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1
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:13,680
A couple hockey players
come up to the produce stand
the other day...
2
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,616
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO)
3
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:24,390
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
KATY: Bye!
4
00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:27,260
Can't believe
your sister's still dating
these nut sacks.
5
00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:28,629
Wayne.
How're you now?
6
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:29,730
KATY: Good and you?
Not so bad.
7
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,097
Hi, Katy.
Go home, Daryl.
8
00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,836
Nice onesie.
Does it come in men's?
9
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,071
Oh, I think you cum
in men enough for all of us.
10
00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:39,072
I think you better
come in my...
11
00:00:40,173 --> 00:00:41,542
I mean,
you better come...
12
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:44,377
I think you better come say
that to his face,
you fucking hicks!
13
00:00:44,410 --> 00:00:46,346
Nice execution.
You're doin' terrific.
14
00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:48,314
Hey, I heard about
your break‐up, buddy.
15
00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:50,283
She was your sweetie
for five years, right?
16
00:00:50,316 --> 00:00:52,218
Your high school
sweetie, right?
17
00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:54,120
What's it to ya?
Heard she cheated
on you, buddy.
18
00:00:54,154 --> 00:00:55,355
That's a real kick
in the knackers, bro.
19
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:57,157
Just a real ouchie, bro.
20
00:00:57,190 --> 00:00:59,292
It's too bad she taught you
not to fight anymore, buddy.
21
00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:01,461
'Cause that's a fight
on sight for you and
her new guy, buddy.
22
00:01:01,494 --> 00:01:03,530
Fourth line
for life, bro.
23
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:06,132
Maybe, if you'd ever been
in a real fight, you might not
be so keen for another.
24
00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:06,767
What did you say?
25
00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:09,135
You heard me.
26
00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:10,504
Hold my spitter.
27
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:12,806
Darts off, boys.
28
00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:14,374
You looking for
a tilly, buddy?
29
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,409
Let's have a donnybrook.
DARYL: Pump the brakes.
30
00:01:16,442 --> 00:01:18,278
You take your shirt off,
but leave your sunglasses on?
31
00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:20,647
What sort of backwards fuckin'
pageantry is that?
32
00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:22,583
Do you want to fight
with those shades or play
pokerstars.com?
33
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,384
Hold my spitter.
34
00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:25,852
Dude, I can't hold
your spitter.
You're holding
my spitter.
35
00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:27,487
Just put the
spitters down.
Tick‐tock.
36
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,294
Go time!
Go time!
37
00:01:34,327 --> 00:01:36,229
Look at that fuckin'
treasure trail.
38
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,264
WAYNE: What's up with your
fuckin' body hair, big shoots.
39
00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:40,166
You look like a
12‐year‐old Dutch girl.
40
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,135
Your aesthetician quaff
that for you?
41
00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:43,403
DARYL: You can kiss
my ass‐thetician.
42
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,872
You guys do cross fit?
You can cross‐fuck‐off.
43
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:48,441
Cross fart. How many times
you pulled your
horn today, bud?
44
00:01:48,474 --> 00:01:49,710
What?
Oh, she's bashful.
45
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,311
Oh, come on, kitten.
I won't tell anyone.
46
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:53,547
Ball park six to eight?
47
00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:55,749
You're a fucking animal.
Play a little five on one.
48
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,584
WAYNE: Hit the kitchen,
mix a batch.
DARYL: Feed the ducks.
49
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,152
Distribute some
free literature.
50
00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:00,486
Go time!
51
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,255
Fuckin'... Shed 'em!
52
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:04,858
Riley! Jonesy! Put your
fuckin' shirts on!
Get outta here!
53
00:02:06,492 --> 00:02:09,195
BOTH: This isn't over!
Jinx. You owe me a Coke.
54
00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:10,531
Never buy you a Coke.
55
00:02:16,402 --> 00:02:18,905
It's a hard life pickin'
stones and pullin' teats
56
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:22,709
but sure as God's got sandals
it beats fightin' dudes
with treasure trails.
