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-♪ Go, ninja! ♪
-(Randy) I was chosen to protect my school
2
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from the forces of evil.
3
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I am the ninja.
4
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I am Randy Cunningham.
5
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♪ Smoke bomb ♪
6
00:00:16,709 --> 00:00:18,709
♪ It's four pm and I'm still at school ♪
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♪ It's all good I ain't P-Slim's fool ♪
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♪ I can't rememberWhen I was ever bored-er ♪
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♪ 'Cause I got a terminal caseOf detention deficit disorder ♪
10
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♪ I got that detention deficit disorder ♪
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♪ I got it bad ♪
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(up-tempo solo plays)
13
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(both panting)
14
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(crowd cheers on keyboard)
15
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-We are 30 Seconds to Math!
-Good night!
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Man, I cannot wait to win
the Battle of the Bands,
17
00:00:51,375 --> 00:00:53,075
and shove it in my sister's face!
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-She wins every year.
-Not this year.
19
00:00:56,625 --> 00:00:58,575
Tonight, 30 Seconds to Math
20
00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:00,457
joins Norrisville's rock elite,
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permanently markered on the Stall of Fame.
22
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Let's take it from the top.
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Sorry, boys.
24
00:01:06,291 --> 00:01:08,001
Got a Code Orange in my bucket here.
25
00:01:08,083 --> 00:01:10,463
I'd get outta splashin'
distance if I was you.
26
00:01:10,542 --> 00:01:11,832
(both groan)
27
00:01:11,917 --> 00:01:15,497
-(mumbling indistinctly)
-(humming)
28
00:01:15,583 --> 00:01:17,633
What's got five nipples
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and is gonna win the Battle of the Bands?
30
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(both) These guys!
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Lock it up!
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Now that we've locked it up,
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I'd like to take a moment
to talk to you about NNS.
34
00:01:27,417 --> 00:01:29,877
-NN what?
-Ninja No-Show.
35
00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:31,789
It's a friendship threatening condition
36
00:01:31,875 --> 00:01:34,125
where two bros are about
to do something awesome,
37
00:01:34,208 --> 00:01:37,418
but one bro ninjas out
and totally blows it!
38
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By the way, you're the ninja, bro.
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What? I don't do that!
40
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-Oh, NNS!
-(laughter)
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Swing!
42
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(humming, whistling)
43
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NNS!
(screaming)
44
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(both chortling)
45
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-NNS!
-(laughter)
46
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Ninja leap!
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Okay, you know
I may have NNS'd on occasion,
48
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:08,170
but tonight's the Battle of the Bands.
No way will I NNS!
49
00:02:08,250 --> 00:02:11,790
Swear it, Cunningham!
Swear it on my beats!
50
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-(up-tempo beats playing)
-On your beats.
51
00:02:13,875 --> 00:02:16,875
Now let's go back in there
and get our rehearsal on!
52
00:02:16,959 --> 00:02:19,709
All yours, boys.
Try to breathe through your mouths.
53
00:02:19,792 --> 00:02:21,002
Maybe we should take a fiver.
54
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(stomach grumbles)
55
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Let's make it a tenner.
56
00:02:23,542 --> 00:02:25,582
-Gotta visit the Stall of Fame.
-(toilet flushes)
57
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Do not NNS!
58
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(panting)
59
00:02:28,917 --> 00:02:33,827
Robo-Ape? I can't NNS. I took a beat oath.
60
00:02:33,917 --> 00:02:36,537
Ten minutes... I can do this.
61
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Smoke bomb!
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I have no idea
what you Robo-Apes are up to,
63
00:02:40,542 --> 00:02:42,632
but I'm not gonna let you
get away with it.
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-Ninja slice!
-(grunts)
65
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Yah!
66
00:02:50,333 --> 00:02:51,423
Ninja kamas.
67
00:02:53,709 --> 00:02:55,919
-Oh-oh.
-Ninja scarf-stopper.
68
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,920
Yah!
69
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,920
Tell me what McFist's got cookin'.
70
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,540
I don't know the whole menu.
I only handle appetizers.
71
00:03:02,625 --> 00:03:05,535
-That a joke, Robo-Ape?
-No, Ninja, we're caterers.
72
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We're catering the Battle of the Bands.
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(Randy) "McFist Finger Foods,
a division of McFist Industries"?
74
00:03:11,750 --> 00:03:14,040
Yeah, sure. If you guys are caterers,
75
00:03:14,125 --> 00:03:16,375
then how do you explain
this crate full of...
76
00:03:17,083 --> 00:03:18,923
...cocktail weenies.
77
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,460
Well, looks my job here is... Smoke bomb!
