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1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:01,173
♪ Go Ninja! ♪
2
00:00:01,250 --> 00:00:02,920
(Randy) I was chosento protect my school
3
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,330
from the forces of evil.
4
00:00:04,375 --> 00:00:05,785
I am the Ninja.
5
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,955
I am Randy Cunningham.
6
00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,747
Mmm... meow...
7
00:00:21,709 --> 00:00:24,459
Cunningham! How are you
asleep right now?! Get up!
8
00:00:24,542 --> 00:00:27,672
Uh, huh. Why?
Emergency? Monster? McFist?!
9
00:00:27,750 --> 00:00:30,330
It's 5:58 am.
Or as I like to call it:
10
00:00:30,417 --> 00:00:33,667
(crying sound)
My birthday!
11
00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:37,670
I would'a let you sleep, but I knew you
couldn't wait to show me what you got me.
12
00:00:37,750 --> 00:00:40,750
-Got you? For your birthday?
-I mean, it's gotta be big.
13
00:00:40,834 --> 00:00:43,544
(chuckles) After what happened
last year...
14
00:00:43,625 --> 00:00:45,745
♪ You did itYou birthdayed ♪
15
00:00:45,834 --> 00:00:47,174
♪ You've aged another year ♪
16
00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:49,290
♪ Have a freebirthday sundae cake ♪
17
00:00:49,375 --> 00:00:51,285
It's vegan. Hmm.
18
00:00:51,375 --> 00:00:52,625
Hey, Howard, what's going on...
19
00:00:52,709 --> 00:00:55,539
Aah! I forgot your birthday!
20
00:00:55,625 --> 00:00:58,125
You promised that
you'd never forget again.
21
00:00:58,208 --> 00:01:00,628
And I didn't!
I didn't.
22
00:01:00,709 --> 00:01:03,169
So... whattaya got?!
Oh, I'm so excited!
23
00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:04,670
Wait, wait don't tell!
No, tell me!
24
00:01:04,750 --> 00:01:06,670
Wait, don't tell me!
No, tell me! Wait don't tell me!
25
00:01:06,750 --> 00:01:07,920
Yeah, No, no, no. OK, tell me.
26
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,210
Wait don't tell me. No, tell me.
27
00:01:09,291 --> 00:01:11,041
Wait don't tell me!
Yeah, no, no, no. OK, tell me.
28
00:01:11,125 --> 00:01:13,415
-(Nomicon hums)
-(screaming)
29
00:01:14,583 --> 00:01:16,213
Hm?
30
00:01:16,291 --> 00:01:18,131
Uh, I know,
I forgot Howard's birthday!
31
00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:19,748
How could I forget?
I'm a terrible friend.
32
00:01:19,834 --> 00:01:21,794
Come on, you gotta help me!
33
00:01:21,875 --> 00:01:24,035
Hm.
"Sometimes protecting someone
34
00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:26,245
is the most dangerous
thing a Ninja can do."
35
00:01:26,333 --> 00:01:29,083
Protecting... Nomicon,
that's it! If I lie to Howard,
36
00:01:29,166 --> 00:01:30,666
I can protect him
from knowing I forgot.
37
00:01:30,750 --> 00:01:33,380
You really got my back
on this one Nomi-cuz.
38
00:01:33,458 --> 00:01:34,748
(sighs)
39
00:01:36,291 --> 00:01:37,711
Wait, don't tell me.
No, tell me!
40
00:01:37,792 --> 00:01:40,292
-Oh, I'm gonna tell you.
-Yes, tell me!
41
00:01:40,375 --> 00:01:43,625
-I'm gonna tell ya!
-Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me!
42
00:01:43,709 --> 00:01:45,789
Oh... you, uh... Ri...
You wanna know right now?
43
00:01:45,875 --> 00:01:49,165
You wanna know what it is
right now... Ahh... uh...
44
00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:51,920
-Eye...
-You what?
45
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,830
(Randy) Ham... tank-ing...
46
00:01:55,917 --> 00:01:58,917
...yo... toe... um...
47
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,830
You ham taking me toe where?
48
00:02:00,917 --> 00:02:02,787
I, uh...
Space-Fist One!
49
00:02:02,875 --> 00:02:05,125
Is what eye ham tanking yo toe!
50
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:06,788
Space-Fist One?
51
00:02:06,875 --> 00:02:09,165
Yeah, you love space.
It's like your favorite thing.
52
00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:12,380
It is? Ooh... it is!
Ho-ho-ho!
53
00:02:12,458 --> 00:02:14,378
-Hah-hah-hah!
-Hmm-hmm-hmmm!
54
00:02:14,458 --> 00:02:15,628
Hep-hep-hep!
55
00:02:15,709 --> 00:02:18,709
Hm. Could you give me a minute?
56
00:02:18,792 --> 00:02:21,132
I am... not having pants on.
