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1
00:02:21,572 --> 00:02:26,483
I loved her more than anything
on the face of the earth.
2
00:02:26,702 --> 00:02:31,199
I fell like a stone first time I saw her.
She fell just as hard.
3
00:02:31,415 --> 00:02:34,998
The only difference was,
she knew why.
4
00:02:35,795 --> 00:02:37,835
Kristy was my mate for life.
5
00:02:38,047 --> 00:02:42,756
Kristen Bainbridge. That was her name.
Now she has my name, Briggs.
6
00:02:42,969 --> 00:02:45,756
We're Mr and Mrs Jefferson Briggs,
7
00:02:45,972 --> 00:02:48,012
but everybody calls me Jake.
8
00:02:48,224 --> 00:02:50,264
Except my grandmother.
9
00:02:50,477 --> 00:02:52,719
She calls me Booper.
10
00:02:53,063 --> 00:02:56,562
He's too young and he's too immature.
11
00:02:57,609 --> 00:02:59,649
She's a gold digger.
12
00:02:59,861 --> 00:03:02,946
There's little or no gold to be dug.
13
00:03:03,824 --> 00:03:05,863
He's plenty old.
14
00:03:06,076 --> 00:03:08,947
And people don't mature any more.
15
00:03:09,162 --> 00:03:12,080
They stay jackasses all their lives.
16
00:03:13,709 --> 00:03:18,537
There's a strong streak of rationality
among the males in the family.
17
00:03:18,756 --> 00:03:22,421
It's the women
who keep things electrified.
18
00:03:23,511 --> 00:03:29,098
- Can you put a smile on your face?
- Give me something to smile about.
19
00:03:30,226 --> 00:03:33,096
Russ and Gayle Bainbridge,
my in-laws,
20
00:03:33,312 --> 00:03:37,096
people that, one day,
I would call Mom and Dad.
21
00:03:37,316 --> 00:03:41,231
I'll lay you two bits
that little pea-brain will be late.
22
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:44,064
Don't be silly.
23
00:03:44,282 --> 00:03:47,733
You wouldn't let me throw him out
when I had the chance.
24
00:03:47,952 --> 00:03:51,203
Now the little SOB
is going to be a goddamn relative.
25
00:03:52,582 --> 00:03:56,081
This is what Kristy wants.
Don't spoil it for her.
26
00:03:56,294 --> 00:03:59,544
- Why?
- She's in love.
27
00:03:59,756 --> 00:04:05,213
You can't expect to be foremost
in her mind. It's time we let go of her.
28
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:11,308
Try to find the beauty
in the way she feels about Jake.
29
00:04:14,146 --> 00:04:16,684
Oh, for God's sake.
30
00:04:23,781 --> 00:04:28,822
All right, where in the sweet name
of Christ is that little asshole?
31
00:04:30,496 --> 00:04:32,536
That's me, the groom,
32
00:04:32,748 --> 00:04:36,746
about to charge headlong
into the jaws of responsibility.
33
00:04:37,003 --> 00:04:38,580
What am I doing?
34
00:04:39,255 --> 00:04:43,668
That's Davis McDonald, my best
friend. He was my unsanctioned wife.
35
00:04:43,885 --> 00:04:47,301
We got divorced
when I married Kristy. He liked her.
36
00:04:47,513 --> 00:04:50,051
He may have even loved her.
37
00:04:50,975 --> 00:04:52,470
Are you scared?
38
00:04:56,064 --> 00:04:58,103
Here I am...
39
00:04:58,316 --> 00:05:03,025
I'm on the verge
of binding my life to Kristy's...
40
00:05:04,823 --> 00:05:07,444
...and I've never felt so alone.
41
00:05:08,910 --> 00:05:11,698
We could split.
42
00:05:12,664 --> 00:05:14,871
But you'd be back tomorrow.
43
00:05:15,083 --> 00:05:19,959
You were married the minute you met
her. 16 years old and you were gone.
44
00:05:32,893 --> 00:05:34,933
This is your destiny.
45
00:05:35,146 --> 00:05:40,388
To be forever caught in the crossfire
between your head and your heart.
46
00:05:43,070 --> 00:05:48,860
Do you... Do you think I'm going
to be happy, I mean, honestly?
47
00:05:50,536 --> 00:05:53,870
You want to be a writer.
You want to be a husband.
48
00:05:55,416 --> 00:05:58,287
Maybe it'll work out.
Who knows?
49
00:06:00,588 --> 00:06:02,996
Yeah, you'll be happy.
50
00:06:04,384 --> 00:06:07,634
You just won't know it, that's all.
51
00:06:08,263 --> 00:06:13,388
Never before or again did he nail a
moment more firmly than that afternoon.
52
00:06:13,602 --> 00:06:15,641
He's not all that wise,
53
00:06:15,854 --> 00:06:20,183
he just knew his subject matter
very, very well.
54
00:06:22,069 --> 00:06:24,275
I won't say this again.
55
00:06:24,822 --> 00:06:28,356
You don't have to go through with this.
You can walk.
56
00:06:28,575 --> 00:06:31,280
Say the word
and we are out of here.
57
00:06:37,168 --> 00:06:39,207
Marriage will wait.
58
00:06:40,755 --> 00:06:42,332
Time won't.
59
00:06:49,847 --> 00:06:51,306
Jake!
60
00:07:13,455 --> 00:07:15,032
Shit!
61
00:07:15,332 --> 00:07:18,368
Let us all join
in the Lord's Prayer.
62
00:07:19,378 --> 00:07:21,951
Our Father,
Who art in heaven,
63
00:07:22,172 --> 00:07:24,129
Hallowed be Thy name,
64
00:07:24,341 --> 00:07:27,342
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done
65
00:07:27,553 --> 00:07:29,676
On earth as it is in heaven.
66
00:07:29,888 --> 00:07:32,640
Give us this day our daily bread
67
00:07:32,850 --> 00:07:35,767
- And forgive us our trespasses...
- Amen.
68
00:07:35,978 --> 00:07:38,469
...as we forgive those
who trespass against us.
69
00:07:38,689 --> 00:07:40,765
Lead us not into temptation,
70
00:07:40,983 --> 00:07:43,023
But deliver us from evil,
71
00:07:43,235 --> 00:07:47,185
For Thine is the kingdom,
The power and the glory
72
00:07:47,406 --> 00:07:48,865
For ever and ever.
Amen.
73
00:07:53,079 --> 00:07:55,071
As these two have come hither
74
00:07:55,289 --> 00:08:00,580
to be made one in this holy estate,
if there be anyone here present
75
00:08:00,795 --> 00:08:04,840
who knows any just cause
why they may not lawfully be married,
76
00:08:05,049 --> 00:08:07,338
I require him to make it known
77
00:08:07,969 --> 00:08:10,638
or ever after hold his peace.
78
00:08:14,601 --> 00:08:19,014
Kristen, wilt thou have this man
to be thy husband,
79
00:08:19,940 --> 00:08:24,317
and wilt thou pledge thy troth to him
in all love and honour,
80
00:08:24,861 --> 00:08:27,150
in all duty and service,
81
00:08:27,364 --> 00:08:30,033
in all faith and tenderness;
82
00:08:30,242 --> 00:08:34,951
to live with him and cherish him
according to the ordinance of God
83
00:08:35,164 --> 00:08:38,367
- in the holy bond of marriage?
- I will.
84
00:08:40,169 --> 00:08:43,502
Wilt thou, Jefferson, have this woman
to be thy wedded wife?
85
00:08:43,714 --> 00:08:47,297
Wilt thou comfort and keep her
in sickness and in health...
86
00:08:47,510 --> 00:08:49,549
Wilt thou provide her
with credit cards
87
00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:54,507
and a 4-bedroom, 2½ bath home with
central air and professional decorating?
88
00:08:54,725 --> 00:08:58,260
A Mercedes Benz, two weeks
in the Bahamas every spring?
89
00:08:58,479 --> 00:09:00,970
Wilt thou remember the little things
90
00:09:01,190 --> 00:09:05,437
like flowers on her anniversary,
a kind word on a rough day,
91
00:09:05,653 --> 00:09:10,446
and an occasional
"Gee, honey, you look pretty today"?
92
00:09:11,201 --> 00:09:15,364
Wilt thou be understanding when
she is tired, headachy or upset?
93
00:09:15,580 --> 00:09:19,281
When she feels ugly
or has a big pimple on her chin?
94
00:09:19,501 --> 00:09:21,743
Wilt thou not be such a pig
when you shower?
95
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:26,458
Wilt thou listen patiently to stories
about kids, colds, clothes, shoes
96
00:09:26,675 --> 00:09:28,714
and decorator chequebook covers?
97
00:09:33,724 --> 00:09:35,183
I will.
98
00:09:37,770 --> 00:09:42,515
For as much as Kristen and Jefferson
have consented together in holy wedlock,
99
00:09:42,733 --> 00:09:46,351
and have witnessed the same
before God and this company,
100
00:09:46,570 --> 00:09:50,650
by the joining of hands and
the giving and exchanging of rings,
101
00:09:50,866 --> 00:09:53,867
I pronounce
that they are husband and wife,
102
00:09:54,078 --> 00:09:57,198
whom therefore
God hath joined together,
103
00:09:57,415 --> 00:10:00,250
let no man put asunder.
104
00:10:00,835 --> 00:10:03,243
You may now kiss the bride.
105
00:10:11,054 --> 00:10:14,174
But don't mess up
her hair or her face
106
00:10:14,390 --> 00:10:18,091
because she still has
to have her picture taken.
107
00:10:24,442 --> 00:10:26,519
Go for it.
108
00:10:54,682 --> 00:10:58,347
I had graduated college
and, for reasons not clear to us,
109
00:10:58,561 --> 00:11:01,681
we decided I should pursue
my master's degree.
110
00:11:01,898 --> 00:11:06,476
Kristy had her degree and insisted I
get mine before she began her career.
111
00:11:06,694 --> 00:11:10,526
There wasn't time for the Bahamas,
or even Niagara Falls.
112
00:11:10,740 --> 00:11:15,817
We spent our honeymoon on an
interstate highway to New Mexico.
113
00:11:16,788 --> 00:11:20,738
Kristy, back and forth and
back and forth and back and forth.
114
00:11:20,959 --> 00:11:23,201
Babe, I got it.
115
00:11:28,758 --> 00:11:33,219
Babe, you're wrinkling up
all of the central states. I see it.
116
00:11:33,430 --> 00:11:36,929
I'm not...
The world's biggest bow tie.
117
00:11:45,025 --> 00:11:48,394
Our first address.
