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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,800
The following programme contains
strong language and adult humour.
2
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:12,360
'Romesh and I are back.'
Hello.
3
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:15,200
'We're not getting any younger.'
Oh, my god.
4
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:17,920
'And there's a lot of stuff out
there we know nothing about.'
5
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:19,800
I've seriously took one
for the team.
6
00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:23,840
'In this series we're on a journey of
discovery.'Am I into death metal?
7
00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:25,880
'Over the next four episodes
8
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:28,560
we'll be delving into the worlds
of basketball...
9
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:30,680
ballet...'
I look like a circus strongman.
10
00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:32,200
'..and cricket...
11
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,600
to find what we like...'
Oh!
12
00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:37,560
Come on!
'..and what we don't.'
13
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:41,000
'We might even discover
a hidden talent.'Argh!
14
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:44,200
'Or we might just end up
humiliating ourselves.'
15
00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:47,240
You've booked us into a spa and now
we're having tubes up our arse.
16
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:51,160
'Our latest adventure has brought us
all the way to South Africa
17
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,360
to take on the world
of international cricket,
18
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:57,000
as England play the hosts
in a five-day test match.'
19
00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:58,720
What a catch that is.
20
00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:00,880
'My plan was to watch
as much cricket as possible
21
00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,280
and to understand
why it's so popular.
22
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,920
But Rob had other plans.'
We're tracking a rhino.
23
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:10,480
'As we set off on a cultural tour...'
Are you taking this seriously?
24
00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:13,680
'..Beckett style.'Just keep going
until you feel the grass balls.
25
00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:18,160
'But this time it really
is all about cricket.
26
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:21,240
As the test match reaches
its epic conclusion,
27
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,960
we hang out with
some England fans...
28
00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:27,720
..try our hand at live commentary.'
29
00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:30,480
Again, I don't know what happened,
but someone's caught it.
30
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:34,400
'And find out which one of us has
got what it takes to turn pro.'
31
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,040
(CROWD GROANS)
32
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:45,720
'We'd been in South Africa
for four days
33
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,840
and we were finally gonna
see some cricket,
34
00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:51,640
but as we began to make
our way across Cape Town,
35
00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:54,080
things didn't get off to the best
start.' (HORN HONKS)
36
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,720
Don't expect to see a London bus,
-do you?
-No.
37
00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:58,440
It's fucking lost, innit?
38
00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,360
Right, is he gonna let me out?
39
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,320
(HORN HONKS)
Oh, no.
40
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,080
And here we have...
41
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He's not letting me... I can't get
it into reverse.(HORN HONKS)
42
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Why won't it go into reverse?
(BUS HORN HONKS)
43
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Why won't it get into reverse,
Romesh?
44
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Hold on, hold on, hold on.
That's it.
45
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,480
There you go.
46
00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:22,320
That's not as easy as it should be.
That could've been really bad.
47
00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,920
I want to let that marinate
-a little bit longer.
-Argh.
48
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,520
Wow.
(LAUGHS)
49
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It's OK. Very warm in here.
(LAUGHS
50
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:34,160
♪ INCREDIBLE BONGO BAND: Apache
51
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,920
'Back on the move we headed
to Newlands Cricket Ground
52
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:40,040
where day three of the second test
was about to begin.'
53
00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:43,440
'Yesterday our bowlers had torn
54
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,560
through the South African
batting order.'
55
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,520
That's it.
56
00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:53,440
'And by the close of play they only
had two wickets left standing.'
57
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:56,240
A perfect end for England.
The crowd has been fantastic.
58
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,920
They've got behind them.
They've been singing the songs.
59
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,360
The support's been good
and they've put themselves
60
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,640
in a very, very strong position
in this test match.
61
00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,240
This is it.
Here we go.
62
00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:12,240
I know you've not got a big interest,
but are you slightly buzzing?
63
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,920
I'm excited about the weather.
64
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:17,520
Like we're going to a festival up
-a mountain.
-Yeah, and the cricket.
65
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,960
I'm excited.
This is pretty amazing, mate.
66
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,920
'Today I was looking to see South
Africa's wickets fall fast,
67
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,080
so we could watch some
fine England batting.'
68
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:27,840
When I go through a turnstile,
I get over excited.
69
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:31,320
'But I was also looking to see how
long Rob would stay focussed
70
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,560
on the slow-burn nature
of test cricket.'
71
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,440
Rob has got a very
short attention span.
72
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:40,800
He is like a kid that's eaten
seven packets of Haribo.
73
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,560
This is all right, innit?
Oh, mate. Not bad.
74
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:47,240
I like it.
As days at work go.
75
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,800
The idea of him sitting here
for days at a time,
76
00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:52,880
watching a game without
becoming so annoying
77
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,320
that I want to punch his face in...
very unlikely.
78
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,400
'As the match got underway,
79
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:01,800
Jimmy Anderson set England off
to a dream start,
80
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,240
taking a wicket
with his very first ball.'
81
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:07,760
Just the start that England
would have wanted.
82
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,680
Come on, England!
Come on, England!
83
00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:14,280
'A fantastic moment which seemed to
ignite Rob's interest in the sport.
84
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,200
Well, sort of.'Why don't they have
different colour kits?
85
00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:20,600
It's always white, innit? Cos it's
hard to know who's who, innit?
86
00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:24,440
Well... Well, not really,
two of them have got bats! (LAUGHS)
87
00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,880
That's something I'm glad you said
quietly, as you did.
88
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,040
Do you know the types of bowling?
89
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:33,200
Um... Oh, fast and slow.
90
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,480
Oh!
91
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,240
Oh. He nearly caught it.
92
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:46,160
So, what do you actually know?
Does the.. Is an over six balls?
93
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,160
Yes, it is, yeah.
94
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:51,600
-There we go.
-I think we should keep
all these questions quiet.
95
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,680
It's a bit like like Australia,
South Africa, don't you think?
96
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,080
In what way?
Cricket.
97
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:04,080
So, do you know
-what Duckworth Lewis is?
-Who?
98
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,360
Duckworth Lewis.
Duckworth Lewis.
99
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,880
-Yeah.
-Sounds like a number in bingo,
innit?
100
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,360
Duckworth Lewis, 35.
Yeah.
101
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,400
Ah. Been waiting on
a Duckworth Lewis for 100 quid.
102
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,160
Duckworth Lewis
is if rain stops play.
103
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,760
-Yeah.
-They calculate...
It's a method to calculate...
104
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,840
Oh, like sin, cos, tan.
105
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,880
Yes, I guess so, yeah.
Pythagoras.
106
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,680
But like trigonometry, yeah.
Yeah.
107
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,320
Sort of getting maths and cricket
wrong now, but, yeah.
108
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:31,200
This is great for you, isn't it?
109
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,840
This must... Oh, this plays
into the Asian stance.
110
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,600
This is the most Asian you've ever
been. Cricket and maths.
111
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,840
-It's unbelievable.
-All I need to do
is set up some IT support, I'm away.
112
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,680
'So, with Rom's help I'd nailed
the basics of cricket.'
113
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,160
Come on!
114
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,960
'And with the men in white bowling
out the other men in white,
115
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,400
I think it was England's turn
to try and hit the red ball.
116
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,480
But that didn't seem
to go too well.'
