All language subtitles for Letterkenny (2016) - S05E01 - We Dont Fight at Weddings (1080p HULU WEB-DL x265 MONOLITH)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,266 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 2 00:00:13,366 --> 00:00:14,800 (FIRECRACKERS EXPLODING) 3 00:00:24,033 --> 00:00:26,300 Hats off to Tanis, boys. 4 00:00:26,333 --> 00:00:28,200 It's certainly a great day for Thunder Bay. 5 00:00:28,233 --> 00:00:30,366 Yeah, Tanis has outdones herself. 6 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:31,866 She sure did. 7 00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:33,100 Say, where is Tanis? 8 00:00:50,533 --> 00:00:52,933 Well, Tanis the 9 00:00:52,966 --> 00:00:54,133 Tough gal. Homewrecker. 10 00:00:54,166 --> 00:00:55,200 Rocket. Sniper. 11 00:00:55,233 --> 00:00:56,866 Alpha female. Temptress. 12 00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:58,133 A bit rough around the edges. 13 00:00:58,166 --> 00:01:00,066 Tried to lure you in to the barn for a... 14 00:01:00,100 --> 00:01:01,400 Round of the bases. Homewrecking. 15 00:01:01,433 --> 00:01:02,833 Slam. Crush. 16 00:01:02,866 --> 00:01:05,066 Roll in the hay. Lay in the biblical sense. 17 00:01:05,100 --> 00:01:07,866 Toe curl. And the truth is you kinda wanted to... 18 00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:09,400 Pet heavily. Wreck your home? 19 00:01:09,433 --> 00:01:11,100 Rack up a kill. Score a take down. 20 00:01:11,133 --> 00:01:12,366 Have the best sex of your life. 21 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:14,200 Fondle? Become one. 22 00:01:14,233 --> 00:01:16,566 But you didn't. Because that's not what a... 23 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,066 Good 'ol boy. Real man. 24 00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:19,166 Straight shooter. Team player 25 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,033 Seriously? God‐fearing gentleman. 26 00:01:21,066 --> 00:01:23,000 Stand up guy. Does. 27 00:01:23,033 --> 00:01:24,833 On the contrary, a... 28 00:01:24,866 --> 00:01:26,200 Good 'ol boy. Real man. 29 00:01:26,233 --> 00:01:27,300 Straight shooter. Team player. 30 00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:29,166 Pussy. God‐fearing gentleman. 31 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:30,700 Stands‐up guy. Doesn't cheat. 32 00:01:30,733 --> 00:01:34,400 So while you walked towards the barn for what one would assume was a... 33 00:01:34,433 --> 00:01:36,466 Poke. Terrible fucking idea. 34 00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:38,066 Easy kill. Quick mash. 35 00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:39,233 Whatever you are into, baby. 36 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:40,866 Lustful encounter. 37 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,200 A lot of character is undertaken. 38 00:01:42,233 --> 00:01:43,233 You didn't. 39 00:01:43,266 --> 00:01:46,900 You got in the truck, drove over to Rosie's and... 40 00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:49,500 Now, Rosie is a... 41 00:01:49,533 --> 00:01:51,433 Real pretty gal. So fucking cute. 42 00:01:51,466 --> 00:01:52,500 Ten. Damn. 43 00:01:52,533 --> 00:01:54,100 Book reader. Goddess. 44 00:01:54,133 --> 00:01:56,266 Fine woman. You can't be with one woman 45 00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:58,000 and have feelings for another. 46 00:01:58,033 --> 00:02:00,033 You are of the opinion that cheaters are... 47 00:02:00,066 --> 00:02:04,166 In the wrong. Like, 95% in the wrong. 48 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,000 Bad? Or... 49 00:02:06,033 --> 00:02:07,500 Seduced. Fair and square. 50 00:02:07,533 --> 00:02:09,166 Antagonized. 51 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:11,300 Likely a good persons who just mades a mistake. 52 00:02:11,333 --> 00:02:13,433 And you shouldn't very well go down that road. 53 00:02:13,933 --> 00:02:14,966 So... 54 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,233 BOTH: Here's the thing... 55 00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:17,366 BOTH: Okay, you go. 56 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,033 BOTH: No, you go. Okay, I'll go. 57 00:02:20,066 --> 00:02:21,433 I'm gonna move to the city. 58 00:02:21,466 --> 00:02:23,000 You are gonna move to the city? 59 00:02:23,033 --> 00:02:24,166 I'm gonna move to the city. 60 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:25,766 What city? Vancouver. 61 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:29,233 Well, you won't get many random snowy summer nights like this in Vancouver. 62 00:02:29,266 --> 00:02:31,500 Nope. So what's in Vancouver? 63 00:02:31,533 --> 00:02:32,633 Pit bull rescue. 64 00:02:32,666 --> 00:02:36,066 I'm tired of reading about it every day. I wanna help. 65 00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:38,333 You're a great fucking gal, Rosie. 66 00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:40,166 You're a great fucking dude, Wayne. 67 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,233 When will I see you? 68 00:02:41,266 --> 00:02:43,133 When you see me. Good enough. 69 00:02:43,166 --> 00:02:46,133 And that's what a get out of jail free card looks like. 70 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,133 Boy, howdy. Well, I should say. 71 00:02:48,166 --> 00:02:49,433 Sick buddy. Sick, bro. 72 00:02:49,466 --> 00:02:51,033 Can we bang now? Wondrous! 73 00:02:51,066 --> 00:02:52,133 I likes Monopoly. 74 00:02:52,166 --> 00:02:54,033 So, as for Tanis... 