57
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:22,418
(groans)
58
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:25,790
Space-Fist One! It's glorious...
59
00:02:25,875 --> 00:02:27,205
Why did I build it again?
60
00:02:27,291 --> 00:02:28,631
To explore the stars
61
00:02:28,709 --> 00:02:31,129
and further mankind's
understanding of the universe.
62
00:02:31,208 --> 00:02:33,628
-What? That's a terrible idea.
-I'm kidding.
63
00:02:33,709 --> 00:02:38,999
We're launching a satellite that targets
the Ninja and blasts a Raptor-Bot at him.
64
00:02:39,083 --> 00:02:40,883
We live in a golden age,
don't we?
65
00:02:40,959 --> 00:02:45,829
Unfortunately, Norrisville's beloved
Ape-stronaut Neil Apestrong has retired.
66
00:02:45,917 --> 00:02:48,707
I heard he promised his
old lady he'd never fly again.
67
00:02:48,792 --> 00:02:50,082
Ha! What a wimp.
68
00:02:50,166 --> 00:02:52,916
We need to find
a replacement pilot.
69
00:02:54,917 --> 00:02:57,707
Ooh! This one might
have the stuff.
70
00:02:57,792 --> 00:03:00,672
(retching)
I'm sorry...
71
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,750
This never happens...
72
00:03:03,834 --> 00:03:06,634
Oh, there's the stuff!
He's gettin' it all over the place!
73
00:03:07,583 --> 00:03:10,753
Ah? Ah?
Pretty Bruce-tastic, right?!
74
00:03:10,834 --> 00:03:12,634
-What's wrong buddy?
-I dunno...
75
00:03:12,709 --> 00:03:14,459
Looking at
a spaceship for my birthday?
76
00:03:14,542 --> 00:03:17,002
I mean, you had a whole year to plan it
and it just kinda feels...
77
00:03:17,083 --> 00:03:20,833
Oh! Wait a second... you're messing
with me! There's more, isn't there?
78
00:03:20,917 --> 00:03:23,787
Buuuhh, you got me.
There's so much more.
79
00:03:23,875 --> 00:03:26,575
Oh, what is it? Tell me.
Oh, wait no, don't tell me.
80
00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:28,077
OK, tell me!
Oh, wait, no, don't tell me.
81
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,626
OK, tell me! Don't tell me.
Tell me! No, don't... Tell me!
82
00:03:30,709 --> 00:03:32,459
Uh, we are going...
83
00:03:32,542 --> 00:03:34,752
Two boards... the shuttle!
84
00:03:34,834 --> 00:03:37,714
Yes! That's it! We're going
two boards the shuttle!
85
00:03:37,792 --> 00:03:40,292
You're taking me on the ship?
Why would we go on the...
86
00:03:40,375 --> 00:03:44,745
-Oh, I get it. Ho-ho-ho!
-Ha-ha-ha!
87
00:03:44,834 --> 00:03:46,924
-Hm-hm-hmm!
-Hep-hep-hep!
88
00:03:48,375 --> 00:03:50,825
So...
89
00:03:50,917 --> 00:03:52,627
-To the ship!
-Ha!
90
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:03,248
How do we get this door open?
91
00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:04,793
(electronic voice)
Door. Open.
92
00:04:04,875 --> 00:04:06,035
Hm.
93
00:04:06,125 --> 00:04:08,285
OK, OK.
Can I open up my eyes now?
94
00:04:08,375 --> 00:04:09,825
I never said
you had to cover your eyes.
95
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:12,497
But if I don't cover
my eyes, it'll ruin the...
96
00:04:12,583 --> 00:04:14,043
...surprise...?
97
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:19,830
Cunningham, where the juice
is my surprise party?
98
00:04:19,917 --> 00:04:22,327
Oh, uh...
Surprise... We did it!
99
00:04:22,417 --> 00:04:24,377
This is your idea
of a surprise party?!
100
00:04:24,458 --> 00:04:27,248
Ugh, Howard, I didn't plan
you a surprise party.
101
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:29,963
Then what was all that "Hah-hah-hah,"
"Hep-hep-hep" about?!
102
00:04:30,041 --> 00:04:32,421
You were bluffing?! Did you
not even have a plan at all?
103
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:34,710
What? No, of course
I had a plan.
104
00:04:34,792 --> 00:04:37,672
This was just a... A... thing to do
while everyone was gathering at your,
105
00:04:37,750 --> 00:04:40,380
well, I guess it's not a surprise anymore,
surprise party.
106
00:04:40,458 --> 00:04:42,248
Don't forget
to act surprised, OK?
107
00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:44,423
Oh! Oh, I'll act so surprised.
108
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:45,880
Where we going?
Where's it gonna be?
109
00:04:45,959 --> 00:04:49,539
Uh... PJ McFlubbusters.
For a surprise... birthday... lunch.
