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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,001 --> 00:00:13,001 Sync & corrections by Costa Dax www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:17,914 --> 00:00:19,992 Oh hi, Sally. 3 00:00:20,067 --> 00:00:21,067 It's Mary. 4 00:00:23,187 --> 00:00:26,192 Well, actually I was wondering whether 5 00:00:26,267 --> 00:00:29,839 we should take the Brownies somewhere else this weekend. 6 00:00:29,914 --> 00:00:30,999 Oh, no reason. 7 00:00:32,107 --> 00:00:34,279 No, nothing to do with work. 8 00:00:35,387 --> 00:00:36,387 Oh gosh. 9 00:00:37,481 --> 00:00:40,177 Well, anywhere really. 10 00:00:45,401 --> 00:00:46,839 Shetland? 11 00:00:58,987 --> 00:01:00,992 And in short, that's why I have to sleep 12 00:01:01,067 --> 00:01:02,239 completely naked. 13 00:01:04,347 --> 00:01:05,952 Well, that's good to know. 14 00:01:06,027 --> 00:01:07,363 Okay, so just to remind everyone, 15 00:01:07,387 --> 00:01:08,919 we're still on Amber alert following 16 00:01:08,994 --> 00:01:10,272 the poisoned water attacks 17 00:01:10,347 --> 00:01:12,192 that took place in Paris over the weekend. 18 00:01:12,267 --> 00:01:13,312 How far is Paris? 19 00:01:13,387 --> 00:01:15,466 Aside from Paris, what else is going on, Joseph? 20 00:01:15,467 --> 00:01:16,872 Do we have a systems update? 21 00:01:16,947 --> 00:01:18,592 Yes, not great I'm afraid. 22 00:01:18,667 --> 00:01:20,667 Tuva's already looking into who might be behind it. 23 00:01:20,691 --> 00:01:22,972 But we had an attack on one of our own servers last night. 24 00:01:22,973 --> 00:01:24,452 - Oh, fucking tense! - I know. 25 00:01:24,527 --> 00:01:25,952 When exactly did it happen? 26 00:01:26,027 --> 00:01:28,097 No! 27 00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:29,321 Attention please. 28 00:01:29,322 --> 00:01:30,322 This is a test. 29 00:01:30,354 --> 00:01:32,872 Please take no action. 30 00:01:32,947 --> 00:01:34,187 What on earth are you doing? 31 00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:35,227 Sorry. 32 00:01:36,381 --> 00:01:39,232 I still get PTSD from my time in Afghanistan. 33 00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:40,627 You never served in Afghanistan. 34 00:01:40,628 --> 00:01:42,139 Yeah, I know. 35 00:01:42,187 --> 00:01:44,123 But the drone footage I saw was very realistic. 36 00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:45,552 How much data was compromised? 37 00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:47,592 Yeah, it may sound insulting really. 38 00:01:47,667 --> 00:01:50,177 Macedites from the middle server. 39 00:01:50,201 --> 00:01:51,681 They did manage to capture a tiny bit 40 00:01:51,682 --> 00:01:53,407 of Mary's Internet browsing history, sadly. 41 00:01:53,465 --> 00:01:54,665 Oh no. 42 00:01:54,741 --> 00:01:56,461 Please tell me none of that was sensitive. 43 00:01:56,462 --> 00:01:57,634 No, apart from 44 00:01:59,107 --> 00:02:02,152 I have been looking online for a new bra. 45 00:02:02,227 --> 00:02:03,279 Really, what type? 46 00:02:03,354 --> 00:02:05,072 Just a brown one. 47 00:02:05,147 --> 00:02:06,147 Yeah baby. 48 00:02:06,187 --> 00:02:07,392 Found him. 49 00:02:07,467 --> 00:02:08,512 This is our hacker. 50 00:02:15,081 --> 00:02:16,177 - Fuck me. - Oh my gosh. 51 00:02:16,201 --> 00:02:17,912 Gosh, what a dick. 52 00:02:17,987 --> 00:02:20,083 Sorry, Jerry, do you mind using less bad language? 53 00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:21,107 Seriously? 54 00:02:21,966 --> 00:02:23,266 Shit is fine thought, isn't it? 55 00:02:23,267 --> 00:02:24,537 Now I say shit all the time. 56 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:25,681 No you just talk shit. 57 00:02:25,747 --> 00:02:27,177 There's a difference. 58 00:02:27,201 --> 00:02:28,432 Oh yeah! 59 00:02:29,707 --> 00:02:31,512 - No, you have to let go. - Sorry. 60 00:02:31,587 --> 00:02:32,610 This guy is good. 61 00:02:32,634 --> 00:02:34,632 He once hacked the NSA database. 62 00:02:34,707 --> 00:02:36,519 NSA database, really? 63 00:02:37,947 --> 00:02:39,952 You know maybe we should bring this guy in. 64 00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:41,066 Make him part of the team. 65 00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:42,112 Absolutely not. 66 00:02:42,187 --> 00:02:43,432 I'm serious. 