78
00:03:23,041 --> 00:03:26,501
Hey, Howard. Everything good?
Fantastic. Okay, cool. Let's rock.
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One, two, three...
80
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-(fast-paced riff)
-Hmm...
81
00:03:30,208 --> 00:03:32,288
Howard, are you ready to rock or what?
82
00:03:32,375 --> 00:03:35,245
Oh, I was ready to rock...
a billion minutes ago.
83
00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:38,333
-There were these Robo-Apes...
-So you did NNS!
84
00:03:38,417 --> 00:03:40,707
Only a little.
It looked like they were up to something,
85
00:03:40,792 --> 00:03:42,792
but turns out they were up to nothing.
All good!
86
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Not good! That's a UNNS!
87
00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:47,955
-Hmm?
-Unnecessary Ninja No-Show!
88
00:03:48,041 --> 00:03:50,211
I am an awesome drum machinist,
89
00:03:50,291 --> 00:03:51,211
maybe the best ever,
90
00:03:51,291 --> 00:03:53,501
but I cannot battle those bands alone!
91
00:03:53,583 --> 00:03:56,213
You won't be alone. I won't NNS.
92
00:03:56,291 --> 00:03:57,881
-Robo-Ape!
-I'm on it.
93
00:04:00,166 --> 00:04:01,326
-Huh?
-I knew it!
94
00:04:01,417 --> 00:04:03,167
You didn't just break a beat oath,
95
00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:07,080
-you broke up our band.
-Howard...
96
00:04:07,166 --> 00:04:08,246
(grumbles)
97
00:04:08,959 --> 00:04:09,919
(groans)
98
00:04:11,208 --> 00:04:12,828
What the juice, Nomicon?
99
00:04:12,917 --> 00:04:14,707
I try to be a good ninja, fail.
100
00:04:14,792 --> 00:04:16,462
I try to be a good friend, double fail.
101
00:04:16,542 --> 00:04:18,002
What am I supposed to do?
102
00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:23,497
(screaming)
103
00:04:26,125 --> 00:04:27,875
(laughing)
104
00:04:27,959 --> 00:04:30,959
"Friendship is a weight
the ninja cannot carry."
105
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Forget it, Nomicon.
That is all kinds of wrong.
106
00:04:36,917 --> 00:04:38,577
(roaring)
107
00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:40,750
(shouts, groans)
108
00:04:40,834 --> 00:04:44,424
(Viceroy) The ninja just took down
our entire catering division.
109
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,380
This is a disaster!
110
00:04:46,458 --> 00:04:49,038
I'll say, it's the height
of Bar Mitzvah season.
111
00:04:49,125 --> 00:04:51,875
We need a new way
to smuggle the True-hickey
112
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-into the Battle of the Bands.
-It's called a Truth Tone.
113
00:04:56,375 --> 00:04:59,455
It resonates at a frequency
which tickles the truth-lobe
114
00:04:59,542 --> 00:05:00,712
of your fallacy cortex.
115
00:05:00,792 --> 00:05:02,002
So when the ninja hears it...
116
00:05:02,083 --> 00:05:04,543
He'll be forced to tell us who he is.
I know how it works!
117
00:05:04,625 --> 00:05:07,325
Yo, McFist, I need new turntables.
Gimme money.
118
00:05:07,417 --> 00:05:10,287
What happened to the ones
I bought you last week?
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-Jumped on 'em!
-(straining)
120
00:05:12,041 --> 00:05:15,331
Hannibal, perhaps you should give
the boy some turntables.
121
00:05:15,417 --> 00:05:17,787
I'm trying to teach the boy
responsibility here.
122
00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:22,165
Where's your money hole?
Whoo-hoo! Found it!
123
00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:23,920
(chortling)
124
00:05:26,208 --> 00:05:29,918
-What's the secret numbers?
-Ha! Like I'd ever tell you!
125
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(tone plays)
126
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Forty-six, 23, 44, 14.
Why'd I just tell him?
127
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Whoo! Jackpot!
(laughs)
128
00:05:38,208 --> 00:05:40,128
Nice work, Viceroy!
129
00:05:40,208 --> 00:05:42,498
Now he's going to buy
new turntables, and...
130
00:05:42,583 --> 00:05:46,503
...we can plant the Truth Phone on them
at the Battle of the Bands!
131
00:05:46,583 --> 00:05:49,173
-This is my best plan ever!
-Your plan? But I...
132
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:50,080
(groans)
133
00:05:50,166 --> 00:05:52,286
-♪ Who are my bro's, yo? ♪-♪ We're your bro's, yo ♪
134
00:05:52,375 --> 00:05:54,495
-♪ Who are my bro's, yo? ♪-♪ We're your bro's, yo ♪
135
00:05:54,583 --> 00:05:56,883
-♪ Who are my bro's, yo? ♪-♪ We're your bro's, yo! ♪
136
00:05:56,959 --> 00:05:58,539
Man, they are bro's.