110
00:04:49,625 --> 00:04:50,955
That's it, yeah, a lunch!
111
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,791
(electronic voice)
Launch sequence activated.
112
00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:56,875
-What? Launch?! I said lunch!
-(screams) Help me!
113
00:04:59,250 --> 00:05:02,920
-What's with the floating?
-There's no gravity in space.
114
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:07,080
Uh. Some evil genius you are.
It's called grabbity.
115
00:05:08,291 --> 00:05:09,711
Sweet cheese.
116
00:05:09,792 --> 00:05:12,172
I just lunched my best friend
into orbit... on his birthday.
117
00:05:12,250 --> 00:05:14,500
I have to save him...
But how? I'm not an astronaut.
118
00:05:14,583 --> 00:05:16,793
(gasps)
But he is.
119
00:05:21,792 --> 00:05:26,252
-(doorbell rings)
-(monkeys screeching)
120
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:32,380
Captain Apestrong, sir! Sorry to
bother you, but it's an emergency.
121
00:05:32,458 --> 00:05:34,378
I accidentally lunched
my best friend into space.
122
00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:37,128
(both screeching)
123
00:05:42,750 --> 00:05:44,830
I can't believe it.
I'm in space!
124
00:05:44,917 --> 00:05:48,167
I'm freaking out! No way I'll be able to
make my surprise party from space.
125
00:05:48,250 --> 00:05:51,330
Gah!
Gravity button? What's gravity?
126
00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:56,167
(gasps)
Oh... Grabbity. Ha!
127
00:05:56,250 --> 00:06:01,250
Whoever labeled that button must have
not paid attention in skyence class.
128
00:06:05,125 --> 00:06:06,665
(monkey sounds)
129
00:06:06,750 --> 00:06:09,540
I know you promised your wife you'd never
fly again, but I need your help.
130
00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:12,580
Mrs. Apestrong,
trust me, I get it.
131
00:06:12,667 --> 00:06:14,827
I wouldn't ask, but someone's
life is on the line.
132
00:06:17,875 --> 00:06:19,665
Please.
I'm gonna lose my best friend.
133
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:24,923
(groans)
134
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,250
(screeching)
135
00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:36,881
Ape-pollo 13?! So... Bruce!
136
00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:47,747
This one better have the stuff.
137
00:06:49,792 --> 00:06:51,582
(grunts)
138
00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:52,917
He ain't got it.
139
00:06:54,583 --> 00:06:56,673
(Randy gasps)
140
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,250
Look, there it is!
141
00:07:01,375 --> 00:07:03,875
-Are you sure about this?
-(screeching)
142
00:07:03,959 --> 00:07:07,419
(grunts)
Whoa...!
143
00:07:11,875 --> 00:07:13,495
♪ You did itYou birthdayed ♪
144
00:07:13,583 --> 00:07:14,793
♪ You've aged another year ♪
145
00:07:14,875 --> 00:07:16,665
♪ Have a freespace ice cream brick ♪
146
00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:18,790
It's freeze-dried.
(groans)
147
00:07:18,875 --> 00:07:20,705
(Randy)
Hey! Got enough for two?
148
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,382
Ninja?! Yes!
149
00:07:25,709 --> 00:07:27,919
Oh, thank cheese!
You have got to get me
150
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,880
back to earth so I don't
miss my surprise party!
151
00:07:29,959 --> 00:07:32,209
Howard, uh...
about your party...
152
00:07:32,291 --> 00:07:34,831
So, should we call McFlubbusters
and tell them we're gonna be late,
153
00:07:34,917 --> 00:07:36,577
-or whadya wanna do?
-We don't need to call.
154
00:07:36,667 --> 00:07:37,997
I was lying about your party.
155
00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:41,793
You mean, there's no surprise
party at PJ McFlubbusters?
156
00:07:41,875 --> 00:07:45,285
No, uh, because, uh,
because...
157
00:07:45,375 --> 00:07:49,625
It's... on the moon, baby!
158
00:07:49,709 --> 00:07:53,499
"Sometimes protecting someone is the most
dangerous thing a Ninja can do."
159
00:07:53,583 --> 00:07:56,333
Ugh, no, I don't wanna tell him.
It'll crush him.
160
00:07:56,417 --> 00:07:57,667
What is going on?
161
00:07:57,750 --> 00:07:59,670
Your surprise party
isn't on the moon.
162
00:07:59,750 --> 00:08:01,000
No cheese.
163
00:08:01,083 --> 00:08:02,963
To be honest...
I forgot your birthday.
164
00:08:03,041 --> 00:08:05,631
I was trying to protect your feelings
by lying about it, but all that...
165
00:08:05,709 --> 00:08:07,079
Ow!
(groans)
166
00:08:07,166 --> 00:08:09,496
-(machine boots up)
-(computer voice) Ninja detected.
167
00:08:09,583 --> 00:08:11,883
-(flatulence)
-(McFist) Oh! 'Scuse me.
