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1
00:00:10,866 --> 00:00:12,166
You're packing up
for a fishin' trip
2
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:13,933
with your pals the other day.
3
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:17,500
I loves fishin' in Kwee‐bec.
4
00:00:17,533 --> 00:00:19,300
Who doesn't love fishing
in Kay‐bec?
5
00:00:19,333 --> 00:00:20,966
Great fishin' in Kyu‐bec.
6
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,166
‐I fucking hate Quebec.
‐This guy's fuckin' Puppers.
7
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,033
‐Oh, I'm havin' flash snacks.
‐To what?
8
00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:26,500
To last time we went fishing.
9
00:00:26,533 --> 00:00:28,100
On the ride home,
I had to sit in between
10
00:00:28,133 --> 00:00:29,766
a family size
of Salt'n Vinnies
11
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:31,433
and a party pack
of Dill Picklers.
12
00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:33,733
Admittedly, last time, things
got a little out of whack,
13
00:00:33,766 --> 00:00:35,200
when it comes to the snacks.
14
00:00:35,233 --> 00:00:36,900
We deserve the flak,
but now we're back on track.
15
00:00:36,933 --> 00:00:38,200
We have a new plan of attack.
16
00:00:38,233 --> 00:00:40,133
Everything we pack
has to fit in this sack.
17
00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:41,833
We made a snack pact.
18
00:00:41,866 --> 00:00:43,033
All these have to start
with the letter "C," in fact.
19
00:00:43,066 --> 00:00:45,466
A, stop rhyming. B, why "C"?
20
00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:47,100
‐Well, we trieds "A."
‐Apples.
21
00:00:47,133 --> 00:00:48,866
‐And we trieds "B."
‐Bananas.
22
00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:50,366
But "C" gave us
many choice options.
23
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,333
Cookies. Crackers.
Cheese. Chocolates.
24
00:00:52,366 --> 00:00:54,433
See? And then we're on to "D,"
and so forth.
25
00:00:54,466 --> 00:00:56,266
‐KATY: Mmm. Love the D.
‐Pardon?
26
00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:58,300
‐Why does jerky get to come?
‐It's Caribou jerky.
27
00:00:58,333 --> 00:00:59,900
‐What about the nuts?
‐Corn nuts.
28
00:00:59,933 --> 00:01:02,200
‐And the beer?
‐BOTH: Cold beer.
29
00:01:02,233 --> 00:01:04,100
There's too much
choice in the world.
30
00:01:04,133 --> 00:01:06,000
‐How do you fig, Newton?
‐Well, look at toothpaste.
31
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:07,366
It used to be
just Colgate or Crest.
32
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,766
Now there's
like 20 kinds of each.
33
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:09,933
‐Whitening.
‐Brightening.
34
00:01:09,966 --> 00:01:11,200
‐Enlightening.
‐Goddamn right'ning.
35
00:01:11,233 --> 00:01:12,233
It's goddamn frightening.
36
00:01:12,266 --> 00:01:13,766
Nice work, double D's.
37
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:15,266
Oh, speaking of double D's,
38
00:01:15,300 --> 00:01:16,800
Mrs. McMurray
went to the casino
39
00:01:16,833 --> 00:01:18,100
with her pals the other night,
40
00:01:18,133 --> 00:01:19,433
so McMurray and I
went to the rippers.
41
00:01:19,466 --> 00:01:20,800
When the cat's away,
the mice will play.
42
00:01:20,833 --> 00:01:22,133
Where was my invite?
43
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,866
Get this, one
of the stripper's names...
44
00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:26,166
Tell us on the road.
Let's go fishin'.
45
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:27,866
I loves fishin' in Kwee‐bec.
46
00:01:27,900 --> 00:01:29,766
Who doesn't love fishing
in Kay‐bec?
47
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:31,300
Great fishin' in Kyu‐bec.
48
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:32,800
I fuckin' hate Quebec.
49
00:01:32,833 --> 00:01:34,833
Get this guy
a fuckin' Puppers.
50
00:01:34,866 --> 00:01:36,233
I'll get myself a Puppers.
51
00:01:37,533 --> 00:01:38,733
(DARYL SPITS)
52
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,466
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
53
00:01:49,166 --> 00:01:51,066
(ALL URINATING)
54
00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:55,866
It's nice to have a break
from you guys
55
00:01:55,900 --> 00:01:57,400
naming your own burps.
56
00:01:57,433 --> 00:01:59,733
On the way homes, we'll be
spelling our own farts.
57
00:01:59,766 --> 00:02:01,833
Hey, you pretty near need
consonants for that.
58
00:02:01,866 --> 00:02:04,166
I's and T's, and some P's.
59
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,766
That's maybe smart.
60
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,066
Anywho, about the rippers...
61
00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:08,733
Oh, tell us
when you get there.
62
00:02:08,766 --> 00:02:09,966
There's lots of time
for telling stories
63
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,200
when you go fishin'.
64
00:02:11,233 --> 00:02:13,166
I loves goin' fishings
in Kwee‐bec.
