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1
00:00:12,992 --> 00:00:14,659
All right. After autumn...
2
00:00:14,692 --> 00:00:16,826
Ask anyone around the area
about accuracy.
3
00:00:16,859 --> 00:00:18,559
Arctic activities
are abundant,
4
00:00:18,592 --> 00:00:21,092
astonishing, astounding and
A‐1 on all accounts.
5
00:00:21,126 --> 00:00:22,959
‐Back up...
‐But before beach bodies,
6
00:00:22,992 --> 00:00:24,559
bros better bundle up
in boots,
7
00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:25,959
blankets, and balaclavas
8
00:00:25,992 --> 00:00:27,226
because a bloody,
bitter breeze
9
00:00:27,259 --> 00:00:28,959
will blow brisk,
blustery and bleak.
10
00:00:28,992 --> 00:00:30,992
‐Careful...
‐Correct and common to cocoon
11
00:00:31,026 --> 00:00:32,626
in a cap, coat and comforter,
12
00:00:32,659 --> 00:00:34,526
because a cutting cold
can consume your character,
13
00:00:34,559 --> 00:00:35,892
occasionally create a corpse
14
00:00:35,926 --> 00:00:37,126
and continually compress
your cock.
15
00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:38,792
‐Don't...
‐Don't you dare dawdle,
16
00:00:38,826 --> 00:00:40,892
dilly‐dally, or dick around
after dark in December,
17
00:00:40,926 --> 00:00:43,059
she's definitely damn drafty
if you're down a duvet.
18
00:00:43,092 --> 00:00:44,626
‐Easily...
‐Each and every earthling's
19
00:00:44,659 --> 00:00:45,892
environmentally enslaved.
20
00:00:45,926 --> 00:00:47,626
‐Fact...
‐It's fucking freezing.
21
00:00:47,659 --> 00:00:49,892
It's friggin' frigid.
You're fit for flu in February
22
00:00:49,926 --> 00:00:52,592
without fleece, flannel,
full‐fledged furnace, or fire.
23
00:00:52,626 --> 00:00:53,992
‐Go on...
‐It's goddamn glacial,
24
00:00:54,026 --> 00:00:56,659
go grab gloves or garb and
gear up for gusts.
25
00:00:56,692 --> 00:00:58,459
‐Hear ya...
‐Hypothermia,
26
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,059
if you don't heat your home
to half hellish it's harsh.
27
00:01:00,092 --> 00:01:01,759
Hibernate in a hoodie,
hot chocolate,
28
00:01:01,792 --> 00:01:03,026
Harry and the Hendersons.
29
00:01:03,059 --> 00:01:04,959
‐Infinitely icy...
‐Inhabit indoors.
30
00:01:04,992 --> 00:01:06,492
Isolated and insulated.
31
00:01:06,526 --> 00:01:08,659
Incubate the igloo.
Illness is an issue.
32
00:01:08,692 --> 00:01:11,126
Influenzas implied.
Infections imminent.
33
00:01:11,159 --> 00:01:12,859
Immunity is impossible.
34
00:01:19,159 --> 00:01:21,092
‐Just joking...
‐Ah, just joshin' jargon.
35
00:01:21,126 --> 00:01:23,592
It ain't jail. Jackets in
January's no jigsaw.
36
00:01:23,626 --> 00:01:25,192
‐Keep calm...
‐Killjoys keep comfy
37
00:01:25,226 --> 00:01:27,192
in their kingdom,
crashing kilos of Kleenex,
38
00:01:27,226 --> 00:01:29,126
keen for cozy kayaking
with their kids
39
00:01:29,159 --> 00:01:31,092
when the key is killing kegs
with your kin.
40
00:01:31,126 --> 00:01:32,759
‐Literally...
‐Losers live life
41
00:01:32,792 --> 00:01:34,859
locked in their layers,
lingering lazy and lifeless,
42
00:01:34,892 --> 00:01:36,492
lost like legit loners,
43
00:01:36,526 --> 00:01:38,092
while the leaders in
larger learning let loose.
44
00:01:38,126 --> 00:01:39,526
(CHUCKLES) Muff.
45
00:01:39,559 --> 00:01:41,226
Earmuffs, mittens and
mucus medicine,
46
00:01:41,259 --> 00:01:43,092
till mighty maniacal
Mother Nature makes
47
00:01:43,126 --> 00:01:44,959
milder, mellower,
and meltier moves.
48
00:01:44,992 --> 00:01:47,192
Motivate your mates, like the
Moose Marc Messier.
49
00:01:47,226 --> 00:01:48,959
Maybe mix a martini
for your maiden,
50
00:01:48,992 --> 00:01:50,692
‐if you've met your match.
‐Nature.
51
00:01:50,726 --> 00:01:52,692
Naturally nippy, but that's
nothin' new up north.
52
00:01:52,726 --> 00:01:55,026
Normal naturistic narrative.
Not national news.
53
00:01:55,059 --> 00:01:56,492
‐Overcast.
‐Overcoats and
54
00:01:56,526 --> 00:01:58,159
‐overshoes, obviously.
‐Polar.
55
00:01:58,192 --> 00:02:00,226
Parkas and pullovers,
particularily.
56
00:02:00,259 --> 00:02:02,226
‐Tried quail?
‐A quantity of quality quilts
57
00:02:02,259 --> 00:02:03,992
is quaint and
quasi‐quintessential
58
00:02:04,026 --> 00:02:06,026
to avoid quivering
and quash quarrelling
59
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:07,959
if quarantined to
one's quarters. Try quail.
60
00:02:07,992 --> 00:02:09,559
‐Reindeer.
‐Well, not raw rookie.
61
00:02:09,592 --> 00:02:10,892
In a rosemary‐rubbed roast
62
00:02:10,926 --> 00:02:12,526
with radish,
wrapped in rich, rare bacon
63
00:02:12,559 --> 00:02:14,226
after removing
Rudolph's red nose.
64
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:15,692
‐Sleddin'.