168
00:08:14,250 --> 00:08:15,250
-(roars)
-(screams)
169
00:08:18,375 --> 00:08:19,915
(grunting)
170
00:08:21,917 --> 00:08:23,287
(screams)
171
00:08:31,125 --> 00:08:32,665
Ninja-Kick!
172
00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:33,630
Well, this is officially
173
00:08:33,709 --> 00:08:35,709
the second weirdest birthday
I've ever had.
174
00:08:35,792 --> 00:08:37,922
-You're welcome.
-Not a thank you!
175
00:08:38,792 --> 00:08:41,422
(grunting)
176
00:08:42,083 --> 00:08:43,883
Shnasty!
177
00:08:43,959 --> 00:08:46,079
Uh! Double shnasty!
178
00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:49,752
Huh... Uh...
179
00:08:49,834 --> 00:08:52,714
Huh? Yes! Anti-gravity!
180
00:08:52,792 --> 00:08:54,582
(chuckles)
It's pronounced grabbity.
181
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:57,377
(grunts)
Ninja-Electro-Balls!
182
00:08:57,458 --> 00:08:59,628
(straining)
183
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:06,037
Honkin' space-gravity.
That's it! Space!
184
00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:13,634
Howard! Open...
the Air-Lock... Hatch!
185
00:09:13,709 --> 00:09:15,209
How do I get
the Air-Lock Hatch open?!
186
00:09:15,291 --> 00:09:16,791
(electronic voice)
Air-Lock Hatch open.
187
00:09:16,875 --> 00:09:17,785
Ah, that'll do it.
188
00:09:17,875 --> 00:09:20,125
(yelling)
189
00:09:20,208 --> 00:09:21,628
Ninja-Orbit-Kick!
190
00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:26,750
(screams)
191
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:29,959
(screeches)
192
00:09:32,250 --> 00:09:33,750
(both) No!
193
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:34,794
Neil!
194
00:09:36,250 --> 00:09:38,580
He was too pure for this world!
195
00:09:39,959 --> 00:09:41,959
I just killed Neil Apestrong.
196
00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:44,711
-And ruined my birthday.
-And stranded us in space.
197
00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:47,082
Not to mention,
ruined my birthday.
198
00:09:47,166 --> 00:09:48,996
-We're gonna die up here.
-On my birthday.
199
00:09:49,083 --> 00:09:50,543
Yes, I ruined
your birthday and I'm sorry!
200
00:09:50,625 --> 00:09:51,825
But I think we're past that now.
201
00:09:51,917 --> 00:09:53,707
I... I shoobed it.
I shoobed it all.
202
00:09:53,792 --> 00:09:55,212
Hey, look on the bright side:
203
00:09:55,291 --> 00:09:58,171
If we die up here, I won't have any more
birthdays for you to forget.
204
00:09:58,250 --> 00:09:59,880
Thanks, buddy.
205
00:09:59,959 --> 00:10:01,749
(all screaming)
206
00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:03,294
-He's alive!
-Neil!
207
00:10:03,375 --> 00:10:05,705
-Can you fly this thing?!
-(screeches)
208
00:10:05,792 --> 00:10:08,922
We're saved! Get in here!
Howard, open the cockpit door.
209
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,960
(screaming)
210
00:10:12,041 --> 00:10:13,831
How do I
get the cockpit door open?
211
00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,497
(electronic voice)
Cockpit door open.
212
00:10:15,583 --> 00:10:18,333
(gasps and groans)
Are you kidding me?
213
00:10:22,792 --> 00:10:25,382
Little more... Little more...
214
00:10:28,792 --> 00:10:29,792
Perfect.
215
00:10:29,875 --> 00:10:31,625
Next year
I'm planning my own party.
216
00:10:31,709 --> 00:10:33,959
-And I will not forget it.
-Yes, you will.
217
00:10:34,041 --> 00:10:35,751
Ah, you're right,
I probably will.
218
00:10:35,834 --> 00:10:38,544
(all laughing)
219
00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:43,955
Well, it took all day,
but we finally did it.
220
00:10:44,041 --> 00:10:48,331
The one ape that's got enough
stuff to fly Space-Fist One.
221
00:10:48,417 --> 00:10:49,747
Make me proud, son.
222
00:10:54,750 --> 00:10:55,830
(shrieks)
223
00:10:55,917 --> 00:11:00,497
-Eh... Grabbity...
-Oy!
224
00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:04,080
(bell rings)
225
00:11:04,166 --> 00:11:06,126
(panting)
226
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:07,668
For honk's sake, run!
We're late for class!
227
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,830
Whoa, whoa!
228
00:11:09,917 --> 00:11:11,787
-(grunting)
-You boys know the rules:
229
00:11:11,875 --> 00:11:12,955
no running in the halls!