65
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,866
Who doesn't love
fishing in Kay‐bec?
66
00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:16,366
It's great fishin' in Kyu‐bec.
67
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,000
I fuckin' hate Quebec.
68
00:02:18,033 --> 00:02:19,066
Get this guy
a fuckin' Puppers.
69
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:20,766
And everybody else in it, too.
70
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,900
What's the problem,
poopy‐pants?
71
00:02:22,933 --> 00:02:24,333
Well, for one thing,
72
00:02:24,366 --> 00:02:25,733
you can never tell
what the hell they're sayin'
73
00:02:25,766 --> 00:02:26,466
half the time,
that's for one thing.
74
00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:27,933
Ignorance is bliss, bud.
75
00:02:27,966 --> 00:02:29,100
Yeah, they should
figures it out.
76
00:02:29,133 --> 00:02:30,833
Maybe you should
figure it out.
77
00:02:30,866 --> 00:02:32,200
Okay, you try to name me
78
00:02:32,233 --> 00:02:33,766
one good guy
that's a French guy.
79
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,033
You try to name it.
Go ahead and try.
80
00:02:35,066 --> 00:02:36,866
I bet Corey Hart's
a pretty good guy.
81
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:39,100
I'm not sure
that he's a French guy.
82
00:02:39,133 --> 00:02:41,466
DAN: You'd trust somebody's
who wears sunglasses at night?
83
00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:43,000
DARYL: Name me another
French guy that's a good guy.
84
00:02:43,033 --> 00:02:44,466
Go ahead and try.
85
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:47,300
Well, what's about that guy
from the alien show?
86
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,366
‐3rd Rock from the Sun?
‐That's the one.
87
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,166
‐John Lithgow?
‐Nope.
88
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,900
‐French Stewart?
‐Yeah, that's the one.
89
00:02:53,933 --> 00:02:55,100
He's not French.
90
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,266
Well, his name is French.
91
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:57,966
That guy squints too much.
92
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,366
Well, they can take a walk,
the whole lot of 'em.
93
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,400
Dary, I think
there's something
94
00:03:01,433 --> 00:03:02,966
much deeper at play here.
95
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,900
‐Can confirm.
‐What's the story?
96
00:03:05,933 --> 00:03:07,000
All right, well,
so this one time...
97
00:03:07,033 --> 00:03:08,333
Oh, tell us when we get there.
98
00:03:08,366 --> 00:03:09,833
There's lots of time
for tellin' stories
99
00:03:09,866 --> 00:03:11,100
when you're goin' fishin'.
100
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,233
WAYNE: Great day
for sleighin', huh, Dan?
101
00:03:30,266 --> 00:03:31,366
It's a toboggan.
102
00:03:32,433 --> 00:03:34,733
So, Dary, what's the story?
103
00:03:34,766 --> 00:03:36,166
Which one?
104
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,800
I'd hear the ripper story now.
105
00:03:37,833 --> 00:03:39,800
Well, I'd hear why you hate
French people so much.
106
00:03:39,833 --> 00:03:41,466
Doesn't hate 'em. He loves
'em, that's the problem.
107
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:42,866
‐No, I don't.
‐Do too.
108
00:03:42,900 --> 00:03:44,233
‐No, I do not.
‐Yeah, you do.
109
00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:45,466
You love French gals
110
00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:47,166
but hate that
they don't love you.
111
00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,366
(EXHALES)
112
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,200
Dary, please explain.
113
00:03:51,233 --> 00:03:54,233
Well, every time there's
a French gal I kinda like,
114
00:03:54,266 --> 00:03:55,966
I have a real hard time
explaining to her
115
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,233
that I kinda like her
'cause she only speaks French.
116
00:03:58,266 --> 00:03:59,900
And I'm not a good enough
lookin' dude
117
00:03:59,933 --> 00:04:01,333
to get by on just my looks.
118
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:02,733
Aw, Dary.
119
00:04:02,766 --> 00:04:04,233
Give this guy
a fuckin' Puppers.
120
00:04:04,266 --> 00:04:06,500
And, if there's like,
an English gal I kinda like
121
00:04:06,533 --> 00:04:08,133
but there's
a French dude around,
122
00:04:08,166 --> 00:04:09,800
you know she's goin' home
with the French dude
123
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,833
'cause the English gals
love French dudes.
124
00:04:11,866 --> 00:04:13,100
Can confirm.
125
00:04:13,133 --> 00:04:14,966
And English dudes
love French gals.
126
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,166
Can confirm.
127
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,300
That's why they
can take a walk,
128
00:04:17,333 --> 00:04:18,933
the whole lot of 'em.
129
00:04:18,966 --> 00:04:20,433
All right, well let's hear
the ripper story, then.
130
00:04:20,466 --> 00:04:22,166
‐Yeah.
‐Oh. (CHUCKLES)
131
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,366
Okay. (CHUCKLES)
132
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:24,833
Okay, so me and McMurray
133
00:04:24,866 --> 00:04:26,300
went to the rippers
the other night,
134
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:27,466
and there was this stripper
and her name was...
