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1
00:00:17,474 --> 00:00:20,529
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
2
00:00:44,584 --> 00:00:48,373
Miss Stoker, pleasure to see you again.
3
00:00:48,375 --> 00:00:49,208
I'm sure.
4
00:00:50,166 --> 00:00:51,166
Who's your friend?
5
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:55,998
My name is Xavier, Miss Stoker.
6
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:59,081
I led the team that found the book.
7
00:00:59,083 --> 00:00:59,958
Call me Monica.
8
00:01:00,958 --> 00:01:01,916
My apologies.
9
00:01:03,709 --> 00:01:05,166
What happened to your hand?
10
00:01:07,041 --> 00:01:09,415
Er, well, it's, it's...
11
00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:10,250
Complicated?
12
00:01:12,292 --> 00:01:14,373
Highly abnormal.
13
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:18,542
The book is not meant to
be touched by mortal man.
14
00:01:20,584 --> 00:01:22,623
Well, let's see it then.
15
00:01:33,584 --> 00:01:34,875
Miss Stoker, I wouldn't.
16
00:01:41,792 --> 00:01:43,208
It's beautiful.
17
00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:58,250
Happy?
18
00:01:59,166 --> 00:02:00,000
Very.
19
00:02:02,458 --> 00:02:04,375
The scarabs as we discussed.
20
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,540
My word is my bond.
21
00:02:07,542 --> 00:02:08,375
Kayla.
22
00:02:53,208 --> 00:02:54,792
You're lucky you're not my type.
23
00:03:33,292 --> 00:03:34,832
Super Hot Pizza.
24
00:03:34,834 --> 00:03:35,667
You're late.
25
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:38,914
I'm sorry.
26
00:03:38,916 --> 00:03:40,331
I ordered 40 minutes ago,
27
00:03:40,333 --> 00:03:41,873
and if it's 30 minutes or longer,
28
00:03:41,875 --> 00:03:43,916
I actually get the pizza for free.
29
00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:48,164
That's actually not our policy.
30
00:03:48,166 --> 00:03:49,790
You might be thinking of Dominoes,
31
00:03:49,792 --> 00:03:52,206
they're right next to us.
32
00:03:52,208 --> 00:03:53,250
Well, I'm not paying.
33
00:03:54,125 --> 00:03:56,081
Well, I'm not giving you a pizza.
34
00:03:56,083 --> 00:03:58,875
I'll review on Yelp and I
can put you out of business.
35
00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:01,956
You know what would really
put us out of business
36
00:04:01,958 --> 00:04:05,041
would be giving away,
like, free pizza, so.
37
00:05:02,625 --> 00:05:05,458
- Nice hat, Jackie.
- What a loser.
38
00:05:35,834 --> 00:05:37,584
It's been a pleasure, my friends,
39
00:05:38,542 --> 00:05:42,582
but this, this is
officially my last delivery,
40
00:05:42,584 --> 00:05:44,623
this here Super Hot pizza.
41
00:05:44,625 --> 00:05:46,750
What do you want, a fuckin' parade?
42
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:51,164
I'll miss you too, Ed.
43
00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:54,542
Turn in your uniform and
get the hell out of my life.
44
00:05:57,709 --> 00:05:58,542
Love you too.
45
00:06:00,584 --> 00:06:02,623
No more employee discounts either.
46
00:06:02,625 --> 00:06:04,834
This is a restaurant, not a pension.
47
00:06:09,292 --> 00:06:11,081
Hey, Jackie.
48
00:06:11,083 --> 00:06:12,248
Hey, Carl.
49
00:06:12,250 --> 00:06:15,081
Hey, so you're not going
to college this year, right?
50
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,707
No, I'm taking a gap.
51
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,623
Okay, well, I have
this business opportunity
52
00:06:18,625 --> 00:06:20,208
that you might be interested in.
53
00:06:21,041 --> 00:06:23,000
You smoke weed, right?
54
00:06:24,458 --> 00:06:25,914
No.
55
00:06:25,916 --> 00:06:28,333
Have you ever thought
about selling it before?
56
00:06:35,333 --> 00:06:36,166
Bye, Carl.
57
00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:40,956
Hey, you don't want to
keep these as a souvenir?
58
00:06:40,958 --> 00:06:42,834
No, I am good.
59
00:06:44,208 --> 00:06:45,208
Okay, bye Jackie.
60
00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:57,331
I'm free.
61
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,623
Yes!
62
00:07:12,417 --> 00:07:15,873
What if, what if Avengers
was cast in the '90s?
63
00:07:15,875 --> 00:07:17,123
Nick Fury.
64
00:07:17,125 --> 00:07:17,956
Morgan Freeman.
65
00:07:17,958 --> 00:07:21,081
No, no, no, Sam Jackson
would still be Nick Fury.
66
00:07:21,083 --> 00:07:22,873
No, Denzil would be Nick Fury,
67
00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:25,081
and Uma Thurman would be Black Widow.
68
00:07:25,083 --> 00:07:27,498
Well then, who would Sam Jackson be?
69
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:29,998
Would the movies be
the same or '90s cheesy?
70
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,373
Every movie would be exactly the same,
71
00:07:32,375 --> 00:07:33,834
but cast in the '90s.
72
00:07:34,916 --> 00:07:36,582
DiCaprio as Spider-Man.
73
00:07:36,584 --> 00:07:38,707
Michael Douglas is Ant-Man.
74
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:40,375
Michael Douglas is Ant-Man.
75
00:07:41,834 --> 00:07:42,667
Exactly.
76
00:07:43,792 --> 00:07:45,873
So what about the Guardians?
77
00:07:45,875 --> 00:07:46,748
Okay.
78
00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:49,123
Star-Lord would be Adam Sandler.
79
00:07:49,125 --> 00:07:51,914
Sandra Bullock would be Gamora, obviously.
80
00:07:51,916 --> 00:07:56,123
Then we got a Drax would be
Bruce Willis, without a doubt.
81
00:07:56,125 --> 00:08:00,582
Then Rocket would be
voiced by Jack Nicholson,
82
00:08:00,584 --> 00:08:03,373
and then Vin Diesel would still be Groot.
83
00:08:03,375 --> 00:08:05,081
Okay, okay, how about this?
84
00:08:05,083 --> 00:08:07,206
Hawkeye, Antonio Banderas,
85
00:08:07,208 --> 00:08:10,707
Captain America, Brad Pitt obviously.
86
00:08:10,709 --> 00:08:12,373
Bucky would be Sean Penn
87
00:08:12,375 --> 00:08:17,081
and Falcon would be, ooh, Eddie Murphy.
88
00:08:17,083 --> 00:08:18,081
Not just that.
89
00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:20,790
Team Ironman would be Tom Cruise,
90
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,000
DiCaprio as Spider-Man,
91
00:08:23,458 --> 00:08:25,125
Ralph Fiennes as Vision,
92
00:08:26,166 --> 00:08:28,790
Lawrence Fishburne as a Black Panther,
93
00:08:28,792 --> 00:08:31,166
and Don Cheadle as still
playing War Machine.
94
00:08:32,041 --> 00:08:35,248
Yeah, yeah, I'm down with that.
95
00:08:35,250 --> 00:08:37,790
What if Star Wars was cast in the '90s?
96
00:08:37,792 --> 00:08:40,292
Nope, nope, no, no, no, mm mm.
97
00:08:58,125 --> 00:08:59,873
Do you have any Cactus Coolers?
98
00:08:59,875 --> 00:09:01,914
No, just Dr. Pepper.
99
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:02,750
Man.
100
00:09:04,750 --> 00:09:06,166
Um, what time's the movie?
101
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,832
There is a 6:30 and a 9:30,
102
00:09:08,834 --> 00:09:10,542
but everybody's going to the 6:30.
103
00:09:12,208 --> 00:09:14,458
Er, I have to work,
so I'll be there after.
104
00:09:16,458 --> 00:09:17,542
You have work?
105
00:09:18,709 --> 00:09:19,665
Tonight?
106
00:09:19,667 --> 00:09:21,998
Yeah, just because you
stopped working today,
107
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,790
doesn't mean that the
whole world's on vacation.
108
00:09:24,792 --> 00:09:27,415
So it's just gonna be me and Sam?
109
00:09:27,417 --> 00:09:28,250
Sam and I.
110
00:09:29,333 --> 00:09:30,832
Look, it's only gonna
be for a few hours,
111
00:09:30,834 --> 00:09:31,998
and I've seen the movie before.
112
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,665
It's not that big of a deal.
113
00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:34,665
It's not about the movie,
114
00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:38,748
it's the fact that we have
two weeks left to hang out.
115
00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:40,500
Oh, are you gonna die without me?
116
00:09:42,125 --> 00:09:42,958
No.
117
00:09:45,625 --> 00:09:46,832
Maybe.
118
00:09:46,834 --> 00:09:49,958
You'll be fine
for six hours without me.
119
00:09:51,166 --> 00:09:52,832
What about Sam?
120
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:53,667
What about me?
121
00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:57,290
What if there's girls there?
122
00:09:57,292 --> 00:10:00,248
Girls only talk to us when you're there.
123
00:10:00,250 --> 00:10:02,373
Girls come up and talk
to you all the time,
124
00:10:02,375 --> 00:10:05,375
and unlike you two, I have
rent to pay next year.
125
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,417
Your guilt trips have
no power on me, Skywalker.
126
00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:15,208
God, and you wonder
why you're single, mm.
127
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:19,832
Fortunately, I know why
I'm single, thank you.
128
00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:21,958
If you knew why, you wouldn't be single.
129
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:31,164
Shit.
130
00:10:31,166 --> 00:10:33,166
She's not supposed to move until Sunday.
131
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,039
I don't think she got memo.
132
00:10:36,041 --> 00:10:37,623
You should go help her pack, Jackie.
133
00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:39,498
No, that's creepy.
134
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,373
No, what you're doing now is creepy.
135
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:42,417
Just go talk to her.
136
00:10:43,417 --> 00:10:45,081
No.
137
00:10:45,083 --> 00:10:48,248
We were supposed to hang
out tonight before she left.
138
00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:49,914
Go talk to her then.
139
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:51,916
Yeah, Jackie, fuck the movies.
140
00:10:53,375 --> 00:10:54,665
I can't.
141
00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:55,500
And why not?
142
00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:00,166
I,
143
00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:03,166
I flirted with her on accident.
144
00:11:06,584 --> 00:11:07,417
And?
145
00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:11,916
The week when I was
home sick she texted me,
146
00:11:12,792 --> 00:11:16,707
and you know, it was just a
normal hey, how you doing text.
147
00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:18,873
Get to the point where you flirted.
148
00:11:18,875 --> 00:11:21,956
You know, we were joking
around about movies and stuff,
149
00:11:21,958 --> 00:11:23,748
you know, but I'm a little loopy,
150
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:26,540
'cause I'm about to pass
out from this NyQuil.
151
00:11:26,542 --> 00:11:28,750
She says, "What are you watching now?"
152
00:11:29,667 --> 00:11:32,709
To which I say, "Come over and see,"
153
00:11:33,667 --> 00:11:36,750
to which she replied, "Oh yeah?"
154
00:11:37,834 --> 00:11:39,875
With a winky face emoji.
155
00:11:41,166 --> 00:11:42,956
Ooh, so what happened?
156
00:11:42,958 --> 00:11:43,792
Nothing.
157
00:11:45,166 --> 00:11:48,333
I fell asleep and I
haven't texted her back.
158
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,331
You left her on read?
159
00:11:51,333 --> 00:11:52,456
On a flirt text?
160
00:11:52,458 --> 00:11:53,292
I know.
161
00:11:55,417 --> 00:11:56,625
I don't know what to do.
162
00:11:57,834 --> 00:11:59,540
Okay, okay, you just
need to go over there,
163
00:11:59,542 --> 00:12:01,834
act like nothing happened,
and help her pack.
164
00:12:02,792 --> 00:12:04,250
That's gonna be awkward.
165
00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:08,250
Jackie, I'll make it awkward
if you don't go over there.
166
00:12:10,458 --> 00:12:11,292
Fine.
167
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:30,709
Hey.
168
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:32,667
You're moving?
169
00:12:33,667 --> 00:12:35,748
Yeah.
170
00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:36,584
Today?
171
00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:40,123
Yeah.
172
00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:42,540
Oh, I know we were supposed
to hang out this weekend,
173
00:12:42,542 --> 00:12:44,417
but I'm moving, so.
174
00:12:46,958 --> 00:12:47,792
Jackie.