137
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,375
That's why they're so good...
138
00:06:00,458 --> 00:06:03,128
(Randy) I know a power synth duo
that can beat 'em.
139
00:06:05,083 --> 00:06:06,423
'Course the drum machinist
140
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:09,130
would have to forgive the keytar player
for being a total wonk.
141
00:06:09,208 --> 00:06:11,418
How do I know I can trust you?
142
00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:13,420
Because the Nomicon told me
not to be here.
143
00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:15,170
-But I'm here.
-I never liked that book.
144
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,460
-♪ Who are my bro's, yo? ♪-♪ We're your bro's, yo ♪
145
00:06:17,542 --> 00:06:20,002
-♪ Who are my bro's, yo? ♪-♪ We're your bro's, yo ♪
146
00:06:20,083 --> 00:06:22,423
- ♪ Who are my bro's, yo? ♪
-Get ready for it, Viceroy.
147
00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:24,790
Bash is about to play the truth frequency.
148
00:06:24,875 --> 00:06:27,205
(McFist) The ninja will soon be ours!
149
00:06:28,625 --> 00:06:32,125
It appears Bash is having
a turntable malfunction.
150
00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:34,248
He's having a brain malfunction!
151
00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:36,713
Find an act with an instrument that works.
152
00:06:37,667 --> 00:06:40,577
My guitar is missing! Has anybody seen it?
153
00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:43,627
Dark pink with light pink skulls,
pink strap that says "Heidi Weinerman"
154
00:06:43,709 --> 00:06:45,499
-in hot pink letters...
-Huh?
155
00:06:46,917 --> 00:06:48,537
(Randy) What the juice?
156
00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:49,705
(groans)
157
00:06:51,959 --> 00:06:53,829
No, I will not NNS.
158
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,790
I'll check it out and be back
before Howard even notices.
159
00:06:59,875 --> 00:07:01,455
Hey, I got a surprise for you.
160
00:07:01,542 --> 00:07:03,502
Remember my awesome drum solo?
161
00:07:03,583 --> 00:07:07,213
It's now three minutes awesomer, buddy.
Buddy?
162
00:07:08,041 --> 00:07:10,211
Are you kidding me? We are done!
163
00:07:10,291 --> 00:07:12,961
(techno music plays)
164
00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:15,962
Smoke bomb!
165
00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:18,831
I'm pretty sure that guitar
doesn't belong to you.
166
00:07:18,917 --> 00:07:21,497
-Heidi said we could borrow it?
-You're lying, Robo-Ape.
167
00:07:21,583 --> 00:07:23,293
And now you're getting ninja punched!
168
00:07:23,375 --> 00:07:26,665
(shouting)
Yah!
169
00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:32,713
(growling)
Get him.
170
00:07:33,291 --> 00:07:36,581
Up next is the 9th grade powersynth duo,
171
00:07:36,667 --> 00:07:39,707
-30 Seconds to Math!
-(audience cheers)
172
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:41,712
(whispering)
We're done. The band's broken up.
173
00:07:41,792 --> 00:07:42,672
He Yoko Ono'd.
174
00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:44,880
Apparently 30 Seconds to Math
has broken up,
175
00:07:44,959 --> 00:07:46,209
something to do with betrayal
176
00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:49,421
and "that selfish wonk,
Randy Cunningham," so...
177
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:53,040
Put your hands together
for Julian and his creepy theremin!
178
00:07:54,083 --> 00:07:57,083
(eerie music plays)
179
00:07:57,583 --> 00:08:00,383
Boo! I said, "Boo."
180
00:08:07,083 --> 00:08:08,333
Yah!
181
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,708
(screeching)
182
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:15,832
I have a sword, you have monkey hands.
Hardly seems fair.
183
00:08:16,792 --> 00:08:17,922
Okay, that's fair.
184
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,580
(grunting)
185
00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:24,130
(growling)
186
00:08:30,041 --> 00:08:31,211
Uh, what's with the whisk?
187
00:08:31,291 --> 00:08:33,251
I was designed to run the omelet bar.
188
00:08:34,083 --> 00:08:35,753
Ow, that stings.
189
00:08:35,834 --> 00:08:39,714
Stupid Cunningham reunites the band
just to break it up again.
190
00:08:39,792 --> 00:08:41,542
Aw, I dropped my pluot!
191
00:08:41,625 --> 00:08:43,665
This day just keeps getting worse.
