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The following programme contains
strong language and adult humour.
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'Rom and I are back.'
3
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:15,600
HONKS HORN
Yes!
4
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,000
Jesus.
5
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,320
'Bigger...'
6
00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:20,080
I'm, like, really struggling
to focus.
7
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'..Better...'
8
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'..And more tested than ever.'
9
00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:25,680
LAUGHS
10
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:28,080
'Together...'
I am your number one caddy.
11
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,920
'..We're on a journey of discovery.'
I should not have done this.
12
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,280
LAUGHS
13
00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:36,080
'To find out what we like...'
I feel great.
14
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:37,640
Is this sexy?
15
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'..And what we don't.'
16
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I'm going off golf.
Just talk less.
17
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,760
LAUGHS
Oh, my...
18
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:48,880
Yes!
19
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:50,920
'This week, it's golf.'
20
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,360
'It's Rob's new hobby
and my new nightmare.'
21
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:54,600
I like it.
22
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:56,320
'We'll meet top professionals...'
23
00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:58,320
Oh. I think that's better
than yours, innit?
24
00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,320
'..And learn how to play.'
What am I gonna do?
25
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:03,200
'Before we each get to tee off
26
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:06,520
at the world-famous
BMW PGA Championship.'
27
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,680
♪ I can swallow a bottle of...
28
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:17,280
♪ And I'll feel like Godzilla
29
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:19,600
♪ Better hit the deck
Like the card dealer... ♪
30
00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:23,080
Right, Romesh.
This week we are doing golf.
31
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:26,080
So, over the last few months...
Yeah.
32
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:28,720
..I've noticed you've...
33
00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:32,440
You're transitioning
into golf wanker.
34
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,240
-Yes.
-Right?
Quite a strong, fast transition.
35
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:36,960
In your Insta story...
Yeah.
36
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:38,960
Classic Beckett behaviour this,
right,
37
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:40,480
which is where you get into
something,
38
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:43,280
and everybody that follows you
has to hear about it non stop.
39
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,080
Every Insta story.
It's even in the car.
40
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,480
You get in the car, do an Insta.
"Clubs in the back."
41
00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:49,920
"Beckett's off again."
42
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,960
You've become this kind of...
Golf guy.
43
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:52,960
How did it happen?
44
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,640
While that was quite pathetic
actually,
45
00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:55,640
the reason I did do that
46
00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:57,600
was trying to find other people
I could play with.
47
00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:00,600
So, what, you post stuff
about going to play golf,
48
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,760
and then a stranger who follows you
says, "Oh, I play golf as well."
49
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,160
And you, like a tragic little loser,
50
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,600
gets in the car, drives all the way
to the golf course,
51
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,440
to play with somebody
you've never met before.
52
00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:12,680
Is that the plan?
No.
53
00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:16,080
I only let people reply
that I already follow,
54
00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:17,440
so it'd be my friends.
55
00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:19,280
But they're not really your friends,
are they?
56
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,920
They are blue ticks on Instagram,
57
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:23,640
who you're trying to kind of
network with,
58
00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:26,800
in the hope that a footballer
or a boxer goes,
59
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,760
"Oh, Rob, I play golf as well,"
60
00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,000
and suddenly you text me going,
61
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,560
"I'm just hanging out on the course
with AJ," or whatever.
62
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,800
I mean, that is what you're trying
to do.
63
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,600
Well, I mean, there may be
an element of that.
64
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:37,600
LAUGHS
65
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,840
But, you know, sue me.
66
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,400
So.
Yeah.
67
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:45,120
Tell me why you like golf.
68
00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:49,920
It lasts four hours, minimum. OK?
OK. So does chess.
69
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:54,280
Yeah, I know, but, basically,
you can escape from your family.
70
00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:55,280
Right.
71
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:59,000
You can get away from your wife
and kids for four hours,
72
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,800
and you're doing "sport".
73
00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,440
You're not.
But you walk around for a bit,
74
00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:07,400
it's lovely fresh air,
and you go and get drunk after.
75
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,400
So, do you actually like the sport?
76
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:13,000
I mean, I like hitting balls
with a big stick.
77
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,000
Right, OK.
78
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,720
That's fun.
Yeah.
79
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:19,960
Basically, Romesh, what I want is
you to be into golf like me,
80
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,600
so that we can travel
round the world,
81
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,480
go to all these amazing golf courses
and have a right laugh.
82
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,480
It'd be amazing to travel
round the world with you.
83
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,280
Oh, no. That's right.
We're on series three.
84
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,000
LAUGHS
85
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,720
Oh, I've just finished work
for the year.
86
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:39,720
Where do you wanna go?
87
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,920
I tell you what, do you fancy
going away somewhere, Rom?
88
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:45,080
Cos it's for a sport.
For a sport!
89
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,800
Actually, Rob, the idea of
hanging out together
90
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,120
is absolutely the last thing
I possibly wanna do.
91
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,480
Well... That's a lie.
That's a lie, though, isn't it?
92
00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:56,360
Yeah. So your ideal,
the whole point of this mission,
93
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:59,240
is you want us to start playing golf
together regularly?
94
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,440
Yes!
95
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:06,880
'And there's no finer way
96
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,920
to introduce Romesh
to the world of golf
97
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,360
than by joining the professionals
at Wentworth
98
00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:15,360
for the run up to
the BMW PGA Championship.'
99
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:16,640
I am absolutely buzzing,
100
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,280
because the aim of this
is to get Romesh into golf.
101
00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:21,800
And how could you not want
a part of this?
102
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,040
'Rob had not only managed
to get us access
103
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,440
to one of golf's
most prestigious events,
104
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,760
but he'd also arranged for
a couple of pros
105
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,840
to put us through our paces
during their practise day.'
106
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:36,320
'But what Rob had failed to mention
was what we'd be doing.'
107
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:37,800
All right, lads?
108
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,360
LAUGHTER
109
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:43,200
We are here because Rob Beckett
and I have been given the honour,
110
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,320
the privilege,
111
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:48,720
of caddying for Marcus Armitage
and Andrew Beef Johnston.
112
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:52,240
Oh. You don't need all these clubs,
do you?
113
00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:53,240
LAUGHTER
114
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:54,440
Oh, dear.
115
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,560
Big Daddy caddy reporting for duty.
116
00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,840
Me and Beefy, Beefy and Beckett,
Beckett and Beef.
117
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,000
I'm the caddy.
118
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,640
And I'm prepared.
I've got it all, mate.
119
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:05,960
Lucozade, balls, tees, energy gels.
120
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,360
A notebook with all the yardage.
121
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,760
Do you know where the wind's going?
I'll find out.
122
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,680
That way.
123
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,800
Anything you need, I've got, Beef.
Congratulations, Beef.
124
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,160
I mean...
125
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,400
I think you've got yourself
a worldly caddy there, mate.
126
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,160
You've got yourself a king twat
there, mate.
127
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LAUGHTER
128
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:25,880
We're learning about the sport
129
00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:27,440
by immersing ourselves
in the culture.
