All language subtitles for Rob And Romesh Vs s01e00_Engh

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,920 The following programme contains strong language and adult humour. 2 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:14,240 ROB: Welcome to the special edition of Rob and Romesh Vs. 3 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:15,600 Oh! 4 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:16,920 Wahey! 5 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:18,520 ROMESH: Over the last four years, 6 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,480 we've thrown ourselves into a whole host of different worlds... 7 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,840 To find out what we like... (YELLING) 8 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:26,840 Oh! ..and what we don't. 9 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:28,440 Oh. Jesus Christ! 10 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:29,800 I don't like it, mate. 11 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:31,280 (BOTH SCREAMING) 12 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:32,640 From the catwalks of fashion... 13 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:35,480 -Love that! -I look like an intergalactic flasher. 14 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:39,160 ..to the fields of the NFL... Touchdown! There's the spike! 15 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,840 ...the NBA courts... 16 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:43,080 ..even Jamaican TV. 17 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:46,280 Please welcome Romesh Ranganathan and Rob Beckett! 18 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:49,160 Tonight, we look back at some of our favourite moments 19 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,080 from the past three series. 20 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:52,680 (YELLING) 21 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,320 That's quite good, innit? 22 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,720 Rom. Are you excited about fashion? 23 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,640 I just think that you're not a fashion person 24 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:10,240 if the number one remit for a garment is "Does it hide my tits?" 25 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:12,720 100 per cent. That's why the bomber jacket is good. 26 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,640 You've got your T-shirt down the middle. Tit flanker in the jacket. 27 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:18,840 Yeah, that's why I always get excited when it starts to get cold. 28 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,560 -Layers. -Because layers... Yeah. -Layers are your friend. -Oh, my God. 29 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,800 They're such a friend. So what would be your-- 30 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:25,200 What is your physical hang-ups? 31 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,920 You do your top three, I'll do mine. -OK. Stomach. -Yeah. 32 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,280 -Eye. -Eye. I would say the eye is distracting, 33 00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:33,560 but gives you a bit of character. What do you mean by distracting? 34 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,760 Sometimes, when I look at you, I don't know which eye to pick. 35 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:38,760 Sometimes it just goes for bridge of nose. 36 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,960 That is one of the worst things -anyone's ever said to me. -Really? 37 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,320 But sometimes-- Only when I overthink it-- 38 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:45,880 I've known you for ten years. 39 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,440 Are you telling me that over that ten years--Yeah. 40 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:51,480 ..you've had times when you think, "I'll just look at his nose?" 41 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:53,960 If you look at anyone and overthink it, you panic 42 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,480 and don't know where to look. 43 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:58,920 Rob, I'm not a car crash. Sorry, I didn't-- I just-- 44 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,800 It's not just you-- "I don't know what to focus on 45 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,200 "when I'm looking at you." Not all the time! 46 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,680 "I look at your nose to avoid looking at your distracting eye." 47 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:09,440 And also, you said it straight after 48 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,720 I told you it's one of my biggest hang-ups. 49 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:15,040 You're literally--That is bad. Literally, psychologically, 50 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,160 the worst strategy you could have taken. 51 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:20,480 Tell me your three hang-ups so I can shit on 'em for you. 52 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:23,400 Sorry, that was bad. So your belly, your eye, what else? 53 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,040 My arse. Belly, eye, arse. 54 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:32,600 My three... It counts as two separate ones, tits and nipples. 55 00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:35,000 Tits and nipples. Cos if the tits went, 56 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:36,920 the nipples are still a problem. 57 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,400 You can see, like, bulbous lumps through my T-shirt sometimes. 58 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,920 -No, you can't. -You can. And that is what a friend does. 59 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,680 (LAUGHS) OK? Cos I'll be honest with you, I have noticed your nipples. 60 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:50,400 (LAUGHING) But I didn't say it like that 61 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:54,640 because I know how to deal with a human and be a friend. 62 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:59,040 (LAUGHING HELPLESSLY) "I have noticed your nipples!" 63 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,600 The moment had come. 64 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:07,960 It was time for us to do our final photo shoot. In our underwear. 65 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,440 To say I was anxious would be an understatement. 66 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,520 Everyone's got body hang-ups, haven't they? 67 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:17,040 You know? I've got larger than normal nipples. 68 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:22,000 Burger nips, Jaffa cake nips-- Jaffnips, they used to call me. 69 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:25,720 So I'm-- I'm, you know, anxious about them. 70 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,040 But then, they're all gonna be out, aren't they? 71 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:32,040 You know? SO I'm gonna be worried about that, my little dick... 72 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,880 A number of things will cause me anxiety, 73 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:38,600 but I've just gotta get on with it, cos I wanna become a model. 74 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,280 -Boys. -All right, Micky. 75 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,720 -Ah! -The final photo shoot. 76 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,680 We're a bit nervous. -I'msure. -I'm not happy about this. 77 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:52,080 I know this is scary, but I know you can pull it off. 78 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,400 I'm not pulling it off. -Sexy. -Oh, sorry. Yeah. The shoot. 79 00:03:56,440 --> 00:04:00,360 Now, we're recreating the famous David Gandy 80 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,400 Dolce and Gabbana swimwear shoot. 81 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:05,800 It's fine. It is what it is. I've not used any socks, 82 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,360 but, um, let's go with what nature's provided. 83 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:12,040 You can do this, Rob. You can do -it. -So you want me down there? 84 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,760 Yeah, you're straddling this here. Sure. 85 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,040 (LAUGHS) 86 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:18,920 And Rom, you're back here. 87 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,760 So you're straddling as well, but your head's coming this side. 88 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,800 (LAUGHS) 89 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:25,520 (SNORTS) Oh! 90 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,920 (ALL LAUGHING) 91 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,800 So--I feel like I'm in prison. 92 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:47,400 OK. Can you sit-- -Gotta sit upright. -Higher. 93 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:50,400 That's--Oh! (LAUGHS) Sorry, sorry. 94 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,360 Sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, that was so-- 95 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,080 Oh, that wasn't good. I hope that was a sock, mate. 96 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:58,200 I haven't been this close to my wife in about three weeks. 97 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,400 That's better. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that beard. 98 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:04,480 Mate, I can't. Banter off for five minutes. 99 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,520 That's great. You lean slightly over, Rob. 100 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,640 Your body leans slightly that way. 101 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:12,000 My body--Fabulous. 102 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:15,440 It took a while, but eventually we managed to stop laughing 103 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,680 long enough for Nicky to take some more photos. 104 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:20,800 Perfect. Bring your head forward a little bit for me, Rom. 105 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:23,120 We were starting to feel like David Gandy. 106 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,840 That's great. It's heavenly. 107 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,760 Finally, we were becoming models. 108 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,440 Lovely. 109 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:32,840 -Yes! -Oh, God! 110 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:34,720 (LAUGHS) I can't do any more. 111 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:37,640 I'm done, mate! Fuck me! 112 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,160 Oh, fuck! Which way out? 113 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,200 (ALL LAUGHING) 114 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:51,880 Rob and I were in Birmingham, to train with the city's prestigious 115 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:53,800 Birmingham Royal Ballet Company. 