57
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,745
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
58
00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:34,788
Hi, Katy.
59
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,623
We're out of yogurt.
60
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,358
I brought some from home.
61
00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:39,726
KATY: So why didn't you
stay there and eat it.
62
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,494
Mornin' Dary.
Mornin'.
63
00:02:44,397 --> 00:02:45,766
WAYNE: Thank you.
Welcome.
64
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:47,701
So, you talked to Angie yet?
65
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,970
It's been almost a month now.
Think you need to get
back on the horse.
66
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,606
She stepped out on you.
Can't go back to that
and get any respect.
67
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:53,807
Not in Letterkenny.
68
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,408
Wayne, Angie did
you a lot of good.
69
00:02:55,441 --> 00:02:57,243
Somewhere along the way
you kinda got soft.
70
00:02:57,277 --> 00:02:58,679
You're not even
fighting anymore.
71
00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,514
You know what you need?
Sex. With a girl.
72
00:03:00,547 --> 00:03:02,549
Not just any girl.
A good Christian girl.
73
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:03,817
I think I can help you.
74
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,852
I've been going to the Burning
Bush Youth Group every Sunday.
75
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:07,253
I think you should
come with me.
76
00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:08,755
I think you should
just eat your yogurt.
77
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:09,856
There's millions
of starving kids
in the world.
78
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:10,891
Yeah? Name ten.
79
00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:22,603
(SIGHS)
80
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:23,870
You need a distraction.
81
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,672
Something fun.
Look at this.
82
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:30,977
It's called Tinder.
83
00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:33,346
Look, see there's all
these girls and if you
don't like one,
84
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:35,315
you just say nope
and move onto the next.
85
00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:38,619
But if you do like one,
then you can see how
close they are
86
00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:39,986
and I don't know,
maybe meet up
87
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,487
or whatever.
88
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:44,357
So if you like 'em you just
type 'em out a message
or what's the scoop?
89
00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:47,794
Yeah. You just, you know,
say something like...
90
00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:53,967
Like, "On a scale of one
to America, how free
are you right now?"
91
00:03:58,605 --> 00:04:00,674
Oh, Jesus!
Look at these nut sacks.
92
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,476
Why do you hate them so much?
93
00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:05,612
'Cause hockey players
would grab a monkey
by the tit if they could.
94
00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:08,582
Smokes are for jokes, bud!
95
00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:10,450
Put it out before
it puts you out, bud!
96
00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:11,718
(CHUCKLES)
Trash the ash, pal!
97
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:18,424
Ouch! Put it out! Put it out!
98
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:20,360
Put it out! Put it out!
99
00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,730
Tell the fish hook
story, Dan.
100
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,566
It's really more
of a Wayne story.
101
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:26,533
Yeah, but he
won't tell it.
102
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,769
Oh, you've heard it
a baker's dozen times.
103
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,403
Tell the story
or he won't shut up.
104
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,005
DAN: Is there anymore
trail mix?
105
00:04:32,038 --> 00:04:33,006
It's in the house.
106
00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:35,509
Yous makes the most delicious
trail mix, Katy,
107
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:38,478
and I got to say that's what
I appreciates about you.
108
00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:39,980
Is that what you
appreciate about me?
109
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:41,782
Pitter‐patter, squirrely Dan.
110
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,950
So, as the story goes,
111
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:46,086
Wayne hucks an egg at a truck
with a Confederate flag
112
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,688
in the back windshield
113
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,055
and the driver's
fumin' pissed.
114
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:52,492
So, we flee the scene
goin' full tilt like
a Peterbilt, right?
115
00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:55,762
Now, The Federales catch up
to us and chase us
through a few backyards
116
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,931
before we scamper up
into some trees
117
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,867
and all Wayne's got on
is a pair of
cut‐off jean shorts
118
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:03,870
so he ain't exactly
super jazzed about the
situation, was you Wayne?