117
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Edged.
118
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,320
'And then something genuinely
interesting happened.'
119
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,280
Oh, we're on the big screen, Romesh.
120
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,440
No, we're not, are we?
Are we? Oh, yeah.
121
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,880
Rob and Romesh are in the house.
122
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:11,200
Enjoying themselves,
by the look of it today.
123
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,000
Oh, there he goes.
124
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,640
Important, I guess,
to stay hydrated.
125
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:21,560
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
126
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,960
It was at exactly this point
Rob's interest
127
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,440
in our mellow morning began to wane
128
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,240
and he felt
we should liven it up a bit.
129
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:33,160
I'm getting into the vibe, however
it does feel like that section
130
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,680
is, like, the hard-core.
That's the Barmy Army.
131
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:38,200
This is the corporate hospitality.
It's a bit corporate.
132
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:42,120
-We've sampled this.
-Prawn sandwich
-brigade.
-Let's go get in amongst it.
133
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,320
'As he owed me a pint,
who was I to stop him?
134
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:51,640
The Barmy Army have been England's
globe-trotting 12th man
135
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:54,800
for over 25 years,
turning up in their thousands
136
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:57,560
to support the team
through thick and thin.
137
00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:00,200
They also enjoy staying
well hydrated,
138
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:03,320
so it was understandable why Rob
was keen to hang out with them.
139
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:06,520
Thankfully, the army's Chris Millard
was on hand to draft us in.
140
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:10,120
Welcome to the army.
-How you doing? I'm Rob.
-Chris.
141
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:11,880
You've gotta wear one of these.
OK.
142
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,000
Wear it proud, yeah?
Oh, thank you.
143
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:17,680
So, we just get the gear straight
-away?We're in the Barmy Army.
-Yeah.
144
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,000
Welcome.
145
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:21,920
(PLAYS TRUMPET)
# You're In The Army Now
146
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I'm in the army.
147
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:32,600
'I was feeling a bit self-conscious
in my ill-fitting uniform,
148
00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:34,840
but Rob had settled right in.'
149
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,400
Can I have a go on the trumpet?
-Yeah.
-How do you do it?
150
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,080
Basically, you've gotta put
your lips together.
151
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:43,360
How do you hold it?
Left hand round the middle.
152
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,440
No, look left hand like that.
Oh, right.
153
00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,040
Grip it round the middle.
154
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,000
(PLATYS RANDOM NOTES)
155
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,800
That's not bad. For a first go,
that's not bad at all.
156
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,080
Thanks, guys.
ARMY: # He's sacked in the morning
157
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,400
♪ Sacked in the morning
158
00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:01,320
♪ You're getting sacked
in the morning
159
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,400
♪ Sacked in the morning... ♪
160
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,920
(PLAYS RANDOM NOTES)
161
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,480
(CHEERING)
162
00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:12,080
' I was out of puff and as there was
very little happening on the field,
163
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:15,320
I thought Rom should have a go at
entertaining our new friends.'
164
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:17,360
Uh, do you know what guys?
165
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,880
Did everyone see me down a pint
on the big screen?
166
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:21,640
We did see you.
Yeah.
167
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,080
Has anyone seen Romesh do it?
CROWD: No.
168
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,920
No. Shall we see Romesh do it?
Yeah.
169
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,520
Actually, guys, it's against
my religious beliefs.
170
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,160
(SINGS)
171
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,600
♪ Down in one, down in one,
down in one... ♪
172
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,120
' And then like an idiot, like a mug,
173
00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,400
like an easily manipulated chump,
174
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,680
I allowed myself to fall into the
trap
175
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,000
of downing a pint like a prick
in front of the Barmy Army.
176
00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:46,560
♪ Down in one, down in one
177
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:51,360
♪ Down in one, down in one,
down in one
178
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,840
Ooh!
179
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,400
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
180
00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:59,760
It's not me. I allowed myself
to be pressured.
181
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,080
He went, "Chug it and they all go,
'Go, Ranganathan.
182
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,160
Go, you fat Rangars.'"
and then I downed it.
183
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:06,880
(LAUGHS)
184
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,760
But they didn't... (LAUGHS)
185
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,800
'Whilst I was trying to hold it down,
186
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,840
the Barmy Army was turning it up
187
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:15,240
and the whole stand
was suddenly buzzing.'
188
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:19,320
We are the army!
189
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:24,600
The barmy Barmy Army!
190
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,200
With Joe Root!
191
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:35,120
Barmy Army, Joe Root!
192
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,960
Barmy Army, Joe Root!
193
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,760
COMMENTATOR: They've been vocal.
194
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:45,680
The Barmy Army and England support.
195
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:47,600
Barmy Army, Joe Root!
196
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:49,360
'I'd found my cricket mojo,
197
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,600
but all that clapping
was taking its toll.
198
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,680
Barmy Army, Joe Root!
199
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,440
(SINGING AND TRUMPET PLAYING)
200
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,320
Oh, my God!
201
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,480
And so before we had our Barmy Army
memberships revoked,
202
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,000
we snuck off for a breather.'
203
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:12,600
Well, that was pretty mad, wasn't it?
I love cricket.
204
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,600
I feel I've been indoctrinated.
205
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,280
I've gotta say,
I love the Barmy Army. They're great.
206
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,680
I love 'em for about half an hour.
Yeah.
207
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:23,000
The first time in my life I've gone,
# Dur dur, dur dur dur-dur-dur ♪
208
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,200
That's the first time
I've ever done that.
209
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:29,400
Normally, when I hear it, I say to my
family, let's run the opposite way.
210
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,600
But, yeah I'm... I'm buzzing.
I enjoyed that.
211
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,880
I feel like I look like
I've won a competition.
212
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:38,160
You look like Cypress Hill if they
got involved with Tommy Robinson.
213
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:40,480
Beer?
214
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,240
Your round, right?
215
00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:00,880
'Rom and I are in Cape Town watching
England take on South Africa.'
216
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,760
Come on!
Come on! Yes!
217
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,160
'Yesterday we sat through
the third day of the test
218
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,880
while staying well hydrated,
219
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:11,440
and hanging out
with the Barmy Army.'
220
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:13,080
Barmy Army!
221
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,800
(PLAYS RANDOM NOTES)
222
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,120
(LAUGHS)
223
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,720
'England were in a strong position,
224
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,960
but after losing two wickets
late in the day...'
225
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,200
Gone.
226
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,960
'..the hosts had been offered
a glimmer of hope.
227
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,280
Now we were en route to day four,
228
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,440
but the game itself was at the back
of my mind
229
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,520
because today we'd be going head
to head in a catching challenge
230
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:37,080
in front of the Barmy Army.
231
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,920
And in preparation
for this public humiliation,
232
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,600
we'd received nearly a full hour
of training
233
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:44,760
with England legend Kevin Pietersen,
234
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,640
where I'd proven I was competent,
at best.
235
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,400
And, Rob, well...'
236
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:53,400
Rob.
Ooh, I don't like it.
237
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,520
'Rob was Rob.'
I don't like it.
238
00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:59,240
Nasser Hussain...
Yeah.
239
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,080
..is gonna be hitting it
in the air, OK?
240
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,200
We've gotta catch.
We get three attempts.
241
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:06,040
Do you think you're gonna win
or I'm gonna win? Honestly.