Not pretty, but cheap.
118
00:11:49,029 --> 00:11:51,437
And happy. Sort of.
119
00:12:03,544 --> 00:12:06,913
- You don't like fish?
- I love fish.
120
00:12:07,715 --> 00:12:12,377
- If you loved it, you'd eat it.
- No, I honestly love it.
121
00:12:12,595 --> 00:12:17,756
It's just a little overwhelming
to have swordfish and...
122
00:12:20,478 --> 00:12:22,518
Trout.
123
00:12:24,357 --> 00:12:27,691
- And over here?
- Grouper. It's grouper.
124
00:12:27,902 --> 00:12:29,729
It's grouper.
125
00:12:30,447 --> 00:12:33,898
- The fries are good.
- That's breaded smelt.
126
00:12:34,117 --> 00:12:36,240
What are you doing?
127
00:12:36,661 --> 00:12:40,742
I didn't know what you liked. I'm trying
to make you happy and you mock me.
128
00:12:40,958 --> 00:12:43,164
Kristy, come on.
129
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,295
Jake...
130
00:12:48,632 --> 00:12:52,677
I have to do something with myself.
I have to get a job or take classes.
131
00:12:52,886 --> 00:12:55,971
You'll weigh 400lbs. I'm not mad.
I don't like fish, either.
132
00:12:56,181 --> 00:13:01,472
You don't need to get a job.
You don't need to take classes.
133
00:13:05,858 --> 00:13:08,942
- I got to get out of here.
- Don't start that!
134
00:13:09,153 --> 00:13:12,653
Come on. College is like
high school with ashtrays.
135
00:13:12,865 --> 00:13:16,863
- I don't know where I'm going.
- You have two more years.
136
00:13:17,078 --> 00:13:20,743
It doesn't matter if you don't know
where you're going now.
137
00:13:20,957 --> 00:13:25,868
I learnt nothing as an undergraduate.
I'm learning less in graduate school.
138
00:13:26,087 --> 00:13:28,661
Davis started his own business.
139
00:13:28,882 --> 00:13:33,045
Yeah, with his dad's money.
I don't think you'd do that.
140
00:13:33,261 --> 00:13:37,093
At least his life has begun.
Mine is on indefinite hold.
141
00:13:37,307 --> 00:13:44,057
- You really want to leave?
- I can't think of any reason to stay.
142
00:13:45,732 --> 00:13:48,769
Jefferson, can you tell Grandpa
143
00:13:48,986 --> 00:13:53,066
why Bumble Bunny
was such a happy little rabbit?
144
00:13:53,282 --> 00:13:57,825
- Because he went to college.
- Boy, are you a smart little fellow!
145
00:13:58,037 --> 00:14:01,406
- And what did he get in college?
- A master's degree.
146
00:14:01,624 --> 00:14:05,704
A master's degree.
What would have happened to him
147
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:10,131
if he hadn't gone to college
and gotten that master's degree?
148
00:14:10,341 --> 00:14:15,086
Probably end up working on a loading
dock and hating every minute of it.
149
00:14:15,304 --> 00:14:19,433
You're going to college to get
a master's degree, aren't you?
150
00:14:19,642 --> 00:14:20,887
Yes, sir.
151
00:14:21,102 --> 00:14:25,230
Then you'll never end up working
on a loading dock, no sir!
152
00:14:26,774 --> 00:14:28,814
College boy!
153
00:14:33,448 --> 00:14:36,402
- Morty, how about those Cubs?
- Shut up!
154
00:14:39,162 --> 00:14:42,662
Morty, did you catch
that PBS special last night,
155
00:14:42,874 --> 00:14:45,994
- "Animals of the Australian..."
- Shut up!
156
00:14:46,211 --> 00:14:49,295
- Shut up!
- I didn't say anything.
157
00:14:51,216 --> 00:14:55,131
I think a man can judge
his success or failure
158
00:14:55,345 --> 00:14:58,964
by the amount of overtime
his wife works, eh, Jake?
159
00:14:59,183 --> 00:15:02,100
I don't work late
because we need the money.
160
00:15:02,311 --> 00:15:04,884
- We don't. We're fine.
- That's true, Russ.
161
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,098
What do you know?
162
00:15:07,316 --> 00:15:12,144
Did we really raise her to answer
telephones and live in a shoe box?
163
00:15:13,114 --> 00:15:17,989
- We didn't come here to get insulted.
- Oh, is he above criticism?
164
00:15:18,202 --> 00:15:23,078
Jake, Kristy says you're uncomfortable
calling us Mom and Dad.
165
00:15:23,875 --> 00:15:28,584
- Why don't you call us by our...
- Gayle, will you please...!
166
00:15:28,796 --> 00:15:30,836
...names?
167
00:15:34,302 --> 00:15:38,715
If you're going to piss your life away
writing some goddamn book
168
00:15:38,932 --> 00:15:42,217
that nobody is ever
going to give a crap about,
169
00:15:42,435 --> 00:15:44,973
why did you involve
my daughter?
170
00:15:45,188 --> 00:15:48,023
If she gets pregnant,
what will you do?
171
00:15:48,233 --> 00:15:50,689
Three can't live on what you make.
172
00:15:52,279 --> 00:15:54,984
Two can't live on what you make.
173
00:16:02,623 --> 00:16:04,662
Kristy...
174
00:16:05,459 --> 00:16:07,701
Is the baby warm enough?
175
00:16:09,922 --> 00:16:13,421
We're fine.
Sweetie, don't burn your book.
176
00:16:14,385 --> 00:16:16,923
Maybe we can get some wood.
177
00:16:18,306 --> 00:16:20,345
Wood's expensive.
178
00:16:21,809 --> 00:16:23,849
Words are cheap.
179
00:16:31,361 --> 00:16:34,611
- What are you thinking about?
- Nothing.
180
00:16:34,864 --> 00:16:37,818
My mom and I
got my dad to admit he was rude.
181
00:16:38,034 --> 00:16:41,071
Do you want to come in?
He went to bed.
182
00:16:41,371 --> 00:16:44,158
He wasn't entirely wrong, you know.
183
00:16:44,374 --> 00:16:47,209
If you weren't working,
we'd be broke.
184
00:16:47,419 --> 00:16:49,874
So I am working and we're not.
185
00:16:50,922 --> 00:16:53,592
But you're married to a child.
186
00:16:54,176 --> 00:16:57,093
I've got a job
and I don't even know what I do.
187
00:16:58,138 --> 00:17:02,350
- So what should you do?
- The question is, what can I do?
188
00:17:02,559 --> 00:17:06,889
Sweetheart, you have
a BA in Romance Languages.
189
00:17:07,606 --> 00:17:10,560
- What was your minor?
- Elizabethan Poetry.
190
00:17:10,776 --> 00:17:13,445
Well, what skills do you have?
191
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,949
OK... Let's see.
192
00:17:28,544 --> 00:17:29,955
Jefferson Briggs.
193
00:17:32,590 --> 00:17:36,006
- Call you Jeff?
- It's Jake.
194
00:17:39,889 --> 00:17:41,218
Or Jeff.
195
00:17:41,432 --> 00:17:45,015
Says here you worked for
a Japanese advertising agency.
196
00:17:45,854 --> 00:17:47,182
Netsu.
197
00:17:47,814 --> 00:17:50,020
- Netsu?
- Netsu.
198
00:17:52,485 --> 00:17:57,029
Well, Netsu is one
of our foreign subsidiaries.
199
00:17:58,617 --> 00:18:00,775
Hey, we own that.
200
00:18:00,994 --> 00:18:04,494
There are thousands
of advertising agencies
201
00:18:04,706 --> 00:18:08,040
and you chose one we own.
That was a bad call.
202
00:18:10,212 --> 00:18:13,296
You're full of crap, aren't you?
203
00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:16,091
Yeah.
204
00:18:16,302 --> 00:18:19,219
After this Netsu thing,
I got curious,
205
00:18:19,430 --> 00:18:22,099
so I checked out
the rest of your résumé.
206
00:18:22,308 --> 00:18:26,436
And, aside from
your social security number...
207
00:18:29,065 --> 00:18:33,359
...there isn't one piece of information
in there that is true.
208
00:18:33,569 --> 00:18:38,730
You have set new standards
for lying in the job market.
209
00:18:39,659 --> 00:18:46,456
There's no question you can write. And
coming here with a whopper like this...
210
00:18:47,792 --> 00:18:50,366
You must want to work pretty bad.
211
00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:53,956
I need to work.
212
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:58,041
- Can you make something of yourself?
- I think I can.
213
00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:02,046
How do you feel about slave wages?
214
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:08,433
- Slave wages are fine.
- How do you feel about alcoholics?
215
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,107
I like alcoholics?
216
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:17,647
I got the job.
We celebrated with Chinese food.
217
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:22,408
And Kristy bought me two suits,
six ties and a commuter rail pass.
218
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:24,826
I was being paid to write.
219
00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:29,037
Not novels, ads. People
were taking notice of my ability.
220
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:33,545
There was something fresh in the
way I wrote about disposable diapers.
221
00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:38,755
I was meeting my obligations
to the life we were making.
222
00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:42,469
There was finally
a future in my future.
223
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:49,062
So why did I feel
like the world was closing in on me?
224
00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:54,270
Now I had a real job and
Kristy was moving up in her company,
225
00:19:54,486 --> 00:19:59,029
we could buy a three-bedroom
mortgage with two baths.
226
00:20:01,660 --> 00:20:04,365
My mother offered
to buy us a couch.
227
00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:07,580
I don't know
why you turned her down.
228
00:20:09,126 --> 00:20:12,376
Two reasons.
First, she wanted to pick it
229
00:20:12,588 --> 00:20:16,716
and therefore make sure
I decorate the house to her taste.
230
00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:21,718
Second, if she bought one, she'd want
to come over all the time and admire it.
231
00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:26,343
- Would that be so terrible?
- Let's not fight.
232
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,849
- Who's fighting?
- You're getting ready.
233
00:20:29,063 --> 00:20:32,479
- No. You made the nasty remark.
- Not nasty, true.
234
00:20:32,692 --> 00:20:35,562
What did she say
when she came here?
235
00:20:35,778 --> 00:20:37,854
That they liked the place.
236
00:20:38,072 --> 00:20:40,646
- To you. And to me?
- I don't remember.
237
00:20:40,867 --> 00:20:45,161
"It's amazing how little
your housing dollar buys today."
238
00:20:45,371 --> 00:20:49,535
Kristy, she was merely stating
a simple economic fact.