192
00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:45,290
(McFist) Robo-Apes have gone missing,
193
00:08:45,375 --> 00:08:48,575
and you still haven't planted
our musical mind-control device!
194
00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:49,707
Haven't I...
195
00:08:49,792 --> 00:08:52,132
As soon as she hits the right frequency,
196
00:08:52,208 --> 00:08:55,168
we'll pop the question,
and the ninja will out himself.
197
00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:58,000
(gasps)
I gotta warn that jerk, Randy.
198
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,748
Yah! Ninja rings.
199
00:09:08,041 --> 00:09:09,291
What's up, N-Ville!
200
00:09:09,375 --> 00:09:12,495
I would like to dedicate my song
to whoever returned my guitar.
201
00:09:12,583 --> 00:09:14,043
This jam is about the ninja.
202
00:09:14,125 --> 00:09:16,125
While we can't all be the ninja,
203
00:09:16,208 --> 00:09:18,628
if we work super hard
and totally together,
204
00:09:18,709 --> 00:09:20,209
we can all be a little bit like him.
205
00:09:20,291 --> 00:09:22,631
(panting)
206
00:09:22,709 --> 00:09:23,749
(screams)
207
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:29,584
You need to get out of here, Cunningham.
208
00:09:29,667 --> 00:09:32,627
I know you're mad,
and you have every right to be... Hey!
209
00:09:32,709 --> 00:09:37,379
♪ He wears a mask but don't we all? ♪
210
00:09:37,917 --> 00:09:43,377
♪ When he's not aroundWe have to stand tall ♪
211
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,955
♪ You've got the ninja in you ♪
212
00:09:46,041 --> 00:09:47,921
Stop pushing me, I'm trying to apologize!
213
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,500
Save it! Right now you need to leave.
214
00:09:50,583 --> 00:09:52,253
Bad stuff is gonna happen.
215
00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:54,293
You mean the Robo-Apes?
I took care of that.
216
00:09:55,125 --> 00:09:56,825
That's why I ninja no-showed, and...
217
00:09:56,917 --> 00:09:59,327
Why are you cramming cupcakes in my ear?
218
00:09:59,417 --> 00:10:02,417
♪... inside of us all ♪
219
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:07,710
♪ There's a ninja inside of us all ♪
220
00:10:07,792 --> 00:10:12,582
-♪ There's a ninja inside... ♪- Yes, yes, it's working!
221
00:10:12,667 --> 00:10:15,787
(clears throat)
Check, two. One, two. Check, two.
222
00:10:16,625 --> 00:10:18,285
Who is the ninja?
223
00:10:19,208 --> 00:10:21,828
I'm the ninja! Why did I say that?
224
00:10:21,917 --> 00:10:24,167
-(groans, moans)
-(bell rings)
225
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:25,670
And I am the ninja!
226
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:28,130
And you're the ninja.
And you're the ninja.
227
00:10:28,208 --> 00:10:30,328
And you're the ninja.
228
00:10:30,375 --> 00:10:32,455
There's a ninja inside us all!
229
00:10:32,542 --> 00:10:34,632
(all) I am the ninja. I am the ninja.
230
00:10:34,709 --> 00:10:36,629
I am the ninja. I am the ninja.
231
00:10:36,709 --> 00:10:38,669
They can't all be the ninja!
232
00:10:38,750 --> 00:10:41,710
They genuinely believe
the ninja is inside them.
233
00:10:41,792 --> 00:10:46,332
(grumbling)
We've been bested by a catchy pop hook!
234
00:10:46,417 --> 00:10:50,917
- ♪There's a ninja inside us all ♪
-(all) I am the ninja.
235
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:56,210
-Howard, now I'll never win!
-Rock and roll!
236
00:10:57,333 --> 00:10:58,583
Listen, Howard...
237
00:10:58,667 --> 00:11:01,327
The Nomicon told me
a ninja can't have friends,
238
00:11:01,417 --> 00:11:03,667
but no ninja's ever had a friend like you.
239
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,710
Uh, are we gonna rock?
240
00:11:05,792 --> 00:11:07,882
'Cause this is startin' to get awkward.
241
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,670
-(synth music plays)
-Prepare your ears for...
242
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:12,790
(both) 30 Seconds to Math!
243
00:11:12,875 --> 00:11:16,495
♪ Detention deficit disorder ♪
244
00:11:17,083 --> 00:11:18,083
(birds cawing)
245
00:11:18,166 --> 00:11:20,166
(drum music plays)
246
00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:21,380
Yah!
247
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:30,580
-(roars)
-One of us picked a bad day
248
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:32,957
to be a Komodo Dragon in shogun armor.
249
00:11:33,041 --> 00:11:36,251
Prepare to get air fisted. Okay.