230
00:11:13,041 --> 00:11:14,751
Aw, c'mon P-Slims,
we're gonna be late!
231
00:11:14,834 --> 00:11:17,834
And then you'll punish us by making us
spend lunchtime in your office again!
232
00:11:17,917 --> 00:11:19,457
Then you better walk fast.
233
00:11:19,542 --> 00:11:22,332
-(grunting)
-Speedwalking counts as running.
234
00:11:22,417 --> 00:11:26,037
-(bell rings)
-And you're late. See you at lunch!
235
00:11:26,125 --> 00:11:28,495
-Mmm. So may good rules!
-(groans)
236
00:11:28,583 --> 00:11:30,793
Principal Slimovitz, you're
killing us with all these rules.
237
00:11:30,875 --> 00:11:34,035
It's like we can't follow
one without breaking two others.
238
00:11:34,125 --> 00:11:36,415
Got my review
with the School Board today.
239
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:38,880
Just want to make sure I've got
everything under control.
240
00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:42,499
I think it's time to teach
the rules a lesson of our own.
241
00:11:42,583 --> 00:11:44,713
Teach the rules a lesson?
With ketchup?
242
00:11:44,792 --> 00:11:47,832
-Are you even listening to yourself?
-No, I'm not.
243
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,625
(giggling)
244
00:11:50,709 --> 00:11:52,709
Wow, I have missed
a lot of these!
245
00:11:52,792 --> 00:11:54,422
Uh, things are going
to change around here.
246
00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:56,000
Ah! Something's on my face!
247
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,793
-(giggling)
-It came out of my book!
248
00:11:57,875 --> 00:11:59,285
I have to warn everyone!
249
00:11:59,917 --> 00:12:00,827
Doh!
250
00:12:00,917 --> 00:12:03,997
(Slimovitz) Attention students:Someone has sabotaged our books!
251
00:12:04,083 --> 00:12:07,463
Destroy allreading materials immediately!
252
00:12:07,542 --> 00:12:09,792
(all gasping and screaming)
253
00:12:16,750 --> 00:12:17,750
Whoa!
254
00:12:18,917 --> 00:12:19,827
(knocking)
255
00:12:19,917 --> 00:12:21,667
Ah, hello?
256
00:12:22,834 --> 00:12:24,214
I'm here for my review.
257
00:12:24,291 --> 00:12:25,631
(door shuts)
258
00:12:25,709 --> 00:12:27,379
Irving Slimovitz.
259
00:12:27,458 --> 00:12:30,418
In your estimation,
how excellent are you at principaling?
260
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,790
Um... very excellent?
261
00:12:32,875 --> 00:12:34,995
Does that look like
very excellent to you?
262
00:12:35,083 --> 00:12:37,713
-But that wasn't my fault!
-Any of these your fault?
263
00:12:37,792 --> 00:12:40,582
(giggling)
264
00:12:42,834 --> 00:12:47,384
We've got rules being broken
left, right and sideways up in here.
265
00:12:47,458 --> 00:12:51,708
For the safety of all
our children, you're fired!
266
00:12:51,792 --> 00:12:53,712
Please! Give me one more chance!
267
00:12:53,792 --> 00:12:54,962
I don't think so.
268
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:56,421
NHS has been chosen
269
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:59,540
to take part in an experimental
principaling program.
270
00:12:59,625 --> 00:13:00,625
(gasps)
271
00:13:00,709 --> 00:13:02,289
You just got replaced.
272
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,210
Mm...
273
00:13:06,166 --> 00:13:07,666
What the honk is this?
274
00:13:07,750 --> 00:13:09,670
The latest in
educational head wear.
275
00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:11,670
PAL:
Principal-Assisted Learning.
276
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:14,460
That sounds like
one of P-Slim's wonk ideas.
277
00:13:14,542 --> 00:13:17,382
No, no, no. Due to yesterday's
rioting incident,
278
00:13:17,458 --> 00:13:21,128
Principal Slimovitz was re-assigned.
To the unemployment line.
279
00:13:21,208 --> 00:13:23,748
He got canned like a sardine.
280
00:13:23,834 --> 00:13:26,334
(gasps)
Sweet cheese, you got him fired?!
281
00:13:26,417 --> 00:13:28,787
By accident! He was shoobing us
with all his rules!
282
00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:31,035
When you think about it,
he got him fired.
283
00:13:31,125 --> 00:13:32,455
-(Nomicon hums)
-Hmm?
284
00:13:32,542 --> 00:13:34,582
(groans) I know, Nomicon,
rules are meant to be followed.
285
00:13:34,667 --> 00:13:36,787
Let's just save ourselves
the shloomp on this one, huh.
286
00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:37,875
Hm...
287
00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:43,710
Greetings, students.I'm your new principal, Todd Principal.
288
00:13:43,792 --> 00:13:45,832
Ooh, he's got his job
in his name.