67 00:02:43,507 --> 00:02:45,872 I mean Tuva used to be a hacker, right? 68 00:02:45,947 --> 00:02:48,072 I don't know if I appreciate the term hacker 69 00:02:48,147 --> 00:02:50,232 because I'm also a singer. 70 00:02:50,307 --> 00:02:52,352 The only reason Tuva is here 71 00:02:52,427 --> 00:02:54,667 is because she made a bargaining plea with the government 72 00:02:54,668 --> 00:02:57,617 in exchange for some highly sensitive intel. 73 00:02:57,641 --> 00:02:59,072 Please don't say... 74 00:02:59,147 --> 00:03:00,507 It was about the Brexit campaign. 75 00:03:00,508 --> 00:03:02,352 What that was about. 76 00:03:02,427 --> 00:03:05,072 My point is we should keep our enemies close. 77 00:03:05,147 --> 00:03:06,872 Surely we can agree on that. 78 00:03:06,947 --> 00:03:09,072 Look, give me 48 hours with him. 79 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,352 If it doesn't work out, 80 00:03:10,427 --> 00:03:12,639 I'm willing to take the hit on this. 81 00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:14,119 Fine. 82 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,992 - Really? - Why not? 83 00:03:16,067 --> 00:03:18,912 I have complete faith in you. 84 00:03:18,987 --> 00:03:22,592 Ah, looks like I'm finally rubbing you off 85 00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:23,667 on me. 86 00:03:24,427 --> 00:03:26,072 - Finally... - Rubbing off on you. 87 00:03:26,147 --> 00:03:27,872 - Rubbing? - Rubbing off on you. 88 00:03:27,947 --> 00:03:29,692 - I'm finally... - Yes. 89 00:03:29,767 --> 00:03:31,693 - Rubbing off on you. - Yes, that's the saying. 90 00:03:31,694 --> 00:03:33,392 - You're rubbing off on me. - You wish. 91 00:03:35,187 --> 00:03:36,417 Oh, one final thing. 92 00:03:36,441 --> 00:03:38,483 Barnaby Bailer will be delivering his seminar 93 00:03:38,507 --> 00:03:40,912 on the politics of cyber security this week 94 00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:43,032 - to which you're all invited. - Bailer? 95 00:03:43,107 --> 00:03:44,512 The Middle East attach�? 96 00:03:44,587 --> 00:03:45,952 I love that guy! 97 00:03:46,027 --> 00:03:48,152 He and I used to make these cupcakes together 98 00:03:48,227 --> 00:03:50,399 when he was over for 9/11. 99 00:03:51,987 --> 00:03:53,550 Who's running his protection detail? 100 00:03:53,574 --> 00:03:55,574 'Cause last time got pretty rowdy. 101 00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,066 Oh, I'm sure his people will run it 102 00:03:57,067 --> 00:03:58,937 given his somewhat contentious legacy. 103 00:03:58,961 --> 00:04:01,003 Well, I'll pop down there just to be sure. 104 00:04:01,027 --> 00:04:02,392 Know what I'm saying? 105 00:04:02,467 --> 00:04:04,672 I can't hear you. 106 00:04:04,747 --> 00:04:06,632 Just in case it should come up, 107 00:04:06,707 --> 00:04:09,632 I actually used to date Barnaby Bailer. 108 00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:10,992 What the fuck? 109 00:04:11,067 --> 00:04:12,365 Jerry, please. 110 00:04:12,441 --> 00:04:14,177 When we were in university together. 111 00:04:14,201 --> 00:04:16,250 I don't suspect he'll remember me, though. 112 00:04:16,274 --> 00:04:18,472 It was all, you know, very brief. 113 00:04:18,547 --> 00:04:21,592 What, like in a premature ejaculation kind of way? 114 00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:24,039 Sorry, I really don't know what that is. 115 00:04:24,114 --> 00:04:25,563 Well, I'm sure Joseph can show you. 116 00:04:30,234 --> 00:04:31,479 Well, what is it? 117 00:04:33,354 --> 00:04:34,552 Jerry? 118 00:04:34,627 --> 00:04:36,147 I don't know, should we look it up? 119 00:04:42,226 --> 00:04:44,032 - Thank you very much. - Thank you. 120 00:04:51,107 --> 00:04:52,427 My contact at the NSA has agreed 121 00:04:52,428 --> 00:04:54,159 to let me view Jerry's internal file. 122 00:04:54,234 --> 00:04:56,017 Can you save it onto the private server? 123 00:04:56,041 --> 00:04:57,432 It's important. 124 00:04:57,507 --> 00:05:00,232 Sure, do you want an ice cream? 125 00:05:00,307 --> 00:05:03,152 Did you get anything I just said? 126 00:05:03,227 --> 00:05:04,227 No. 127 00:05:12,547 --> 00:05:14,712 Is everything okay? 128 00:05:14,787 --> 00:05:17,752 Yeah, I don't know where Jerry got to, that's all. 129 00:05:17,827 --> 00:05:21,232 Oh, he and I usually have a coffee around this time. 130 00:05:21,307 --> 00:05:25,432 Well, I'd bring him a coffee and just watch him drink it. 131 00:05:25,507 --> 00:05:27,057 Thanks Mary. 132 00:05:28,187 --> 00:05:29,672 Oh, Quentin. 