175
00:12:50,375 --> 00:12:51,290
Hi.
176
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:54,125
Jackie, this is Brad, who
I've been telling you about.
177
00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:56,874
Nice to meet you.
178
00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:58,623
How's it going, dude?
179
00:12:58,625 --> 00:13:00,582
It's nice to finally put
a face to the name, huh?
180
00:13:00,584 --> 00:13:02,166
Yeah, you too.
181
00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:08,748
Um, I was just wondering if you
guys, like, needed any help?
182
00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:11,415
Oh, no, Brad's got it covered.
183
00:13:11,417 --> 00:13:12,790
I'm actually not even moving completely
184
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,290
out of my parents' house,
185
00:13:14,292 --> 00:13:16,834
just in case things don't
work out for some reason.
186
00:13:17,834 --> 00:13:19,748
You're moving in together?
187
00:13:19,750 --> 00:13:22,582
No, no, my
folks are super religious,
188
00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:24,748
so that'd be like
declaring war in my house.
189
00:13:24,750 --> 00:13:25,582
Didn't I tell you?
190
00:13:25,584 --> 00:13:27,292
I'm moving into the Sheredin house.
191
00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:30,123
Sorority?
192
00:13:30,125 --> 00:13:32,540
She says it's not a sorority, but it is.
193
00:13:32,542 --> 00:13:34,665
It's not a sorority.
194
00:13:34,667 --> 00:13:36,873
But anyways, it's, like, across town,
195
00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:39,248
so actually if you wanna hang out tonight,
196
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:40,458
we can if you want?
197
00:13:41,333 --> 00:13:42,166
It's all right.
198
00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:45,248
Actually, I've a movie to catch, so.
199
00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:46,081
Oh?
200
00:13:46,083 --> 00:13:47,873
But you can come by after.
201
00:13:47,875 --> 00:13:49,041
Hey, what movie?
202
00:13:50,125 --> 00:13:51,582
The Thing.
203
00:13:51,584 --> 00:13:52,914
'82 or 2011?
204
00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:53,748
'82.
205
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:54,832
Nice.
206
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,123
Well, why don't we just plan to catch up
207
00:13:57,125 --> 00:13:58,667
some time later in the week?
208
00:14:00,125 --> 00:14:00,958
Great.
209
00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:13,331
I've had nightmares that
went better than that.
210
00:14:13,333 --> 00:14:15,248
We were across the street,
211
00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:16,998
and I was embarrassed to be there.
212
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,792
Okay, it wasn't that bad.
213
00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:21,832
Have you ever been friend zoned
214
00:14:21,834 --> 00:14:24,956
by a girl and her
boyfriend at the same time?
215
00:14:24,958 --> 00:14:25,956
No.
216
00:14:25,958 --> 00:14:27,164
How was Brad?
217
00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:29,166
He's amazing, that's the problem.
218
00:14:30,125 --> 00:14:32,123
You know, he goes to
church with my grandma.
219
00:14:32,125 --> 00:14:34,750
Okay, does it bother
anyone else that he's old?
220
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,206
He's 25.
221
00:14:37,208 --> 00:14:39,875
I know, but Carmen's 19.
222
00:14:41,041 --> 00:14:42,914
Would you date somebody that's 25?
223
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:43,834
Oh, hell yeah.
224
00:14:45,417 --> 00:14:47,540
Just kill me please.
225
00:14:47,542 --> 00:14:49,498
Maybe later, you have to
drop me off at my house,
226
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:50,707
I'm late for work.
227
00:14:50,709 --> 00:14:51,542
Traitor.
228
00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:54,331
Get up and get in the car,
229
00:14:54,333 --> 00:14:56,041
or I'll break something expensive.
230
00:15:58,250 --> 00:16:00,333
I'll text you guys after I get off work.
231
00:16:03,709 --> 00:16:05,206
How's it hanging, guys?
232
00:16:05,208 --> 00:16:07,540
Slightly to the left, Mr. Campbell.
233
00:16:07,542 --> 00:16:10,248
I want you to know, someone
tried to sell us drugs today,
234
00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:13,331
and Kevin bought them all, out
of the goodness of his heart.
235
00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:16,000
Oh, there's no more I can teach him.
236
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,582
So what are you gonna
do when Kevin leaves?
237
00:16:19,584 --> 00:16:22,748
I think Kel and I are gonna
start hosting swinger parties.
238
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:24,998
Ooh, kinky.
239
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,373
I'll tell my folks.
240
00:16:26,375 --> 00:16:27,748
See you guys later.
241
00:16:27,750 --> 00:16:29,081
Bye, Mr. Campbell.
242
00:16:29,083 --> 00:16:29,916
Bye, Jackie.
243
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,164
If you could have any
prop from any movie,
244
00:16:43,166 --> 00:16:44,582
what would it be?
245
00:16:44,584 --> 00:16:46,456
One I don't already have?
246
00:16:46,458 --> 00:16:47,292
Obviously.
247
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:50,041
Er, the Delorean.
248
00:16:51,250 --> 00:16:52,832
That's a car.
249
00:16:52,834 --> 00:16:54,540
You said any prop.
250
00:16:54,542 --> 00:16:55,623
I meant something practical.
251
00:16:55,625 --> 00:16:57,584
You know, something that
you can fit in your room.
252
00:16:58,958 --> 00:17:01,248
The mecha-glove from Hellboy.
253
00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:04,500
Yeah, Adam Savage made
one and would like my own.
254
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:09,417
What about you?
255
00:17:14,458 --> 00:17:16,707
Nada's sunglasses, from They Live.
256
00:17:16,709 --> 00:17:17,542
That's it?
257
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,623
They're magic sunglasses, I like magic.
258
00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:24,083
Not trying to bash
your fandom or anything.
259
00:17:25,584 --> 00:17:27,542
I think you should email ILM.
260
00:17:29,458 --> 00:17:30,292
Why?
261
00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:33,623
Well, because you love building models,
262
00:17:33,625 --> 00:17:35,914
you talk about miniatures all the time,
263
00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:38,748
and you're the biggest movie nerd I know.
264
00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:41,750
I just think that it'd be
worth getting an internship.
265
00:17:42,834 --> 00:17:45,458
They don't, er, they don't
film miniatures anymore.
266
00:17:46,375 --> 00:17:47,415
So you don't think
that they'd be excited
267
00:17:47,417 --> 00:17:50,584
about a young woman interested
in models and miniatures?
268
00:17:54,542 --> 00:17:56,709
I don't know, it's ILM.
269
00:18:00,041 --> 00:18:02,542
Just trying to help, Jackie.
270
00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:09,250
Do you have any Bandai model kits?
271
00:18:10,333 --> 00:18:11,625
Does it look like we do?
272
00:18:20,458 --> 00:18:21,373
Yeah.
273
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:22,625
You bet your ass we do.
274
00:18:23,584 --> 00:18:25,623
I'm looking for Gundam.
275
00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:27,582
Where do Wookies come from?
276
00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:28,417
Kashyyyk.
277
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:30,790
Is this a test?
278
00:18:30,792 --> 00:18:33,415
Spike, Jet, Faye, Ed, Ein.
279
00:18:33,417 --> 00:18:34,331
Cowboy Bebop.
280
00:18:34,333 --> 00:18:35,248
Who pilots the Ghost?
281
00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:36,582
Hera Syndulla.
282
00:18:36,584 --> 00:18:37,665
Major Chip Hazard.
283
00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:39,000
Small Soldiers.
284
00:18:40,458 --> 00:18:43,458
I got a Perfect Grade
RX-78-2, last one in stock.
285
00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:47,417
That's all right, I just
need the regular version.
286
00:18:48,458 --> 00:18:49,292
Excuse me?
287
00:18:51,083 --> 00:18:54,998
Um, the Perfect Grade is
a little more expensive,
288
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,375
I just need the regular one.
289
00:18:57,916 --> 00:18:59,000
You disgust me.
290
00:19:00,709 --> 00:19:01,707
Why?
291
00:19:01,709 --> 00:19:04,331
Do you own Back to the
Future on Blu-ray or DVD?
292
00:19:04,333 --> 00:19:05,540
Blu-ray.
293
00:19:05,542 --> 00:19:07,123
Why?
294
00:19:07,125 --> 00:19:08,290
Better quality.
295
00:19:08,292 --> 00:19:09,292
Does it cost more?
296
00:19:11,542 --> 00:19:12,707
Little bit.
297
00:19:12,709 --> 00:19:14,290
Exactly.
298
00:19:14,292 --> 00:19:15,834
Perfect Grade is the Blu-ray.
299
00:19:17,542 --> 00:19:18,375
Wow.
300
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,707
That'll be $400.
301
00:19:30,333 --> 00:19:31,456
What?
302
00:19:31,458 --> 00:19:33,834
You're moping over
Carmen, and it's pathetic.
303
00:19:35,083 --> 00:19:36,250
I'm not moping.
304
00:19:37,792 --> 00:19:39,956
You can't mope, you know why?
305
00:19:39,958 --> 00:19:42,707
No, but I feel like
you're gonna tell me.
306
00:19:42,709 --> 00:19:44,792
I'm gonna tell you something important.
307
00:19:46,041 --> 00:19:48,166
Something someone special once told me.
308
00:19:49,208 --> 00:19:50,041
Okay.
309
00:19:51,333 --> 00:19:53,542
No woman will ever
appreciate you, Jackie.
310
00:19:57,417 --> 00:19:58,250
That's it?
311
00:19:59,125 --> 00:19:59,958
Yeah.
312
00:20:02,458 --> 00:20:04,498
Who the hell told you that?
313
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:05,333
My mom.
314
00:20:06,916 --> 00:20:08,665
You don't, you don't get it?
315
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:09,916
That's depressing, Sam.
316
00:20:11,125 --> 00:20:12,333
Carmen is just a girl.
317
00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:14,998
She not even that cute.
318
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,164
It's not about her, okay?
319
00:20:17,166 --> 00:20:18,331
So you admit you're moping.
320
00:20:18,333 --> 00:20:20,792
I'm not moping, I'm just bummed out.
321
00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:23,333
Lay it on me.
322
00:20:26,292 --> 00:20:28,164
Kevin's gone in two weeks,
323
00:20:28,166 --> 00:20:29,792
and you're leaving the next day.
324
00:20:30,625 --> 00:20:32,164
So?
325
00:20:32,166 --> 00:20:34,125
You can't spend five months without us?
326
00:20:35,083 --> 00:20:36,790
It's more than just the, Sam, okay?
327
00:20:36,792 --> 00:20:37,875
You know that.
328
00:20:38,916 --> 00:20:42,331
You're making a bigger deal
out of this than it really is.
329
00:20:42,333 --> 00:20:44,582
You're going to Chicago with your dad,
330
00:20:44,584 --> 00:20:46,498
Kevin's going to college,
331
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:47,958
and I'm just gonna be here.
332
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,375
By myself, trying to figure shit out.
333
00:20:52,375 --> 00:20:53,208
And?
334
00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:56,164
Everything is gonna be different,
335
00:20:56,166 --> 00:20:58,914
and we're not gonna be the
same friends when you get back.
336
00:20:58,916 --> 00:21:00,582
You don't know that.
337
00:21:00,584 --> 00:21:02,331
Yes I do, okay?
338
00:21:02,333 --> 00:21:05,373
We haven't spent more than
a couple of weeks apart
339
00:21:05,375 --> 00:21:06,584
since the seventh grade.
340
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:11,248
Damn Jackie, you act
like we're not coming back.
341
00:21:11,250 --> 00:21:14,707
Look, I know this shit with
your dad leaving is fucked up,
342
00:21:14,709 --> 00:21:16,125
but we're your best friends.
343
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:18,373
Pull over!
344
00:21:18,375 --> 00:21:19,206
What did I say?
345
00:21:19,208 --> 00:21:20,041
Pull over.
346
00:21:24,625 --> 00:21:25,417
Look.
347
00:21:29,750 --> 00:21:31,123
Turn down the music.
348
00:21:31,125 --> 00:21:31,958
I can't.
349
00:21:59,542 --> 00:22:00,623
Fixed it.
350
00:22:21,958 --> 00:22:24,456
One man must stop his best
friend from being an idiot.
351
00:22:24,458 --> 00:22:25,292
Again.
352
00:22:28,709 --> 00:22:30,665
Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.
353
00:22:30,667 --> 00:22:31,498
what?
354
00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:32,456
What are you doing?
355
00:22:32,458 --> 00:22:33,290
I'm saving you.