135
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:29,000
All‐anus Morissette.
136
00:04:29,033 --> 00:04:31,166
(ALL LAUGHING)
137
00:04:33,533 --> 00:04:35,133
I loves it
when they do variations
138
00:04:35,166 --> 00:04:36,366
on real people's names.
139
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,733
Like, uh, Avril Vagine.
140
00:04:38,766 --> 00:04:39,866
Nelly Furtaco.
141
00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:41,333
‐Alec Baldwang.
‐(DARYL LAUGHS)
142
00:04:41,366 --> 00:04:43,266
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yep,
but, but...
143
00:04:44,233 --> 00:04:45,966
All‐anus Morrisette.
144
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,100
(ALL CHUCKLING)
145
00:04:48,133 --> 00:04:49,433
Sm'ellen Degenitals.
146
00:04:49,466 --> 00:04:51,266
Oh, Meryl Strip.
147
00:04:51,300 --> 00:04:52,966
Hannibal Licked‐her.
148
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,100
‐Dongie Darko.
‐Count Dracu‐load.
149
00:04:55,133 --> 00:04:56,433
Oh, that's a fun one, too,
150
00:04:56,466 --> 00:04:57,933
'cause it lends itself
to good costumes.
151
00:04:57,966 --> 00:04:59,266
And that's just so camp.
152
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,266
(GIGGLING) Yeah, yeah,
but no, no, but...
153
00:05:04,133 --> 00:05:05,833
All‐anus Morrisette.
154
00:05:05,866 --> 00:05:07,866
‐(ALL LAUGHING)
‐(DISTANT LAUGHTER)
155
00:05:10,833 --> 00:05:12,233
‐Okay, guys...
‐(GROUP LAUGHING)
156
00:05:12,266 --> 00:05:14,433
(RADIO ANNOUNCER
SPEAKING FRENCH)
157
00:05:20,966 --> 00:05:23,100
‐(ANNOUNCER EXCLAIMS)
‐(GROUP LAUGHING)
158
00:05:32,133 --> 00:05:33,266
Who's that?
159
00:05:34,133 --> 00:05:35,166
The French.
160
00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:39,300
(SNORTS)
161
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:41,133
(SPITS)
162
00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:43,733
(GROUP LAUGHING)
163
00:05:43,766 --> 00:05:45,866
‐(COUGHING)
‐(LAUGHING CONTINUES)
164
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:50,733
‐Boys.
‐Boys.
165
00:05:50,766 --> 00:05:52,133
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
166
00:05:54,866 --> 00:05:56,100
What is that,
you little bitch?
167
00:05:56,133 --> 00:05:57,500
What's the red stuff,
schmelts?
168
00:05:57,533 --> 00:05:58,833
‐Shred the red, boys.
‐Shred the red, boys.
169
00:05:58,866 --> 00:06:00,066
Less meals, all wheels.
170
00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:02,033
Protein powder program.
Meal suppies.
171
00:06:02,066 --> 00:06:03,733
Meal scheddie
looks like this, boys.
172
00:06:03,766 --> 00:06:05,200
Breakfast, Shreddies.
173
00:06:05,233 --> 00:06:07,166
Lunch, shreddie the reddies.
Dinner, spaghettis.
174
00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:09,933
(STOMACHS RUMBLING)
175
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:11,866
Shit.
176
00:06:16,866 --> 00:06:18,100
(BOTH SIGHING)
177
00:06:18,133 --> 00:06:19,400
(BOTH FARTING)
178
00:06:19,433 --> 00:06:21,066
REILLY: Only thing about
shredding the red
179
00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:23,166
is a few more trips
to the shit shed, boys.
180
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,966
JONESY: A few more trips
to brown town, buddy.
181
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,166
REILLY: (STRAINING) Table
for one at the Poo‐za Hut.
182
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,366
JONESY: (SIGHS) Gotta let the
jerseys out of the barn, bro.
183
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,133
REILLY: You'll be Russian
to a state visit
184
00:06:31,166 --> 00:06:32,966
with Splat‐amir Poo‐tin.
185
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,933
JONESY: Drown a few
brown snakes, bro.
186
00:06:34,966 --> 00:06:36,433
REILLY: Couple of King Cobra
coilers, boys.
187
00:06:36,466 --> 00:06:38,266
JONESY: King Kong
coilers, boys.
188
00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:39,866
SHORESY:
Fuck my entire fuckin' life,
189
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,466
if you tit‐fuckers
light a match in here,
190
00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:42,966
the whole fuckin'
barn's goin' up.
191
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,500
Give your balls a tug.
192
00:06:44,533 --> 00:06:46,166
REILLY: Fuck you, Shoresy.
SHORESY: Fuck you, Reilly.
193
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:47,333
‐Fight me, see what happens.
‐(FARTING CONTINUES)
194
00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:48,966
Yeah? What's gonna happen,
Shoresy?
