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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,520 We've had another reminder, about the rent arrears. Oh... 2 00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:05,840 No, Charlie leave it, leave! 3 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:09,320 You get any sleep or were you up all night playing pickle tickle? Nana! 4 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:13,800 Future'Z has awarded Eron a sum of money for his football boots. 5 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:15,400 How much? 6 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:17,240 Charlie! 7 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:19,640 Mrs Singh! I'm fine! 8 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:22,120 We're getting married! Oh! Woo-hoo! 9 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:24,200 This won't affect the grant, will it? 10 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,600 Caleb, will you stop teasing the puppy?! 11 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,400 Yes, yes, do what your mother says. 12 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:43,320 Hey, yous. 13 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:49,200 Go on, No Name. 14 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:54,200 Rummage, find...sweeties, crisps... Go on, anything. Come on, dog! 15 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:56,840 Not for you, for me, dafty. 16 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,680 Hey, how you getting on with the blerts? 17 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:03,000 Mum's making me do this stupid competition. She's horrible. 18 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,840 Hey, Eron, son. Listen, you couldn't have a bit of a look, could you? 19 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:10,440 In the back of her kitchen cupboard for a couple of tins of something? 20 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,480 Bring them up to the van later. 21 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:15,760 It's just we're a bit short this week. What, knock em off? 22 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,400 Tell her it's for a tombola. OK, Nana V. 23 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:22,120 Oh, and see if you can blag a quilted bog roll from her, will you? 24 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,520 Grandad's chafing again. 25 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,280 Stay, No Name, stay. 26 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,600 Hiya, Dave. Oh, hiya. You seen Dave? 27 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,080 Yeah, he's just leathering down the boats. 28 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:53,760 Ahoy there! Ahh, hello there, girl! 29 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:54,880 Aww. 30 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,440 Mmm. Oh, that smells good, Dave. 31 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,440 Want one? Mmm! 32 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:05,240 Dave, put a couple of rashers on for V. OK! 33 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:06,920 You heading up the Wirral Way? 34 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,800 Dave Wilson, do not tell me that I 35 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,600 can't take your dog on her usual walk on the beach. 36 00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:15,280 Veneta, keep your hair on. Listen, the strand belongs to Her Majesty 37 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,640 and she trumps you and all your Wilson Trophy cronies, posh-wise. 38 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,720 Love the ponytail. I always have a ponytail. 39 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,600 Look, I'm not falling for your romantic Rhydian act again. 40 00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:25,920 Listen, can I put this notice up on your board? 41 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,160 Are you qualified? 42 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:30,680 Fully certified. I've got a piece of paper somewhere under the bed. 43 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,600 And, no, you're not coming to help me look for it. 44 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:36,680 Just need to pick your brains, that's all. That won't take long. 45 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,520 Oi, you! 46 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:42,280 Charlie got a bee sting on her bum last night. Aww. 47 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,920 She had the screaming abdabs. Oh, did you try bicarb? 48 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,440 Should I have? Yeah, that or wrapped her bum in ice. 49 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,640 I'm very handy with an ice cube, I am. 50 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,320 I remember. 51 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,880 Listen, you could come to my first aid class tonight. 52 00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:58,720 That's if you're not too busy captaining the fleet, 53 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,960 Rear Commodore, Sir. 54 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,800 Those sarnies ready yet? 55 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:08,360 Veneta, don't walk them near the Marine Lake. 56 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,360 Oh, you can stick your regatta up your big, fat fishy jumper, Dave. 57 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,840 There's a shout! 58 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,440 Oh, I haven't finished my brekkie. 59 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,840 Oh, well. It's an ill wind. There you go, Charlie. 60 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,840 There's a windsurfer in trouble in the ebb tide. 61 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:24,600 That's the second one this month. 62 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:26,720 Like the surface of the moon out there. 63 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:30,520 All right, Nana V? All right, Dave. 64 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,440 Tsk! Tsk! 65 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,200 Hey, Ravi, how's the leg? 66 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:37,080 It's not bad. I'm still going to come with you. Ravi, the book says 67 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:38,880 if we allow the animal on the furniture, 68 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,000 he'll think he's in charge of the whole family. 