242
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,920
Honestly, banter aside.
Banter aside,
243
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,760
we drop all three.
244
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,880
Each of us.
Yeah I think that's most likely.
245
00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:16,400
Six balls dropped to boos and jeers
from a drunk Barmy Army.
246
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:20,040
What did you just say?
Boos and jeers.
247
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,280
Boos and jeers. Boos and jeers.
248
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:27,880
(LAUGHS)
249
00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,200
Boos and jeers. Why is that funny?
250
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:33,360
Boos and jeers.
(BOTH LAUGH)
251
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:35,040
Sorry, I just....
252
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,640
Boos and jeers. Jeers.
Yeah.
253
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:42,520
'When we arrived, there was no time
to make ourselves look presentable,
254
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:45,360
as we had to appear
live on South African TV
255
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:49,720
to hear some words of encouragement
from our no-nonsense mentor.'
256
00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:51,840
This is KP's advice to you.
257
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,720
You've gotta keep your eyes
on the ball whether you're bowling,
258
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,880
batting or catching.
259
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:59,560
Your eyes are
the most important part
260
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:02,240
about going about our wonderful job.
261
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,840
Do you give Rob and Romesh any hope?
262
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,160
Er...yes.
263
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:10,200
I do. I do. I want to.
I'm a positive dude.
264
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:13,280
I don't wanna stand here and say
they've got absolutely no chance.
265
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,880
When you put your mind to something,
you can do anything.
266
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,840
So 100%, I'm giving them
every single chance
267
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:22,000
to make sure that they do it.
Don't let me down.
268
00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:25,400
-Boys, don't let him down.
-Honestly,
I don't put much stock in that
269
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:27,840
because when you said to him,
"How do you feel,"
270
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,200
he didn't say I'm positive
about their chances.
271
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,560
He said, "I'm a generally
-a positive guy.
-Yeah.
272
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:36,000
Basically, he said, "I try and look
at the bright side of everything.
273
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:39,160
So, yeah hopefully they'll do it."
So, obviously, he does know you.
274
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,240
Also he said... It's not a big vote
of confidence...eyes are key.
275
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,680
His are all over the place.
-Mine are going.
-It's over.
276
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:47,760
My mum's had two detached retinas.
That's my weak point.
277
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,440
I'll be blind before I'm dead.
278
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,240
The worst thing he could've said
was it's all about the eyes.
279
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,600
That's literally the worst thing
he could've said.
280
00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,480
Yeah, that's it. If he said,
281
00:13:56,520 --> 00:14:00,160
ideally, if you're a bit overweight
and happy, I'd be feeling positive.
282
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:03,960
I'd have loved it if he'd said,
"If you've got poor stamina
and partially sighted,
283
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,840
you're gonna have an absolute blinder
-on this literally.
-Love it.
284
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,880
'KP's words had provided
very little comfort
285
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:12,760
and neither did the England kits
286
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,160
he'd arranged for us to wear
for the challenge.
287
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:17,640
It's not forgiving, is it,
as tops go?
288
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:20,240
It's hard to pull off a cream polo
shirt with a...
289
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,800
I've got a lot more respect
for them as athletes now.
290
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:25,320
(LAUGHS)
How do you...?
How can you wear this?
291
00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,720
This is gonna be awful.
292
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:30,200
Shoes. You got sunglasses?
293
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,160
I've got sunglasses, yeah.
294
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,120
Polarised.
295
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:37,640
I feel like cool now I've got these
on, though. I think it's helped.
296
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,560
Do you think?
Sun cream we need.
297
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:42,200
Do you need sun cream?
Last time you said no was in Jamaica
298
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:43,920
and you burnt your head.
299
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,520
I don't care about burning my head,
mate.(CACKLES)
300
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:49,600
I can't talk to you with these on.
We're about to go out there and...
301
00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:51,760
The problem is,
this isn't just for our show,
302
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,800
this is being broadcast live on Sky,
on all South Africa's sports...
303
00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:56,280
(BOOT SPIKES SCRAPE)
304
00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,600
Why's that happening?
It might be the spikes.
305
00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:00,200
(LAUGHS) Why are we- ?
306
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,440
I don't think think they're designed
for kitchen floors.(CACKLES)
307
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,760
That is mental, don't stand up.
308
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,600
(LAUGHS) It's insane.
No, it is.
309
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,680
Look, it's all right
once you get used to it.
310
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,560
Right.
311
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,200
Erm, do you want some sun cream?
312
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,080
No.
313
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,240
You might...
What are you do...?
314
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:22,720
What?
315
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,440
I don't wanna get burnt.
316
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:31,000
I have a put a bit... It looks
like I've been paint-balled.
317
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:34,080
I think I should've done it
a bit neater.
318
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,520
It's in my eyebrow. I don't need it
in my eyebrow. There you go.
319
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,280
That's it.
That looks great, Rob.
320
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,440
-Do you want a bit?
-No.
Just on the end of the nose.
321
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,640
Go on, then.
Little bit there.
322
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:45,200
On your forehead?
323
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,880
Bit there. Oh, no. Sorry.
324
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,160
(LAUGHS)
325
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,200
Thanks a lot, mate.
Go out with the old dot on my head.
326
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:56,400
I didn't think about what
-I was doing.
-Unbelievable.
327
00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:59,400
Knucklehead Rob Beckett.
328
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:02,440
Oh, he's Asian; just put a dot
on his forehead.(CACKLES)
329
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,440
I didn't think about what I was
doing. I just... Unbelievable.
330
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,840
I just did it, and as soon as I did
it, I knew I shouldn't have.
331
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,080
That was your instinct.
332
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,440
No, as a friend,
putting sun cream on.
333
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:17,120
Who puts sun cream on like that?
-Nobody.
-I've never done it before.
334
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:20,440
Traditional dot on the forehead.
Right, ready?
335
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:23,720
I've got the dot.
I just need to find a sari
336
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,680
and then we're ready
for the challenge.
337
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:33,640
'Finally, it was our turn
to face the crowd.
338
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,800
And as it was made up of our friends
from the Barmy Army,
339
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,320
we were guaranteed some support.'
Come on, Romesh.
340
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,720
(CROWD CHANTS)
Full-kit, wankers.
341
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:45,320
'Or maybe not.'
Full-kit wankers.
342
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:48,400
Petrified. Didn't catch one
of them in training.
343
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:52,000
10,000 people screaming,
"Beckett, you're shit," already.
344
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,080
I've not tried to catch one yet.
345
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:57,160
I've been we've gotta stick together.
I don't give a shit about Rob.
346
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,200
You haven't got
to be the fastest gazelle,
347
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,960
just faster than the slowest.
348
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,040
And in my mind,
Rob's the slowest gazelle.
349
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,520
And I can't wait to cripple him
while we're out there.
350
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,120
They talk about, "Can they do it
at this level?"
351
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:11,480
I can't do it in training.
So what am I gonna do?
352
00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:15,200
Worst case scenario is ultimate
humiliation, fractured skull.
353
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,480
Second, ultimate humiliation,
-broken fingers.
-Yeah.
354
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:21,120
Rob has got bigger teeth, so he's got
a more to lose than I have.
355
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,760
Do you know what I mean?