‐So, we're sound.
65
00:02:15,726 --> 00:02:17,226
Sled's a synonym
for snowmobiles.
66
00:02:17,259 --> 00:02:19,059
Snowmobile's a
synonym for sled.
67
00:02:19,092 --> 00:02:22,726
So, a sled is a snowmobile,
a snowmobile is a sled. Super?
68
00:02:30,259 --> 00:02:31,992
‐Terrific.
‐Trust a traditional
69
00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:34,592
turtleneck to maintain a
toasty temperature over time.
70
00:02:34,626 --> 00:02:35,659
‐Ugly.
‐Useful.
71
00:02:35,692 --> 00:02:36,959
‐Vile.
‐Valuable.
72
00:02:36,992 --> 00:02:37,959
‐Whatever.
‐Whiteouts and wind chills,
73
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:39,459
walk it off, whiners.
74
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,559
Withdraw whimpering and
wake up, wankers.
75
00:02:41,592 --> 00:02:42,826
Wrathful wicked weather.
76
00:02:42,859 --> 00:02:45,059
Wear woolens or
waterproof wardrobe.
77
00:02:45,092 --> 00:02:47,092
Warm your wet
workwear by the woodstove.
78
00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:49,626
Winter is wonderful,
wild and wide.
79
00:02:49,659 --> 00:02:50,992
‐Exactly.
‐Exceptionally.
80
00:02:51,026 --> 00:02:52,192
‐Yup.
‐Yeah.
81
00:02:52,226 --> 00:02:54,226
Zero... Degrees?
82
00:02:54,259 --> 00:02:55,559
Well, sub‐zero.
83
00:02:56,126 --> 00:02:57,192
Aw, zip it.
84
00:02:57,226 --> 00:02:59,426
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
85
00:03:23,726 --> 00:03:25,526
(HARD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
86
00:04:58,226 --> 00:04:58,992
Guess those idiots won't be
87
00:04:59,026 --> 00:04:59,926
bothering us
anymore, nee‐ya‐wa.
88
00:04:59,959 --> 00:05:01,792
‐How are you now?
‐Please don't talk to me
89
00:05:01,826 --> 00:05:03,159
‐like a fuckin' hick.
‐Not so bad.
90
00:05:03,192 --> 00:05:04,592
Are you serious
with that fuckin' turtleneck?
91
00:05:04,626 --> 00:05:05,926
You lose a lot of heat
in the neck.
92
00:05:05,959 --> 00:05:07,059
I'm okay,
if that's what you're askin'.
93
00:05:07,092 --> 00:05:08,092
That's what I'm askin'.
94
00:05:08,126 --> 00:05:09,526
I wasn't ready to have a kid.
95
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,726
Well, that is
your choice to make.
96
00:05:10,759 --> 00:05:12,092
You're goddamn right
it's my choice.
97
00:05:12,126 --> 00:05:13,692
‐Sure, it is.
‐I'm glad I took care of it.
98
00:05:13,726 --> 00:05:14,926
Well, that is your right.
99
00:05:14,959 --> 00:05:16,626
You're goddamn right
it's my right.
100
00:05:16,659 --> 00:05:18,726
I'm not even sure if it was
yours, but thank you.
101
00:05:18,759 --> 00:05:20,959
Thanks for the
smokes and Pepperettes.
102
00:05:20,992 --> 00:05:22,992
I'll see ya when I
see ya, boo...
103
00:05:23,026 --> 00:05:24,059
Over and out.
104
00:05:32,992 --> 00:05:34,959
(COUGHING)
105
00:05:35,092 --> 00:05:36,859
You gots a cold there, Darys?
106
00:05:36,892 --> 00:05:38,159
Hmm, just a cough.
107
00:05:38,192 --> 00:05:39,559
Well, you knows
what they says...
108
00:05:39,592 --> 00:05:40,559
If you don't take care
of a cold,
109
00:05:40,592 --> 00:05:41,992
she'll stay for seven days.
110
00:05:42,026 --> 00:05:43,859
If you take care of it,
she'll be gone in a week.
111
00:05:43,892 --> 00:05:46,192
Yep. We can't promise summers
but we'll guarantees winters.
112
00:05:46,226 --> 00:05:47,692
You fuckin' serious
with that turtleneck?
113
00:05:47,726 --> 00:05:49,492
Yeah, you lose a lot of
heat in the neck.
114
00:05:49,526 --> 00:05:51,526
Jivin' Pete says he pulls a
pikes outta here yesterday.
115
00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:52,592
Heard Jivin's been hanging out
116
00:05:52,626 --> 00:05:53,926
with some degens
from up country.
117
00:05:53,959 --> 00:05:55,659
(DAN GRUMBLES)
118
00:05:55,692 --> 00:05:57,192
He's a decent guy, but
119
00:05:57,226 --> 00:05:58,692
ain't no way he pulled no
pike outta here yesterday.
120
00:05:58,726 --> 00:05:59,792
Says he pulled a pikes,
121
00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:02,159
a perch, a wallseyes and
a trout.
122
00:06:02,192 --> 00:06:03,559
Is that a brook trout?
123
00:06:03,592 --> 00:06:04,792
‐No, it'd be lake trout.
‐Why's that?
124
00:06:04,826 --> 00:06:06,159
'Cause we're on
a fuckin' lake, Dary.
125
00:06:07,092 --> 00:06:08,526
I'm hungry.
126
00:06:08,559 --> 00:06:09,826
There's whitefish
in the cooler.
127
00:06:09,859 --> 00:06:11,526
Well, how the fuck
did that get there?
128
00:06:11,559 --> 00:06:13,026
I pulled outta here before
you's got here.
129
00:06:13,059 --> 00:06:14,092
‐No, you never.
‐Did too.
130
00:06:14,126 --> 00:06:15,159
‐No, you never.
‐Did too.
131
00:06:15,192 --> 00:06:16,492
No, you never. If you did
132
00:06:16,526 --> 00:06:17,792
you'd still be
talking about it.