69 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:43,440 Charlie, you are not the alpha. Tsk! 70 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,440 What's that silly noise you're making? 71 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:48,640 It's the noise a mother dog makes to control her puppy. Tsk! 72 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,240 Really? Jasmine, I thought you were crewing this morning. 73 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,160 It's the first heat of the Wilson Trophy tomorrow. I hate sailing! 74 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,840 I'm sick of having a wet bum. 75 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,480 It makes my cheeks itch. 76 00:03:58,520 --> 00:03:59,840 You can't let Dave Wilson down. 77 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,760 You just want to wear a long dress 78 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,160 and brown-nose the Rear Commodore at the Trophy Social. 79 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,600 Look, this is very embarrassing. 80 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,960 I have invited him for dinner tomorrow night to shore up 81 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,120 your place on the team. You did that for yourself. 82 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,880 Jasmine! This is one of the world's most prestigious events. 83 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,960 I would give my right arm to participate. 84 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,280 You take my place, Naomi. 85 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,680 Please don't use my first name, Jasmine. It's mum, or mummy. 86 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,320 I am the leader of your pack. 87 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:25,400 You ready, Jas? Yeah. We're going to go to Nana V's for a couple of days. 88 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,520 Wouldn't it jeopardise Eron's football boots? 89 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,920 Are you happy about this, Ravi? Am if you are. 90 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:33,040 Look, thanks Mr and Mrs Singh, for letting me stay, 91 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:36,040 but money's not everything. The best things in life are free. 92 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,000 Well, a wedding certainly isn't free, 93 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:41,280 so I hope you're both putting that out of your minds for... 94 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:42,400 Bye, Dad. Bye! Bye. 95 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:48,720 This way, this way. Come on. 96 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:52,440 That's it, good dogs. Good dogs, this way. 97 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,640 Hey, Mrs Singh. You want to keep Charlie away from the edge of the water, 98 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:59,040 there's a very strong undertow here. Charlie, no. Tsk. 99 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,240 Yes, good. 100 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:01,880 Have you seen Mr Wilson? 101 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,200 What? Rear of the year? 102 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,920 Ah, yes, of course, the work of the RNLI must go on, 103 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,480 Wilson Trophy or no. 104 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,240 Planning on giving him an Andrew Collinge? Oh, no, I'm hosting 105 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,960 a dinner party tomorrow night in honour of the Wilson Trophy. 106 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,120 I'm foraging. Oh, yeah, Tony did that once. 107 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:18,720 Went out with a metal detector. 108 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,160 Found a mouse trap and a used condom with a safety pin in it. 109 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,720 No, I'm harvesting bladderwrack to go with my scallops with 110 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,440 Armeria maritima for my confit of cod with sea thrift leaves 111 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,400 and a cockle vinaigrette. Are you having chips or mash with that? 112 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,560 Hey, Dave. ALL: Yeah. 113 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,480 Fished another one out of a Welshman's Gut, eh? 114 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,680 Hey, you want to get out there, Mrs Singh, you can do your whatsitsing. 115 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:41,120 Foraging. David, I'm afraid I've got some rather bad news. 116 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,840 Mae Culpa, David, this is my daughter's mess 117 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:55,920 and I shall clear it up. 118 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,480 You sure you're up to it, with those old lady's knees? 119 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:00,200 I insist on being your Beaver. 120 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:04,000 No problem, I'll ring round and... No, no, no, I don't want to put you to any more trouble. 121 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,240 I shall give you 110%, Rear Commodore, 122 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,160 I know how much this means to you. 123 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,400 Hello, Chris. Hi. 124 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,160 Well, you don't want to be runner-up 18 years in a row... 125 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,200 I imagine. I have a feeling this might be my year. 126 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:18,080 Ah, yes, we'll have the Wilson Trophy in your hands come Sunday, if it's the last thing we do. 127 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,880 All right, well it's north-westerly so watch the shifts, 128 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,480 play the sheets and mind the boom. 129 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:24,800 Aye, aye, Captain. Yes, it's all coming back to me now. 130 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:28,200 It's about finesse and dedication, isn't it? Rather than physique. 