130
00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,240
It's the best possible experience,
and I hope to God
131
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,040
that Rob doesn't take a massive shit
on it like he normally does.
132
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,080
You ready?
I'm ready, mate. Let's go.
133
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,680
OK. I'll pop that here.
Yeah.
134
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,480
So, I imagine...
What's that, first of all?
135
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,720
That's if you're slow,
I'm gonna smack you with it.
136
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,520
Fair enough.
I'll leave that in there.
137
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:47,000
Erm, so, driver, I imagine.
138
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,600
Driver.
OK, right. There you go.
139
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,640
That's it. Just give me the club
and just keep quiet.
140
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,880
There you go.
Do you want me to pop a tee in?
141
00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:56,320
I'd like a ball.
Sure. Good idea.
142
00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,120
OK.
Not that pocket.
143
00:05:58,120 --> 00:05:59,720
All right. OK. Which pocket?
144
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,880
Well, you're supposed to be
my caddy.
145
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,640
Yeah, I know, but...
OK, that is a good point.
146
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,200
Not that pocket.
No? OK.
147
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,320
In there. OK. Yeah. Right.
Yeah, cool. Anything I can do?
148
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:10,880
Would you like a Lucozade
before you hit it?
149
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,560
Are caddies supposed to be
this bum licky,
150
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,160
just out of interest?
Wait.
151
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:17,880
In case it rains.
And, erm, first things first.
152
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,760
What's that telling you, Rob?
153
00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:22,200
LAUGHTER
Nothing!
154
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:25,720
Er, that means...
155
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:27,600
That means the wind's going
that way,
156
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,280
so you don't even have to hit it
that hard.
157
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,680
Beefy, you happy with this?
No, not at all, mate.
158
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,400
Thanks.
Shocker.
159
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:36,760
Good luck.
160
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,960
'Now, the plan was for us to caddy
for Beef and Marcus
161
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,920
over a full round of golf.'
162
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:51,160
'But given that Rob and Beef
weren't exactly hitting it off...'
163
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,120
I think that was better than yours,
wasn't it?
164
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,000
Sorry, I probably shouldn't bring
-that up.
-No.
165
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,000
Great work.
166
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,240
'..That was starting to look
a little optimistic.'
167
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,320
It's a dangerous set of ingredients
this,
168
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,720
because we're caddying,
so you're not front and centre,
169
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:06,040
you're very much in the background.
170
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:08,840
The best caddies are the ones
that are barely noticed.
171
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:11,480
Energy pack? Whisky?
172
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,360
You're doing it again.
You're doing it again.
173
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:15,320
No?
You're doing it again.
174
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,400
Rob is not good at being
barely noticed.
175
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,680
What about a Brunch bar?
176
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,600
Oh, sorry.
177
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,160
-I mean, really?
-Sorry.
Really?
178
00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:27,400
I was in my...
Really?
179
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,120
And you've also got the added issue
180
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,520
that Rob thinks he knows everything
about golf.
181
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,240
Tell me where this putt's going?
Where am I gonna hit this one?
182
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:35,880
It's uphill,
so give it a bit of welly.
183
00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:37,560
Yeah.
184
00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:40,480
So you've got Rob already
wanting to be front and centre,
185
00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:42,120
and thinking he knows everything.
186
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,040
It's a powder keg of twattery.
187
00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:49,880
What are you eating?
188
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:52,480
The Brunch bar.
189
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,600
That was for me.
You didn't want it.
190
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,560
We've got 18 holes.
Yeah, he's right there.
191
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,240
So, he doesn't want it
on the first hole,
192
00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,960
so you assume
he's not going to have it at all
193
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,840
for the rest of the day?
You absolute twat.
194
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,880
'Whilst it may be true that
team Beefy and Becks
195
00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,720
still had a few teething issues...'
196
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,960
That was so good.
Don't give me one of them.
197
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:12,680
You told me to putt it over there,
mate.
198
00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:14,520
Well, it didn't go in
the way you did it.
199
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,240
'..Romesh's first trip
to the golf course
200
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:20,120
had unleashed
his long-hidden inner golfer.'
201
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,760
Do you know what I reckon?
I think...
202
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,320
Left edge and firm on that, I think.
Yeah? All right.
203
00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:26,600
Let's have it.
Good luck, mate.
204
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,280
Happy with the advice.
205
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,240
Yeah. He seems very happy, yeah.
206
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,040
Ooh.
207
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,320
GROANING
208
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:40,880
So close!
209
00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:43,080
Unlucky mate.
Yeah, lovely shot, buddy.
210
00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:47,880
Look at that.
It's all going well, innit?
211
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,920
Yeah, it's a great read, that.
I'd have been happy with that.
212
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:51,920
Of course you would.
213
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,160
Of course you would've been happy
-with that.
-Yeah?
214
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:55,320
He's a professional golfer.
215
00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,120
Of course you would've been happy
with that.
216
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,920
Yeah, I'm just trying to look
-on the positive a bit.
-Jesus.
217
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:06,760
'So with one hole down
and 17 left to go,
218
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,400
Romesh was clearly in his element.'
219
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,400
Now, Marcus,
if you don't mind me saying,
220
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:12,600
this kind of doesn't suit you,
221
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,760
cos you tend to veer off
to the right,
222
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,240
so just be mindful of that,
all right?
223
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,520
Yeah, yeah, so I'll just try
and hug that left side.
224
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:22,120
'But I was starting to think
caddying might not be for me.'
225
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,760
Beautiful.
226
00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:25,840
I'd just fuck it
right down the middle.
227
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,800
Where's the middle?
That's what I'm asking you.
228
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:28,800
Where is the middle?
229
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,280
I can't see the fairway.
Where is the middle?
230
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,160
That's fine.
You're winding him up now.
231
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:35,520
I would say it bends to the left.
232
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,280
It went bad.
Really bad.
233
00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:41,000
And I don't know what happened.
I think I just got carried away.
234
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,120
All I did was shout at him
what I had.
235
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,920
Who gives someone an energy gel
on hole one?
236
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,240
How tired is he?
237
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:51,000
Oh, Beef. You fucked it, mate.
Look.
238
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,160
You've had a nightmare.
239
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:56,240
As having a career as a caddy,
240
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:57,760
I'll go back to what my mum
always says.
241
00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,400
It's about working out
what you can't do,
242
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,200
just as much as what you can do.
243
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,760
So at least now I can go home
and go,
244
00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:06,400
"Do you know what?
I weren't born to be a caddy."
245
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,640
Yeah, they are... It is heavy.
You definitely need all these clubs?
246
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:13,280
Are you not allowed a trolley
to pull it on? Why not?
247
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,800
Cos you're not allowed.
248
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,160
Yeah, but I think as a caddy
249
00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:18,800
I'll have more energy
to focus on you,
250
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,200
if I didn't have to use
all my energy
251
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:21,800
carrying it round like a cart horse.
252
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:22,800
I think it's great.
253
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,240
I think after about
five or six holes
254
00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,200
if you're completely knackered,
you'll shut up.