133
00:06:17,826 --> 00:06:19,092
Oh yeah, well, where'd it
come from then?
134
00:06:19,126 --> 00:06:20,792
Well, you brought it
from home likely.
135
00:06:20,826 --> 00:06:22,492
Well, there's nothin's even to
cooks it on anyways.
136
00:06:22,526 --> 00:06:24,226
‐You gonna let that stop you?
‐What do you means?
137
00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:25,792
Haven't you ever
heard of sashimis?
138
00:06:25,826 --> 00:06:28,692
‐Sashimis?
‐Oh, I got time for sashimis.
139
00:06:28,726 --> 00:06:30,059
‐What about sushi?
‐Sushis.
140
00:06:30,092 --> 00:06:32,592
Oh, I got so much time
for sushis.
141
00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:33,792
Yeah, we should pull it out
142
00:06:33,826 --> 00:06:35,226
and hack it out and
down the hatch.
143
00:06:35,259 --> 00:06:38,492
Oh no,
I knows what it is, I just...
144
00:06:39,992 --> 00:06:41,626
I just don't think
you needs to put an "s"
145
00:06:41,659 --> 00:06:42,959
on the end to that word.
146
00:06:42,992 --> 00:06:44,459
Hey, Dary, you ever had
sushis with shrimps?
147
00:06:44,492 --> 00:06:45,659
Yeah.
148
00:06:45,692 --> 00:06:46,926
You ever had
sushis with unagis?
149
00:06:46,959 --> 00:06:48,159
‐Yeah.
‐That's eels.
150
00:06:48,192 --> 00:06:49,726
Oh, I know that's eels.
151
00:06:50,726 --> 00:06:52,092
I just... I'm pretty sure
152
00:06:52,126 --> 00:06:54,892
you don't needs an "s"
to pluralize those words.
153
00:06:54,926 --> 00:06:56,959
Hey, Dary, you ever had
sashimis with salmons?
154
00:06:56,992 --> 00:06:58,659
Oh, yeah. You ever had
sashimis with tunas?
155
00:06:58,692 --> 00:06:59,926
Yeah. With wasabis?
156
00:06:59,959 --> 00:07:01,059
Oh, yeah. Love wasabis.
157
00:07:01,092 --> 00:07:02,792
I like wasabis, too.
158
00:07:02,826 --> 00:07:04,759
If asks you politelys to
stop this, would you do it?
159
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:08,526
Oh, you can have yellowfin
tunas, bluefin tunas.
160
00:07:08,559 --> 00:07:10,026
I think tunas make
the best sashimis.
161
00:07:10,059 --> 00:07:11,826
I thinks I'm having
a panics attack.
162
00:07:11,859 --> 00:07:14,226
Well, the Japanese call the
bluefin tunas maguro tunas,
163
00:07:14,259 --> 00:07:15,659
those are kind of like the
164
00:07:15,692 --> 00:07:16,992
default tunas
that they use in sushis.
165
00:07:17,026 --> 00:07:18,526
Yeah, but toro is a
more expensive tuna but
166
00:07:18,559 --> 00:07:19,759
it makes the best sashimis.
167
00:07:19,792 --> 00:07:20,959
Oh, it's way better
than salmons.
168
00:07:20,992 --> 00:07:21,992
Hey!
169
00:07:23,692 --> 00:07:25,926
When's... When's Katy's
gettin' back from the citys?
170
00:07:25,959 --> 00:07:27,526
Oh, she'll come back
when she's good and ready.
171
00:07:27,559 --> 00:07:28,859
She'll figure it out.
172
00:07:28,892 --> 00:07:29,726
I figure she'll be back
for sledding season.
173
00:07:29,759 --> 00:07:31,059
Oh, Katy loves sleddin'.
174
00:07:31,092 --> 00:07:32,092
(SIGHS)
175
00:07:34,826 --> 00:07:35,992
It chap your ass at all that
176
00:07:36,026 --> 00:07:37,159
there's only one shack on the
177
00:07:37,192 --> 00:07:38,192
shed trail through
Letterkenny?
178
00:07:38,226 --> 00:07:39,192
Well, it doesn't chap my ass,
179
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:40,759
but I guess there could be
180
00:07:40,792 --> 00:07:42,159
another stop along the
trail for a social.
181
00:07:42,192 --> 00:07:43,692
Yeah, like it doesn't
chap my ass either,
182
00:07:43,726 --> 00:07:44,959
but I'm just sayin' that
sleddin' and socials
183
00:07:44,992 --> 00:07:46,092
go together like
piss and a fart.
184
00:07:46,126 --> 00:07:47,159
Yeah.
185
00:07:47,192 --> 00:07:48,726
I guess there could be
186
00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:50,226
another stop along the trail
for a social.
187
00:07:50,259 --> 00:07:51,759
Could be another stop
along the trail for a dart.
188
00:07:51,792 --> 00:07:53,526
Well, it's a great spot
for a darty‐party.
189
00:07:53,559 --> 00:07:54,592
So, we're gonna build
a new shack?
190
00:07:54,626 --> 00:07:55,759
I'm surprised we're not
191
00:07:55,792 --> 00:07:56,792
buildin' a new shack
right now.
192
00:07:56,826 --> 00:07:58,626
That's what I'm sayin'.
193
00:07:58,659 --> 00:08:00,226
I figure it's about time that
we stopped talkin' about it
194
00:08:00,259 --> 00:08:01,892
‐and started bein' about it.
‐Oh, we could just throw up
195
00:08:01,926 --> 00:08:03,526
the structure and get all the
materials paid off
196
00:08:03,559 --> 00:08:05,726
‐sellin' two‐dollar cans.
‐Two‐dollar socials.
197
00:08:05,759 --> 00:08:07,559
Yeah, we could sell
whitefish sashimis
198
00:08:07,592 --> 00:08:08,859
to help expedite the process.