133 00:05:29,747 --> 00:05:30,747 Hello. 134 00:05:32,227 --> 00:05:35,512 Sorry, I picked up mom's glasses by accident this morning. 135 00:05:35,587 --> 00:05:37,457 I thought you said you couldn't see. 136 00:05:37,481 --> 00:05:39,999 Oh well, she can't at night. 137 00:05:41,434 --> 00:05:43,577 What are you up to this evening? 138 00:05:43,601 --> 00:05:48,079 Well, I usually help mom with her bath on Wednesdays. 139 00:05:49,574 --> 00:05:52,672 Let me know if I can ever be of service. 140 00:05:52,747 --> 00:05:55,632 Oh, I don't think mom would like that. 141 00:05:55,707 --> 00:05:58,592 She wouldn't know if she can't see. 142 00:05:58,667 --> 00:06:02,352 She would know if there were four hands in the bath. 143 00:06:02,427 --> 00:06:03,427 Yes. 144 00:06:05,547 --> 00:06:07,472 Half an octopus. 145 00:06:07,547 --> 00:06:08,547 Yes. 146 00:06:11,266 --> 00:06:12,266 See you later. 147 00:06:12,267 --> 00:06:13,267 Okay. 148 00:06:16,826 --> 00:06:17,946 So I thought I'd start out 149 00:06:17,947 --> 00:06:19,439 by giving you like a quick tour 150 00:06:19,514 --> 00:06:20,719 and then I don't know. 151 00:06:20,794 --> 00:06:23,192 Probably just hang out, grab a drink. 152 00:06:23,267 --> 00:06:24,497 Maybe some tail. 153 00:06:24,521 --> 00:06:26,632 Guys, this is Tom. 154 00:06:26,707 --> 00:06:28,747 He's the one that hacked our server the other night. 155 00:06:28,748 --> 00:06:30,512 - Hey Tom. - Hi. 156 00:06:30,587 --> 00:06:31,992 This is Mary. 157 00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:34,352 Mary's been with GCHQ from the beginning. 158 00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:35,657 When was it founded, Mary? 159 00:06:35,681 --> 00:06:36,681 1919. 160 00:06:37,546 --> 00:06:38,546 Right, so then. 161 00:06:38,547 --> 00:06:40,472 Well, not quite. 162 00:06:40,547 --> 00:06:42,399 I'm actually a lot younger than I look. 163 00:06:42,474 --> 00:06:44,032 Really, by how much? 164 00:06:44,107 --> 00:06:46,672 Gosh, no one's ever asked me that before. 165 00:06:46,747 --> 00:06:49,352 Plus she's absolutely filthy, you know what I mean? 166 00:06:49,427 --> 00:06:50,672 The mouth on her. 167 00:06:50,747 --> 00:06:52,112 This is Tuva. 168 00:06:52,187 --> 00:06:53,563 What'd you get up to this weekend? 169 00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:55,272 Not much. 170 00:06:55,347 --> 00:06:57,523 I just went to a club, got with couple of salty jerks. 171 00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:58,839 Your accent's really fresh. 172 00:06:58,914 --> 00:06:59,992 Who is not to use it? 173 00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:01,312 It's a mix. 174 00:07:01,387 --> 00:07:03,559 So you hacked the GCHQ server? 175 00:07:03,634 --> 00:07:05,072 Yep. 176 00:07:05,147 --> 00:07:08,072 I don't know whether to be impressed, annoyed 177 00:07:08,147 --> 00:07:09,147 or aroused. 178 00:07:10,387 --> 00:07:11,387 Probably annoyed. 179 00:07:11,394 --> 00:07:13,003 - Annoyed. - Aroused. 180 00:07:13,027 --> 00:07:15,257 I could sell the sprinters off if you like. 181 00:07:15,281 --> 00:07:16,697 Hey Tom, this is Joseph. 182 00:07:16,721 --> 00:07:17,881 Yeah I'm sorry, I'm Joseph. 183 00:07:17,882 --> 00:07:19,732 How are you? I'm actually Jerry's best friend. 184 00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:21,352 - PA. - Sorry, no, you go. 185 00:07:21,427 --> 00:07:23,272 Colleague. 186 00:07:23,347 --> 00:07:24,627 Do you always dress like that? 187 00:07:24,628 --> 00:07:25,628 Yes, why? 188 00:07:27,107 --> 00:07:28,585 No, that's cool. 189 00:07:28,661 --> 00:07:30,781 I was just wondering if it was for a bet or something. 190 00:07:30,782 --> 00:07:33,112 I can't even tell if he's joking. 191 00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:35,272 Are you joking? 192 00:07:38,747 --> 00:07:39,787 Do you work out? 193 00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:42,512 'Cause your traps are amazing. 194 00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:45,039 No, just came out like this. 195 00:07:47,307 --> 00:07:48,723 Let me introduce you to Christine. 