239
00:20:49,751 --> 00:20:53,334
Every time family comes up, we fight,
so why don't we drop it?
240
00:20:53,546 --> 00:20:57,544
Well, I can handle it. You can't.
That's what's bothering you.
241
00:20:57,759 --> 00:21:01,839
We'll have our own family.
Your family and mine don't matter.
242
00:21:02,055 --> 00:21:05,389
Well, I would like
to have my family over once.
243
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,886
They were over once.
They'll be over again.
244
00:21:09,104 --> 00:21:13,268
Nothing you say will change the fact
they are my flesh and blood.
245
00:21:13,483 --> 00:21:16,817
If they're your flesh and blood,
what am I?
246
00:21:17,029 --> 00:21:19,602
You're my wife,
not my flesh and blood.
247
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,482
Why not move in with them, then?
248
00:21:22,701 --> 00:21:27,197
You share flesh and blood. With me,
it's just gold bands and bath towels.
249
00:21:27,414 --> 00:21:32,539
- That's not what I meant.
- They're your flesh and blood. I'm not.
250
00:21:33,671 --> 00:21:38,214
- I'm just the asshole who married you.
- Do you mean that?
251
00:21:39,594 --> 00:21:42,548
- No.
- This is ridiculous.
252
00:21:42,763 --> 00:21:45,848
Very.
I'll see you later.
253
00:21:49,020 --> 00:21:52,852
You didn't put the end table
on the end of anything.
254
00:21:58,196 --> 00:22:02,241
The job, the house, the furniture,
the fights, those were symptoms.
255
00:22:02,450 --> 00:22:04,573
The disease was growing up
256
00:22:04,786 --> 00:22:08,736
and it was happening
faster than I'd imagined possible.
257
00:22:08,957 --> 00:22:14,200
I'd thought I might be the mythical
immortal one, the true Peter Pan.
258
00:22:14,421 --> 00:22:16,877
I was sorely mistaken.
259
00:22:25,933 --> 00:22:28,091
We can't afford this.
260
00:22:35,276 --> 00:22:37,315
Goodbye.
261
00:22:44,785 --> 00:22:46,825
I'll miss you.
262
00:23:31,792 --> 00:23:34,959
- He's going to burn them!
- Cynthia, he's going to burn them.
263
00:23:35,462 --> 00:23:37,538
Gregory, put that down!
264
00:23:38,465 --> 00:23:41,135
You know what I like about you,
Briggsie?
265
00:23:41,343 --> 00:23:45,128
- I can't imagine.
- Your wife and your lawnmower.
266
00:23:46,682 --> 00:23:50,680
I've seen your wife.
What kind of mower you got, Briggsie?
267
00:23:50,895 --> 00:23:53,184
It's... the kind
you don't have to push.
268
00:23:53,397 --> 00:23:58,024
But you do it standing up.
A power mower.
269
00:23:58,236 --> 00:24:00,193
What brand?
270
00:24:03,533 --> 00:24:08,195
I've got to be honest with you.
It was a gift and I never looked.
271
00:24:08,413 --> 00:24:11,082
Wait a minute.
You don't know?
272
00:24:11,291 --> 00:24:14,576
When you got it,
didn't any specs come with it?
273
00:24:14,794 --> 00:24:16,752
How can you not know?
274
00:24:16,963 --> 00:24:20,214
You've got a Big Yard King 410.
Remember that.
275
00:24:20,425 --> 00:24:24,126
- A Yard King 410.
- The 410 is shit. I like the old 380.
276
00:24:24,346 --> 00:24:26,718
You're crazy!
The grass catcher on a 410
277
00:24:26,932 --> 00:24:30,301
has a third more
capacity than a 380.
278
00:24:30,519 --> 00:24:35,311
It doesn't matter how much cubic feet
of horseshit you can get in it.
279
00:24:35,524 --> 00:24:38,311
The 410's got a plastic flywheel.
280
00:24:38,527 --> 00:24:41,694
You'll have a major lawsuit
on your hands.
281
00:24:41,906 --> 00:24:46,781
The government won't buy 410s because
of the danger of the plastic flywheel.
282
00:24:46,994 --> 00:24:49,034
Put that down!
283
00:24:52,416 --> 00:24:56,497
- Where do you work?
- I'm a research analyst at Comtex.
284
00:24:56,712 --> 00:25:01,006
Ha! I win! Lynn bet me a box
of Pop Tarts that you were a lawyer.
285
00:25:01,217 --> 00:25:04,171
Every career woman
who moves into this neighbourhood
286
00:25:04,387 --> 00:25:07,305
brings something
nobody's ever heard of.
287
00:25:07,515 --> 00:25:11,465
What did Sheila Walker-Reynolds
make last year?
288
00:25:11,686 --> 00:25:16,064
It was red...
Goat cheese ravioli.
289
00:25:16,274 --> 00:25:19,061
- No, that wasn't it.
- It certainly was.
290
00:25:19,277 --> 00:25:21,317
Hank asked her,
she told him,
291
00:25:21,530 --> 00:25:25,527
then he spat it out and
the Thackerays' dog got hold of it.
292
00:25:25,742 --> 00:25:29,870
I'll give you a piece of philosophy.
Wives are like lawnmowers.
293
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:33,948
Fancy ones wear out fast.
Good solid ones last a lifetime.
294
00:25:34,168 --> 00:25:36,919
This man goes through
two hoses a season.
295
00:25:37,129 --> 00:25:40,961
My point is still valid.
I'm not married to my hose.
296
00:25:41,175 --> 00:25:43,464
Good.
You'd be on your 18th wife.
297
00:25:43,677 --> 00:25:47,545
There's some humour for you.
That is supposed to be humour.
298
00:25:47,765 --> 00:25:50,386
He buys the cheap crap
you can't roll up
299
00:25:50,601 --> 00:25:53,555
and the sun beats down
and heats the water up.
300
00:25:53,771 --> 00:25:57,899
Then, when he washes his dog,
he scalds the shit out of it.
301
00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:02,694
- Hank's washing his dog again!
- It happened once.
302
00:26:02,905 --> 00:26:05,361
- Twice.
- You can't count!
303
00:26:05,575 --> 00:26:08,944
- I've got to check on something.
- It's something I said.
304
00:26:09,162 --> 00:26:12,780
Hey, Briggsie!
Let me ask you a question.
305
00:26:13,541 --> 00:26:16,246
What do you do up in that room
at night?
306
00:26:16,461 --> 00:26:19,747
I've seen you.
Your hands are doing weird things.
307
00:26:19,965 --> 00:26:24,093
- I'm writing a book.
- A book?
308
00:26:24,302 --> 00:26:27,220
It was Scooter Albert
that ate the balloon.
309
00:26:27,431 --> 00:26:30,431
The little cross-eyed boy
with the impetigo.
310
00:26:30,642 --> 00:26:34,474
Was he the one who drew the boobies
on Heather's doll?
311
00:26:34,688 --> 00:26:37,357
- No, he was...
- Will you excuse me?
312
00:26:37,566 --> 00:26:39,559
Oh, yeah.
313
00:26:42,863 --> 00:26:47,157
Listen, if your wife was
in as good condition as his is,
314
00:26:47,368 --> 00:26:49,740
would you be up all night
writing a book?
315
00:26:50,412 --> 00:26:53,366
- Look at them.
- What are they talking about?
316
00:26:53,582 --> 00:26:55,955
Three guesses.
317
00:26:59,130 --> 00:27:00,754
Ken!
318
00:27:02,008 --> 00:27:04,962
- Ken, I'm talking to you.
- Yo!
319
00:27:05,303 --> 00:27:08,138
Would you bring the picnic table
around?
320
00:27:09,098 --> 00:27:12,598
- Go on. You're up.
- Hank! Help him!
321
00:27:12,810 --> 00:27:14,969
He can do it himself.
322
00:27:15,188 --> 00:27:18,224
You haven't done a thing
to get ready for this.
323
00:27:18,441 --> 00:27:21,015
I did.
I washed the dog, didn't I?
324
00:27:21,236 --> 00:27:23,275
You burned the dog!
325
00:28:00,401 --> 00:28:02,974
You've got to come to New York
some time.
326
00:28:03,195 --> 00:28:07,276
I know. I've tried to convince Kristy.
I really want to.
327
00:28:07,492 --> 00:28:11,821
- I mean, it makes Chicago look like...
- Chicago.
328
00:28:17,126 --> 00:28:19,831
- Do you work, Erin?
- She models.
329
00:28:20,046 --> 00:28:23,000
- Oh, really?
- I just did a video.
330
00:28:23,216 --> 00:28:26,667
- Are you in a band? Or...?
- No, I'm not in a band!
331
00:28:26,886 --> 00:28:30,670
- What do you do?
- Give me your glass.
332
00:28:30,891 --> 00:28:34,010
- Sure. It's diet. Is that OK?
- Figures.
333
00:28:46,323 --> 00:28:48,363
That's great.
334
00:28:48,575 --> 00:28:52,787
That's terrific.
That's really, really good.
335
00:28:53,956 --> 00:28:59,994
It's just running in clubs right now.
MTV rejected it because of the nudity.
336
00:29:00,212 --> 00:29:02,371
- You're kidding?
- No.
337
00:29:02,590 --> 00:29:05,507
It's ridiculous.
That is ridiculous.
338
00:29:05,718 --> 00:29:10,179
Big deal. I'm wearing a fucking
g-string. I didn't even bend over.
339
00:29:10,389 --> 00:29:15,550
That's not that controversial if you
didn't bend over. I mean, that's not...
340
00:29:19,232 --> 00:29:23,561
How long have you been married?
I mean, you are married, right?
341
00:29:23,778 --> 00:29:27,562
Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
Got the band of gold.
342
00:29:28,992 --> 00:29:30,901
It's, er...
343
00:29:31,119 --> 00:29:33,906
- Two years, babe.
- Two years.
344
00:29:38,418 --> 00:29:42,250
- How long are you staying in town?
- A few days.
345
00:29:43,757 --> 00:29:47,126
Erin's mother died last night,
so we're doing the funeral...
346
00:29:47,344 --> 00:29:49,171
...bullshit.
- That whole scene.
347
00:29:49,388 --> 00:29:54,595
Yeah, Davis made me come. I think
he misses Chicago, if that's possible.
348
00:29:54,810 --> 00:29:56,850
You see, I'm a New Yorker.
349
00:29:57,062 --> 00:30:00,229
- I hate everyplace else.
- I know what you mean.
350
00:30:00,441 --> 00:30:03,311
I can take LA.
I won't puke if I'm in LA.
351
00:30:03,527 --> 00:30:06,777
- Yeah, LA is nice.