255
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:30,000
I think my friendship with Beef
has been fractured.
256
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,720
Erm, I don't...
257
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,600
I think we'll be friends
off the course, not on the course.
258
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,480
I don't think I'm on speed dial
for a round.
259
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:40,040
I'm fucked. I'm going off golf.
Just talk less.
260
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,200
I'm going off golf.
You're still talking.
261
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,280
See? You can't even take that advice
immediately.
262
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:49,400
'Unfortunately, though,
the damage was done.'
263
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:53,040
I'm not being funny,
but we're playing so slow
264
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:55,360
we've got to let the group behind
come through now.
265
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:57,520
Does that normally happen
on the pro tour?
266
00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:58,960
Well, no, not really,
267
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:02,760
cos we don't really get caddies
-that talk as much as you.
-OK.
268
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,640
'And despite having only played
two holes...'
269
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,640
Ooh! I'll have a bit of that.
270
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,800
Let it roll. Let it roll.
Oh, is it gonna come back?
271
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,680
I think you said to hit it
down there.
272
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:13,880
Let it roll.
273
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,840
Yeah, it sort of rolled
the wrong way, innit?
274
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:19,840
'..Beef and Marcus decided
that was more than enough.'
275
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:23,160
Oh! Very good.
I thought that were missing.
276
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,480
You see what happens
when you've got a good caddy?
277
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:26,480
It saves you shots.
278
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:29,640
Well done, mate. Well done.
Great work.
279
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,840
Awesome caddying.
Thanks. No problem, mate.
280
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:34,880
I'm really sorry.
281
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,200
Look, we've held up
the entire course.
282
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,200
Sorry.
283
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:41,960
-We've lost.
-Apart from that, though,
how do you think the day's gone?
284
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,120
Sack of shit, mate.
Awful marriage.
285
00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:48,200
How do you think that went?
286
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:51,600
Well, I don't know what the hell
-you were doing.
-Hm.
287
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,440
Because all the stuff you had
-on you, that was great.
-Yeah.
288
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,160
Super prepared, you know the sport.
289
00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:59,480
And then you just allowed
your personality
290
00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:01,240
to completely undermine all of that.
291
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,400
I know.
I don't know what got into me.
292
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,920
Nothing got into you.
It was just you. It's Rob Beckett.
293
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:07,840
Am I like that? Is that me?
Nothing got into you.
294
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,520
That was you being keen.
295
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,440
I think... I just think also
as well,
296
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,320
ultimately caddying's not for me.
297
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:14,680
So when you're not suited...
298
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:17,520
You know, I don't ever want to be,
-like, the backing singer.
-No.
299
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,080
I do think, though,
he did have a bad round.
300
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,640
It weren't all me,
you know what I mean?
301
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:23,960
No, he had a bad round,
302
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,200
and a lot of the reason
he was having a bad round
303
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,960
was because of you.
Yeah.
304
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,840
Right, let's go.
Back to the club house, yeah?
305
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:31,720
All right. Why don't we just, like,
have a...
306
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:32,960
We don't have to...
307
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,680
Sorry.
Fucking hell.
308
00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,880
Sorry. Someone left it in...
309
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,640
Jesus!
310
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:45,360
Can I go?
Yeah, just go. Just go.
311
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,360
And don't talk.
We can have a quiet one.
312
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:50,000
Do you think you drive on the left?
-Shut up.
-Sorry.
313
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:53,040
I don't know if it's a real road.
-Rob, shh, please.
-Sorry.
314
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:09,080
'This week, I'm introducing Romesh
to the world of golf.'
315
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,400
All right, lads?
All right.
316
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,920
You don't need all these clubs,
do you?
317
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:17,280
'And after rubbing shoulders with
the professionals at Wentworth...'
318
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:19,080
I'd just fuck it
right down the middle.
319
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,480
'..It was time for Romesh
to step up to the tee.'
320
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,880
'And I knew just the place
to do it.'
321
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,520
'The legendary St Andrews
in Scotland.'
322
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,920
'Nestled high amongst the clifftops,
St Andrews is regarded as
323
00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,400
one of the finest golf courses
in the world,
324
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:40,400
making it the perfect place
for Romesh's golfing debut.'
325
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,080
'And to make it
that extra bit special,
326
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,720
we'll be taking the scenic route
to get there,
327
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,440
via a 500-mile, nine-hour
road trip.'
328
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,680
'Meaning Rom and I can spend
some quality time together.'
329
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,040
Ah, bonny Scotland!
330
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,480
Just getting ready
-before we cross the border.
-Mm-hm.
331
00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:03,600
Here we are in bonny Scotland, eh?
332
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,720
Hey, wee man, do you want to go for
a dram of whisky?
333
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:08,880
Can you do Scottish?
334
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:12,360
Er, not quite as racist
-as you do it, but yeah.
-No.
335
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,120
I think with all accents,
you start racist
336
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,280
and work your way back
to something acceptable.
337
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,800
Yeah, so you think the same way
about accents as you do your act?
338
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,400
LAUGHTER
339
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:29,560
Oh! We've just broke five hours.
Four hours 55.
340
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,200
So we haven't broken five hours.
341
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,520
No, but psychologically,
we're down to four instead of...
342
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,840
Psychologically, I am broken.
You're absolutely right.
343
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,000
But isn't it beautiful?
What a place to be broken.
344
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:44,600
Can we just have a bit of quiet
while I process this news?
345
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:47,520
Cos we're gonna spend a lot of time
together this weekend as well.
346
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,160
Yeah. We can save a lot of this chat
for the golf course, can't we?
347
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,160
A round does take a little while.
348
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,480
It'll be fun though, won't it?
Bonding.
349
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:59,120
Spending time with your mate.
You know, all that stuff?
350
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:02,240
Put some music on or something
if you want.
351
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,440
Something a bit upbeat, though,
cos I'm tired.
352
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,520
Can you shut the fuck up?
Sorry.
353
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:19,760
'Finally,
four uncomfortable hours later,
354
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,960
we arrived at a very cold
St Andrews.'
355
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:26,440
We are in St Andrews
to show Romesh
356
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:29,920
one of the most beautiful
and iconic courses in the world.
357
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,480
What better place to start?
358
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,080
I just didn't factor in the wind.
359
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,240
Oh, God, it's freezing.
360
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:40,240
It's so cold!
Why's it so cold?!
361
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:44,200
Rob is desperate
to sell the game of golf to me,
362
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:48,520
so his whole rationale is
the best way to get Rom into golf
363
00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:52,160
is to take him to
the most iconic places to play golf.
364
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,800
So we're here at St Andrews.
365
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,200
What I do know
366
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:58,400
is it's one of the most difficult
golf courses in the world to play.
367
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,880
Apparently, Tiger Woods likes it
cos he finds it challenging.
368
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:05,000
So why not bring a guy
whose only previous golf experience
369
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,840
is the Weymouth crazy golf?
370
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,000
'However, before we're allowed
to make fools of ourselves
371
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,720
on the golf course tomorrow,
372
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,040
golfing dress code
373
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,000
meant we had to look like
a pair of idiots
374
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,640
while we were doing it.'
