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1
00:00:00,150 --> 00:00:04,169
She was in her 40s. She was in front
of me in the queue, sucking her thumb.
2
00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:07,439
Oh, don't! Filthy bitch!
She must know it's weird,
3
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:10,719
she must know that everyone
who sees her, hates her.
4
00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:13,639
How is it fun?
How is sucking your thumb fun?
5
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,319
Imagine where it's been.
Up her arse.
6
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:17,679
What was that?
7
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:21,319
It's been up her arse.
HE LAUGHS
8
00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:23,359
Subtitles by APOLLO
www.addic7ed.com
9
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:28,319
I don't understand
where all my socks have gone.
10
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,839
I mean,
she was wearing a wedding ring.
11
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:32,039
Oh, my God!
12
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,520
How could you marry someone
who sucks their thumb?
13
00:00:34,521 --> 00:00:36,479
Was she attractive?
14
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:39,760
No, of course not.
She had her thumb in her mouth.
15
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:44,520
Do you think I should, um...
Where've you gone?
16
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:48,680
Oh, there you are.
What was that?
17
00:00:48,681 --> 00:00:50,199
Do you think I need a jumper?
18
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:51,760
I dunno.
19
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:54,839
She got off at Tottenham Hale
20
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:58,079
and me and this little boy
looked at each other and smiled.
21
00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:00,960
You shouldn't be
smiling at little boys.
22
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,040
DOOR OPENS
23
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:37,959
DOOR CLOSES
24
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:40,239
Steve?
I haven't got my wallet...
25
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:41,599
Or my phone.
26
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,599
Have you got your keys?
No.
27
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:44,879
BANGING
28
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:46,799
What's wrong?
29
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,119
We're locked out.
30
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:49,359
What?
31
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,159
We're locked out.
32
00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:52,800
Oh, you silly wanker.
33
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,960
I haven't got my keys.
34
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:00,999
DRAWLY VOICE: OK, Steve.
35
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,639
Don't do impressions of my mum.
36
00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,599
When are you going to get rid
of all these?
37
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,080
When are you going to get rid
of your mum?
38
00:02:07,081 --> 00:02:09,599
Someone's going to trip on them.
Stand back,
39
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,000
I'm gonna bash it down.
No!
40
00:02:11,001 --> 00:02:13,359
They'll charge us for the damage.
I can do it.
41
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,120
I can do it perfectly well,
thank you.
42
00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:29,919
Oh, if I just...
43
00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:30,999
Ooh, nearly!
44
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,199
Give me a pin.
45
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,719
Why would I have a pin on me?
I'm gonna pick the lock.
46
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,118
When have you ever picked a lock?
47
00:02:37,119 --> 00:02:38,480
Oh, Becky.
Oh, let me kick it.
48
00:02:38,481 --> 00:02:40,478
No! And have you got a pin on you
or not?
49
00:02:40,479 --> 00:02:41,558
Course I don't have a pin on me.
50
00:02:41,559 --> 00:02:43,040
Who goes around with
pins in their pockets?
51
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,839
BECKY LAUGHS
What?
52
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:52,640
No, it's interesting. I didn't
realise you did all your own stunts.
53
00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:55,880
Why aren't you annoyed
about the door?
54
00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,039
I guess I'm just distracted
by your hilarious T-shirt.
55
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:03,000
It's the only top I've got
that doesn't smell of damp.
56
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:06,960
Oh, yes, it does!
57
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,319
Oh, bloody hell!
58
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,800
Ooh, it's horrible, isn't it?
It smells like my bum.
59
00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:18,079
You should have dried it
at the launderette.
60
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:21,759
Oh, my God!
I didn't have enough 20p's.
61
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,439
Oh, hello.
62
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:24,640
All right.
63
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,040
Tidying.
64
00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:36,479
STEVE GROANS
65
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,479
How's your door, Steve?
We're locked out.
66
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,960
Oh, no, that's a shame.
You'll have to wait up here with me.
67
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,039
Oh, um, we'd love to...
68
00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:47,439
No worries.
69
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:50,039
But we're actually just
heading to the cinema.
70
00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:52,159
No... no worries.
My Uncle Dennis works there
71
00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:55,639
and his boss goes on lunch at one.
Cool, yeah, I get it.
72
00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,239
And we were just leaving,
73
00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,919
but I got distracted because I was
talking about adult thumb suckers.