- We've never been to LA.
352
00:30:06,989 --> 00:30:10,192
Of course, we've never been,
but I hear it's nice.
353
00:30:10,785 --> 00:30:14,320
- Yeah, right.
- I'm so sorry about your mother, Erin.
354
00:30:14,539 --> 00:30:17,243
You and Neiman Marcus.
355
00:30:21,546 --> 00:30:25,840
- Are you staying with family?
- We're at the Ritz-Carlton.
356
00:30:26,050 --> 00:30:28,624
Tragic error coming up.
Ready?
357
00:30:28,845 --> 00:30:32,428
One, two, three...
358
00:30:33,641 --> 00:30:38,469
A hotel? Don't be silly.
Why don't you stay here?
359
00:30:43,652 --> 00:30:46,059
- What?
- What do you mean, "what"?
360
00:30:46,279 --> 00:30:48,984
Am I supposed to make
my best friend stay in a hotel?
361
00:30:49,199 --> 00:30:54,988
Best friend, my ass! In two years,
he's turned into a complete jerk.
362
00:30:55,205 --> 00:30:57,114
- Excuse me?
- You heard.
363
00:30:57,332 --> 00:31:00,666
- And his girlfriend is nauseating.
- Nauseating?
364
00:31:00,878 --> 00:31:04,923
Her mother died last night,
but she didn't want to come.
365
00:31:05,132 --> 00:31:09,462
- She models nude in videos.
- Not nude. She was wearing a g-thing.
366
00:31:09,678 --> 00:31:13,427
- It probably wasn't a video.
- Maybe her mother wasn't very nice.
367
00:31:13,641 --> 00:31:16,558
I don't care.
That bitch has no feelings
368
00:31:16,769 --> 00:31:20,304
and it makes me sick
she's sleeping in our house.
369
00:31:20,523 --> 00:31:23,096
I'll have to burn the sheets!
370
00:31:23,317 --> 00:31:26,402
What if the shoe
was on the other foot?
371
00:31:26,612 --> 00:31:28,652
I'd go barefoot!
372
00:31:28,865 --> 00:31:32,198
- Don't give me that righteous pose.
- Move!
373
00:31:32,410 --> 00:31:34,202
- What?
- Move!
374
00:31:34,412 --> 00:31:37,781
What do you want me to do?
Throw them out in the snow?
375
00:31:37,999 --> 00:31:39,743
- Yes.
- You'd like that?
376
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:41,620
- Yes.
- Forget it!
377
00:31:41,836 --> 00:31:44,209
- You're not sleeping in this bed.
- Really?
378
00:31:44,422 --> 00:31:46,748
Anywhere but this room
or this bed.
379
00:31:46,967 --> 00:31:50,087
Isn't it embarrassing
to have Davis know we're fighting?
380
00:31:50,303 --> 00:31:53,969
- Not to me.
- OK, fine, forget it. Forget it!
381
00:31:56,018 --> 00:32:00,062
But if he asks,
I'm telling him everything.
382
00:32:00,272 --> 00:32:04,400
Don't forget to tell him
how I feel about his girlfriend!
383
00:32:04,860 --> 00:32:07,861
She's got some lungs
when she wants them, huh?
384
00:32:08,739 --> 00:32:11,111
Oh, jerk!
385
00:32:18,249 --> 00:32:21,499
I never thought
this was where you'd end up.
386
00:32:21,711 --> 00:32:26,289
- I like it here.
- Let me tell you something, pal.
387
00:32:26,507 --> 00:32:28,998
You want to write,
move to New York.
388
00:32:29,218 --> 00:32:33,168
Here, nothing happens to write about.
I'm just being honest.
389
00:32:33,389 --> 00:32:37,304
I see you dead in the water, face down.
You are rotting.
390
00:32:37,519 --> 00:32:39,807
What is this?
391
00:32:40,021 --> 00:32:43,936
Give me that.
That's my porcelain udder buddy.
392
00:32:45,026 --> 00:32:48,561
- It's a dairy dispenser.
- Delightful.
393
00:32:48,780 --> 00:32:52,445
You've just arrived.
How do you know how I am?
394
00:32:52,659 --> 00:32:56,657
Look at the way that you live.
It's boring, it's torpid.
395
00:32:56,872 --> 00:33:00,704
I mean, my God, "Ho, ho, ho,
cocktails and mistletoe."
396
00:33:00,918 --> 00:33:04,369
Yeah. Let's just bop on
over to Walt and Shirley's
397
00:33:04,588 --> 00:33:07,542
- for egg-nog and a yule log.
- Wiseass!
398
00:33:07,758 --> 00:33:11,257
- You believe in this!
- Should I live like you?
399
00:33:11,470 --> 00:33:13,344
- Yes.
- I can't.
400
00:33:13,556 --> 00:33:16,889
- Why not?
- You live for yourself. I don't.
401
00:33:17,101 --> 00:33:19,343
I have Kristy.
402
00:33:23,858 --> 00:33:26,349
- You want some more truth?
- No.
403
00:33:26,569 --> 00:33:32,607
Too bad. It's rude and it's wrong,
but it's right on the money.
404
00:33:33,493 --> 00:33:36,944
She's holding you back, man.
405
00:33:37,163 --> 00:33:41,457
You're a drowning man
and she is an anchor around your neck.
406
00:33:41,668 --> 00:33:45,037
- She is making all the choices.
- No, that's not...
407
00:33:45,255 --> 00:33:47,294
- Yes!
- No.
408
00:33:48,133 --> 00:33:52,213
I love Kristy.
She's the sweetest girl in the world.
409
00:33:53,305 --> 00:33:56,306
She doesn't have
a mean bone in her body.
410
00:33:57,517 --> 00:34:02,014
But I love you like a brother,
and you know that.
411
00:34:04,107 --> 00:34:08,236
And this hurts like hell to say,
and maybe I'm wrong...
412
00:34:10,906 --> 00:34:12,946
...but I miss you.
413
00:34:14,076 --> 00:34:16,116
I miss you very much.
414
00:34:20,875 --> 00:34:23,710
I miss our friendship.
415
00:34:23,919 --> 00:34:25,829
Very much.
416
00:34:32,011 --> 00:34:34,051
Kiss me.
417
00:34:39,602 --> 00:34:42,769
Hey, remember what I said, though.
418
00:34:43,565 --> 00:34:46,186
- What about Erin?
- What about Erin?
419
00:34:46,401 --> 00:34:51,775
- Don't you have any feelings for her?
- No, and I hope she has none for me.
420
00:34:51,990 --> 00:34:54,907
You don't have to
to go to bed with somebody,
421
00:34:55,118 --> 00:35:00,409
and the fact you mention it indicates
how parochial you've become.
422
00:35:00,624 --> 00:35:05,963
I don't think there's anything
parochial about a man loving a woman.
423
00:35:06,171 --> 00:35:11,213
Save that for the Broadway show lyrics.
It's nothing to live your life by.
424
00:35:11,426 --> 00:35:16,883
I'm very disappointed in you, Jake.
You should be doing more than this.
425
00:35:17,474 --> 00:35:20,725
- I'm doing just fine.
- You can think that.
426
00:35:20,936 --> 00:35:25,100
I do. There's more
to life than getting laid.
427
00:35:27,818 --> 00:35:31,484
You can think that, too.
428
00:36:30,174 --> 00:36:33,757
I love this place.
This is great.
429
00:36:33,969 --> 00:36:37,089
Can you believe it, $3 for a beer?
430
00:36:37,306 --> 00:36:40,177
I paid $3.
I love that. It's great.
431
00:38:12,154 --> 00:38:15,320
Be right back, OK?
You'll wait right here?
432
00:39:02,664 --> 00:39:04,703
Enjoying the music?
433
00:39:07,836 --> 00:39:12,628
I'm sorry. The ladies' room was too
crowded. You don't mind, do you?
434
00:39:12,841 --> 00:39:14,383
No, no, not at all.
435
00:39:33,278 --> 00:39:36,529
- Do you come here a lot?
- A lot?
436
00:39:36,740 --> 00:39:39,278
I don't know if you'd say a lot.
Twice tonight.
437
00:39:39,493 --> 00:39:43,111
But, you know, I had coffee earlier,
then a beer.
438
00:39:43,330 --> 00:39:45,656
I meant the place.
The club.
439
00:39:51,339 --> 00:39:53,166
Ciao.
440
00:40:05,854 --> 00:40:09,554
Hi, Lefty.
How's the neighbourhood gigolo?
441
00:40:11,776 --> 00:40:15,774
Well, Lefty boy,
about this Valerie Blake.
442
00:40:15,989 --> 00:40:18,527
Is she, you know...?
443
00:40:40,139 --> 00:40:41,930
Kristy.
444
00:40:43,976 --> 00:40:46,597
Did you hear that?
Kris?
445
00:40:51,359 --> 00:40:53,398
Oh, my God.
446
00:41:53,964 --> 00:41:56,004
Hello, Jake.
447
00:42:01,139 --> 00:42:03,760
Is it all right that I came in?
448
00:42:03,975 --> 00:42:07,807
- How did you find me?
- I've been watching you.
449
00:42:09,647 --> 00:42:14,025
You must know, I don't make a habit
of walking into people's houses.
450
00:42:14,235 --> 00:42:16,145
It's OK.
451
00:42:20,408 --> 00:42:22,448
You're frightened.
452
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:27,832
I don't know.
I...
453
00:42:28,041 --> 00:42:33,249
I think I'm experiencing an emotion
that hasn't been defined yet.
454
00:42:36,008 --> 00:42:38,712
The more I try to explain to you why
455
00:42:38,927 --> 00:42:41,881
and how I came to be here...
456
00:42:43,057 --> 00:42:46,805
...the less we'd both understand it.
- Probably.
457
00:42:48,187 --> 00:42:54,439
I'll just say that I have a very deep
and certain feeling about you.
458
00:42:55,569 --> 00:42:59,567
- Do you believe in destiny?
- From now on, I will.
459
00:43:00,992 --> 00:43:03,031
We were meant to be.
460
00:43:03,244 --> 00:43:06,695
You've long felt
like something was missing.
461
00:43:06,914 --> 00:43:10,497
You were carrying with you a void.
I was born to fill it.
462
00:43:11,961 --> 00:43:14,001
We can't help it.
463
00:43:24,099 --> 00:43:28,844
Our lives up to now have
been the prelude to this moment.
464
00:43:29,563 --> 00:43:34,604
Now it's happened, and
all that emptiness you felt is gone.
465
00:43:36,028 --> 00:43:39,194
It's not wrong.