75 00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:55,466 Get after it. Sure. 76 00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:56,900 Killzone? Poundtown? 77 00:02:56,933 --> 00:02:58,500 We should be banging right now. Tanis. 78 00:02:58,533 --> 00:03:00,300 You could do much worse, good buddy. 79 00:03:00,333 --> 00:03:03,100 You and Tanis are gonna give her the old college try. 80 00:03:03,133 --> 00:03:04,200 Good enough. Good enough. 81 00:03:04,233 --> 00:03:05,500 BOTH: Good enough. Good enough. 82 00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:06,966 Good enough. Good enough. 83 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,366 Good stuff. 84 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,400 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 85 00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,500 DAN: Finally, a non‐summer weddings. 86 00:03:21,533 --> 00:03:22,966 I'm smilings. 87 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,433 Well, it seems a little bit unfair 88 00:03:24,466 --> 00:03:27,233 that at summer weddings gals get to wear a nice, breezy summer dress 89 00:03:27,266 --> 00:03:28,600 and then we're stuck being sweaty 90 00:03:28,633 --> 00:03:30,433 and sticky in some three‐piece wool suit. 91 00:03:30,466 --> 00:03:32,400 I guess it can gets quites pongies down there. 92 00:03:32,433 --> 00:03:34,233 Yeah, it can get a bit moist. No. 93 00:03:34,266 --> 00:03:36,333 Who do you think is gonna moist the Stanley Cup, this year, Katy? 94 00:03:36,366 --> 00:03:38,500 I'm thinking Calgary. I swear to fucking Christ 95 00:03:38,533 --> 00:03:39,733 Oh, did you never see Moist Story? 96 00:03:39,766 --> 00:03:42,200 Or Moist Story 2, starring Tim Allen and Tom Hanks? 97 00:03:42,233 --> 00:03:44,266 Are you out of your fucking mind? I will fight you. 98 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,966 We don't fight at weddings. 99 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,000 So, Dary, are you gonna be wearing your dad's suit? 100 00:03:49,033 --> 00:03:50,500 Do falling timbers make tambers? 101 00:03:50,533 --> 00:03:52,400 Who the fuck are you? Yes, Katy. 102 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:55,200 I got it for a grade 13 semi‐formal from the Letterkenny Op shop. 103 00:03:55,233 --> 00:03:57,466 Loves the Op shops. I'll take the Sally Ann. 104 00:03:57,500 --> 00:04:00,933 You know what? That suit is so dad the last time you wore it, 105 00:04:00,966 --> 00:04:04,100 it told me the Dire Straits were the greatest band of all time. 106 00:04:04,133 --> 00:04:05,433 That suit is so dad 107 00:04:05,466 --> 00:04:07,866 it ate all the lunch meat on the way home from the grocery store. 108 00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:10,966 The suit is so dad it owns a VHS copy of The Hunt for Red October. 109 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,466 So, Dan, are you gonna cold rock a kilt? 110 00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:15,133 Like my Grandpas and his grandpas before him. 111 00:04:15,166 --> 00:04:16,433 A little class, a little sass 112 00:04:16,466 --> 00:04:18,600 and a lot of ass all in one tartans garments. 113 00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:21,600 Wayne, I assume you'll be wearing one of only two suits that you own. 114 00:04:21,633 --> 00:04:24,333 Two will do you. One for weddings and one for funerals. 115 00:04:24,366 --> 00:04:27,533 A good suit lasts you the rest of your life if you take care of it. 116 00:04:27,566 --> 00:04:29,966 What would you wear for a court appearance? I've never been arrested. 117 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,233 What would you wear to a job interviews? I've only ever had one job. 118 00:04:32,266 --> 00:04:34,233 KATY: What would you wear to a bar mitzvah? Not Jewish. 119 00:04:34,266 --> 00:04:36,200 Bat mitzvahs? Still not Jewish. 120 00:04:36,233 --> 00:04:37,366 Graham's from the city. 121 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,566 So there's gonna be a lot of citiots at this thing. 122 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,100 (GROANS) 123 00:04:41,133 --> 00:04:42,433 I fucking hate citiots. 124 00:04:42,466 --> 00:04:44,533 They're always going on about how we're saying, 125 00:04:44,566 --> 00:04:48,066 "fucking mud in our fucking hammies". 126 00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:51,866 Fucking riding our sleds down to a fucking pit party, bud. 127 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,366 Giving her tits. 128 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:57,433 I was climbing the ladder up the hay mound behind your brother and ew! 129 00:04:57,466 --> 00:04:59,833 Ripped a fart that sounded like a creaky door opening 130 00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,500 inside a hot air balloon, but... 131 00:05:02,433 --> 00:05:05,400 We do not fight at weddings. 132 00:05:05,433 --> 00:05:09,000 No, but we can get laid if we're keen to. 133 00:05:09,033 --> 00:05:11,300 Sexy just wafts around at weddings. 134 00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:13,966 Plenty of opportunities for people looking to do some yessing. 135 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,933 A little bit of wedding spreading. 136 00:05:15,966 --> 00:05:18,200 A little bit of matrimonies and hide the balonies. 137 00:05:18,233 --> 00:05:21,233 Oh, sure, maybe some exchanging of rings and rubbing of things. 138 00:05:21,266 --> 00:05:22,500 KATY: Clear eyes. 139 00:05:22,533 --> 00:05:23,800 Full Windsors. 140 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:25,533 ALL: Can't lose. 141 00:06:41,466 --> 00:06:43,000 Clean up well, Cowboy. 