356
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,960
If he gets his teeth smashed in,
it's a bonus for the ivory trade.
357
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,160
'The Barmy Army was ready
and waiting,
358
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,400
so we made our way over to meet
England legend, Nasser Hussain,
359
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:37,200
and a Sky Sports TV crew for
another light-hearted grilling.
360
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,000
Who are you and what
are you doing here?
361
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,120
I'm Rob Beckett.
This is Romesh Ranganathan.
362
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,960
I had no idea these tops were this
unforgiving on the nipples.
363
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,960
This is...
364
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,160
If it wasn't sore...
Tuck it in a little bit, come on.
365
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,560
You need to wear a girdle
or something like that.
366
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,360
Oh, it's awful, this is so bad.
367
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,040
It's given me a new respect
for the athleticism of the game.
368
00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:58,720
It's not a flattering outfit, is it?
369
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,240
We'll do some catching cos if you do
get the cricket bug,
370
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,280
you will catch more
than you will bat or bowl.
371
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,600
It's just the nature of the game.
-OK?
-Right.
372
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,400
What are you most worried about?
Well in the training so far,
373
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:10,240
I see it coming down,
panic and run away.
374
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,480
That's my current technique.
375
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:16,120
You've been catching some, so I've
lost it in the head basically.
376
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:20,080
My main issue is I have absolutely
no depth perception whatsoever.
377
00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:22,560
Yeah.
So, I can see there is a ball.
378
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,960
Beyond that, I've got no information.
379
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,120
We have former England captain
Nasser Hussain
380
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,240
who's gonna hit some high catches
-for you.
-OK.
381
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,080
What tips would you give 'em?
382
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:34,200
If I said "soft hands" to you,
-what would that mean?
-Warm heart.
383
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:35,920
So that's bring 'em in.
384
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,320
So, like if you're catching an egg,
give with the egg.
385
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:40,680
Otherwise the egg will splatter.
OK.
386
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,600
You say you've no depth perception.
387
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,280
This is your computer,
-your brain and your eyes.
-OK.
388
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,560
If that's always moving around,
you won't pick up the ball,
389
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,920
so keep your head still as possible.
390
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,960
Good luck, guys.
OK, thank you.
391
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,360
'And so with still heads
and soft hands,
392
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,320
we moved into position
for the challenge.'Go for it.
393
00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:02,440
'To make matters worse would be
commentating over our attempts,
394
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,840
which wasn't helping the nerves.'
395
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:14,600
KP: 'So, welcome to the beautiful
Newlands Cricket Ground
396
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,960
for this very special
catching challenge.
397
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,440
They're each gonna get three
attempts to catch the ball,
398
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:23,400
hit my old mate Nasser Hussain.'
399
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:26,720
We'll do it in front of your new
-friends.
-The Barmy Army. Brilliant.
400
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:28,920
Do you think they've got your back?
401
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,400
No.
They are desperate for us to fail.
402
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,240
I've already had abuse.
403
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,400
But you've been in there,
drinking with them.
404
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,560
Yeah, I know but... Hi, guys.
405
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,440
It's a bit of support.
406
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,680
'When I trained these boys
earlier in the week,
407
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,520
Romesh showed a bit of promise,
408
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,520
so I'm actually expecting big,
big things from him.'
409
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,320
Ready?
410
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:51,600
'Hussain to Romesh, here we go.
411
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,320
He's missed it.
412
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,840
Oh, he should've done better
than that.
413
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:03,000
The Barmy Army are not impressed
with that at all.'
414
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:05,800
Ready?
415
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,280
CROWD: Ohhhh...
416
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,880
'Oh, Rob Beckett.
417
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,200
'I thought I had it.
I did have it, but...
418
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,120
You didn't have it, you dropped it.
Oh.'
419
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:19,760
KP: 'Oh, well, it's still nil-nil.
What's going on here?'
420
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,400
Hang on, hang on,
we've got a change of tactic.
421
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:26,040
I've got...new glasses.
That's what's been letting me down.
422
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,320
So you wear glasses,
but you only had sunglasses on.
423
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:31,560
I only had sunglasses on, but now
you're about to see the real Romesh.
424
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,800
'Here we go again. Catch it, Romesh.
425
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:42,360
Oh, he's missed it. The glasses have
made absolutely no difference.'
426
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,960
(ROB CACKLES)
'He knows he should've caught that.'
427
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,520
Right.
Hands together.
428
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,960
'Right, second attempt for Rob.
429
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,680
He's under it.'
430
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,840
Oh, so close!
431
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,680
Another dropped ball, another one.
432
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,240
He should have had that
and he knows it.
433
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:10,000
What on earth is he doing?
434
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,880
Final ball for Romesh,
here it comes, here it comes.'
435
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,120
Sorry about that, I apologise.
Come on, Romesh.
436
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:21,440
Go Romesh.
KP: 'Oh, damn.'
437
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,240
Right, come on, one more. One more.
438
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:24,920
'Pathetic.'
439
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,400
One more. You've gotta catch one.
'Final ball for Rob.
440
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,480
It's quick, it's up there.
441
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:32,360
He's got it, he does.'
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
442
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,440
Great catch.
The Barmy Army are loving it.
443
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:40,360
Romesh can only watch in disbelief.
444
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,920
Rob's got it.
Rob you biscuit, Rob you beauty.'
445
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,640
He's downing a pint
. I cannot tell you how happy he is.
446
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:50,560
Back to the proper cricket when we
-come back.
-This has been a joke.
447
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:54,080
'Against the odds I'd won,
and I couldn't wait to rub it in.'
448
00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:56,800
Best challenge we've ever done,
-I reckon.
-That was a joke.
449
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,120
The feeling when I caught that ball.
450
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,480
And then celebrated with the Barmy
-Army.
-Yeah, but you're not a winner.
451
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,600
Sometimes you win, sometimes I win.
No, but...
452
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,000
No, but the thing is...
-I'm still talking.
-OK, go on.
453
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:08,520
Surprise, surprise, by the way.
454
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,320
I did drop the ball in training,
but I did it when it mattered.
455
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:13,280
When the pressure was on,
I dealt with it.
456
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,520
There is no pressure.
The ball's passed to you.
457
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:19,800
You lost when they said,
"Full-kit wanker." Your head went.
458
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,360
That's got nothing to do-
Then you changed glasses.
459
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,640
Pathetic, mate.
Yeah, so I can see properly.
460
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,320
Sorry that I want full vision
for the challenge.
461
00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:29,800
So, you can see the sun?
That's the point of sunglasses.
462
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:31,760
The ball was passed to you.
463
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,480
-No way.
-It's not a victory.
And also, by the way...
464
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,160
Rather than acknowledging that,
rather than going,
465
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:38,960
"OK, he made it a bit easy for me."
466
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,400
Yeah.
"I won, but OK." You ran over...
467
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,440
to the Barmy Army and downed a pint
468
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,440
like it was
the most difficult thing ever.
469
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,160
Bottom line is I caught,
one you didn't. One-nil.
470
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,240
Victory in South Africa...
I'm not...
471
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,400
-..for RB.
-I'm not accepting that
as a victory.
472
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,000
You played for your school,
had trials for your county.
473
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:58,880
I never had trials for-
That was my first game of cricket.