196 00:07:48,747 --> 00:07:52,359 She's like the scary Mary Poppins of the team. 197 00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:56,752 He seems nice. 198 00:07:56,827 --> 00:07:59,072 I just think he finds me a little bit intimidating, 199 00:07:59,147 --> 00:08:00,752 which is a shame really. 200 00:08:03,186 --> 00:08:04,506 You know, he's hiding something, 201 00:08:04,507 --> 00:08:05,632 I'm sure of it. 202 00:08:05,707 --> 00:08:07,352 Our hands are tied, Chris. 203 00:08:07,427 --> 00:08:09,072 Sorry. 204 00:08:09,147 --> 00:08:12,312 Whitehall don't want us digging around about Jerry. 205 00:08:12,387 --> 00:08:14,272 What's that noise? 206 00:08:14,347 --> 00:08:16,432 Are you still on the Anthrax case? 207 00:08:16,507 --> 00:08:18,112 Sort of. 208 00:08:18,187 --> 00:08:19,712 Phantom of the Opera, Damascus. 209 00:08:19,787 --> 00:08:21,392 It's just starting. 210 00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:32,003 Well hey, just out of interest. 211 00:08:32,027 --> 00:08:33,672 Is it possible for someone like you 212 00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,672 to hack into say, I don't know, 213 00:08:36,747 --> 00:08:39,039 the NSA database? 214 00:08:39,114 --> 00:08:41,872 Have a look around, delete the odd file? 215 00:08:41,947 --> 00:08:43,332 You know someone's actually trying 216 00:08:43,407 --> 00:08:45,472 to access your file right now. 217 00:08:45,547 --> 00:08:47,152 What? 218 00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:48,992 Oh, that's uh, yeah. 219 00:08:49,067 --> 00:08:51,257 Can you abort that transfer? 220 00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,319 Just for fun? 221 00:08:53,587 --> 00:08:55,359 Yeah, I can just do, 222 00:08:56,426 --> 00:08:57,426 aborted. 223 00:09:04,667 --> 00:09:07,039 - Uh... - What's happening? 224 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,080 It's uploading again. 225 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,081 What the? 226 00:09:10,427 --> 00:09:12,163 I could just permanently delete the file. 227 00:09:12,187 --> 00:09:16,032 I would love to see what that looks like. 228 00:09:18,147 --> 00:09:20,272 I love your cologne, by the way. 229 00:09:20,347 --> 00:09:22,937 I'm not wearing any. 230 00:09:22,961 --> 00:09:24,112 Still. 231 00:09:24,187 --> 00:09:25,192 Done. 232 00:09:45,346 --> 00:09:46,346 Jerry. 233 00:09:46,347 --> 00:09:47,592 Yeah? 234 00:09:47,667 --> 00:09:49,457 Should I clean up your browsing history? 235 00:09:49,481 --> 00:09:51,039 Yeah, please. 236 00:09:51,114 --> 00:09:52,992 That would be great. 237 00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:56,552 I'll be back. 238 00:09:56,627 --> 00:09:57,897 - Hey. - Hey man. 239 00:09:57,921 --> 00:09:59,746 I just wondered if you would fancy 240 00:09:59,747 --> 00:10:01,112 going to the canteen together. 241 00:10:01,147 --> 00:10:02,667 I do know that curly sausage you like. 242 00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:04,072 Oh man, I'd love to but actually 243 00:10:04,147 --> 00:10:06,639 Tom and I are going out for T-bones later. 244 00:10:06,714 --> 00:10:08,119 Tonight? 245 00:10:08,154 --> 00:10:09,514 Oh, 'cause I'm not doing anything. 246 00:10:09,515 --> 00:10:11,192 You know, I look at this guy 247 00:10:11,267 --> 00:10:14,192 and I can't help but think about that saying, 248 00:10:14,267 --> 00:10:16,952 you hang around with chickens, you cluck. 249 00:10:17,027 --> 00:10:19,919 You hang around with eagles, you fly. 250 00:10:20,807 --> 00:10:22,913 Yeah, I know but the main thing with eagles though 251 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,679 is that they all have mental health problems. 252 00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:25,959 All done. 253 00:10:26,034 --> 00:10:29,152 - So when is actually... - Excuse me. 254 00:10:29,227 --> 00:10:30,439 Yeah, thank you. 255 00:10:35,587 --> 00:10:37,959 Dude, seriously, how do you stay in shape? 256 00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:39,672 Well, I used to be a gymnast 257 00:10:39,747 --> 00:10:41,392 but I just got too big. 258 00:10:41,467 --> 00:10:43,152 Yeah, I know, me too. 259 00:10:43,227 --> 00:10:44,439 So what kind of stuff? 260 00:10:44,514 --> 00:10:46,352 I mean, can you show me something? 