356
00:22:33,292 --> 00:22:34,123
From what?
357
00:22:34,125 --> 00:22:35,914
From being an idiot.
358
00:22:35,916 --> 00:22:37,415
You can't just walk up to the house.
359
00:22:37,417 --> 00:22:39,125
Why not? She just left.
360
00:22:43,333 --> 00:22:45,874
Stick with me for one second.
361
00:22:45,876 --> 00:22:47,498
It's a sorority house.
362
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:50,166
Technically, it's not,
and would you let go?
363
00:22:51,166 --> 00:22:53,750
That's not the point, okay?
364
00:22:54,875 --> 00:22:56,498
There are girls in that house.
365
00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:58,916
If they see you creeping,
they will tell Carmen.
366
00:23:00,083 --> 00:23:01,916
Just wanted to check it out, okay?
367
00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:06,415
Come on, I like this new
found confidence you have,
368
00:23:06,417 --> 00:23:10,498
but you need to trust
your old friend Sam, okay?
369
00:23:10,500 --> 00:23:12,540
You wanna do what?
370
00:23:12,542 --> 00:23:16,164
I just wanna take this
delivery in one of the cars.
371
00:23:16,166 --> 00:23:17,498
I don't know if you remember,
372
00:23:17,500 --> 00:23:19,373
but you don't work here anymore.
373
00:23:19,375 --> 00:23:20,750
And I don't like you.
374
00:23:21,667 --> 00:23:25,832
I know, it's just that
I called in this order
375
00:23:25,834 --> 00:23:28,331
and I wanna be the one to deliver it.
376
00:23:28,333 --> 00:23:29,208
To yourself?
377
00:23:31,375 --> 00:23:32,707
It's complicated.
378
00:23:32,709 --> 00:23:34,164
Uncomplicate it.
379
00:23:34,166 --> 00:23:36,081
Listen, Eddie, we're trying to get laid.
380
00:23:36,083 --> 00:23:37,958
All we need is the car, shirt and hat.
381
00:23:39,958 --> 00:23:41,834
Well, why didn't you just say so?
382
00:24:01,417 --> 00:24:02,542
Repeat it back to me.
383
00:24:03,584 --> 00:24:05,290
You deliver the pizza.
384
00:24:05,292 --> 00:24:06,832
Carmen will open the door.
385
00:24:06,834 --> 00:24:08,998
She'll say, "I didn't order a pizza."
386
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,582
You'll say, "It must be a prank."
387
00:24:11,584 --> 00:24:12,998
She'll be excited to see you,
388
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:16,415
so she'll invite you in,
introduce you to her friends,
389
00:24:16,417 --> 00:24:18,956
that's when you work me
into the conversation,
390
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:21,665
that's when I'll sling
by and join the party.
391
00:24:24,792 --> 00:24:26,625
This sounds like a really bad idea.
392
00:24:28,709 --> 00:24:30,250
Like, a really bad idea.
393
00:24:32,500 --> 00:24:36,039
Well, I think it's a pretty good idea.
394
00:24:36,041 --> 00:24:36,873
Really?
395
00:24:36,875 --> 00:24:38,415
'Cause it sounds like
the embarrassing things
396
00:24:38,417 --> 00:24:40,208
we have to do when Kevin's not here.
397
00:24:41,625 --> 00:24:42,916
Jackie, look at me.
398
00:24:44,667 --> 00:24:47,542
That house is full of beautiful women.
399
00:24:48,458 --> 00:24:50,540
We don't even know that.
400
00:24:50,542 --> 00:24:52,873
Jackie, you have the golden ticket.
401
00:24:52,875 --> 00:24:54,832
By some miracle, you're
friends with Willy Wonka.
402
00:24:54,834 --> 00:24:56,540
We both like chocolate.
403
00:24:56,542 --> 00:24:58,542
Now, get us into that chocolate factory.
404
00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:03,956
Okay, I can do this.
405
00:25:03,958 --> 00:25:05,041
I believe in you.
406
00:25:18,125 --> 00:25:19,373
Go get 'em, tiger.
407
00:25:19,375 --> 00:25:20,208
Shut up, Sam.
408
00:25:50,542 --> 00:25:51,625
Are you lost?
409
00:25:57,375 --> 00:25:59,417
No, somebody ordered a pizza.
410
00:26:01,041 --> 00:26:02,998
Nobody ordered a pizza.
411
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:03,834
Oh.
412
00:26:06,542 --> 00:26:07,956
Are you sure?
413
00:26:07,958 --> 00:26:08,792
Yeah.
414
00:26:10,916 --> 00:26:11,750
Okay.
415
00:26:20,417 --> 00:26:22,000
Would you like to come inside?
416
00:26:24,875 --> 00:26:26,292
Uh, yeah, yeah.
417
00:26:39,458 --> 00:26:40,456
Yes, yes!
418
00:26:44,250 --> 00:26:45,290
Yes!
419
00:26:45,292 --> 00:26:46,333
It's Jackie, right?
420
00:26:47,875 --> 00:26:50,625
Er, yeah, yeah, Jackie Polidori.
421
00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:53,164
Ladies, this is Jackie.
422
00:26:53,166 --> 00:26:57,041
Jackie, this is Layla, Kayla, and Zoe.
423
00:26:58,041 --> 00:26:59,415
And I'm Monica.
424
00:26:59,417 --> 00:27:01,456
Can I help you with that?
425
00:27:01,458 --> 00:27:02,998
Yeah, sure, sure.
426
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:03,834
Zoe.
427
00:27:08,458 --> 00:27:09,292
Sit.
428
00:27:10,417 --> 00:27:11,250
Okay.
429
00:27:17,333 --> 00:27:18,248
Hi.
430
00:27:18,250 --> 00:27:19,748
Hi.
431
00:27:19,750 --> 00:27:21,498
Are you thirsty?
432
00:27:21,500 --> 00:27:25,876
Yeah, um, actually, I'd love
a soda if that's all right.
433
00:27:30,916 --> 00:27:31,750
Hello.
434
00:27:45,958 --> 00:27:47,542
Ooh, more ladies.
435
00:28:00,709 --> 00:28:01,542
Hang on.
436
00:28:07,375 --> 00:28:08,373
You know, I think it's funny,
437
00:28:08,375 --> 00:28:12,456
'cause my friend Kevin, he
doesn't like Phantom Menace,
438
00:28:12,458 --> 00:28:14,041
but my friend Sam,
439
00:28:15,417 --> 00:28:17,498
who's a great guy by the way,
440
00:28:17,500 --> 00:28:20,290
thinks Jar Jar's hilarious, so I'm not-
441
00:28:25,333 --> 00:28:26,248
Hey guys, sorry I'm late,
442
00:28:26,250 --> 00:28:28,625
I had to pick up one
last box at my parents'.
443
00:28:31,166 --> 00:28:32,373
Jackie.
444
00:28:32,375 --> 00:28:33,208
Hi, Carmen.
445
00:28:34,166 --> 00:28:36,123
What are you doing here?
446
00:28:36,125 --> 00:28:39,125
Um, well, somebody ordered a pizza,
447
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,623
so I came running.
448
00:28:41,625 --> 00:28:43,790
Why didn't you tell
us about your friend?
449
00:28:43,792 --> 00:28:45,709
I don't know, I,
450
00:28:46,834 --> 00:28:49,166
er, Jackie, did you know
this was my new place?
451
00:28:50,375 --> 00:28:51,458
Not a clue.
452
00:29:24,792 --> 00:29:27,542
Jackie Polidori, you are my hero.
453
00:30:55,792 --> 00:30:56,958
Anyone thirsty?
454
00:31:01,250 --> 00:31:02,083
Yep.
455
00:31:04,375 --> 00:31:05,540
Good shoes.
456
00:31:05,542 --> 00:31:06,623
Thank you.
457
00:31:06,625 --> 00:31:07,458
Yeah.
458
00:31:09,375 --> 00:31:10,208
Jack!
459
00:31:11,458 --> 00:31:12,292
Kie, oh.
460
00:31:15,292 --> 00:31:16,373
Hi, ladies.
461
00:31:16,375 --> 00:31:17,998
Who are you?
462
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,625
This is my friend Sam
I was telling you about.
463
00:31:21,958 --> 00:31:23,623
Jackie, er, we're gonna
be late for that movie,
464
00:31:23,625 --> 00:31:25,498
and we need to go now.
465
00:31:25,500 --> 00:31:27,331
What are you doing?
466
00:31:27,333 --> 00:31:29,498
So sorry for the intrusion, ladies.
467
00:31:29,500 --> 00:31:31,456
You have a beautiful house.
468
00:31:31,458 --> 00:31:34,707
So sorry, everybody, but, hi.
469
00:31:34,709 --> 00:31:35,542
- Hi.
- Bye.
470
00:31:39,250 --> 00:31:40,375
I like your friends.
471
00:31:43,125 --> 00:31:45,498
Sam, are you fucking high?
472
00:31:45,500 --> 00:31:46,874
Jackie, get in the car.
473
00:31:46,876 --> 00:31:49,039
Jackie, get in the car
or I'll kill you myself.
474
00:31:49,041 --> 00:31:50,750
What are you talking about?
475
00:31:52,083 --> 00:31:54,417
Jackie, get in the car.
476
00:32:20,125 --> 00:32:22,123
You're freaking me out, Sam.
477
00:32:22,125 --> 00:32:23,248
You're freaked out?
478
00:32:23,250 --> 00:32:26,540
I just saw a dead guy in
your girlfriend's trashcan.
479
00:32:26,542 --> 00:32:27,998
What?
480
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,623
Body parts, Jackie, human body parts.
481
00:32:30,625 --> 00:32:32,331
Mixed in with the pizza and shit.
482
00:32:32,333 --> 00:32:35,373
And I also saw one of the
hot chicks poison the drinks.
483
00:32:35,375 --> 00:32:37,998
Who, who poisoned the drink?
484
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,039
The redhead.
485
00:32:39,041 --> 00:32:40,792
It's always the fucking redhead.
486
00:32:42,417 --> 00:32:44,665
You gotta take me back, Sam.
487
00:32:44,667 --> 00:32:46,248
What?
488
00:32:46,250 --> 00:32:47,832
To die?
489
00:32:47,834 --> 00:32:49,665
You embarrassed me, Sam.
490
00:32:49,667 --> 00:32:51,873
You single handedly ruined any chance
491
00:32:51,875 --> 00:32:53,331
either of us had, you know that?
492
00:32:53,333 --> 00:32:54,623
I saved your ass.
493
00:32:54,625 --> 00:32:56,208
I'm Sarah Connor, mother fucker!
494
00:32:57,166 --> 00:32:58,623
You're an idiot.
495
00:32:58,625 --> 00:33:01,290
Exactly, why would
any of this shit work?
496
00:33:01,292 --> 00:33:03,164
This is not a porno, Jackie.
497
00:33:03,166 --> 00:33:05,290
This shit doesn't happen in real life.
498
00:33:05,292 --> 00:33:08,123
Prove it, prove anything you're saying,
499
00:33:08,125 --> 00:33:09,956
and we'll call the cops right now.
500
00:33:09,958 --> 00:33:11,456
We can't call the cops.
501
00:33:11,458 --> 00:33:12,832
Why the hell not?
502
00:33:12,834 --> 00:33:14,333
Because what if I'm wrong?
503
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,373
And what if you're right?
504
00:33:19,375 --> 00:33:21,542
Then your girlfriend's
in some serious shit.
505
00:33:22,458 --> 00:33:23,832
Carmen?
506
00:33:23,834 --> 00:33:25,290
Why?
507
00:33:25,292 --> 00:33:27,625
I saw the redhead poison
more than one drink.
508
00:33:31,500 --> 00:33:32,333
Fuck.
509
00:33:33,292 --> 00:33:34,623
I know.
510
00:33:34,625 --> 00:33:38,125
Promise me, Sam, promise me
you're telling me the truth.
511
00:33:39,333 --> 00:33:40,166
Jackie,
512
00:33:43,208 --> 00:33:44,041
I'm dead ass.
513
00:33:48,500 --> 00:33:49,333
Oh my god.
514
00:33:50,625 --> 00:33:51,584
So what do we do?
515
00:33:55,375 --> 00:33:56,834
We're gonna need some help.
516
00:34:05,083 --> 00:34:07,039
We're running out of time.
517
00:34:07,041 --> 00:34:08,832
Relax, Zoe.
518
00:34:08,834 --> 00:34:11,375
No one's feeling the pressure
of time more than me.
