All language subtitles for Wynonna.Earp.S05E03.WEBRip.x264-ION10

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,167 --> 00:00:01,567 Previously on "Wynonna Earp"... 2 00:00:01,569 --> 00:00:03,907 I am a fully grown half-angel. 3 00:00:03,909 --> 00:00:06,276 - I am the guardian. - I'm sworn to protect Waverly! 4 00:00:06,278 --> 00:00:08,547 They're working on some inter-dimensional gateway. 5 00:00:08,549 --> 00:00:10,664 It's the 2005 chili cook-off all over again. 6 00:00:10,666 --> 00:00:12,399 I'm gonna be waiting for you 7 00:00:12,401 --> 00:00:13,600 back in Purgatory. 8 00:00:13,602 --> 00:00:15,102 Ahh! 9 00:00:15,104 --> 00:00:18,205 I'm here, and we gotta get back there! Ahh! 10 00:00:18,207 --> 00:00:19,940 No... 11 00:00:19,942 --> 00:00:21,042 Waverly. 12 00:00:21,911 --> 00:00:24,278 - The town... - You've been gone 18 months, 13 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,580 three weeks, and four days. 14 00:00:26,582 --> 00:00:27,981 All of you have. 15 00:00:34,488 --> 00:00:37,758 Someone has been handing out hemp neckties. 16 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,060 That's a clear fashion don't. 17 00:00:40,062 --> 00:00:41,528 Who the hell? And why? 18 00:00:41,530 --> 00:00:42,696 Frontier justice. 19 00:00:42,698 --> 00:00:44,398 Retribution must not only be paid, 20 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:45,933 it must be seen to be paid. 21 00:00:45,935 --> 00:00:48,569 The old-timey version of "pics or it didn't happen". 22 00:00:49,538 --> 00:00:51,204 Something here is pretty off. 23 00:00:51,206 --> 00:00:52,606 Shorty's. 24 00:00:52,608 --> 00:00:54,708 We think better with a little fire in our bellies. 25 00:01:01,082 --> 00:01:03,450 Uh, Nedley and I were here, 26 00:01:03,452 --> 00:01:05,686 after you followed Waverly up the stairs. 27 00:01:05,688 --> 00:01:07,521 We drank your tequila, 28 00:01:07,523 --> 00:01:09,623 uh, but we did not macramé. 29 00:01:09,625 --> 00:01:12,392 So unless this is just a surprise makeover 30 00:01:12,394 --> 00:01:14,461 by The Property Brothers... 31 00:01:14,463 --> 00:01:16,997 On occasion, I will put it on 32 00:01:16,999 --> 00:01:19,600 in the middle of the afternoon, if I have cleaning to do. 33 00:01:21,737 --> 00:01:22,970 What is this menu? 34 00:01:22,972 --> 00:01:25,439 "Gunfight At The Okra Corral". 35 00:01:25,441 --> 00:01:27,307 What the hell is a Cock Holliday? 36 00:01:27,309 --> 00:01:30,110 It says it is chicken bone broth. 37 00:01:30,112 --> 00:01:32,479 - Is that not simply soup? - Wynonna? 38 00:01:32,481 --> 00:01:34,081 Chrissy Nedley. 39 00:01:34,083 --> 00:01:36,049 Are you a sight for sore livers. 40 00:01:36,051 --> 00:01:38,986 - How dare you?! - Hey, whoa! 41 00:01:38,988 --> 00:01:40,754 What the fig, Chrissy?! 42 00:01:40,756 --> 00:01:42,222 - Wynonna. - Ahh! 43 00:01:46,195 --> 00:01:47,628 Let her go. 44 00:01:52,534 --> 00:01:54,134 Alright, say your piece, Chrissy. 45 00:01:54,136 --> 00:01:55,669 Say your piece, Chrissy, just say your piece. 46 00:01:55,671 --> 00:01:57,504 If you wanna chat, I can chat. I'm a good listener. 47 00:01:57,506 --> 00:02:00,841 Wynonna Earp, I am placing you under citizen's arrest. 48 00:02:00,843 --> 00:02:02,943 For the murder of my father. 49 00:02:02,945 --> 00:02:05,078 Randall Nedley. 