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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,520
We've had another reminder,
about the rent arrears. Oh...
2
00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:05,840
No, Charlie leave it, leave!
3
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:09,320
You get any sleep or were you up all
night playing pickle tickle? Nana!
4
00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:13,800
Future'Z has awarded Eron a sum
of money for his football boots.
5
00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:15,400
How much?
6
00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:17,240
Charlie!
7
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:19,640
Mrs Singh!
I'm fine!
8
00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:22,120
We're getting married!
Oh! Woo-hoo!
9
00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:24,200
This won't affect the grant,
will it?
10
00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,600
Caleb, will you stop teasing
the puppy?!
11
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,400
Yes, yes, do what your mother says.
12
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:43,320
Hey, yous.
13
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:49,200
Go on, No Name.
14
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:54,200
Rummage, find...sweeties, crisps...
Go on, anything. Come on, dog!
15
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:56,840
Not for you, for me, dafty.
16
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,680
Hey, how you getting on with
the blerts?
17
00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:03,000
Mum's making me do this stupid
competition. She's horrible.
18
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,840
Hey, Eron, son. Listen, you couldn't
have a bit of a look, could you?
19
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:10,440
In the back of her kitchen cupboard
for a couple of tins of something?
20
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,480
Bring them up to the van later.
21
00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:15,760
It's just we're a bit short this
week. What, knock em off?
22
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,400
Tell her it's for a tombola.
OK, Nana V.
23
00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:22,120
Oh, and see if you can blag a quilted
bog roll from her, will you?
24
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,520
Grandad's chafing again.
25
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,280
Stay, No Name, stay.
26
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,600
Hiya, Dave. Oh, hiya.
You seen Dave?
27
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,080
Yeah, he's just
leathering down the boats.
28
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:53,760
Ahoy there! Ahh, hello there, girl!
29
00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:54,880
Aww.
30
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,440
Mmm. Oh, that smells good, Dave.
31
00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,440
Want one? Mmm!
32
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:05,240
Dave, put a couple
of rashers on for V. OK!
33
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:06,920
You heading up the Wirral Way?
34
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,800
Dave Wilson, do not tell me that I
35
00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,600
can't take your dog on her usual walk
on the beach.
36
00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:15,280
Veneta, keep your hair on. Listen,
the strand belongs to Her Majesty
37
00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,640
and she trumps you and all your
Wilson Trophy cronies, posh-wise.
38
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,720
Love the ponytail.
I always have a ponytail.
39
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,600
Look, I'm not falling for your
romantic Rhydian act again.
40
00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:25,920
Listen, can I put this notice
up on your board?
41
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,160
Are you qualified?
42
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:30,680
Fully certified. I've got a piece
of paper somewhere under the bed.
43
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,600
And, no, you're not coming to help me
look for it.
44
00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:36,680
Just need to pick your brains,
that's all. That won't take long.
45
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,520
Oi, you!
46
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:42,280
Charlie got a bee sting on her
bum last night. Aww.
47
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,920
She had the screaming abdabs.
Oh, did you try bicarb?
48
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,440
Should I have? Yeah,
that or wrapped her bum in ice.
49
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,640
I'm very handy with
an ice cube, I am.
50
00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,320
I remember.
51
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,880
Listen, you could come
to my first aid class tonight.
52
00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:58,720
That's if you're not too busy
captaining the fleet,
53
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,960
Rear Commodore, Sir.
54
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,800
Those sarnies ready yet?
55
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:08,360
Veneta, don't walk them
near the Marine Lake.
56
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,360
Oh, you can stick your regatta
up your big, fat fishy jumper, Dave.
57
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,840
There's a shout!
58
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,440
Oh, I haven't finished my brekkie.
59
00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,840
Oh, well. It's an ill
wind. There you go, Charlie.
60
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,840
There's a windsurfer in trouble
in the ebb tide.
61
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:24,600
That's the second one this month.
62
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:26,720
Like the surface of the moon out
there.
63
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:30,520
All right, Nana V? All right, Dave.
64
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,440
Tsk! Tsk!