195
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,866
Three things, I hit you,
you hit the pavement,
196
00:06:50,900 --> 00:06:53,166
I jerk off on your
driver's side door handle.
197
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,366
JONESY: Fuck you, Shoresy.
SHORESY: Fuck you, Jonesy.
198
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,500
Tell your mom to top up
the cell phone she bought me
199
00:06:57,533 --> 00:06:58,800
so I can FaceTime her
late night.
200
00:06:58,833 --> 00:06:59,833
(FARTS)
201
00:07:05,833 --> 00:07:07,366
I don't think
we can trust her.
202
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,500
‐Pourquoi, Roald?
‐She's got that look.
203
00:07:09,533 --> 00:07:11,066
What?
204
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:12,400
You know when somebody
comes to your party
205
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:13,400
and does all your drugs,
then tells everybody
206
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,833
that you're the drug addict?
207
00:07:14,866 --> 00:07:15,933
Sit.
208
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:21,766
Stay!
209
00:07:24,533 --> 00:07:26,200
FAK‐U's mission moving forward
210
00:07:26,233 --> 00:07:29,733
is hereby labeled,
"Operation Gae."
211
00:07:29,766 --> 00:07:31,200
Objective?
212
00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:34,833
Find a way to get Gae
back to the city,
213
00:07:34,866 --> 00:07:37,100
‐as per her wishes.
‐Danke schoen.
214
00:07:37,133 --> 00:07:38,366
Danke stop,
you're not even German.
215
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:41,100
‐Danke shut your mouth, Roald.
‐(GASPS)
216
00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:44,200
Modus operandi,
create mailbox mayhem.
217
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,933
Our Operation Gae HQ is here.
218
00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:56,166
During the last
gasp of daylight,
219
00:07:56,200 --> 00:08:00,000
we will skulk into
our various positions here,
220
00:08:00,033 --> 00:08:02,933
here, here, and here.
221
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,966
Then upon clown sundown,
222
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:09,400
we will wreak havoc
all over town.
223
00:08:09,433 --> 00:08:11,900
We'll deposit
the contraband in my trunk
224
00:08:11,933 --> 00:08:15,200
and we will dump
our load... Here.
225
00:08:16,866 --> 00:08:18,700
In the Dollar Store
parking lot.
226
00:08:21,966 --> 00:08:24,866
To clarify, you want
to steal mailboxes?
227
00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:26,900
‐Affirmative.
‐That's a federal crime.
228
00:08:26,933 --> 00:08:28,400
(LAUGHS)
229
00:08:28,433 --> 00:08:30,466
‐(SCOFFS)
‐(CHUCKLES)
230
00:08:31,333 --> 00:08:32,333
(SNORTS)
231
00:08:33,333 --> 00:08:35,133
(LAUGHING CONTINUES)
232
00:08:38,033 --> 00:08:39,066
Are you scared?
233
00:08:39,866 --> 00:08:40,966
No.
234
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,166
‐(THUDS)
‐Ooh!
235
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:44,233
Oh!
236
00:08:44,266 --> 00:08:45,733
Ooh, ooh.
237
00:08:46,233 --> 00:08:47,266
(GROANS)
238
00:08:49,033 --> 00:08:50,266
(EXHALES)
239
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:55,800
Best of all, Wayne et al.,
240
00:08:55,833 --> 00:08:57,733
will assume the destruction
was caused
241
00:08:57,766 --> 00:09:00,366
‐by Tanis and her crew again.
‐It's perfect.
242
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:01,866
Hey, maybe could urinate
243
00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:03,133
in the mailboxes too,
you know.
244
00:09:03,166 --> 00:09:04,933
To underline
how pissed off we are.
245
00:09:04,966 --> 00:09:06,133
(LAUGHS)
246
00:09:06,166 --> 00:09:07,733
Roald!
247
00:09:07,766 --> 00:09:09,433
You're in FAK‐U now.
248
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:10,733
It's serious.
249
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:12,866
You're in...
250
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,000
Or you're out.
251
00:09:16,533 --> 00:09:17,833
I acquiesce.
252
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,800
We are FAK‐U.
253
00:09:21,833 --> 00:09:23,833
Freaks Acting Krazee United!
254
00:09:23,866 --> 00:09:26,233
Give me three good reasons
why you feel you must rebel.
255
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:28,366
BOTH: I hate the world.
I hate my parents.
256
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:29,833
‐I hate myself.
‐I hate they.
257
00:09:29,866 --> 00:09:31,100
FAK‐U!
258
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,033
ALL: FAK‐U!
259
00:09:34,066 --> 00:09:35,400
(RADIO BLARING)
260
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,833
(GROUP LAUGHING)
261
00:09:38,866 --> 00:09:39,966
(ANNOUNCER CHEERS)
262
00:09:40,833 --> 00:09:42,100
(LAUGHING CONTINUES)
263
00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:43,500
Not only are they gal hoggers,
264
00:09:43,533 --> 00:09:45,233
they're louder
than a bunch of...