131 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:29,560 Oooh! 132 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:30,880 Best of British, Dave? 133 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,000 7:30 for 8:00, dinner tomorrow night still OK? 134 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,200 Red or white? 135 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,040 No, just bring yourselves. 136 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:54,280 Tim, have we got any of those bottles of Barolo that 137 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,320 we brought back from Montepulciano?! 138 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:57,960 Hiya, Mrs Beggs. 139 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,520 Oh, hi, Nana V. Ah, hi Liquorice! 140 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,680 Hi, Dave! I thought I told you not t walk her by the lake. 141 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:08,120 It's a free country. Good girl, Charlie! 142 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:11,520 How funny, both our dogs are called Charlie! Great minds. 143 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,920 Shall I pop her in the car? Yeah, it's open. 144 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:15,880 MOBILE RINGS 145 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,200 Sorry, I better get this. 146 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:19,640 Ah, it's one of my trustees. 147 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,520 Hello, Mr Denomer. 148 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,640 Oh, no sorry, I can't hear you! 149 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:27,200 I'm practising for the Wilson Trophy! 150 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,720 The Future'Z Northwest Financial Report? 151 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:34,120 Uh... Yes, the financial section, yes, it's, it's all prepared. 152 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,320 Yes, I'll get that sent over to you straightaway. Yes. 153 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:40,640 Oh! Oh, my phone! No! 154 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:43,000 Oh, hell's bells! 155 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,440 Did you get any ore of those 1p yoghurts? 156 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:51,600 Did I heck, as like. Oh! 157 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:54,240 I had to wait for hours till they put out the whoopsies 158 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,600 and then they were only reduced to half price. 159 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,120 No-one can afford half price! Mmm. 160 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:03,000 Anyway, so what are we actually having for tea then, V? 161 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,360 Tada! 162 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,000 Porridge week again. Sorry, love. 163 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,640 You know, you could get some Jaffa cakes from the food bank. 164 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:13,520 I'd rather get caught on the five-finger discount than accept 165 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,080 handouts from a vicar's missus. Now, do you want a cup of tea? 166 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,760 Go on, then, me stomach thinks me throat's cut. 167 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:25,120 Black do you? 168 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,600 Now that's the end of the sodding gas. 169 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,520 Have you any takers for the canine first aid class? 170 00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:37,840 Oh, yeah, I'm drumming up a load of business there. 171 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,600 I've told them it's mandatory in Belgium. 172 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,240 You could give them a certificate. Hey, that's a good idea. 173 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,280 People'll pay anything for a piece of paper. 174 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,200 Oh, Tone, bit awkward this, but... 175 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,760 I ran into John Pruddah on Field Lane. 176 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,280 Ah, you could've gone via the Cottage Loaf. 177 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:57,320 Well, I had to offer him something. 25 quid towards the arrears. 178 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,480 At least Eron's getting fed. 179 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:05,080 What's this Craig's sent, eh? 180 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,640 First aid kits? 181 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,600 That vet's given the debt to a collection agency. 182 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,160 What am I meant to do with them? 183 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,600 You know the time has come, V... 184 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,680 to pawn me wedding ring. 185 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,960 Oh, I am pleased to hear that, Tony. 186 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:22,400 It's been five years since the decree nisi, it's not healthy to cling to the past. 187 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:25,280 Hand it over, I'll take it into Milton's tomorrow. 188 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,960 All this stuff's a dead loss. 189 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,840 I mean, what kind of boring twat wants lingerie 190 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,120 the colour of cowflops? 191 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,880 Now, I'm sorry but I've only got ten of these left. 192 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:40,360 I'm going to have to sell them on a first come, first serve basis. 193 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:43,320 They are 12.95 each or 25.50 for two... 194 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:44,800 I'm so sorry I'm late. 195 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:47,000 Where's your cuddly toy? 196 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:50,040 Er... Nobody mentioned a cuddly toy. 197 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:53,720 Oh, Dave Wilson's here. Hello, Dave! I'm sure he'll share with me. 198 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:57,400 I'm helping him out in the Wilson Trophy. so... Come on, Charlie. 