65
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,200
Hey, Ravi, how's the leg?
66
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:37,080
It's not bad. I'm still going to
come with you. Ravi, the book says
67
00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:38,880
if we allow the animal
on the furniture,
68
00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,000
he'll think he's in charge of the
whole family.
69
00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:43,440
Charlie, you are not the alpha. Tsk!
70
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,440
What's that silly noise
you're making?
71
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:48,640
It's the noise a mother dog makes to
control her puppy. Tsk!
72
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,240
Really? Jasmine, I thought you were
crewing this morning.
73
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,160
It's the first heat of the Wilson
Trophy tomorrow. I hate sailing!
74
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,840
I'm sick of having a wet bum.
75
00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,480
It makes my cheeks itch.
76
00:03:58,520 --> 00:03:59,840
You can't let Dave Wilson down.
77
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,760
You just want to wear a long dress
78
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,160
and brown-nose the Rear Commodore
at the Trophy Social.
79
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,600
Look, this is very embarrassing.
80
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,960
I have invited him for dinner
tomorrow night to shore up
81
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,120
your place on the team.
You did that for yourself.
82
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,880
Jasmine! This is one of the world's
most prestigious events.
83
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,960
I would give my right arm to
participate.
84
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,280
You take my place, Naomi.
85
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,680
Please don't use my first name,
Jasmine. It's mum, or mummy.
86
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,320
I am the leader of your pack.
87
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:25,400
You ready, Jas? Yeah. We're going to
go to Nana V's for a couple of days.
88
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,520
Wouldn't it jeopardise Eron's
football boots?
89
00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,920
Are you happy about this, Ravi?
Am if you are.
90
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:33,040
Look, thanks Mr and Mrs Singh, for
letting me stay,
91
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:36,040
but money's not everything.
The best things in life are free.
92
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,000
Well, a wedding certainly isn't
free,
93
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:41,280
so I hope you're both putting that
out of your minds for...
94
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:42,400
Bye, Dad. Bye! Bye.
95
00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:48,720
This way, this way. Come on.
96
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:52,440
That's it, good dogs.
Good dogs, this way.
97
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,640
Hey, Mrs Singh. You want to
keep Charlie away from the edge
of the water,
98
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:59,040
there's a very strong undertow here.
Charlie, no. Tsk.
99
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,240
Yes, good.
100
00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:01,880
Have you seen Mr Wilson?
101
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,200
What? Rear of the year?
102
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,920
Ah, yes, of course,
the work of the RNLI must go on,
103
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,480
Wilson Trophy or no.
104
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,240
Planning on giving him an Andrew
Collinge? Oh, no, I'm hosting
105
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,960
a dinner party tomorrow night in
honour of the Wilson Trophy.
106
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,120
I'm foraging. Oh, yeah, Tony did
that once.
107
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:18,720
Went out with a metal detector.
108
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,160
Found a mouse trap and a used condom
with a safety pin in it.
109
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,720
No, I'm harvesting bladderwrack
to go with my scallops with
110
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,440
Armeria maritima for my confit
of cod with sea thrift leaves
111
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,400
and a cockle vinaigrette. Are you
having chips or mash with that?
112
00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,560
Hey, Dave.
ALL: Yeah.
113
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,480
Fished another one out of a
Welshman's Gut, eh?
114
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,680
Hey, you want to get out there,
Mrs Singh, you can do your
whatsitsing.
115
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:41,120
Foraging. David, I'm afraid I've got
some rather bad news.
116
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,840
Mae Culpa, David,
this is my daughter's mess
117
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:55,920
and I shall clear it up.
118
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,480
You sure you're up to it,
with those old lady's knees?
119
00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:00,200
I insist on being your Beaver.
120
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:04,000
No problem, I'll ring round and...
No, no, no, I don't want to put you
to any more trouble.
121
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,240
I shall give you 110%, Rear
Commodore,
122
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,160
I know how much this means to you.
123
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,400
Hello, Chris. Hi.
124
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,160
Well, you don't want to be runner-up
18 years in a row...
125
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,200
I imagine. I have a feeling this
might be my year.