74
00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,159
It's OK, I get it.
75
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:04,159
And I forgot my phone,
my wallet and my keys,
76
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:05,360
so we're in a bit of a hurry. OK.
77
00:04:05,361 --> 00:04:07,199
Otherwise we'd love to come up.
78
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,319
Yeah.
Don't worry, I get it.
79
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:12,279
It's a bit mucky in there, anyway.
Yeah?
80
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,999
Yeah, I was there in the flat
and a pigeon got in.
81
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,839
Bloody hell.
82
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:19,120
Shat everywhere.
83
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,040
Then it died.
84
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,119
My dad sucks his thumb.
85
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:35,720
Does he? Yeah, he's 94 and he sucks
his thumb.
86
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,919
Laura still sucks her thumb.
Yeah, course she does.
87
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,960
She used to suck it all the time
when she was little.
88
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,520
She got bullied about it.
89
00:04:48,521 --> 00:04:49,759
Did she?
90
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:52,639
Yeah, it was terrible, poor thing.
91
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,760
They held her down
and kicked her in the face.
92
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,439
SNIGGERING
93
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:00,920
Steve.
94
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:03,600
Steve!
95
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,000
Did they?
Yes, it was awful.
96
00:05:08,001 --> 00:05:09,480
She was only seven.
97
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:12,320
CONTINUES SNIGGERING
98
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:21,479
Steve, it's not funny. My mum cried.
99
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,479
They kicked her in the face?
100
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:25,359
Yes, five of them!
101
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,800
LAUGHS LOUDLY
102
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:30,960
Why's that funny?
103
00:05:30,961 --> 00:05:33,999
How is a seven-year-old getting
kicked in the face funny?
104
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,800
CONTINUES LAUGHING
105
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:42,560
I dunno. It just is.
106
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,120
BOTH CONTINUE LAUGHING
107
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,119
Come on, let me bash it down.
108
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,119
I don't want you
to bash the door down.
109
00:05:57,120 --> 00:06:01,959
Don't do that. Don't bash the door
down, bloody hell. Just use my key.
110
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,559
What?
111
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,640
You can use my key.
112
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,400
Have you got a key to our flat, Dan?
113
00:06:11,401 --> 00:06:12,879
Yeah.
114
00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:16,399
Dan, why do you have a key
to our flat?
115
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:20,279
It's from the last tenant, Ollie.
I used to hang out with his dogs.
116
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,879
Do you use it now?
117
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,119
What's that?
118
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,439
Do you ever use the key?
119
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:30,239
No, course not.
Dan?
120
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:33,040
No, honest. Here it is.
121
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,040
In you go.
122
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:48,719
Oh, Becks, I can't find my wallet.
Oh, where did you last have it?
123
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,839
I don't know.
When I paid for the pizzas?
124
00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:56,559
I paid for the pizzas. DAN SINGS: ♪ ...
Come true What'll I do? ♪
125
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:59,039
Are you all right?
126
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,600
Yeah.
127
00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:04,559
I hear you do all your own stunts.
128
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,239
Yeah, thanks, Dan.
129
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:10,199
Seriously, Steve, there's
a bit of a whiff from your T-shirt.
130
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,439
Thanks.
131
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:15,720
I thought you'd want to know.
I'd want you to tell me if I stank.
132
00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,999
Last night,
I got my foot stuck in a fence.
133
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,439
I was there ages.
134
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,360
There was nothing
I could do about it.
135
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,200
Fuck, Cat Deeley's dead!
136
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,160
Oh, no. No, she's not.
137
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:08,719
I've looked there.
138
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:11,080
Sorry, Dan, can I, um...?
139
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:20,559
I've got it.
140
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:21,800
Oh.
141
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,199
Why have you got stamps in there?
142
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,759
In case I need to send a letter.
143
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,079
Can you call my phone?
144
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:34,160
Who are you going to
send a letter to?
145
00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,200
Sorry.
146
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:49,760
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE THEME PLAYS
147
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,560
Ah, it's over here.
148
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,439
Where is it then?
Follow the ringtone.
149
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:05,199
I am doing that.
I'm looking for it, you berk.
150
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,479
Berk?
151
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,800
Yes, berk.
152
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,560
Oh, I think it's hiding down here.
153
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,199
MUSIC STOPS
154
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,720
I'll call it again.
155
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,719
MUSIC STARTS AGAIN
156
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:40,800
It's over here.