261 00:10:46,427 --> 00:10:48,112 - It's been a while. - Come on man. 262 00:10:48,187 --> 00:10:50,057 - I'm out of practice. - Come on. 263 00:10:50,081 --> 00:10:51,152 Oh, hey guys. 264 00:10:51,227 --> 00:10:52,312 Come on yeah! 265 00:10:52,387 --> 00:10:53,919 Okay, watch this. 266 00:10:58,481 --> 00:10:59,519 Oh! 267 00:10:59,594 --> 00:11:01,759 Wow, what the fuck! 268 00:11:01,993 --> 00:11:02,993 That was great. 269 00:11:02,994 --> 00:11:04,092 That was... 270 00:11:04,167 --> 00:11:05,550 - Did you see that? - Yeah, I did. 271 00:11:05,574 --> 00:11:07,934 Well, I used to do that all the time when I was in gym club. 272 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,057 What, you were a gymnast? 273 00:11:09,081 --> 00:11:11,083 Oh, it was mostly combat rolls, that kind of thing. 274 00:11:11,158 --> 00:11:12,672 What's combat roll? 275 00:11:12,747 --> 00:11:13,987 Oh well, hang on let me just, 276 00:11:13,988 --> 00:11:16,713 I just need a bit of space to... Thank you. 277 00:11:18,514 --> 00:11:19,959 It's sort of like, 278 00:11:23,187 --> 00:11:26,439 get your leg over sort of like this. 279 00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,523 You paid someone to teach you that? 280 00:11:29,547 --> 00:11:30,547 Yeah. 281 00:11:32,347 --> 00:11:34,387 Isn't that just a teddy bear roll? 282 00:11:34,434 --> 00:11:35,512 Yeah, combat roll. 283 00:11:35,587 --> 00:11:38,417 But we used to practice a lot more complicated stuff in my bedroom. 284 00:11:38,441 --> 00:11:39,872 Like what? 285 00:11:39,947 --> 00:11:41,380 Oh, I can't really demonstrate here 286 00:11:41,381 --> 00:11:43,432 because it's not the space, and it's not the height? 287 00:11:43,507 --> 00:11:45,357 - For you? - Come on. I just can't really. 288 00:11:45,381 --> 00:11:47,039 I'm not warmed up. 289 00:11:47,114 --> 00:11:49,279 Joseph, Joseph, Joseph, Joseph! 290 00:11:51,081 --> 00:11:52,081 Okay, okay! 291 00:11:52,147 --> 00:11:53,999 Joseph, Joseph, Joseph! 292 00:12:05,786 --> 00:12:06,786 You hungry? 293 00:12:06,787 --> 00:12:07,999 I could eat. 294 00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:28,392 Oh man! 295 00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:30,201 Yeah? 296 00:12:32,067 --> 00:12:33,672 Hey. 297 00:12:33,747 --> 00:12:35,552 Hey, what the fuck? 298 00:12:35,627 --> 00:12:37,432 Is everything okay? 299 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:38,792 Yeah, why? 300 00:12:38,867 --> 00:12:40,592 You know I got tased, right? 301 00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:42,027 No I know that, but what are you, 302 00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:43,240 what happened? 303 00:12:44,307 --> 00:12:45,657 Just fancied a change. 304 00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:47,137 What, from man to woman? 305 00:12:47,161 --> 00:12:48,617 What'd you do to your hair? 306 00:12:48,641 --> 00:12:50,737 - I wanted to make it blonde. - No. 307 00:12:50,761 --> 00:12:52,192 No? 308 00:12:52,267 --> 00:12:54,672 No, that would never work with someone of your coloring. 309 00:12:54,747 --> 00:12:57,392 And you end up looking like a bee. 310 00:12:57,467 --> 00:12:58,467 Buddy. 311 00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:03,232 So have you... you're finished with Tom now. 312 00:13:03,307 --> 00:13:05,792 Is he gone back, where is he? 313 00:13:05,867 --> 00:13:07,472 He'll be in later this afternoon. 314 00:13:07,547 --> 00:13:09,712 We got totally shit faced last night. 315 00:13:15,227 --> 00:13:17,272 - What's up? - Oh, nothing. 316 00:13:17,347 --> 00:13:19,577 Wait, wait a minute. 317 00:13:19,601 --> 00:13:21,712 Dude, is this because of Tom? 318 00:13:24,112 --> 00:13:25,152 No. 319 00:13:25,227 --> 00:13:27,352 Listen, you need to relax 320 00:13:27,427 --> 00:13:29,352 and just be your own man. 321 00:13:29,427 --> 00:13:31,032 Okay, you do you. 322 00:13:31,106 --> 00:13:32,626 That's the coolest thing you could do. 323 00:13:32,627 --> 00:13:34,272 - Yeah. - Okay? 324 00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:35,347 Yeah. 325 00:13:36,187 --> 00:13:37,552 Well yeah, just as long as 326 00:13:37,627 --> 00:13:39,119 you and I get to... 327 00:13:40,147 --> 00:13:41,147 What? 328 00:13:41,181 --> 00:13:43,352 Well, you know, remain... 329 00:13:43,427 --> 00:13:45,552 Oh, what like this? 330 00:13:45,627 --> 00:13:47,032 Yeah. 331 00:13:47,107 --> 00:13:49,672 Yeah, no this will never change. 