519
00:34:13,208 --> 00:34:14,208
So now what?
520
00:34:15,792 --> 00:34:16,625
Find them.
521
00:34:25,500 --> 00:34:29,083
- I totally understand.
- Absolutely, absolutely.
522
00:34:52,834 --> 00:34:55,790
Brad, we need your help.
523
00:34:55,792 --> 00:34:57,500
Hi, I'm Sam.
524
00:34:58,916 --> 00:35:00,623
How'd you guys find where I live?
525
00:35:00,625 --> 00:35:03,373
Oh, you go to church with my grandma.
526
00:35:03,375 --> 00:35:05,123
Yeah, this is Sam, I'm Jackie,
527
00:35:05,125 --> 00:35:07,373
we met earlier today, I don't
know if you remember me,
528
00:35:07,375 --> 00:35:09,208
but Carmen is in trouble.
529
00:35:15,542 --> 00:35:16,375
Dude.
530
00:35:17,375 --> 00:35:18,208
What?
531
00:35:19,083 --> 00:35:21,373
I'm in here trying to cheer him up.
532
00:35:21,375 --> 00:35:22,916
We broke up.
533
00:35:24,709 --> 00:35:26,373
Oh.
534
00:35:26,375 --> 00:35:27,998
I'm sorry, man.
535
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,832
It's okay, it's okay, you
gotta shake it off, okay?
536
00:35:31,834 --> 00:35:33,331
- Okay.
- Shake it off.
537
00:35:33,333 --> 00:35:34,164
Yeah.
538
00:35:34,166 --> 00:35:35,290
Big boys don't cry,
539
00:35:35,292 --> 00:35:38,083
big boys don't cry, big boys don't cry.
540
00:35:39,458 --> 00:35:42,292
Okay.
541
00:35:43,750 --> 00:35:45,582
What were you saying?
542
00:35:45,584 --> 00:35:49,417
Listen Brad, really sorry
you and Carmen broke up,
543
00:35:50,292 --> 00:35:53,250
but there's a very real
chance that she's in danger.
544
00:35:55,083 --> 00:35:56,333
What kinda danger?
545
00:36:00,958 --> 00:36:03,665
Wait, so Carmen's roommates
are trying to poison her?
546
00:36:03,667 --> 00:36:05,248
The redhead.
547
00:36:05,250 --> 00:36:06,081
It's probably probably the same one
548
00:36:06,083 --> 00:36:07,956
that cut up the dead guy in the trashcan.
549
00:36:07,958 --> 00:36:10,415
Look, it sounds insane,
550
00:36:10,417 --> 00:36:12,582
but you're the only one that
can get her outta the house
551
00:36:12,584 --> 00:36:14,832
without raising any red flags.
552
00:36:14,834 --> 00:36:16,584
Get in, get out.
553
00:36:17,584 --> 00:36:19,290
I don't know if I can do this.
554
00:36:19,292 --> 00:36:21,081
I mean, it might be dangerous, but you-
555
00:36:21,083 --> 00:36:22,039
- No, no, no.
- You should just be able to-
556
00:36:22,041 --> 00:36:25,498
- I mean, I don't know if I
can see her without losing it.
557
00:36:25,500 --> 00:36:27,333
You really broke up?
558
00:36:28,709 --> 00:36:31,081
Like, it's official?
559
00:36:31,083 --> 00:36:33,081
I dunno, I mean, I
was meant to drive over
560
00:36:33,083 --> 00:36:34,415
to her new place with her,
561
00:36:34,417 --> 00:36:35,914
and she told me I shouldn't,
562
00:36:35,916 --> 00:36:37,417
and when I asked why, she, er,
563
00:36:39,125 --> 00:36:41,914
she said she was in
love with someone else.
564
00:36:41,916 --> 00:36:43,000
Life's a bitch, man.
565
00:36:44,834 --> 00:36:46,166
You know what you should do?
566
00:36:47,458 --> 00:36:48,667
Act like you don't care.
567
00:36:49,584 --> 00:36:50,667
Why would I do that?
568
00:36:51,958 --> 00:36:54,208
She broke up with you
because something was wrong.
569
00:36:55,458 --> 00:36:58,876
That's girlfriend code
for be a better boyfriend.
570
00:37:00,208 --> 00:37:02,164
But I'm a great boyfriend.
571
00:37:02,166 --> 00:37:03,000
Trust me.
572
00:37:04,417 --> 00:37:06,373
Act like nothing's wrong,
573
00:37:06,375 --> 00:37:07,623
and it'll drive her crazy
574
00:37:07,625 --> 00:37:09,623
that you're not broken up about it.
575
00:37:09,625 --> 00:37:11,665
Great advice.
576
00:37:11,667 --> 00:37:13,498
But we're trying to get
her outta the house,
577
00:37:13,500 --> 00:37:14,832
not piss her off.
578
00:37:14,834 --> 00:37:15,665
Look out!
579
00:37:19,876 --> 00:37:20,707
Jackie!
580
00:37:33,083 --> 00:37:34,873
What the fuck, man?
581
00:37:34,875 --> 00:37:36,498
You almost hit my fucking car.
582
00:37:36,500 --> 00:37:39,039
What if my kids would have been in there?
583
00:37:39,041 --> 00:37:40,623
Jackie.
584
00:37:40,625 --> 00:37:42,790
Get the fuck outta the car.
585
00:37:42,792 --> 00:37:44,540
I said get outta the car.
586
00:37:44,542 --> 00:37:45,956
- Jackie?
- Hello?
587
00:37:45,958 --> 00:37:48,498
I got something else going
on here right now, Sam.
588
00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:49,331
How about you, tough guy?
589
00:37:49,333 --> 00:37:50,331
I'll take care of this guy.
590
00:37:50,333 --> 00:37:51,916
Stay in the car, Brad.
591
00:37:54,792 --> 00:37:56,540
Jackie, the redhead's gone.
592
00:37:56,542 --> 00:37:57,790
What, Sam?
593
00:37:57,792 --> 00:38:00,790
You hear?
594
00:38:00,792 --> 00:38:02,456
I think I'll stay in the car.
595
00:38:02,458 --> 00:38:03,914
Who the fuck are you?
596
00:38:41,333 --> 00:38:42,667
You all right?
597
00:38:45,083 --> 00:38:47,250
First vampire, huh?
598
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:50,834
Cool.
599
00:38:52,250 --> 00:38:54,916
You mind giving me a hand here?
600
00:39:06,709 --> 00:39:07,875
Excuse me, sir.
601
00:39:09,500 --> 00:39:10,333
Who are you?
602
00:39:11,625 --> 00:39:14,331
Warren Van Helsing.
603
00:39:14,333 --> 00:39:15,623
Van Helsing?
604
00:39:15,625 --> 00:39:17,792
Hey kid, grab her legs, all right?
605
00:39:19,458 --> 00:39:23,164
Like, like Van Helsing Van Helsing?
606
00:39:23,166 --> 00:39:24,000
Yeah, kinda.
607
00:39:25,750 --> 00:39:27,041
Kinda Van Helsing?
608
00:39:27,875 --> 00:39:31,623
Oh come on, you just saw
me blow a hole in a vampire,
609
00:39:31,625 --> 00:39:34,083
so what part of this are
you having trouble with?
610
00:39:35,417 --> 00:39:36,834
I'm processing.
611
00:39:38,083 --> 00:39:39,665
But if we don't get these bodies
612
00:39:39,667 --> 00:39:41,456
out of the street right now,
613
00:39:41,458 --> 00:39:44,707
we're gonna attract some
unwanted attention, right?
614
00:39:44,709 --> 00:39:46,331
So process quickly,
615
00:39:46,333 --> 00:39:47,873
and grab your friend
616
00:39:47,875 --> 00:39:51,540
to give you a hand with
this other body, all right?
617
00:39:54,417 --> 00:39:56,081
Oh my god.
618
00:39:56,083 --> 00:39:56,916
Brad.
619
00:39:59,041 --> 00:40:00,582
Brad.
620
00:40:00,584 --> 00:40:02,081
Listen.
621
00:40:02,083 --> 00:40:03,083
I'm freaked out too.
622
00:40:04,041 --> 00:40:06,164
The only way we're gonna save Carmen
623
00:40:06,166 --> 00:40:08,623
is if we move this gross dead guy
624
00:40:08,625 --> 00:40:10,792
and shove him in the
back of a truck, okay?
625
00:40:13,292 --> 00:40:14,125
Okay, let's go.
626
00:40:21,584 --> 00:40:23,123
Easy enough, right?
627
00:40:27,916 --> 00:40:29,498
I'm sorry.
628
00:40:29,500 --> 00:40:32,164
All right, all right.
629
00:40:32,166 --> 00:40:33,164
Okay.
630
00:40:33,166 --> 00:40:34,998
All right, now you tell me.
631
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:38,000
Why are you being chased
by the vampire cult?
632
00:40:39,166 --> 00:40:40,956
Vampire cult?
633
00:40:40,958 --> 00:40:44,081
Don't answer my question
with a question, all right?
634
00:40:44,083 --> 00:40:46,873
Jackie and I, we tried
to hang out with Carmen,
635
00:40:46,875 --> 00:40:49,415
because she moved into
the house with vampires.
636
00:40:49,417 --> 00:40:52,540
But we didn't know they
were vampires at the time.
637
00:40:52,542 --> 00:40:53,458
They were just hot.
638
00:40:55,083 --> 00:40:56,000
Is she a virgin?
639
00:40:57,083 --> 00:40:59,750
That's a very inappropriate
question to ask.
640
00:41:00,709 --> 00:41:02,665
Okay, midnight tonight,
641
00:41:02,667 --> 00:41:04,748
they're gonna sacrifice a virgin,
642
00:41:04,750 --> 00:41:07,166
so I assume it was one of you two.
643
00:41:09,667 --> 00:41:10,625
I'm not a virgin.
644
00:41:15,958 --> 00:41:16,792
What?
645
00:41:19,125 --> 00:41:20,834
Why are you looking at me like that?
646
00:41:22,958 --> 00:41:24,709
What about Carmen?
647
00:41:25,792 --> 00:41:27,123
Look, I'd prefer not to talk about
648
00:41:27,125 --> 00:41:28,458
our love life, all right?
649
00:41:29,709 --> 00:41:32,665
This is a matter of
life and death, Brad.
650
00:41:32,667 --> 00:41:34,123
No, we haven't, okay?
651
00:41:34,125 --> 00:41:35,456
She wanted to wait till the right time,
652
00:41:35,458 --> 00:41:36,623
but that never happened.
653
00:41:36,625 --> 00:41:37,456
All right, all right,
all right, all right,
654
00:41:37,458 --> 00:41:40,748
so we only got two hours
till midnight, all right?
655
00:41:40,750 --> 00:41:43,373
Hey kid, you come with me, all right?
656
00:41:43,375 --> 00:41:44,208
Come.
657
00:41:47,458 --> 00:41:48,750
What do we do?
658
00:41:50,041 --> 00:41:52,832
All right, so you go to the church,
659
00:41:52,834 --> 00:41:54,665
and fill this with holy water.
660
00:41:54,667 --> 00:41:57,916
And meet us at the house
in 30 minutes, okay?
661
00:42:02,916 --> 00:42:04,125
Ready to go to church?
662
00:42:07,916 --> 00:42:10,206
So, you're like, Van
Helsing the third, right?
663
00:42:10,208 --> 00:42:14,206
My name is Warren, and my
great-great-great-grandfather
664
00:42:14,208 --> 00:42:15,875
was Abraham Van Helsing.
665
00:42:16,750 --> 00:42:17,834
But you're Japanese.
666
00:42:19,750 --> 00:42:23,832
Well, in my world, it's
a lot easier to travel,
667
00:42:23,834 --> 00:42:28,039
so my grandfather got
around, you know?
668
00:42:28,041 --> 00:42:29,623
So it's a family business.
669
00:42:29,625 --> 00:42:33,041
No, it's more a rite of
passage type of thing, okay?
670
00:42:34,208 --> 00:42:35,665
You any good at it?
671
00:42:35,667 --> 00:42:38,292
Well, have you ever seen
a vampire before tonight?
672
00:42:40,417 --> 00:42:41,665
No.
673
00:42:41,667 --> 00:42:43,498
Any witches?
674
00:42:43,500 --> 00:42:44,832
No.
675
00:42:44,834 --> 00:42:46,290
Warlocks?
676
00:42:46,292 --> 00:42:47,248
Werewolves?