No guilt.
466
00:43:39,406 --> 00:43:43,071
It's destiny.
You couldn't prevent it.
467
00:43:43,952 --> 00:43:47,571
No guilt, only pleasure.
468
00:43:50,417 --> 00:43:54,747
You don't need anything else
for the rest of your life.
469
00:43:59,510 --> 00:44:02,713
- We have no choice?
- We have no choice.
470
00:44:05,016 --> 00:44:07,055
We're destiny.
471
00:44:07,685 --> 00:44:10,721
Jake, you're dreaming again,
sweetie.
472
00:44:17,487 --> 00:44:20,488
Babe!
Babe, what happened?
473
00:44:21,199 --> 00:44:23,238
Bad dream.
474
00:44:24,911 --> 00:44:29,454
Why couldn't I accept who I was,
what I was and where I was?
475
00:44:29,666 --> 00:44:32,786
Why couldn't I be
like everyone else on the train?
476
00:44:33,003 --> 00:44:38,341
Were they mindless drones following
the scent of money to a senseless end?
477
00:44:38,550 --> 00:44:40,590
Or bearers of a great secret
478
00:44:40,802 --> 00:44:45,595
that allowed them to rejoice in this life
that I was so unwilling to embrace?
479
00:44:45,807 --> 00:44:48,808
And what was the deal
with that weird dream?
480
00:44:49,019 --> 00:44:52,056
So many questions.
So few answers.
481
00:44:55,609 --> 00:44:59,061
17, 18. What's the big deal?
What do you expect?
482
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,319
You've been here a year.
483
00:45:01,532 --> 00:45:05,696
Five, ten years, you'll be cranking
this crap out in your sleep.
484
00:45:06,620 --> 00:45:10,239
I don't intend to be writing ads
ten years from now.
485
00:45:10,833 --> 00:45:14,368
- Oh, what? This is just temporary?
- Yeah, very.
486
00:45:15,171 --> 00:45:20,129
I had the same feelings at your age.
I actually even quit once.
487
00:45:20,343 --> 00:45:22,751
- Did you?
- To write a book.
488
00:45:22,971 --> 00:45:24,928
- Yeah?
- Yep.
489
00:45:25,139 --> 00:45:28,010
And I built six birdhouses,
put on 20lb,
490
00:45:28,226 --> 00:45:30,515
watched 5,000 hours of TV,
491
00:45:30,729 --> 00:45:35,307
wrote a page and a half,
called Howard, got my old job back.
492
00:45:35,525 --> 00:45:39,190
Everybody tries it
and everybody comes back.
493
00:45:39,404 --> 00:45:41,729
The rare individual breaks out.
494
00:45:41,948 --> 00:45:46,242
But it's too infrequent to warrant
consideration. Forget it.
495
00:45:46,453 --> 00:45:49,952
Well, you're looking
at the rare individual,
496
00:45:50,165 --> 00:45:52,205
because I'm busting out.
497
00:45:52,417 --> 00:45:58,290
Listen. I measure my life
in degrees of happiness.
498
00:45:58,507 --> 00:46:03,216
I'm supporting my family
in a way that makes me happy.
499
00:46:03,679 --> 00:46:08,306
I've got a nice house.
I've got a real nice car.
500
00:46:08,517 --> 00:46:12,218
And, once a year,
I write an ad that I'm proud of.
501
00:46:13,773 --> 00:46:17,640
- And that's what you want?
- No, that's what I take.
502
00:46:17,860 --> 00:46:19,853
You never get what you want.
503
00:46:20,071 --> 00:46:24,235
The guys who jump off the bridge
on their 40th birthdays
504
00:46:24,450 --> 00:46:28,365
are the ones who want
more than they will ever get.
505
00:46:29,330 --> 00:46:31,952
- You depress the shit out of me.
- Yeah?
506
00:46:32,167 --> 00:46:34,243
Consider what I do to myself.
507
00:46:34,711 --> 00:46:37,997
He was my boss.
I secretly believed he was terrified
508
00:46:38,214 --> 00:46:41,500
that I might make something of
myself outside the field.
509
00:46:41,718 --> 00:46:45,301
If I did, he'd be reminded
of his own failures.
510
00:46:45,514 --> 00:46:47,637
The last thing I needed
511
00:46:47,849 --> 00:46:52,013
was a 36-year-old manic depressive
begrudging me my youth.
512
00:46:52,229 --> 00:46:54,518
I was frightened enough
that it was evaporating.
513
00:46:54,731 --> 00:46:58,183
Get used to it, pal.
It only gets worse.
514
00:47:11,749 --> 00:47:14,501
- Have you ever held a baby before?
- No.
515
00:47:14,710 --> 00:47:17,415
- Do you want to?
- Yes.
516
00:47:17,630 --> 00:47:19,670
Sit over here.
517
00:47:33,897 --> 00:47:36,470
Kristy, over here right now.
518
00:47:40,570 --> 00:47:43,655
Now.
No, not later, now. Sex now.
519
00:47:44,574 --> 00:47:47,361
Babe, we're going to have sex now.
520
00:47:47,577 --> 00:47:49,617
Can we have sex now?
521
00:47:49,830 --> 00:47:53,578
You want to mate with me?
You want to mate?
522
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:15,556
Sorry, guys, take a hike.
523
00:48:32,415 --> 00:48:35,831
Russ. What I'm going to do
to your daughter tonight...
524
00:49:18,546 --> 00:49:21,333
Kristy?
I'm going to sleep now, babe.
525
00:49:21,549 --> 00:49:25,048
So when you come in,
be careful not to wake me,
526
00:49:25,261 --> 00:49:27,882
because I'm really tired.
527
00:49:28,973 --> 00:49:31,013
OK?
528
00:49:31,225 --> 00:49:34,392
I'm just...
I'm just dog tired.
529
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:38,315
And I've got a big day tomorrow.
530
00:49:39,567 --> 00:49:44,063
One of the stupidest and least
effective methods of seducing a woman.
531
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:47,863
The logic is that, by making myself
seem uninterested in sex,
532
00:49:48,076 --> 00:49:51,243
she'll be challenged.
It never worked.
533
00:49:51,454 --> 00:49:54,491
But that was no reason
to stop trying.
534
00:51:23,507 --> 00:51:27,801
For the first time in our relationship,
she took the initiative.
535
00:51:28,012 --> 00:51:31,428
Without warning,
the game had turned on the hunter.
536
00:51:31,641 --> 00:51:34,511
First thought: She was mistaking me
for someone else.
537
00:51:34,727 --> 00:51:37,432
Second thought: She'd started
drinking in the afternoons.
538
00:51:37,647 --> 00:51:40,683
Third and final thought:
She loved me.
539
00:51:40,900 --> 00:51:43,356
I missed the target,
but hit the tree.
540
00:52:37,500 --> 00:52:41,118
- Plastic flywheel!
- It's probably out of gas.
541
00:52:41,337 --> 00:52:45,121
- You're out of gas!
- You see this? Perch on it.
542
00:52:45,341 --> 00:52:50,928
I'm rubber, you're glue. Whatever you
say bounces off me and sticks to you.
543
00:52:51,139 --> 00:52:53,178
Stick this!
544
00:52:54,225 --> 00:52:57,392
- Up yours!
- Up yours, too!
545
00:53:10,867 --> 00:53:12,907
It's you and me.
546
00:53:14,288 --> 00:53:16,161
Ciao!
547
00:55:06,569 --> 00:55:08,811
Can I get anybody anything?
548
00:55:09,030 --> 00:55:12,695
Yeah. Dinner, missy. How about it?
Let's go.
549
00:55:42,481 --> 00:55:46,396
This is good, Jake.
You're quite a barbecue chef.
550
00:55:46,610 --> 00:55:48,817
What fascinates me
is how you got it
551
00:55:49,030 --> 00:55:53,775
blood raw on one side
and charred to a crisp on the other.
552
00:55:54,327 --> 00:55:57,577
- My steak's fine, Russ.
- Mine, too, darling.
553
00:55:57,789 --> 00:56:00,624
What is this?
What, is this dirt on here?
554
00:56:01,918 --> 00:56:04,835
- Did you say something, Jake?
- No.
555
00:56:05,630 --> 00:56:08,833
- Why do you complain about everything?
- I'm not.
556
00:56:09,050 --> 00:56:12,715
- You certainly are.
- You want to hear complaining?
557
00:56:12,929 --> 00:56:18,220
Missy, when are you going to get your
butt in gear and get me a grandchild?
558
00:56:18,435 --> 00:56:22,100
- I think it's time, too.
- At last we agree on something.
559
00:56:22,314 --> 00:56:26,976
Everything in due time. For cripe's
sake, they just moved into a home.
560
00:56:27,194 --> 00:56:30,278
Don't put pressure on pressure.
What's the rush?
561
00:56:30,489 --> 00:56:37,951
I'm with you. I almost lost Kristy in
delivery. If she waits, it's fine with me.
562
00:56:38,330 --> 00:56:41,949
I just think it's odd
that they've been married four years
563
00:56:42,167 --> 00:56:44,326
and they don't even talk about kids.
564
00:56:44,545 --> 00:56:49,456
It was a breech. The women
in my family have such small hips.
565
00:56:49,675 --> 00:56:52,712
It was painful and it was terrifying.
566
00:56:52,929 --> 00:56:58,765
You're all right now, so why dwell
on it, in the sweet name of Christ?
567
00:56:58,976 --> 00:57:03,188
- You didn't know until it was over.
- How could I? I was playing golf.
568
00:57:03,815 --> 00:57:06,769
Darling,
you would have divine babies.
569
00:57:06,985 --> 00:57:11,979
- Aren't you thinking about it?
- Mom, that's a personal matter.
570
00:57:13,366 --> 00:57:17,281
Well, it's a family matter.
We're just curious.
571
00:57:18,163 --> 00:57:20,286
Well, what's the deal?
572
00:57:20,498 --> 00:57:24,995
They'll have kids when they have kids.
Maybe they're not ready.
573
00:57:25,212 --> 00:57:28,462
Are they going to be swingers
the rest of their lives?
574
00:57:28,674 --> 00:57:31,295
Did your parents goad you
into having kids?
575
00:57:31,510 --> 00:57:35,590
There was no time to goad me.
No, I had my kids right away.
576
00:57:35,806 --> 00:57:40,100
Down at my company,
everybody my age or around my age
577
00:57:40,310 --> 00:57:43,762
has a picture on their desk
of a grandchild.
578
00:57:43,981 --> 00:57:47,065
I have a picture on my desk of her.