199 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,120 Come on, Charlie. 200 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,080 Right, I want to move on. 201 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:03,480 Choking. 202 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:07,680 If you've put your hand inside the dog's mouth and you cannot 203 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:11,480 dislodge the object, then you need to move to the next level. 204 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,600 Erm, Mr Ferguson, could I just borrow your cuddly toy there? 205 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,480 OK, so what you're going to need to do... That's a good boy. 206 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,120 Are you listening? 207 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,560 Sorry. All right. 208 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,960 ..is put the arms round the chest, make a fist... 209 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,720 and then find the soft spot just beneath the ribcage, 210 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,200 and you want to go in and up, in and up. 211 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,200 Just like that, five times. 212 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:35,400 Now, you will need to adjust for size. 213 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,240 Sian with Troy there... 214 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,960 How about trying the wheelbarrow position. Yeah? 215 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,600 OK, so, er...yeah, Dave, 216 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,440 you give your elephant to Mrs Singh. 217 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:47,720 Thank you, Dave. 218 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,120 Dave, you can practice on me. 219 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:56,960 OK, so it's arms around the chest. That's it. 220 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,000 Make a fist. Find the soft spot. 221 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,600 Mmm. And it's in and up. 222 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:03,960 Uh-uh. 223 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,640 Ooh! 224 00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,120 Uh-oh... 225 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:08,440 Mmm. Ugh. 226 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,920 Ooh, you've got a lovely action there, Dave. 227 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,680 Uh-Uh. Now, if it doesn't come easily... Uh-uh. 228 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:15,560 ..you're going to have to keep at it. 229 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,640 Ooh! Uh-uh. 230 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:21,720 Oooh. Uh-uh. Oh! 231 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:29,320 Right. There we go, Charlie. 232 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:30,920 It's £2, then. 233 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,840 OK, everybody who wants your first aid certificates, 234 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,080 can you go and see Mr Fazackerly, please? 235 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:39,040 He's a part-qualified accountant, all bona fide. 236 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,720 It is £2, just to cover the printing costs, 237 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,080 then he'll e-mail it to you. 238 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,000 Oh, Dave, I've still got your elephant. 239 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,120 Sorry, I've bent the trunk a little bit. 240 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,680 Erm, could I pop and see Mr F? Yeah, go and knock him up. 241 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:54,240 He always likes a bit of female company, even if it is from a minger. 242 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,360 Not that you're a minger, is she Dave? 243 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:02,360 Dave, Dave, could I have the dog walking money a bit early this week? 244 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:05,000 Yeah, sure. Tomorrow all right? 245 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,040 Don't forget it's £12 now for pedigrees. 246 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,400 She's not pedigree, she's a Labradoodle. 247 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:11,960 Exactly. £10 for the lab, two for the doodle. 248 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,120 Oh, yes, I'm sure I'll be able to manage this for you. 249 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:20,520 Oh, thank goodness. 250 00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:24,160 Yes, I'm crewing for The Rear Commodore's team in the Wilson Trophy tomorrow. 251 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,960 I've got a dinner party for six and I haven't even jugged the hare. 252 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,320 So, as you can see, I'm in quite a fix and I've got another five bags at home. 253 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:31,920 So... Five? 254 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:35,240 Oh, now hang on a minute. Tony's got a lot on at the moment. 255 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,280 Well, obviously, as we discussed, there would be a fee... Even so. 256 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:41,240 Well, I'm sure we can come to some arrangement. We pay £8 an hour. 257 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:42,960 We're not interested in money. Ten? 258 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:47,200 What do you think, Tony? Could you squeeze the lady in? Hmm. 259 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,400 12? All right, on this occasion, 260 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:51,080 16 and we've got a deal. 261 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:54,000 Oh, wonderful. What a relief. 