50 00:02:10,252 --> 00:02:12,320 It's just so good to be home. 51 00:02:12,322 --> 00:02:16,790 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 52 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:24,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 53 00:02:33,342 --> 00:02:35,008 I would never hurt Nedley! 54 00:02:35,010 --> 00:02:36,843 As if we'd take the word of an Earp! 55 00:02:36,845 --> 00:02:38,478 Your dad did. He trusted me! 56 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,947 - Unhand her at once! - Nedley can't be dead. 57 00:02:40,949 --> 00:02:42,182 We demand proof. 58 00:02:42,184 --> 00:02:44,174 He was last seen with Wynonna. 59 00:02:44,176 --> 00:02:46,152 And that's when she disappeared for a year and a half! 60 00:02:46,154 --> 00:02:49,089 - What a coincidence! - Your dad was helping me! 61 00:02:49,091 --> 00:02:50,157 He was hurt, 62 00:02:50,159 --> 00:02:52,092 but I left him safe with Mercedes! 63 00:02:52,094 --> 00:02:53,527 Wait. When did you say? 64 00:02:53,529 --> 00:02:55,595 We were gone mere days. You lie. 65 00:02:55,597 --> 00:02:56,696 No, no! 66 00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:58,065 We've been waiting too long. 67 00:02:58,067 --> 00:02:59,232 No! 68 00:03:02,771 --> 00:03:04,805 Doc! 69 00:03:04,807 --> 00:03:07,408 Wynonna! 70 00:03:08,410 --> 00:03:11,212 Put the rope down and back away from the woman. 71 00:03:13,649 --> 00:03:15,415 Sheriff. 72 00:03:15,417 --> 00:03:17,051 That's not the sheriff. Where's Nicole? 73 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,421 Miss Chrissy, 74 00:03:21,423 --> 00:03:23,056 your dad lived his life for the law. 75 00:03:23,058 --> 00:03:24,925 What would he think of your behavior now? 76 00:03:24,927 --> 00:03:26,528 - You didn't know him. - No. 77 00:03:26,530 --> 00:03:28,972 But I do know this is not the way we do things 78 00:03:28,974 --> 00:03:30,630 in Purgatory. 79 00:03:30,632 --> 00:03:32,600 We want justice! 80 00:03:35,003 --> 00:03:36,603 Thank you. 81 00:03:36,605 --> 00:03:37,871 Yeah, this isn't right! 82 00:03:37,873 --> 00:03:39,272 Just like the criminal vermin 83 00:03:39,274 --> 00:03:41,341 we hung last Monday, 84 00:03:41,343 --> 00:03:43,578 Miss Earp shall have a trial first. 85 00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:46,947 Get Waverly! Get Nicole! 86 00:03:46,949 --> 00:03:48,916 I shall get everyone. 87 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,027 - Sup? - Whoa! 88 00:04:01,130 --> 00:04:03,730 Valdez. Rachel Valdez. 89 00:04:03,732 --> 00:04:04,898 Hi. 90 00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:06,934 - I'm, uh... - Cold? 91 00:04:08,971 --> 00:04:10,904 Yeah. Frozen. 92 00:04:10,906 --> 00:04:12,340 I mean, I'm practically Elsa! 93 00:04:13,876 --> 00:04:16,977 - I had no idea you were... - Kombucha? 94 00:04:16,979 --> 00:04:18,411 Pardon? 95 00:04:18,413 --> 00:04:20,580 I make it myself. And after last night, 96 00:04:20,582 --> 00:04:22,016 I bet you need some hydration. 97 00:04:23,018 --> 00:04:25,452 Mmm. 98 00:04:25,454 --> 00:04:27,487 Microbes. 99 00:04:27,489 --> 00:04:29,656 So, you're staying here? 100 00:04:31,493 --> 00:04:33,193 Batman in the microwave! 101 00:04:33,195 --> 00:04:35,328 What? What is that? 102 00:04:35,330 --> 00:04:37,298 - There's something in the trap. - Which one? 103 00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:40,066 - Behind the barn. - What are we trapping? 104 00:04:41,637 --> 00:04:43,503 Monsters. 