157
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,960
Hang on a minute.
158
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,480
Ah, got it.
159
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,559
Hello, the Marshall residence.
Come on.
160
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:13,920
Oh, I've got two missed calls.
Come on.
161
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,999
Have you got everything?
Yep.
162
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,879
Are you sure?
163
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:20,799
FARTS
164
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,160
Oh!
165
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,519
You changed your T-shirt then.
166
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,359
Yeah, well, I don't want people
at the cinema thinking I'm a dick.
167
00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:31,679
If anyone at the cinema
even notices you exist,
168
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:34,200
I promise I'll give you £400
million.
169
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:37,999
Why do I never get any texts?
170
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,159
You got one this morning.
That doesn't count.
171
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:41,640
DOOR SHUTS
172
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,119
DOOR OPENS
173
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,480
How about you seeing her
in a pair of your pants?
174
00:10:52,481 --> 00:10:54,199
Oh, Becky!
175
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,480
Sorry, Dan.
Forgot about you.
176
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,918
GROANING ON COMPUTER
Are you all right, Dan?
177
00:11:00,919 --> 00:11:02,720
Yeah. Sorry about that,
forgot you were here.
178
00:11:02,721 --> 00:11:05,719
Don't come in here.
179
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:08,920
D'you need a minute
to clear the history?
180
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,560
OK.
181
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:33,439
Hello!
182
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:34,960
Ohh.
183
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,079
Can I... can I give you a hand?
184
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,719
No!
185
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,359
Shut up.
186
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,359
OK.
187
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,559
GRUNTING
188
00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:57,880
Here, take my arm.
189
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,799
Here.
Leave me alone.
190
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,920
I'm not an imbecile.
191
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,399
Why are so many old people posh?
192
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:10,679
Aargh!
193
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:12,279
Oh, come here.
194
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,440
Seriously.
Get your hands off me!
195
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:18,880
Bloody fucking pussy-lickers!
196
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:23,720
MRS BAILEY GROANS
197
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,040
Pussy lickers!
198
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,000
LAUGHING
199
00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:38,679
Are you all done?
Yeah, sorry.
200
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:40,199
I just...
201
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,559
Nothing depraved, just women with...
202
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:45,359
I don't want to know. OK.
203
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,200
See you later then, Dan.
204
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,679
I'm not following you.
205
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:52,160
Careful of the boxes.
206
00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:56,199
Just putting Alison in the bins.
207
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,079
Unless you want to do it.
208
00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,559
She hasn't got a head,
but she's nice to cuddle.
209
00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:02,799
I'm all right, thanks, Dan.
210
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,239
Becky?
I'm OK, thanks.
211
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,120
No problem. See you later.
212
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,400
DOOR OPENS
213
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,160
I forgot my bag. Whoops.
214
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,240
FOOTSTEPS
215
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,439
I can't believe that.
216
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:41,079
DOOR OPENS
I can't bloody believe it.
217
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,079
WOMAN: How can a banana cost that?
218
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:47,119
I've never paid more than 30p for a
banana. It's bloody ridiculous.
219
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:50,759
Oh, they still haven't got rid
of their effing boxes!
220
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:52,959
Oh, they're such wankers,
I hate them!
221
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,799
They're such a pair of
lazy, bloody arseholes!
222
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:57,279
Oh, calm down.
223
00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:59,039
I can't effing calm down!
224
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,720
DOOR SLAMS
225
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,839
LAURA: My God,
We had such an amazing time, Becks.
226
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,319
It was so hot, like really hot.
It was on the equator.
227
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:11,519
We had to wear hats, and the hotel
was amazing, wasn't it, Paul?
228
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:12,879
PAUL: They had Wi-Fi.
229
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,000
And all the staff were very
respectful, you know?
230
00:14:15,001 --> 00:14:17,000
Knew their place and did as we said.
231
00:14:17,001 --> 00:14:18,998
The adult pool had a diving board
in it.
232
00:14:18,999 --> 00:14:20,960
He didn't stop diving, Becks.
Mind the boxes, Paul.
233
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:25,759
Laura did a dive and all the
men wolf whistled at her.
234
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:28,279
Paul, you're embarrassing me.
Seriously,
235
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,000
every man round that pool
had a stiffy.
236
00:14:30,001 --> 00:14:32,159
It's not for me to say.
237
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:35,039
We're actually just on our way
to the cinema, Laura. Sorry.