375
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:21,400
Is this the one, do you think?
376
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:23,520
Oh, wow.
377
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,400
You're not gonna lose me
on the course, are you?
378
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:29,800
No. You'd try to, though.
You look hideous.
379
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:30,800
I feel a little bit like
380
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:32,600
I look like a kids' entertainer
in the '70s.
381
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,320
You look like a kids' entertainer,
something bad happened,
382
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:36,480
not allowed to work any more.
383
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,240
There was a court case.
Nothing was proven,
384
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,480
but it wasn't unproven.
Yeah.
385
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:42,280
I'm caught between two camps.
386
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:45,400
I love a tracksuit, but also I get
a bit excited about dressing up.
387
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:47,440
Jesus.
388
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,080
Do you like it?
It's just the way you're standing.
389
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,880
I don't think your stance,
your posture's helping.
390
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,680
What, the...
There you go. There you go.
391
00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,280
They're getting a bit harder.
392
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,320
Yeah, I wouldn't, sort of, slap 'em
about like that.
393
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,840
Would you do that on the course
just before you're teeing off?
394
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:09,280
Golf material is one of the most
unforgiving materials
395
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,600
on planet Earth.
396
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,440
It's nice, innit?
Rob, I... I...
397
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,680
Every single corner of your body
is on display.
398
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:24,880
And what's worse,
you've got to tuck it in.
399
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,360
Are you seeing any of the patterns
on the stuff you're wearing?
400
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:30,080
Some of the hairs
are coming through.
401
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:31,360
So, what do you do?
Put that top on
402
00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:34,000
and then shave your chest
with the top on?
403
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,920
Well, I could, couldn't I?
404
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:40,000
'Unfortunately for Rom...'
How you getting on, mate?
405
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,880
My nipples are harder than
an algebra test,
406
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:43,760
to be honest with you.
407
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:45,200
'..I wasn't the only one
408
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,920
who wasn't blessed with a body
for golf.'
409
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:48,920
Come on.
Oh, yeah.
410
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,600
OK, that is...
That's bold, innit?
411
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,280
Look at my body.
My nipples are so...
412
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:57,520
Why are they so hard?
LAUGHTER
413
00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,960
I think...
I think my fetish might be golf.
414
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,880
Cos I've also got a semi.
Is that weird?
415
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:11,360
I just don't see why golf clothes
have to be so...weird.
416
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:16,440
I like it.
417
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,200
This is what you wear
for a fancy-dress party
418
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,800
when you're going as a golfer.
419
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,120
If I said to you that
this is the type of polo shirt
420
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:24,280
you've got to wear.
421
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:27,920
There are about 25 things wrong
with this. OK?
422
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,080
23 of them are the stripes.
423
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,360
Oh, no.
424
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:34,160
I actually think this outfit
might be worse.
425
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,440
What would you describe
this outfit as, Rom?
426
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,960
What racists are scared
all immigrants wear.
427
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,160
What racists think
all immigrants wear.
428
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,600
STIFLES LAUGHTER
429
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,280
Do you know what?
I like the hat.
430
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,040
I think the trousers are the issue.
431
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,040
Do you think so?
Yeah.
432
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,600
Is it? What about the trousers
makes you think they're the issue?
433
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,160
They're a bit too jazzy, I think,
for your first time.
434
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,400
Do you want to put them on
the "maybe" pile?
435
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,640
I'm gonna put them on
the "maybe burn" pile.
436
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:17,840
'With Romesh and I now suited
and booted for St Andrews,
437
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,840
we were geared up and ready to hit
the fairway.'
438
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:22,560
I'm buzzing for this.
It's unbelievable.
439
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,800
It's one of the best golf courses
in the world.
440
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,840
We're getting to play at St Andrews.
I only started playing in July.
441
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:32,120
'And since I was done
carrying the clubs after Wentworth,
442
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:35,280
I'd splashed out on my very own
robot caddy.'
443
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,160
Why have you got this?
What?
444
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,160
Why have you got this?
445
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,320
Quickest way round the course.
446
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:47,240
Rob has bought this, kind of,
-little golf R2
-D2 thing,
447
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:50,240
that you put your golf clubs on
and it just follows you around.
448
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:51,440
I don't know what the brand is,
449
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,680
I'm assuming it's called
something like Wanker Beacon,
450
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,080
because that is essentially
what it is.
451
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,840
So, this is the, erm...
First tee.
452
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,400
That was good.
453
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,760
He's absol... He's happy with that.
Look at that.
454
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,720
It's a lot of pressure, though,
people watching.
455
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,880
Rob, this is not the way
to introduce somebody to golf.
456
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,760
I'll be honest with you,
it is a bit much.
457
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:15,240
Cos we've not done the driving range
yet, have we?
458
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,880
Rob, I've not done golf yet.
459
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,920
The first time Romesh
is ever gonna hit a golf ball
460
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,480
is gonna be on the first tee
at St Andrews.
461
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:25,800
Everyone's watching.
462
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:29,120
Shall we ask if any of them
are playing golf for the first time?
463
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:31,200
Erm, they won't be.
No-one'd do that.
464
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,040
No, never gonna do that.
465
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:36,280
I'm nervous about this.
All these people watching.
466
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,840
He's gonna be furious with me.
467
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:41,920
Good luck.
468
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:47,320
I would say the chances of
this experience
469
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,640
making me want to become
Rob's golf buddy
470
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,760
are slim in the extreme.
471
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,480
I just can't get my head
round the logic of the fact that
472
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:58,040
I've never played golf before
in my life.
473
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,200
And I'm about to play at St Andrews.
474
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,560
OK.
Good luck.
475
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,440
Yes! Well done, Rom!
476
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,520
LAUGHS
477
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,000
It's his first time,
ladies and gentlemen.
478
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,600
First tee was high pressure.
479
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,000
I think you did all right, though.
You kept it on the fairway.
480
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,960
For your first-ever hit of a ball,
I think you've done well.
481
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,680
Obviously, it was shit.
It was complete shit.
482
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,440
But good for him.
483
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:29,920
Right, come on.
Let's play golf.
484
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,160
Exactly the same space again, innit?
485
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,960
Sorry. Fore right.
So that's your last one, is it?
486
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,920
Yeah, but I'll just drop one
down the fairway now.
487
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,680
So what's the point?
So that was a massive waste of time.
488
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,960
Erm, well, no, cos one day
I'll get it down the middle.
489
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,200
How Rob plays golf is this.
490
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,560
You tee off,
491
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,840
you don't give a shiny shit
where it goes,
492
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:55,600
because if it goes somewhere
you don't like,
493
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,440
you just drop another ball
where you fancy.
494
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:01,320
Yes! There you go.
495
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,320
See? They were all shit.
We'll just drop one on the fairway.
496
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:07,320
Well, this is just all
a massive waste of time, then.
497
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:08,560
Thank you.
498
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,200
Hurry up.