119
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,672
Oh, I'm no DJ Jazzy Jeff.
120
00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,273
The Federale
pulls out his Taser,
121
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:11,745
and he points it up at Wayne
and says some real
Clint Eastwood‐sounding shit.
122
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:13,213
He says to Wayne, he says,
123
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:17,350
"If I'd known I was going to
run into some uptown
street toughs today,
124
00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:19,052
"I'd have done up
my top button."
125
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:20,987
(CHUCKLES) That's from
a John Wayne motion picture.
126
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:21,922
No, Cool Hand Luke.
127
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:24,090
Pert near anything
Kevin Costner, really.
128
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:27,928
Either way, I's impressed
and I'd let out
an audible gasp
129
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:32,065
so he hears me, spins around,
aims the Taser up at me
and lets fire,
130
00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:34,635
and if that thing doesn't
latch onto my nipple ring,
131
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,870
which I'm pretty sure
amplified the
electric current,
132
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:38,672
he sent coursing through
my entire body.
133
00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:41,007
And they just walked over
and yanked that thing
out of my nipple
134
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,809
like it was a goddamn
fish hook.
135
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,511
At least that's
according to my cousin.
136
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:45,946
Well, you know,
my second cousin.
137
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:47,881
Who, Garrett?
No, Jarrett.
138
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,583
Huh...
I cried.
139
00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:50,951
I'm not even ashamed
to admit that.
140
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:52,919
(BURPS)
141
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,755
That was well brought up.
Too bad you weren't.
142
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:55,822
I should say.
143
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,625
Thirsty Thursdays, boys.
144
00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:00,861
Might as well get balls
deep in a bottle of
Gus'n Bru tonight.
145
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,699
It's a four leaf clover.
Make a wish.
146
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,668
Wish you weren't so
fucking awkward, bud.
147
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:08,702
(BLOWS)
148
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,103
(BURPS)
149
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,009
KATY: Is Angie working?
150
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,143
DARYL: Better have
a peek‐see, Wayne.
151
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:24,618
GAIL: How are yous?
WAYNE: Not too bad.
152
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:27,554
Good. And you?
Not too bad.
153
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,823
Smells like someone's
in their barn clothes.
154
00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:32,492
It's Dary.
Four shots of Gus'n Bru,
please and thank you,
155
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:33,694
One for you, too,
Gailor.
156
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,962
Thank you, Wayne,
but I'm off the sauce.
157
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:38,464
Taking eight vitamins
a day now.
158
00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:40,834
What are you taking?
I'm taking multi‐vitamin,
159
00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:43,837
fish oil, vitamin C,
vitamin D,
160
00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:46,907
two vitamin B complexes
and two Cold‐FX's.
161
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,509
Yeah, but 'cept
how many darts though?
162
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,610
Twenty, 25 darts.
163
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:50,844
Oh, you got
'er down then?
164
00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:52,012
Last I seen ya,
you were on a pack
and a half of smokes.
165
00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:53,980
Well, sometimes,
I'll have a pack
and a half of smokes,
166
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,181
but never more than
two packs of smokes.
167
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:56,783
Good enough.
168
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,187
All right. Won't be rude.
169
00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:04,525
I'd hang a piss.
170
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:06,026
Oh, fuck.
171
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,094
I'm about to give birth
to a pound of fudge.
172
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,498
(TRICKLING)
173
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:14,868
Wayne.
174
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:15,902
McMurray.
How're ya now?
175
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,504
Good 'n you?
Not so bad.
176
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:20,607
Seen Angie, with
her new dude?
What a fuckin' dandy.
177
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:23,644
Yeah. He's got
fugazi‐diamonds
in both ears
178
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:25,011
and leprechaun
buckles on his shoes.
179
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:27,781
Running a fuckin'
Dippity‐Doo convention
upstairs for a salad.
180
00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:30,917
Driving a '94 Jeep YJ
with a wave decal on the side.