250
00:11:36,333 --> 00:11:38,133
First, separate the clouds...
251
00:11:38,208 --> 00:11:41,078
-(roars)
-...gather the fallen wind...
252
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:45,000
...and free the chicken.
253
00:11:45,083 --> 00:11:48,463
(laughing)
I can't, I can't! Free the chicken?
254
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,542
What am I supposed to do with that?
255
00:11:50,625 --> 00:11:53,245
(grunts)
Alright, alright, alright.
256
00:11:53,333 --> 00:11:56,133
Clouds, wind, chicken.
257
00:11:56,208 --> 00:11:57,958
(chortles)
Chicken!
258
00:11:58,041 --> 00:12:00,251
Okay, okay, okay.
I'm gonna do it this time for real.
259
00:12:02,667 --> 00:12:05,077
(roars)
260
00:12:06,875 --> 00:12:08,075
Come on, Nomicon!
261
00:12:08,166 --> 00:12:10,996
The air fist is ruining my ninja steeze!
262
00:12:11,083 --> 00:12:13,833
"Respect is the key that opens all doors."
263
00:12:13,917 --> 00:12:16,327
OK, one, who said anything about doors?
264
00:12:16,417 --> 00:12:17,577
That's completely off-topic.
265
00:12:17,667 --> 00:12:21,667
And, two, nobody's gonna respect the ninja
if he looks like a chicken-tossing shoob.
266
00:12:23,709 --> 00:12:24,709
Whoa...
267
00:12:24,792 --> 00:12:27,382
Just sayin'. Huh?
268
00:12:29,375 --> 00:12:30,415
(alarm wails)
269
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,250
We're under attack!
There's a monster on campus!
270
00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:35,503
Everybody leave your belongings
and exit the building.
271
00:12:35,583 --> 00:12:38,083
(all screaming)
272
00:12:38,875 --> 00:12:42,705
-Ah! What the juice?
-You got a death wish, kid?
273
00:12:42,792 --> 00:12:44,672
Nothing in that bag is worth dying for.
274
00:12:44,750 --> 00:12:46,130
Come on, it's just right there...
275
00:12:46,208 --> 00:12:48,038
-Aah!
-And the exit is right there!
276
00:12:48,125 --> 00:12:49,495
Alright, alright.
277
00:12:50,875 --> 00:12:52,245
Move it!
278
00:12:52,333 --> 00:12:53,253
(all shouting)
279
00:12:53,333 --> 00:12:54,923
We're all doomed!
280
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:58,250
-Finally! Doomed!
-Push, shove, trample!
281
00:12:58,333 --> 00:13:01,963
Help! Don't panic, I'm sure
the ninja will be here any minute.
282
00:13:02,041 --> 00:13:04,041
I mean, he's probably
just a little held up...
283
00:13:06,041 --> 00:13:08,671
-It's the ninja.
-Me? I'm not...
284
00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:10,830
-Why would you even think that?
-We're saved!
285
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:13,417
What the ninja?
286
00:13:14,792 --> 00:13:17,422
-Students of Norrisville.
-Huh?
287
00:13:20,208 --> 00:13:22,828
-Check it out!
-Weinerman?
288
00:13:22,917 --> 00:13:24,377
Yeah, we're all dead.
289
00:13:24,458 --> 00:13:26,288
Why are you dressed like that?
290
00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:27,915
Yup. Monster Drill.
291
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,830
And guess who Slimovitz
picked to be the ninja?
292
00:13:30,917 --> 00:13:32,957
Spoiler alert... It's me.
293
00:13:33,041 --> 00:13:35,501
(laughing)
294
00:13:35,583 --> 00:13:37,833
This is so funny, it's beyond funny.
295
00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:40,247
I know, I know.
296
00:13:40,333 --> 00:13:42,423
I mean, you're lazy, you're slow,
297
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:46,710
-you don't like to sweat.
-I don't! I really don't!
298
00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:49,332
You as a ninja... You as a ninja!
299
00:13:49,417 --> 00:13:53,207
Ha, I know... yes... me...
300
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,082
That suit. You look ridiculous.
301
00:13:57,166 --> 00:14:00,496
-It's not that funny.
-It is, it really is.
302
00:14:00,583 --> 00:14:02,633
Best. Surprise. Ever.
303
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:05,539
I have not laughed this hard
in a long time.
304
00:14:05,625 --> 00:14:08,165
You as the ninja... This is awesome!
305
00:14:09,458 --> 00:14:10,748
Wait, you're not mad, are you?
306
00:14:10,834 --> 00:14:13,754
No! No, I'm not mad. I'm not mad at all.