126
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:18,080
Ah, yes, we'll have the Wilson
Trophy in your hands come Sunday,
if it's the last thing we do.
127
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,880
All right, well it's north-westerly
so watch the shifts,
128
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,480
play the sheets and mind the boom.
129
00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:24,800
Aye, aye, Captain. Yes, it's all
coming back to me now.
130
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:28,200
It's about finesse and dedication,
isn't it? Rather than physique.
131
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:29,560
Oooh!
132
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:30,880
Best of British, Dave?
133
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,000
7:30 for 8:00,
dinner tomorrow night still OK?
134
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,200
Red or white?
135
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,040
No, just bring yourselves.
136
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:54,280
Tim, have we got any of those
bottles of Barolo that
137
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,320
we brought back from Montepulciano?!
138
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:57,960
Hiya, Mrs Beggs.
139
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,520
Oh, hi, Nana V. Ah, hi Liquorice!
140
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,680
Hi, Dave! I thought I told you not t
walk her by the lake.
141
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:08,120
It's a free country.
Good girl, Charlie!
142
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:11,520
How funny, both our dogs are called
Charlie! Great minds.
143
00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,920
Shall I pop her in the car?
Yeah, it's open.
144
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:15,880
MOBILE RINGS
145
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,200
Sorry, I better get this.
146
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:19,640
Ah, it's one of my trustees.
147
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,520
Hello, Mr Denomer.
148
00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,640
Oh, no sorry, I can't hear you!
149
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:27,200
I'm practising for the Wilson
Trophy!
150
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,720
The Future'Z Northwest Financial
Report?
151
00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:34,120
Uh... Yes, the financial section,
yes, it's, it's all prepared.
152
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,320
Yes, I'll get that sent over to you
straightaway. Yes.
153
00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:40,640
Oh! Oh, my phone! No!
154
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:43,000
Oh, hell's bells!
155
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,440
Did you get any ore of those
1p yoghurts?
156
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:51,600
Did I heck, as like. Oh!
157
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:54,240
I had to wait for hours till
they put out the whoopsies
158
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,600
and then they were only
reduced to half price.
159
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,120
No-one can afford half price! Mmm.
160
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:03,000
Anyway, so what are we actually
having for tea then, V?
161
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,360
Tada!
162
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,000
Porridge week again.
Sorry, love.
163
00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,640
You know, you could get some Jaffa
cakes from the food bank.
164
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:13,520
I'd rather get caught on the
five-finger discount than accept
165
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,080
handouts from a vicar's missus.
Now, do you want a cup of tea?
166
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,760
Go on, then, me stomach thinks me
throat's cut.
167
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:25,120
Black do you?
168
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,600
Now that's the end of
the sodding gas.
169
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,520
Have you any takers for the canine
first aid class?
170
00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:37,840
Oh, yeah, I'm drumming up
a load of business there.
171
00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,600
I've told them
it's mandatory in Belgium.
172
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,240
You could give them a certificate.
Hey, that's a good idea.
173
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,280
People'll pay
anything for a piece of paper.
174
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,200
Oh, Tone, bit awkward this, but...
175
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,760
I ran into John Pruddah
on Field Lane.
176
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,280
Ah, you could've gone via
the Cottage Loaf.
177
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:57,320
Well, I had to offer him something.
25 quid towards the arrears.
178
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,480
At least Eron's getting fed.
179
00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:05,080
What's this Craig's sent, eh?
180
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,640
First aid kits?
181
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,600
That vet's given the debt to
a collection agency.
182
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,160
What am I meant to do with them?
183
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,600
You know the time has come, V...
184
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,680
to pawn me wedding ring.
185
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,960
Oh, I am pleased to hear that, Tony.
186
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:22,400
It's been five years since the decree
nisi, it's not healthy to cling
to the past.
187
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:25,280
Hand it over, I'll take it into
Milton's tomorrow.
188
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,960
All this stuff's a dead loss.
189
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,840
I mean, what kind of boring twat
wants lingerie
190
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,120
the colour of cowflops?
191
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,880
Now, I'm sorry but I've only
got ten of these left.