181
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,919
Enough cologne to offend
a Bangkok lady boy.
182
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,020
Good enough.
183
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,188
Do you want to hear
the best part?
184
00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:37,090
You really wanna
hear the best part.
185
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,892
Okay.
He went full Bieber eyes.
186
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:41,461
What?
Bieber eyes.
187
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:44,565
Wayne.
188
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:48,869
Wayne. Wayne, look.
189
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,270
It's inappropriate,
McMurray.
190
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,573
Wayne, just look
for fuck's sake.
191
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:53,607
Just fuckin' look, Wayne.
192
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:57,978
Full Bieber eyes.
What's that?
193
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:01,147
Bieber. The pop star.
194
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,949
I'm not familiar
with his work.
(DOOR OPENING)
195
00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:10,524
This must be where
the dicks hang out, eh?
196
00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:11,892
Our dicks hang out.
197
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,927
Yours is like a mushroom
in a corn field.
198
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,061
Mind your fuckin'
business, Alexander.
199
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:20,634
Seen Angie with her new dude?
What a fuckin' dandy.
200
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,302
Eyes on your own
work there, super chief.
201
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,904
(ALEXANDER LAUGHING)
(DOOR OPENS)
202
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:32,546
Thank Christ, Wayne,
I'm pushing clobs here.
203
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:35,916
Get outta the way,
I'm growing a tail.
204
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:38,552
Wayne, I would like
to cordially invite you to
the Burning Bush Youth Group
205
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:40,654
this Sunday, for an
evening of song and praise.
206
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:43,690
Hard no.
My sweetie, Margaret,
is a first class gal.
207
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,592
She's got some friends
she can introduce you to.
208
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:48,629
Margaret? Sounds like
a biddy old blue‐hair'd.
209
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:52,899
She's not. She's a very
focused young woman on the
path to eternity with Christ.
210
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,868
And which part
of that appeals to you?
211
00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:58,972
I like singing the songs.
KATY: Sort yourself out.
212
00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:03,209
You're a pervert, Daryl.
213
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,779
Jesus, your breath could stop
a Mack truck right now.
214
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:06,947
All right, cool it.
215
00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:10,717
What say, we go for
a quick ice run, Wayne?
216
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:13,086
I'm pushing up on you
for years now.
217
00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:15,822
What's say you give
old Gailor one for
the scrapbook?
218
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:16,890
Huh?
219
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,831
I'll do the Youth Group.
220
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,232
All right.
221
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:29,269
DAN: Gail, looks like the
John's allergic to fudge.
222
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:31,337
DAN: Bring the plunger,
we may have
to break this one up.
223
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:33,840
Told you to flush
as you go. Fuck.
224
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:36,009
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)
225
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,627
(BAND TUNING)
226
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,067
(INAUDIBLE)
227
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,972
Hi, Daryl.
Christ be with you.
228
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,041
Margaret.
229
00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:10,010
And you must be Wayne.
Mmm‐hmm.
230
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,012
Christ be with you, Wayne.
Hello.
231
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:13,847
How are yous?
232
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,115
Oh, not s'bad.
Good 'n you?
233
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,249
Perfect.
234
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,686
You made a good choice
coming here, tonight.
235
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,054
Yeah? Why is that?
236
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:25,058
Hold your finger here
for as long as you can.
237
00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:26,727
What for...
238
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,800
All right.
Now imagine,
239
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:35,836
your soul engulfed
in that for all of eternity.
240
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:37,137
Okay.
241
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,276
God is good.
242
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,377
That's how they get you.
243
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:48,414
Wayne's been going through
a bit of a rough break up,
244
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,316
and I thought a night
at the Burning Bush
might help him out.
245
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,085
Plus, it's better
than spending
all his time on Tinder.
246
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,421
Tinder?
247
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,891
Did you know that
it was originally
called Grindr
248
00:10:57,924 --> 00:10:59,826
and that it was made
for gay men to sodomize
each other?