307
00:14:13,834 --> 00:14:15,004
Now, if you're finished,
308
00:14:15,083 --> 00:14:18,083
I have to take my ridiculous self
to the Monster Drill.
309
00:14:18,166 --> 00:14:19,956
See that sounds like mad.
310
00:14:20,041 --> 00:14:21,791
(Viceroy) Oh, Francesca.
311
00:14:21,875 --> 00:14:25,165
Will you and the stable boy
ever find true love?
312
00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:27,580
Viceroy, what are you doing?
313
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:30,917
You have reached Viceroy.
I can't get to the phone
314
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,500
because I'm attempting to enjoy
the only day of vacation
315
00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:35,753
my unethical boss gives me each year.
316
00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:37,884
Leave a message after the tone.
317
00:14:37,959 --> 00:14:39,919
-Tone.
-Quit messing around!
318
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,330
The Slaying Mantis
just came back from the shop.
319
00:14:42,417 --> 00:14:43,917
I want to take it out for a spin.
320
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,630
You know, kick the tires.
Destroy the ninja.
321
00:14:46,709 --> 00:14:50,379
And I'd be more than happy
to do that... when I get back.
322
00:14:50,458 --> 00:14:52,628
Fine I'll do it myself!
323
00:14:53,709 --> 00:14:57,919
It doesn't take an evil genius
to drive a tactical assault arthropod.
324
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:00,923
Ha-ha!
325
00:15:03,333 --> 00:15:07,173
-You forgot to open the case.
-Aren't you on vacation?
326
00:15:07,250 --> 00:15:11,080
Welcome to Norrisville High's
annual Monster Drill.
327
00:15:11,166 --> 00:15:14,576
Had this been a real attack,
you would've all been monstered.
328
00:15:14,667 --> 00:15:19,877
Which is why we're gonna practice having
a safe day, the NINJA way.
329
00:15:19,959 --> 00:15:22,129
(Slimovitz) "N. Nobody panic."
330
00:15:22,208 --> 00:15:25,078
"I. I insist, nobody panic."
331
00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:26,996
"N. Nobody,
332
00:15:27,083 --> 00:15:29,003
and I mean nobody panic."
333
00:15:29,083 --> 00:15:32,253
"J. Just don't panic, nobody."
334
00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:34,923
And I can't stress this last one
highly enough,
335
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,040
"A. And get out of the ninja's way."
336
00:15:38,125 --> 00:15:40,495
C'mon, Howard, don't be so sensitive.
337
00:15:40,583 --> 00:15:42,583
This is our thing. This is what we do!
338
00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:44,247
Oh, no, Cunningham.
339
00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:46,133
This time you crossed the line!
340
00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:48,828
So now that you know
what to do in a monster attack,
341
00:15:48,917 --> 00:15:51,537
let's practice. Where is my monster?
342
00:15:51,625 --> 00:15:55,535
-(roars)
-Save it for the show, Bucky.
343
00:15:56,208 --> 00:15:57,038
(straining)
344
00:15:57,125 --> 00:15:59,705
Stupid monster hands. I'm all claws.
345
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,252
(indistinct chattering)
346
00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:03,213
You promised a monster!
347
00:16:03,291 --> 00:16:04,631
I'm getting wicked bored!
348
00:16:04,709 --> 00:16:06,579
I'm gonna start acting out soon.
349
00:16:06,667 --> 00:16:09,127
(all) Boring, boring...
350
00:16:09,208 --> 00:16:12,038
My monster's running late. Stall!
351
00:16:12,125 --> 00:16:13,915
I got your back, P-Slimmy.
352
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,960
S'up, Norrisville! I am the ninja!
353
00:16:17,041 --> 00:16:19,541
I think I'm better than everyone else.
354
00:16:19,625 --> 00:16:21,495
I do unnecessary flips.
355
00:16:21,583 --> 00:16:23,543
I'm a huge show off.
356
00:16:23,625 --> 00:16:26,075
His flips are totally unnecessary.
357
00:16:26,166 --> 00:16:28,996
One time I saw him run
on the ceiling for no reason.
358
00:16:29,083 --> 00:16:30,293
I'm sure he had a reason.
359
00:16:30,375 --> 00:16:32,245
Nobody runs on the ceiling for no reason.
360
00:16:32,333 --> 00:16:34,793
I do more damage to this school
361
00:16:34,875 --> 00:16:36,415
-than the monsters.
-(laughter)
362
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:38,670
-My car could tell you that.
-(car horn beeps)
363
00:16:38,750 --> 00:16:40,210
I'm 800 years old,
364
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:43,131
which was the last time
this scarf was in style.
365
00:16:43,208 --> 00:16:46,078
(humming)
366
00:16:46,166 --> 00:16:49,166
Hey! The scarf is a serious ninja tool!