238
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:40,279
Oh, Becks, the cinema's open 24/7.
Let's go inside and look at our photos.
239
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,199
Oh, no, we do really want to see
them, definitely.
240
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,640
But we need to be at the cinema
before Dennis's boss comes back.
241
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,240
What?
242
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,040
Let us in.
243
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:03,439
I've got a new best friend, Adriana.
244
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:06,279
She was in charge of the
entertainment at the hotel.
245
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,919
Beach games, water sports, Macarena.
246
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:12,559
She's so fit, Gazza fucked her.
247
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:14,840
Have you got your key?
248
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,439
No.
249
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,519
Oh, I can't find it.
250
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,439
And I got poorly.
Didn't I, Paul?
251
00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:24,519
Yeah, she had one of those
24-hour superbugs.
252
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:27,039
Hmm, I think I ate a bad peach.
253
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:29,839
Me and Paul booked this trip to
the ruins,
254
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:32,959
but obviously I couldn't go
because I was on the lavatory.
255
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,479
So Adriana took my place.
256
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:35,720
Yeah.
257
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,359
Did you have fun at the ruins?
Yeah.
258
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:41,439
It was good.
259
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,560
No, they were good ruins.
Mm.
260
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,639
Found it?
Um... no.
261
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,080
No.
Have you got your key?
262
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:56,959
Er...
263
00:15:56,960 --> 00:16:01,160
Becks, can you let me in, please?
I'm claustrophobic.
264
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:13,639
Thank you.
265
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,799
Oh, my God, Becks, Spain is so camp!
266
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,439
Every Spaniard we met was either
gay or a woman.
267
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:23,439
And they eat so much paella, the
Spaniards, they can't get enough of it.
268
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,959
They have it for breakfast,
lunch and dinner, seven days a week.
269
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,120
And siestas.
Yeah,
270
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:29,719
they have all these siestas,
271
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,359
which means all the little locals,
all the camp little Spaniards,
272
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:34,439
they sleep during the day
and come out at night.
273
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,679
It's like a tradition.
It goes back, like, millions of years.
274
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,600
STEVE: That's very interesting.
Shall we, er...?
275
00:16:39,601 --> 00:16:42,679
PAUL: Have you been to Spain, Steve?
No, Tenerife, but not...
276
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,640
LAURA: Oh, tell them about the dogs,
Paul.
277
00:16:44,641 --> 00:16:47,479
They've got these mental dogs
that don't have any parents
278
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,119
and they eat shit and bark at you.
279
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,199
Paul made friends with one of them.
280
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:53,879
Yeah, Sparky.
281
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,679
He liked bacon, didn't he, Paul?
Yeah, ham.
282
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,159
And croissants. Yeah.
283
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,240
LAURA AND PAUL CONTINUE CHATTING
284
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:06,159
Becks!
I want to show you our photos.
285
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,679
OK.
286
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,519
STEVE SIGHS
287
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,400
We're going to have to look at
her photos.
288
00:17:12,401 --> 00:17:13,919
Can I touch your tits?
289
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:15,040
Yes.
290
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,879
We have to be nice about their
photos.
291
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:22,759
OK.
292
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:26,559
I'll text Uncle Dennis,
let him know we're running late.
293
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,640
PAUL: I wanna do it. No, Laura,
You'll get it all wrong.
294
00:17:28,641 --> 00:17:30,799
I won't, Paul.
295
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,999
Yes, you will.
296
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,519
Sparky.
297
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:35,560
Steve, this is Sparky.
298
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,399
Ooh, wow!
299
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:44,160
Look at it properly, Steve.
It was Paul's friend.
300
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:50,639
CLEARS THROAT
Oh, yeah. Oh, he looks lovely.
301
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,199
Becky?
302
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,199
Yeah, nice.
303
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,759
He was a real ladies' dog.
Proper buff.
304
00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:02,239
And also, just...
just a very brilliant dog.
305
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:03,519
He looks it.
306
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:06,799
Paul cried when we had to come home.
307
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,400
It was the end of an era.
308
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,199
That's our room.
309
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:16,439
There was this crusty old bitch
that cleaned it.
310
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:20,639
That's me watching Sky. They had all
the Sky movies and they had MTV,
311
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:21,880
but it was foreign,
and Disney channel...
312
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,999
But they didn't show Micky Mouse
once. No!
313
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,599
Paul's going to write to
Walt Disney about it.