142 00:06:43,033 --> 00:06:45,033 Well, a good suit will last the rest of your life if you take care of it. 143 00:06:45,066 --> 00:06:46,466 And me? 144 00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:48,533 Well, I wouldn't kick you out of bed for eating fucking crackers, Tanis. 145 00:06:48,566 --> 00:06:50,233 Top shelf ceremony, boys. 146 00:06:50,266 --> 00:06:52,133 Short, sweet and not too much God. 147 00:06:52,166 --> 00:06:54,866 I'm told God doesn't have much time for gays these days, so... 148 00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:56,100 Par for the course, I guess. 149 00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:58,966 Real prouds of Dax and Ronsford jumps in the brooms like that. 150 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,166 Good guys. Good grooms. 151 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,033 I wonder what that must be like. 152 00:07:03,066 --> 00:07:04,133 What? Getting hitched? 153 00:07:04,166 --> 00:07:07,400 No, being into dudes. I've got so many questions. 154 00:07:07,433 --> 00:07:09,266 Yeah, and I wanna hear exactly zero of them. 155 00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:11,133 It's like, what if you are attracted 156 00:07:11,166 --> 00:07:13,033 to somebody with the same name as you? 157 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:15,400 Is it like, "How fun"? 158 00:07:15,433 --> 00:07:17,600 Or is it fucking weird? It'd be fucking weird. 159 00:07:17,633 --> 00:07:20,000 Quite likely. That's never happened to me. 160 00:07:20,033 --> 00:07:23,833 Guess the closest I ever came to it was almost doing it with a gal named Sheryl. 161 00:07:23,866 --> 00:07:25,266 Yeah, I suppose it'd kindsa be like the time 162 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:28,366 I almost hooked up with a gal who had the same names as my Grandmas. 163 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:29,566 That would be fucking off‐putting. 164 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:33,566 It was. It was distracting at inappropriate times... 165 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,033 With... 166 00:07:35,066 --> 00:07:36,300 Ruth. 167 00:07:36,333 --> 00:07:38,166 I wish there was a goddamn way I could do it with a Katy. 168 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,933 Ew! Or a Kate or a Caitlin. 169 00:07:40,966 --> 00:07:42,966 I guess Katherine would even be walking the line. 170 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,400 There's no way I could do it with a Wayne. 171 00:07:44,433 --> 00:07:47,500 Ew! Unless it was Gretzky or Rostad. 172 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,366 Or Newton. 173 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,133 (CHEERING) 174 00:07:52,166 --> 00:07:54,166 I'd bow to the great ones. I'd bend right over. 175 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,066 I'd like Gretzky in my office behind the net. 176 00:07:57,100 --> 00:08:00,066 I'd be a jar of curry in a fucking hurry just feeding him all night long. 177 00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:01,400 I promised Mess I wouldn't do this. 178 00:08:01,433 --> 00:08:02,466 I just promised to mess. 179 00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:05,233 I'd let Gretzk leave my ass seriously McSorely 180 00:08:05,266 --> 00:08:07,066 I'd let that lady Bing lady bang me. 181 00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:09,133 That's 69 with 99 into overtime. 182 00:08:09,166 --> 00:08:11,000 I'd just straight up let him 99 me. 183 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,833 Howdy who. Ah, what's a 99? 184 00:08:13,866 --> 00:08:16,033 It's just fucking while spooning. 185 00:08:16,066 --> 00:08:17,233 (CHUCKLES) 186 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,033 All right, boys. 187 00:08:21,066 --> 00:08:22,400 Show me what you can do with a cock. 188 00:08:22,433 --> 00:08:23,833 (ALL GASP) 189 00:08:23,866 --> 00:08:25,000 Hail! 190 00:08:25,033 --> 00:08:26,200 ALL: Hey‐ho. 191 00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:31,866 Oh, good day, lads. 192 00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:33,366 Did you ride your fucking sleds here? 193 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,066 Oh, are you fucking matting her? 194 00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:36,966 Is she a charity ride, like, "Holy Fuck"? 195 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,000 Just about clear putting it in the fucking rhubarb. 196 00:08:39,033 --> 00:08:41,300 Yous just gonna stand there rubbing your peckers or what? 197 00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:43,100 Oh, she's fucking tits, eh? 198 00:08:43,133 --> 00:08:45,433 D'you give her beans, bud? D'you give her boots, bud? 199 00:08:45,466 --> 00:08:46,600 Do you give her fucking torque? 200 00:08:46,633 --> 00:08:48,100 MAN: Do you wanna get fucking smoke? 201 00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:49,300 Or are you taking her easy? 202 00:08:49,333 --> 00:08:51,266 If she's easy, take her twice, bud. 203 00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:53,266 We'll call you toonie two times. 204 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,366 Let's do her manure. 205 00:09:01,033 --> 00:09:03,533 Isn't this the part where you... We don't fight at weddings. 