367
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:52,330
Plus it's cool! It's cool!
368
00:16:52,417 --> 00:16:55,127
Hey, everybody. Smoke bomb!
369
00:16:55,208 --> 00:16:57,378
-(flatulence)
-(all laugh)
370
00:16:58,208 --> 00:17:00,828
This guy's way funnier
than the real ninja.
371
00:17:00,917 --> 00:17:05,707
Left! No wait, right!
(groans)
372
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,792
Why did you give this thing bug eyes?
373
00:17:07,875 --> 00:17:09,325
Never gives me a problem.
374
00:17:15,542 --> 00:17:17,752
There, got it! Onward!
375
00:17:20,458 --> 00:17:23,208
-You smashed a...
-I know!
376
00:17:24,125 --> 00:17:26,745
Ooh! Look at my ninja rings.
377
00:17:26,834 --> 00:17:30,084
I'm the prettiest ninja
in all of ninjaland!
378
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:36,170
Clearly, the ninja upset you in some way,
and I'm sure he's really sorry about it.
379
00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:39,460
Oh, he's gonna be sorry.
I'm just getting started.
380
00:17:39,542 --> 00:17:42,292
(roaring)
381
00:17:42,375 --> 00:17:44,375
Finally, our practice monster.
382
00:17:44,458 --> 00:17:47,748
Kudos to Mr. Smith's metal shop class.
383
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:50,794
Okay, places everyone, and remember,
384
00:17:50,875 --> 00:17:53,995
-N. Nobody panic!
-Alright, alright.
385
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:56,833
I'm gonna have to get knocked around
by this thing a few times
386
00:17:56,917 --> 00:17:58,957
before I learn how to beat it.
387
00:18:01,291 --> 00:18:03,461
Huh? Whoa, wait a minute.
388
00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:05,502
Mr. Smith's class
can't even build a birdhouse.
389
00:18:05,583 --> 00:18:07,633
(chirping)
390
00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:12,044
-(shouts)
-(Hannibal) Outta my way, kid!
391
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,245
(gasps)
McFist.
392
00:18:13,333 --> 00:18:15,083
Looks like it's ninja time...
393
00:18:15,166 --> 00:18:17,376
My suit's in the library!
394
00:18:19,625 --> 00:18:22,285
Get ready to taste ninja sword!
395
00:18:23,166 --> 00:18:23,996
(groans)
396
00:18:24,083 --> 00:18:25,753
Why's he waggling that salami at us?
397
00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:27,794
Does the ninja look different to you?
398
00:18:27,875 --> 00:18:30,205
All ninjas look the same to me.
399
00:18:30,375 --> 00:18:33,705
Sector two is student-free,
moving on to sector three.
400
00:18:33,792 --> 00:18:35,632
-Hey, that rhymes.
-Screech!
401
00:18:36,375 --> 00:18:38,825
Hiyah! Hiyah!
402
00:18:38,917 --> 00:18:41,957
Try to stay on your feet, Hensletter.
We've got a crowd to entertain here.
403
00:18:42,041 --> 00:18:45,961
Ninja whap!
(humming)
404
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:47,915
That was humiliating.
405
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:51,330
I could come back early
from my one lousy day off to help,
406
00:18:51,417 --> 00:18:55,497
but in return, I'd need,
oh, say, an extra two weeks of vacation.
407
00:18:55,583 --> 00:18:58,293
-Never!
-Time for a smoke bomb.
408
00:18:59,125 --> 00:19:00,495
-(zipper unzipping)
-Ew... Fine!
409
00:19:00,583 --> 00:19:03,293
Whatever you want.
Two weeks. Just get in here!
410
00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:04,705
Mm-hmm.
411
00:19:06,208 --> 00:19:07,828
(screams)
412
00:19:07,917 --> 00:19:10,917
(grunts)
Wow! Nice move, you two.
413
00:19:11,709 --> 00:19:13,329
(woman) Moving on to sector L.
414
00:19:13,417 --> 00:19:15,167
(girl) Just take the gloves off, Bucky.
415
00:19:15,250 --> 00:19:17,670
(Bucky) If I lose the character,
I'll never get it back.
416
00:19:17,750 --> 00:19:20,580
(panting)
Hello ninja-o-clock!
417
00:19:21,750 --> 00:19:23,420
Ow.
418
00:19:24,333 --> 00:19:26,833
And that's why we don't run in the halls.
419
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,250
Ooh. Hey, band geeks,
take it down a notch!
420
00:19:31,333 --> 00:19:32,633
This was the deli's last sword.
421
00:19:33,917 --> 00:19:34,957
(Slimovitz) My car!