314
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,639
That's our room from the balcony.
315
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,800
That's the door that leads
to the bathroom.
316
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:39,079
Toilet, the bath, the sink.
317
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,319
The hot tap was really hot,
wasn't it? Yeah.
318
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,999
Was it?
Yeah, we had to mix in some cold.
319
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,559
OK.
320
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,359
That's me in the mirror.
'70s night.
321
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:50,399
THEY LAUGH
322
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,239
Don't know what that is.
323
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:53,879
Me in a wig.
324
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,639
Laura crying.
325
00:18:56,640 --> 00:19:00,239
Some fat bloke we used to punish.
326
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,600
Him and his wife were well fat.
Really old as well.
327
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,520
Didn't get involved in anything.
Yeah, we hated them.
328
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,360
Everyone in our little gang did.
329
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,280
I hate shy people.
330
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:15,199
A lizard.
331
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,879
The sea.
332
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,239
A bigger lizard.
Mm.
333
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:22,680
This bloke we used to see
looked like Des Lynam.
334
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:28,640
LAUGHING
Yeah.
335
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:34,200
GIGGLING
336
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,360
Oh, that's Adriana.
337
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,960
Oh, she looks nice, Paul.
338
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:44,399
Yeah.
339
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,359
Yeah.
We're organising a sing-along.
340
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,920
That's me and my dinner.
341
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,199
Laura and her dinner.
342
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,760
That's me after my dinner.
Look how full I am!
343
00:19:57,520 --> 00:19:59,759
Me doing one of my dives.
344
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:01,080
Laura reading.
345
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:06,120
LAUGHS Me dressed as a pirate.
It was pirate night.
346
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:10,399
A funny rock.
347
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:11,920
My collection of shells.
348
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:17,679
Oh, this was Ferdinando, or
something.
349
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,959
He was this short little Spaniard
who was there on his own.
350
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,519
Small bloke, wasn't he, Laura?
Yeah, he was small.
351
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:26,520
Smallest bloke in Spain?
Yeah.
352
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,240
Laura in her bikini.
353
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:37,559
One of the barmen had a motorbike
and let us use it for the shoot.
354
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,759
She kept getting beeped at,
didn't you?
355
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,999
Yeah.
And people were shouting stuff.
356
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,640
It was brilliant, Becks.
357
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,839
We got one of the scaggy old maids
to oil me.
358
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,120
Very nice.
Mmm!
359
00:20:49,121 --> 00:20:50,639
D'you like them, Becks?
Yeah.
360
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,240
I'm going to start a portfolio,
aren't I, Paul?
361
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,960
She's going to be
the next Pamela Anderson.
362
00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,640
Yeah.
363
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,079
PAUL CHUCKLES
364
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,279
Do you like this?
365
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:08,919
It was only a fiver.
366
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,319
Yeah, it's lovely.
367
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,639
Carry on, Paul.
368
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,039
I think we're coming to the end
of them now.
369
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,000
And these are just in the airport.
370
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,399
OK. Well, what a lot of excellent
photos.
371
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,999
Thanks for showing us. Been lovely
to see you both, but we...
372
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,560
Give them their present, Paul.
Oh, yeah.
373
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,039
Now, I know you've gotta go, Steve,
374
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,519
but Paul went to a lot of effort
to get this.
375
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:35,639
Oh, that's nice.
376
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,959
It's shower gel and shit.
377
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:39,199
Thank you.
378
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,959
Oh, wow, thanks, Paul.
379
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:42,480
There's biscuits in there, too.
380
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,159
Thanks. We made friends
with the skanky maid
381
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:47,639
so she'd give us more.
382
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,038
Yeah, and I raided her trolley.
383
00:21:49,039 --> 00:21:49,920
That's really nice of you.
384
00:21:49,921 --> 00:21:51,639
Thanks, Paul.
No worries.
385
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:52,680
You'd do it for me.
386
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,519
OK, you can go now, Becks.
387
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,960
Me and Paul are going to go round
Shelly's and give her her sombrero.
388
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:06,399
Well, thanks for coming round,
Laura.
389
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,679
Glad you both had such a nice time.
390
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,999
You didn't mention my tan, Becks.
Yeah, looks great.
391
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,480
Thank you. Arm, give me your arm.
392
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,840
See? Yeah.
393
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,519
So when are we going to see you next?
394
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:25,799
Dunno, soon? Thursday?