116 00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:55,120 And pas. 117 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,680 After watching the professionals in action... 118 00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:59,320 We are bang in trouble. 119 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,680 ..and taking to the dance floor ourselves... 120 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:03,760 We look like shit. 121 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,480 ..it turns out that, frustratingly... 122 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:09,720 Good, Rob... Rob Beckett is one graceful little prick. 123 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:11,560 Welcome to ballet. 124 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,320 Look at that. 125 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:18,840 Oh, check that. 126 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,120 Oh, I actually like having hair this length. 127 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,000 I think it's--Can you imagine you're at a nightclub or something? 128 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,960 Think, "Oh, she looks quite stylish.""Oh, she's nice. Hey." 129 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,680 Oh! Urgh! (ALL LAUGH) 130 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,960 Ahem. Excuse me, mate. Uh, know where the toilets are? 131 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:36,640 Yes, I do, He-Man. 132 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,440 What do you reckon? 133 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,800 I actually think, weirdly, that kind of suits you. 134 00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:45,600 Oh, hello. Am I into death metal? 135 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:49,080 How do I... How heavy do you like my metal? Very heavy. 136 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:52,040 (ALL LAUGHING) This is my favourite. Do you know what? 137 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:55,320 That's the first one that actually looks like it could be your hair. 138 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,800 Yeah, you-- I don't do telly for a few years. 139 00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:00,280 Yeah."What happened to Beckett?" "Oh, he's running that--""Hi." 140 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,040 I'll be on Through the Keyhole. Yeah. 141 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,280 "Yeah, he's just got a lot of gothic stuff." 142 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:06,760 Beckett's opened -that comic book shop. -I love bats. 143 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:09,800 I love bats, comics... Yeah. And rock hard riffs. 144 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:13,120 Yeah. And do you know what's -so good about it? -What's that? 145 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,000 You got the wig, your outfit's compl-- 146 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:17,480 That's exactly how they'd be. -Yeah. -The outfit, yeah. 147 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:23,280 Well, I opened the, um... sort of Samurai sword shop in '93. 148 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,240 (LAUGHS) 149 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,240 Having tried on nearly every wig in the department, 150 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:34,160 it was finally time to be fitted for the wigs we'd be wearing on stage. 151 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:37,480 Oh, hello. 152 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:39,960 And they weren't quite what we were expecting. 153 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:44,160 -Oh, hello. Oh. -You've got a little crown that goes over the top. 154 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,160 Oh, no. (LAUGHING) 155 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,240 It's good-- Loads-- It's closer-- 156 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:53,280 If you just hold on to the sides... What am I playing? 157 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:56,880 What's my role? Paedophile? -Just lower that onto your head. -OK. 158 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:59,320 -Here-- Oh. -Here we go. And move your finger... 159 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,560 Do-- I-- I feel like I need a moustache. 160 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,840 You have got a moustache. -Thank you. -Thank God. 161 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:07,160 Can't go curtains and--Can you imagine he comes on like that? 162 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,960 Are you ready for your crowning -glory? -Yes, please. 163 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,680 Let's spin you a little bit. And this... 164 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:17,480 This'll make--is what instigated the CRB check. 165 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,720 ♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da ♪ 166 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:22,040 (ALL LAUGHING) 167 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:25,160 Hi, um, I've come for the job about the au pair. 168 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,480 OK... Welcome to parents' evening. 169 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,240 I honestly... Your chi-- 170 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:33,200 Welcome to parents' evening. Your child has been excellent this year. 171 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:36,600 I don't think you could look more like a paedophile than you do now. 172 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,200 You look like such a paedophile, 173 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,640 other paedophiles wouldn't hang out with you, you're too obvious. 174 00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:43,760 -I'm the giveaway.Yeah. -The net -would close. -You'd blow their cover. 175 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,720 -As a mate... Yeah. -I think you're -a good-looking guy. -Mmm. 176 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:50,840 But right now, you look so horrible I can't even deal with it. 177 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:54,120 Loom... Imagine this looming over -you. -So disgusting. Just sweating. 178 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,480 Happy anniversary. (LAUGHS) 179 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,200 (ALL LAUGHING) 180 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:02,400 But before we were allowed to strut our stuff in the Bullring, 181 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,200 Marion had one final surprise, 182 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:08,120 as principal dancer Tyrone Singleton introduced us 183 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:12,680 to the perfect way to wind down after a busy day of ballet. 184 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,760 OK, so basically, as a professional ballet dancer, 185 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,640 after a day's full hard work, 186 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,880 the best way to recuperate your muscles 187 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,160 is to dunk yourself in this here ice bath. 188 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:27,160 So... over to you. Good luck. OK. 189 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,560 I'm not doing this. This is mental, innit? 190 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,480 Right, I'll go this side. I'll go-- Just put your-- 191 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:38,120 No, I'm not going in. -It's like doing a shot, right? -OK. 192 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,560 OK, feet. 193 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,480 (YELLING) 194 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,000 Oh, my-- 195 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,120 It's getting cold. It's getting worse. 196 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,440 It's not getting warm! Supposed to get used to it. 197 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:50,560 (SCREAMS) 198 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,640 -Aaah! -Oh, God! Aaah! 199 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:56,280 I can't do this. I can't do this. I cannot do that. 200 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,400 Oh, my God. (BOTH YELLING) 201 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,360 Aaah!(GASPING) 202 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,680 You all right, guys? It doesn't-- I can't-- 203 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,760 It's impossible to do, mate. 204 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:06,720 Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, it's not pleasant, 205 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:09,280 but you've just gotta, like, surrender to the pain. 206 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,480 -You just have to go through. -OK. 207 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,960 I'm not gonna lie, you just gotta jump in, gotta commit, go for it. 208 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:20,320 (BOTH SCREAMING) 209 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,360 (SCREAMING AND LAUGHING) 210 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:32,080 Oh, fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Help! Someone help! Someone help! 211 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:34,520 Oh, fuck me! Someone help me! 212 00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:36,080 Oh... Mate... Fuck! 213 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:39,400 Fuck you, Tyrone! I've not got-- (YELLS) 214 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,200 Aaah! (BOTH GASPING AND LAUGHING) 215 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:46,960 (SIGHING) 216 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,040 God, that is mental. 217 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:54,920 Did the training, done the ice bath, 218 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,840 now I'm gonna spend the next hour trying to find my dick. 219 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:00,520 Let's go. OK. I don't think it's in there. 220 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,680 ROB: Romesh and I had arrived at Lincoln Field, 221 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,840 the home of the Philadelphia Eagles, 222 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:23,120 for the opening game of the season against the Atlanta Falcons, 223 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:27,320 and I was determined to make it a day even Rom would enjoy. 224 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:30,360 Here we are, Romesh. Philadelphia Eagles. 