499
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:14,520
Now, what I would suggest to Rob
in the future,
500
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:17,000
is rather than having to play
Rob's rules,
501
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,760
just play golf on a course
502
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,040
that isn't one of the most difficult
in the world.
503
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,040
I mean, have a...
504
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,800
LAUGHS
505
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:30,800
Get out!
506
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:33,920
It's like me teaching my kids
to ride their bike
507
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,920
by putting one of them on a unicycle
and then setting it on fire.
508
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,280
And then going,
"Good luck. Go for it."
509
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:43,040
'Surprise, surprise, then,
I wasn't very good.'
510
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:47,240
'But at least one thing
was brightening up my day.'
511
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:54,360
LAUGHTER
512
00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:56,120
Oh, no.
513
00:22:56,120 --> 00:22:59,400
I think I got a bit carried away
in the shop with the electric buggy.
514
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,640
STRAINS
515
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,440
I'm sure it's got its pro points,
516
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,840
but I don't think
I've got the attention span
517
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,480
to sort of, you know, control it.
518
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,360
Come on.
It's a good bit of kit that, innit?
519
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:21,920
'Electric buggies aside,
I was having a great time.'
520
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,400
Ooh.
Oh.
521
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:27,200
'But as the hours dragged on
and the holes just kept on coming,
522
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,440
Romesh was losing
what little enthusiasm he had.'
523
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,320
Can we go, please?
524
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,640
When is this gonna end?
When is this gonna end?
525
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,880
That's all I'm thinking now.
526
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,040
Every time we go over a hill,
there's another fucking flag.
527
00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:46,520
'And eventually, six hours into
our four-hour game...'
528
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,160
Oh, here we go.
'..Rom finally snapped.'
529
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,320
LAUGHTER
No way!
530
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:53,320
Fuck you.
531
00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:00,120
Rob, I don't care, mate.
I'm just getting this done now.
532
00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:01,960
Go away. Go stand over there.
533
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:05,600
-Go fuck off over there, C3
-PO.
Go and hang out with your mate, R2.
534
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,960
No, piss off.
You do it then.
535
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:14,760
Right, next hole.
536
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:16,720
Where's the ball?
Where's my ball?
537
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:20,920
Just over the edge there.
Why have you done that?
538
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:26,160
What you doing?
539
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:28,840
No. No!
540
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,000
Right. Go home.
541
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:33,960
No. That is bang out of order.
No.
542
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,520
Go home. Go. Please go.
Why you being like that?
543
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:38,120
I'll finish on my own.
544
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:40,120
Do you mean I can't play the rest?
No. Go.
545
00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:42,680
Oh, good. Good.
See you later, dickhead.
546
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:46,080
I think it was a great decision
to bring Romesh here.
547
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,560
Sure, he didn't stick it out
for the full 18 holes,
548
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:50,960
but, yeah, we were nearing
the six-hour mark.
549
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:52,280
That is understandable.
550
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,840
And, yeah, he couldn't handle it.
Fair enough.
551
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:56,920
See you back at the hotel, yeah?
Shut up.
552
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,400
We are gonna get dinner, though?
What's that?
553
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,400
We'll get dinner.
Yeah, if you want.
554
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,000
Hello.
You all right?
555
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,560
What?
Why are you...
556
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,400
What are you dressed like that for?
I was gonna ask you that question.
557
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:26,560
Have you dressed for dinner
558
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,640
or an audition for Boris Johnson:
The Early Years?
559
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,200
Well, I think I look very smart.
560
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,520
You do look smart.
Yeah. Well, you don't, do you?
561
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,120
This is one of the most prestigious
courses in the world,
562
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:37,320
and hotels in the world.
563
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,680
I like to dress up for dinner.
Sorry.
564
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,800
How was the rest of your round?
565
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:45,280
It was good, yeah.
Did you enjoy it?
566
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,680
I have a vague recollection
of enjoying it hour one.
567
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:49,680
Yeah.
568
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,880
There were some issues with the way
you decided to introduce me to golf,
569
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:53,880
if I'm being honest.
570
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,040
Too advanced.
Yeah.
571
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,160
Yeah. I totally agree.
Yeah.
572
00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,600
Yeah. So, what's been
your favourite part of the day?
573
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,520
I did quite enjoy the concept of
Rob Golf.
574
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:05,880
It's got legs, ain't it?
575
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:09,120
Well, you play golf,
576
00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:11,760
and then as soon as it gets to a bit
that you're a bit pissed off with,
577
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:13,560
or you find it slightly stressful
or annoying
578
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:15,480
to have to play it from there,
579
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,120
you just throw it somewhere else.
Yeah.
580
00:26:17,120 --> 00:26:18,920
I like it.
Yeah, it's good, innit?
581
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:22,000
And one day, when we're playing
at a standard
582
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,960
where we can do that,
then we'll play actual golf.
583
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:25,040
But for now...
584
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,320
I think you did good.
I think it's a good, solid start.
585
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:30,160
We'll get you some lessons,
-we'll go from there.
-OK.
586
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:35,200
Just so you're ready for the, erm,
tee off challenge at Wentworth.
587
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:40,640
What?
588
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,280
Hm?
589
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,440
I said, "What?"
590
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,840
We're doing a little challenge.
A tee off challenge.
591
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,160
Like the first hole at St Andrews,
which you enjoyed.
592
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:51,760
We're gonna be doing that
at Wentworth.
593
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,080
On the, erm, European PGA tour.
594
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,120
'This week, Rob's dragging me
into the world of golf.'
595
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:23,120
'And after dropping me in
at the deep end in St Andrews...'
596
00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:24,120
Fuck you!
597
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:26,800
'..We were about to do it all again,
598
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:30,600
when we drive 500 miles
back to Wentworth.'
599
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:31,800
How long have we got left?
600
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,160
How long have we got left?
601
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,000
Five hours, without traffic.
602
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:41,200
'So we can see which one of us
could hit the ball the furthest
603
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,600
in a ridiculous tee off challenge
tomorrow.'
604
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,000
I'm so excited.
605
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,440
I cannot wait to completely fuck up
that course.
606
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:49,520
'And to make matters even worse,
607
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,240
it's gonna be broadcast live
on Sky Sports.'
608
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:56,400
Tomorrow, we've got
this abject humiliation
609
00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:58,720
of teeing off
not just in front of people,
610
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,080
that would be bad enough,
live on Sky Sports.
611
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:08,960
'If we weren't going to make
total fools of ourselves tomorrow,
612
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:10,600
we needed to practise.'
613
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,400
Which hole would you like?
614
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:16,760
'And that meant grabbing a buggy
and heading to the driving range.'
615
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:19,480
I'm going to take you
wherever you need.
616
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:20,480
Romesh.
What?
617
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:21,880
You can't do the voice.
618
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:25,280
It makes people feel
very uncomfortable.
619
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,680
I am your number one caddy.
620
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:29,480
LAUGHS
621
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,200
Look, Rom, we're in this together.
622
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:41,160
Just try and forget that you've got
professionals behind us.
623
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,000
Don't worry about it.