265
00:09:45,266 --> 00:09:47,733
(STAMMERS) Goat... Goddamn
stranded seals over there.
266
00:09:47,766 --> 00:09:49,066
Get this guy
a fuckin' Puppers.
267
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:50,100
I got a Puppers right there.
268
00:09:50,133 --> 00:09:52,200
(GROUP LAUGHING)
269
00:09:53,433 --> 00:09:55,233
Hey!
270
00:09:55,266 --> 00:09:57,733
Didn't they teach you
how to pipe down in CEGEP?
271
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:00,733
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
272
00:10:02,133 --> 00:10:04,100
‐(DISTANT SINGING IN FRENCH)
‐(SPITS)
273
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,366
(SINGING CONTINUES)
274
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:18,100
Hey! He said simmers down,
so simmers down!
275
00:10:18,133 --> 00:10:19,933
Why don't you go
eat some tartars,
276
00:10:19,966 --> 00:10:21,833
you snails suckin'
mime lovers?
277
00:10:24,466 --> 00:10:25,466
Uh...
278
00:10:26,433 --> 00:10:28,200
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
279
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:34,233
I don't know
what the fuck you're saying,
280
00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:37,366
but turn that shit down!
281
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,300
I would rather
have Celine Dion.
282
00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:41,333
(MUTTERING IN FRENCH)
283
00:10:43,133 --> 00:10:45,066
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
284
00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:49,133
(SHOUTING IN FRENCH)
285
00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:51,966
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
286
00:10:57,100 --> 00:11:00,133
(GROUP SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
287
00:11:00,166 --> 00:11:02,233
What do they say
about arguing with idiots?
288
00:11:02,266 --> 00:11:03,866
They'll drag you
down to their level
289
00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:05,366
and beat you with experience.
290
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:06,733
Over and out.
291
00:11:06,766 --> 00:11:08,200
I can be helpful here, fellas.
292
00:11:08,233 --> 00:11:10,966
No we... We got this.
We got this.
293
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:14,200
I still don't know
what the fuck you're saying,
294
00:11:14,233 --> 00:11:18,000
but you're saying it now
in a hostile tone.
295
00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:23,033
And youse don't speak to us
in a hostile tone.
296
00:11:23,066 --> 00:11:24,733
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
297
00:11:29,066 --> 00:11:30,733
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
298
00:11:36,066 --> 00:11:37,100
(LAUGHING)
299
00:11:37,133 --> 00:11:39,133
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
300
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:41,466
I still don't know
what the fuck you're saying,
301
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,400
but other than
Georges St‐Pierre,
302
00:11:43,433 --> 00:11:46,466
every Frenchman
is a fuckin' pussy!
303
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:49,966
So youse better simmer down
and I mean right now!
304
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,766
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
305
00:11:53,833 --> 00:11:55,833
Well, why don't you go
to a poutine festival
306
00:11:55,866 --> 00:11:57,800
in the Thetford Mines?
307
00:11:57,833 --> 00:11:59,166
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
308
00:12:03,433 --> 00:12:05,833
Why don't you go canoe
in the three rivers,
309
00:12:05,866 --> 00:12:07,466
you inbred fur traders?
310
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:08,900
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
311
00:12:08,933 --> 00:12:12,233
Go eat a Nanaimo Bar
in Kamloops...
312
00:12:12,266 --> 00:12:13,966
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
313
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,266
I fuckin' know
what that means.
314
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:16,900
I love Nanaimo Bars.
315
00:12:16,933 --> 00:12:18,366
‐'Cause you do pot.
‐Yeah.
316
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,866
Then why don't you go
savagely force feed a duck
317
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:24,366
and then enjoy your foie gras
in a sugar shack, Trudeau?
318
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,000
(GROUP GASPING)
319
00:12:26,033 --> 00:12:28,000
Why don't you go
snowshoe into the Bell Centre
320
00:12:28,033 --> 00:12:31,400
to watch back‐to‐back
sold‐out Simple Plan shows,
321
00:12:31,433 --> 00:12:33,400
then go eat some
Montreal smoked meat,
322
00:12:33,433 --> 00:12:36,233
you bagel‐munching,
rope pissers?
323
00:12:36,266 --> 00:12:38,000
(SNOWMOBILE APPROACHING)
324
00:13:01,533 --> 00:13:03,233
Anik!
325
00:13:03,266 --> 00:13:04,900
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
326
00:13:05,833 --> 00:13:07,200
(SPEAKING FRENCH) Pfft.
327
00:13:07,233 --> 00:13:09,366
(SPEAKING FRENCH) Pfft.
328
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:12,100
(SPEAKING FRENCH) Pfft.
329
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,333
(SPEAKING FRENCH) Pfft.
330
00:13:14,366 --> 00:13:17,100
(SPEAKING FRENCH) Pfft.
331
00:13:17,133 --> 00:13:19,000
(SPEAKING FRENCH) Pfft.
332
00:13:19,033 --> 00:13:21,733
‐(LAUGHS)
‐(SPEAKING FRENCH) Pfft.