677
00:42:47,250 --> 00:42:50,456
What I meant was, do you like it?
678
00:42:50,458 --> 00:42:52,667
I just kill monsters, you know?
679
00:42:53,625 --> 00:42:55,373
My dad's an accountant,
680
00:42:55,375 --> 00:42:57,748
that doesn't mean he likes his job.
681
00:42:57,750 --> 00:42:59,834
He wants me to work for him after we move.
682
00:43:00,834 --> 00:43:03,206
Accounting is a noble profession,
683
00:43:03,208 --> 00:43:04,333
so it's all good, huh?
684
00:43:06,083 --> 00:43:08,373
Do you know what accounting is?
685
00:43:08,375 --> 00:43:09,998
You count.
686
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:11,331
For a living.
687
00:43:11,333 --> 00:43:12,417
Of course I'm aware.
688
00:43:14,083 --> 00:43:16,123
You think I'm stupid or what?
689
00:43:16,125 --> 00:43:18,415
You like it though, right?
690
00:43:18,417 --> 00:43:19,248
Your job?
691
00:43:19,250 --> 00:43:21,208
It's not a job, okay.
692
00:43:22,333 --> 00:43:23,166
It's awesome.
693
00:43:24,500 --> 00:43:27,582
Oh, okay, I'll try to keep you
694
00:43:27,584 --> 00:43:29,292
and your friends alive, okay?
695
00:43:30,709 --> 00:43:31,874
Thank you, Mr. Van Helsing.
696
00:43:31,876 --> 00:43:32,958
Oh, just Warren.
697
00:43:35,250 --> 00:43:36,417
Thank you, Mr. Warren.
698
00:43:38,417 --> 00:43:40,081
Do I get a shotgun?
699
00:43:40,083 --> 00:43:40,916
Nope.
700
00:43:47,375 --> 00:43:49,582
So what type of
music do you listen to?
701
00:43:49,584 --> 00:43:50,914
Do me a favor.
702
00:43:50,916 --> 00:43:51,874
Yep.
703
00:43:51,876 --> 00:43:53,415
No more question, okay?
704
00:43:53,417 --> 00:43:54,250
It's annoying.
705
00:44:10,875 --> 00:44:12,164
Warren.
706
00:44:12,166 --> 00:44:13,584
Okay, what did I just say?
707
00:44:15,750 --> 00:44:17,331
Where's the redhead?
708
00:44:17,333 --> 00:44:18,331
What?
709
00:44:39,041 --> 00:44:39,873
Shit, shit, shit, ah,
710
00:44:39,875 --> 00:44:43,164
fucking and shit and
fuck and shit, oh shit.
711
00:44:43,166 --> 00:44:43,998
Shit?
712
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:46,456
How serious of a shit?
713
00:44:46,458 --> 00:44:48,456
Well, it's a really big shit.
714
00:44:48,458 --> 00:44:49,290
What do you mean?
715
00:44:49,292 --> 00:44:50,333
Where did she go?
716
00:44:51,375 --> 00:44:54,292
If I had to guess,
same place we're going.
717
00:44:55,750 --> 00:44:56,584
What now?
718
00:44:57,916 --> 00:44:59,500
We're gonna need a bigger gun.
719
00:45:01,709 --> 00:45:02,542
I get a gun?
720
00:45:04,250 --> 00:45:06,125
Um, maybe.
721
00:45:07,458 --> 00:45:08,292
Yes.
722
00:45:11,250 --> 00:45:12,083
Oh shit.
723
00:45:22,125 --> 00:45:22,956
Kevin.
724
00:45:22,958 --> 00:45:24,540
Hey, I just got off work.
725
00:45:24,542 --> 00:45:27,081
Kevin, vampires exist.
726
00:45:27,083 --> 00:45:30,667
Vampires exist and Van Helsing
just shot one in front of us.
727
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,625
Is this, like, a trailer
for a movie or something?
728
00:45:35,667 --> 00:45:36,998
Just do me a favor, okay?
729
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:40,039
Meet me at 665 Slauson Lane.
730
00:45:40,041 --> 00:45:41,498
What the hell did I miss?
731
00:45:41,500 --> 00:45:43,373
20 minutes.
732
00:45:43,375 --> 00:45:44,206
Jackie.
733
00:45:44,208 --> 00:45:45,375
I gotta go.
734
00:45:50,041 --> 00:45:51,290
Church was locked.
735
00:45:51,292 --> 00:45:52,125
Locked?
736
00:45:53,375 --> 00:45:54,540
So what are we gonna do now?
737
00:45:54,542 --> 00:45:56,709
We need to be there in 20 minutes.
738
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,125
I mean, we could make
our own holy water.
739
00:46:02,584 --> 00:46:03,665
I don't know how to do that,
740
00:46:03,667 --> 00:46:05,041
do you know how to do that?
741
00:46:06,041 --> 00:46:06,875
No.
742
00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:09,375
I'll Google it.
743
00:46:10,375 --> 00:46:11,707
Good idea.
744
00:46:11,709 --> 00:46:12,834
Actually, use wikiHow.
745
00:46:21,625 --> 00:46:22,500
Monica!
746
00:46:25,875 --> 00:46:27,333
Get her to her room, quick.
747
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:29,834
Monica?
748
00:46:32,750 --> 00:46:33,582
What was that thud?
749
00:46:33,584 --> 00:46:36,373
Just Kayla being clumsy.
750
00:46:36,375 --> 00:46:38,206
Can you help me with something upstairs?
751
00:46:38,208 --> 00:46:39,041
Yeah, sure.
752
00:46:41,709 --> 00:46:43,125
Hey, thanks for the shirt.
753
00:46:44,166 --> 00:46:45,500
You gotta chill out, man.
754
00:46:46,792 --> 00:46:49,206
Look, it's just a lot
to take in right now.
755
00:46:49,208 --> 00:46:50,707
I didn't exactly wake you this morning
756
00:46:50,709 --> 00:46:52,292
ready to take on a vampire cult.
757
00:46:53,208 --> 00:46:54,584
I'm talking about Carmen.
758
00:46:59,542 --> 00:47:00,456
See?
759
00:47:00,458 --> 00:47:02,292
That's what I'm talking about.
760
00:47:03,584 --> 00:47:05,041
You just gotta let things go.
761
00:47:06,125 --> 00:47:09,790
Oh yeah, says the girl
who's in love with her.
762
00:47:09,792 --> 00:47:11,834
You know, it's really obvious, by the way.
763
00:47:14,375 --> 00:47:17,834
I like Carmen, okay,
but that doesn't matter,
764
00:47:19,041 --> 00:47:20,625
'cause Carmen dates guys.
765
00:47:22,750 --> 00:47:24,208
Guys like you, Brad.
766
00:47:25,375 --> 00:47:27,208
You just gotta be a little less Brad.
767
00:47:28,625 --> 00:47:30,748
But I am Brad, okay?
768
00:47:30,750 --> 00:47:32,542
My mom always told me to be myself.
769
00:47:34,041 --> 00:47:35,417
That's not what I mean.
770
00:47:37,041 --> 00:47:38,748
Look, I really shouldn't be saying this,
771
00:47:38,750 --> 00:47:40,417
but she thinks that you're clingy.
772
00:47:41,792 --> 00:47:44,914
Well, I can't be clingy now, can I?
773
00:47:44,916 --> 00:47:48,498
Dude, you just gotta let it go.
774
00:47:48,500 --> 00:47:50,039
Like, when I go hang out with Carmen,
775
00:47:50,041 --> 00:47:52,415
you can't act all jealous,
776
00:47:52,417 --> 00:47:53,876
'cause we're just friends.
777
00:47:55,208 --> 00:47:56,834
Well, she likes you, so.
778
00:48:00,333 --> 00:48:01,166
She likes me?
779
00:48:05,667 --> 00:48:08,667
Like, she likes me likes me?
780
00:48:09,834 --> 00:48:10,748
Yeah.
781
00:48:10,750 --> 00:48:12,623
She talks about you all the time.
782
00:48:12,625 --> 00:48:14,790
"Jackie's so funny,"
"Jackie's such a nerd,"
783
00:48:14,792 --> 00:48:16,000
"She's so relatable."
784
00:48:17,667 --> 00:48:19,542
But that doesn't mean she likes me.
785
00:48:21,458 --> 00:48:22,292
She's bi.
786
00:48:27,584 --> 00:48:28,417
Oh.
787
00:48:29,375 --> 00:48:30,456
Yeah.
788
00:48:30,458 --> 00:48:32,832
And you're the reason we broke up.
789
00:48:32,834 --> 00:48:33,667
So.
790
00:48:36,500 --> 00:48:37,875
Well, fuck.
791
00:48:41,083 --> 00:48:43,914
Well, she talks about
you when she's with me,
792
00:48:43,916 --> 00:48:46,125
so I can't blame you.
793
00:48:47,250 --> 00:48:48,083
She does?
794
00:48:48,958 --> 00:48:50,331
Yeah.
795
00:48:50,333 --> 00:48:54,123
Because you're the boyfriend,
and I'm the friend,
796
00:48:54,125 --> 00:48:55,832
so if we're gonna play the sympathy game,
797
00:48:55,834 --> 00:48:57,625
I'm pretty sure I'm the one winning.
798
00:48:59,667 --> 00:49:00,625
It's just tough.
799
00:49:02,667 --> 00:49:05,790
Look, the fact that I'm
the voice of reason right now
800
00:49:05,792 --> 00:49:07,415
is freaking me out,
801
00:49:07,417 --> 00:49:09,665
but you need to pull your shit together,
802
00:49:09,667 --> 00:49:11,873
because it's vampires we're dealing with,
803
00:49:11,875 --> 00:49:15,083
and I'd prefer if we didn't
let Carmen die tonight, okay?
804
00:49:16,166 --> 00:49:17,582
Okay.
805
00:49:17,584 --> 00:49:18,665
Good plan.
806
00:49:18,667 --> 00:49:19,834
Don't let Carmen die.
807
00:49:30,375 --> 00:49:31,914
What are we doing here?
808
00:49:31,916 --> 00:49:33,667
I told you, we need weapons.
809
00:49:35,250 --> 00:49:36,500
This is a hiking trail.
810
00:49:43,625 --> 00:49:45,290
Do me a favor.
811
00:49:45,292 --> 00:49:46,582
Anything.
812
00:49:46,584 --> 00:49:49,250
Stay in the car no matter what, okay?
813
00:50:16,083 --> 00:50:16,916
Oops.
814
00:50:19,125 --> 00:50:19,958
Oh shit.
815
00:50:20,875 --> 00:50:21,709
Warren.
816
00:50:23,584 --> 00:50:24,876
What is that for?
817
00:50:26,292 --> 00:50:27,914
Don't worry about it, okay?
818
00:50:27,916 --> 00:50:29,876
Stay in the car, I'll be right back.
819
00:50:54,667 --> 00:50:56,458
Just stay calm, all right?
820
00:51:00,292 --> 00:51:02,540
What the fuck do you want?
821
00:51:02,542 --> 00:51:04,164
Um,
822
00:51:04,166 --> 00:51:05,125
I need your help.
823
00:51:06,500 --> 00:51:07,832
Obviously.
824
00:51:07,834 --> 00:51:09,625
Must be desperate to come back here.
825
00:51:11,375 --> 00:51:14,375
Good god, is that how
you're getting around now?
826
00:51:16,041 --> 00:51:17,498
Who's the kid?
827
00:51:17,500 --> 00:51:18,417
A hostage?
828
00:51:19,375 --> 00:51:21,415
He's my friend.
829
00:51:21,417 --> 00:51:22,667
I'm sure.
830
00:51:23,834 --> 00:51:25,914
No, seriously, what is he?
831
00:51:25,916 --> 00:51:27,250
A troll of some sort?
832
00:51:28,333 --> 00:51:30,000
He certainly has the hair for it.
833
00:51:30,916 --> 00:51:31,750
Helen.
834
00:51:34,709 --> 00:51:37,417
I need something that
can kill a once bitten.
835
00:51:38,417 --> 00:51:39,540
Where?
836
00:51:39,542 --> 00:51:43,250
Here, tonight, possibly four of them.
837
00:51:44,709 --> 00:51:46,956
You're not dealing
with a follower, are you?
838
00:51:46,958 --> 00:51:48,292
They had the book.
839
00:51:50,166 --> 00:51:51,748
You don't think they're going to try to-
840
00:51:51,750 --> 00:51:54,415
- Well, tonight is a full moon, Helen.