225 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,480 I'm giving you -the full NFL experience. -Yeah. 226 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:34,840 -Tailgating. -Yeah. Booze, food and games. 227 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:36,480 Right. My three favourite things. 228 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,800 What time is the actual game? Fly, Eagles, fly. 229 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,640 No, no, no. What time is the actual -game? -Nine o'clock. 230 00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:44,640 What time is it now? Three? Three. Yeah. 231 00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:46,760 Six hours? 232 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,240 -Yeah. -So we're doing a nine-hour day? 233 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,720 That's longer than my mum's Royal Mail shift, mate. 234 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,640 You gotta soak it up, mate. 235 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:58,960 We were here six hours early to meet the Eagles' 236 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,840 notoriously passionate fans 237 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:04,000 and experience the American tradition of tailgating... 238 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,400 Go, Birds! 239 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:10,320 ..where the faithful gather prior to the game to drink beer... 240 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:12,320 ALL: Eagles! 241 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:13,520 ..burn meat... 242 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:15,200 ALL: Eagles! (CHEERING) 243 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:17,440 ..and shout... ALL: Eagles! 244 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:21,800 ..a lot. (CHANTING) E-A-G-L-E-S! Eagles! 245 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,640 Eagles! Eagles! 246 00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:26,760 -Good!Yeah! -Yeah! 247 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,120 Oh, yeah! 248 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:29,440 Whoo! ALL: Yeah! 249 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:31,920 (CHEERING) Yeah! 250 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:35,720 Whoo! Go, Birds! Yeah! 251 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:38,280 I tell you what, Romesh, I'm fuckin' 'avin' it now. 252 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,720 After nine of these and that shot, I'm into it. 253 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,720 MAN: Go, Birds! That's it. Eagles! 254 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,400 (DRUMMING) ALL: Fly, Eagles, fly ♪ 255 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,240 But to be considered a true fan, 256 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:52,000 you need to undertake the beer bong baptism, 257 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:54,520 which consists of two pints of American lager 258 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:57,280 poured through a funnel directly into your mouth. 259 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:01,760 -Are you ready?Yes! -Yes! To join Eagles Nation? 260 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,960 And the man in the hat is E-Rock, 261 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,680 the self-proclaimed undisputed King of Tailgating. 262 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,120 Yes! 263 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,120 (ALL SHOUTING) 264 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,720 And we drink... 265 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,000 Drink, bitches! 266 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,600 (ALL CHEERING) 267 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:22,960 ALL: E-A-G-L-E-S! Eagles! 268 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,440 Eagles! 269 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,240 (CHEERING) 270 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,040 Yes! WOMAN: Beer gods! 271 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:33,080 That was... Light work! Congratulations, you guys! 272 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,880 None of it on you. (LAUGHS) 273 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:38,120 I'm throwing it out there, Rom. Thanks for that! 274 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,600 I think this might be better than the actual game. 275 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,400 I've got absolutely no doubt about that. 276 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,640 I feel like I'm at an actual frat party. 277 00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:47,560 What I would say is they can't really-- they can't really drink. 278 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,120 I mean--They can't. They can't. They think they can. 279 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,360 What's that? Like, a cup of little... piss beer? 280 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,360 And then those shots! I mean, it's insane. 281 00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,600 What was that? Ribena? But that's what's so funny. 282 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:59,320 It's really intimidating. You go, "Oh my God, they're on it." 283 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,040 You try it and go, "All right, this is Ribena. Nice." 284 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:05,240 I wanna bring 'em to the football. Like, "Shall we do it? Aaah!" 285 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:06,720 I wanna take 'em Millwall, 286 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,760 where they've gotta do 15 pints of Stella then try and watch a game. 287 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,360 Guys, you like to do a shot of Ribena and some piss-weak beer. 288 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,360 We like to do 15 pints and then stab someone in a car park. 289 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,720 I love it. I do love it. I love it. 290 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,200 I've never had this much fun in a car park. 291 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,560 I've never had -this much fun with you. -Aww! 292 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,640 Cheers, Bobby. Let's do it. Tailgate. 293 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,920 Eagles! 294 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,880 Romesh and I are in LA learning all we can about basketball. 295 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:37,360 Our training session this morning had been an absolute nightmare. 296 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,480 Here! That's you! ALL: Ohh! ROB: Yes! 297 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:42,440 And what was supposed to be a post-workout relaxing spa trip 298 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,600 was quickly becoming a disaster. 299 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:49,080 -I don't need water up me arse. -Your colon is the sewer of your body. 300 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,680 My colon's a sewer? 301 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,720 There was no turning back now. 302 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:56,040 I was about to have my first ever colonic irrigation treatment, 303 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:59,320 and to top it off, Rom was coming along for the ride. 304 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,440 -Hi. -Hiya, you all right? How are you today? 305 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,000 -Yeah, I'm all right. -OK, Rob. 306 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,040 I'm Chantilly, I'm gonna be your therapist today. 307 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:10,240 -And Romesh. -Nice to meet you. OK, all I need you to do 308 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:13,480 is just lie on your back -so we can get you started. -OK. 309 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,880 Now, what's your reason you're having the colonic today? 310 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:18,840 Um, a woman--An iPad. Yeah, an iPad-- lady with an iPad 311 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:20,920 told me that it was essential. 312 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,840 -OK. -I don't know the best way to say this. 313 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,160 How much tube will be in my bottom? 314 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:29,440 About a half inch. -Half an inch. -Yes, sir. 315 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,160 And who inserts the tube? Rob will insert the tube. 316 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:35,360 I will help him guide it in, but he will definitely insert it. 317 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,560 So, this is the tube. Oh, for--Shit. 318 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,080 OK, so we're gonna get you started now. 319 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:43,520 -Don't jump.OK. -Just, I want you to breathe and relax if you can. 320 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,720 -Let me have your hand. -Oh, my God. -You just insert it. -Oh! 321 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:50,440 Guide it in. I need you to breathe and relax.(SIGHS) 322 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:52,560 Very good, breathe and relax. 323 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,520 -Oh!OK. -Oh, my God. I'm connecting your speculum. 324 00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:00,440 -You're connecting my speculum? -Yes. Take a deep breath. OK? 325 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,880 Go ahead and turn -on your back. -On my back? 326 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,280 Keep your knees bent, because my hand will be here most of the time. 327 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:07,880 This is mental. OK. 328 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,600 How much are you enjoying your NBA experience so far? 329 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,920 I thought there would be more basketball. 330 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,280 OK, Rob, if you could look over here? 331 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:16,960 -Yeah. -This tube gives you water. 332 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,240 -OK. -So, right now I'm filling you with water. 333 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:22,200 -You're filling me with water. -Yes. I'm going to release the pressure. 334 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,400 Oh, yeah, there it is, that's-- 335 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,200 OK, I'm gonna flush you again. That actually-- that is better. 336 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,640 That is quite comfortable. -Does that feel nice? -OK, good. 337 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:31,040 You're doing really well. 338 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,520 OK, I'll give you a little massage -on the tummy. -Where's that going? 