332 00:13:49,747 --> 00:13:52,119 All right, thank you, good. 333 00:13:55,347 --> 00:13:56,587 So what are you doing tonight? 334 00:13:56,661 --> 00:13:58,581 Do you want to go out to the cinema or something? 335 00:13:58,582 --> 00:14:00,920 No, I'm out again tonight with Tom. 336 00:14:02,627 --> 00:14:05,272 So when was the last time you saw Barnaby? 337 00:14:05,347 --> 00:14:07,719 Gosh, maybe 40 years ago now. 338 00:14:09,747 --> 00:14:12,152 I still think about him every day, though. 339 00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:16,352 Can I ask, are you still a virgin? 340 00:14:16,427 --> 00:14:17,427 Oh, yes, 341 00:14:19,347 --> 00:14:21,199 but only fairly recently. 342 00:14:22,794 --> 00:14:27,232 And when was the last time you washed your wig? 343 00:14:27,307 --> 00:14:28,559 It's not a wig. 344 00:14:30,427 --> 00:14:31,427 Tommy, hey. 345 00:14:37,104 --> 00:14:38,704 So listen, I was just thinking of having 346 00:14:38,705 --> 00:14:39,721 some birthday drinks. 347 00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:41,159 I can't, I'm sorry. 348 00:14:41,234 --> 00:14:42,472 No, it's not tonight. 349 00:14:42,547 --> 00:14:43,932 Sorry, I should have been clearer. 350 00:14:44,007 --> 00:14:46,207 I know you and Jerry got a thing tonight, which is fine. 351 00:14:46,267 --> 00:14:48,832 No, I just mean in general. I probably can't make it. 352 00:14:48,907 --> 00:14:51,352 Well, that's cool. That's cool. 353 00:14:51,427 --> 00:14:52,667 I'm not really flexible anyway. 354 00:14:52,668 --> 00:14:54,512 I'm booked anyway 'cause yeah. 355 00:14:54,587 --> 00:14:55,759 Just let me know. 356 00:14:55,834 --> 00:14:57,999 I am letting you know. 357 00:14:58,074 --> 00:14:59,832 I can't make it. 358 00:14:59,907 --> 00:15:01,490 Well, let's not rule anything out. 359 00:15:01,514 --> 00:15:03,403 I mean it's not for eight months, Tom. 360 00:15:03,427 --> 00:15:05,032 Okay, I want you guys here. 361 00:15:05,107 --> 00:15:08,392 Here, here, here, and here throughout. 362 00:15:08,467 --> 00:15:09,712 Got it? 363 00:15:09,787 --> 00:15:11,170 Also, I'm gonna need you to clear 364 00:15:11,194 --> 00:15:12,834 a little more space over here just in case 365 00:15:12,835 --> 00:15:14,759 I need to do karate. 366 00:15:14,834 --> 00:15:16,712 I had a bodyguard buddy 367 00:15:16,787 --> 00:15:19,752 who lost his job because there wasn't enough space 368 00:15:19,827 --> 00:15:22,072 for him to do karate at a key moment. 369 00:15:22,147 --> 00:15:23,163 All right, back up a bit. 370 00:15:23,187 --> 00:15:24,537 Little more, little more. 371 00:15:27,081 --> 00:15:29,201 Yeah, another two or three feet, right over there. 372 00:15:29,227 --> 00:15:32,319 So, are there any areas you'd like me to accentuate? 373 00:15:32,394 --> 00:15:33,394 Oh well. 374 00:15:34,307 --> 00:15:36,279 The vicar at church, 375 00:15:36,354 --> 00:15:39,152 he always says that I have lovely cheek bones. 376 00:15:39,227 --> 00:15:41,632 My only worry is that if I bring those out any more, 377 00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:44,152 you're going to look like a skull on a broomstick. 378 00:15:44,227 --> 00:15:45,227 Right. 379 00:15:46,347 --> 00:15:47,347 Cigarette? 380 00:15:48,627 --> 00:15:50,079 Yeah, all right. 381 00:16:05,561 --> 00:16:06,639 Go on ahead. 382 00:16:08,747 --> 00:16:10,239 I'll have this one. 383 00:16:12,761 --> 00:16:14,279 You got a light? 384 00:16:17,107 --> 00:16:19,217 Are you still lighting your cigarettes? 385 00:16:19,241 --> 00:16:20,479 I just chew mine. 386 00:16:49,674 --> 00:16:50,674 Lips? 387 00:16:50,707 --> 00:16:52,312 Oh, yes please. 388 00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:55,032 I'd really like him to tight up lips. 389 00:16:55,107 --> 00:16:57,032 I'd go for bright pink. 390 00:16:57,107 --> 00:16:58,867 If it's the first time you've seen each other 391 00:16:58,868 --> 00:17:00,266 in a while, 392 00:17:00,307 --> 00:17:02,759 then you want your lips to look like a, 393 00:17:02,834 --> 00:17:04,312 cat's butt hole. 394 00:17:04,387 --> 00:17:05,387 Oh. 395 00:17:08,107 --> 00:17:10,272 And do lots of men find that attractive? 396 00:17:10,347 --> 00:17:11,552 No. 397 00:17:11,627 --> 00:17:13,352 But, Barnaby will. 398 00:17:13,427 --> 00:17:14,427 Let's start. 