333
00:13:21,766 --> 00:13:23,300
No, you're a cock on a vine!
334
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:25,800
You know what, Dan? Sit down.
335
00:13:25,833 --> 00:13:27,733
You know, this one's off
the beaten path a wee bit,
336
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:28,966
but do you ever notice
how French people
337
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,366
go "pfft" at the end
of a sentence?
338
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,233
Yeah. Yeah, I noticed that.
339
00:13:32,266 --> 00:13:33,766
French people
do that all the time.
340
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:34,900
They end a sentence
and they go "pfft."
341
00:13:34,933 --> 00:13:36,233
I don't knows if I follows.
342
00:13:36,266 --> 00:13:37,800
Well, like if you
were an English person
343
00:13:37,833 --> 00:13:39,400
going "pfft" at the end
of a sentence,
344
00:13:39,433 --> 00:13:41,033
like French people go "pfft"
at the end of the sentence,
345
00:13:41,066 --> 00:13:43,033
the sentence would probably
be something like,
346
00:13:43,066 --> 00:13:44,966
"You get so drunk some nights
you piss the bed,
347
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,200
"but other nights
you get so stoned
348
00:13:46,233 --> 00:13:47,966
"you can't piss at all,
so pfft."
349
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,100
Yeah, or like your guy says,
"Sex isn't good anymore."
350
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,766
And you're like, "Well,
how do you think I feel?
351
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,466
"All you put into it
is your dick, pfft."
352
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,500
You wanna know what's kind
of fun to make fun of 'em for?
353
00:13:55,533 --> 00:13:56,966
Is if right after they go
"pfft," you go...
354
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,033
(IMITATES)
355
00:13:58,066 --> 00:13:59,333
‐Do that again.
‐(IMITATES)
356
00:13:59,366 --> 00:14:01,233
So like, "You like
having casual sex
357
00:14:01,266 --> 00:14:02,900
"'cause he gives
you some good,
358
00:14:02,933 --> 00:14:03,766
"but at the end of the day,
he doesn't give you
359
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:04,900
"a God damn, so, pfft."
360
00:14:04,933 --> 00:14:06,233
‐(IMITATING)
‐Pfft.
361
00:14:06,266 --> 00:14:07,500
‐Pfft! Pfft.
‐(IMITATES)
362
00:14:07,533 --> 00:14:09,033
And you know what else?
363
00:14:09,066 --> 00:14:10,833
None of youse knows
where to put the S's
364
00:14:10,866 --> 00:14:12,833
in your God damn sentences.
365
00:14:12,866 --> 00:14:14,066
So why don't
you go get tricked
366
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:15,833
by a Just For Laughs Gags
367
00:14:15,866 --> 00:14:17,866
before you have
to hold a referendum
368
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:20,000
to separate
my foot from your ass!
369
00:14:21,766 --> 00:14:22,933
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
370
00:14:24,033 --> 00:14:25,733
Choice words, super chief.
371
00:14:28,900 --> 00:14:29,733
‐(FLUSHING)
‐(BOTH SIGHING)
372
00:14:29,766 --> 00:14:31,366
Now that was a big turd,
period, brother.
373
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,333
You gotta have
a big turd, buddy.
374
00:14:33,366 --> 00:14:34,866
Sniped a penalty shit, bro.
375
00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:36,800
Finally got the poo‐er play
clickin', bro.
376
00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:39,000
Almost had
to foreshit the game.
377
00:14:39,033 --> 00:14:40,466
Too many poo‐minute penalties.
378
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:42,933
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
379
00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:45,333
So what? You boys ready
to shred the red?
380
00:14:45,366 --> 00:14:47,766
Shreddy the reddy, boys.
Try it for praccy.
381
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,200
Not sure I want
a trouser brownie,
382
00:14:49,233 --> 00:14:51,366
you little bitch. Yorkie?
383
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,333
Not sure I'm up for smuggling
Fudgee‐Os either, Barts.
384
00:14:54,366 --> 00:14:55,866
Scholtzy.
385
00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:58,733
Not sure I'm up
for squishy poopies.
386
00:14:58,766 --> 00:15:01,200
If it ain't yumsies
in my tumsies,
387
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:03,466
my poopies go squishies.
388
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:06,833
Pussy. Fisky.
389
00:15:06,866 --> 00:15:09,333
I've been stocking nut
like Bulk Barn.
390
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,200
‐Boomtown!
‐In.
391
00:15:11,233 --> 00:15:13,033
That's what I fuckin' love
about you, Boomtown.
392
00:15:13,066 --> 00:15:15,400
Love the jam, Boomtown.
Love it!
393
00:15:15,433 --> 00:15:16,833
Shred the red!
394
00:15:16,866 --> 00:15:19,466
BOTH: Shred the red.
Shred the red!
395
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:22,200
GROUP: Shred the red!
Shred the red!
396
00:15:22,233 --> 00:15:23,500
GROUP: Shred the red!
397
00:15:23,533 --> 00:15:26,266
ALL: Shred the red!