262 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,480 Oh, these are rather nice. 263 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:59,480 Oh... Gorgeous colour, aren't they? 264 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:03,240 Mmm. Yeah, now, I might have a 32AA. 265 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,200 Well, actually, I'm a 34B. 266 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,800 But do you have a 44G in this as well? 267 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,800 I know my friend Suke at the sailing club would absolutely love one. 268 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:14,760 Very classy colour - oatmeal. Fabulous. Mmm. 269 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:15,960 Is Jasmine all right? 270 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,560 Oh, love's young dream have gone for a walk. 271 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,720 Oh, well. Thank you again and big kiss to Jasmine. 272 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,800 Has she gone? You two, plan B. 273 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:34,200 A life on the ocean wave for me 274 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,400 and you two are on doggy day care. 275 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,720 Am I old enough? Well, at 16 you can have a gay bonk, 276 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,480 get married and look after a pet, hopefully not at the same time. 277 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,600 But, Nana, we've got something special planned. 278 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:46,520 Well, cancel it. I've got bigger fish to fry... 279 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:49,640 in the form of tummy-tuck and bum-lift pants. 280 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:58,120 You wouldn't be interested in any lingerie by any chance? 281 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:02,000 I've got all sizes. 36DD. No, not interested? No. 282 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,640 You're keeling. Keep her flat. Oh, bugger. Sorry! 283 00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:06,760 Lady in the brown coat, excuse me? 284 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:10,320 You don't need to try it on, I'm perfectly happy for you to take them with you. 285 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,000 Hi, sorry to bother you. 286 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:13,360 Erm... 287 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,440 I couldn't interest you in...in any pants, could I? 288 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,680 You sure? They're like a nice oatmeal colour. 289 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:24,920 You don't fancy a pair of gruel pants, do you? 290 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:29,120 I've got a couple of items here. I've got like an oatmeal, gruel, a tope? 291 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,480 Couldn't interest you in a control pant? 292 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:33,680 You don't need it, do you? Have you given up? 293 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,400 Nice day, isn't it, for the sailing and that? 294 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,560 Hiya. Enjoying it? Your dog's nice. 295 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,640 Yeah, she's lovely, isn't she? Yeah. 296 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,920 Come on, babe, let's go to the island so we can be on our own. 297 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,360 We've had a terrific day! 298 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,120 We're through! 299 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,760 Oh, Charlie, no. Tsk, tsk. 300 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,280 The red wine's breathing. 301 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:15,440 Excellent. I'll start grilling the duck's hearts after I've had my bath. 302 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,960 I don't want to have itchy buttocks when we've got guests. 303 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,600 Oh, Ravi, when you've got a moment, there are some dry baked 304 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:24,200 beetroot slices and wasabi peas that can go in the blue bowls. Thanks. 305 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:25,680 HE SIGHS 306 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:38,120 Hiya. Hi. I just brought the Future'Z paperwork that our Tony's 307 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,280 done for Mrs Singh. Oh, right. 308 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,960 And I do need to collect the next lot. She won't be long. 309 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:55,920 Our Eron here? 310 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,680 They're staying at yours, I thought? 311 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:01,760 Oh, yeah. We're like ships in the night at the moment. 312 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,400 MOBILE RINGS 313 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,400 Nana V, for all your dogging needs. 314 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,040 Your dog's not back yet? 315 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,880 Oh, no, no, no, no, I do know all about that. 316 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:22,320 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I just spoke to me grandson, actually, yeah. 317 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,880 He'll be dropping Bobbysox off any minute. 318 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,920 Not to worry. Thanks, Mr Lakin. 319 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:31,880 Eron, son, where are you? I've got the day care owners 320 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:34,880 breathing down my neck. Call me, will you, yeah? 321 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,640 Oh, Mrs Fazackerly. 322 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,720 Hello, Mrs Singh, yeah. Nice clobber - peshwari naan? 323 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,840 Here's the next batch for your husband. 324 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,680 Oh, is that my oatmeal lingerie? 325 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,320 Mm-hm. That'll be 17.99. 326 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,280 DOORBELL RINGS 327 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,520 What, you want me to go down the cash point for you? 328 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:52,880 Oh, do you not have a card machine? 