199
00:08:08,892 --> 00:08:10,692
Oh, we could get
real stinky and
200
00:08:10,726 --> 00:08:12,459
sell perch and walleye sushis.
201
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,492
Hey!
202
00:08:15,226 --> 00:08:16,592
Walleye...
203
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:19,959
Perch...
204
00:08:21,659 --> 00:08:24,092
And whitefish...
205
00:08:26,192 --> 00:08:28,159
Are not...
206
00:08:31,559 --> 00:08:34,959
Sushi or...
207
00:08:35,959 --> 00:08:41,592
Sashimi grade.
208
00:08:43,526 --> 00:08:44,759
(SIGHS)
209
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,026
Well, yeah, I guess you'd
have to do pot
210
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,992
to accomplish
that sort of appetite.
211
00:08:48,926 --> 00:08:49,992
Says you.
212
00:08:52,659 --> 00:08:53,992
‐Pre‐game sandos?
‐Check, buddy.
213
00:08:54,026 --> 00:08:55,726
‐Pre‐game nappies?
‐Check, bro.
214
00:08:55,759 --> 00:08:58,026
Don Cherry's Rock 'Em
Sock 'Em 6 for motivation?
215
00:08:58,059 --> 00:08:59,992
Don Cherry's Rock 'Em
Sock 'Em 6.
216
00:09:00,026 --> 00:09:02,792
Chel Tourney for
game situation visualization?
217
00:09:02,826 --> 00:09:04,992
Second Chel Tourney for
peak performance imagery.
218
00:09:05,026 --> 00:09:07,059
‐Pre‐game dump?
‐No pre‐game dump.
219
00:09:07,092 --> 00:09:08,692
Hmm. No pre‐game cruncher.
220
00:09:08,726 --> 00:09:10,559
No pre‐game deucer.
221
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:11,892
Better go drop that bomb.
222
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,026
Better go release the
chocolate hostage.
223
00:09:13,059 --> 00:09:14,226
Better bust a grumpy.
224
00:09:14,259 --> 00:09:15,792
Better go
call in a code brown.
225
00:09:15,826 --> 00:09:17,559
‐Better go boost one.
‐Eat. Sleep. Boost.
226
00:09:17,592 --> 00:09:18,826
‐Caffeine.
‐Check.
227
00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:20,092
‐Creatine?
‐Check.
228
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:21,159
‐Livin' the dream.
‐Livin' the dream.
229
00:09:21,192 --> 00:09:22,659
Hold my spitter.
230
00:09:25,059 --> 00:09:26,059
Hold my spitter.
231
00:10:40,792 --> 00:10:42,659
All right,
how're we gonna fuck this pig?
232
00:10:42,692 --> 00:10:44,192
Well, you're gonna wanna
starts with dimensions.
233
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,092
‐What're you thinkin' there?
‐14‐by‐16.
234
00:10:46,126 --> 00:10:47,692
What, you wanna play
dodgeball in there, Dary?
235
00:10:47,726 --> 00:10:49,659
14‐by‐16, well,
that's five me's,
236
00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:51,159
five you's and five Dary's.
237
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,026
You wanna play three team
dodgeball in there, Dan?
238
00:10:53,059 --> 00:10:54,626
Call it 12‐by‐14.
239
00:10:54,659 --> 00:10:56,192
You wanna play fuckin'
dodgeball in there, Dary.
240
00:10:56,226 --> 00:10:57,826
12‐by‐14.
241
00:10:57,859 --> 00:10:59,659
That's four me's,
four you's and four Dary's.
242
00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:01,092
You wanna play two‐team
dodgeball with
243
00:11:01,126 --> 00:11:02,692
one sub each in there, Dan?
244
00:11:02,726 --> 00:11:03,826
How about 8‐by‐10?
245
00:11:06,692 --> 00:11:08,192
Well, I'd fuck with
8‐by‐10.
246
00:11:08,226 --> 00:11:10,126
No, you're not playin' no
dodgeball in no 8‐by‐10s.
247
00:11:10,159 --> 00:11:11,826
I never wanted to play no
dodgeball in no 8‐by‐10.
248
00:11:11,859 --> 00:11:13,792
Oh, I got so much time
for 8‐by‐10.
249
00:11:13,826 --> 00:11:15,659
8‐by‐10,
that's three me's,
250
00:11:15,692 --> 00:11:17,226
three you's and two Dary's.
251
00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:18,892
‐Comfortably?
‐You're cozy.
252
00:11:18,926 --> 00:11:20,059
Plus some
wiggle room in there.
253
00:11:20,092 --> 00:11:21,559
Call it 8‐by‐10.
254
00:11:21,592 --> 00:11:22,959
Call it a Texas size 10‐4,
good buddy.
255
00:11:25,592 --> 00:11:27,526
Show you how we're gonna
have the structure.
256
00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:28,792
What we're gonna do is put a
257
00:11:28,826 --> 00:11:30,959
space heater here,
mini fridge here.
258
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,592
Gonna throw the
genny right out there.
259
00:11:34,626 --> 00:11:36,826
What about the
sushis and sashimis?
260
00:11:36,859 --> 00:11:38,026
‐Hey!
‐(DOOR OPENS)
261
00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:40,926
Hey!
262
00:11:40,959 --> 00:11:42,459
‐Hey.
‐How're ya now?
263
00:11:42,492 --> 00:11:43,826
‐Good, and you?
‐Not so bad.
264
00:11:43,859 --> 00:11:45,192
You fuckin' serious
with that turtleneck?
265
00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:46,592
Lose a lot a heat in the neck.
266
00:11:46,626 --> 00:11:47,792
You fuckin' serious
with that hair?
267
00:11:47,826 --> 00:11:49,459
‐Figure it out.
‐You figure it out.
268
00:11:49,492 --> 00:11:50,626
Where you's been?
269
00:11:50,659 --> 00:11:51,792
‐Modeling.
‐How's that for you?
270
00:11:51,826 --> 00:11:53,059
‐Boring.