395
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,679
Are you around, Thursday? Maybe.
396
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,039
Or Friday.
We could do something Friday.
397
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,079
OK. I'm also free Tuesday and
Wednesday.
398
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,679
Great.
So Tuesday, Wednesday,
399
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:35,720
Thursday or Friday then.
400
00:22:35,721 --> 00:22:36,799
Yeah. Cool.
401
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,280
I'll put it in my new calendar.
402
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,680
PAUL: Did you bring the dongle So we can
show them to Shelly? LAURA: Yes, Paul.
403
00:22:43,681 --> 00:22:45,599
Dan, we're off now.
404
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,920
Yes, yeah. Definitely, yes.
405
00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:54,079
Or I could go and get the photos
from when I went to Hastings?
406
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:55,919
We're just about to leave, Dan.
407
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,639
All right.
408
00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:58,759
Plymouth?
409
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:00,159
Come on.
410
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:06,159
Sorry, I'm just trying to think what I'm
going to do for the rest of the day.
411
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:09,519
Internet? Go on the internet.
412
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,879
No, my laptop's covered in pigeon
shit.
413
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,679
Anita?
414
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:15,479
No, she's in Aberdeen.
415
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:17,759
Aberdeen? What's she doing there?
416
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:19,080
Who knows?
417
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:27,400
It's dry.
418
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:29,960
Thanks.
419
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:40,039
Right, I'll go and collect my parcel.
420
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:41,520
OK.
421
00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:14,440
Bye, then.
BOTH: Bye!
422
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,879
Ain't it annoying
when you have to be nice to people?
423
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,599
Have you got everything? Yes.
424
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:27,760
Come on.
425
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,680
Wait! Oh, keys.
426
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:36,960
No. Wallet.
427
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:45,919
Sorry, come on.
428
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:49,119
DOOR SHUTS
So, what films are on?
429
00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:51,999
I don't know, we'll just see
whatever's on when we get there.
430
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,240
Hang on a minute.
I'm going to get cold, aren't I?
431
00:24:54,241 --> 00:24:56,599
You'll be fine, Steve, it's sunny.
432
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,319
DOOR OPENS
433
00:24:58,320 --> 00:24:59,960
Doesn't mean it's warm.
434
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,120
Can we just go to the cinema?!
435
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:07,960
Say it in a deep voice.
436
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,880
DEEP VOICE: Can we just go
To the cinema?
437
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,120
CHUCKLES
Yes.
438
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,839
Come on, we are so late.
439
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,639
CLATTERING, SCREAMING
440
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:25,959
Oh, bloody hell. Fuck!
441
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,079
MRS BAILEY: Help me!
442
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:31,599
GROANS
443
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,679
Oh, God!
444
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:35,479
It's 20 past.
445
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:38,999
Bloody shit-eating dog-fuckers!
446
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,359
We could go to the cinema tomorrow.
He doesn't work Tuesdays,
447
00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:45,119
we'd have to pay.
I'm not paying to watch a film.
448
00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:46,599
MRS BAILEY GROANS
449
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:48,040
Shall we just leave her?
450
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,679
GROANING: I need my Alfred.
451
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,440
Help me.
452
00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:01,759
Hi. Are you OK? No.
453
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:03,999
We didn't see you down there.
Are you OK?
454
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,999
What happened?
455
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,839
Your boxes, I slipped
on your bloody boxes,
456
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:11,680
you fucking rapist!
457
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:15,519
Rapist!
458
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,440
Fucking pussy-licker!
459
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:24,759
Fucking minge-fingering animal
pussy-lickers!
460
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:26,919
I'll call an ambulance.
461
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:34,119
GROANING
Ah! Fucking... rapist pussy-lickers!
462
00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:36,999
♪ My heart goes boom-bang-a-bang
463
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,519
♪ Boom-bang-a-bang
When you are near
464
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,359
♪ Boom-bang-a-ban-bang all the time
465
00:26:42,360 --> 00:26:47,079
♪ It's such a lovely feeling
466
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:51,159
♪ When I'm in your arms
467
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:54,959
♪ Don't go away, I'm gonna stay
my whole life through
468
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,440
♪ Boom-bang-a-bang-bang
Close to you. ♪
469
00:26:57,465 --> 00:26:59,465
Subtitles by APOLLO
www.addic7ed.com
470
00:26:59,515 --> 00:27:04,065
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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