841
00:51:54,417 --> 00:51:56,584
What do you think they're gonna do?
842
00:51:59,792 --> 00:52:01,458
What you need, I don't have.
843
00:52:02,625 --> 00:52:05,375
But, these should help.
844
00:52:09,417 --> 00:52:10,250
Here we go.
845
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:25,208
Take a look, make sure it's all here.
846
00:52:32,458 --> 00:52:33,956
This is it?
847
00:52:33,958 --> 00:52:35,958
You didn't exactly leave much behind.
848
00:52:39,375 --> 00:52:40,500
They miss you, Warren.
849
00:52:43,333 --> 00:52:46,584
Helping a hopeless mortal
won't change what you did.
850
00:52:57,584 --> 00:52:58,417
How is she?
851
00:53:00,166 --> 00:53:01,000
Zoe's dead.
852
00:53:03,417 --> 00:53:04,667
Well, what did she say?
853
00:53:05,542 --> 00:53:07,834
She said something
about a man who shot her.
854
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:09,834
What man?
855
00:53:11,375 --> 00:53:13,208
She died before she could explain.
856
00:53:15,709 --> 00:53:16,667
We can save her.
857
00:53:18,875 --> 00:53:20,206
How?
858
00:53:20,208 --> 00:53:21,498
We could use the book.
859
00:53:21,500 --> 00:53:23,206
We could resurrect her tonight instead of-
860
00:53:23,208 --> 00:53:24,041
- Kayla.
861
00:53:26,667 --> 00:53:28,292
Layla, go check on Carmen.
862
00:53:37,166 --> 00:53:39,083
Are you losing sight of the objective?
863
00:53:40,417 --> 00:53:42,582
I just thought we could
wait until the next full moon,
864
00:53:42,584 --> 00:53:45,206
and save her while there's still time.
865
00:53:45,208 --> 00:53:47,206
We don't have time.
866
00:53:47,208 --> 00:53:49,000
We have anything but time, Kayla.
867
00:53:50,083 --> 00:53:51,542
Zoe knew that and she failed.
868
00:53:53,750 --> 00:53:55,415
Look at my face.
869
00:53:55,417 --> 00:53:56,625
My time is almost up.
870
00:53:58,208 --> 00:53:59,790
I cannot wait another full moon,
871
00:53:59,792 --> 00:54:02,331
or no amount of face masks or creams
872
00:54:02,333 --> 00:54:04,415
or fucking foundation will save my career,
873
00:54:04,417 --> 00:54:05,375
do you understand?
874
00:54:07,750 --> 00:54:10,707
Monica, you're only 26.
875
00:54:10,709 --> 00:54:11,792
Exactly.
876
00:54:12,667 --> 00:54:16,248
You do not want what I have
to deal with every day.
877
00:54:16,250 --> 00:54:18,331
To see yourself growing
older and losing jobs
878
00:54:18,333 --> 00:54:20,250
because you're no longer young enough.
879
00:54:22,750 --> 00:54:26,164
Well, Jackie's gone.
880
00:54:26,166 --> 00:54:27,914
How are we gonna get her back?
881
00:54:27,916 --> 00:54:28,916
She'll be back.
882
00:54:30,083 --> 00:54:31,333
They always come back.
883
00:54:32,542 --> 00:54:33,375
Monica,
884
00:54:34,500 --> 00:54:35,584
they're idiots.
885
00:54:42,625 --> 00:54:44,292
Hi, is Jackie here?
886
00:54:48,417 --> 00:54:52,208
So vampirism is like an STD?
887
00:54:53,250 --> 00:54:54,875
In layman's terms, yes.
888
00:54:57,125 --> 00:54:58,164
Gross.
889
00:54:58,166 --> 00:55:01,248
A vampire can always
chose to turn a mortal,
890
00:55:01,250 --> 00:55:04,623
but the bitten always possess
less power than who bit them,
891
00:55:04,625 --> 00:55:06,748
do you understand what I'm saying?
892
00:55:06,750 --> 00:55:10,000
But, I mean, I mean, you've
don't this before, right?
893
00:55:11,292 --> 00:55:14,625
Um, I've never killed a once bitten.
894
00:55:18,208 --> 00:55:19,039
Well fuck.
895
00:55:19,041 --> 00:55:20,956
Hey, watch your mouth, man.
896
00:55:20,958 --> 00:55:21,792
Sorry.
897
00:55:37,292 --> 00:55:40,041
Hey, we might die tonight.
898
00:55:41,750 --> 00:55:43,248
So you gotta enjoy it.
899
00:55:50,166 --> 00:55:51,415
See?
900
00:55:51,417 --> 00:55:52,250
Relax.
901
00:56:06,041 --> 00:56:07,709
There's the house.
902
00:56:09,834 --> 00:56:11,998
- What's up, buddy?
- Jesus, man.
903
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:13,790
Hey, Brad.
904
00:56:13,792 --> 00:56:15,748
We got the holy water.
905
00:56:15,750 --> 00:56:17,333
Wait till you see what we got.
906
00:56:20,417 --> 00:56:21,250
All right.
907
00:56:22,375 --> 00:56:24,290
Baseball bat dipped in silver.
908
00:56:24,292 --> 00:56:25,542
Oh yeah, that'll be me.
909
00:56:28,792 --> 00:56:29,832
Crowbar.
910
00:56:29,834 --> 00:56:31,415
Dibs?
911
00:56:31,417 --> 00:56:32,540
You sure?
912
00:56:32,542 --> 00:56:33,958
Yeah, I said dibs.
913
00:56:35,166 --> 00:56:36,000
All right.
914
00:56:39,125 --> 00:56:40,081
Jesus.
915
00:56:40,083 --> 00:56:42,331
Okay, there we go.
916
00:56:42,333 --> 00:56:43,290
Yes.
917
00:56:43,292 --> 00:56:44,958
- Yours.
- Thank you.
918
00:56:45,834 --> 00:56:47,248
Wait.
919
00:56:47,250 --> 00:56:48,290
And this.
920
00:56:48,292 --> 00:56:49,125
Oh, nice.
921
00:56:50,750 --> 00:56:52,415
You get a rifle?
922
00:56:52,417 --> 00:56:53,415
Yeah.
923
00:56:53,417 --> 00:56:54,292
You called dibs.
924
00:56:55,333 --> 00:56:56,166
What are those?
925
00:56:57,584 --> 00:56:58,667
Hand grenades.
926
00:57:00,709 --> 00:57:01,584
Can we trade?
927
00:57:02,500 --> 00:57:03,331
Please?
928
00:57:03,333 --> 00:57:04,748
You called dibs.
929
00:57:04,750 --> 00:57:05,707
You can't take back dibs.
930
00:57:05,709 --> 00:57:08,331
Hang on, you, you didn't
tell us what was in the box.
931
00:57:08,333 --> 00:57:09,582
I wouldn't have chosen a baseball bat
932
00:57:09,584 --> 00:57:11,456
if I knew there were grenades in the box.
933
00:57:11,458 --> 00:57:13,790
You wanna give that bat back?
934
00:57:13,792 --> 00:57:14,625
No.
935
00:57:17,875 --> 00:57:18,709
Too bad, huh?
936
00:57:19,958 --> 00:57:21,832
All right, all right, listen up.
937
00:57:21,834 --> 00:57:25,123
The objective is to keep Cameron safe
938
00:57:25,125 --> 00:57:26,665
until after midnight.
939
00:57:26,667 --> 00:57:28,039
It's Carmen.
940
00:57:28,041 --> 00:57:29,498
That doesn't matter,
941
00:57:29,500 --> 00:57:32,248
'cause they're gonna have to
perform the ritual at midnight,
942
00:57:32,250 --> 00:57:34,542
so we're just not gonna
let that happen, got it?
943
00:57:35,834 --> 00:57:37,123
Pretty straightforward.
944
00:57:37,125 --> 00:57:38,039
Yeah.
945
00:57:38,041 --> 00:57:39,456
All right, here's the plan.
946
00:57:39,458 --> 00:57:40,748
The kid and I,
947
00:57:40,750 --> 00:57:42,584
we'll flank either side of...
948
00:57:43,500 --> 00:57:44,331
Kevin.
949
00:57:44,333 --> 00:57:45,790
Hi Jackie.
950
00:57:45,792 --> 00:57:47,790
Kevin, are you still coming?
951
00:57:47,792 --> 00:57:49,125
I'm, I'm already here.
952
00:57:50,458 --> 00:57:51,417
What do you mean?
953
00:57:53,041 --> 00:57:53,956
I don't see you.
954
00:57:53,958 --> 00:57:55,542
I'm inside with your friends.
955
00:57:56,458 --> 00:57:57,748
You're what?
956
00:57:57,750 --> 00:57:58,623
Yeah, I mean, I didn't know
957
00:57:58,625 --> 00:57:59,623
what you were talking about earlier,
958
00:57:59,625 --> 00:58:01,584
but everyone here seems super nice.
959
00:58:06,041 --> 00:58:09,290
You're inside the house?
960
00:58:09,292 --> 00:58:11,540
Yeah, I mean, Carmen's here too.
961
00:58:11,542 --> 00:58:14,623
Okay, Kevin, I'm gonna
need you to stay calm.
962
00:58:14,625 --> 00:58:17,709
You need to get Carmen
and go out the front door.
963
00:58:18,584 --> 00:58:20,123
Oh wait, hold on, Monica
wants to talk to you.
964
00:58:20,125 --> 00:58:21,039
Kevin.
965
00:58:21,041 --> 00:58:24,707
So anyway, so I play like
eight different roles, okay?
966
00:58:24,709 --> 00:58:25,584
Hi Jackie.
967
00:58:26,458 --> 00:58:29,375
Jackie cannot
come to the phone right now.
968
00:58:30,834 --> 00:58:32,123
Who's this?
969
00:58:32,125 --> 00:58:34,248
Well, let's just say,
970
00:58:34,250 --> 00:58:37,958
I'm an acquaintance of
your freaky redhead friend.
971
00:58:40,542 --> 00:58:43,623
Why don thank you stop by
so we can have a little chat?
972
00:58:43,625 --> 00:58:45,208
I'll be right over.
973
00:58:47,958 --> 00:58:51,916
If your friend dies tonight,
it's gonna be your fault.
974
00:58:54,166 --> 00:58:56,123
You didn't tell Kevin
about the vampires?
975
00:58:56,125 --> 00:58:57,415
No.
976
00:58:57,417 --> 00:59:00,956
I was going to, but it's a bit
much to explain on the phone.
977
00:59:00,958 --> 00:59:03,123
You knew Kevin's extremely punctual.
978
00:59:03,125 --> 00:59:03,958
Shut up.
979
00:59:06,916 --> 00:59:10,415
All right, all right,
time for a new plan, okay?
980
00:59:15,958 --> 00:59:16,792
Hi.
981
00:59:24,083 --> 00:59:26,123
What do we do now?
982
00:59:26,125 --> 00:59:27,748
I don't know.
983
00:59:27,750 --> 00:59:28,958
The plan keeps changing.
984
00:59:33,083 --> 00:59:34,292
Your friends are here.
985
00:59:37,292 --> 00:59:38,998
Whoa!
986
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:40,582
Hey, Kevin.
987
00:59:40,584 --> 00:59:42,914
What the fuck are you guys doing?
988
00:59:42,916 --> 00:59:44,834
We're here to rescue you and Carmen.
989
00:59:46,834 --> 00:59:48,081
From what?
990
00:59:48,083 --> 00:59:49,375
The vampires, Kev.
991
00:59:53,875 --> 00:59:54,792
Thank god.
992
00:59:56,500 --> 00:59:57,375
Where's Carmen?
993
00:59:58,750 --> 01:00:00,164
She's in her room.
994
01:00:00,166 --> 01:00:02,000
I don't believe you.
995
01:00:04,083 --> 01:00:04,916
Carmen?
996
01:00:11,875 --> 01:00:13,623
What the hell is going on?
997
01:00:13,625 --> 01:00:14,958
You're being rescued.
998
01:00:16,750 --> 01:00:17,584
Brad?
999
01:00:18,500 --> 01:00:19,333
Hey.
1000
01:00:24,250 --> 01:00:26,415
We're losing Brad, we gotta go.
1001
01:00:26,417 --> 01:00:27,998
Kevin, Carmen, get behind us,
1002
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:29,707
we're gonna leave before this gets ugly.
1003
01:00:29,709 --> 01:00:32,123
Jackie, have you fucking lost your mind?