579
00:57:47,276 --> 00:57:51,523
What I want to have on my desk
is a picture of a grandchild.
580
00:57:52,156 --> 00:57:57,910
Who wouldn't? But this is one thing
we're going to have to have patience on.
581
00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:01,406
I'll be retired
before they get round to it.
582
00:58:01,624 --> 00:58:04,708
Then there won't be any desk
to put a picture on.
583
00:58:08,673 --> 00:58:12,587
- Are you mad?
- No.
584
00:58:12,802 --> 00:58:14,961
Would you rather not talk?
585
00:58:22,187 --> 00:58:25,852
I'm fine.
What do you want to talk about?
586
00:58:26,066 --> 00:58:29,067
- You know.
- Kids?
587
00:58:29,528 --> 00:58:32,019
- You want kids?
- Don't you?
588
00:58:32,239 --> 00:58:35,359
- It's irreversible.
- So?
589
00:58:36,493 --> 00:58:41,286
I'm not in the mood for irreversible
action. Let's go to sleep.
590
00:58:41,498 --> 00:58:46,244
Having our parents
has distorted everything.
591
00:58:52,009 --> 00:58:54,465
It's not a good time to talk serious.
592
00:58:56,722 --> 00:58:58,762
Go to sleep.
593
00:59:07,525 --> 00:59:11,819
If I tell you something,
will you promise not to get mad?
594
00:59:14,532 --> 00:59:16,739
What is it?
595
00:59:17,744 --> 00:59:20,317
Promise you won't get mad?
596
00:59:20,538 --> 00:59:24,073
- Tell me what it is.
- Promise you won't get mad.
597
00:59:25,251 --> 00:59:27,921
OK, I promise I won't get mad.
598
00:59:32,551 --> 00:59:36,086
I stopped taking the pill
three months ago.
599
01:00:01,288 --> 01:00:02,913
Keep smiling, Briggsie.
600
01:00:04,208 --> 01:00:08,787
- Can you hold the baby up higher?
- He's got a nosebleed already.
601
01:00:09,005 --> 01:00:12,172
Howard, this is the stupidest thing
I've ever done.
602
01:00:12,383 --> 01:00:15,799
Don't retire the trophy.
Your career is just starting.
603
01:00:16,012 --> 01:00:18,051
Some old shit is retiring,
604
01:00:18,264 --> 01:00:22,096
so I have to have my picture taken
with somebody's baby.
605
01:00:22,310 --> 01:00:25,845
Everybody on the account is doing it.
You're nothing special.
606
01:00:26,064 --> 01:00:29,100
Do they hire us
to write ads or play the clown?
607
01:00:29,317 --> 01:00:32,271
- Both.
- I hate this. Hate this.
608
01:00:32,487 --> 01:00:35,821
You can relax.
I've got to reset the lights.
609
01:00:38,577 --> 01:00:42,112
- This is ridiculous.
- Your wife sees these pictures,
610
01:00:42,331 --> 01:00:46,411
- she'll beg you for offspring.
- How have you held out so long?
611
01:00:46,627 --> 01:00:50,459
My reproductive life is none
of your business. Where's the mother?
612
01:00:50,672 --> 01:00:55,418
- I don't know. Around here somewhere.
- Thanks, guys. Come on.
613
01:01:01,851 --> 01:01:03,890
Whoops!
Sorry.
614
01:01:04,979 --> 01:01:08,146
Whoops! Sorry.
Shall we dance?
615
01:01:08,357 --> 01:01:10,397
Give me a break.
616
01:01:18,576 --> 01:01:20,616
- Is this yours?
- No.
617
01:03:12,401 --> 01:03:14,441
My fault.
618
01:03:23,037 --> 01:03:25,077
It was her,
in her underwear.
619
01:03:25,289 --> 01:03:29,786
There had to be a reason
why I was seeing her again.
620
01:03:51,817 --> 01:03:54,308
Whoa!
Hey, wait a minute.
621
01:03:55,487 --> 01:03:58,239
I don't want to do this all day long.
622
01:03:58,448 --> 01:04:00,690
I cannot work like this!
623
01:04:26,185 --> 01:04:28,225
You're married.
624
01:04:31,274 --> 01:04:33,313
The ring.
625
01:04:34,110 --> 01:04:35,984
Yeah, I am.
626
01:04:37,071 --> 01:04:40,441
- It's OK. I'm married, too.
- Really?
627
01:04:41,076 --> 01:04:44,030
I was too young.
He was too young.
628
01:04:45,538 --> 01:04:48,623
- I got married young, too.
- Really?
629
01:04:51,044 --> 01:04:54,330
- Are you still in love with her?
- Yes.
630
01:04:55,924 --> 01:04:59,708
- Yes. Absolutely.
- Absolutely?
631
01:05:02,014 --> 01:05:06,261
If you're still in love with her,
how come you're here with me?
632
01:05:16,153 --> 01:05:20,483
- It's OK. You're nervous.
- Nervous? I'm not nervous.
633
01:05:20,700 --> 01:05:22,739
Oh, come on.
634
01:05:25,788 --> 01:05:27,615
Hey!
635
01:05:29,542 --> 01:05:34,500
- Why do you think I'm nervous?
- Because you don't know what you want.
636
01:08:48,204 --> 01:08:50,244
You're home late.
637
01:08:55,670 --> 01:08:59,039
- You scared me.
- I'm sorry. Did you eat?
638
01:08:59,257 --> 01:09:03,421
- I got something down town.
- I went back to the doctor today.
639
01:09:03,637 --> 01:09:06,756
- Everything OK?
- My tests are all in.
640
01:09:06,973 --> 01:09:09,678
- Yeah?
- It's not me. I'm fine.
641
01:09:11,228 --> 01:09:14,478
- What does that mean?
- It means I'm OK.
642
01:09:15,941 --> 01:09:18,895
Obviously not,
if you can't get pregnant.
643
01:09:19,361 --> 01:09:23,489
- I can get pregnant.
- Then why aren't you pregnant?
644
01:09:23,699 --> 01:09:26,486
Because you
can't get me pregnant.
645
01:09:33,125 --> 01:09:36,743
- You believe that?
- It's nothing to be ashamed of.
646
01:09:36,962 --> 01:09:38,836
Who's ashamed?
647
01:09:39,048 --> 01:09:41,539
My mother said
my father was the same.
648
01:09:41,759 --> 01:09:44,926
Your mother?
You told your mother about this?
649
01:09:45,138 --> 01:09:49,052
Did anybody not hear about it?
Was it on the news?
650
01:09:49,267 --> 01:09:54,012
Let's invite your parents over and put
some chairs at the end of the bed.
651
01:09:54,230 --> 01:09:56,270
A little home instruction.
652
01:09:56,482 --> 01:10:01,275
- Get your butt a little higher, Jake.
- Russ, he knows what he's doing.
653
01:10:01,488 --> 01:10:05,817
If he knew what he was doing,
we'd be grandparents by now.
654
01:10:06,034 --> 01:10:11,194
I'm sure he'd have pointers for me.
You told your mother? Jesus!
655
01:10:17,879 --> 01:10:22,874
- It could be a very simple problem.
- What problem? There is no problem.
656
01:10:23,093 --> 01:10:27,257
Compared to what I had to go through,
your test is easy.
657
01:10:28,432 --> 01:10:30,472
What's the big deal?
658
01:10:30,684 --> 01:10:34,385
- Would you like to have to do that?
- I'd help.
659
01:10:34,605 --> 01:10:37,143
Very funny.
Well, I'm sorry, babe.
660
01:10:37,358 --> 01:10:41,190
If you're fine and I'm not,
there's nothing I can do.
661
01:10:41,404 --> 01:10:45,484
- I'm sorry. I feel bad, but...
- Problems can be treated.
662
01:10:45,700 --> 01:10:49,614
Surgery? That's exactly
where I'd like to have surgery.
663
01:10:49,829 --> 01:10:53,661
I'd like men poking around
with scalpels at my groin.
664
01:10:53,875 --> 01:10:57,125
No, no, no.
Nobody is touching my balls.
665
01:10:59,923 --> 01:11:03,339
Maybe this is not really
the place to discuss this.
666
01:11:03,551 --> 01:11:06,007
- Why are you being a baby?
- I'm not.
667
01:11:06,221 --> 01:11:08,926
You are.
You know how many men do this?
668
01:11:09,140 --> 01:11:12,307
Whatever number minus one.
I'm not doing it.
669
01:11:12,519 --> 01:11:17,015
I knew you'd be a baby, so I called
Dr Stanky and asked what's involved.
670
01:11:17,232 --> 01:11:19,355
You called Dr Stanky?
671
01:11:28,160 --> 01:11:32,869
- OK, what's involved?
- A couple of minutes and a plastic cup.
672
01:11:36,085 --> 01:11:39,584
It's all very discreet
and professional.
673
01:12:01,569 --> 01:12:05,649
- Hi, can I help you?
- Yeah, yeah. Jefferson Briggs.
674
01:12:09,077 --> 01:12:13,988
Well, I have my sp...
my... my...
675
01:12:14,207 --> 01:12:16,247
- My...
- Sample?
676
01:12:16,459 --> 01:12:18,499
Yeah, sample.
Yeah.
677
01:12:20,380 --> 01:12:23,298
- There you go. OK.
- Thank you.
678
01:12:25,010 --> 01:12:27,927
I'm sorry.
Are you sure there's any in here?
679
01:12:58,294 --> 01:13:02,208
My inability to impregnate Kristy
was blamed on tight shorts,
680
01:13:02,423 --> 01:13:04,879
something to do
with my body temperature.
681
01:13:05,093 --> 01:13:09,671
It seemed rather flimsy. To go
through the hell of a fertility check
682
01:13:09,889 --> 01:13:13,223
and discover that my undergarment
preference was to blame
683
01:13:13,435 --> 01:13:18,144
seemed as silly and pointless
as everything else about my life.
684
01:13:19,107 --> 01:13:20,981
Jake!
685
01:13:23,779 --> 01:13:29,615
Jakey! My temperature's just right.
It's the perfect time. Where are you?
686
01:13:31,828 --> 01:13:33,738
Can you hurry?
687
01:13:33,956 --> 01:13:37,823
Hiding from my wife,
hiding from my manly obligation,
688
01:13:38,043 --> 01:13:41,128
our love nest
had become a stud farm.
689
01:13:44,049 --> 01:13:49,008
Jakey, my temperature's just right.
Where are you? Hurry, hurry!
690
01:13:53,059 --> 01:13:56,309
Jefferson Edward Briggs!