105 00:04:43,505 --> 00:04:44,604 Huh. 106 00:04:52,781 --> 00:04:54,514 There's ten traps on the homestead. 107 00:04:54,516 --> 00:04:56,783 We gotta do a full circuit check every two hours. 108 00:04:56,785 --> 00:04:58,552 I thought the curse was broken. 109 00:04:58,554 --> 00:05:00,020 Traps aren't for Revenants. 110 00:05:00,022 --> 00:05:01,855 There's all sorts of things in the woods now. 111 00:05:01,857 --> 00:05:03,091 And one of them, 112 00:05:03,093 --> 00:05:05,625 this big ugly troll, wants in here bad. 113 00:05:05,627 --> 00:05:08,062 Oh, tarnation! 114 00:05:09,467 --> 00:05:12,568 Thank you for the exceptionally tight welcome. 115 00:05:12,570 --> 00:05:15,302 Rachel, Doc, Doc, Rachel. 116 00:05:15,304 --> 00:05:17,037 Sup? 117 00:05:17,039 --> 00:05:18,406 Don't move. 118 00:05:19,174 --> 00:05:21,842 I am rather determined not to. 119 00:05:23,512 --> 00:05:25,178 Ohh! 120 00:05:25,180 --> 00:05:28,181 It is good to see you, Sheriff Haught. 121 00:05:28,183 --> 00:05:30,684 Yeah, well, these days, it's just Nicole, or... 122 00:05:30,686 --> 00:05:32,453 "that crazy ginger bitch". 123 00:05:35,090 --> 00:05:36,256 God, it's... 124 00:05:36,258 --> 00:05:37,891 I'm so, so glad you made it, Henry. 125 00:05:37,893 --> 00:05:39,192 Ugh! 126 00:05:39,194 --> 00:05:41,061 You smell aggressively bad. 127 00:05:41,063 --> 00:05:43,330 Yeah, we use skunk juice to bait the traps. 128 00:05:43,332 --> 00:05:45,031 Wynonna isn't marinating in skunk juice 129 00:05:45,033 --> 00:05:46,233 in one of these, is she? 130 00:05:46,235 --> 00:05:48,401 - Wynonna is in jail. - What? 131 00:05:48,403 --> 00:05:49,669 They have framed her. 132 00:05:49,671 --> 00:05:52,038 For the murder of Randy Nedley. 133 00:05:53,909 --> 00:05:55,075 Who are you? 134 00:05:55,077 --> 00:05:56,676 You can call me the Sheriff. 135 00:05:56,678 --> 00:05:58,745 Okay, then you can call me an Uber. 136 00:05:58,747 --> 00:06:01,915 Ooh! Uh... 137 00:06:01,917 --> 00:06:04,250 Back away from the glass, 6-1-3-3. 138 00:06:04,252 --> 00:06:05,285 Dude... 139 00:06:05,287 --> 00:06:06,988 There's a guy in there, I'm not going in there. 140 00:06:06,990 --> 00:06:08,688 Yeah, main cell's chock-a-block. 141 00:06:08,690 --> 00:06:11,559 But believe you me, he's far from the worst of 'em. 142 00:06:13,528 --> 00:06:14,828 Uh... 143 00:06:14,830 --> 00:06:17,098 Assless chap? I want my phone call! 144 00:06:18,033 --> 00:06:21,167 - I want my phone call! - Sorry I can't hear you. 145 00:06:21,169 --> 00:06:22,903 I demand a phone call! 146 00:06:25,774 --> 00:06:29,376 - Who are you? - Casey. You? 147 00:06:29,378 --> 00:06:31,378 Local nogoodnik, Wynonna Earp. 148 00:06:31,380 --> 00:06:33,647 Ahh! 149 00:06:33,649 --> 00:06:35,048 I thought I'd be safe in here! 150 00:06:35,050 --> 00:06:36,616 Wow. Didn't even have to steal your pudding cup 151 00:06:36,618 --> 00:06:38,218 to establish who's boss. Nice. 152 00:06:38,220 --> 00:06:41,522 From demons and famous demon hunters. 153 00:06:44,192 --> 00:06:46,225 Back up one sec. 154 00:06:46,227 --> 00:06:49,329 Pretend I haven't been here for, say, a year and a half, 155 00:06:49,331 --> 00:06:50,864 and just explain to me. 156 00:06:50,866 --> 00:06:52,265 Uh, since the town was evacuated 157 00:06:52,267 --> 00:06:54,701 - for the forest fires? - Say I remember that. 158 00:06:54,703 --> 00:06:56,870 Oh, well, the townspeople left, 159 00:06:56,872 --> 00:06:58,104 but demons came. 160 00:06:58,106 --> 00:06:59,873 You know when there's, like, a bush party? 