1004
01:00:32,125 --> 01:00:33,623
No, it's true, look.
1005
01:00:34,542 --> 01:00:36,123
Oh my god!
1006
01:00:37,625 --> 01:00:39,456
Oh my god.
1007
01:00:39,458 --> 01:00:40,415
I know, it's crazy, right?
1008
01:00:40,417 --> 01:00:43,290
I think it's time you got outta here.
1009
01:00:43,292 --> 01:00:44,958
You're not going anywhere.
1010
01:00:54,958 --> 01:00:56,206
Shit.
1011
01:00:56,208 --> 01:00:57,748
How do you load it?
1012
01:00:57,750 --> 01:01:01,206
Nobody's leaving until
the sacrifice is complete.
1013
01:01:01,208 --> 01:01:02,873
You're not sacrificing my friend.
1014
01:01:08,041 --> 01:01:08,876
Jackie.
1015
01:01:10,458 --> 01:01:12,041
It's heavy, okay?
1016
01:01:13,542 --> 01:01:15,375
It's amazing you're still a virgin.
1017
01:01:16,875 --> 01:01:17,998
Me?
1018
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:19,790
I'm not a virgin.
1019
01:01:19,792 --> 01:01:20,834
You're, you're not?
1020
01:01:22,875 --> 01:01:24,750
Who did you think this was all for?
1021
01:01:25,834 --> 01:01:27,331
Carmen.
1022
01:01:27,333 --> 01:01:28,208
Carmen's a virgin.
1023
01:01:29,250 --> 01:01:31,540
I'm not a virgin.
1024
01:01:31,542 --> 01:01:33,206
You're not?
1025
01:01:33,208 --> 01:01:34,041
You're not?
1026
01:01:35,083 --> 01:01:36,790
Shut up.
1027
01:01:36,792 --> 01:01:38,458
Everybody shut up.
1028
01:01:42,458 --> 01:01:44,290
I'll allow your friends to leave unharmed
1029
01:01:44,292 --> 01:01:45,417
if you come quietly.
1030
01:01:46,375 --> 01:01:48,292
I'll only make this offer once.
1031
01:01:49,208 --> 01:01:50,041
I can't.
1032
01:01:51,166 --> 01:01:52,000
Kayla.
1033
01:01:56,709 --> 01:01:57,956
No, wait!
1034
01:01:59,417 --> 01:02:02,248
You have really nice teeth.
1035
01:02:02,250 --> 01:02:03,083
Thank you.
1036
01:02:04,667 --> 01:02:06,498
So, are you coming?
1037
01:02:06,500 --> 01:02:08,039
Or do I have to kill everyone here?
1038
01:02:08,041 --> 01:02:09,707
I'm not a virgin.
1039
01:02:09,709 --> 01:02:11,290
Liar.
1040
01:02:11,292 --> 01:02:12,331
I can smell it.
1041
01:02:12,333 --> 01:02:14,832
I swear, if you sacrifice me,
1042
01:02:14,834 --> 01:02:16,373
none of this is gonna work,
1043
01:02:16,375 --> 01:02:18,041
and it's all gonna be for nothing.
1044
01:02:19,417 --> 01:02:20,584
When did this happen?
1045
01:02:21,625 --> 01:02:23,998
Mike McKenzie, sophomore year.
1046
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:25,456
Oh fuck, that's right.
1047
01:02:25,458 --> 01:02:27,290
Somebody here is a virgin,
1048
01:02:27,292 --> 01:02:30,206
and I will kill every last
one of you if I need to.
1049
01:02:30,208 --> 01:02:33,415
Fine, it's me, I'm the virgin.
1050
01:02:33,417 --> 01:02:34,623
I'm so sorry that I was brought up
1051
01:02:34,625 --> 01:02:35,790
in a household with values.
1052
01:02:35,792 --> 01:02:37,582
I didn't know everyone was
gonna make such a big deal-
1053
01:02:40,709 --> 01:02:41,542
Brad!
1054
01:02:43,834 --> 01:02:44,667
Carmen?
1055
01:02:46,458 --> 01:02:47,375
Sorry, Jackie.
1056
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:55,709
Layla, help Carmen.
1057
01:03:01,375 --> 01:03:04,456
Oh god, ow, shit!
1058
01:03:04,458 --> 01:03:07,292
Oh, ow, god, that hurts so bad!
1059
01:03:08,834 --> 01:03:11,456
I, I am so sorry.
1060
01:03:11,458 --> 01:03:13,498
I don't condone violence against women,
1061
01:03:13,500 --> 01:03:17,582
but you, you two fucking suck.
1062
01:03:17,584 --> 01:03:18,417
God.
1063
01:03:19,333 --> 01:03:20,748
Wait!
1064
01:03:20,750 --> 01:03:21,914
We gotta go, Sam.
1065
01:03:21,916 --> 01:03:23,456
We can't leave.
1066
01:03:23,458 --> 01:03:25,707
Yes we can, just get in the car.
1067
01:03:25,709 --> 01:03:27,707
No, Warren and Brad
are still in the house.
1068
01:03:27,709 --> 01:03:29,375
And if we leave now, they'll die.
1069
01:03:30,584 --> 01:03:31,832
Fuck.
1070
01:03:31,834 --> 01:03:34,748
Well, your first rescue
mission sucked balls,
1071
01:03:34,750 --> 01:03:35,792
so what do we do now?
1072
01:03:43,083 --> 01:03:43,916
Kayla.
1073
01:03:44,750 --> 01:03:45,584
There's no time.
1074
01:03:46,792 --> 01:03:48,208
We'll worry about them later.
1075
01:04:12,834 --> 01:04:14,164
From where thou was,
1076
01:04:14,166 --> 01:04:16,206
take he with to return.
1077
01:04:16,208 --> 01:04:18,248
Take thy soul and return
1078
01:04:18,250 --> 01:04:19,998
the body that was once ye,
1079
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:22,041
for these words to set thou free.
1080
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:27,039
With the power of the
ancestors and moon in decline,
1081
01:04:27,041 --> 01:04:28,916
return to what was once yours.
1082
01:04:29,958 --> 01:04:32,582
Eyes of blue, return to my ark realm.
1083
01:04:32,584 --> 01:04:35,039
With the light of the moon
and blood of this dope,
1084
01:04:35,041 --> 01:04:37,415
allow these words and power to intertwine.
1085
01:04:37,417 --> 01:04:39,417
Return thy soul to that which is mine.
1086
01:04:48,333 --> 01:04:49,166
Did it work?
1087
01:04:50,792 --> 01:04:51,667
Patience.
1088
01:05:22,166 --> 01:05:23,041
Welcome back.
1089
01:05:24,792 --> 01:05:26,707
I feel weak.
1090
01:05:26,709 --> 01:05:28,584
How long since I drew my last breath?
1091
01:05:29,875 --> 01:05:31,041
200 years.
1092
01:05:35,875 --> 01:05:37,208
Things have changed.
1093
01:05:40,333 --> 01:05:41,166
Dracula.
1094
01:05:43,542 --> 01:05:45,458
Your resurrection was for a purpose.
1095
01:05:47,125 --> 01:05:48,584
We wish for eternal youth.
1096
01:05:49,875 --> 01:05:52,166
As my brides, I will
grant you such power.
1097
01:05:54,375 --> 01:05:55,250
Your brides?
1098
01:05:56,292 --> 01:05:59,456
You must first pledge
your body and souls to me.
1099
01:05:59,458 --> 01:06:01,375
Worship me, serve me.
1100
01:06:02,625 --> 01:06:06,083
Um, yeah, no, that sounds
a bit like slavery to me.
1101
01:06:06,958 --> 01:06:08,456
You should be grateful.
1102
01:06:08,458 --> 01:06:10,417
To serve me is your true purpose.
1103
01:06:11,333 --> 01:06:13,834
Um, no, I don't think so.
1104
01:06:14,875 --> 01:06:16,584
You dare disobey your master?
1105
01:06:17,958 --> 01:06:19,250
You're not our master.
1106
01:06:20,625 --> 01:06:23,500
Never has a follower
disrespected me as you do.
1107
01:06:24,750 --> 01:06:26,832
We brought you back to life,
1108
01:06:26,834 --> 01:06:28,914
we deserve what we asked for.
1109
01:06:28,916 --> 01:06:29,914
Deserve?
1110
01:06:29,916 --> 01:06:33,123
Your witchcraft gives you the
right to demand from Dracula?
1111
01:06:33,125 --> 01:06:34,792
You owe us your life now.
1112
01:06:36,625 --> 01:06:38,164
Eternal youth.
1113
01:06:38,166 --> 01:06:40,498
Why do you demand such a curse?
1114
01:06:40,500 --> 01:06:41,542
We're models.
1115
01:06:42,834 --> 01:06:43,667
You're what?
1116
01:06:44,625 --> 01:06:46,707
We earn a living through
modeling and brand deals.
1117
01:06:46,709 --> 01:06:49,456
Staying young forever would
skyrocket our careers.
1118
01:06:49,458 --> 01:06:52,373
I have half a million
followers on Instagram.
1119
01:06:52,375 --> 01:06:55,248
What devilish world have
you brought me back to?
1120
01:06:55,250 --> 01:06:56,164
Give us what we want,
1121
01:06:56,166 --> 01:06:58,956
or we'll send you right
back to where you came from.
1122
01:06:58,958 --> 01:07:01,123
You dare threaten Dracula?
1123
01:07:01,125 --> 01:07:02,665
I am all powerful.
1124
01:07:02,667 --> 01:07:03,498
Tonight will be-
1125
01:07:09,417 --> 01:07:11,041
I remembered how to reload it.
1126
01:07:12,166 --> 01:07:15,456
This is not how this
night was supposed to go.
1127
01:07:15,458 --> 01:07:17,415
Brad was a beautiful human being.
1128
01:07:17,417 --> 01:07:19,456
Put the gun down, Jackie.
1129
01:07:19,458 --> 01:07:20,667
We're friends, remember?
1130
01:07:22,458 --> 01:07:23,750
Fuck off, Carmen.
1131
01:07:26,458 --> 01:07:27,874
Kill them.
1132
01:07:29,709 --> 01:07:30,542
Run.
1133
01:07:31,625 --> 01:07:32,958
Shit, oh shit!
1134
01:07:40,041 --> 01:07:42,707
Jesus, fuck, Jesus!
1135
01:07:46,834 --> 01:07:48,584
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
1136
01:07:50,208 --> 01:07:51,873
You bitch.
1137
01:07:51,875 --> 01:07:52,998
I, I, I, I'm not a bitch,
1138
01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:54,958
you're, you're a bitch.
1139
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:56,832
Oh shit.
1140
01:07:59,542 --> 01:08:01,081
Hi.
1141
01:08:01,083 --> 01:08:01,998
Hi.
1142
01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:03,707
You're very pretty.
1143
01:08:03,709 --> 01:08:04,584
Thanks.
1144
01:08:05,500 --> 01:08:07,914
Your eyebrows are shaped nicely,
1145
01:08:07,916 --> 01:08:09,582
and your face is attractive too.
1146
01:08:09,584 --> 01:08:11,500
Thank you, that means a lot.
1147
01:08:15,625 --> 01:08:18,164
Jackie.
1148
01:08:37,584 --> 01:08:40,164
Wake up, wake up!
1149
01:08:40,166 --> 01:08:41,958
Wake up, you worthless fossil.
1150
01:08:42,958 --> 01:08:43,792
Wake up!
1151
01:08:47,333 --> 01:08:48,750
Come on, let's go.
1152
01:08:53,667 --> 01:08:55,000
How do you like that, huh?
1153
01:09:02,584 --> 01:09:04,916
Oh shit.
1154
01:09:08,250 --> 01:09:09,417
Oh fuck, shit.
1155
01:09:11,667 --> 01:09:13,164
What the fuck do I do with this thing?
1156
01:09:13,166 --> 01:09:16,290
My fucking Brandy Melville cardigan?
1157
01:09:25,584 --> 01:09:26,417
Ew.
1158
01:09:27,375 --> 01:09:30,081
I'm not very good with women, you know.
1159
01:09:30,083 --> 01:09:30,956
I'm pretty shy.
1160
01:09:30,958 --> 01:09:32,540
That's nice.
1161
01:09:32,542 --> 01:09:35,665
I'm gonna kill you now,
but it's nothing personal.
1162
01:09:35,667 --> 01:09:37,333
I understand, but,
1163
01:09:38,500 --> 01:09:39,748
can I ask one thing?
1164
01:09:39,750 --> 01:09:41,331
What?