399 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:16,360 Guest list. 400 00:17:21,427 --> 00:17:23,323 No, the whole thing needs to be redone. 401 00:17:23,347 --> 00:17:24,667 If I can't pronounce a last name, 402 00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:25,707 I want them off the list. 403 00:17:25,714 --> 00:17:26,714 Woo, ha, ha. 404 00:17:28,227 --> 00:17:29,319 Good. 405 00:17:29,394 --> 00:17:30,394 Good. 406 00:17:33,707 --> 00:17:34,707 Oh wow. 407 00:17:35,707 --> 00:17:37,119 Ow! 408 00:17:37,194 --> 00:17:38,737 Did you do that piercing yourself? 409 00:17:38,761 --> 00:17:39,761 No, 410 00:17:40,721 --> 00:17:42,432 I just slept awkwardly. 411 00:17:42,507 --> 00:17:44,612 I actually see a bit of blood, though. 412 00:17:44,687 --> 00:17:45,712 Are you coming? 413 00:17:45,787 --> 00:17:47,652 Oh no, I think me and Tom are just gonna hang. 414 00:17:47,727 --> 00:17:48,737 Cool. 415 00:17:48,761 --> 00:17:51,032 No, where are you going? 416 00:17:51,107 --> 00:17:52,552 To the Barnaby Bailer thing. 417 00:17:52,627 --> 00:17:54,512 Barnaby Bailer's here? 418 00:17:54,587 --> 00:17:55,832 Politician? 419 00:17:55,907 --> 00:17:58,257 Yeah, I know, what a fucking nickhead. 420 00:17:58,281 --> 00:17:59,657 I should go. 421 00:17:59,681 --> 00:18:01,337 - Be fun. - That's what I meant. 422 00:18:01,361 --> 00:18:02,432 Be fun. 423 00:18:02,507 --> 00:18:03,879 Should go. 424 00:18:06,227 --> 00:18:08,399 I need you in that corner. 425 00:18:10,307 --> 00:18:12,265 - Bailer! - Hi. 426 00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:13,432 Jerry Bernstein, NSA. 427 00:18:13,507 --> 00:18:15,192 We did 9/11 together. 428 00:18:15,267 --> 00:18:16,592 Can I get you a little cupcake? 429 00:18:16,667 --> 00:18:18,639 You fucking maniac? 430 00:18:18,714 --> 00:18:20,832 I'd love a glass of milk, please. 431 00:18:20,907 --> 00:18:23,592 Right, can someone get Barnaby a glass of milk? 432 00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:24,757 Hi, Barnaby. 433 00:18:24,781 --> 00:18:27,262 Would you mind just taking a quick pic, for our social media? 434 00:18:27,287 --> 00:18:28,287 No, of course not. 435 00:18:28,347 --> 00:18:30,193 - Would you like me in it again? - No, of course not. 436 00:18:30,194 --> 00:18:31,403 You know, let me do this. 437 00:18:31,427 --> 00:18:33,472 I'm really good at wildlife photography. 438 00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,352 How do you? Right. 439 00:18:35,427 --> 00:18:36,559 Okay, one, two, 440 00:18:37,914 --> 00:18:39,432 Chris, you may wanna try to smile. 441 00:18:39,507 --> 00:18:41,283 You know just imagine there's been an attack 442 00:18:41,307 --> 00:18:42,319 on U.S. soil. 443 00:18:45,147 --> 00:18:46,459 Still no good. 444 00:18:46,534 --> 00:18:47,923 Why don't we sex this up a little. 445 00:18:47,947 --> 00:18:49,712 Tom, leave that, come here! 446 00:18:49,787 --> 00:18:51,232 Throw your arm around Bailer, yeah. 447 00:18:51,307 --> 00:18:53,467 Oh this is, yeah, this is better right away. 448 00:18:53,514 --> 00:18:54,952 - Here we go. - Sorry Jerry. 449 00:18:55,027 --> 00:18:56,210 Hi, I'm Barnaby Joseph Harry. 450 00:18:56,234 --> 00:18:57,706 I'm not sure if your concerned about 451 00:18:57,707 --> 00:18:58,867 having a natural mouth shape. 452 00:18:58,891 --> 00:19:00,091 But if you say wagamama a lot, 453 00:19:00,092 --> 00:19:02,433 it gives you a very kind of honest look. 454 00:19:02,507 --> 00:19:03,547 Shall we try that? 455 00:19:03,587 --> 00:19:05,432 One, two, three. 456 00:19:05,507 --> 00:19:07,119 Wagamama. 457 00:19:07,194 --> 00:19:08,523 I've actually never been to one. 458 00:19:08,547 --> 00:19:09,552 Oh, it's really great. 459 00:19:09,627 --> 00:19:12,027 The only thing is the food always arrives at different times. 460 00:19:12,028 --> 00:19:13,359 - Why? - No one knows. 461 00:19:13,434 --> 00:19:14,594 Chris, take a look at this. 462 00:19:14,595 --> 00:19:15,680 I think it's terrific. 463 00:19:15,707 --> 00:19:17,239 Evelyn looks rough. 464 00:19:18,347 --> 00:19:19,599 Oh hi, Barnaby. 465 00:19:19,674 --> 00:19:20,832 How are you? 466 00:19:20,907 --> 00:19:22,312 Hi, I'm good, thanks. 467 00:19:22,387 --> 00:19:25,752 Mary Needham, we were at Oxford together. 468 00:19:25,827 --> 00:19:27,199 St. Johns? 