‐Okay.
271
00:11:53,092 --> 00:11:54,526
There's no money in it.
272
00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:55,926
‐Way she goes.
‐A monkey could do it.
273
00:11:55,959 --> 00:11:57,726
‐Good enough.
‐Missed sleddin' season, too.
274
00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,092
I told you she'd miss
sleddin' season.
275
00:11:59,126 --> 00:12:00,692
I was the one who said
she'd figure it out.
276
00:12:00,726 --> 00:12:02,626
‐You figure it out.
‐You figure it out.
277
00:12:02,659 --> 00:12:03,759
Where's your shits?
278
00:12:03,792 --> 00:12:04,959
About that...
279
00:12:08,626 --> 00:12:09,859
These are...
280
00:12:09,892 --> 00:12:11,026
My friends.
281
00:12:11,059 --> 00:12:13,492
Well, what are your
friends named?
282
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:16,726
Shep and Kingsley.
283
00:12:16,759 --> 00:12:18,992
‐Those are dude's names?
‐Yeah.
284
00:12:19,026 --> 00:12:20,192
They sound like dog names.
285
00:12:20,226 --> 00:12:21,859
I don't like
where this is goin'.
286
00:12:21,892 --> 00:12:22,959
We'll be in my room.
287
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,459
Guys, hang up your coats.
288
00:12:33,492 --> 00:12:34,792
Where's your
fuckin' shirt, Shep?
289
00:12:34,826 --> 00:12:36,959
Where the fuck is
your shirt, Kingsley?
290
00:12:36,992 --> 00:12:38,459
‐It ripped.
‐It ripped?
291
00:12:38,492 --> 00:12:40,459
‐Mine too.
‐How?
292
00:12:40,492 --> 00:12:42,192
'Cause I'm so fat.
293
00:12:42,226 --> 00:12:43,959
Me too, I'm so fat.
294
00:12:43,992 --> 00:12:45,126
I'm a bat fastard.
295
00:12:45,159 --> 00:12:47,059
‐I'm a fat podger.
‐Guys...
296
00:12:47,092 --> 00:12:48,826
Enough, let's go.
297
00:12:48,859 --> 00:12:51,159
If I was a Dr. Seuss book
I'd be The Fat in the Hat.
298
00:12:51,192 --> 00:12:53,792
If I was an arcade fighting
game I'd be Mortal Komfat.
299
00:12:53,826 --> 00:12:55,459
If I was one of the
five boroughs in New York City
300
00:12:55,492 --> 00:12:56,959
I'd be the Fatten Island.
301
00:12:56,992 --> 00:12:58,792
If I was an Italian city‐state
I'd be the Fatican.
302
00:12:58,826 --> 00:12:59,959
Put a fuckin' shirt on!
303
00:13:10,592 --> 00:13:12,759
I don't know what happened
to you dusters,
304
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:17,226
but, fuck me, do you fuck dog!
305
00:13:17,259 --> 00:13:18,726
Walkin' around poutin' like
306
00:13:18,759 --> 00:13:20,959
your little sister
took your last Oreo.
307
00:13:20,992 --> 00:13:22,559
And not a traditional Oreo,
308
00:13:22,592 --> 00:13:26,059
no, a limited edition Oreo,
or seasonal Oreo
309
00:13:26,092 --> 00:13:28,926
they're gonna take off
the shelf for another year.
310
00:13:28,959 --> 00:13:30,626
Hey, Barts,
311
00:13:30,659 --> 00:13:34,926
did little Natiesha take
your last Halloween Oreo?
312
00:13:34,959 --> 00:13:36,592
You didn't get a chance to say
313
00:13:36,626 --> 00:13:40,092
goodbye to that
delicious orange frosting?
314
00:13:40,126 --> 00:13:42,492
What about you, Yorkie? Huh?
315
00:13:42,526 --> 00:13:43,692
Did little Tamsyn take your
316
00:13:43,726 --> 00:13:46,159
last Reese's
Peanut Butter Cup Oreo?
317
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:47,959
Well, it gets worse.
318
00:13:47,992 --> 00:13:51,592
Those have been
discontinued forever.
319
00:13:51,626 --> 00:13:53,559
What about you, Scholtzy, huh?
320
00:13:53,592 --> 00:13:54,892
Did little Tay'Rhonda
321
00:13:54,926 --> 00:13:57,592
take your last Ice Cream
Oreo Orange Sherbet?
322
00:13:57,626 --> 00:13:59,826
That is a summertime flavor.
323
00:13:59,859 --> 00:14:01,092
Good luck suckin' back on
324
00:14:01,126 --> 00:14:03,459
one of those in the
next six months.
325
00:14:04,692 --> 00:14:05,892
Fisky, I know.
326
00:14:05,926 --> 00:14:07,826
You're a Birthday
Cream Fudge guy.
327
00:14:07,859 --> 00:14:09,859
They're all gone. What?
328
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,659
Little DeSondra
was the culprit.
329
00:14:11,692 --> 00:14:13,559
And her pal LarawnShawn
330
00:14:13,592 --> 00:14:17,092
took the last Heads or
Tails Mega Stuff, too!
331
00:14:18,492 --> 00:14:20,159
Hey, Boomtown.
You're an only child.
332
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,226
You got your
NASCAR Daytona Oreos?
333
00:14:22,259 --> 00:14:25,826
It's fucking embarrassing!
334
00:14:25,859 --> 00:14:27,592
Let me give you some
advice, donkeys.
335
00:14:27,626 --> 00:14:31,026
Take a page out of
Jonesy and Reilly's book.
336
00:14:37,759 --> 00:14:41,792
My boys, I skipped curfew call
for you last night 'cause
337
00:14:41,826 --> 00:14:43,459
I knew you'd be doin' legs,
338
00:14:43,492 --> 00:14:44,759
and I didn't want
to interrupt.
339
00:14:44,792 --> 00:14:45,892
We've been doin' legs
two‐a‐days since
340
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,126
the first week
of summer, Coach.