1165
01:09:41,333 --> 01:09:42,166
A kiss.
1166
01:09:43,250 --> 01:09:46,707
I'm a literally about to
be killed by you, so...
1167
01:09:46,709 --> 01:09:47,542
Fine.
1168
01:09:52,500 --> 01:09:53,331
Ta da!
1169
01:10:13,876 --> 01:10:14,709
Oh.
1170
01:10:23,333 --> 01:10:24,166
Sorry.
1171
01:10:32,500 --> 01:10:34,041
Jackie.
1172
01:10:37,292 --> 01:10:39,208
Where are you?
1173
01:10:42,584 --> 01:10:44,248
Wake up.
1174
01:10:44,250 --> 01:10:46,039
Wake up.
1175
01:10:46,041 --> 01:10:47,914
Wake up.
1176
01:10:47,916 --> 01:10:49,456
Wake up.
1177
01:10:52,584 --> 01:10:54,916
I grant you eternal youth.
1178
01:11:03,542 --> 01:11:07,998
If you come out now, I
promise I won't hurt you.
1179
01:11:12,834 --> 01:11:14,916
I'm getting impatient, Jackie.
1180
01:11:19,125 --> 01:11:20,500
Where the fuck are you?
1181
01:11:28,584 --> 01:11:29,458
Howdy, neighbor.
1182
01:11:46,667 --> 01:11:47,500
Whoa.
1183
01:11:50,584 --> 01:11:51,415
Jackie.
1184
01:11:51,417 --> 01:11:52,250
I'm up here.
1185
01:11:53,625 --> 01:11:54,458
Guys.
1186
01:11:56,916 --> 01:11:57,750
Oh my god.
1187
01:12:02,333 --> 01:12:03,166
Warren!
1188
01:12:06,166 --> 01:12:07,748
Warren.
1189
01:12:07,750 --> 01:12:08,584
Wake up, buddy.
1190
01:12:10,333 --> 01:12:11,458
Here, we'll try this.
1191
01:12:26,500 --> 01:12:27,456
What's happening?
1192
01:12:27,458 --> 01:12:28,873
Relax.
1193
01:12:28,875 --> 01:12:29,709
They're all dead.
1194
01:12:30,958 --> 01:12:33,206
But, they're dead?
1195
01:12:33,208 --> 01:12:34,041
Yeah.
1196
01:12:36,166 --> 01:12:37,123
How?
1197
01:12:37,125 --> 01:12:39,582
Well, I blew one up with a grenade,
1198
01:12:39,584 --> 01:12:41,498
and Kevin stabbed the other one with...
1199
01:12:41,500 --> 01:12:42,790
A crowbar.
1200
01:12:42,792 --> 01:12:47,665
Really big crowbar, just,
1201
01:12:47,667 --> 01:12:48,500
bitch.
1202
01:12:50,958 --> 01:12:52,500
And you killed Carmen, right?
1203
01:12:53,792 --> 01:12:54,625
Yeah.
1204
01:12:55,750 --> 01:12:58,667
Um, I sprayed her with holy water.
1205
01:12:59,709 --> 01:13:01,041
Did not work.
1206
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:03,248
At all.
1207
01:13:03,250 --> 01:13:04,709
Then I shot her in the face.
1208
01:13:06,417 --> 01:13:07,250
Huh.
1209
01:13:08,750 --> 01:13:10,250
How about the other one?
1210
01:13:12,250 --> 01:13:14,000
Dracula killed her.
1211
01:13:15,041 --> 01:13:16,415
I'm sorry?
1212
01:13:16,417 --> 01:13:17,834
Did you say Dracula?
1213
01:13:19,166 --> 01:13:20,000
Seriously?
1214
01:13:34,458 --> 01:13:36,790
So Brad was a virgin, huh?
1215
01:13:36,792 --> 01:13:37,625
Yeah.
1216
01:13:38,709 --> 01:13:41,292
It took 50 men to defeat Dracula.
1217
01:13:42,417 --> 01:13:43,709
Now he's on the loose.
1218
01:13:47,458 --> 01:13:48,956
It's your birthright, isn't it?
1219
01:13:48,958 --> 01:13:50,456
To kill Dracula.
1220
01:13:50,458 --> 01:13:52,125
Oh, it is now I guess.
1221
01:13:58,375 --> 01:13:59,208
Thanks.
1222
01:14:00,250 --> 01:14:01,083
For what?
1223
01:14:01,958 --> 01:14:04,998
For making me feel a part of this.
1224
01:14:05,000 --> 01:14:08,500
Even though I'm not, I have
no idea what's going on.
1225
01:14:10,125 --> 01:14:11,250
It's still pretty cool.
1226
01:14:12,667 --> 01:14:13,875
Yeah, right.
1227
01:14:18,375 --> 01:14:20,123
You need any help with this?
1228
01:14:20,125 --> 01:14:20,956
No, no, no.
1229
01:14:20,958 --> 01:14:22,290
No, no, I can take care of it,
1230
01:14:22,292 --> 01:14:24,123
so you just get outta here.
1231
01:14:24,125 --> 01:14:24,956
Right.
1232
01:14:24,958 --> 01:14:25,792
Just go.
1233
01:14:26,958 --> 01:14:27,792
If you say so.
1234
01:14:30,584 --> 01:14:31,873
Hey Sam.
1235
01:14:31,875 --> 01:14:32,709
Yo.
1236
01:14:33,750 --> 01:14:36,709
Are you gonna become an
accountant like your father?
1237
01:14:38,667 --> 01:14:39,500
I don't know.
1238
01:14:41,292 --> 01:14:42,956
Probably.
1239
01:14:42,958 --> 01:14:43,876
All right, um,
1240
01:14:45,333 --> 01:14:47,250
if you decide not to,
1241
01:14:49,125 --> 01:14:51,667
maybe you can come work for me, you know?
1242
01:14:54,292 --> 01:14:55,415
Yes!
1243
01:14:55,417 --> 01:14:56,623
Yes, yes!
1244
01:14:56,625 --> 01:14:57,623
Yes.
1245
01:14:57,625 --> 01:14:59,331
- Yes.
- Oh shit,
1246
01:14:59,333 --> 01:15:00,458
can't take it back now.
1247
01:15:02,500 --> 01:15:04,834
So, what's your deal, man?
1248
01:15:07,834 --> 01:15:10,623
My high school crush
was a psycho vampire
1249
01:15:10,625 --> 01:15:12,000
that I shot in the face.
1250
01:15:13,125 --> 01:15:15,083
No, I meant between us.
1251
01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:17,206
You've seemed really bummed out lately,
1252
01:15:17,208 --> 01:15:19,542
and I just, I just wanna
make sure you're cool.
1253
01:15:24,584 --> 01:15:27,834
Yeah, I just don't wanna
lose my best friends, you know?
1254
01:15:29,834 --> 01:15:31,584
You're not gonna lose us, Jackie.
1255
01:15:34,750 --> 01:15:37,208
I just don't want
things to, like, change.
1256
01:15:38,375 --> 01:15:40,373
This is a stupid conversation.
1257
01:15:40,375 --> 01:15:41,290
I know.
1258
01:15:41,292 --> 01:15:45,623
No, I mean, we just killed three people.
1259
01:15:45,625 --> 01:15:47,834
I mean, sure, they were
vampires, but shit.
1260
01:15:48,834 --> 01:15:51,123
I mean, nothing is gonna
be the same from now on
1261
01:15:51,125 --> 01:15:54,375
except for the fact that we
will always be best friends.
1262
01:15:56,417 --> 01:15:58,832
Not to mention, somehow,
1263
01:15:58,834 --> 01:16:02,039
Dracula's running around
in Brad's body, and...
1264
01:16:08,375 --> 01:16:09,748
Is everyone damn hungry?
1265
01:16:09,750 --> 01:16:12,041
I am fucking starving.
1266
01:16:13,292 --> 01:16:14,623
Let's go.
1267
01:16:14,625 --> 01:16:16,665
Okay, so what about McDonald's?
1268
01:16:16,667 --> 01:16:17,998
They're open 24 hours.
1269
01:16:18,000 --> 01:16:19,373
McDonald's?
1270
01:16:19,375 --> 01:16:20,623
What's wrong with McDonald's?
1271
01:16:20,625 --> 01:16:22,164
I don't eat fast food.
1272
01:16:22,166 --> 01:16:23,832
How do you not eat fast food?
1273
01:16:23,834 --> 01:16:25,373
I'm a healthy guy, you know that.
1274
01:16:25,375 --> 01:16:26,956
What do you eat, grass?
1275
01:16:26,958 --> 01:16:28,623
Only on Saturdays.
1276
01:16:28,625 --> 01:16:30,081
Jesus.
1277
01:16:30,083 --> 01:16:32,498
All right, well Burger King?
1278
01:16:32,500 --> 01:16:34,914
We can go to Wilson Burger.
1279
01:16:51,750 --> 01:16:52,665
Shit.
1280
01:16:52,667 --> 01:16:56,456
Stop dying, you have a shield, use it.
1281
01:16:56,458 --> 01:16:58,998
At least I'm not hiding
in a tree hut somewhere.
1282
01:16:59,000 --> 01:17:01,290
Don't shit on my strategy.
1283
01:17:01,292 --> 01:17:02,873
I don't even know where
either of you two are,
1284
01:17:02,875 --> 01:17:04,707
'cause I'm up here killing shit.
1285
01:17:04,709 --> 01:17:07,665
Yeah, it's 'cause you got
a hero right out the gate.
1286
01:17:07,667 --> 01:17:08,873
Sam doesn't have the balls
1287
01:17:08,875 --> 01:17:11,373
to be anything but a hero character.
1288
01:17:11,375 --> 01:17:13,331
Get on my level, then come talk to me.
1289
01:17:13,333 --> 01:17:15,914
My, my mom wants to know if you guys
1290
01:17:15,916 --> 01:17:19,164
developed any dietary restrictions.
1291
01:17:19,166 --> 01:17:20,081
Nope.
1292
01:17:20,083 --> 01:17:21,125
Bring the turkey!
1293
01:17:23,792 --> 01:17:25,248
Gotta go, got a call.
1294
01:17:25,250 --> 01:17:26,333
Sam, you suck balls.
1295
01:17:27,375 --> 01:17:29,456
Best Pest Control, this is Sam.
1296
01:17:29,458 --> 01:17:31,081
Hi, it's me.
1297
01:17:31,083 --> 01:17:31,916
Hey.
1298
01:17:32,875 --> 01:17:33,748
Are you okay?
1299
01:17:33,750 --> 01:17:35,164
Oh, I'm fine.
1300
01:17:35,166 --> 01:17:37,665
Some wild dog cut up some sheep,
1301
01:17:37,667 --> 01:17:39,417
but I think I'm getting closer.
1302
01:17:41,208 --> 01:17:43,582
There's something I need to tell you.
1303
01:17:43,584 --> 01:17:44,417
What?
1304
01:17:45,750 --> 01:17:48,542
You know how I told
you about Brad's parents?
1305
01:17:51,834 --> 01:17:53,542
They haven't reported him missing.
1306
01:17:54,709 --> 01:17:56,125
Why wouldn't they do that?
1307
01:17:57,417 --> 01:17:59,164
See, that's what I wanted to know,
1308
01:17:59,166 --> 01:18:01,832
so I stole their mail.
1309
01:18:01,834 --> 01:18:04,415
Hey Sam, what do you think you're doing?
1310
01:18:04,417 --> 01:18:08,164
Warren, someone is sending
letters to his parents as Brad.
1311
01:18:08,166 --> 01:18:09,415
Whoa.
1312
01:18:09,417 --> 01:18:11,208
Where are those letters coming from?
1313
01:18:16,250 --> 01:18:17,625
There's no return address.
1314
01:18:21,709 --> 01:18:24,081
Warren, is there something wrong?
1315
01:18:24,083 --> 01:18:26,542
I'll be back in town in
the morning, all right?
1316
01:18:27,916 --> 01:18:30,373
That thing you were looking for,
1317
01:18:30,375 --> 01:18:32,998
I couldn't find it in the
field journal you gave me.
1318
01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:35,083
I wouldn't worry about it anymore, Sam.
1319
01:18:38,083 --> 01:18:39,208
All right.
1320
01:18:40,667 --> 01:18:41,667
Well, get some rest.
1321
01:18:42,834 --> 01:18:43,667
Thanks.
1322
01:19:18,303 --> 01:19:23,303
Provided by explosiveskull
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