422
00:19:37,208 --> 00:19:39,578
-Missiles, really?
-That's a real monster!
423
00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:43,957
Real monster! Everybody panic!
424
00:19:44,041 --> 00:19:47,381
-You gotta let me go!
-I don't gotta do anything.
425
00:19:47,458 --> 00:19:49,418
I'm a certified band instructor,
426
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:52,080
and you have no respect for the baton.
427
00:19:52,166 --> 00:19:54,246
No respect for the rules.
428
00:19:54,333 --> 00:19:56,043
No respect.
429
00:19:56,125 --> 00:19:59,325
Respect is the key that opens all doors.
430
00:19:59,417 --> 00:20:01,577
-What'd you say to me?
-You're right.
431
00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:03,247
I wasn't respecting the baton,
432
00:20:03,333 --> 00:20:06,543
or Howard, or the Nomicon, or anything!
433
00:20:06,625 --> 00:20:10,205
-It's all about respect.
-I finally got through to one.
434
00:20:10,291 --> 00:20:12,961
-(shouts)
-(grunts)
435
00:20:14,875 --> 00:20:16,705
I'm not the ninja! Not the ninja!
(grunts)
436
00:20:16,792 --> 00:20:18,962
(all screaming)
437
00:20:19,542 --> 00:20:20,832
Smoke bomb!
438
00:20:21,458 --> 00:20:23,918
-The real ninja!
-You gotta save us!
439
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,630
This drill stinks!
440
00:20:26,709 --> 00:20:28,329
(yells)
441
00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:31,830
(grunts)
Separate the clouds,
442
00:20:31,917 --> 00:20:33,327
gather the fallen wind...
443
00:20:33,417 --> 00:20:36,747
Ha-ha! Looks like the ninja's makin'
a Mr. Grumpy.
444
00:20:36,834 --> 00:20:38,504
Right? Am I right?
445
00:20:38,583 --> 00:20:40,083
Come on, you know I'm right.
446
00:20:40,166 --> 00:20:41,956
Tuning them out, focusing,
447
00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:44,171
freeing the chicken...
448
00:20:44,834 --> 00:20:46,634
And ninja air fist!
449
00:20:48,834 --> 00:20:50,834
Sorry! I was aiming for the mantis.
450
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,787
(growling)
451
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,670
Ninja stab! Ninja stab! Ninja stab!
452
00:20:57,750 --> 00:21:00,420
Ninja dodge! Ninja dodge! Ninja dodge!
453
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:03,670
(muttering, grunting)
454
00:21:07,625 --> 00:21:09,535
(both moaning)
455
00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:12,960
Howard, sorry about earlier.
I shouldn't have said that stuff.
456
00:21:13,041 --> 00:21:15,001
I don't think you being the ninja
is ridiculous.
457
00:21:15,083 --> 00:21:17,583
No, it is! It's completely ridiculous!
458
00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:19,167
I don't wanna be the ninja anymore.
459
00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:21,540
You be the ninja.
And it was more about your tone...
460
00:21:21,625 --> 00:21:23,455
(screams)
461
00:21:25,709 --> 00:21:29,079
You can take my swords,
but you'll never take my air fist!
462
00:21:29,166 --> 00:21:30,956
(cheering)
463
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:36,002
-What are you lookin' at?
-I'll be takin' those two weeks
464
00:21:36,083 --> 00:21:37,883
startin' now, if you don't mind.
465
00:21:37,959 --> 00:21:39,289
Mmm-hmm.
466
00:21:40,125 --> 00:21:45,285
(humming)
Brrr.
467
00:21:47,375 --> 00:21:48,785
Mmm, that's cold.
468
00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:51,785
-(all) Ninja! Ninja! Ninja!
-Drill's over.
469
00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:54,665
-Back to class.
-(moaning)
470
00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:57,420
Howard, I want you to know I respect you,
471
00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:59,170
but I'm still gonna make fun of you.
472
00:21:59,250 --> 00:22:01,130
Wouldn't have it any other way.
473
00:22:01,208 --> 00:22:03,918
-Nice scarf.
-It came with the suit!
474
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,710
Grr! We are the monster!
475
00:22:06,792 --> 00:22:09,042
-Monster!
-Air fist!
476
00:22:10,250 --> 00:22:11,290
(both moan)
477
00:22:11,375 --> 00:22:13,625
-That smarts.
-Uh-oh. Now what?
478
00:22:13,709 --> 00:22:14,999
I'm thinkin' smoke bomb.
479
00:22:15,083 --> 00:22:16,793
You know what? I respect that.
480
00:22:16,875 --> 00:22:18,165
Smoke bomb!
481
00:22:18,750 --> 00:22:22,460
(theme music playing)
35589
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