474
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,200
On my last go I caught it,
you dropped all of yours.
475
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,880
Do you know what's upsetting?
With different glasses on.
476
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,040
It's not that you caught it, OK?
477
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:09,160
Hm, hm.
It's a bit racist.
478
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,520
It's not that...
How is that... What is that?
479
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,520
..you caught it.
Sharks have got the hump.
480
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:17,760
I tell you what's bad, you putting a
dot on my head and doing that to me.
481
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,360
-See how that looks.
-Exactly.
Let me tell you something.
482
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,240
It wasn't the fact that you caught
-the ball, that's fine.
-Yeah.
483
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,000
It's the fact that you celebrated
484
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:27,520
and now you're making out
you achieved a big thing.
485
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:31,000
-You're out of order.
-It's different.
You know you're out of order.
486
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,560
So, different thing, I won.
You didn't win.
487
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,960
Sshh. Sshh.
You didn't... Rob, you did not win.
488
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,480
-Shake my hand.
-No because-
You want to be civilised.
489
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,440
Zoom up on the handshake.
490
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:43,080
Don't say something like unity
-or something.
-Hope.
491
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:47,480
-Come here. Bring it in.
-I'm not
-shaking your hand for hope.
-Come on.
492
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,240
No, you didn't win that. Goodbye.
493
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,600
I've tried. What more can I do?
494
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,800
The bottom of Table Mountain.
495
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,560
The victorious hand.
OK, bring it to a close, mate.
496
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,320
The victorious hand.
497
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:16,160
Rom and I are in South Africa
498
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,120
getting our heads around the world
of international cricket.
499
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,160
Barmy Army! Barmy Army!
500
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:24,200
Sadly for Romesh, I'd managed to win
the catching challenge.
501
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:25,800
Catch one, catch one!
502
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,040
(CHEERING)
503
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:28,680
And after witnessing my skills,
504
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:32,280
we've been invited into
Talk Sport Radio's commentary box...
505
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:33,960
A wonderful start from England.
506
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,520
..to wow the nation
with my knowledge of the game
507
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:39,160
alongside cricket legend
Darren Gough
508
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,760
and commentator Neil Manthorp.
509
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,640
MANTHORP: Into the over.
All right, it's time to introduce
510
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:49,040
our very, very special guests,
Romesh Ranganathan and Rob Beckett.
511
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:53,440
They're here in South Africa doing
a travelogue, it's fair to say.
512
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,120
You're following the tour.
513
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,920
Yeah, we're doing a documentary
about cricket.
514
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,200
I don't know anything.
Romesh is a fan
515
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,280
and we're trying to discover more
about it. Since the World Cup win,
516
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:06,880
and stuff like that,
and Ben Stokes is becoming
a bit of a national treasure,
517
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,040
we're exploring
the world of cricket.
518
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,760
What a place to start
in South Africa. It's amazing, Rom.
519
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,160
That was a great intro, Rob.
I surprised myself.
520
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,160
When I picked the headphones up...
521
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:17,960
Right, you've got to shut up now.
OK.
522
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,600
Here's, er...
Cool, right. Banter back on?
523
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,120
We're back in. OK, um...
(LAUGHS)
524
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:25,200
No, you need to let me describe
the delivery.
525
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:26,600
Sorry. Sorry. OK.
526
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,520
It's hard doing the commentary
because you've started a story
527
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:33,560
and you get cut off cos he needs to
tell you who they're bowling,
so it's not a great...
528
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:37,160
I wouldn't go on a first date with
someone in a commentary booth
529
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,040
cos you try and get to a story,
you get cut off by cricket.
530
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,960
You've gotta be quiet when the ball
is bowled. Here's Maharaj.
531
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:46,120
Nudged away out on the legside
past square leg for a single
532
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,680
down towards long leg.
Total move to 274 for four.
533
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:50,240
Now you can talk.
534
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,440
That was a lovely little nudge,
wasn't it, Rob?
535
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,440
Yeah, it was. Pressure's on though.
536
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:57,440
I'm constantly trying to think of
what to say and trying to find -
537
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,720
Pressure's on who, Rob?
Who's the pressure on?
538
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,880
Yeah, you said the pressure's on.
On me, me.
539
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:03,960
He's talking about himself,
as usual
540
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,560
He's got no interest
in the actual game whatsoever.
541
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:09,560
Here's Maharaj again. Reverse sweep.
What a brilliant shot!
542
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:11,320
So, in a moment,
543
00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:14,120
towards the end of the stint,
you're gonna have an over each.
544
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,600
There are a couple of golden rules
you need to know.
545
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:19,040
You've gotta be the straight guy
as the commentator.
546
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,720
As the summariser, Goughy,
he's the colour man.
547
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:24,320
Which one of us two do you think
should be the colour man?
548
00:26:24,360 --> 00:26:26,920
(LAUGHTER)
Neither of you.
549
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,600
I'm a bit, I'm a bit pink
from the sun, to be fair.
550
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:33,000
That's the whole point. You can't
get me, I live in South Africa.
551
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:35,680
You're not gonna get me
on the colour thing.
552
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,200
No, I would never dream
of doing that.
553
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:40,600
Right, shut up, Romesh.
The comments man.
554
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,800
Here's Maharaj once again. Last ball
of the over outside leg stump
555
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:47,560
hits the batsman on the pad,
offers no shot. 277 for four.
556
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:50,160
Before we could have a go
at actually commentating,
557
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,600
Neil and Darren showed us
how it was done.
558
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:55,160
He's now on the verge, Goughy,
he's 99.
559
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,320
Oh, and the worst thing,
nightmare for him,
560
00:26:57,360 --> 00:27:00,720
he's on 99, the dreaded 99
and he's got to wait
561
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:04,800
and he's watching his partner
Ben Stokes at the other end.
562
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:09,400
As Sibley focused on making
his maiden century,
563
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:11,160
the tension in the game
was building.
564
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,440
Sibley again
pads this one away outside.
565
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,360
And unbeknown to us,
566
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:19,120
our contribution live on air
567
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:22,240
was already creating a bit of a stir
on social media.
568
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,440
The leg stump.
You know, Rob, of course,
569
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,960
why he's kicking the ball away
there,
570
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,520
not hitting it with his bat.
He's not very good?
571
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:31,480
No, no, he's...
Oh, right, sorry.
572
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:35,280
Cos I'd go for the bat, personally.
But each to their own.
573
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,880
Here's Maharaj once again
down the leg side once more,
574
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:42,320
pitching outside leg stump, Rob,
so he can't be LBW.
575
00:27:42,360 --> 00:27:44,120
Leg before wicket?
Yes!
576
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:45,360
Thank you.
Excellent.
577
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,240
Trying, trying.
Really good, Rob.
578
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:50,000
The big question, he's got the 99,
will he get the Flake?
579
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,040
(LAUGHS)
580
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:54,480
What do you think?
Yeah.
581
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:57,200
That... I'm not a fan of that, Rom.
(LAUGHS)
582
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,120
Less of them, OK?
It's quite a big moment.
583
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:02,600
And then, before Rom could deliver
another hilarious
584
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:06,080
ice-cream-based joke zinger,
Sibley shut him up.
585
00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:08,360
Here's, er, Maharaj once again.
586
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:12,000
Sweet shot from Dom Sibley.