192
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:40,360
I'm going to have to sell them
on a first come, first serve basis.
193
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:43,320
They are 12.95 each or
25.50 for two...
194
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:44,800
I'm so sorry I'm late.
195
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:47,000
Where's your cuddly toy?
196
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:50,040
Er... Nobody mentioned
a cuddly toy.
197
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:53,720
Oh, Dave Wilson's here. Hello, Dave!
I'm sure he'll share with me.
198
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:57,400
I'm helping him out in the Wilson
Trophy. so... Come on, Charlie.
199
00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,120
Come on, Charlie.
200
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,080
Right, I want to move on.
201
00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:03,480
Choking.
202
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:07,680
If you've put your hand inside the
dog's mouth and you cannot
203
00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:11,480
dislodge the object, then you need to
move to the next level.
204
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,600
Erm, Mr Ferguson, could
I just borrow your cuddly toy there?
205
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,480
OK, so what you're going to need to
do... That's a good boy.
206
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,120
Are you listening?
207
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,560
Sorry. All right.
208
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,960
..is put the arms round the chest,
make a fist...
209
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,720
and then find the soft spot
just beneath the ribcage,
210
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,200
and you want to go in and up,
in and up.
211
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,200
Just like that, five times.
212
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,400
Now, you will need to
adjust for size.
213
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,240
Sian with Troy there...
214
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,960
How about trying the wheelbarrow
position. Yeah?
215
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,600
OK, so, er...yeah, Dave,
216
00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,440
you give your elephant to Mrs Singh.
217
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:47,720
Thank you, Dave.
218
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,120
Dave, you can practice on me.
219
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:56,960
OK, so it's arms around the chest.
That's it.
220
00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,000
Make a fist. Find the soft spot.
221
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,600
Mmm. And it's in and up.
222
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:03,960
Uh-uh.
223
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,640
Ooh!
224
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,120
Uh-oh...
225
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:08,440
Mmm. Ugh.
226
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,920
Ooh, you've got a lovely
action there, Dave.
227
00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,680
Uh-Uh. Now, if it doesn't come
easily... Uh-uh.
228
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:15,560
..you're going to have to keep at it.
229
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,640
Ooh! Uh-uh.
230
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:21,720
Oooh. Uh-uh. Oh!
231
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:29,320
Right. There we go, Charlie.
232
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:30,920
It's £2, then.
233
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,840
OK, everybody who wants your first
aid certificates,
234
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,080
can you go and see Mr Fazackerly,
please?
235
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:39,040
He's a part-qualified accountant,
all bona fide.
236
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,720
It is £2, just to cover
the printing costs,
237
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,080
then he'll e-mail it to you.
238
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,000
Oh, Dave, I've still
got your elephant.
239
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,120
Sorry, I've bent the trunk
a little bit.
240
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,680
Erm, could I pop and see Mr F?
Yeah, go and knock him up.
241
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:54,240
He always likes a bit of female
company, even if it is from a minger.
242
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,360
Not that you're a minger,
is she Dave?
243
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:02,360
Dave, Dave, could I have the dog
walking money a bit early this week?
244
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:05,000
Yeah, sure. Tomorrow all right?
245
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,040
Don't forget it's £12
now for pedigrees.
246
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,400
She's not pedigree,
she's a Labradoodle.
247
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:11,960
Exactly. £10 for the lab,
two for the doodle.
248
00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,120
Oh, yes, I'm sure I'll be able to
manage this for you.
249
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:20,520
Oh, thank goodness.
250
00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:24,160
Yes, I'm crewing for The Rear
Commodore's team in the
Wilson Trophy tomorrow.
251
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,960
I've got a dinner party for six and
I haven't even jugged the hare.
252
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,320
So, as you can see, I'm in quite a
fix and I've got another five bags
at home.
253
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:31,920
So... Five?
254
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:35,240
Oh, now hang on a minute.
Tony's got a lot on at the moment.
255
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,280
Well, obviously, as we discussed,
there would be a fee... Even so.
256
00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:41,240
Well, I'm sure we can come to
some arrangement. We pay £8 an hour.