Just a practise swing.
624
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:53,920
Bit less power.
Bit less power?
625
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:55,720
It's not moved.
626
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:58,320
I know, but you're putting a lot
-into that.
-OK.
627
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:05,320
OK. Don't worry, don't worry.
It's all right.
628
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:08,320
Here we go.
629
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:10,800
BANG
630
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,080
Fucking hell.
631
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:15,320
LAUGHS
Your go.
632
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:19,320
I heard the professional say
"fucking hell".
633
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:26,280
About 200 yards that one, I think.
634
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,000
SIGHS
Crap.
635
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,480
Just hit it as hard as you can
-and see what happens.
-All right.
636
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:33,400
Oh.
SMASH
637
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:38,880
They should put us in the middle,
really, I think.
638
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,040
Romesh's morale is very low.
639
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:46,360
But I think he's doing well.
640
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:47,520
I didn't even hear that one.
641
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:49,240
I didn't even hear it.
It's so silent.
642
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:50,840
He's just got to believe in himself
more,
643
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:52,640
and stop, like, missing the ball.
644
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:56,560
Oh, my... Oh, shit.
645
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,160
Where did it go?
It hit that pylon.
646
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:01,960
It's difficult to see the yardage.
647
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,520
What, to the right?
-Way to the right.
-OK.
648
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:06,320
It's fun, though, innit?
Are you enjoying it?
649
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,040
I was enjoying it,
until it became apparent
650
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,120
that I'm not making
any discernible improvement.
651
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:12,840
You're not getting worse.
OK. I mean, that's...
652
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:14,640
I could've done that by not playing
at all.
653
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:20,800
'Things weren't looking good
for Romesh.'
654
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:24,040
'But to be honest, both of us needed
a little extra help
655
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:25,800
before tomorrow's challenge.'
656
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:32,600
'So who better to give us a lesson
in the basics and boost morale
657
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:34,480
than a former world number one?'
658
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,760
'US Open champion
and Ryder Cup legend
659
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:44,240
Justin Rose.'
660
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:50,120
All right, boys?
-Hi, Justin.
-Hi, Justin.
661
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,000
Thanks for coming down.
Yeah, you got it.
662
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,480
Big day tomorrow.
Yeah.
663
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:57,480
Heard you lads are gonna be
-hitting one off the tee.Yes.
-Yeah?
664
00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:00,480
-We're bad.
-Well, it looks like
you've got all the gear and no idea.
665
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:01,760
Yeah.
Thanks, mate.
666
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,640
Let's see if we can do something
-about that.Yeah, cool.
-Yeah?
667
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,840
Want me to maybe do a little demo
and then see if you can follow?
668
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:09,400
Yeah. Show us how it's done.
669
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,760
Only go at 90%, though, probably.
OK.
670
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:15,320
Oh, my God.
671
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,360
It's pretty straightforward, really,
to be honest.
672
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:21,720
LAUGHTER
673
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:23,120
Who's the bravest?
Who's up first?
674
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:24,720
Well, Rob, you're better than me.
You go.
675
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,440
I mean, when you're wearing
white strides,
676
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:28,760
I mean, you're definitely, like,
you're halfway down.
677
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,280
Tell me you've got a white belt on,
too.
678
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:32,840
I've got a white belt, mate.
-I'm not messing about.
-Absolute pro.
679
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:34,840
I mean, this is what I wear
normally.
680
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:36,440
Step in.
681
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:37,440
Right.
682
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,800
BANG
Yeah. Over there again.
683
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,600
Yeah. That... There's probably
about 50 reasons for that,
684
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:47,080
looking at the state of that swing.
685
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:50,400
OK, could we do, like, top three?
Top three! Right.
686
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,600
You're quite a long way away
-from the ball.
-OK.
687
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:56,240
So, I would be wanting to be cut,
cut across the ball.
688
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:58,600
So, for me, you want to really try
to feel like you...
689
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:01,960
Like a forehand in tennis.
-Have you ever played any tennis?
-No.
690
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:03,880
I've done table tennis.
Is it similar?
691
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,280
Yeah, a little bit.
OK.
692
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,120
Like, I want you to feel...
-Exactly.
-Like that?
693
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:08,920
I want you to feel...
Put a bit of swazz on it.
694
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,320
Exactly. A little top spin,
and slicing it that way.
695
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,040
OK, I'll have a quick go, then.
696
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:17,080
Oh, yeah. Way better.
Oh, look at that.
697
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:21,520
Unbelievable.
I mean, I'm suitably impressed.
698
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:24,080
That is literally the best
I've ever done.
699
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:26,160
Thank you. Thank you, Justin.
I can't...
700
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,320
Romesh, sorry, mate.
He's done you there, hasn't he?
701
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:35,720
From out of nowhere,
Rob Beckett pulls out of his arse
702
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:38,200
the best shot he's ever made
in his entire life.
703
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,480
Now, that is a bad sign,
704
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:45,240
because it turns out that Beckett
loves pressure.
705
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:49,360
'And it turns out... I don't.'
706
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:52,960
OK. That's always...
It's always a start, innit?
707
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:55,120
Yeah. It went 100 yards.
-Yeah.
-Thank you.
708
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:56,880
We can work with that.
Any potential at all?
709
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:58,880
I think...
To be honest with you, right,
710
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,520
I noticed the grip's way up
in-between the two pads, right?
711
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:03,520
The lower you can get that grip,
712
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:05,520
the more you can grip it
in the left of the fingers,
713
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:06,880
the more power you're gonna have.
714
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,600
You're gonna be able to set
your wrists.
715
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:11,320
So I'd say it's worth
spending a bit of time
716
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:12,640
getting the grip sorted.
717
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:14,000
OK. Well, I've got till tomorrow.
718
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,840
LAUGHS
All right.
719
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:19,880
GROANS
720
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:24,960
The backswing was a ton better.
721
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:26,680
All you need
is that bucket of balls.
722
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:28,760
It's just that front swing, innit?
A couple of hours.
723
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:31,120
A couple of hours?
And you're gonna be A-OK.
724
00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:33,120
Do I show any kind of promise
at all?
725
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:37,320
You look like a good lad in the bar
afterwards.
726
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:39,280
I'm not even that, Justin.
727
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:40,760
LAUGHS
728
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:42,880
You're all right
after a couple of beers.
729
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:50,280
The long and the short of it is
I thought I was in trouble before,
730
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,080
and now I know I'm in trouble.
731
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:56,240
I'm not feeling confident.
732
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:57,640
Good luck tomorrow.
Yeah.
733
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,360
And well done. It's a brave thing
to do to have a laugh.
734
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,120
But you know,
you guys have a great audience,
735
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:03,600
hopefully bring more people to golf,
736
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,440
and thanks for shining the light
on what we do.
737
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,440
Oh, thanks, Justin.
Yeah, thank you for your time.
738
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:10,080
That's brilliant. Thank you so much.
Good luck, lads.
739
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:12,280
Justin Rose came along
740
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,080
with the biggest of all
big-dick energy I've ever seen.