341
00:14:47,159 --> 00:14:48,526
Blocked every wheelchair ramp
342
00:14:48,559 --> 00:14:50,459
in the arena so
we'd have to do stairs.
343
00:14:50,492 --> 00:14:51,959
Tenacity.
344
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:53,826
You can't teach that.
345
00:14:53,859 --> 00:14:55,859
You know, I never thought
those pheasants
346
00:14:55,892 --> 00:15:01,959
would fuck the dog so hard
347
00:15:01,992 --> 00:15:03,959
that you two would become
my studs!
348
00:15:03,992 --> 00:15:05,159
‐Thanks, Coach.
‐Thanks, Coach.
349
00:15:05,192 --> 00:15:07,459
Well, I need one win.
350
00:15:08,792 --> 00:15:11,826
One W.
351
00:15:11,859 --> 00:15:13,559
What are you gonna do
to get me that?
352
00:15:13,592 --> 00:15:14,692
‐Selfish hockey.
‐Selfish hockey.
353
00:15:14,726 --> 00:15:17,226
That's right. Selfish hockey!
354
00:15:17,259 --> 00:15:18,692
Break it down.
355
00:15:18,726 --> 00:15:20,192
Skate the puck. Don't pass it.
356
00:15:20,226 --> 00:15:21,692
Head man's still gonna be
there when you catch up.
357
00:15:21,726 --> 00:15:23,226
Take it coast‐to‐coast.
358
00:15:23,259 --> 00:15:25,126
Shots from poor angles
are still shots.
359
00:15:25,159 --> 00:15:26,659
Buck and a half,
two‐minute shifts,
360
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:28,026
three minutes even.
361
00:15:28,059 --> 00:15:29,226
Cruise the blue line
to catch your breath.
362
00:15:29,259 --> 00:15:30,759
Bad bounce,
that's a good breakaway.
363
00:15:30,792 --> 00:15:33,026
‐Gotta get the bounces, boys.
‐Perfect.
364
00:15:33,059 --> 00:15:35,192
And a retaliation penalty
never hurt anyone.
365
00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,792
What's our mantra?
366
00:15:36,826 --> 00:15:38,892
BOTH: They don't ask how,
they ask how many.
367
00:15:38,926 --> 00:15:39,926
That's right.
368
00:15:42,759 --> 00:15:44,626
What did I tell you
about stick tape?
369
00:15:45,892 --> 00:15:49,492
You don't need it!
370
00:15:51,259 --> 00:15:53,492
The only people that'll be
worrying about puck handling
371
00:15:53,526 --> 00:15:55,092
are Jonesy and Reilly!
372
00:15:55,126 --> 00:15:56,826
Save it for them! Huh?
373
00:15:58,726 --> 00:16:00,992
W!
374
00:16:04,626 --> 00:16:06,726
Well, let's fuck this pig.
375
00:16:06,759 --> 00:16:07,826
Structure goes here.
376
00:16:07,859 --> 00:16:09,092
Sled parking here.
377
00:16:09,126 --> 00:16:10,592
Pretty good spot
for pissin' over there.
378
00:16:10,626 --> 00:16:12,992
Pissin' outside's for
dogs and degens.
379
00:16:13,026 --> 00:16:14,859
I piss outside
as much as the dog does.
380
00:16:14,892 --> 00:16:16,726
Well, I'm not above it either.
I'm just sayin'.
381
00:16:16,759 --> 00:16:18,992
Fuck, we could really use some
kind of bar in this town, eh?
382
00:16:19,026 --> 00:16:20,026
(PHONE BUZZING)
383
00:16:23,826 --> 00:16:24,959
‐Katy.
‐Big brother.
384
00:16:24,992 --> 00:16:26,226
‐How're ya now?
‐Good and you?
385
00:16:26,259 --> 00:16:27,526
‐Not so bad.
‐My friends need
386
00:16:27,559 --> 00:16:28,659
to borrow clothes.
387
00:16:28,692 --> 00:16:30,192
Give 'em barn clothes.
388
00:16:30,226 --> 00:16:31,626
I won't have barn clothes
in the house. They stink.
389
00:16:31,659 --> 00:16:32,592
Guess you have to
put your friends
390
00:16:32,626 --> 00:16:33,959
in the fuckin' barn then.
391
00:16:33,992 --> 00:16:35,159
They don't have any clothes
of their own.
392
00:16:35,192 --> 00:16:36,926
‐Okay.
‐They don't have any money.
393
00:16:36,959 --> 00:16:38,959
‐Way she goes.
‐Models are always broke.
394
00:16:38,992 --> 00:16:40,692
‐Good enough.
‐You have a baker's dozen
395
00:16:40,726 --> 00:16:42,159
plaid shirts.
They only need two.
396
00:16:44,659 --> 00:16:45,792
Give them the hand‐me‐downs
397
00:16:45,826 --> 00:16:46,926
I got from
Dan's second cousin.
398
00:16:46,959 --> 00:16:48,792
‐Who, Garrett?
‐No, Jarrett.
399
00:16:48,826 --> 00:16:50,059
‐10‐4.
‐Over and out.
400
00:16:55,026 --> 00:16:56,592
These are the
only ones that fit.
401
00:16:56,626 --> 00:16:58,992
‐'Cause we're too podgey.
‐Ugh, don't start.
402
00:16:59,026 --> 00:17:00,492
If I was a major league
baseball team
403
00:17:00,526 --> 00:17:01,992
I'd be the L. A. Podgers.
404
00:17:02,026 --> 00:17:03,592
If I was a major league
baseball pitcher
405
00:17:03,626 --> 00:17:04,926
I'd be Podger Clemens.
406
00:17:04,959 --> 00:17:06,926
If I was a pick‐up truck
I'd be a Podge Ram.
407
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:08,826
If I was a disguising
clothing pattern made for
408
00:17:08,859 --> 00:17:10,559
hunting and combat
I'd be camou‐podge.