206 00:09:03,566 --> 00:09:06,833 Those citiots can fucking tie their dicks in a knot. 207 00:09:06,866 --> 00:09:08,100 They can go piss up a rope. 208 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,933 Gretzky, Rostad and Newton for Katy, eh? 209 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:15,833 I'm surprised Lil Wayne didn't make the cut. 210 00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:20,166 What? 211 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:22,033 Great dress, Bonnie. Thanks. 212 00:09:22,066 --> 00:09:23,133 Op Shop. 213 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:28,000 You look like the girl who punched my V ticket. 214 00:09:28,033 --> 00:09:29,333 What's your nationality? 215 00:09:29,366 --> 00:09:32,966 You ever seen the back seat of a BMW X3? 216 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,433 You should be honored. My buddy here only fucks tens. 217 00:09:35,466 --> 00:09:37,000 Only tens. Right in the X. 218 00:09:37,033 --> 00:09:40,033 Seriously, come outside. I'll show you the 3. 219 00:09:40,066 --> 00:09:41,933 It's actually the exact same as the 5. 220 00:09:41,966 --> 00:09:43,000 (WHISPERS) X5. 221 00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:44,166 (WHISPERS) BMW. 222 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,833 Just way better on gas. 223 00:09:45,866 --> 00:09:48,266 Living the Beem. 224 00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:50,300 (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) 225 00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:53,933 Stewart, I know you are the world's foremost fire selector, 226 00:09:53,966 --> 00:09:56,933 but this is a wedding and I promised the grooms we'd play songs like 227 00:09:56,966 --> 00:09:59,466 Brown Eyed Girl and Shout and Lean on Me, 228 00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:02,166 Ain't No Mountain High Enough and Mambo No. 5 229 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,300 Yous guys got the Chicken Dance ready to play yet? 230 00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:05,733 I fucking love that song, I'll tell you. 231 00:10:05,766 --> 00:10:08,366 I put it on in the barn for the cluckers when them pecker‐faced bastards 232 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,166 ain't dropping eggs, I just love it. 233 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,800 Are you being facetious? Huh? 234 00:10:11,833 --> 00:10:15,366 Can your vestigial minds even comprehend the derogatory nature of your requests? 235 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:16,666 Or maybe you could compromise? 236 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,566 Do something cool like beat juggle the Chicken Dance? 237 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:19,966 Here, take... 238 00:10:22,133 --> 00:10:23,333 Enough! 239 00:10:23,366 --> 00:10:25,500 Deejaying is an art form. 240 00:10:25,533 --> 00:10:29,500 A medium in which the most prolific audio auteurs of our time can speak through. 241 00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:31,600 A deep connection of the soul of yourself 242 00:10:31,633 --> 00:10:33,433 and the gyrating asses of the great unwashed 243 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:37,300 who eagerly thirst for your deafening compositions. 244 00:10:37,333 --> 00:10:40,166 I like gyrating asses but I'm pretty sure it ain't art there, bud. 245 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,333 Yeah, wouldn't you have to have written the songs yourself for it to be art? 246 00:10:42,366 --> 00:10:44,033 I'm sorry, composed? 247 00:10:44,066 --> 00:10:45,600 I think the word is produced. 248 00:10:45,633 --> 00:10:49,233 Right, or at least didn't download off the Internet so you could profit off them. 249 00:10:49,266 --> 00:10:51,833 Yeah, you are more like an art dealer than an artiste. 250 00:10:51,866 --> 00:10:53,900 Or like an art gallery curator. 251 00:10:53,933 --> 00:10:55,300 Selling stolen paintings. 252 00:10:55,333 --> 00:10:57,000 That you printed off the Internet. 253 00:10:57,033 --> 00:10:58,466 (BOTH LAUGHING) 254 00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:00,933 Whoa! 255 00:11:00,966 --> 00:11:02,000 If you do not fall back, 256 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,100 and fasten that lip. 257 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,266 Your other, thinner lip. 258 00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:13,900 I'll turn this elegant, soigne ceremony of the coming together of two bonded souls 259 00:11:13,933 --> 00:11:16,066 into a straight up blood rain. 260 00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:18,000 Hey! Over here. 261 00:11:19,166 --> 00:11:20,833 Chicken Dance. 262 00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:22,466 Get it? 263 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:27,833 (MUTTERING) 264 00:11:29,433 --> 00:11:30,933 Just wanna go (CLUCKING) 265 00:11:33,633 --> 00:11:35,566 Good game you fucking beauties. 266 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:37,233 Way to tape your sticks together, boys. 267 00:11:37,266 --> 00:11:39,000 You two make a hot pairing. 268 00:11:39,033 --> 00:11:41,366 Five minute major and a lifetime misconduct for butt ending. 269 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,833 You boys enjoying yourselves? 270 00:11:42,866 --> 00:11:44,266 Acting single. Seeing double. 271 00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:45,500 Drinking triples. 272 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,333 Daxy, I gotta say, 273 00:11:50,366 --> 00:11:52,933 solid work on the big city slam prospects. 