329 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:56,080 No. I'm sorry, I can't give my pin number out to just anybody. 330 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:59,040 Then I will need to withhold the goods. 331 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,840 Coming. 332 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,200 Hello! Do come in. 333 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,560 Mwah. 334 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,280 Hey, tip-top work today. 335 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:09,760 Oh, thank you, David. There you go. Oh, you are naughty 336 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,240 Hello, V. Hiya. 337 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:13,520 How was Charlie today? 338 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,480 Oh, yeah, yeah, he was as good as gold, yeah. 339 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:19,080 I just dropped him off, actually, at your house now. 340 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:20,680 You're looking good, Captain Cook. 341 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,360 I see you made an effort. 342 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:25,200 Eh, I scrub up well. Mmm, I remember. 343 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,800 DOORBELL RINGS 344 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:30,040 Do come in. Come through. Hi, Suke. 345 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:31,320 Danielle! 346 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:34,160 Hiya. Tim. 347 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,560 How's Liquorice getting on with the toilet training? 348 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:37,720 She's doing really well. 349 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,400 She did do a poo on the bed, though. Oh, she's coming on then. 350 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,240 Brought you a little something from the French Laundry at Napa. 351 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,240 It's a Frank Family pinot noir, which is... 352 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,040 Well, it's pretty decent. 353 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,440 Oh, wonderful, look at that. 354 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,680 Ravi, can you pop that in the cellar when you're going past? Sure. 355 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,520 Great! Oh, Mrs Fazackerly, I'd love to invite you to join us, 356 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,200 but I'm sure you've already eaten. 357 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,520 Erm... And we haven't got enough chairs. 358 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:02,680 Oh, you can sit on my lap, V. 359 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,320 I could sit on this. 360 00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:07,000 Oh, no please be careful, that's a bridal chair from Laos. 361 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,680 Hmm. Might be my lucky night, then. 362 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:12,400 So, what's for dinner then, able seaman? 363 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,840 GLASS SMASHES Oh, no! 364 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,840 I paid £180 for that! They saw you coming. 365 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,160 Charlie, sit. 366 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:26,400 So, our third course is grilled duck hearts with potato pillows. 367 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,240 So, the Beavers are in pole position. 368 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:45,440 Well done, you! 369 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,360 Yay! 370 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,360 Are you a sailor, Nana V? 371 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:54,920 Hm. I wouldn't say no to a ship's biscuit. 372 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,560 Yes, it's quite a challenge. 373 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,080 You have to be pretty nimble, 374 00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,520 messing about on boats, don't you, Suke? Yes. 375 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,400 She's like me. Built-in buoyancy aids, eh? 376 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,560 Yes, well you need to be pretty athletic. 377 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:08,280 Oh, not that I'm implying that... I mean, I know you... 378 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:09,480 do a lot of dog walking. 379 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,080 You and me weigh about the same. You're just very long. 380 00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:14,280 A stretched out version of the same mass. 381 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,800 Do you think? 382 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,320 Would anyone like another potato pillow? I won't. 383 00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:26,440 I will. They were very nice, you must give me the recipe. 384 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:30,000 Oh, it's very easy. It's just braised in beeswax with 385 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,840 a dollop of sea herb mouli. 386 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:35,160 Yes, I've had them at El Bulli. These are a slightly different... 387 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,440 texture. 388 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:46,720 So he's ignoring the medical advice and going ahead with his bike tour. 389 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,240 Tony, I'm getting worried. 390 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:50,760 Where is he? 391 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,600 And then, after Norway, they're heading down to France. 392 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,480 And that's our third leg. You not heard anything, love? 393 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,080 I've had to give the owners a load of flannel. 