161 00:06:59,875 --> 00:07:01,608 And nobody knows who started it, 162 00:07:01,610 --> 00:07:03,677 but everybody hears about it somehow? 163 00:07:03,679 --> 00:07:05,145 They all just started showing up. 164 00:07:05,147 --> 00:07:06,680 Everybody shows up for bush. 165 00:07:06,682 --> 00:07:09,015 Yeah, the townspeople were allowed to come back home, 166 00:07:09,017 --> 00:07:11,184 and there was, like, an ongoing demon rager, 167 00:07:11,186 --> 00:07:13,219 centered around the woods. 168 00:07:13,221 --> 00:07:15,622 - The stairs. - I'm not, I'm not staring! 169 00:07:15,624 --> 00:07:17,257 Also I'm only a half-demon! 170 00:07:17,259 --> 00:07:18,391 So, you know, please don't shoot! 171 00:07:18,393 --> 00:07:19,592 Casey, don't be a weenie. 172 00:07:19,594 --> 00:07:21,494 I don't even have my gun anymore. 173 00:07:21,496 --> 00:07:23,496 In here... 174 00:07:23,498 --> 00:07:25,138 Obviously the Sheriff would have taken it. 175 00:07:25,901 --> 00:07:27,767 Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. 176 00:07:28,870 --> 00:07:31,538 So the woods are full of monsters. 177 00:07:31,540 --> 00:07:33,173 Crawling with 'em. 178 00:07:33,175 --> 00:07:35,975 These days, the only place scarier than in here... 179 00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:37,644 is out there. 180 00:08:01,041 --> 00:08:04,409 I have a half-knitted scarf I was making him for Christmas. 181 00:08:04,411 --> 00:08:06,311 His waders are still in the barn. 182 00:08:06,313 --> 00:08:07,347 Yeah. I know, Waves. 183 00:08:07,349 --> 00:08:09,890 It's tough to think of a world without Randy Nedley. 184 00:08:09,892 --> 00:08:13,594 How can he just... be gone? 185 00:08:13,596 --> 00:08:16,530 It was months of chaos after the evacuation ended. 186 00:08:16,532 --> 00:08:18,365 People came back, yeah, but... 187 00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:20,802 to be blunt, others just disappeared. 188 00:08:21,571 --> 00:08:22,870 Kate? 189 00:08:22,872 --> 00:08:24,672 I saw her on one of the evacuation trains. 190 00:08:24,674 --> 00:08:25,740 But beyond that... 191 00:08:25,742 --> 00:08:27,742 Jeremy? And Robin? 192 00:08:27,744 --> 00:08:29,062 Jeremy's getting by, 193 00:08:29,064 --> 00:08:31,431 though I haven't heard from him in months. 194 00:08:31,433 --> 00:08:33,367 Robin... 195 00:08:35,437 --> 00:08:37,235 How could we have been in that garden 196 00:08:37,237 --> 00:08:38,571 for a year and a half? 197 00:08:38,573 --> 00:08:41,876 We were not. Time must be differentiated, 198 00:08:41,878 --> 00:08:43,242 fluid in some manner. 199 00:08:43,244 --> 00:08:46,079 Yeah, God, it's such a mind-frog. 200 00:08:46,081 --> 00:08:47,780 I mean, how old even am I? 201 00:08:48,984 --> 00:08:50,618 I missed so many Property Brothers! 202 00:08:51,486 --> 00:08:53,019 I feel that. 203 00:08:53,021 --> 00:08:55,088 At least if we'd have lived the past 18 months, 204 00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:56,423 it would be easier to... 205 00:08:56,425 --> 00:08:58,727 There was nothing easy about those months. Not a thing. 206 00:08:58,729 --> 00:09:00,863 No, I didn't mean it like that. 207 00:09:02,263 --> 00:09:03,596 Not like that at all. 208 00:09:03,598 --> 00:09:05,598 There's no almond milk. 209 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,401 It's still hard to get some things. Sorry. 