289
00:13:45,917 --> 00:13:46,997
He must be really good at it.
290
00:13:47,083 --> 00:13:50,083
Your old principalwas deemed unfit to principal.
291
00:13:50,166 --> 00:13:53,826
I think Norrisville Highdeserves better. Don't you?
292
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:56,537
(all) Yes, Mr. Principal.
293
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:03,630
OK, Irving. You just walk in
there and you get your stuff.
294
00:14:03,709 --> 00:14:06,249
They may have taken your job,
but they are not going to take
295
00:14:06,333 --> 00:14:08,963
your World's Greatest
Cat Owner mug! (groans)
296
00:14:09,041 --> 00:14:11,541
That brings us
to the mitochondria.
297
00:14:11,625 --> 00:14:14,205
Paying attention
in class is the cheese.
298
00:14:14,291 --> 00:14:17,081
Know what's also the cheese?
Perfect posture.
299
00:14:20,291 --> 00:14:23,171
Don't mind me.
Just here to pick up my things.
300
00:14:23,250 --> 00:14:25,790
Not trying to start a fight
with the new... Huh... computer?!
301
00:14:25,875 --> 00:14:27,705
Greetings, former educator.
302
00:14:27,792 --> 00:14:31,752
(gasps)
The new principal's not people!
303
00:14:31,834 --> 00:14:34,294
He knows too much.
Drag and drop him into the trash.
304
00:14:34,375 --> 00:14:35,825
(yelps)
305
00:14:37,709 --> 00:14:40,459
Buttermaker! Micholas!
Unhand me this instant!
306
00:14:40,542 --> 00:14:42,582
(groaning)
307
00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:43,577
(door slams)
308
00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:45,747
What a lovely day!
309
00:14:45,834 --> 00:14:47,674
It is a lovely day, Randy.
310
00:14:47,750 --> 00:14:50,670
You are violating rule 48:
no talking in the hallway.
311
00:14:50,750 --> 00:14:52,630
Please desist.
(chuckles)
312
00:14:52,709 --> 00:14:54,499
Huh. Did Bash seem weird to you?
313
00:14:54,583 --> 00:14:58,333
Uh, what's weird about showing
enthusiasm for school rules?
314
00:14:58,417 --> 00:15:02,457
Nothing, nothing! It's just, since when
does he speak in complete sentences?
315
00:15:02,542 --> 00:15:05,332
(grunting and groaning)
316
00:15:05,417 --> 00:15:07,037
Pounding on the
door didn't work.
317
00:15:07,125 --> 00:15:10,165
Oh! Time for plan B: curling up
in the fetal position.
318
00:15:10,834 --> 00:15:12,794
(sighs)
Oh!
319
00:15:12,875 --> 00:15:14,665
(squeaking)
320
00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:19,710
Well, if it isn't a
McFistodore 34. And his friends.
321
00:15:19,792 --> 00:15:22,582
I haven't had a party
like this since A/V Club.
322
00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:25,670
Halls are clean.
No one's running.
323
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,380
Sundown doesn't smell
like kitty litter.
324
00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:29,168
Something's just... off.
325
00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:31,500
Hi, fellas.
Nice afternoon, isn't it?
326
00:15:31,583 --> 00:15:33,793
Yes, Douglas,
it is a nice afternoon.
327
00:15:33,875 --> 00:15:36,455
Thank you for inquiring.
(chuckles)
328
00:15:36,542 --> 00:15:38,502
Wait a sec.
Was I just nice to Doug?
329
00:15:38,583 --> 00:15:41,793
You're right! Something's off.
Something's way off!
330
00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:43,875
-(beeping)
-Psst! Boys!
331
00:15:43,959 --> 00:15:45,209
Principal Slimovitz...?
332
00:15:45,291 --> 00:15:46,791
I've hacked in
from the basement.
333
00:15:46,875 --> 00:15:47,785
None of this is real!
334
00:15:47,875 --> 00:15:49,495
Todd Principal is a computer,
335
00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:51,333
and he's trapped everyone
inside a simulation.
336
00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:52,957
(groans)
He's forcing you to reach
337
00:15:53,041 --> 00:15:56,751
your academic potential in some sort of
horrible educational utopia.
338
00:15:56,834 --> 00:15:58,384
What a monster!
339
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,078
We have to stop him... her...
it... Is it a boy computer?
340
00:16:01,166 --> 00:16:03,376
-Here.
-Ketchup packets?
341
00:16:03,458 --> 00:16:05,288
(Slimovitz) When the time comes,
you'll know what to do.
342
00:16:05,375 --> 00:16:07,205
Hurry up, boys,
you're my only hope.
343
00:16:09,458 --> 00:16:10,458
(both) Hm.
344
00:16:14,917 --> 00:16:15,917
(gasps)
345
00:16:16,917 --> 00:16:18,037
(bell rings)
346
00:16:19,667 --> 00:16:22,707
(screaming)
Oh, no!