257
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:42,960
We're not interested in money. Ten?
258
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:47,200
What do you think, Tony?
Could you squeeze the lady in? Hmm.
259
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,400
12? All right, on this occasion,
260
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:51,080
16 and we've got a deal.
261
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:54,000
Oh, wonderful. What a relief.
262
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,480
Oh, these are rather nice.
263
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:59,480
Oh... Gorgeous colour, aren't they?
264
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:03,240
Mmm.
Yeah, now, I might have a 32AA.
265
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,200
Well, actually, I'm a 34B.
266
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,800
But do you have a 44G
in this as well?
267
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,800
I know my friend Suke at the sailing
club would absolutely love one.
268
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:14,760
Very classy colour - oatmeal.
Fabulous. Mmm.
269
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:15,960
Is Jasmine all right?
270
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,560
Oh, love's young dream have
gone for a walk.
271
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,720
Oh, well. Thank you again
and big kiss to Jasmine.
272
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,800
Has she gone? You two, plan B.
273
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:34,200
A life on the ocean wave for me
274
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,400
and you two are on doggy day care.
275
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,720
Am I old enough? Well, at 16 you can
have a gay bonk,
276
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,480
get married and look after a pet,
hopefully not at the same time.
277
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,600
But, Nana, we've got something
special planned.
278
00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:46,520
Well, cancel it.
I've got bigger fish to fry...
279
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:49,640
in the form of tummy-tuck and
bum-lift pants.
280
00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:58,120
You wouldn't be interested in any
lingerie by any chance?
281
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:02,000
I've got all sizes.
36DD. No, not interested? No.
282
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,640
You're keeling. Keep her flat.
Oh, bugger. Sorry!
283
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:06,760
Lady in the brown coat, excuse me?
284
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:10,320
You don't need to try it on, I'm
perfectly happy for you to take them
with you.
285
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,000
Hi, sorry to bother you.
286
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:13,360
Erm...
287
00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,440
I couldn't interest you in...in any
pants, could I?
288
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,680
You sure? They're like a nice oatmeal
colour.
289
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:24,920
You don't fancy a pair of
gruel pants, do you?
290
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:29,120
I've got a couple of items here. I've
got like an oatmeal, gruel, a tope?
291
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,480
Couldn't interest
you in a control pant?
292
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:33,680
You don't need it, do you?
Have you given up?
293
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,400
Nice day, isn't it,
for the sailing and that?
294
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,560
Hiya. Enjoying it?
Your dog's nice.
295
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,640
Yeah, she's lovely, isn't she? Yeah.
296
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,920
Come on, babe, let's go to the
island so we can be on our own.
297
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,360
We've had a terrific day!
298
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,120
We're through!
299
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,760
Oh, Charlie, no. Tsk, tsk.
300
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,280
The red wine's breathing.
301
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:15,440
Excellent. I'll start grilling the
duck's hearts after I've had my
bath.
302
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,960
I don't want to have itchy
buttocks when we've got guests.
303
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,600
Oh, Ravi, when you've got a moment,
there are some dry baked
304
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:24,200
beetroot slices and wasabi peas that
can go in the blue bowls. Thanks.
305
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:25,680
HE SIGHS
306
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:38,120
Hiya. Hi. I just brought the Future'Z
paperwork that our Tony's
307
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,280
done for Mrs Singh. Oh, right.
308
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,960
And I do need to collect
the next lot. She won't be long.
309
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:55,920
Our Eron here?
310
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,680
They're staying at yours, I thought?
311
00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:01,760
Oh, yeah. We're like ships
in the night at the moment.
312
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,400
MOBILE RINGS
313
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,400
Nana V, for all your dogging needs.
314
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,040
Your dog's not back yet?
315
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,880
Oh, no, no, no, no,
I do know all about that.
316
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:22,320
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I just spoke
to me grandson, actually, yeah.
317
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,880
He'll be dropping
Bobbysox off any minute.
318
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,920
Not to worry. Thanks, Mr Lakin.