274 00:11:52,966 --> 00:11:55,166 Solid big city slam scouting, Daxy. 275 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,066 Boys, a little, uh, players only here. 276 00:11:58,100 --> 00:11:59,433 You are not pulling tonight. 277 00:11:59,466 --> 00:12:00,500 BOTH: Yes, we are. 278 00:12:00,533 --> 00:12:01,733 These are modern city gals. 279 00:12:01,766 --> 00:12:03,966 None of them have any interest in hockey player types. 280 00:12:05,533 --> 00:12:08,166 Boys, big muscles haven't been popular with the ladies since Jersey Shore. 281 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:11,966 The only way to get any attention from a cosmopolitan, college gal type 282 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,100 is to get in touch with your inner twink. 283 00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:15,866 You need to be less power forward 284 00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:17,366 and more power bottom. 285 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,500 We'll get our wedding stylist to help them out. 286 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,266 So we need to... 287 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,133 Spruce up our look? 288 00:12:25,166 --> 00:12:26,266 No. 289 00:12:27,433 --> 00:12:31,066 You gotta bruce up your look. 290 00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:34,366 So Professor Tricia says that Letterkenny has developed into quite the homosexual scene 291 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:37,600 and we can rightly expects a Pride parades next springs. 292 00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:39,933 Never been to a Pride parade. What's it like? 293 00:12:39,966 --> 00:12:41,233 It's like a Santa Claus parade. 294 00:12:41,266 --> 00:12:43,966 Except instead of handing out candy, they hand out condoms. 295 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,566 I should probably start thinking about a name right now. 296 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:47,600 Great Day for gay. A Hard Gay's Night. 297 00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:49,566 Eyes Pride Shut. Pride Green Tomatoes. 298 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,866 Pride of Chucky. Independence Gay. 299 00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:53,433 Ferris Bueller Gets Off. 300 00:12:53,466 --> 00:12:55,133 Star Wars Rogue One. 301 00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:57,933 The Princess Pride. Pride of Frankenstein. 302 00:12:57,966 --> 00:12:59,900 Pride and Go Seeks. Carlito's Gay. 303 00:12:59,933 --> 00:13:02,033 Night of the Giving Head. Lay Anything. 304 00:13:02,066 --> 00:13:03,233 Final Mantasy. 305 00:13:03,266 --> 00:13:04,433 Third Cock from the Sun. 306 00:13:04,466 --> 00:13:06,266 How fella Got His Groove Pack. 307 00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:08,233 The Gay the Earth Stood Still. 308 00:13:08,266 --> 00:13:09,433 Eat, Gay, Love. 309 00:13:09,466 --> 00:13:10,466 Dr. Strangelove 310 00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,866 or how I learned to stop wearing, "Love the Bum". 311 00:13:13,566 --> 00:13:14,966 Bonnie and Pride. 312 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,366 ALL: Oh, Bonnie McMurray. 313 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:18,966 You boys tried the catering yet? 314 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,566 I am chomping at the bit to get one of those cupcakes. 315 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,066 Nots to be impolite, Dary 316 00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:26,000 but it's actually champing at the bits. 317 00:13:26,033 --> 00:13:28,366 Oh, you got those pits ready for your fucking ponies? 318 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,166 How many ponies you got under your hood? You got a frigging hemmy under there? 319 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,900 How many CCs is your sled? 320 00:13:32,933 --> 00:13:35,033 Do you fucking pin her when you get pickled there, bud? 321 00:13:35,066 --> 00:13:37,100 Oh, I really fucking gave it to her last night. 322 00:13:37,133 --> 00:13:38,833 Working hard or hardly working? 323 00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:46,366 What happened to the part where... We don't fight at weddings. 324 00:13:48,133 --> 00:13:49,600 I gotta piss. KATY: I'll come with you. 325 00:13:49,633 --> 00:13:51,900 BONNIE: Yeah, same. Okay, let's go. (CLEARS THROAT) 326 00:13:55,633 --> 00:13:57,566 My cock he lives now. (CHUCKLES) Redux. 327 00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:08,366 What's up, ladies? 328 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,566 What is your nationality? 329 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:10,933 Grow up around here? 330 00:14:10,966 --> 00:14:12,166 Have any tattoos? 331 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,066 I got a Celtic symbol on my calf. 332 00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:16,066 I got a Nike swoosh right above my heart. 333 00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:17,866 I got you a drink. I swear it's not a roofie. 334 00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:21,300 Yes, it is. Of course, it is. 335 00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:22,966 Hey, that's a real nice dress. 336 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,600 Look a lot nicer on my hotel room floor. 337 00:14:24,633 --> 00:14:26,833 You ever seen the front seat of a Honda del Sol? 338 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,200 I'll have a roll in your hay any day. 339 00:14:29,233 --> 00:14:31,100 We don't fight at weddings. 