339 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:38,160 This is going--On my tummy? OK. Yes. Here on your sigmoid area. 340 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,160 You're doing really great, mate. 341 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,840 (MACHINE WHIRRING) -Oh! -Well done. 342 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,360 This is good.(LAUGHS) Do you want me to... 343 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,600 Yeah, actually--Right up in here. 344 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,880 Yeah, because you can focus on the feeling then. 345 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,920 (LAUGHS) 346 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,840 Oh! (BOTH LAUGHING) 347 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,280 Oh, this is not good! Oh, no, my botty! 348 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,120 Aaah-- Ohhh! 349 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,120 Chantilly! (GROANS) I'll bring it back now. 350 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:07,600 (CHUCKLES) Oh! 351 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:09,720 And take a deep breath again. 352 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,680 Your stool is starting to release right now. 353 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:14,520 Oh, that's my-- There it is. Oh, Jesus Christ. 354 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,720 (EXHALES) 355 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,040 I don't ever want to look at that tube again. 356 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,520 (LAUGHING) Oh, God! Why are you looking? 357 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,680 Why--I can't! I can't! 358 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,520 I've just seen-- OK, take another deep breath 359 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:30,800 and just relax your core. -Relax the core. -Mm-hm. 360 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,080 Pretty backed up there. 361 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:35,560 -I am backed up, ain't I? -Mm-hm. -That does happen when I fly. -Yeah. 362 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,960 They're starting to break apart, faecal matter. 363 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,280 Oh, Jesus! -There we go. -There we go. 364 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,560 A lot coming out, isn't there, -Chantilly? -Yeah. 365 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,400 Oh, fuck. Please! It looks like a bitter shandy. 366 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,560 Oh, God! (WHIMPERS) -OK. -Oh! 367 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,440 It's a bit red, as well. Ohhh! 368 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,520 -Yeah. -Is that too red? No, that's what you've eaten. 369 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,280 Something in the colon. -Beetroot. -Yes. 370 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:55,600 It's firing through now, innit? 371 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,680 -Oh, my God. -OK. You feel it? It's marching out of me. 372 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,960 Yes, it's the gas pressure. Oh, my God. 373 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,280 And just breathe. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. 374 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,960 Oh, fuck. I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. 375 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,720 Chantilly, I don't like looking at that. 376 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,600 -Oh, Jesus! -There we go, That's a lot. 377 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,640 Oh, my God. That's one of the worst things I've ever seen. 378 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,200 -Oh, my God. -Oh, my God! 379 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,920 It feels like there's been a fire alarm in my stomach. 380 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,400 Are you feeling a little lighter -in the area? -Yes. 381 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,680 OK. I'm gonna send you to the restroom.(GROANS) 382 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:25,640 Rom, will you get out of the way? 383 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,360 Will I be able to get to the -restroom? -You will. 384 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,920 -OK.OK.Good luck. -Yes, -turn to the side. -OK. Oh, my God. 385 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,160 -And--Oh, my God. -Go, go, go. 386 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,360 -Oh! -Thank you. Take your time! 387 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:41,800 That was a good one. (GROANS) He had a great cleaning. 388 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,360 I need a moment. (GROANS) 389 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,120 (TOILET FLUSHES) 390 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:47,960 So, to teach us our routines, 391 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:51,520 Alan hooked us up with some of his friends. 392 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,120 Rob was paired up with his drag mother, Dolly Trolley. 393 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:57,480 -Hello. -Hello, darling. I need-- I need help. 394 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,960 And I was with the sassy CaraMel. 395 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,720 -Hello, hello. -You're a cutie! Hello, how are you? 396 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,480 ♪ Who's a sexy chick? ♪ 397 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,800 I feel weirdly more confident 398 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:11,280 when we have all the makeup and the clothes on, 399 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:14,280 but doing it dressed like I'm going for a run--You feel-- 400 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,760 It feels a bit more-- it's a bit more nervy. 401 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:19,960 Yeah, as if this makes it more -sensible. -I know. It's mad, innit? 402 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,600 You know what'd make this easier? A full face of makeup and a dress. 403 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,880 So before we could learn our routines-- 404 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,000 OK, I'm ready. That's all right, isn't it? 405 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,800 ..we got into character by finding our inner queens. 406 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:34,000 I look like the head of the Asian Metallica fan club. 407 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,120 Oh, she's gorgeous! 408 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,720 Oh, there we go. She's ready for the nightclub. 409 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,560 -That's better, innit? -Yeah. 410 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,840 This isn't drag, is it? Look at me. 411 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:46,600 Look like I've just come out of the toilets at Gatwick. On a stag do. 412 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,640 "Oh, we've got my wig and some shoes." 413 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,000 Lovely. Should we have a strip to Madonna? 414 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,600 Yeah, why not? Let's do it. 415 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:54,720 If this ain't the time, when is it? 416 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:57,520 ♪ Come on, girls 417 00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,200 ♪ You believe in love? ♪ 418 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:03,240 Rob's screwed. He's got no musical ability whatsoever. 419 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:07,920 Here we go, slow, slow, quick, quick, quick, quick. 420 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,000 ♪ Put your love to the test ♪ 421 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,200 So in terms of him having to do something to music 422 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,040 while dressed as a woman? 423 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,720 (LAUGHS) Then you know your love is real ♪ 424 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,400 He's done. Express yourself ♪ 425 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,280 -Lovely. -That was all right, weren't it? 426 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,120 -To be honest? -Yeah. 427 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,600 I don't think we're gonna make you too dancey. 428 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,040 ♪ I can't take this ♪ 429 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,320 And if Rob wasn't gonna be too dancey... 430 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,520 what was expected of me seemed to be the exact opposite. 431 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:39,240 ♪I'm tellin' you Loosen up my buttons, babe 432 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,240 ♪ Uh-huh! But you keep frontin', uh 433 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,280 ♪ Sayin' what you gon' do to me 434 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,240 ♪ Uh-huh! But I ain't seen nothin' 435 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:47,800 ♪ I'm telling you to ♪ 436 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,120 Stop! 437 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:52,800 OK, there's absolutely no-- (BOTH LAUGHING) 438 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,040 There's absolutely no way I'm gonna do any of that. 439 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,520 -That was amazing. -Whoo! Thank you. That was really good. 440 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:01,480 -I know, right? -How long did it take to put that together? 441 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,600 Oh, honey, it took me, like, a day. 442 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:09,000 Honey, I'm gonna take this spirit, this talent and throw it in you. 443 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:13,840 Help you receive it. Let's go. Come on. 444 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,520 ♪ This ain't gonna be easy ♪ 445 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,880 Yep, Cara was a mean task master. Let's go! 446 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:21,680 And if I was gonna have to learn a new routine... 447 00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,880 Fuck! ..I had my work cut out. 448 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,400 ♪ Dah, dah, dah-dah-dah ♪ 449 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,240 Dah... dah... 450 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:33,040 Bend forward. And if you can, look at your booty. 451 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,120 And then whip. 452 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:36,840 Hup, hup, hup. Aaah! 453 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,520 And then down, up. Come on. 454 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,800 -Hold on. -You can-- I'm not gonna be able to do that. 455 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,960 All right, then do-- Yep, yep. Ha, ha! 456 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,040 Anything that requires getting up off the floor, 457 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:48,440 going down to the floor, 458 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,280 any illusion that I might have created is smashed to pieces. 