And he's done his hundred!
587
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,800
Sibley sweeps Maharaj for four
588
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,920
behind square leg
589
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:21,360
and in just his seventh innings for
England he's reached the hundred.
590
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,280
Well done, Dom Sibley.
591
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,560
What an epic. 289 for four.
592
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:29,000
Just a reminder that, er, we have
Romesh Ranganathan and Rob Beckett
593
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,080
in the commentary box with us
and one of them
594
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:33,320
is going to commentate
the next over.
595
00:28:33,360 --> 00:28:35,720
Do you wanna do ball by ball
and I go for the colour?
596
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:37,840
Neither of us are doing the colour.
597
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,920
All right.
He's been very clear about that.
598
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:41,600
There's so much going on.
599
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:43,800
So who is it, Romesh?
Is it you or is it Rob?
600
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:45,800
What do you wanna do?
I don't mind going.
601
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:47,840
Is it Rabada?
Kagiso Rabada.
602
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:49,920
I'll just go with Rabada
at this point.
603
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:52,320
I don't wanna get, um, cocky.
So he's, er,
604
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:53,840
he's having a think about it.
605
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:55,760
They're getting into position.
606
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,840
There are a number of players across
the field in different places
607
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,400
and, er, he bowls a very fast one
at someone.
608
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,120
And yeah, he connects
and that's a single.
609
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,760
Solid, solid, solid bat there.
610
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,640
And Darren,
what do you think of that?
611
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:14,760
Yeah, excellent shot there. Rabada
just trying to bowl that tight off
t'stump line to Ben Stokes.
612
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:17,240
Ben Stokes surprisingly now
he's pushing just one.
613
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:21,360
I mean after playing some
unbelievable extravagant shots
so far this morning,
614
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:25,120
he just decided to come one and give
Dom Sibley the strike again.
615
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:28,400
OK, so Rabada coming in for
his second bowl of the over.
616
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:29,960
Another fast one.
617
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,800
True to form, er, he just jumped out
of the way of that one,
618
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,920
caught by number 12
with a little green cap on...
619
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:39,200
(ROMESH LAUGHS RAUCOUSLY)
..and expecting Rabada to go again.
620
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,080
(LAUGHS)
Say as you see it.
621
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:43,520
I think that's fantastic.
622
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:45,640
What else do you want from me,
Goughy?
623
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:49,840
I have a modicum of respect
for the game, whereas Rob has none.
624
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:51,600
So what he had was
625
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:55,920
an ability to just free-flowingly
chat shit ad infinitum.
626
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,440
And it didn't matter
627
00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,040
that he had zero clue
what was going on. He didn't care.
628
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,160
You're here for the info, I'm just
describing what's happening.
629
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:05,480
Well, Rob, there is that crack
outside off stump
630
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:07,440
which I think he used -
I did notice that.
631
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,720
Anyway, third big fast one coming
at him. Let's see what happens.
632
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:13,160
Ooh, yeah, er, again,
I dunno what happened there
633
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,240
but someone's caught it. Goughy.
634
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:19,080
So what happened there is that line
again just outside off stump.
635
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,200
The crack started opening up...
636
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,840
As Darren tried to salvage the
wreckage that was Rob's commentary,
637
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:29,560
it was time to find out
if I could do any better.
638
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:34,280
So Rabada coming in
for his next one.
639
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:39,520
Sibley plays it away to his left
there fairly safely. Gets a single.
640
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:41,320
Beautiful work from him.
641
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:44,760
Whoa! Hang on a minute here!
Do I need to back that up?
642
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:48,800
Absolutely spot-on,
-fantastic analysis.
-Oh, yes!
643
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:52,280
Romesh was great at commentary
because he sounds bored already.
644
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:54,040
You can't...
645
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:57,000
I am not built for that kind of
commentary, I'm too up.
646
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:59,680
I can't sustain that for five days,
eight hours a day.
647
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:01,840
Rabada comes in
for his next delivery.
648
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,360
Is he getting frustrated? We'll see.
649
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:05,520
Ooh!
650
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:09,360
Straight down his throat there!
Unbelievable.
651
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,600
He grabbed for it but to no avail.
652
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:15,000
Am I watching a different game?
(LAUGHTER)
653
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:16,960
It was a short ball from Rabada.
654
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,880
It was a punchy - almost tried to
pull from Ben Stokes,
655
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:23,240
but he didn't quite catch it,
it went back past the bowler.
656
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:25,080
He got one run for it.
657
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,760
Yeah, he did.
Was SORT of down his throat.
658
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,400
Having been put in his place
by Darren Gough,
659
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:31,880
Rom began to fall apart.
660
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:34,400
..by 338, er,
661
00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:35,880
as Rabada steams in again.
662
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:39,840
Er, er, er...
663
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,240
Ooh, he's left that. He's left that.
664
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:46,600
There's no, there's no, er, there's
no buffet ball there, very tight.
665
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:48,600
No point going for that.
666
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:51,760
You're still on the air, Romesh.
667
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:54,440
Er, and, er, that's the,
the end of the over,
668
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:58,160
er, er, er, yes, they're having
a little bit of a break.
669
00:31:58,200 --> 00:31:59,640
Goughy.
670
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:01,560
I was nervous.
Am I gonna be inaccurate?
671
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:05,120
Rob doesn't care about inaccuracy.
Everything he says is inaccurate.
672
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:07,400
He doesn't say anything
that makes any sense.
673
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:09,800
So why would he care about
delivering information?
674
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:13,720
Right, we'll leave you to it, guys.
Thank you very much for popping in.
675
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,320
Been great fun.
676
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:16,960
And with that, our debuts
677
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:20,120
and possibly careers as
cricket commentators were over.
678
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:23,560
Two comedians that you will no doubt
be very well aware of
679
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:25,320
if you're into your comedy.
680
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,080
How'd you find that?
I found it very difficult.
681
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:30,560
I don't think the headmaster's
impressed with us.
682
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,800
You know when you have school
assembly and you're trying
not to laugh?
683
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:35,960
That's what it felt like.
He didn't like me.
684
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,760
He didn't like either of us.
685
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:40,400
Who's gonna be the person of colour
out of us two?
686
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,480
Anyone would think I was trying
to end his career.
687
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:47,720
He went, "Don't worry about me, I've
lived in South Africa, that's fine."
I was like, hmm.
688
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:51,480
I just... The thing was,
I just can't start talking
689
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:54,840
knowing that there's a certain point
which you have to definitely stop.
690
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:57,360
How do you time your anecdotes?
Especially you.
691
00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:59,760
I don't want my banter
692
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:03,160
to be curtailed
by the speed of a man running.
693
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,720
Didn't need the second half of that
sentence, I just don't want
your banter.
694
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:08,400
(LAUGHS)
695
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:24,280
Rob and I are in South Africa
696
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:26,960
watching England play
in the second test in Cape Town.
697
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:31,760
Today we are back on our way
to watch the final day's play
698
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,360
which had the potential
to end in a stalemate
699
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:38,160
and unsurprisingly, Rob wasn't sure
if it was worth the effort.
700
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,120
You're pissed off
it could end in a draw.
701
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:41,720
Not because you support England,
702
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:44,320
but just cos you think
what a waste of time this has been.