409
00:17:10,592 --> 00:17:11,992
No, better without the shirts.
410
00:17:18,192 --> 00:17:22,459
Okay. Now, go shut
both doors and lock them.
411
00:17:38,692 --> 00:17:40,459
‐STEWART: Roald.
‐(EXCLAIMS)
412
00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:41,792
You'll need to repeat that.
413
00:17:41,826 --> 00:17:43,459
‐He's gone.
‐He's gone?
414
00:17:43,492 --> 00:17:45,992
Along with all his stuff.
415
00:17:46,026 --> 00:17:47,459
Devon is gone.
416
00:17:48,792 --> 00:17:50,692
‐Roald.
‐Dude.
417
00:17:50,726 --> 00:17:51,992
Hysterics are fruitless.
418
00:17:53,226 --> 00:17:54,559
(HIGH‐PITCHED SQUEAL)
Stewart...
419
00:17:54,592 --> 00:17:55,959
Tears are useless.
420
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:57,492
(SQUEALS) Stewart...
421
00:17:57,526 --> 00:17:58,992
Pain is inevitable.
422
00:18:00,126 --> 00:18:01,159
Where?
423
00:18:02,759 --> 00:18:03,759
Why?
424
00:18:04,859 --> 00:18:07,759
W motherfucking five!
425
00:18:07,792 --> 00:18:09,226
I don't know.
426
00:18:09,259 --> 00:18:11,459
He had everything here.
427
00:18:11,492 --> 00:18:13,692
Hours upon hours of
ultra‐competitive gaming
428
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:15,692
laced with hip‐hop karaoke.
429
00:18:15,726 --> 00:18:18,026
Add a dash of
late‐night loitering
430
00:18:18,059 --> 00:18:19,826
and a splash of
petty vandalism.
431
00:18:19,859 --> 00:18:21,059
And what have you got?
432
00:18:21,092 --> 00:18:23,026
(SQUEALS) Stewart...
433
00:18:23,059 --> 00:18:27,492
Utopia, Arcadia,
434
00:18:29,492 --> 00:18:30,826
Kingdom come!
435
00:18:32,492 --> 00:18:34,859
Devon hated petty vandalism.
436
00:18:34,892 --> 00:18:36,692
He called it two‐bit.
437
00:18:36,726 --> 00:18:39,092
Shabby. Shoestring.
438
00:18:39,126 --> 00:18:41,026
Mmm, hence the term,
"petty," Roald.
439
00:18:41,959 --> 00:18:43,692
Don't be redundant.
440
00:18:43,726 --> 00:18:44,726
But you're right,
441
00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:47,459
he did hate that.
442
00:18:49,659 --> 00:18:51,126
This was his.
443
00:18:51,159 --> 00:18:52,492
Verify.
444
00:18:54,226 --> 00:18:55,759
Yeah.
445
00:18:55,792 --> 00:18:56,992
Yes.
446
00:18:57,026 --> 00:18:58,792
You got it the summer before
447
00:18:58,826 --> 00:19:00,592
grade six at a
Sidewalk Sale Day.
448
00:19:00,626 --> 00:19:02,026
Went halfsies on it.
449
00:19:02,059 --> 00:19:03,859
Veracious. And this?
450
00:19:07,659 --> 00:19:11,826
‐Roald, substantiate!
‐Yes.
451
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:13,726
You stole it from his grandma
so you could game
452
00:19:13,759 --> 00:19:16,626
Ecco the Dolphin on Sega CD
in grade three.
453
00:19:16,659 --> 00:19:17,659
Irrefutable.
454
00:19:20,692 --> 00:19:25,726
Well, I guess he didn't take
455
00:19:25,759 --> 00:19:30,759
all of his stuff, now, did he?
456
00:19:31,826 --> 00:19:32,859
(GASPING)
457
00:19:43,692 --> 00:19:45,692
Fuck me, that was refreshing.
458
00:19:47,192 --> 00:19:48,726
Incoming!
459
00:19:48,759 --> 00:19:50,126
(YELPS IN FEAR)
460
00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:53,792
Stink bombs?
461
00:19:55,659 --> 00:19:56,659
(SCREAMING)
462
00:19:59,959 --> 00:20:00,992
Devon.
463
00:20:07,092 --> 00:20:09,259
Fuck, she looks friendly
as a couch, ain't she, boys?
464
00:20:09,292 --> 00:20:11,992
Went up faster than shit
through a goose, too.
465
00:20:12,026 --> 00:20:13,626
‐Lickety‐split.
‐Real nice of Tyson and
466
00:20:13,659 --> 00:20:14,692
Joint Boys to help us out.
467
00:20:14,726 --> 00:20:16,492
More hands make less work.
468
00:20:18,192 --> 00:20:20,026
ALL: Welp...
469
00:20:20,059 --> 00:20:21,392
Fire up the genny, Gary.
470
00:20:29,392 --> 00:20:31,192
(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
471
00:20:34,492 --> 00:20:36,659
Now test out the
motion sensor, Dan.
472
00:20:42,192 --> 00:20:44,392
‐Boss, man...
‐I appreciates this.
473
00:20:44,426 --> 00:20:45,992
Aw, it's tits.
474
00:20:46,026 --> 00:20:49,026
‐Well, there's one step left.
‐Yeah!
475
00:20:49,059 --> 00:20:50,426
‐Christen it?
‐Should we christen it?
476
00:20:50,459 --> 00:20:51,592
Well, are we
gonna christen it?
477
00:20:51,626 --> 00:20:52,992
Should we christen it?
478
00:20:53,026 --> 00:20:54,592
I feel like we should be
christening it.
479
00:20:54,626 --> 00:20:55,992
Well, I'm surprised we're not
christening it right now.
480
00:21:03,459 --> 00:21:06,259
‐Gordie Howe hat trick, ferda.
‐Game puck goes to Gordie.
481
00:21:06,292 --> 00:21:08,126
Yeah. I had 18 shots
on net, boys.