319
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:31,880
Eron, son, where are you? I've got
the day care owners
320
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:34,880
breathing down my neck.
Call me, will you, yeah?
321
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,640
Oh, Mrs Fazackerly.
322
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,720
Hello, Mrs Singh, yeah.
Nice clobber - peshwari naan?
323
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,840
Here's the next
batch for your husband.
324
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,680
Oh, is that my oatmeal lingerie?
325
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,320
Mm-hm. That'll be 17.99.
326
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,280
DOORBELL RINGS
327
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,520
What, you want me to go down
the cash point for you?
328
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:52,880
Oh, do you not have a card machine?
329
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:56,080
No. I'm sorry, I can't give my pin
number out to just anybody.
330
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:59,040
Then I will need to withhold
the goods.
331
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,840
Coming.
332
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,200
Hello! Do come in.
333
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,560
Mwah.
334
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,280
Hey, tip-top work today.
335
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:09,760
Oh, thank you, David.
There you go. Oh, you are naughty
336
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,240
Hello, V. Hiya.
337
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:13,520
How was Charlie today?
338
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,480
Oh, yeah, yeah,
he was as good as gold, yeah.
339
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:19,080
I just dropped him
off, actually, at your house now.
340
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:20,680
You're looking good, Captain Cook.
341
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,360
I see you made an effort.
342
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:25,200
Eh, I scrub up well. Mmm, I remember.
343
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,800
DOORBELL RINGS
344
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:30,040
Do come in. Come through. Hi, Suke.
345
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:31,320
Danielle!
346
00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:34,160
Hiya. Tim.
347
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,560
How's Liquorice getting on with
the toilet training?
348
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:37,720
She's doing really well.
349
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,400
She did do a poo on the bed, though.
Oh, she's coming on then.
350
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,240
Brought you a little something from
the French Laundry at Napa.
351
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,240
It's a Frank Family pinot noir,
which is...
352
00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,040
Well, it's pretty decent.
353
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,440
Oh, wonderful, look at that.
354
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,680
Ravi, can you pop that in the cellar
when you're going past? Sure.
355
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,520
Great! Oh, Mrs Fazackerly,
I'd love to invite you to join us,
356
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,200
but I'm sure you've already eaten.
357
00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,520
Erm...
And we haven't got enough chairs.
358
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:02,680
Oh, you can sit on my lap, V.
359
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,320
I could sit on this.
360
00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:07,000
Oh, no please be careful,
that's a bridal chair from Laos.
361
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,680
Hmm. Might be my lucky night, then.
362
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:12,400
So, what's for dinner then,
able seaman?
363
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,840
GLASS SMASHES
Oh, no!
364
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,840
I paid £180 for that!
They saw you coming.
365
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,160
Charlie, sit.
366
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:26,400
So, our third course is grilled duck
hearts with potato pillows.
367
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,240
So, the Beavers are in pole
position.
368
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:45,440
Well done, you!
369
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,360
Yay!
370
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,360
Are you a sailor, Nana V?
371
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:54,920
Hm. I wouldn't say no to
a ship's biscuit.
372
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,560
Yes, it's quite a challenge.
373
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,080
You have to be pretty nimble,
374
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,520
messing about on boats, don't you,
Suke? Yes.
375
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,400
She's like me. Built-in buoyancy
aids, eh?
376
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,560
Yes, well you need to be pretty
athletic.
377
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:08,280
Oh, not that I'm implying
that... I mean, I know you...
378
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:09,480
do a lot of dog walking.
379
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,080
You and me weigh about the same.
You're just very long.
380
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:14,280
A stretched out version of
the same mass.
381
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,800
Do you think?
382
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,320
Would anyone like another
potato pillow? I won't.
383
00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:26,440
I will. They were very nice,
you must give me the recipe.
384
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:30,000
Oh, it's very easy.
It's just braised in beeswax with
385
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,840
a dollop of sea herb mouli.
386
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:35,160
Yes, I've had them at El Bulli.
These are a slightly different...
387
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,440
texture.
388
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:46,720
So he's ignoring the medical advice
and going ahead with his bike tour.