459 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:55,080 I mean, come on. Because I can't get up gracefully. 460 00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:57,560 I watch Cara do it, she's bang, straight up. 461 00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:00,840 I do it, it's like I'm getting up from having a fall. 462 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:04,240 Get up! Up, up! Come on! 463 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,920 Poke that booty out, bring it down low. 464 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,920 Now shake it. Uh! Uh! Uh! 465 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,440 If you stick your tongue out, sometimes it helps. 466 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:12,600 -Uh! -Uh! 467 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,480 Now spin. Ah! 468 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,440 Uh! Uh! Uh! 469 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,360 -Yes! -Oh, fuckin' hell. 470 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:19,960 Oh, no, she's tired. 471 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,480 Oh. No, I'm dizzy. Uh-oh-- 472 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,200 -Holy shit. -Medic! 473 00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,240 Medic! Oh, God! 474 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:30,560 But if our dancing wasn't bad enough, 475 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,720 we were also going to have to lip-sync. 476 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,560 My instinct just tells me, go out there, 477 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:39,120 and if I keep just going "I'm every woman" and just go mental... 478 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:42,000 Yeah... I reckon I could drag it through on energy. 479 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,880 As long as I know that "I'm every woman" bit, that's-- 480 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:46,800 the main bit of the song, innit? 481 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,560 ♪ I'm every woman ( SINGS ALONG) 482 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,280 ♪ It's all in me ♪ 483 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,760 ♪ Anything you want now, baby ( VOCALISING) 484 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:59,160 When I look in the mirror, I just... Naturally ♪ 485 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:01,000 (LAUGHS) I see half an act. 486 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:04,080 ♪ I'm every woman ( SINGS ALONG) 487 00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:07,280 ♪ It's all in me ♪ 488 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,600 I just don't know where the other half is. 489 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,840 And I don't know if I will find it. 490 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,560 ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 491 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:18,920 That was quite good, weren't it? Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 492 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,920 -Really good. -Yeah, I mean--Even if you--Look, let's face facts. 493 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,880 It was out of time, I don't know any of the words, 494 00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:30,000 and I was late to certain points of that quite dramatically. 495 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:31,920 Well, I'm bang in trouble, aren't I? 496 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,800 We all know that. Do you know how I know that? 497 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:38,000 Normally, when we film this, there's a bit of laughter with the crew. 498 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,120 Silence. Just a worrying dread. 499 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,320 I'm in so much trouble. 500 00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:46,480 It turns out lip-syncing isn't as easy as I thought. 501 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,560 And back in the other room... 502 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:54,160 ♪ Our love is here to stay Yeah, yeah, ooh ♪ 503 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,760 Lip-syncing wasn't a problem for me. 504 00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,320 -Uh-huh. Uh-huh. -But my dance routine definitely was. 505 00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:02,560 ♪ My anaconda don't My anaconda don't ♪ 506 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:07,560 ♪ My anaconda don't want none Unless you got buns, hun 507 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:08,840 ♪ Oh, my God ♪ 508 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,400 Cara's such an incredible dancer. 509 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:12,880 Oh, shit! 510 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,280 And I'm so incredibly shit at dancing. 511 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,800 There's one move in particular 512 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:21,480 where I've got to sort of sexily slink to the ground 513 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:24,880 into kind of a pussycat wanting to fuck position, 514 00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:26,800 is the best way to describe it. 515 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,400 (LAUGHING) 516 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:32,520 I can't do it without looking like I'm gonna cry. 517 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:37,240 I've managed to take the light out of her eyes 518 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,040 with my complete inability to work my arse. 519 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:42,560 I mean, I've got the-- 520 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:44,600 (MUSIC STOPS) 521 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:46,200 OK! Um... 522 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,280 (LAUGHS) 523 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:52,040 That was cute. I forgot the music stopped for a second. 524 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,160 I was just so in a trance... 525 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,560 by your, um, floor work. 526 00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:58,600 Ahem. 527 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:02,800 I am very, very, very, very far 528 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,960 from where I wanted and expected to be at this stage. 529 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,560 I've done a shitload of training 530 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,520 and I am nowhere near where I need to be. 531 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:17,880 So between now and the performance, I'm gonna have to work my arse off. 532 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,000 That was your ending, sweetheart. 533 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:24,760 Thank you. 534 00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:34,800 ♪ Well, I'm back 535 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,360 ♪ Are you pleased to see me? ♪ 536 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,120 ROB: Whoa! Yes! 537 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:41,400 -AJ, we're back again. -Yeah. The journey continues. 538 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:45,920 What annoyed me about the last one we did was that AJ really liked you. 539 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,520 You know, like, I wanted to be his pal. 540 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:50,760 -Yeah. -You know, because I'm a big boxing fan. 541 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,000 He's one of the coolest men on the planet. 542 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,520 Do you not think you come across as a bit... 543 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,920 -You're yappy, aren't you? -I'm a bit needy. I'm a bit too full-on. 544 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,960 In your heart... Yeah...you're a wonderful, wonderful person. 545 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:06,880 -Yeah.I love you. -OK. But encased in that... Yeah? 546 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:10,080 It's like the tiniest Russian doll is the good Rob Beckett, 547 00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:11,720 and then around that... Yeah. 548 00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:15,320 ..there's six other, progressively larger Russian dolls 549 00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:18,360 of an annoying prick, -do you see what I mean? -Sure. 550 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:21,320 So once you know that little... Yeah...the tiny one's in there... 551 00:26:21,360 --> 00:26:24,520 Yeah...you go "Do you know what? I'll put up with this."So... 552 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:28,720 someone like AJ's just seeing the Russian doll that's a prick? 553 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,840 Yeah, and also, it was almost like you put on another-- 554 00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,200 another coat of prick... Yeah,..before you met him, 555 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:36,360 because you were so keen to... Be pals. 556 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,840 I think I got him to sign too many gloves. 557 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,720 Well, you-- Eight gloves, right? Yeah. 558 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:42,640 I text him as well. So bleak. 559 00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:46,000 I text him like, the day after we met, saying, "Hey, AJ." 560 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,440 Jesus Christ. Uh, "Good to-- good to meet ya." 561 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,840 I bet you did a little, sort of, trying to put a gag in. 562 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:55,560 I think I did a emoji boxing glove, which I think I regret-- 563 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,000 That was the the day after? -The day after. -OK... 564 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:00,000 And what did he say in his reply? 565 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,840 -Well, he didn't reply. -Oh, no. That's right. He didn't reply. 566 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:04,960 OK, so, then... Yeah. -He doesn't reply. -No. 567 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,400 So you text him again... Yeah...a month later. 568 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,880 And what did you say in that text? "Hey, AJ." 569 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:11,920 -Did you say "Hey, AJ" again? -Yeah. 570 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:15,600 "Hey, AJ, got my tour show next week. Do you fancy coming?" 