210 00:09:08,403 --> 00:09:11,804 Please don't say you're sorry anymore, okay? 211 00:09:11,806 --> 00:09:13,406 You don't need to be. 212 00:09:13,408 --> 00:09:15,376 What you have done, Sheriff... 213 00:09:18,980 --> 00:09:20,847 Nicole... 214 00:09:20,849 --> 00:09:22,815 is nothing short of heroic. 215 00:09:22,817 --> 00:09:24,557 In the face of all adversity, 216 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:26,827 you alone kept the homestead safe. 217 00:09:28,123 --> 00:09:29,522 I had Rachel. 218 00:09:29,524 --> 00:09:31,325 And the Earp shotguns. 219 00:09:32,494 --> 00:09:35,429 And Wynonna still hasn't come home. 220 00:09:36,665 --> 00:09:38,197 They have to let us see her. 221 00:09:38,199 --> 00:09:41,668 Wynonna said she last left Nedley with Mercedes. 222 00:09:41,670 --> 00:09:44,203 - What is the news on her? - It's not good. 223 00:09:44,205 --> 00:09:46,139 There's a new demon bar out on Horsehead Trail. 224 00:09:46,141 --> 00:09:48,777 And, though given the circumstances, 225 00:09:48,779 --> 00:09:50,346 it is but a trifle... 226 00:09:51,546 --> 00:09:53,846 is there word of my Charlene? 227 00:10:03,324 --> 00:10:04,457 Woo-hoo! 228 00:10:15,086 --> 00:10:17,354 Vacation is over, assholes. 229 00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:21,842 It is time for a Holliday. 230 00:10:24,546 --> 00:10:26,246 The club is members only. 231 00:10:27,315 --> 00:10:28,615 Well, here are my dues. 232 00:10:31,086 --> 00:10:33,986 Salutations, Patrons of... 233 00:10:33,988 --> 00:10:36,723 The Glory Hole? 234 00:10:36,725 --> 00:10:39,258 Is that really the name of this latrine? 235 00:10:39,260 --> 00:10:42,128 "Why should I obtain by force 236 00:10:42,130 --> 00:10:45,465 that which I can obtain by cheating?" 237 00:10:45,467 --> 00:10:48,434 John Henry Holliday, 238 00:10:48,436 --> 00:10:51,871 born 1851, Griffin, Georgia. 239 00:10:51,873 --> 00:10:52,873 Amon. 240 00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:56,809 I'm the proprietor of this latrine. 241 00:10:56,811 --> 00:10:59,712 You sure you wouldn't rather cheat than force your way in? 242 00:10:59,714 --> 00:11:01,781 Bring me Ms. Gardner. 243 00:11:01,783 --> 00:11:04,650 Unless you fancy kissing hardwood too. 244 00:11:04,652 --> 00:11:06,385 Hmm, well... 245 00:11:06,387 --> 00:11:08,540 There were parts of that scenario 246 00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:10,977 which I found enticing. 247 00:11:13,061 --> 00:11:15,729 Big fan, Mr. H. 248 00:11:17,799 --> 00:11:19,433 It's a demon bar. 249 00:11:20,468 --> 00:11:24,505 You think we're not thrilled to welcome an undead legend? 250 00:11:27,041 --> 00:11:29,242 Not the worst thing I've been called. 251 00:11:31,913 --> 00:11:34,480 Welcome to my Glory Hole. 252 00:11:34,482 --> 00:11:36,616 That's right, bonbons. 253 00:11:36,618 --> 00:11:38,918 It's time for your nicest vice, 254 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:41,621 the mistress of the ruthless. 255 00:11:43,825 --> 00:11:45,124 Portia Control. 