249
00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:04,164
No.
Yeah.
250
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:05,331
Good way to get
a finger in your bum.
251
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:07,734
Or a tongue in your bum.
252
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,136
Do you know
what Dick Dingers are?
253
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:13,073
No.
254
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:15,809
It's when they snort drugs
off of each other's
erect penises.
255
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,744
That have just
been in bums.
256
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:20,947
Oh, my gourd!
Look at this turnout.
257
00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:22,015
Hi, everybody.
258
00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:23,917
(CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
259
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:25,185
Quick question for all y'all.
260
00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,788
How good is God?
261
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:30,123
(CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
262
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:33,159
I know, I know,
I love him.
He's the best.
263
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,861
There's almost no one
I like more.
264
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,763
Second question,
has anyone seen...
265
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,832
Where is my beautiful
girlfriend, Virginia?
266
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,366
Ginny, where are you?
267
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,368
GLEN: There she is,
Ginny, come on up here.
Come up, Ginny.
268
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:46,006
(CLAPS)
Oh, ugh, Ginny.
269
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,074
Ginny, Ginny,
Ginny. Hmm.
270
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:51,177
I still remember,
like it was yesterday,
271
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,446
the day that the Lord
gave you to me.
272
00:11:53,479 --> 00:11:56,049
And he said, "Glen,
273
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:59,853
"this is your blank canvas,
it is pale.
274
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,888
"It is colorless,
it is almost cardboard‐like.
275
00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:03,990
"I want you
276
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:06,860
"to give it life,
to give it color."
277
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:07,794
And so I said to the Lord,
278
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,996
"I will give it everything,
everything.
279
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,799
"Except for one thing."
280
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,035
(AUDIENCE CHATTERING)
What was that question?
Uh, hmm?
281
00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:17,303
Vaginal intercourse!
282
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:18,171
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
283
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:22,408
GLEN:
Guess what, boys and girls?
284
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:25,812
You're in for somethin'
special, 'cause we got
The Salty Treats.
285
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,180
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
286
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,817
(ROCK SONG PLAYING)
287
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:37,991
What the actual fuck
is this place?
288
00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:39,860
Why can't you just
enjoy yourself?
289
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:41,061
It's 'cause I get onto
this Tinder thing,
290
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:44,164
and now they tell me
it's for finding dudes.
291
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,266
But that's some
bullshit, right?
292
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,134
I don't know.
You want some
strawberry lemonade?
293
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:51,471
I haven't seen this sort
of fuckin' bedlam since
we fired Roman Candles
294
00:12:51,505 --> 00:12:55,208
at coyotes that night
and caught one right
in the butt hole, fuck.
295
00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:58,211
Ran up the back porch,
dropped seven shades of shit
in Dad's work boots.
296
00:12:58,244 --> 00:12:59,846
Could have been a wolf.
There's wolf's in
the back bush.
297
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,181
There's for sure mooses.
298
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,849
Have a dart.
Yeah, I'd have a dart.
299
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,019
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
300
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:19,533
Oh, fuckin' Grindr.
301
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,968
Grindr?
302
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,369
(GROWLING) Grindr.
What?
303
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:24,738
Pray tell, what are you doing
on Grindr, Wayne?
304
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:27,941
What are you skids
doing out of your parents'
basement, Stewart?
305
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,109
The gang and I have been
doing hip‐hop karaoke
306
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,044
for the better part
of 48 hours.
Out on the decks.
307
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:32,979
Ones and twos.
The entire 48.
308
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:34,080
Subsequently spittin'
hot fire. (EXHALES)
309
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:35,849
Playing Mega‐Man
and Final Fantasy
on original NES.
310
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:37,183
Pokémon Gold,
on GameBoy Color.
311
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,985
Gotta catch 'em all.
Bulbasaur, Ivysaur, Venusaur,
312
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:40,621
Charmeleon, Charizard,
fuckin' Charmander.