469 00:19:27,274 --> 00:19:29,392 Right, are you the one that had a stroke? 470 00:19:29,467 --> 00:19:30,752 Oh gosh, no. 471 00:19:30,827 --> 00:19:32,712 It's just make up. 472 00:19:32,787 --> 00:19:34,719 Right, lovely to see you again. 473 00:19:34,794 --> 00:19:36,672 I'm surprised you even remember me. 474 00:19:36,747 --> 00:19:38,677 I don't remember you. 475 00:19:38,701 --> 00:19:39,712 Okay, shall we start? 476 00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:40,797 - Yes. - Great. 477 00:19:40,821 --> 00:19:43,192 Everyone, we're gonna start. 478 00:19:43,267 --> 00:19:45,163 Just so you know I'm gonna be up top 479 00:19:45,187 --> 00:19:47,439 in case anyone tries to poof! 480 00:19:52,546 --> 00:19:53,706 Did you see where Tom went? 481 00:19:53,707 --> 00:19:54,707 Sh! 482 00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:02,352 Right, well, hello everyone. 483 00:20:02,427 --> 00:20:04,359 Thanks so much for having me. 484 00:20:04,434 --> 00:20:07,592 In an increasingly digital world 485 00:20:07,667 --> 00:20:10,417 cooperation between intelligence agencies 486 00:20:10,441 --> 00:20:11,872 has become vital. 487 00:20:11,947 --> 00:20:16,217 And never has politics played such an important role 488 00:20:16,241 --> 00:20:19,159 in how we view cyber security as a society. 489 00:20:21,827 --> 00:20:24,759 In 1997, I started a very long journey 490 00:20:27,667 --> 00:20:29,512 together with my wife, Samantha. 491 00:20:29,587 --> 00:20:31,352 We moved into Downing Street 492 00:20:31,427 --> 00:20:34,319 with a promise to the people of Britain. 493 00:20:35,361 --> 00:20:37,632 No wait, what, what, what! 494 00:20:40,867 --> 00:20:44,752 Okay, our friends from Greenpeace in? 495 00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:50,279 Sorry, anyways onwards and upwards. 496 00:20:51,427 --> 00:20:53,112 Good. 497 00:20:53,187 --> 00:20:56,512 Either we treat hacking offenses as serious crimes or... 498 00:20:59,307 --> 00:21:02,272 ...or face the consequences of... 499 00:21:02,347 --> 00:21:05,479 Has someone hacked the system? 500 00:21:05,554 --> 00:21:07,274 I expected better than this, to be honest. 501 00:21:09,787 --> 00:21:12,639 Excellent, now it's all over Twitter. 502 00:21:13,781 --> 00:21:15,432 Anyone know who's responsible? 503 00:21:15,507 --> 00:21:16,787 I must say I'm looking forward 504 00:21:16,788 --> 00:21:18,512 to explaining to Rupert which one of us 505 00:21:18,587 --> 00:21:22,672 decided to invite a random hacker into the building. 506 00:21:22,747 --> 00:21:24,512 Go ahead, there's nothing here 507 00:21:24,587 --> 00:21:26,632 that says this was the work of Tom. 508 00:21:26,707 --> 00:21:27,810 Let's get this sorted. 509 00:21:35,686 --> 00:21:36,766 Could be a different Tom. 510 00:21:36,767 --> 00:21:39,472 Oh my God. 511 00:21:39,547 --> 00:21:43,599 * This is Ground Control to Major Tom * 512 00:21:43,674 --> 00:21:48,592 * You've really made the grade * 513 00:21:48,667 --> 00:21:52,617 * And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear * 514 00:21:52,641 --> 00:21:53,912 Wanna go get some T-bones? 515 00:21:53,987 --> 00:21:55,712 Yeah. 516 00:21:55,787 --> 00:22:00,319 * Now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare * 517 00:22:11,427 --> 00:22:12,427 Very nice. 518 00:22:13,307 --> 00:22:14,432 Cat bum. 519 00:22:14,507 --> 00:22:15,639 Oh, thank you. 520 00:22:24,227 --> 00:22:26,232 * Hooray hooray hooray * 521 00:22:26,307 --> 00:22:27,912 * Misery is on the way * 522 00:22:27,987 --> 00:22:29,312 * There are bad times * 523 00:22:29,387 --> 00:22:31,712 * Just around the corner * 524 00:22:31,787 --> 00:22:33,152 * There are dark clouds * 525 00:22:33,227 --> 00:22:35,632 * Hurtling through the sky * 526 00:22:35,707 --> 00:22:37,632 * It's as clear as crystal * 527 00:22:37,707 --> 00:22:39,672 * From Bridlington to Bristol * 528 00:22:39,747 --> 00:22:41,632 * That we can't save democracy * 529 00:22:41,707 --> 00:22:43,512 * And we don't much care * 530 00:22:43,587 --> 00:22:45,352 * We better all learn the merits * 531 00:22:45,427 --> 00:22:47,512 * On the old red flag * 532 00:22:47,587 --> 00:22:51,739 * And wait till we drop down dead * 533 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,340 Sync & corrections by Costa Dax www.addic7ed.com 35874

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