482
00:21:08,159 --> 00:21:09,326
Ovechkin numbers.
483
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:10,726
Played no less than
38 minutes.
484
00:21:10,759 --> 00:21:12,426
Duncan Keith numbers.
485
00:21:12,459 --> 00:21:15,492
But, uh, 9‐4 ferda.
486
00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:17,559
Ferda other team.
487
00:21:17,592 --> 00:21:20,026
You know, it's sick,
unreal stats.
488
00:21:20,059 --> 00:21:21,559
But, uh...
489
00:21:21,592 --> 00:21:24,026
Be nice to have
a couple of W's, too.
490
00:21:24,059 --> 00:21:25,426
Be nice to have "a" W.
491
00:21:26,526 --> 00:21:28,092
Players only meeting?
492
00:21:28,126 --> 00:21:29,459
Yeah. Coach is right,
493
00:21:29,492 --> 00:21:31,392
I mean, no W's on the season
that's just...
494
00:21:31,426 --> 00:21:34,092
‐Fucking embarrassing!
‐Coach.
495
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,126
Players only meeting.
496
00:21:36,159 --> 00:21:38,059
Oh. Well, that's embarrassing.
497
00:21:46,059 --> 00:21:47,692
Jesus.
498
00:21:47,726 --> 00:21:50,559
All right you pheasants,
what's the problem?
499
00:21:50,592 --> 00:21:51,992
Spill it, pheasys.
500
00:21:52,026 --> 00:21:54,126
My wife left me,
you little bitch!
501
00:21:54,159 --> 00:21:55,492
Feels like someone ran
a coarse glove hustle
502
00:21:55,526 --> 00:21:57,626
on my love muscle. Yorkie?
503
00:21:57,659 --> 00:21:59,292
Same, Barts.
Feels like someone
504
00:21:59,326 --> 00:22:02,026
fork‐gored my
pork sword. Scholtzy?
505
00:22:02,059 --> 00:22:03,626
She's gone.
506
00:22:03,659 --> 00:22:05,426
Feels like someone took
a big snackers on
507
00:22:05,459 --> 00:22:08,659
my little knackers.
Pussy. Fisky.
508
00:22:09,526 --> 00:22:11,259
Out the door.
509
00:22:11,292 --> 00:22:12,626
Feels like someone slammed
a super soccer kick into my
510
00:22:12,659 --> 00:22:15,359
Ron‐Donny long schlong.
Boomtown!
511
00:22:15,392 --> 00:22:17,392
I'm an only child,
512
00:22:17,426 --> 00:22:21,159
as Coach previously and
pitilessly pointed out.
513
00:22:21,192 --> 00:22:24,726
I'd kill for a little
Natiesha, Tamsyn, Tay'Rhonda,
514
00:22:24,759 --> 00:22:28,092
DeSondra,
LarawnShawn, in my life.
515
00:22:28,126 --> 00:22:32,159
But someone did steal my last
NASCAR Daytona Oreo!
516
00:22:32,192 --> 00:22:34,159
That wasn't funny!
517
00:22:34,192 --> 00:22:37,159
But, you all love your wives.
518
00:22:37,192 --> 00:22:38,926
‐What happened, boys?
‐(DOOR OPENS)
519
00:22:41,059 --> 00:22:43,026
‐BOTH: Angie?
‐Boys.
520
00:22:43,059 --> 00:22:44,559
Unreal game.
521
00:22:44,592 --> 00:22:47,559
Who wants to
take me out for a sando?
522
00:22:47,592 --> 00:22:49,059
I'll let you work it out.
523
00:22:52,059 --> 00:22:53,192
BOTH: Angie?
524
00:22:53,226 --> 00:22:55,392
That's my girl,
you little bitch.
525
00:22:55,426 --> 00:22:57,526
She makes me want to rub
slick on my disco stick.
526
00:22:57,559 --> 00:22:58,692
Yorkie?
527
00:22:58,726 --> 00:23:00,326
Correction, Barts. She's mine.
528
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:01,526
She makes me wanna go
Warcraft
529
00:23:01,559 --> 00:23:04,126
all over my man shaft.
Scholtzy.
530
00:23:04,159 --> 00:23:05,726
Mine.
531
00:23:05,759 --> 00:23:09,026
She makes me wanna take a
low fiver to my deep‐V diver.
532
00:23:09,059 --> 00:23:11,426
Pussy. Fisky?
533
00:23:11,459 --> 00:23:13,259
Uh‐uh. She's mine.
534
00:23:13,292 --> 00:23:15,959
She makes me wanna take a
fresh fruit to my flesh flute.
535
00:23:15,992 --> 00:23:17,159
Boomtown!
536
00:23:17,192 --> 00:23:19,059
You all have sisters.
537
00:23:20,159 --> 00:23:21,326
I hope you're kind to them.
538
00:23:22,659 --> 00:23:24,326
I hope you cherish them.
539
00:23:25,459 --> 00:23:27,059
This one's mine!
540
00:23:27,692 --> 00:23:28,692
(GRUNTING)
541
00:23:30,192 --> 00:23:31,426
This is bad, buddy.
542
00:23:31,459 --> 00:23:33,459
This is really bad, buddy.
543
00:23:33,492 --> 00:23:35,459
I think we've got...
544
00:23:35,492 --> 00:23:36,592
BOTH: A puck bunny.
545
00:23:51,592 --> 00:23:52,959
DAN: It looks darker
out here
546
00:23:52,992 --> 00:23:54,192
than the inside of
a fuel tank.
547
00:23:54,226 --> 00:23:55,426
Head towards
the sensor light, Dan.
548
00:24:01,726 --> 00:24:03,992
I don't appreciates this.
549
00:24:04,026 --> 00:24:07,559
Well, how we
gonna fuck this pig?
550
00:24:07,592 --> 00:24:09,459
We find who did it.
551
00:24:11,659 --> 00:24:13,259
And we beat the
shit out of them.39564
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