691
01:13:57,939 --> 01:13:59,978
Hi, babe.
692
01:14:02,360 --> 01:14:04,981
Were you working
on the water heater?
693
01:14:05,196 --> 01:14:09,443
Sorry, but it's 48 hours
since our last coition, I'm ovulating,
694
01:14:09,659 --> 01:14:13,871
I have the pillows set up
so that my cervix is placed better
695
01:14:14,080 --> 01:14:16,618
in the intervaginal seminal pool.
696
01:14:16,833 --> 01:14:19,502
You can watch TV if you get bored.
697
01:14:19,919 --> 01:14:22,920
Here's to successful fertilisation,
sweetie!
698
01:15:29,139 --> 01:15:31,179
My father died.
699
01:16:02,549 --> 01:16:04,588
Come on in.
700
01:16:04,801 --> 01:16:09,344
Oh, Davis,
I feel so bad about what's happened.
701
01:16:09,556 --> 01:16:13,885
I don't know what to say. I've never
had anyone close to me die.
702
01:16:14,352 --> 01:16:17,804
- You can tell me anything.
- We miss you. How's that?
703
01:16:18,023 --> 01:16:20,063
We?
704
01:16:21,485 --> 01:16:23,774
- Jake and I.
- Jake and who?
705
01:16:24,738 --> 01:16:27,490
- Me.
- You miss me?
706
01:16:27,700 --> 01:16:30,617
- Yeah.
- Why?
707
01:16:30,828 --> 01:16:35,122
Why? Because we've
been friends for years.
708
01:16:35,666 --> 01:16:39,249
- Is that all?
- Friendship isn't enough?
709
01:16:39,462 --> 01:16:41,620
Sometimes.
710
01:16:44,175 --> 01:16:45,503
Sometimes not.
711
01:16:48,679 --> 01:16:53,341
Jake told me
that you want to have a baby.
712
01:17:00,316 --> 01:17:02,356
Why?
713
01:17:05,488 --> 01:17:07,730
Because I'm...
714
01:17:09,451 --> 01:17:13,449
...ready.
- How do you know when you're ready?
715
01:17:13,663 --> 01:17:16,664
- You feel it.
- Is Jake ready?
716
01:17:16,875 --> 01:17:19,331
Yeah, I think he is.
He says he is.
717
01:17:19,544 --> 01:17:24,206
- How does he know?
- I don't know. Maybe he feels it.
718
01:17:25,300 --> 01:17:28,586
- Maybe not.
- What are you trying to say?
719
01:17:29,221 --> 01:17:31,463
- Nothing.
- Nothing?
720
01:17:32,891 --> 01:17:35,561
- Nothing.
- OK.
721
01:17:39,440 --> 01:17:41,479
Sleep well.
722
01:17:44,362 --> 01:17:46,401
I won't.
723
01:17:50,952 --> 01:17:53,359
Davis, what do you want from me?
724
01:17:53,579 --> 01:17:56,249
I want you to kiss me goodnight.
725
01:17:57,333 --> 01:18:01,794
- It was stupid. I'm sorry.
- I've heard some bad come-on lines.
726
01:18:02,005 --> 01:18:04,543
You think I'm scum, don't you?
727
01:18:05,425 --> 01:18:07,916
Because I stayed here
with that slut.
728
01:18:08,136 --> 01:18:10,175
Let me tell you something.
729
01:18:12,807 --> 01:18:16,757
I envy Jake. I always have.
730
01:18:19,481 --> 01:18:22,352
It was difficult for me
when you got married.
731
01:18:23,318 --> 01:18:25,441
You're a liar.
732
01:18:25,654 --> 01:18:28,821
I just wanted you
to kiss me goodnight.
733
01:18:31,785 --> 01:18:35,403
So that, in some microscopic way...
734
01:18:39,668 --> 01:18:42,338
...I know that you care about me.
735
01:18:57,895 --> 01:18:59,935
I do care.
736
01:19:00,690 --> 01:19:02,729
I always have.
737
01:19:11,326 --> 01:19:13,817
Not in this lifetime, Davis.
738
01:19:15,830 --> 01:19:18,072
Why not?
739
01:19:18,291 --> 01:19:20,580
You have to ask?
740
01:19:22,546 --> 01:19:24,834
You really love him.
741
01:19:26,258 --> 01:19:28,464
With everything I am.
742
01:19:29,761 --> 01:19:32,431
Nothing will change that.
743
01:19:33,307 --> 01:19:39,012
Not your hands on my body, your looks,
your money or your charm. Nothing.
744
01:19:41,398 --> 01:19:44,269
Why does it have to be about love?
745
01:19:44,485 --> 01:19:47,735
Aren't you the least bit curious?
746
01:19:47,947 --> 01:19:53,072
- Didn't you ever steal candy as a kid?
- I'm not a kid any more.
747
01:19:53,285 --> 01:19:55,741
- You got cold, huh?
- I didn't.
748
01:19:55,955 --> 01:19:59,122
I found out something
you're not even close to.
749
01:19:59,333 --> 01:20:02,952
- Educate me.
- You've got to figure it out yourself.
750
01:20:03,171 --> 01:20:06,255
You've got to feel it
in your own skin.
751
01:20:06,549 --> 01:20:10,001
I won't tell Jake about this.
It isn't fatal.
752
01:20:10,219 --> 01:20:12,675
You have your good points.
753
01:20:15,475 --> 01:20:18,559
- You're the only one I ever loved.
- No, Davis.
754
01:20:18,770 --> 01:20:21,641
You're the only one you ever loved.
755
01:20:51,887 --> 01:20:55,221
- Jake? Mrs Briggs called.
- My mother called?
756
01:20:55,808 --> 01:20:59,509
- Your wife. She's down town.
- What's she doing down town?
757
01:20:59,729 --> 01:21:03,394
I don't know. She said
she wanted to meet you after work.
758
01:21:03,608 --> 01:21:08,186
- And it was important.
- Did she say what was important?
759
01:21:08,404 --> 01:21:14,158
No. She said you should meet her at
5.00 at the Museum of Natural History.
760
01:21:16,287 --> 01:21:20,617
If you're still in love with her,
how come you're here with me?
761
01:21:30,343 --> 01:21:32,716
Dillon, Carson & Reid?
762
01:21:34,681 --> 01:21:36,590
Hi.
763
01:21:36,808 --> 01:21:41,885
What are you calling now for?
I told you never to call me at work.
764
01:21:42,105 --> 01:21:46,317
Yeah. OK. I'll talk to you later.
I love you.
765
01:22:19,686 --> 01:22:21,725
Jake...
766
01:22:26,818 --> 01:22:29,689
We're going to have a baby.
767
01:22:32,991 --> 01:22:37,902
I found out this morning.
I didn't want to tell you on the phone.
768
01:22:40,207 --> 01:22:42,449
How do you feel?
769
01:22:50,884 --> 01:22:53,969
Are you as happy as I am?
770
01:22:58,684 --> 01:23:01,804
I think so. Yeah.
771
01:23:04,648 --> 01:23:07,222
Yeah.
772
01:23:15,535 --> 01:23:17,693
We're blessed.
773
01:25:31,007 --> 01:25:34,341
I'd stumbled into a marriage,
drifted into a career
774
01:25:34,552 --> 01:25:37,921
and backed into fatherhood.
It was too easy.
775
01:25:38,139 --> 01:25:41,758
I couldn't convince myself
everything was all right.
776
01:25:41,977 --> 01:25:45,926
There was something out there,
circling my happy home,
777
01:25:46,147 --> 01:25:50,359
watching me, stalking me,
waiting to strike.
778
01:26:10,965 --> 01:26:13,004
Jake!
779
01:26:13,217 --> 01:26:15,257
Yeah?
780
01:26:16,053 --> 01:26:18,093
Jake!
781
01:26:18,806 --> 01:26:20,763
I'm working.
782
01:26:20,975 --> 01:26:23,548
Jake, honey, it's time.
783
01:26:23,769 --> 01:26:25,809
Time for what?
784
01:27:51,985 --> 01:27:55,436
Sorry, sorry. I'm really sorry.
Are you OK?
785
01:27:55,655 --> 01:27:58,063
Fine.
I'm glad you came back.
786
01:27:58,283 --> 01:28:00,988
Yeah. How do you feel?
All right?
787
01:28:01,203 --> 01:28:03,776
- I feel fine.
- OK. Take it slow.
788
01:28:03,997 --> 01:28:05,871
I don't want you to rush.
OK.
789
01:28:07,543 --> 01:28:09,784
Just sit down. Are you all right?
Are you OK?
790
01:29:00,597 --> 01:29:04,180
In through the nose...
And out through the mouth...
791
01:29:04,393 --> 01:29:06,931
Kris, you're not breathing.
In through the nose...
792
01:29:07,145 --> 01:29:10,764
- Out through the mouth.
- Oh, babe, are you OK?
793
01:29:10,983 --> 01:29:15,194
Fine, fine. In through the nose...
Out through the mouth.
794
01:29:17,114 --> 01:29:20,530
You OK? Remember everything
we learnt in class?
795
01:29:20,743 --> 01:29:24,443
Got your focal point? You got it?
Where is it?
796
01:29:25,998 --> 01:29:30,126
Bureau? That's too big.
Get something more focal.
797
01:29:31,462 --> 01:29:35,211
What? Bunnies? OK, concentrate
on that and not the pain.
798
01:29:35,424 --> 01:29:38,959
Pretend that there is no pain.
But I'm right here.
799
01:29:39,178 --> 01:29:42,013
- Babe, it's started.
- It's started?
800
01:29:42,223 --> 01:29:44,975
- It's started!
- Why didn't you say?
801
01:29:45,184 --> 01:29:49,016
What is it? About 10 seconds
it's been? Less? More?
802
01:29:49,814 --> 01:29:55,319
What, less? I don't understand.
We'll call it 20. We'll call it 25, OK?
803
01:29:56,071 --> 01:29:58,858
I don't understand. What is this?
What?
804
01:29:59,074 --> 01:30:02,158
Oh, I'm in the...
Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.
805
01:30:03,537 --> 01:30:06,491
- Oh, shit!
- Look at it. Look at the bunnies.
806
01:30:07,708 --> 01:30:09,534
Breathe...
807
01:30:09,751 --> 01:30:11,709
OK, breathe.
808
01:30:23,015 --> 01:30:25,173
That's it?
809
01:30:30,648 --> 01:30:32,391
Whoa!
810
01:30:36,028 --> 01:30:38,436
You OK? All right?
811
01:30:39,156 --> 01:30:44,032
You did good. I think we should work
out some kind of signal
812
01:30:44,245 --> 01:30:47,412
when the contractions start
because I didn't know.