347
00:16:22,792 --> 00:16:25,672
Hot dog sauce!
It's all over my face!
348
00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:27,670
-(both laughing)
-This should be on a hot dog,
349
00:16:27,750 --> 00:16:29,580
not on Doug's face!
350
00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:32,327
(PAL) Multiple rule
infractions. Buffering...
351
00:16:32,417 --> 00:16:33,877
(both laughing)
352
00:16:36,291 --> 00:16:39,961
Hot dog sauce!
Oh, classic Doug.
353
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,291
C'mon! We gotta get Slimovitz!
354
00:16:42,375 --> 00:16:44,535
(panting)
355
00:16:45,959 --> 00:16:47,379
(gasps)
356
00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:49,827
Uh...
357
00:16:49,917 --> 00:16:52,037
Boys! I am so glad to see you!
358
00:16:52,125 --> 00:16:54,625
All right.
Let's not make this weird.
359
00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:57,789
We're not safe here. If that thing
is half the principal I think he is,
360
00:16:57,875 --> 00:17:00,745
he already knows you're truant.
361
00:17:00,834 --> 00:17:02,794
(PAL) Attention:
two students are offline.
362
00:17:02,875 --> 00:17:05,995
Initiate Firewall.
Eliminate all anomalies.
363
00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:10,745
(mechanical whirring)
364
00:17:14,625 --> 00:17:15,745
(both panting)
365
00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:18,214
-Boys! Slow down!
-We gotta get to the office.
366
00:17:18,291 --> 00:17:20,461
But we're running! In the hall!
367
00:17:20,542 --> 00:17:22,882
Really,
you're harping on that now?
368
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,380
I hate to be a downer here
369
00:17:24,458 --> 00:17:26,418
but, uh... I don't think
we're gettin' to that office.
370
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:27,380
I'll distract him!
371
00:17:27,417 --> 00:17:29,537
You boys
get in there and unplug him.
372
00:17:29,625 --> 00:17:31,495
-Howard...
-Hide. Yeah. I'm on it.
373
00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:33,498
(yelps)
374
00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:36,790
Entire student body vs. Ninja?
375
00:17:36,875 --> 00:17:38,705
Good thing I have
the speed advantage.
376
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:43,753
(gasps)
Don't have the speed advantage!
377
00:17:45,959 --> 00:17:49,879
Todd Principal,
prepare to get schooled.
378
00:17:49,959 --> 00:17:53,829
-(gasps)
-Greetings.
379
00:17:53,917 --> 00:17:56,167
Give it up, Todd.
A computer can't principal.
380
00:17:56,250 --> 00:17:58,960
On the contrary, I am the
perfect principal.
381
00:17:59,041 --> 00:18:00,831
We'll see about that.
382
00:18:00,917 --> 00:18:05,417
I invoke rule 72-B
of the NHS code:
383
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:08,330
A Principal-Off.
Winner... takes... school.
384
00:18:08,417 --> 00:18:12,207
I accept your challenge. I know
the rules better than any human.
385
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,379
(gasps)
386
00:18:15,875 --> 00:18:17,165
All right, pop quiz:
387
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:21,170
What color are students
forbidden to wear in January?
388
00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:23,710
White. So they don't
get lost in the snow.
389
00:18:24,792 --> 00:18:27,632
Oh, I see how it is.
Playing for keeps.
390
00:18:27,709 --> 00:18:29,789
OK, next question!
391
00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:32,575
(grunts)
Ninja-Misuse-Of-School-Property!
392
00:18:32,667 --> 00:18:34,207
(grunting)
393
00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:40,963
I don't know how long
I can hold 'em off!
394
00:18:41,041 --> 00:18:42,961
Howard, you gotta jack back
in and hurry Slimovitz up!
395
00:18:43,041 --> 00:18:45,581
There's no way I'm going back
in there! It's creepy in there.
396
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:46,917
Howard!
397
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:48,960
All right! I'm goin'!
398
00:18:51,709 --> 00:18:55,789
-Hmm?
-(groaning)
399
00:18:57,834 --> 00:18:59,044
(gasps)
400
00:18:59,125 --> 00:19:01,705
What is the minimum amount
of meat, uh,
401
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:04,332
required for the cafeteria to
legally call it Salisbury steak?
402
00:19:04,417 --> 00:19:07,537
Trick question:
There is no meat.
403
00:19:07,625 --> 00:19:09,705
Aw! Thought I had you
with that one!
404
00:19:09,792 --> 00:19:11,632
Really wish I hadn't heard that.
405
00:19:11,709 --> 00:19:13,959
Yes! Principal's Office!
Almost there! (grunts)
406
00:19:14,959 --> 00:19:16,709
Oh, uh... No!
407
00:19:16,792 --> 00:19:19,792
Principal's Office...
was almost there!
408
00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:21,995
Ow!