571 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,120 So desperate. Right? It gets worse. 572 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:21,320 -On the beg. Go on. -So then, that was a week...(LAUGHS)..before. 573 00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:23,320 No reply. 574 00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:27,520 "Hey, AJ."Oh, my God. Did you honestly? 575 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:29,800 -Third? -Uh... A third text? 576 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,760 "Hey, AJ, I've got you on the guest list, plus--" 577 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,320 I think it was, like, ten. 578 00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:37,760 "I'm gonna have to, like, release some. Let me know."Oh, my God. 579 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,800 You put the false pressure on it! 580 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,840 -Oh, my God! -I did say it. But it had sold well, 581 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:45,800 so I did wanna try and sell 'em if he weren't coming. 582 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,080 Nothing. And then I've not replied -since. -Well done. 583 00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:49,640 -Yeah. -Right. Playing it cool. 584 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,040 Send him a text now. I can't, I'm driving. 585 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,240 Give us--No, no, no, no, no, no, -no, no, no. -Look, dude. 586 00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:58,240 -No! -No, dude, just let me text him. What's your--No. 587 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,160 Because he's gonna think I'm a dick. 588 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:04,360 "Anthony Joshua."Oh, God. I wasn't sure, but I thought it'd be funny. 589 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,240 "Hello, mate. I've got you down on my guest list 590 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:09,680 "provisionally coming to my gig." Oh, God! Provisionally! 591 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:11,480 I said provisionally!(LAUGHS) 592 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:14,520 Aaaagh!"Do you reckon--" Oh, this is awful. 593 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:15,960 Stop reading. Please stop reading. 594 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,920 Oh, my God, there's another one! -No! -Fuck! Mate! 595 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:20,640 You--(LAUGHING) What did I say? 596 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:23,360 What did I say? I don't wanna hear it! 597 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:25,400 I don't wanna hear! Put a song on. 598 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:27,400 What have I said? "Good luck tomorrow, mate. 599 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:29,880 "Remember, it's just a hobby that's got outta hand."No! 600 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:33,040 "Enjoy it, Beckett." Oh, that's awful! 601 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:34,640 Beckett! (LAUGHS) That's awful. 602 00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:37,480 Because he said-- We were chatting about it. Oh, no. 603 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:40,360 Oh, God, no. Oh! (LAUGHING HELPLESSLY) 604 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:43,320 Ugh!"Good luck tomorrow, mate." Oh, no, I've given him advice. 605 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,080 "Remember, it's just a hobby that's got outta hand."Oh, no! 606 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,920 Why've I given AJ adv--Why did you sign it Beckett like you're mates? 607 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:50,720 I'm trying to be friends with him, ain't I? 608 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,360 I'm really trying hard to be friends with Anthony Joshua. 609 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:57,400 -Oh,God. -Fucking hell, that's good. (LAUGHS) 610 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,560 When we interview him, you are gonna bring that up immediately. 611 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:02,680 100 per cent. First thing. 612 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,680 So we're gonna look at Rob's, then? Yeah, sure. 613 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,080 -Oh. -Yeah. I wanted to do more, 614 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,520 but I thought the point of restriction was to not. 615 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:15,800 But it looks more like a burger, doesn't it? 616 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:18,720 Maybe it needs a bit of freedom. Maybe this-- 617 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:21,160 this is restriction, and now freedom's here. 618 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:23,680 -Yeah? -I think we made a coll-- 619 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:27,280 Ooh. It's a freedom-restriction collab. 620 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:29,920 -Yes! -There he is. 621 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,960 But if that's Romesh's... Yeah, you've gotta do yours now. 622 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,320 -All right. -This is Rob's. 623 00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:41,200 (LAUGHS) Fucking hell! 624 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,640 It got on his teeth. It went in my mouth! 625 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:47,680 I was fine with it, it went in my mouth. 626 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:51,640 (BOTH LAUGHING) Go on, make your mark. 627 00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:53,480 What are you doing? 628 00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,760 Oh, yours actually looks like a face. 629 00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:01,680 Oh, my-- Fuck's-- You look like a pirate. 630 00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:04,840 -You hit me so hard. -Sorry, sorry. You went like that. 631 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:08,680 It was so forceful, it went -in my mouth. -I'm so sorry. 632 00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,440 Oh, there's a bit of wood there! (LAUGHS HELPLESSLY) 633 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,000 (BOTH LAUGHING) Oh, God! 634 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,600 Oh! (BOTH SIGHING) 635 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:23,640 Oh! Do you know what? I think maybe I need a bit of restriction. 636 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:25,440 Oh! 637 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:29,520 Now that we've been initiated as honorary safari rangers, 638 00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:32,480 head vet William Fowlds had a special job for us. 639 00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:35,320 OK, so the plan is to do a management procedure 640 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:36,800 on a female white rhino. 641 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:38,680 -OK. -Uh, she hasn't conceived, 642 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,560 so we just wanna make sure that that is the case. 643 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:45,120 OK. So how did you find out if she's -pregnant? -We're gonna scan her. 644 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,560 That's the 100 per cent way -of doing it. -Yeah. 645 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,360 If she's positive, she's definitely pregnant. 646 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:53,600 -OK. -It's a rectal scan, but in order to get the probe in, 647 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:57,640 we've gotta clear out her rectum of all that digested grass. 648 00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:01,520 -Yeah. -So what I need you to do is help me clear out the rectum. 649 00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,880 There's a lot of grass there, they eat an enormous amount of food. 650 00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:07,840 It sounds like you're saying that we're gonna clear out the rectum. 651 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:10,080 Yeah, that's exactly what you're gonna be doing. 652 00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:11,920 -Rectum's the arse, innit? -Yes. 653 00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:19,880 Clearly, we've become the go-to guys for faecal-related challenges. 654 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,200 But before we could get stuck into the task at hand, 655 00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:27,200 we had to locate the rhino, which meant, as William took to the air... 656 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:30,560 MAN ON RADIO: The signal is in that direction you're flying now. 657 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,840 ..we followed in hot pursuit on the ground. 658 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:37,400 Rob, I'm gonna tell you this now. -Mate. -Genuinely buzzing. 659 00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:39,440 We're trackin' a rhino! 660 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:42,360 -See the chopper. -The chopper. 661 00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:48,440 There's info on rhinos if you wanna look? 662 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:51,160 Thanks, I'm all right. Don't know if we'll see a rhino. 663 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:52,800 I'm seeing a bellend. What's that? 664 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:55,520 Huh? Nothing. (LAUGHING) Can't hear a word! 665 00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:57,640 MAN ON RADIO: There's the signal. 666 00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:01,680 William had spotted our rhino. But there was a problem. 667 00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:05,320 Oh, yeah. There were two of them. 668 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:08,680 So what will we do with the other rhino? What happens there? 669 00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:10,760 -We'll do one each. -One each? 670 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:12,080 All right. 671 00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:14,800 OK, I won't be doing that after, I'll tell you.(GROANS) 672 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:18,800 Now in our sights, William will need to put the two-ton animal to sleep. 673 00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:21,440 Yeah, it looks good. You can dart when you're ready. 674 00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:22,960 Yeah, let's go. 675 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:26,000 And surprisingly, it wasn't by watching an hour of cricket, 676 00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:30,800 but a jumbo-sized tranquilliser... (DART FIRES) ..to the arse. 677 00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:34,480 WILLIAM ON RADIO: OK, the dart is in. 678 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,520 As soon as the rhino goes down, we move in. 679 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:40,720 Oh, my God. And you grease up your arm. 680 00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:44,000 With the arse dart taking just minutes to kick in, 681 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,360 the team swings into action. 