Shred the red!
398
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:28,800
ALL: Shred the red!
Shred the red!
399
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,866
She is hot.
400
00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:06,066
I'm pretty sure the French
word for hot is chaud.
401
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:08,033
I'd like to chaud
her something.
402
00:17:08,066 --> 00:17:10,433
Why don't you invite her
to the chaise lounge, Dary?
403
00:17:11,233 --> 00:17:12,733
I would...
404
00:17:12,766 --> 00:17:13,866
Except I wouldn't
be able to understand
405
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:15,133
what she's saying
half the time.
406
00:17:15,166 --> 00:17:16,200
And I'm not a good
enough looking guy
407
00:17:16,233 --> 00:17:17,800
to get by on just my looks.
408
00:17:17,833 --> 00:17:19,133
(TUTS) Aw, Dary.
409
00:17:19,166 --> 00:17:21,466
Cheer up, Dary.
Despite those frogs,
410
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,766
whose wives can't even
take their last names.
411
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:24,866
I'm pretty sure they don't
use middle names
412
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:25,933
over there either.
413
00:17:25,966 --> 00:17:27,266
No middle names? It's 2015.
414
00:17:28,100 --> 00:17:29,800
No, it's not.
415
00:17:29,833 --> 00:17:31,400
I loves fishin' in Kwee‐bec.
416
00:17:31,433 --> 00:17:33,266
Who doesn't love fishing
in Kay‐bec?
417
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:34,900
It's great fishin in Kyu‐bec.
418
00:17:34,933 --> 00:17:36,366
I fuckin' hate Quebec.
419
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,100
Get this guy
a fuckin' Puppers.
420
00:17:38,133 --> 00:17:39,133
(SPLATTING)
421
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:43,233
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
422
00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:46,900
Pfft!
423
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:49,433
(IMITATES)
424
00:17:49,466 --> 00:17:50,966
‐Pfft!
‐(IMITATES)
425
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,066
‐Pfft!
‐(IMITATES)
426
00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:53,100
‐Pfft!
‐(IMITATES)
427
00:17:57,966 --> 00:18:00,233
(ENGINE REVVING)
428
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,800
Well, I guess everybody
understands body language.
429
00:18:16,833 --> 00:18:19,100
Anik is gone forever.
430
00:18:19,133 --> 00:18:20,500
Aw, next time,
you'll know to strike
431
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:23,166
while the iron's hot,
big shooter.
432
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,300
I just can't catch a break.
433
00:18:26,466 --> 00:18:27,933
(ROD CLICKING)
434
00:18:27,966 --> 00:18:29,300
‐Oh, you got one.
‐DARYL: Oh... Hey...
435
00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:31,233
(LAUGHING) Eh?
436
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,066
Oh, bother.
437
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:43,900
Oh! Too hot.
438
00:18:43,933 --> 00:18:45,333
‐I've had a hearty, boys.
‐(FARTS)
439
00:18:45,366 --> 00:18:46,766
Mudslide, budski.
440
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,266
‐Oh, no. I've shit my pants.
‐(FARTS)
441
00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:51,366
You little bitch. Yorkie.
442
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,000
(FARTING)
443
00:18:53,033 --> 00:18:54,433
I've cranked an eight‐ball
in my sports‐shorts.
444
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:56,066
(FARTING CONTINUES)
445
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:57,133
Scholtzy?
446
00:18:57,166 --> 00:18:58,966
‐(STOMACH RUMBLES)
‐(FARTS)
447
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:03,366
Peak behind door number two to
see my little poop de Ville.
448
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,166
It's my little deuce poop.
Pussy.
449
00:19:06,166 --> 00:19:07,466
Fisky.
450
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:09,400
(FARTS) I've had a blumpy.
451
00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:11,466
A grumpy blumpy.
452
00:19:12,266 --> 00:19:13,466
Boomtown?
453
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:16,200
(SNIFFS THEN SPITS)
454
00:19:16,233 --> 00:19:17,866
I'm ready to get the lead out.
455
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,266
I'm ready to... (FARTS)
456
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:21,366
(SPLATTERING)
457
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,466
Wait.
458
00:19:24,233 --> 00:19:26,133
I shit my pants, too.
459
00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:27,466
I'm sorry.
460
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,700
This is on you,
you little bitch.
461
00:19:31,366 --> 00:19:32,966
I'm gonna get you, schmelt!
462
00:19:38,833 --> 00:19:40,100
(GRUNTS)
463
00:19:40,133 --> 00:19:42,766
Cops are so dumb.
Cops are mushrooms.
464
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,333
I'll need you to expound, Gae.
465
00:19:44,366 --> 00:19:45,966
What do you do with mushrooms?
466
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,800
Are we talking Portobello?
Shiitake? Chanterelles?
467
00:19:48,833 --> 00:19:50,400
I can cook, you know.
468
00:19:50,433 --> 00:19:52,366
You give them shit
and keep them in the dark.
469
00:19:53,833 --> 00:19:55,033
Roald. Are you afflicted?