313
00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:41,922
Fuckin' Charmander.
314
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:45,291
WAYNE: Time to take
about 20% off on the
meth intake, boys
315
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,993
STEWART: Ever played
Dr. Mario on Super NES?
316
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:49,395
(EXCLAIMS) Game is full
of subliminal messages.
317
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:51,097
Hunter S. Thompson would
have had a field day.
318
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:53,299
Hunter S.? Charles Bukowski.
319
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,969
Oh, yes, Chuck Bukowski.
That's a better
one, Stewart.
320
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,170
STEWART: Ever played Aladdin
on original Sega G?
321
00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:58,505
Coffee? Tea? Sega?
322
00:13:58,539 --> 00:14:00,306
Lion King was
far ahead of its time.
323
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,108
Makes you think far
beyond your years.
324
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:03,343
Disney games prevail!
325
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,345
You got any weed?
326
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:08,181
I always regret coming
to the surface with you,
day‐walking hicks.
327
00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:10,183
The minutiae of your world.
328
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:12,886
My basement resembles
an island Xanadu,
in comparison.
329
00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:14,087
Okay.
Ah, but some quick math
330
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,356
tells me this time, however,
331
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:19,159
you've been so agonized
by a woman you're now seeking
the company of men.
332
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,561
(GIGGLES)
333
00:14:20,594 --> 00:14:22,062
Oh, okay.
We've all thought about it.
334
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:24,264
Well, good on you
for doubling down.
335
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,667
Although, I didn't
peg you for
a pipe fitter, Wayne.
336
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,502
(GROWLING) Pegged!
337
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,870
Five years with Angie,
we figured you were
a concrete clam slammer.
338
00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:32,038
Why drink from the furry cup
when the garden hose
is right there?
339
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:33,039
Who knew he liked
the chutney ferret, eh fellas?
340
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:34,608
(ALL LAUGHING)
341
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:36,610
Fuckin' what?
342
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:38,178
Knob jockey.
Back door bandit.
343
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,580
I'm gay, but donut puncher!
344
00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:41,081
(CHUCKLES)
345
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,249
Just gimme my phone.
Oh, yeah, sure thing.
346
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:44,518
Oklahomo.
Rear admiral.
347
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,486
Uphill gardener.
(LAUGHING) Bum bumper.
348
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,288
This is awkward for me,
you guys.
349
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:49,690
Hey, it's okay.
350
00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:52,458
We know, and we
support you. (GRUNTS)
351
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,194
All right.
Donald Trump of rump!
352
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,495
(ALL LAUGHING)
353
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,966
Phone.
Okay.
354
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,002
But only because
you have this weird...
355
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,539
Menergy...
(IN FALSETTO) Menergy!
356
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:08,108
About you.
(MOANS) Sorry.
357
00:15:11,512 --> 00:15:13,580
That's a great name for a spa.
(GROWLS)
358
00:15:13,614 --> 00:15:15,549
(PLAYING DIDGERIDOO)
359
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,527
(CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
360
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,662
Oh, stop it.
You know I love ripping didge.
361
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:58,158
If you don't change
your attitude you're gonna
lose out on all the girls.
362
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:01,127
Like the 12‐year‐olds
or the 13‐year‐olds?
363
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:03,063
DARYL: Well, have you noticed
all the well‐groomed
dudes here?
364
00:16:04,598 --> 00:16:06,232
MARGARET: You missed
the best part.
365
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,468
Glen just did
his didgeridoo solo.
366
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:11,337
Well, that's pretty much it.
367
00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:12,673
You guys wanna get
some milk shakes?
368
00:16:12,706 --> 00:16:14,407
I think Modeans
is open.
Boy, howdy.
369
00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:17,243
Well, well, well...
370
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:20,781
Daryl, girl,
Wayne.
371
00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:24,017
Bit surprised to see you here,
I'm being honest.