682 00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:52,840 But with the danger of the other rhino charging in at any moment, 683 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:54,880 the helicopter heads back into the sky 684 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:57,480 to herd any threats away from the team. 685 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:01,760 I'm a bit concerned about what we've gotta do, though. 686 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,440 Cos we got a two-minute briefing, 687 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,440 but I don't know if that's long enough. 688 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,760 I'd argue that the hand up the arse stuff 689 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:11,000 should have been a bit more detailed before it was started. 690 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:16,000 I mean, I suppose, what can you say? -Put it up there, scoop it out. -Yeah. 691 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:22,560 So with one rhino on the run and another out for the count... 692 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:24,360 Guys, I'm going rectal. 693 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:27,160 Because he'd lost the spitting challenge, Rob was going in first. 694 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,720 Give me your hand here. As much lube as possible. 695 00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:32,600 Happy to do anything for the lady. (BOTH LAUGHING) Oh, God! 696 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:34,840 All right, in you go. Good luck, Bob. 697 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:36,920 OK. I'm bit too eager there, ain't I? 698 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:38,680 -So just do it like that? -Yeah. 699 00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,160 And you'll feel the difference between squishy membranes... 700 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,160 (GAGS)..and grass. I don't like it, mate. 701 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,120 Still glad we're missing the cricket, you prick? 702 00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:48,680 Rob was first up. I hoped he was only up. 703 00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,840 -Oh! -There we go. Well done. First one. Next. 704 00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:54,400 -Next. -You have a go. 705 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:57,200 You're not done. Where's your glove? I can't do it. 706 00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,480 I don't-- I don't wanna go back in. Don't wanna go back in. 707 00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,480 Rob lost his temper. 708 00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:06,240 Oh, mate-- (LAUGHS) Do you-- Look, get your glove on! 709 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:09,160 Why's he not got a glove on? Someone get him a glove. 710 00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:13,200 I think we ran out of gloves, eh? Get him a glove or we'll fall out. 711 00:34:13,240 --> 00:34:15,000 There's no way we've come this far 712 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:17,560 for only one of us to go up that rhino. 713 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:20,760 In you go, boy. There you go, bit of lube, come on. 714 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,240 -OK. Straight in. -So, you'll feel the wet, moist membranes, 715 00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:26,480 and then just keep going until you feel the grass balls. 716 00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:28,320 I have to get really in here. 717 00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,760 I think it's coming out of her mouth. You might wanna ease off. 718 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:36,720 The inside of a rhino's arse is... is distinctly unpleasant, 719 00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:39,400 and that's even before we talk about the smell. 720 00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:42,720 My arm, I think for the next six to eight months 721 00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:45,680 is gonna smell like the inside of that rhino. 722 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:51,480 So, having got closer to a rhino than we'd ever expected to, 723 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:53,720 it was time for head vet William... 724 00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:56,120 He's gone there, mate, ain't ya? Fully in. 725 00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:58,080 ..to make his assessment. 726 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,040 Not pregnant. -Not pregnant. -Not pregnant. 727 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:05,320 So there's a slight chance that... 728 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,040 that uterus is just still out of my reach. 729 00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:10,760 I don't think you could have give any more there, mate. 730 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:15,200 We're going to see if we can pick -it up on the blood test. -OK. 731 00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:17,800 ♪ It's the Circle of Life ♪ 732 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:21,840 So now we're waiting on the blood tests to see if she was pregnant. 733 00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:25,160 Some would argue, just do the blood tests, but, you know. 734 00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:29,960 Think there's a strong argument for that. 735 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:31,680 (LAUGHS) 736 00:35:31,720 --> 00:35:33,600 (WHISPERS) This is insane. 737 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,360 -What's going on? -I thought I lost my phone. 738 00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:40,120 What, you left it up there? Like, I'd go back in. Ring it. 739 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:42,160 That was unbelievable. 740 00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:46,720 I mean, rhino shit aside, that was truly amazing. 741 00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:49,200 Missing the cricket to do something like this 742 00:35:49,240 --> 00:35:53,680 was actually pretty special, but I am now itching to get back. 743 00:35:53,720 --> 00:35:59,960 ♪ The Circle of Life ♪ 744 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,240 It was the end of our first day in Jamaica, 745 00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:14,840 and so far we'd learned nothing about Usain Bolt. 746 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,240 I was hoping we could finally discuss the interview 747 00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:18,840 over some dinner. 748 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:21,360 It's like the, uh... a date scene off Love Island. 749 00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:23,440 If you take Usain-- What's with your tongue? 750 00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,200 Your tongue hovers when you eat. If you take Usain Bolt-- 751 00:36:26,240 --> 00:36:29,000 Go on, eat that again. No, I was about to eat-- 752 00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,040 Yeah, when you do that, you go... 753 00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:34,600 It's that little lizard. I was debating whether--Show me. 754 00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:36,480 There he is. 755 00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:40,000 -I don't do that. -Youdo. 756 00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,240 Well, that's this meal ruined. (LAUGHS) 757 00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:47,360 I'll drink, unless my dick comes out when I do that.(LAUGHS) 758 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:52,120 Oh! (CHUCKLES) Hello. 759 00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:54,200 (SIGHS) It's nice chatting, ain't it? 760 00:36:54,240 --> 00:36:57,000 Feels like it's run its course a bit, but yeah. 761 00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,640 It was re-- (LAUGHS) 762 00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:02,120 What's wrong with you? (LAUGHING) 763 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:06,880 Fair play, you owned how you eat now. 764 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:09,400 (LAUGHS) Carry on with your story? 765 00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:12,760 (LAUGHING HELPLESSLY) 766 00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:20,560 Why are you doing, -like, a villain laugh? -Oh! 767 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:22,880 Oh, it's so disgusting! 768 00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:25,800 You're like some sort of tofu perv. 769 00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:30,280 As the sun set on day two of our time in Jamaica, 770 00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,880 there was still one thing left to do. 771 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:37,120 Unbelievably, we're about to dance live on national television. 772 00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:41,960 ( DANCEHALL SONG PLAYS) 773 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:45,680 When we arrived at the TV broadcast, filming had already begun, 774 00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:48,160 and as the first acts took to the stage, 775 00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:50,280 even I started to have some doubts. 776 00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:57,160 We weren't due on stage for over an hour, 777 00:37:57,200 --> 00:38:00,080 so we had time for some desperate last-minute practice. 778 00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:08,960 How are you feeling? I don't-- I sort of, uh... 779 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,440 It's OK practising up here, 780 00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,840 but when we're actually out there... Yeah. 781 00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:15,480 ..you're gonna properly shit yourself. 782 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:17,080 I've had four whiskies. 783 00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:25,240 Our mentors and partners from the Ravers Clavers had arrived, 784 00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:28,400 but even they couldn't give us a much needed confidence boost. 785 00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:32,840 It's just so intense here, it's so loud. 786 00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:37,880 Um, it's intense, it's terrifying, it's intimidating. 787 00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:39,840 And it's Rob's fault. 788 00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,520 It's all Rob's fault that we're here doing this. 789 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,520 The Clavers were not looking for new members. 