470
00:20:02,966 --> 00:20:04,000
What are you...
471
00:20:04,466 --> 00:20:05,700
Ow!
472
00:20:07,266 --> 00:20:08,266
Roald?
473
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:14,166
Give me three reasons
why you feel you must rebel.
474
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,966
BOTH: I hate the world.
I hate my parents.
475
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,766
I hate myself!
476
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,933
As you were.
477
00:20:18,966 --> 00:20:20,333
ALL: FAK‐U!
478
00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:25,833
What a bust.
479
00:20:25,866 --> 00:20:28,066
Pretty pedestrian effort,
super chieftains.
480
00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:29,300
Only fish we caught
was the one
481
00:20:29,333 --> 00:20:31,233
Cock Cousteau
tossed over at us.
482
00:20:31,266 --> 00:20:32,866
I fuckin' hate Quebec.
483
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,366
Can't catch a break here.
484
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,066
(SNOWMOBILES APPROACHING)
485
00:20:49,866 --> 00:20:50,900
Oh, bother.
486
00:20:52,066 --> 00:20:53,333
Degens from up‐country.
487
00:21:00,933 --> 00:21:02,866
No ostrich fuckers
in Quebec, hicks.
488
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:10,500
Well, we are way the fucks
outnumbered, bud.
489
00:21:10,533 --> 00:21:13,933
It's not how many you win,
it's how many you show up for.
490
00:21:13,966 --> 00:21:15,833
‐Is that a No Fear slogan?
‐Likely.
491
00:21:18,366 --> 00:21:19,933
(MAN SPEAKING FRENCH)
492
00:21:25,466 --> 00:21:28,066
(CONTINUES IN FRENCH)
493
00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:29,800
(SNORTS AND SPITS)
494
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,366
Bienvenue au Quebec.
495
00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:40,400
‐Your brother's hot.
‐(SPEAKING FRENCH)
496
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:39,833
Do you speak English?
497
00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:42,466
Oui. Yes.
498
00:23:43,866 --> 00:23:44,900
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
499
00:23:44,933 --> 00:23:46,433
Yes. Oui.
500
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,033
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
501
00:23:54,533 --> 00:23:57,066
No problem. Of course.
502
00:23:57,100 --> 00:23:58,966
‐(SPEAKING FRENCH)
‐Bon.
503
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,033
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
504
00:24:01,066 --> 00:24:02,300
Well, it's best
to avoid a scrap
505
00:24:02,333 --> 00:24:04,200
when you're goin' fishin'.
506
00:24:04,233 --> 00:24:06,700
But you hate degens
from up country too, huh?
507
00:24:07,866 --> 00:24:09,766
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
508
00:24:11,333 --> 00:24:12,833
Yeah?
509
00:24:12,866 --> 00:24:14,900
And where exactly
is up‐country Kyu‐bec?
510
00:24:14,933 --> 00:24:16,166
Laval.
511
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,200
My whole life,
I've hated the French.
512
00:24:18,233 --> 00:24:19,266
You can't understand
what they're saying
513
00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:20,933
half the fuckin' time.
514
00:24:20,966 --> 00:24:22,100
And I couldn't land
one of your beautiful women
515
00:24:22,133 --> 00:24:23,233
if my life depended on it.
516
00:24:24,166 --> 00:24:25,466
As far as I'm concerned,
517
00:24:25,500 --> 00:24:26,966
youse can take a walk,
the lot of youse.
518
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,300
But then youse
had our back today...
519
00:24:31,333 --> 00:24:33,733
‐Yeah.
‐Oui.
520
00:24:33,766 --> 00:24:35,900
I loves me fishin'
in Kwee‐bec.
521
00:24:35,933 --> 00:24:37,766
Who doesn't love fishing
in Kay‐bec?
522
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,066
Great fishin' in Kyu‐bec.
523
00:24:39,100 --> 00:24:40,966
I fuckin' love Quebec.
524
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,766
‐Hear, hear!
‐Cheers!
525
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,166
‐ANIK: Sante!
‐Merci, mes amis.
526
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:46,300
Thank you.
527
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:49,833
I'm Anik.
528
00:24:51,866 --> 00:24:53,333
I'm Daryl.
529
00:24:53,366 --> 00:24:54,933
I think you're really
good‐looking.
530
00:24:56,300 --> 00:24:58,033
Um, I was looking at you
531
00:24:58,066 --> 00:25:00,133
and I see you
look at me so, pfft.
532
00:25:00,166 --> 00:25:01,866
(IMITATES)
533
00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:03,366
You speak English.
534
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,133
Pretty much everyone
in Quebec does.
535
00:25:06,233 --> 00:25:08,066
Wow.
536
00:25:08,100 --> 00:25:09,266
Do you like Alanis Morissette?
537
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,166
(GIGGLES)
538
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,466
(GIGGLING CONTINUES)
539
00:25:20,766 --> 00:25:22,066
Oui.
540
00:25:22,100 --> 00:25:23,466
(LAUGHING)37585
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