813
01:30:47,623 --> 01:30:52,120
So if you could grab my arm.
Yes, grab my arm when it starts.
814
01:30:52,337 --> 01:30:56,714
Just... That's it? It started again?
Already? So soon?
815
01:30:57,509 --> 01:31:00,545
- Oh, God!
- Nurse!
816
01:31:03,932 --> 01:31:08,261
- Do I come?
- No, wait here. I'll be right back.
817
01:31:08,478 --> 01:31:10,387
OK, OK.
818
01:31:10,605 --> 01:31:12,728
Oh, I hold these? OK.
819
01:31:12,941 --> 01:31:14,898
OK, babe, see you.
820
01:31:16,528 --> 01:31:19,613
Remember your breathing.
Just relax, now.
821
01:31:32,753 --> 01:31:38,874
OK, Kristy, we're going
to move you over. Over here, hon.
822
01:31:41,345 --> 01:31:43,919
Nice and easy. That's it.
823
01:32:01,157 --> 01:32:03,197
Look at this one.
824
01:32:06,705 --> 01:32:11,248
- Don't touch that.
- Oh, sorry. My fault. Sorry.
825
01:32:11,460 --> 01:32:14,544
OK, Kristy, control your breathing,
all right?
826
01:32:14,755 --> 01:32:19,713
When you feel a contraction,
take a deep breath and hold it for ten.
827
01:32:19,927 --> 01:32:24,387
You feel the contraction?
Deep breath in and hold it for ten.
828
01:32:24,598 --> 01:32:28,726
One, two, three, four, five,
829
01:32:28,936 --> 01:32:33,313
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
830
01:32:33,524 --> 01:32:35,563
OK, blow it out.
831
01:32:35,776 --> 01:32:39,276
Take another deep breath
and hold it for ten again.
832
01:32:39,488 --> 01:32:41,695
Ready? Good.
One, two...
833
01:32:48,664 --> 01:32:52,876
Oh, hi.
I was just watching.
834
01:32:53,086 --> 01:32:55,125
- Here we go.
- Put these on.
835
01:32:55,338 --> 01:32:58,292
- Is this my size?
- They're one-size-fits-all.
836
01:32:58,508 --> 01:33:01,129
OK, what is this...
837
01:33:01,344 --> 01:33:04,179
Get these on, come back to me
and I'll take you in.
838
01:33:04,389 --> 01:33:06,428
OK, great.
839
01:33:09,019 --> 01:33:12,803
Mr Briggs, that goes on
over your clothes.
840
01:33:13,023 --> 01:33:15,514
Oh, yeah. Of course.
I'm sorry.
841
01:33:18,820 --> 01:33:21,572
- Where's my husband?
- He'll be here soon.
842
01:33:21,782 --> 01:33:23,821
Oh, God!
843
01:33:28,163 --> 01:33:29,492
Jake!
844
01:33:29,706 --> 01:33:32,873
- Did I do this right?
- It looks OK to me.
845
01:33:33,085 --> 01:33:35,327
- We're going to the delivery room?
- Yes.
846
01:33:35,546 --> 01:33:38,500
- I feel charged. I'm ready.
- You'll be fine.
847
01:33:38,716 --> 01:33:41,385
- I thought I'd be nervous, but...
- This way.
848
01:33:42,636 --> 01:33:44,712
- This is great. Right in here?
- Yes.
849
01:33:48,392 --> 01:33:50,432
Wait here. I'll be right back.
850
01:33:54,190 --> 01:33:57,641
- Get him out of here.
- Kristy, listen to me...
851
01:33:57,860 --> 01:34:01,810
Mr Briggs, you have to wait outside.
There's a complication.
852
01:34:02,031 --> 01:34:05,483
Mr Briggs, please!
You have to wait outside.
853
01:34:05,702 --> 01:34:08,371
- That's my wife!
- I know it is.
854
01:34:08,580 --> 01:34:10,786
Just tell me what's going on.
855
01:34:11,416 --> 01:34:13,622
Just tell me what's going on!
856
01:34:13,835 --> 01:34:19,624
Calm down. I'll go and find out and
I'll come back for you. You stay here!
857
01:34:30,644 --> 01:34:33,135
Kristy, listen to me right now.
858
01:34:33,355 --> 01:34:35,811
- Listen to me.
- I want to get it out.
859
01:34:36,025 --> 01:34:38,776
- Stop pushing.
- I've got to get it out!
860
01:34:38,986 --> 01:34:42,604
Listen to me. Stop pushing
with your contractions.
861
01:34:42,823 --> 01:34:46,691
- You're not doing yourself any good.
- I've got to get it out!
862
01:34:50,539 --> 01:34:52,579
Oh, God!
863
01:35:07,307 --> 01:35:11,885
Mr Briggs,
the baby is in a breech presentation.
864
01:35:13,563 --> 01:35:17,062
- It's coming out backwards.
- What does it mean?
865
01:35:18,485 --> 01:35:20,524
The baby's head is caught.
866
01:35:21,112 --> 01:35:25,905
It's too early to tell,
but we're doing everything we can.
867
01:39:38,585 --> 01:39:40,625
Hi, sweetie.
868
01:39:53,100 --> 01:39:55,673
I didn't want anybody else
to tell you.
869
01:39:59,315 --> 01:40:01,640
Babe, it's a boy.
870
01:40:07,573 --> 01:40:09,613
What?
871
01:40:09,825 --> 01:40:12,233
We have a boy.
872
01:40:19,502 --> 01:40:21,874
He's OK?
873
01:40:40,649 --> 01:40:42,725
I love you.
874
01:40:52,953 --> 01:40:57,662
And, in the end, I realised
that I took more than I gave.
875
01:40:58,709 --> 01:41:01,626
I was trusted
more than I trusted.
876
01:41:02,296 --> 01:41:05,712
And I was loved more than I loved.
877
01:41:05,925 --> 01:41:11,595
And what I was looking for
was not to be found, but to be made.
878
01:42:02,149 --> 01:42:06,194
How about a nice, simple name?
Larry? Bob?
879
01:42:07,363 --> 01:42:11,028
If it's a boy, name it after me.
Russell.
880
01:42:11,242 --> 01:42:14,445
Jefferson junior... George...
Arnold...
881
01:42:14,662 --> 01:42:17,532
Caleb... lan...
Mark... Marmaduke...
882
01:42:17,748 --> 01:42:19,990
Otto.
There aren't enough Ottos around.
883
01:42:20,209 --> 01:42:23,792
Douglas... Reginald...
Igor... Hyman...
884
01:42:24,005 --> 01:42:28,133
Schwok. That's good. I don't know
what it is. I heard it on a bus.
885
01:42:28,342 --> 01:42:30,750
David... Alfred... Irwin...
886
01:42:30,970 --> 01:42:33,010
Melonhead, or Lizard.
887
01:42:33,222 --> 01:42:35,796
Huey... Basil...
Roland...
888
01:42:36,017 --> 01:42:40,062
Hmm, names for a boy. Well, my wife's
always been partial to Bor-bor.
889
01:42:40,271 --> 01:42:42,644
Jason... Jerome... Vladimir...
890
01:42:42,857 --> 01:42:44,138
Maximillian, thanks a million.
891
01:42:44,359 --> 01:42:46,980
Nicholas... Abner...
Johann... Michael...
892
01:42:47,195 --> 01:42:51,193
Cryoborg, Gandor, Klaus, Valdor,
893
01:42:51,408 --> 01:42:53,780
Slagathor... Slaggy for short.
894
01:42:53,994 --> 01:42:56,033
Rudolph... Peter... Ashley...
895
01:42:56,246 --> 01:43:02,996
And I've liked for years Quig, Bligh,
Nargalzius, Rolo and Vordergan.
896
01:43:03,212 --> 01:43:06,912
Jean-Marc... Mohammed... Melvin...
Milton... Duane... Klaus...
897
01:43:07,132 --> 01:43:11,960
Toby? Kind of a sissy.
But, OK, could be a priest.
898
01:43:12,179 --> 01:43:16,391
Blind Boy Grunt... Jasper...
Opie... Walter...
899
01:43:16,600 --> 01:43:18,723
If you want to torment him,
call him Cecil.
900
01:43:18,936 --> 01:43:21,308
Charlie... Terrence...
901
01:43:21,522 --> 01:43:23,147
Charlie the first...
902
01:43:23,357 --> 01:43:26,358
George... Harry... Jeffery...
Reuben...
903
01:43:26,569 --> 01:43:30,234
Or you could go silly
and call him Skippy.
904
01:43:30,865 --> 01:43:33,901
Wheeler... Jim... Winthrop...
905
01:43:34,118 --> 01:43:35,826
Barney is a good name.
906
01:43:36,037 --> 01:43:38,279
Grover... Alvin... Elliot...
907
01:43:38,498 --> 01:43:40,870
Linus... Roscoe... Kerwin...
908
01:43:41,084 --> 01:43:43,123
Kyoshi Yamamoto...
Patrick...
909
01:43:43,336 --> 01:43:45,827
How about Little Suck?
Dashiel... Fred...
910
01:43:46,047 --> 01:43:49,879
Orbie Lee... Jasper...
Jazz: J-A-Z-Z...
911
01:43:50,093 --> 01:43:51,552
Guido... Horatio...
912
01:43:51,761 --> 01:43:56,305
Baby Magic. Who wouldn't love that?
I would. What about you?
913
01:43:56,516 --> 01:43:58,805
Spike... Adolph... Chris...
914
01:43:59,019 --> 01:44:01,058
Mark...
915
01:44:01,271 --> 01:44:04,225
- Mucus.
- Mucus?
916
01:44:04,441 --> 01:44:07,015
- What was the question again?
- Conan.
917
01:44:08,737 --> 01:44:11,062
- What about Billy?
- I like Billy.
918
01:44:11,281 --> 01:44:13,654
Bunky... Buford... Brewster...
Bertolucci...
919
01:44:13,867 --> 01:44:16,952
Barney... Basil... Butch... Boris...
Beauregard...
920
01:44:17,162 --> 01:44:19,285
Bellawackadayforlonger-
amsterdamandashquinina.
921
01:44:19,498 --> 01:44:21,325
What's wrong with that?
922
01:44:21,542 --> 01:44:23,998
I don't know...
What's wrong with my name?
923
01:44:24,211 --> 01:44:26,916
- Did we say Christopher yet?
- Yeah.
924
01:44:27,131 --> 01:44:31,211
- I like Christopher.
- I don't know. Maybe.
70932
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