703
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:47,040
In all honesty, it's not that
I don't enjoy the cricket,
704
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:48,640
and I do want England to win,
705
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:52,000
but we play 'em again next week,
so it's like: who really cares?
706
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:54,920
I'm enjoying...
(LAUGHS)
707
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:58,840
They're playing again in a week,
who gives a shit?
708
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:02,080
But I'm enjoying the whole
experience of it more than...
709
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:05,520
For me, it's beyond cricket.
Cricket's just a part of it.
710
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:07,880
So it's your holiday with cricket,
basically.
711
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:09,840
Yeah, cos my mum goes bingo...
Yeah.
712
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:12,680
..for the social
as well as the gambling.
713
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:14,920
Right.
714
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:16,880
She's not just there for the bingo.
Sure.
715
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,600
She likes bingo, but she likes
to catch up with her mates.
716
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:22,080
My mum goes to meet up with
-her friends.
-Yeah.
717
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:23,880
She goes to meet up and have a chat.
718
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,680
She also smokes a bit of weed,
but that's incidental.
719
00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:29,240
She doesn't go FOR the weed.
That's cos that's there.
720
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:31,280
Yeah.
You know. Book club, is it?
721
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:32,960
That's right, yeah.
Bifta club.
722
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:36,320
Yeah. Uses the books
to sort of roll up on.
723
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:40,080
Got a new bit of skunk.
All have a go on it.
724
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,640
(STRONG ASIAN ACCENT)
Oh, got a lovely bit of skunk.
725
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:45,120
I'm so glad you did that, not me.
Ranji,
726
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:47,320
I've rolled that a little bit tight,
OK?
727
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,600
Might have to pull on it
-a bit harder.
-Who's Ranji?
728
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:52,400
That's one of her friends.
(LAUGHS RAUCOUSLY)
729
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:57,440
Come on, Ranji, stop messing about
with it. Pass it on.
730
00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:00,960
(LAUGHS) Selmi,
can you pass me the Pringles?
731
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,160
I've got the munchies
something rotten.
732
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:04,800
(SNORTS)
733
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:08,320
There's something so funny about
older Asian women smoking weed.
734
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:09,720
(THEY LAUGH)
735
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:12,280
I really wanna join in with them
but I can't.
736
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:14,480
I can't do
an older Asian woman's voice.
737
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,880
Go on, do it once.
Does she just have - no.
738
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:19,400
Go on.
No!
739
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,720
(BAD ASIAN ACCENT) Oh, Romi.
(THEY LAUGH)
740
00:35:24,240 --> 00:35:26,160
Oh, Romi.
(LAUGHS)
741
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,000
Oh, Romi, I'm coming up.
742
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:30,880
(BAD ASIAN ACCENT)
Oh, Romi, I'm com-
743
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:32,800
I can't do it.
(LAUGHS)
744
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,000
Oh, Romi, I feel sad.
745
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:37,040
Oh, Romi, I had too much.
746
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:39,080
(THEY LAUGH)
747
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:45,480
That's me doing your mum
-four times.
-Yeah, yeah.
748
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:48,720
COMMENTATOR: What a magnificent day.
749
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:50,680
As the sun shone down on Newlands,
750
00:35:50,720 --> 00:35:52,760
the task ahead for South Africa
was simple -
751
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:54,960
bat for the whole day,
drag out a draw
752
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,120
and remain one-nil up in the series.
753
00:35:57,160 --> 00:36:00,040
England, on the other hand,
would need to take eight wickets
754
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:04,320
to claim victory at a ground
they haven't won at since 1957.
755
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,240
I had a feeling
we were in for a good day.
756
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:10,320
However, Rob still hadn't grasped
the significance of this occasion.
757
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:14,200
Day five, Romesh. At what point does
this become a hostage situation?
758
00:36:14,240 --> 00:36:17,040
And although we took
three early wickets,
759
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,360
nothing else exciting happened
for ages,
760
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:22,320
which seems to happen quite a lot
in test cricket.
761
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,120
Oh, no. No, just me.
762
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:27,120
I thought that was something big
there.
763
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:30,920
The big finish I was hoping for
had stalled
764
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:32,800
and even I was growing impatient.
765
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:34,600
This is agonising, isn't it?
766
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:38,800
If cricket keeno Rom was struggling,
imagine how I was feeling.
767
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:42,080
Well, I tell you this now,
this is gonna be a draw.
768
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:46,040
After two hours without a wicket,
I was starting to lose faith.
769
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,640
But the Barmy Army
was as rowdy as ever.
770
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:51,080
COMMENTATOR: I don't know how
they're still going.
771
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,840
The amount that's consumed
before the test match,
772
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:56,720
during the test match,
the evening of the test match.
773
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:59,320
They weren't giving up.
Rob, on the other hand...
774
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:00,880
I wanna see what the...
775
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:03,240
Oh. Rob's asleep.
776
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,200
(CHEERING)
Yes!
777
00:37:09,240 --> 00:37:10,960
Yes!
Come on!
778
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:12,720
Yeah!
779
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:16,040
COMMENTATOR: That picture tells you
all you need to know.
780
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,200
Did you see it?
No.
781
00:37:18,240 --> 00:37:19,960
(LAUGHS) Neither did I.
782
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,200
What Sleeping Beauty and I
had missed
783
00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:25,680
was Zak Crawley catching
Quinton de Kock.
784
00:37:25,720 --> 00:37:26,960
Four more, yes!
785
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:29,440
Whoo!
786
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,400
But South Africa
still had a danger man out there
787
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:33,920
who was holding firm.
788
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:37,720
COMMENTATOR: Van der Dussen,
been there for almost three hours.
789
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,880
Two men catching in the covers.
790
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,280
So, do we dare dream
this could actually happen?
791
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:45,560
I think it could happen.
792
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:49,040
COMMENTATOR: Getting closer
and closer to crowding the batsman.
793
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:51,560
(CHEERING)
Got him!
794
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,400
Yes!
Come on!
795
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:55,760
Yes! Come on!
796
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:58,960
It had taken hours, but we'd finally
broken the deadlock.
797
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,600
Come on. That was good, weren't it?
798
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:02,720
Trouble was, time was slipping away
799
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:04,760
and as the match entered
the final hour,
800
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:06,920
it was looking more and more like
South Africa
801
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,160
would drag out a gut-wrenching draw.
802
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,920
COMMENTATOR: The thought will be
going through their head
803
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:14,200
that there may be too much
to do now.
804
00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:16,440
South Africa still had
three wickets standing
805
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:18,720
and the game was on a knife edge.
806
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:22,480
COMMENTATOR: Tension is high
very, very deep into day five.
807
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:26,800
With Jimmy Anderson injured,
Ben Stokes was called up to bowl.
808
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:29,840
COMMENTATOR: He does have
the X factor, Ben Stokes.
809
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,040
Is he gonna break it open?
What's he gonna do?
810
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:33,280
How's it gonna go?
811
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,160
He looks focused, Stokes, dun't he?
812
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:37,960
Rob's nap must have
done him some good
813
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:42,720
because that was the first
intelligent observation
he'd made all week.
814
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:44,440
Ooh!
And you know what,
815
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:45,920
he was absolutely right.
816
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:50,360
With every ball, Stokes was getting
closer and closer.