340 00:14:31,133 --> 00:14:33,333 I got a Harman Kardon system in the 3. 341 00:14:33,366 --> 00:14:36,466 X3. BM motherfucking W, baby. 342 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,200 It's actually way better than Bose. 343 00:14:49,933 --> 00:14:51,333 Dickskin? Dickens. 344 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,866 Fellas, a list of my requests. 345 00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:57,933 To be played back two, back two, three, four, well I have five songs... 346 00:14:58,300 --> 00:15:00,066 No requests. 347 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,066 How dare thou come into my private roost 348 00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:07,000 of penetrating beats with an audacious act of social and musical treason. 349 00:15:07,033 --> 00:15:09,200 Every single one of these is a Brooks and Dunn song. 350 00:15:09,233 --> 00:15:10,866 Starting with the Boot Scootin' Boogie. 351 00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:12,333 I didn't realize they had other songs. 352 00:15:12,366 --> 00:15:13,966 Of all the boogies, the Boot Scootin' is the last one I would 353 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,300 and will ever torture myself or others with. 354 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,500 I'll give you a Boot Scootin'. 355 00:15:17,533 --> 00:15:20,033 What about Blame It on the Boogie by the Jackson 5? 356 00:15:20,066 --> 00:15:21,566 Boogie, Oogie, Oogie, A taste of honey. 357 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,466 Boot Scootin'. Boogie Wonderland, by Earth Wind & Fire 358 00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:24,766 Elton John's Street Boogie. 359 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,166 This wedding needs a boogie and it's gonna be Boot Scootin'. 360 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,400 Born to Boogie, T Rex? 361 00:15:28,433 --> 00:15:29,966 Boogie Woogie Wu, Insane Clown Posse. 362 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,366 Zip Gun Boogie, T Rex again. 363 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,866 Take the damn boogie and make it a Boot Scootin'. 364 00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:35,566 I'm Your Boogie Man, KC and the Sunshine band. 365 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,500 I'm Your Boogieman, White Zombie. 366 00:15:37,533 --> 00:15:40,100 I hoped it wouldn't come to blows over a boogie. 367 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,900 But I'll damn well go to blows. 368 00:15:43,933 --> 00:15:45,433 For the Boot Scootin' Boogie. 369 00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,200 Not happening, Dickskin. Dickens! 370 00:15:54,266 --> 00:15:55,966 I got it. I got it. 371 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,333 I got the Chicken Dance. 372 00:15:57,366 --> 00:15:59,133 Went home and got it out of the cassette player in the tractor. 373 00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:01,466 You play it now or later. Either way, you'll play it. 374 00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:02,866 Or you'll die. 375 00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:11,133 What's with the super sad glassware, boys? 376 00:16:11,166 --> 00:16:13,033 What's with your hair? 377 00:16:13,066 --> 00:16:15,033 Oh, just got some big city prospects. 378 00:16:15,066 --> 00:16:17,300 Don't wanna risk putting a big goose egg up on the board. 379 00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:20,033 Don't wanna fan on a yonny cage, buddy. 380 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,033 So, we bruced up our looks. 381 00:16:22,066 --> 00:16:23,966 What does that mean? 382 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,533 Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it, yeah. 383 00:16:25,566 --> 00:16:27,133 How's that going for ya? 384 00:16:27,166 --> 00:16:28,966 Uh, good. We got bites. 385 00:16:29,533 --> 00:16:31,033 Yeah. 386 00:16:31,066 --> 00:16:32,900 Well, we got like, a... A bite. 387 00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:34,966 They were 50 though. 388 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,433 I took down an older lady once. It was kinda fun. 389 00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:41,366 Kinda weird. Why? 390 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,866 Well, after she made a pizza. 391 00:16:43,900 --> 00:16:45,400 Sick, buddy. She ordered a pizza. 392 00:16:45,433 --> 00:16:47,200 No, made a pizza. 393 00:16:47,233 --> 00:16:49,166 From scratch, buddy. 394 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,466 I had to sit and talk 395 00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:53,900 while she made a pizza. 396 00:16:53,933 --> 00:16:55,233 You two look like dandies. 397 00:16:55,266 --> 00:16:56,266 You look like pansies. 398 00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:57,966 You know, the landscape might be changing 399 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,800 but manly men never go out of style. 400 00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:02,833 Hello, ladies. 401 00:17:08,866 --> 00:17:11,066 Yeuch, I can't drink this shit anymore. 402 00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:13,266 What am I a ballerina trying to get skinny? 403 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,533 I'm gonna get some rye, babe. 404 00:17:14,566 --> 00:17:15,800 Cheers. 