389
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,240
Tony, I'm getting worried.
390
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:50,760
Where is he?
391
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,600
And then, after Norway,
they're heading down to France.
392
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,480
And that's our third leg.
You not heard anything, love?
393
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,080
I've had to give the owners
a load of flannel.
394
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,960
And there are 21
switchbacks up the Alpe D'Huez?
395
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,160
Where are they?
396
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:07,000
A mate of mine had a pulmonary
embolism at 4,000 meters, so...good
luck!
397
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:10,440
All right, love, yeah.
As soon as you hear anything, yeah?
398
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,720
OK, bye, Tony, love.
399
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,640
You really going to do that? Yeah.
400
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,640
Won't do your thighs any harm....
401
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,600
You got any bread with this, love?
402
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:31,360
Tim! Sorry it's all taking so long.
403
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,600
Probably should all be
getting our beauty sleep!
404
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,160
Oh, I like to pull an all-nighter
before a big race.
405
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,360
I remember.
It's probably why you never win.
406
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:44,680
Is that going begging, Mrs Beggs?
I'm terribly full. Pass it over.
407
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,400
Oh, God, I've got to get this.
It's KL.
408
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,360
That's a reliable lubricant.
Kuala Lumpur.
409
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,120
Mmm. Exactly.
410
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:05,680
Got to get this. It's, erm...
Oh, it's a client.
411
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:07,040
It's three in the morning!
412
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,240
Tony, yeah?
413
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,880
That can't be...
414
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:16,960
Tony, is there something
you're not telling me?
415
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,200
Pudding, everyone?
Ummmm...
416
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,040
Charlie? Charlie!
417
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,760
Oh, my God, he's choking to death.
Ravi, do something!
418
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,080
What are we supposed to do?
419
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:29,240
Dave knows the in and up better
than anyone else.
420
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:30,680
Oh, was that a wasabi pea?
421
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,000
SHE SCREAMS
422
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,480
Stop screaming,
you hysterical woman!
423
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,680
The dogs are stranded in the
estuary! Where's Jasmine?
424
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:41,880
And the kids!
SHE SCREAMS
425
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,600
They've been there all
night. They must be frozen.
426
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,320
I can think of ways
in which they could keep warm.
427
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,880
There they are!
Nana! Over here!
428
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,040
Jasmine!
429
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,760
I'll try and pull in...
Where's Charlie Wilson?
430
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,440
Charlie?! Where's my dog?!
431
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,240
She's over there!
She's ran off!
432
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,560
We're so sorry!
We couldn't catch her!
433
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,680
The tide's racing.
The dog could drown, Dave,
434
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:17,960
unless we can get in quick.
435
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,240
Oh, shut up, V,
this is all your fault.
436
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:22,480
Oh, you don't need to tell me
that, Dave!
437
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,280
It doesn't help that your daughter
is as thick as a cocoa room cup.
438
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:28,040
What? You've put her in grave
danger!
439
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,400
We're so sorry! Nana!
440
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,720
I called this wrong.
I can't bring her in over the rocks.
441
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,760
Right, Dave, you go
and pick up the kids. What?
442
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,280
I'm going to swim in on the tide.
443
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,880
What are you trying to achieve?
It's only a bloody dog!
444
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,320
Don't worry, Jasmine,
mummy's on her way!
445
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,480
I'm coming, Charlie. I'm coming!
446
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:10,960
Charlie, Charlie!
447
00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:13,760
Come on, girlie.
448
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,360
Come on, Nana's come for you.
449
00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:20,200
Come on, Charlie. Come on, girl.
450
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,040
Aww.
451
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,440
Come on.
452
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,360
Come on, baby.
453
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:28,880
You're terrified.
454
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,800
You been drinking sea water?
455
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,040
Throwing up? Shitting yourself?
456
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:40,640
Come to Nana. Come to Nana.
457
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,800
I could kill you.
458
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,120
Fair play.
459
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:14,480
You love that dog more than
you love any of your lady friends.
You're right, there.
460
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,880
Well, I know where you're
coming from.
461
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:18,880
I grew up in children's' homes, so...