741
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:16,800
What a legend he is.
742
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:18,720
Just bowled in,
crunched it 300 yards.
743
00:34:18,720 --> 00:34:20,920
"Do that, it'll get better.
Do that, it'll get better."
744
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:22,720
It got better.
"See you later."
745
00:34:22,720 --> 00:34:25,440
"Thanks for bringing a new fan base
to the sport."
746
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:27,600
I feel like a won an MBE.
747
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:29,160
That was unbelievable.
748
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:32,880
I cannot believe what you just did.
749
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,160
He just...
-Thanks.
-Cheers.
750
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:37,560
He walked in there like a cowboy.
I'm so angry with you.
751
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:39,000
What? What have I done?
752
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:40,760
How have you pulled
the best shot of your life
753
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:42,600
out of your arse
in front of Justin Rose?
754
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:44,400
I don't know.
How the hell did you manage that?
755
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:46,320
Yeah, but I think I'm in love
-with him.
-Anyway...
756
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:48,360
He literally...
We had him for about three minutes.
757
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:49,760
He bowled in, did that, left.
758
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,280
Just gonna go and win a million quid
probably, in the game.
759
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:53,760
I've had enough.
760
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:07,400
'Rob and I are back in Wentworth
761
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:11,120
for the first day of
the BMW PGA Championship...'
762
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:12,120
Bloody hell.
763
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:15,080
'..And the culmination of
my golfing journey.'
764
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:18,920
Bit less power.
Bit less power? It's not moved.
765
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:23,080
'We've trained with one of
the best golfers in the world.'
766
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:25,480
It's pretty straightforward, really,
to be honest.
767
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:29,560
'And now we're about to humiliate
ourselves live on Sky Sports,
768
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:31,520
as we prepare to join
the professionals
769
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:34,120
on Wentworth's famous first tee,
770
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,840
to see which one of us
could hit the ball the furthest
771
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:39,400
in our tee-off challenge
this afternoon.'
772
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,720
The good thing about it is
it's gonna be live on Sky Sports,
773
00:35:42,720 --> 00:35:44,720
so that's just sort of an added kick
in the dick,
774
00:35:44,720 --> 00:35:47,000
just in case I was starting to feel
all right about it.
775
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:50,320
Rom, how are you feeling?
776
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:53,200
We had a bit of a low morale day
yesterday.
777
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:54,360
Yeah, I would say that.
778
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:59,360
I would say in terms of preparation,
for the confidence,
779
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:01,680
that couldn't have been
-a worse experience yesterday.
-No.
780
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,240
Absolutely rock bottom.
781
00:36:03,240 --> 00:36:05,640
Yeah. For both of us as well.
782
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,920
I wouldn't just say one, you know...
I'm extremely erratic.
783
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:11,720
Do you mean in golf, you are?
I think golf's almost...
784
00:36:11,720 --> 00:36:13,920
Just generally, your mood is
as well, actually.
785
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,760
I think you're erratic generally,
in relationships and in golf.
786
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:19,240
I think it translates onto
the golf course, your personality.
787
00:36:19,240 --> 00:36:21,000
How do you mean? I'm shit?
788
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:24,280
And a bit off to the right.
789
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:26,800
LAUGHTER
790
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:28,960
I can't do this, Rob.
791
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:30,720
Have you seen
where we're teeing off from?
792
00:36:30,720 --> 00:36:32,560
Well, I'm going to be honest
with you,
793
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:35,800
I can see a number one over there,
but I'm slightly in denial.
794
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:37,720
Yeah, so just in front of
that castle,
795
00:36:37,720 --> 00:36:39,520
that number one in front of it.
796
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:41,240
What, actually in front of
that number one?
797
00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:43,520
Yeah. Next to the statue
and the brand-new car.
798
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:46,920
Well, the Sky studio's not safe.
Putting's not safe.
799
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:49,920
The BMW's not...
The castle behind us isn't safe.
800
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:51,840
No, a couple of yours did go behind,
didn't they?
801
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,160
This is a health and safety
disaster, mate.
802
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,320
Yeah. What... I don't...
Why do we do this?
803
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:58,560
This is just humiliation.
804
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,080
I mean, earlier I was confident
about the trousers.
805
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:02,800
Now I'm regretting them.
806
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:04,240
The biggest surprise of that
807
00:37:04,240 --> 00:37:05,960
is that you were confident
at one point.
808
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:08,040
I look like a pervert
that sells ice creams.
809
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,160
And then with the trousers,
-even worse.
-Yeah.
810
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,560
'However, Rob's awful taste
in clothes
811
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:16,440
was the least of our problems,
812
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,840
as our tee off challenge
was about to begin.'
813
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:29,960
Welcome to Wentworth Club,
814
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:34,040
and welcome to the 66th playing of
the BMW PGA Championship.
815
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:37,840
This is game number 24.
816
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:42,760
On the tee, from England,
the Olympic champion Justin Rose.
817
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,840
'As the professionals lined up
to start their rounds,
818
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:50,720
Rob and I were told to report to
the first tee staging area...'
819
00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:52,520
Oh, God.
820
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,840
Such an intimidating first tee.
821
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:57,840
'..Where the full terror of
what we were about to do
822
00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:59,400
finally sunk in.'
823
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:03,440
Oh, good, powerful swing, isn't it,
from Ian Poulter.
824
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:05,320
I'm so scared.
Right, just show us your swing.
825
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:07,040
No, I just need to...
Where you going?
826
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:08,600
I don't wanna be here.
827
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:12,320
Do you wanna be my golf buddy now?
Absolutely not.
828
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:14,560
It's fun. This is not fun.
This is the worst time to ask me.
829
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,240
It's a bad time. But look at it.
Doesn't it look lovely?
830
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:23,200
'Rob and I would have one shot each
to hit the ball as far as we can.'
831
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:26,520
'And this time
there would be no second chances.'
832
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:27,520
We're dead.
833
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:45,080
I feel absolutely rotten.
834
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,000
That's the worst thing
that could've happened.
835
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:48,920
Why would you put us here for this,
836
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:51,760
to watch other people do it
beforehand?
837
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:55,120
'Finally, we were given
the all clear
838
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:57,600
to walk onto Wentworth's
hallowed first tee.'
839
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:01,800
'Where we were about to embarrass
ourselves in front of the world...
840
00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:04,600
..live on television.'
841
00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:08,200
Are you nervous?
842
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:09,840
-Yes.
-Yes.
Oh.
843
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,960
Am I nervous?
Are you joking?
844
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:17,760
'This was going to be a disaster.'
845
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:21,120
Play the ball, not the venue.
Rob.
846
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:23,080
Forget there's a castle.
Forget it's Wentworth.
847
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,160
Rob, please shut up. Just shut up.
OK.
848
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:27,560
I'm just saying forget all the pros.
Shut. Up.
849
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:29,120
Forget all the people.
Shut up. Rob.
850
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:32,480
Just forget it. Just forget it.
Just be in your own space.
851
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:33,680
Rob. Rob. Shut up.