394 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,960 And there are 21 switchbacks up the Alpe D'Huez? 395 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,160 Where are they? 396 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:07,000 A mate of mine had a pulmonary embolism at 4,000 meters, so...good luck! 397 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:10,440 All right, love, yeah. As soon as you hear anything, yeah? 398 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,720 OK, bye, Tony, love. 399 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,640 You really going to do that? Yeah. 400 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,640 Won't do your thighs any harm.... 401 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,600 You got any bread with this, love? 402 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:31,360 Tim! Sorry it's all taking so long. 403 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,600 Probably should all be getting our beauty sleep! 404 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,160 Oh, I like to pull an all-nighter before a big race. 405 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,360 I remember. It's probably why you never win. 406 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:44,680 Is that going begging, Mrs Beggs? I'm terribly full. Pass it over. 407 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,400 Oh, God, I've got to get this. It's KL. 408 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,360 That's a reliable lubricant. Kuala Lumpur. 409 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,120 Mmm. Exactly. 410 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:05,680 Got to get this. It's, erm... Oh, it's a client. 411 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:07,040 It's three in the morning! 412 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,240 Tony, yeah? 413 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,880 That can't be... 414 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:16,960 Tony, is there something you're not telling me? 415 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,200 Pudding, everyone? Ummmm... 416 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,040 Charlie? Charlie! 417 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,760 Oh, my God, he's choking to death. Ravi, do something! 418 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,080 What are we supposed to do? 419 00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:29,240 Dave knows the in and up better than anyone else. 420 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:30,680 Oh, was that a wasabi pea? 421 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,000 SHE SCREAMS 422 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,480 Stop screaming, you hysterical woman! 423 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,680 The dogs are stranded in the estuary! Where's Jasmine? 424 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:41,880 And the kids! SHE SCREAMS 425 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,600 They've been there all night. They must be frozen. 426 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,320 I can think of ways in which they could keep warm. 427 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,880 There they are! Nana! Over here! 428 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,040 Jasmine! 429 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,760 I'll try and pull in... Where's Charlie Wilson? 430 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,440 Charlie?! Where's my dog?! 431 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,240 She's over there! She's ran off! 432 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,560 We're so sorry! We couldn't catch her! 433 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,680 The tide's racing. The dog could drown, Dave, 434 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:17,960 unless we can get in quick. 435 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,240 Oh, shut up, V, this is all your fault. 436 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:22,480 Oh, you don't need to tell me that, Dave! 437 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:25,280 It doesn't help that your daughter is as thick as a cocoa room cup. 438 00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:28,040 What? You've put her in grave danger! 439 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,400 We're so sorry! Nana! 440 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,720 I called this wrong. I can't bring her in over the rocks. 441 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,760 Right, Dave, you go and pick up the kids. What? 442 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,280 I'm going to swim in on the tide. 443 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,880 What are you trying to achieve? It's only a bloody dog! 444 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,320 Don't worry, Jasmine, mummy's on her way! 445 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,480 I'm coming, Charlie. I'm coming! 446 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:10,960 Charlie, Charlie! 447 00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:13,760 Come on, girlie. 448 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,360 Come on, Nana's come for you. 449 00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:20,200 Come on, Charlie. Come on, girl. 450 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,040 Aww. 451 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,440 Come on. 452 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,360 Come on, baby. 453 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:28,880 You're terrified. 454 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,800 You been drinking sea water? 455 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,040 Throwing up? Shitting yourself? 456 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:40,640 Come to Nana. Come to Nana. 457 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,800 I could kill you. 458 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,120 Fair play. 459 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:14,480 You love that dog more than you love any of your lady friends. You're right, there. 460 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,880 Well, I know where you're coming from. 461 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:18,880 I grew up in children's' homes, so... 462 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:21,560 Why'd you chuck me? 463 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,760 I wanted to get in there first. 