405 00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:22,533 Katy got hit on by a top hat guy. 406 00:17:22,566 --> 00:17:25,333 A top hat. A guy in a top hat. 407 00:17:25,366 --> 00:17:28,333 I'd rather take down a city than a guy in a top hat. 408 00:17:28,366 --> 00:17:29,366 Oh, I don't know, Ms. Katys. 409 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,233 Some men looks quite statelys in a top hat. 410 00:17:32,266 --> 00:17:33,933 Scrooge McDuck comes to mind. 411 00:17:33,966 --> 00:17:35,433 Mr. Peanut. Slash. 412 00:17:35,466 --> 00:17:37,233 The guy from T Rex. Abe Lincoln. 413 00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:40,000 Uncle Pennybags from Monopoly. Willy Wonka's. 414 00:17:40,033 --> 00:17:42,566 The Cat in the Hat. Guy from T Rex again. 415 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,533 Oh, hey there, buds. 416 00:17:44,566 --> 00:17:46,866 Is she a manual? Or are you driving a bitch stick? 417 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,566 You like bud lite? You like butt holes around here. 418 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,366 Oh, did you get your pecker stuck in a bottle of brew? 419 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,533 Where's your sweety bud? 420 00:17:53,566 --> 00:17:55,833 Did she leave you to your John and your John Deere? 421 00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,533 Where's your John queer, bud? 422 00:18:04,366 --> 00:18:06,400 I was brought up on Looney Tunes and only dancing when nobody's around. 423 00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:08,166 Learned the heck out of it that way, Dan. 424 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,333 I am fucking irritated. 425 00:18:09,366 --> 00:18:10,966 We don't fight at weddings. 426 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,000 Right. 427 00:18:12,866 --> 00:18:15,433 We don't fight at weddings. 428 00:18:16,633 --> 00:18:18,400 Ten four? Over and out. 429 00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,866 Hello, ladies. Ladies. 430 00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:25,033 Can we interest you in a shot of sourpuss? 431 00:18:25,066 --> 00:18:27,300 Perhaps a half glass of white zinfandel? 432 00:18:27,333 --> 00:18:29,500 Have you looked at any interesting furniture lately? 433 00:18:29,533 --> 00:18:32,066 I admire his eye for interior design. 434 00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:33,200 What are you two going on about? 435 00:18:33,233 --> 00:18:34,566 You are really missing the mark. 436 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,200 You know, metrosexuality went out of style 437 00:18:37,233 --> 00:18:39,066 with the Von Dutch and Chingy. 438 00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:41,966 We are into men. Classic men, athletic types. 439 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,166 You don't look like you can fix my car. 440 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:46,133 You don't look like you can fix a sliding screen door. 441 00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,400 What? Wha... What? 442 00:18:47,433 --> 00:18:50,233 We're ... We're hockey players. 443 00:18:50,266 --> 00:18:52,266 We're the snipe, celly boys. 444 00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:53,966 Dirty fucking dangles boys. 445 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,366 What are you guys going on about now? 446 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,966 Now you are just being posers. It's pretty pathetic. 447 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,466 Even if you are hockey players, we are not puck bunnies. 448 00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:02,333 Or lacrosse‐titutes. 449 00:19:05,266 --> 00:19:07,433 I don't even drink... I drink beer. (GROANS) 450 00:19:11,166 --> 00:19:13,466 (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) 451 00:19:25,266 --> 00:19:27,466 Where are you guys staying tonight? 452 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,233 There's only motel in this shit hole, so that one. 453 00:19:30,266 --> 00:19:32,866 I've never ridden in a BMW X3 before. 454 00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:36,433 What about a BMW X3 with a luxury leather package? 455 00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:38,466 She just said she'd never ridden in one, idiot. 456 00:19:39,733 --> 00:19:41,166 Take me home. 457 00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:45,366 Ladies and gentlemen. 458 00:19:46,633 --> 00:19:48,100 The song for the first dance... 459 00:19:48,666 --> 00:19:49,666 Chosen by... 460 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,566 The grooms. 461 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:54,833 (GUESTS APPLAUDING) 462 00:19:56,666 --> 00:19:58,500 I can't wait to take sauce from you 463 00:19:58,533 --> 00:20:00,300 and slot from now until the horn blows 464 00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,233 at the end of quadruple overtime. 465 00:20:02,266 --> 00:20:04,133 Playoff rules, nice. 466 00:20:04,166 --> 00:20:05,500 There was always an open bet. 467 00:20:05,533 --> 00:20:07,166 I'll take the tender tonight. 468 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,733 A six man, you know what I am talking about. 