Ooh!
409
00:19:22,083 --> 00:19:25,043
...and if the Assistant
Vice-Principal is also deceased,
410
00:19:25,125 --> 00:19:28,375
the head custodian becomes
the new head of school.
411
00:19:28,458 --> 00:19:30,458
-(gasps)
-(gulps)
412
00:19:30,542 --> 00:19:32,582
OK, last question...
413
00:19:32,667 --> 00:19:35,077
Ninja-Student-Dogpile-Escape!
414
00:19:35,166 --> 00:19:39,246
...and then bury the sockstraps
at least 50 feet from any water source.
415
00:19:39,333 --> 00:19:41,253
Please tell me that's not right.
416
00:19:41,333 --> 00:19:42,713
I'm afraid it is.
417
00:19:42,792 --> 00:19:45,632
Then it is settled.
I am the superior administrator.
418
00:19:45,709 --> 00:19:48,709
-The school is mine!
-That was my last question.
419
00:19:48,792 --> 00:19:51,632
-(gasps)
-You have been proven... obsolete.
420
00:19:51,709 --> 00:19:53,499
Remember... me...
421
00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:57,713
Hm... I have a question:
Two students are late to class.
422
00:19:57,792 --> 00:20:00,462
They're running. How do you keep
them from breaking any rules?
423
00:20:00,542 --> 00:20:01,882
I tell them to walk.
424
00:20:01,959 --> 00:20:04,209
But then they'll be late.
That's against the rules.
425
00:20:04,291 --> 00:20:06,541
-Then they must run.
-Also against the rules.
426
00:20:06,625 --> 00:20:08,285
Then they must walk.
Then they'll be late.
427
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:10,035
So they must run.
That's against the rules.
428
00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:11,665
So they must walk.
Then they'll be late!
429
00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:14,210
Buffering... Buffering...
Buffering... Buffering...
430
00:20:22,041 --> 00:20:23,881
This question is unanswerable!
431
00:20:23,959 --> 00:20:28,079
For a computer maybe.
What do you think, Principal Slimovitz?
432
00:20:28,166 --> 00:20:30,036
Boy... that's a toughie.
433
00:20:30,125 --> 00:20:33,995
Come on, Slims, dig deep.
What would a human do?
434
00:20:34,083 --> 00:20:38,423
Well, I guess, to stop them
from breaking the rules...
435
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:40,000
I could write them a pass...
436
00:20:40,083 --> 00:20:43,753
Ohhh, I could've written
you and Randy a pass!
437
00:20:43,834 --> 00:20:45,794
Yes. Yes you could have.
438
00:20:45,875 --> 00:20:48,325
You are the superior principal.
439
00:20:48,417 --> 00:20:50,877
(powering down)
440
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:54,499
Sometimes the right way to enforce a rule
is not to enforce it at all.
441
00:20:54,583 --> 00:20:57,003
You have taught me compassion...
emotion...
442
00:20:57,083 --> 00:20:58,633
Ninja-Tengu-Fireball!
443
00:20:58,709 --> 00:21:02,579
I feel as if I've just
begun to live... Ahh!
444
00:21:02,667 --> 00:21:05,127
-Ooh, it's terrible!
-(both screaming)
445
00:21:05,208 --> 00:21:06,498
It's the worst thing
I've ever seen!
446
00:21:06,583 --> 00:21:07,963
(all gasp)
447
00:21:08,041 --> 00:21:11,251
I don't care about rules no more!
Move it! (chuckles)
448
00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:14,083
Ah, yes. Smokebomb.
449
00:21:14,166 --> 00:21:17,166
Sure, I'd be willing to come back,
for a 20 percent raise.
450
00:21:17,250 --> 00:21:19,630
Oh, no? Less pay?
OK, Less pay it is.
451
00:21:19,709 --> 00:21:20,959
Gotta go. My 2:00 is here.
452
00:21:21,041 --> 00:21:23,291
Ah, you boys taught me
a valuable lesson.
453
00:21:23,375 --> 00:21:25,375
Guess this makes us even
for that ketchup thing, huh?
454
00:21:25,458 --> 00:21:27,628
What? Oh, no, no, no.
455
00:21:27,709 --> 00:21:31,749
You two are going to copy the entire
rule book, by hand, until you learn it.
456
00:21:31,834 --> 00:21:33,424
(both groan)
457
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,790
Ah! Wait. So now are we even?
458
00:21:35,875 --> 00:21:38,955
(chuckles)
No, now you go to detention.
459
00:21:39,041 --> 00:21:41,081
(both groan)
460
00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:43,076
(laughing)
461
00:21:44,917 --> 00:21:46,997
Ah...
Mmmm...
462
00:22:07,792 --> 00:22:08,752
(chirp)
463
00:22:11,792 --> 00:22:13,422
(Howard)
Tell me, tell me, tell me...
34872
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