462
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:21,560
Why'd you chuck me?
463
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,760
I wanted to get in there first.
464
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,200
Here's your tea.
People, eh?
465
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,000
You can't trust em.
466
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:35,600
I'll drink to that.
467
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,320
And so will Charlie,
won't you, girl, eh?
468
00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:40,720
You know what you could do with?
469
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,680
Some of my first aid kits here.
And last but not least.
470
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:47,200
Oh, thank you so much.
Did you say your name was David?
471
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,200
Just call me Dave. Dave, thank you.
472
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:50,760
HORN BLARES
473
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:53,520
Right, Naomi.
474
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,160
Ready to race?
475
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:58,720
Come on.
476
00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:14,000
Congratulations to the winners...
477
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,120
The Arrow Park Portnoy-Noars.
478
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,840
And the runners up this year...
479
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:25,200
for the 18th time,
Captained by Dave Wilson,
480
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:26,800
the Beacon Beavers.
481
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,000
You did your ancestors proud,
well done.
482
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:34,520
Thank you very much. Very good.
483
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:37,400
Don't they...?
Don't they say my name?
484
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:40,000
David, wasn't it wonderful we hit
that north-westerly?
485
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,600
We really had the edge.
We did indeed. Very impressive.
486
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:45,080
I didn't know you could teach
an old dog new tricks Tim!
487
00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:48,640
I'm not saying, you know,
you're an old dog, obviously.
488
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,640
Dead nice dress, Naomi.
Oh, thank you.
489
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:53,160
Very brave choice,
matches the chairs.
490
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:58,560
Oh, here comes that bloody woman who
nearly drowned Jasmine.
491
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,960
Oh, hello, Charlie dog. Ah...
492
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,840
You look like you've recovered.
493
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:09,600
All right, V? Ah, Dave...
494
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,640
Listen, I won't charge you for
Charlie's day care yesterday,
495
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,520
obviously, but...
496
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:18,320
could I have the previous £12,
please?
497
00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:19,680
You are joking?
498
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:24,440
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, course I am, yeah.
499
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,760
SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
500
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,400
Got you there.
501
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,760
Oh, just hand it over, Dave.
502
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:36,560
Very sexy, the...oatmeal lingerie.
503
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:37,800
Thanks, Dave.
504
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,760
I must pay you. I love mine.
505
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:44,440
I was showing the Rear Commodore
when he came round to mine
for a cup of tea.
506
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:45,560
Thank you.
507
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,720
There you go.
508
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,120
Well worth it.
509
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:56,440
Oh, Mrs Singh.
510
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,040
Got your 32AA here.
511
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,680
Er, no, I think I've had a
bit of a rethink, actually,
512
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,880
having seen it on you.
It's rather pallid.
513
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,640
Well, can I have Tony's
wages then, please?
514
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,560
Oh, no, you'll need to invoice
Future'Z Head Office for those.
515
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,960
Yes. It should be in your account
within 90 days.
516
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,520
Charlie! Charlie!
517
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,720
Ah. You had me worried.
518
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:01,120
What took you so long?
519
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,400
I went via The Cottage Loaf.
Oh...
520
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:07,160
HE LAUGHS
And the shops!
521
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:09,920
Oh, you're a wonder.
I was wasting away here.
522
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:13,040
Got a meat feast...whole
rotisserie chicken,
523
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,680
two bag of cod and big chips.
524
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:17,440
Think I've got a biryani
somewhere.
525
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:20,880
Oh, here we go.
Something in a black bean sauce.
526
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:25,000
Marvellous. Ah, No Name, would
you like a little bit of chicken?
527
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:26,640
There's a good dog.
528
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,440
Wait.
529
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:31,960
Good girl, eat it.
530
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:41,560
Tone, that's the upside of porridge
week - you've lost weight.
531
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:45,520
You'll be out of this van before
you can say Gina Lollobrigida.
532
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,360
Hand it over, love, I'll take
it into Milton's in the morning.
533
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:50,520
Well...
534
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:55,320
As we're nearly out the woods...I
could keep it on for now.
42130
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