790 00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:48,560 And now we're here, like a pair of pricks, 791 00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:50,280 going to do this thing. 792 00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:51,680 We're gonna die tonight. 793 00:38:51,720 --> 00:38:54,840 We're gonna die, and I don't mean in a comedic, nobody's laughing, 794 00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:58,080 I mean, somebody will kill us for insulting their culture. 795 00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:04,480 The waiting was torture, 796 00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:07,760 but finally, we were given the call to head backstage. 797 00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:10,640 We would be on after the next commercial break. 798 00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:12,680 Oh, I feel so sick. 799 00:39:12,720 --> 00:39:16,320 That is the worst we've ever done. The most-- The most nervous. 800 00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:18,600 This is possibly the most nervous I've ever been. 801 00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:21,680 I'm more nervous now than I was my first ever gig. 802 00:39:21,720 --> 00:39:24,120 Because deep down, I always knew I could be funny, 803 00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:26,320 but deep down I know I cannot dance. 804 00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:29,640 I felt like reminding Rob for the tenth or 12th time 805 00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:32,920 that he was completely responsible for what was about to happen, 806 00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:35,720 but as the presenter had stepped up to introduce us, 807 00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:37,320 our time had come. 808 00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:39,760 All right, we have something special for you. 809 00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:43,880 Please welcome to the stage, all the way from the UK, 810 00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:49,120 Romesh Ranganathan and Rob Beckett, joined by the Ravers Clavers! 811 00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:50,640 (HORNS BLARE) -Oh, God. -Oh, shit. 812 00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:54,320 We were about to dance live on Jamaican national television. 813 00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:56,680 -Oh, God! -Fuck me. 814 00:39:56,720 --> 00:39:58,280 ♪ Shake, shake, shake, all right 815 00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:03,480 ♪ Shake dat ting Miss Kana Kana Shake dat ting Miss Annabella 816 00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:07,600 ♪ Shake dat ting yan Donna Donna Jodi and Rebecca 817 00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:10,960 ♪ Woman, get busy Just shake dat booty non-stop ♪ 818 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,880 We'd barely started, and people were already laughing at Rob. 819 00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:17,200 Now I'm not saying I was good, but he was shocking. 820 00:40:17,240 --> 00:40:18,400 ♪ Don't take pity 821 00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,640 ♪ Me wah fi see you get live 'pon di riddim when me ryde 822 00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:23,560 ♪ And me lyrics a provide electricity 823 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,160 ♪ Gyal nobody cah tell you nuttin' 824 00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:27,280 ♪ Ca you don't know your destiny 825 00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:29,440 ♪ Yo sexy ladies want par wid us 826 00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:32,040 ♪ Inna di car wid us Dem nah war wid us 827 00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:34,280 ♪ Inna di club dem wah flex wid us 828 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:37,200 ♪ To get next to us Dem cah vex wid us 829 00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:39,240 ♪ From di day me born Jah ignite me flame 830 00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:41,920 ♪ Gyal a call me name And it is me fame 831 00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:43,960 ♪ It's all good, girl turn me on 832 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:47,400 ♪ 'Til a early morn' Let's get it on ♪ 833 00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:49,200 (CHEERING) (HORNS BLARING) 834 00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:51,640 Even though we'd made complete fools of ourselves, 835 00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:53,880 we weren't finished just yet. 836 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:57,000 ♪ Murder, she wrote Fi real, fi real 837 00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,360 ♪ Murder, she wrote 838 00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:01,880 ♪ Murder, she wrote (LAUGHS) 839 00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:03,720 ♪ Murder, she wrote 840 00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:07,000 ♪ Watch ya now, it name A pretty face and bad character 841 00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:08,600 ♪ Dem the kinda livin' can't hold 842 00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:10,160 ♪ Chaka, follow me! A pretty face-- ♪ 843 00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:12,160 Mate. 844 00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:15,920 Oh, God, I-- I just can't believe it. 845 00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:20,840 Oh, my God. When they-- I honestly-- I felt so sick. 846 00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:23,440 -Love you, Rommy. -All right. Listen, do you know what? 847 00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:25,600 I'm gonna go get you a beer. 848 00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:33,120 Our time in New York was nearly over, 849 00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:35,640 but David had arranged a final rendezvous 850 00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:39,040 at one of the city's most iconic locations, Times Square. 851 00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:46,040 And he's not here. (SIGHS) 852 00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:50,880 Well, I say give it five minutes and then let's just leave. 853 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,880 He said eight o'clock sharp, here. 854 00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:57,120 He said opposite the Starbucks, the Paramount Building and the flag, 855 00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:58,960 so we're in the right place. 856 00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,120 He said, "I'll see you there at eight." 857 00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:04,480 He dropped a pin and gave me the exact location. 858 00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:07,560 Where-- 859 00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:11,920 But he said it's bit muggy. 860 00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:14,360 What? 861 00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:16,200 He's not coming, Rob. 862 00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:18,880 Oh. 863 00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:23,160 That's the worst thing ever. 864 00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:26,480 Oh, shitting hell. That is so horrible. 865 00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:29,840 This is unbelievable. 866 00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:33,360 I've been so... 867 00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:35,400 (BOTH LAUGHING) What the shit? 868 00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,320 Oh, my God. That is so... 869 00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:41,360 That's the worst thing I've ever seen. 870 00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:44,200 Why? What is it advertising? 871 00:42:44,240 --> 00:42:46,160 (LAUGHS) What is it advertising? 872 00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:48,240 Oh, they're not-- people are notic-- Oh. 873 00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:49,800 Oh, Christ. 874 00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:55,720 (LAUGHS) Oh, my God, my tits. 875 00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:57,880 Look at my tits, Romesh. 876 00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,280 Look at my-- It's all right for you! 877 00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,040 Look at my tits! 878 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:04,160 In the middle of Times Square! 879 00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:06,880 Oh, my God. 880 00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:08,720 I seriously took one for the team. 881 00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:12,520 -You're loving this. -I'm not-- Look at that! That's all me! 882 00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:14,560 (BOTH LAUGHING) 883 00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:20,160 Are you Rob? Yeah. No, that's not me. 884 00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:23,360 -Are you Rob? -No, that's not me. We just look like them. 885 00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:26,760 -Please. -Oh, for God's sake. Look! 886 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:29,320 It's so horrible. -Don't you love it? -No. 887 00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,400 ♪ You've got the look You've got the look ♪ 888 00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:34,240 It looks like we're advertising ourselves as a couple. 889 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,040 Oh, my God. This is-- 890 00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,000 ♪ Closin' time, ugly lights ♪ 891 00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:43,080 Don't look that big from up here. 892 00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:45,080 They look fuckin' enormous from here. 893 00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:47,520 ♪ But you are a natural beauty Unaffected ♪ 894 00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:49,840 Rob, it's not gonna change. 895 00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:52,960 Your tits ain't gonna shrink, mate. Let's just go. 896 00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:56,160 (LAUGHING) Let's go kill Gandy. 897 00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:59,480 ♪ Versace on the floor 898 00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:03,360 ♪ Ooh 899 00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:06,080 ♪ Take it off for me For me, for me 900 00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:08,120 ♪ For me now, girl 901 00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:10,720 ♪ Versace on the floor 902 00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:14,320 ♪ Ooh 903 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:17,080 ♪ Take it off for me For me, for me 904 00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,000 ♪ For me now, girl 905 00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:24,120 ♪ Versace on the floor ♪ 906 00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,360 AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk 73844

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.