469 00:20:08,766 --> 00:20:10,533 As long as you can bury. Oh, we will find a hole. 470 00:20:10,566 --> 00:20:12,333 You can't slip one past me. Let's steer this back. 471 00:20:13,766 --> 00:20:15,500 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 472 00:20:41,933 --> 00:20:43,433 ♪ Sucking on my titties 473 00:20:43,466 --> 00:20:44,633 ♪ Like you wanted me 474 00:20:44,666 --> 00:20:46,533 ♪ Calling me all the time Like Blondie 475 00:20:46,566 --> 00:20:48,233 ♪ Check out my chrissy behind 476 00:20:48,266 --> 00:20:49,866 ♪ It's fine all of the time 477 00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:51,833 ♪ Like sex on the beaches 478 00:20:51,866 --> 00:20:54,666 ♪ What else is in the teaches Of peaches? 479 00:20:54,700 --> 00:20:56,466 ♪ Huh? What? 480 00:21:03,766 --> 00:21:06,466 ♪ Sucking on my titties Like you wanted me 481 00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:08,433 ♪ Calling me All the time like Blondie 482 00:21:08,466 --> 00:21:10,300 ♪ Check out my chrissy behind 483 00:21:10,333 --> 00:21:12,300 ♪ It's fine all of the time 484 00:21:12,333 --> 00:21:14,800 ♪ What else is in the teaches of peaches? 485 00:21:14,833 --> 00:21:16,600 ♪ Like sex on the beaches 486 00:21:16,633 --> 00:21:18,466 ♪ Huh? What? 487 00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:20,766 ♪ Huh, right 488 00:21:22,166 --> 00:21:23,700 ♪ What? 489 00:21:25,733 --> 00:21:28,233 ♪ Huh? What? 490 00:21:29,466 --> 00:21:30,833 ♪ Right 491 00:21:47,633 --> 00:21:49,500 ♪ Fuck the pain away 492 00:21:49,533 --> 00:21:51,200 ♪ Fuck the pain away 493 00:21:51,233 --> 00:21:52,800 ♪ Fuck the pain away 494 00:21:52,833 --> 00:21:54,800 ♪ Fuck the pain away 495 00:21:54,833 --> 00:21:56,666 ♪ Fuck the pain away 496 00:21:56,700 --> 00:21:58,533 ♪ Fuck the pain away 497 00:21:58,566 --> 00:22:00,333 ♪ Fuck the pain away 498 00:22:00,366 --> 00:22:02,200 ♪ Fuck the pain away 499 00:22:02,233 --> 00:22:03,900 ♪ Fuck the pain away 500 00:22:03,933 --> 00:22:05,733 ♪ Fuck the pain away 501 00:22:05,766 --> 00:22:07,433 ♪ Fuck the pain away 502 00:22:07,466 --> 00:22:09,466 ♪ Fuck the pain away 503 00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:11,333 ♪ Fuck the pain away 504 00:22:11,366 --> 00:22:13,300 ♪ Fuck the pain away 505 00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:14,866 ♪ Fuck the pain away 506 00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:16,533 ♪ Fuck the pain away 507 00:22:20,433 --> 00:22:22,133 ♪ Huh? What? 508 00:22:22,166 --> 00:22:23,466 ♪ Right 509 00:22:27,666 --> 00:22:29,433 ♪ Huh? What? 510 00:22:29,466 --> 00:22:30,733 ♪ Right 511 00:22:34,933 --> 00:22:37,533 ♪ What else in the teaches of peaches? 512 00:22:37,566 --> 00:22:39,300 ♪ Like sex on the beaches 513 00:22:39,333 --> 00:22:40,366 ♪ What? 514 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:41,666 ♪ Right 515 00:22:45,900 --> 00:22:48,800 ♪ SIS, IUD 516 00:22:49,633 --> 00:22:51,266 ♪ Stay in school 517 00:22:51,300 --> 00:22:53,400 ♪ 'Cause it's the best 518 00:22:53,433 --> 00:22:56,133 ♪ IUD, SIS 519 00:22:56,733 --> 00:22:58,400 ♪ Stay in school 520 00:22:58,433 --> 00:22:59,833 ♪ 'Cause it's the best 521 00:23:00,533 --> 00:23:03,866 ♪ IUD, SIS 522 00:23:03,900 --> 00:23:05,766 ♪ Stay in school 523 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,800 ♪ 'Cause it's the best 524 00:23:07,833 --> 00:23:11,400 ♪ IUD, SIS 525 00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:13,200 ♪ Stay in school 526 00:23:13,233 --> 00:23:14,800 ♪ 'Cause it's the best 527 00:23:14,833 --> 00:23:17,733 ♪ Sucking on my titties Like you wanted me 528 00:23:17,766 --> 00:23:19,533 ♪ Calling me All the time like Blondie 529 00:23:19,566 --> 00:23:22,266 ♪ Check out my chrissy behind 530 00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:24,233 Yous looking for trouble? Yous looking for trouble? 531 00:23:24,266 --> 00:23:25,833 Yous looking for trouble? So what if we are? 532 00:23:25,866 --> 00:23:27,500 We don't fight at weddings. 533 00:23:27,533 --> 00:23:28,800 Wouldn't dream of it, bud. 534 00:23:29,633 --> 00:23:31,500 ♪ Fuck the pain away 535 00:23:31,533 --> 00:23:33,333 ♪ Fuck the pain away 536 00:23:33,366 --> 00:23:34,866 ♪ Fuck the pain away 537 00:23:34,900 --> 00:23:37,133 ♪ Fuck the pain away 538 00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:38,766 ♪ Fuck the pain away 539 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,633 ♪ Fuck the pain away 540 00:23:40,666 --> 00:23:42,466 ♪ Fuck the pain away 541 00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:44,433 ♪ Fuck the pain away 542 00:23:44,466 --> 00:23:46,166 ♪ Fuck the pain away 543 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:47,766 ♪ Fuck the pain away 544 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,666 ♪ Fuck the pain away 545 00:23:49,700 --> 00:23:51,533 ♪ Fuck the pain away 546 00:23:51,566 --> 00:23:53,300 ♪ Fuck the pain away 547 00:23:53,333 --> 00:23:55,266 ♪ Fuck the pain away 548 00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:56,866 ♪ Fuck the pain away 549 00:23:56,900 --> 00:23:58,666 ♪ Fuck the pain away 550 00:24:02,533 --> 00:24:04,300 ♪ Huh? What? 551 00:24:04,333 --> 00:24:05,800 ♪ Right. Uhh 552 00:24:09,766 --> 00:24:11,466 ♪ Huh? What? 553 00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:12,866 ♪ Right. Uhh 554 00:24:17,233 --> 00:24:19,633 ♪ What else is in the teaches of peaches? 555 00:24:19,666 --> 00:24:21,466 ♪ Like sex on the beaches 556 00:24:21,500 --> 00:24:23,266 ♪ What? Right. Uhh 557 00:24:28,166 --> 00:24:29,800 ♪ Fuck the pain away 558 00:24:29,833 --> 00:24:31,533 ♪ Fuck the pain away 559 00:24:31,566 --> 00:24:33,300 ♪ Fuck the pain away 560 00:24:33,333 --> 00:24:34,566 ♪ Fuck the pain away 561 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:36,866 ♪ Fuck the pain away 562 00:24:36,900 --> 00:24:38,333 ♪ Fuck the pain away ♪ 41597

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