372
00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:26,252
Didn't realize you were
big fan of the didge.
373
00:16:28,522 --> 00:16:30,624
Aw. More of
a didgere‐don't?
374
00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:33,994
(HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING)
375
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:42,335
(GIGGLES)
376
00:16:42,368 --> 00:16:44,070
What do you do
with the fertile, Wayne?
377
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:46,339
Didn't I just catch
you cruisin' Grindr?
378
00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:48,208
Come again?
379
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:49,510
Hey, shouldn't
you boys be watching
Friday Night Lights
380
00:16:49,543 --> 00:16:50,677
with a gym sock
on your joy stick?
381
00:16:50,711 --> 00:16:52,112
Chirp Tim Riggins.
I fuckin' dare you.
382
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:54,748
Mix in a little One Tree Hill
and maybe some Gossip Girl.
383
00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:57,317
But I think we've got
bigger fish to fry right here.
384
00:16:57,350 --> 00:17:00,153
Looking for love
over the rainbow now,
are we Dorothy?
385
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,622
I hate you,
386
00:17:01,655 --> 00:17:03,489
but can confirm
deer season's over.
387
00:17:03,524 --> 00:17:05,158
He's hunting bear now.
388
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:06,693
(GROWLING)
(LAUGHING)
389
00:17:06,727 --> 00:17:10,163
I fuckin' hate you too.
However, fuckin' hate
him more.
390
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,699
And I just found out
he's ambidextrous.
391
00:17:12,733 --> 00:17:13,567
What are they talking
about, Wayne?
392
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:14,668
RILEY: He likes dicks now.
393
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,436
In his bum.
Or his mouth.
394
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:17,504
RILEY: All over.
395
00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:19,339
WOMAN: Oh, my God.
That's Angie's new boyfriend?
396
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,507
DARYL:
Oh, that's that city boy.
397
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,810
(IMITATING TRAIN HONK)
398
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:26,747
What a skirt.
399
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:28,281
(CHUCKLES)
What a shit.
400
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:36,089
Fuck, Lemony Snicket,
what a series
of unfortunate events
401
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:37,691
you fuckin' been through,
you ugly fuck.
402
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,459
Boulevard of Broken Dreams.
403
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:42,529
RILEY: Fuck you, Stewart.
Hey, fuck you...
404
00:17:42,563 --> 00:17:43,597
MAN: Yeah, fuck yourself.
405
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:54,675
(HORN HONKING)
406
00:18:05,652 --> 00:18:07,153
(PHONE BEEPS)
407
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:08,822
You must be having
a fun night.
408
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:12,292
"Ur bro is gay.
409
00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:14,795
"LMFAO." In all caps,
from Riley.
410
00:18:17,798 --> 00:18:21,467
Wayne? You remember
when you were 19,
411
00:18:21,502 --> 00:18:24,771
those worm pickers kept coming
in the night and trampling
on our beans?
412
00:18:24,805 --> 00:18:26,540
What did you do?
413
00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:28,809
Dug six foot holes,
put a skunk in each one
414
00:18:28,842 --> 00:18:31,144
and waited for them
to fall in.
415
00:18:31,177 --> 00:18:35,348
Remember when the skids
egged Daryl on his bike?
What did you do?
416
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:38,218
Put some stink bombs
in a Nerf gun and fired it
at them on prom night.
417
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,888
Remember when you came
in from chorin' and found
those messages
418
00:18:41,922 --> 00:18:44,257
on my computer from a guy
calling me a slut?
419
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,527
I wanted a piece
of that guy for a long time.
420
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,462
You drove over to his house
and broke his nose
on his front lawn.
421
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:54,935
You know, I miss that Wayne.
422
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:56,236
I think a lot
of people do.
423
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:57,403
It's for the better.
424
00:19:01,642 --> 00:19:02,876
(HUMMING)
425
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,550
(GRUNTING AND MUMBLING)
426
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:23,564
This is Sparta!