852
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:37,320
You are the ball, the ball is you.
Just relax.
853
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,320
Welcome back to Wentworth Club.
854
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:43,360
It's day one coverage here
855
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:46,680
of the 66th playing of
the BMW PGA Championship.
856
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:49,160
We'll head out onto the golf course
in just a moment,
857
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:50,720
but this, where I am right now,
858
00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:54,200
is one of the most iconic
opening tee shots in all of golf,
859
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:55,920
with the beautiful club house
of Wentworth
860
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:57,080
overlooking that first tee,
861
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:59,360
and it's seen some of
the great moments in our sport.
862
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:01,560
Highly unlikely we're gonna see
another one right now,
863
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:02,680
but we'll try anyway.
864
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:05,400
It's Rob vs Romesh,
and to take you through the action
865
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:06,920
we're gonna have Wayne Riley
on course
866
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:08,880
and Richard Boxall in commentary.
867
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:10,680
Thank you very much, Nick.
868
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:14,760
Now, we've got a couple of
late sponsor's invites
869
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:16,080
coming in here.
870
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:18,760
Let's get them underway
with Alastair Scott.
871
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:21,000
This is game number 30.
872
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:24,520
On the tee, from South East London,
Rob Beckett.
873
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:27,920
Off he goes.
874
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:30,480
So, you've got Rob Beckett.
Don't bother.
875
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:33,880
And Romesh Ranganathan
is the other player.
876
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:36,880
They're both a couple of comedians,
as you're gonna see in a minute.
877
00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:39,040
And out on the course
is Wayne Riley.
878
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:40,800
Wayne, it's the one who hits it
the furthest.
879
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:41,800
I presume you're...
880
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:44,120
Have you got past the semi rough
or not?
881
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:47,280
Ah, OK. It's 180
to carry the heather.
882
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:48,600
Good luck, Rob.
883
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:52,320
Oh. Oh. Look...
Oh. Ooh.
884
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:54,960
It's about 100 grand
to be a member here,
885
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:57,440
and he's just taken a divot
out of the first tee, old Rob.
886
00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:59,640
The one who hits it the furthest
wins, Wayne.
887
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:00,640
I've got Rob.
888
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:04,000
Yeah, I think that's not a bad bet.
889
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,160
He's nailed it. It is high.
890
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:10,080
Fore right. He spotted it.
You're out there, Wayne.
891
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:11,480
It's high.
892
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,360
Shane Warne's under it.
He's got him. He's out.
893
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:15,640
LAUGHTER
894
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:16,800
It's at the car park.
895
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:18,200
LAUGHTER
896
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:22,360
Well, we'll find out where that is.
Let's get the next comedian on.
897
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:25,920
On the tee, from Crawley,
Romesh Ranganathan.
898
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:28,920
'With Rob's ball
missing in action...'
899
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:30,080
Thank you, yes.
900
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:31,920
'..All I had to do
to win the challenge...
901
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:35,560
..was keep my ball on the course.'
902
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:37,880
'But given my previous form,
903
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:39,880
even that might be a stretch
too far.'
904
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:44,360
Ooh. Not a bad backswing.
905
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:48,320
Not a bad backswing.
906
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:50,160
Not bad at all!
907
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:53,480
It's gone about 70 yards
down the left-hand side.
908
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:55,320
He's just caught the rough.
909
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:56,880
Marvellous.
910
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,280
And he's quite happy with that.
911
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:12,840
Mate, how happy are you?
912
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:14,640
Oh, mate!
913
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:16,440
That was so good.
914
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:18,240
Was it actually good?
915
00:42:18,240 --> 00:42:19,920
Well, no, but...
916
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:22,800
Look, not for a professional,
but you got it over.
917
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:26,440
It's playable and on the fairway.
Mine's in the carpark.
918
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:28,880
That was great.
919
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:32,400
That was so good.
Everyone went, "Ooooh."
920
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:34,240
Did you hear it?
Yeah.
921
00:42:34,240 --> 00:42:38,520
Feel like a celebration?
The celebratory... I'm so happy.
922
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:42,120
Romesh, are you my golf buddy now?
100%, I'm your golf buddy, mate.
923
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:47,680
'So, with my mission complete
924
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:50,040
and my shiny new golf buddy
at my side,
925
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:54,480
all that was left for us to do
was find my golf ball
926
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:56,000
and walk off into the sunset.'
927
00:42:57,080 --> 00:42:59,440
Rom! Rom!
928
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:00,760
Found it!
929
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,880
You're joking!
Look at that!
930
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:06,120
Who's won, then?
931
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:07,840
What do you mean, who's won?
I've won.
932
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:09,680
It's... Yeah, but I did it further.
933
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:11,800
Yeah, but this is an illegal shot.
934
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,520
Technically, I'm out of bounds now,
so I'd have to do a drop shot.
935
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:16,600
But the challenge was
who could hit it the furthest.
936
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:19,480
No, but which one was a better shot?
Clearly mine.
937
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:22,480
I am on your side here, Rom.
It doesn't sound like you are.
938
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:25,480
I think you've done better,
but what was the challenge?
939
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:27,720
Hit it furthest.
Yeah. And who's hit it the furthest?
940
00:43:27,720 --> 00:43:28,880
Forget the rest.
941
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:31,480
Whose ball is further away
from the tee?
942
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:32,880
I mean, I've got to be honest,
943
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:34,400
there is a logic
to what you're saying.
944
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:37,560
However, I'm happy to concede
a score draw.
945
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:40,040
OK, that tells me that you know
you've lost.
946
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:41,520
I've lost, haven't I?
Yeah, you have.
947
00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:43,080
Look, fair enough, Rom.
948
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:45,640
That was a good, what,
80, 100 yards,
949
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:47,040
and straight down the fairway.
950
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:48,400
I've had an absolute...
951
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:51,000
I mean, it's so far right
-it's almost come back round.
-Yeah.
952
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,360
It's so far right
-it could be your audience.
-Yeah.
953
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,360
How are you feeling about golf?
954
00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:58,200
I think I love golf.
You do love golf.
955
00:43:58,200 --> 00:43:59,920
And do you know what?
I think golf loves you.
956
00:43:59,920 --> 00:44:02,320
I am pleased.
We've had a great day, haven't we?
957
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:05,560
I'm glad
you're my new golfing buddy.
958
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:08,080
I am your new golfing buddy,
as long as you play at Wentworth.
959
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:10,000
Right. Shall we get pissed?
960
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:11,880
Absolutely.
All the bars are closed, though.
961
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:13,040
Oh, God.
962
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:14,880
AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk
963
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,640
♪ Ooh, you make me live
964
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:20,960
♪ Ooh, I've been wandering round
965
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:24,600
♪ Still come back to you
(Still come back to you)
966
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:28,600
♪ In rain or shine
You've stood by me, girl
967
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:32,400
♪ I'm happy at home
(Happy at home)
968
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,720
♪ You're my best friend
969
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:40,920
♪ Ooh, you make me live
970
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:43,400
♪ Ooh, you're my best friend ♪
76058
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