464 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,200 Here's your tea. People, eh? 465 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,000 You can't trust em. 466 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:35,600 I'll drink to that. 467 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,320 And so will Charlie, won't you, girl, eh? 468 00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:40,720 You know what you could do with? 469 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,680 Some of my first aid kits here. And last but not least. 470 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:47,200 Oh, thank you so much. Did you say your name was David? 471 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,200 Just call me Dave. Dave, thank you. 472 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:50,760 HORN BLARES 473 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:53,520 Right, Naomi. 474 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,160 Ready to race? 475 00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:58,720 Come on. 476 00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:14,000 Congratulations to the winners... 477 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,120 The Arrow Park Portnoy-Noars. 478 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,840 And the runners up this year... 479 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:25,200 for the 18th time, Captained by Dave Wilson, 480 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:26,800 the Beacon Beavers. 481 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,000 You did your ancestors proud, well done. 482 00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:34,520 Thank you very much. Very good. 483 00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:37,400 Don't they...? Don't they say my name? 484 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:40,000 David, wasn't it wonderful we hit that north-westerly? 485 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,600 We really had the edge. We did indeed. Very impressive. 486 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:45,080 I didn't know you could teach an old dog new tricks Tim! 487 00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:48,640 I'm not saying, you know, you're an old dog, obviously. 488 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,640 Dead nice dress, Naomi. Oh, thank you. 489 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:53,160 Very brave choice, matches the chairs. 490 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:58,560 Oh, here comes that bloody woman who nearly drowned Jasmine. 491 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,960 Oh, hello, Charlie dog. Ah... 492 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,840 You look like you've recovered. 493 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:09,600 All right, V? Ah, Dave... 494 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,640 Listen, I won't charge you for Charlie's day care yesterday, 495 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,520 obviously, but... 496 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:18,320 could I have the previous £12, please? 497 00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:19,680 You are joking? 498 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:24,440 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, course I am, yeah. 499 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,760 SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY 500 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,400 Got you there. 501 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,760 Oh, just hand it over, Dave. 502 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:36,560 Very sexy, the...oatmeal lingerie. 503 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:37,800 Thanks, Dave. 504 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,760 I must pay you. I love mine. 505 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:44,440 I was showing the Rear Commodore when he came round to mine for a cup of tea. 506 00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:45,560 Thank you. 507 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,720 There you go. 508 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,120 Well worth it. 509 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:56,440 Oh, Mrs Singh. 510 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,040 Got your 32AA here. 511 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,680 Er, no, I think I've had a bit of a rethink, actually, 512 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,880 having seen it on you. It's rather pallid. 513 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,640 Well, can I have Tony's wages then, please? 514 00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,560 Oh, no, you'll need to invoice Future'Z Head Office for those. 515 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,960 Yes. It should be in your account within 90 days. 516 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,520 Charlie! Charlie! 517 00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,720 Ah. You had me worried. 518 00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:01,120 What took you so long? 519 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,400 I went via The Cottage Loaf. Oh... 520 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:07,160 HE LAUGHS And the shops! 521 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:09,920 Oh, you're a wonder. I was wasting away here. 522 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:13,040 Got a meat feast...whole rotisserie chicken, 523 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,680 two bag of cod and big chips. 524 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:17,440 Think I've got a biryani somewhere. 525 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:20,880 Oh, here we go. Something in a black bean sauce. 526 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:25,000 Marvellous. Ah, No Name, would you like a little bit of chicken? 527 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:26,640 There's a good dog. 528 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,440 Wait. 529 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:31,960 Good girl, eat it. 530 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:41,560 Tone, that's the upside of porridge week - you've lost weight. 531 00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:45,520 You'll be out of this van before you can say Gina Lollobrigida. 532 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,360 Hand it over, love, I'll take it into Milton's in the morning. 533 00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:50,520 Well... 534 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:55,320 As we're nearly out the woods...I could keep it on for now. 42130

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