817
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:54,880
Oh!
818
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:59,800
COMMENTATOR: Ben Stokes using every
last ounce of energy that he has.
819
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:04,920
But South Africa were holding on.
820
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:07,800
Just.
821
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,720
COMMENTATOR: It's too good
this reverse swing, I tell you.
822
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:14,840
Way too good.
They're fantastic deliveries.
823
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:17,640
The fact that he can do that proves,
824
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:22,440
it just illustrates how much England
support there is here today,
825
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:25,360
how much there's been
throughout this test match.
826
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:27,240
Come on, England!
827
00:39:32,240 --> 00:39:34,680
Yes! Come on!
828
00:39:34,720 --> 00:39:35,960
Yes!
829
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:37,840
COMMENTATOR: It's taken.
830
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:40,480
It's a good take as well
by Joe Root.
831
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:44,120
It's on, mate. It's on.
Two more.
832
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:45,680
Come on!
833
00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:48,320
Stokes had delivered,
and as South Africa's
834
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:51,160
ninth and penultimate batsman
Anrich Nortje came in,
835
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:53,000
even Rob was on the edge of his seat.
836
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:55,760
This ball is the most likely
-to get him out.
-Come on!
837
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:02,520
First ball, come on.
First ball, come on.
838
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:11,320
Yes!
COMMENTATOR: Two in a row.
839
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:13,920
What a catch that is!
Come on!
840
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:16,400
Come on!
Come on, England!
841
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:18,440
Yes!
That was mental.
842
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,760
Yes!
How did he catch that?
843
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:22,560
Yes, England!
844
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:26,200
COMMENTATOR:
Crawley, with a stunner.
845
00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:30,080
It was a spectacular catch
by Zak Crawley and we were back.
846
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,720
I mean I was ready to quit
on this sport... Yeah.
847
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:35,080
..just ten minutes ago.
848
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:38,200
(LAUGHS) It is now
the best thing I've ever seen.
849
00:40:38,240 --> 00:40:40,000
Oh, my God, I'm absolutely buzzing.
850
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:44,720
There was only one wicket standing
between England and a historic win.
851
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:48,160
COMMENTATOR: Now one of the great
cricketers of the modern game,
852
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:49,560
Ben Stokes.
853
00:40:50,720 --> 00:40:53,200
Steaming in.
854
00:40:53,240 --> 00:40:55,640
Bowling with skill, heart and fire.
855
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:58,920
Come on, England. Come on, England.
856
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,960
COMMENTATOR: Hearts are beating fast
all around this ground.
857
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:09,280
Catch that. Yes!
858
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:12,320
BOTH: Yes!
Come on!
859
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:15,560
COMMENTATOR: England win
the second test match.
860
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:17,080
Yes!
861
00:41:18,240 --> 00:41:19,320
Come on!
862
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,440
COMMENTATOR:
For the first time since 1957,
863
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,080
England win in Cape Town.
864
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:26,080
That was amazing!
865
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:27,640
Oh, yes!
866
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:29,880
Ben Stokes had made the difference.
867
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,400
An English hero who never gives up.
868
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:35,160
Just like us.
869
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,040
I always knew we were gonna do it.
870
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:39,440
Yeah, I never doubted it.
I always had faith.
871
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:41,600
And do you know what,
-I enjoyed all of it.
-Yeah.
872
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:44,480
There was never a point where
I dropped out of it and thought -
873
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:46,360
No point did I not believe...
No.
874
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,560
..or was bored by the process.
875
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:51,600
It was an unbelievable end
to the day
876
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:53,920
and to top it off
we were invited onto the field
877
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:55,520
to soak in the atmosphere.
878
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:58,640
Hello.
(CROWD BOOS)
879
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:01,880
Are we getting booed or clapped?
I dunno.
880
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,960
Oh, this is a nightmare.
Yeah, I know this is awful.
881
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,240
This is an absolute nightmare.
They hate us
882
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:09,960
and love us at the same time,
it's horrendous.
883
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:14,200
(CROWD CHANT)
884
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:17,320
What is this?
885
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:21,320
(LAUGHS)
(CROWD CHANTS)
886
00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:23,280
(LAUGHS)
887
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:31,640
Who are they?
888
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:33,880
(LAUGHS)
889
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:36,840
I was just gonna say it's ab...
890
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:39,560
It's so bad that we're,
we're allowed to do this.
891
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:40,960
I know, I feel guilty.
892
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:42,440
Barmy Army.
Yeah.
893
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:45,400
They were going for it even when it
looked like it was a lost cause.
894
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:49,320
They were going for it
the whole way. You and I,
let's be absolutely honest...
895
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:50,640
I gave up.
..we dipped out.
896
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:53,080
I tapped out about quarter past two.
897
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:54,800
And it does feel almost a bit bad,
898
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:59,160
but then when it goes our way,
we're suddenly up for it
-and shouting our heads off.
-Yeah.
899
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:02,440
We didn't support as well as we
could've. We let the side down a bit.
900
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:03,920
I would say I'm a cricket fan
901
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:07,640
if that means that I'm in Cape Town
in 30 degrees
902
00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:10,080
and we win a five-day thriller.
Yes.
903
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,560
We were there, mate.
Two hours it took to get one.
904
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:15,080
I was on my phone, you were asleep,
but we were there.
905
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:17,560
Yeah, I was unconscious
but that's not the point.
906
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:19,080
Right, let's go for a drink.
907
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:20,760
Barmy Army?
908
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:22,800
Billy trumpet's getting a round in.
909
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,480
So our cricket tour was over
910
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:30,680
but we couldn't leave
the Rainbow Nation
911
00:43:30,720 --> 00:43:33,560
without giving Rom one last chance
to catch a ball.
912
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:35,240
Argh!
913
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:36,960
(LAUGHS RAUCOUSLY)
914
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:38,960
Right in the chunder pool that was,
mate.
915
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:40,240
-♪ 10
-CC: Dreadlock Holiday
916
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:42,520
♪ I was walking down the street...
Get it, Romesh!
917
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:47,240
What do you mean get it? It's not
a joint effort, you prick.
You're supposed to catch it.
918
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:49,360
Idiot.
919
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:50,960
Good luck, mate.
Thanks, mate.
920
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,440
Orange bat twat.
What?
921
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:55,920
Orange bat twat.
Why do you have to always
reiterate to my hair, mate?
922
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:57,080
You've got him.
923
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:59,480
Yeah! Oh.
924
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:01,680
Actions speak louder than words,
pal.
925
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:07,560
Yes! How's that!
Yes, Romesh, give him some shit.
926
00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:11,160
Piss off, Bairstow, you wanker.
927
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:13,920
♪ I say I don't like cricket
928
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:15,280
♪ Oh, no
929
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:16,840
Oh!
930
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:19,040
♪ I love it
931
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:21,120
(LAUGHTER)
932
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:23,480
♪ I don't like cricket
933
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:25,240
♪ No, no
934
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:27,920
♪ I love it
935
00:44:30,240 --> 00:44:32,680
♪ Don't you walk through my words
936
00:44:32,720 --> 00:44:34,880
♪ You got to show some respect
937
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:37,280
♪ Don't you walk through my words
938
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:40,760
♪ Cos you ain't
heard me out yet... ♪
939
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:50,920
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