427
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:27,901
(TROY LAUGHING)
428
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:36,209
Ow! Fuck!
429
00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:39,279
What the hell are you doing?
I'd ask you the same thing,
you fuckin' tit.
430
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:42,348
I'm taping an idiot.
I'm not sneaking up on dudes
and starting fights.
431
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:44,217
I'm not fightin' ya.
I'm smackin' ya.
432
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:47,721
Oh, that's right.
You don't fight
anymore, do you?
433
00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:50,857
I figured I'd have one
on deck for sure
after I stole your girl.
434
00:19:52,793 --> 00:19:54,394
Nothin', eh?
435
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:56,396
No move?
436
00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:58,632
She must've trained you well.
437
00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:01,467
So what's it gonna take
to get you back
on the horse there, champ?
438
00:20:01,502 --> 00:20:03,737
Do I go inside and spread
Angie right out on the bar
when she gets here?
439
00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:07,541
I've fucked your girl
more times than you've
had a hot meal.
440
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:10,476
Maybe your sister
wants to join us.
441
00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:13,880
It's Katy, right?
Shit.
442
00:20:13,914 --> 00:20:15,749
Why don't I go over
there and ask her myself?
443
00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:16,717
(GRUNTS IN PAIN)
444
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:18,619
(GROANS)
445
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:27,460
Pull your pants up,
Alexander.
446
00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:35,902
You've come this far.
447
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:42,576
(BOTTLE SHATTERS)
448
00:21:13,974 --> 00:21:14,975
(WHIMPERS)
449
00:21:15,576 --> 00:21:17,010
(SPITS)
450
00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:18,645
Welcome to fuckin'
Letterkenny.
451
00:21:46,573 --> 00:21:47,574
Good to have you back,
big brother.
452
00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:51,077
Hi, Katy
KATY: Go home, Daryl.
453
00:21:51,111 --> 00:21:52,445
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
454
00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:54,380
(ENGINE REVVING)
455
00:21:55,882 --> 00:21:57,383
JONESY: Bye, Wayne.
Have a good one bro.
RILEY: Bye, Wayne.
456
00:21:57,417 --> 00:21:59,452
RILEY: See you later, buddy.
457
00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:01,622
♪ Pigeon Hole, like a wild wolf
pack ♪
458
00:22:01,655 --> 00:22:04,591
♪ Ch‐ch‐ch, bom‐bom‐bom! We
'bout to pull back ♪
459
00:22:04,625 --> 00:22:07,393
♪ Let it out, let it loose,
light years ahead of you ♪
460
00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:11,932
♪ Quick, run, scatter for the
hills is what you better do ♪
461
00:22:11,965 --> 00:22:14,868
♪ That's what you better do ♪
462
00:22:14,901 --> 00:22:22,008
♪ That's what you better do ♪
463
00:22:22,042 --> 00:22:24,911
♪ Straight out the motherfuckin
back water boondocks ♪
464
00:22:24,945 --> 00:22:27,781
♪ Somethin' brand new to go sla
on the jukebox ♪
465
00:22:27,814 --> 00:22:30,751
♪ Slim Jim, been around the
clock 'til the wig split ♪
466
00:22:30,784 --> 00:22:33,720
♪ Heat up the soup pot and mop
up the pig shit ♪
467
00:22:33,754 --> 00:22:36,657
♪ Yeah, uh, Pigeon Hole, step
back ♪
468
00:22:36,690 --> 00:22:39,693
♪ Too high for 'em, I am on my
jet pack ♪
469
00:22:39,726 --> 00:22:42,529
♪ I am on that future grind,
sorry for the setback ♪
470
00:22:42,563 --> 00:22:45,498
♪ People need to clean it up,
people need a wet nap ♪
471
00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:48,434
♪ Fuck that, I keep it sand
paper rugged ♪
472
00:22:48,468 --> 00:22:51,071
♪ Sand paper rugged, sand‐sand
paper rugged ♪36287
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