256 00:11:45,126 --> 00:11:47,860 ♪ Do you want to go downtown ♪ 257 00:11:47,862 --> 00:11:50,596 ♪ See the city lights, it's the red light district ♪ 258 00:11:50,598 --> 00:11:53,666 ♪ Do you want to go downtown ♪ 259 00:11:56,236 --> 00:11:58,838 If they think they're gonna lock up my sister 260 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,007 for the maybe murder of my favorite Sheriff, 261 00:12:01,009 --> 00:12:02,842 present company excepted, of course. 262 00:12:02,844 --> 00:12:04,277 Present company not the Sheriff. 263 00:12:04,279 --> 00:12:06,546 Yeah, and what the hell's that about?! 264 00:12:06,548 --> 00:12:08,447 Yeah. You haven't met the "they" yet. 265 00:12:08,449 --> 00:12:10,683 Nicole. I am gonna go to town 266 00:12:10,685 --> 00:12:12,618 and I am gonna kick so much ass, 267 00:12:12,620 --> 00:12:14,154 I might go up a shoe size. 268 00:12:15,356 --> 00:12:17,224 God, I've missed you, Waverly Earp. 269 00:12:18,927 --> 00:12:21,027 Though how do I, an adult woman, 270 00:12:21,029 --> 00:12:23,328 own this many fuzzy garments? 271 00:12:23,330 --> 00:12:25,331 It's only cause I organized it by fabric. 272 00:12:25,333 --> 00:12:27,654 I did faux fur, flirty florals, 273 00:12:27,656 --> 00:12:29,257 feminine flannels... 274 00:12:30,538 --> 00:12:32,038 You saved it all. 275 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:34,040 So carefully. 276 00:12:34,042 --> 00:12:36,006 Yeah, everything I could, anyway. 277 00:12:36,008 --> 00:12:37,575 A little help here, please! 278 00:12:37,577 --> 00:12:40,246 Geez. Hey, Rachel! 279 00:12:40,248 --> 00:12:42,621 Not like that! 280 00:12:42,623 --> 00:12:45,552 Honestly, it's like this girl has never milked a skunk before. 281 00:12:46,654 --> 00:12:49,340 You're saying all these words like they make sense. 282 00:12:49,342 --> 00:12:52,158 I gotta go save her from herself. 283 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,428 Come back safe, okay? Again. 284 00:12:55,263 --> 00:12:57,096 And with Wynonna this time. 285 00:12:57,098 --> 00:12:58,764 I just need your juice! 286 00:12:58,766 --> 00:13:00,968 Okay. 287 00:13:05,773 --> 00:13:07,506 What are you in for? 288 00:13:07,508 --> 00:13:09,436 I splatowed one of my customers. 289 00:13:09,438 --> 00:13:11,072 I thought she was a Medusa. 290 00:13:11,074 --> 00:13:13,842 - 'Cause of how high you were? - No, because she was a Medusa. 291 00:13:16,651 --> 00:13:19,819 If Purgatory's such a hellhole now, why stay? 292 00:13:19,821 --> 00:13:22,422 Wait... How'd you get around the problem of the border? 293 00:13:23,789 --> 00:13:25,223 What problem with the border? 294 00:13:25,225 --> 00:13:27,359 Oh, did I not mention that? 295 00:13:27,361 --> 00:13:28,694 Okay... 296 00:13:28,696 --> 00:13:30,663 After all the demons moth-to-a-flamed 297 00:13:30,665 --> 00:13:33,607 the Ghost River Triangle, some government dickpickles 298 00:13:33,609 --> 00:13:35,868 set up, like, a quarantine around the place. 299 00:13:35,870 --> 00:13:37,605 Whoa, whoa, whoa, so, people can't get out now? 300 00:13:37,607 --> 00:13:39,872 Demons can't. Reg peeps can. 301 00:13:39,874 --> 00:13:41,274 Good. 302 00:13:41,276 --> 00:13:43,075 Wait. Not criminals! 303 00:13:43,077 --> 00:13:45,211 There's no way in Herojuana they'll let you out. 304 00:13:45,213 --> 00:13:47,914 This is a Russian doll of suckage. 305 00:13:47,916 --> 00:13:50,940 Inside an arbitrary border, there's a hellmouth, 306 00:13:50,942 --> 00:13:52,546 inside that is a demon bush party, 307 00:13:52,548 --> 00:13:53,986 inside that is a jail, 308 00:13:53,988 --> 00:13:55,421 and inside that, 309 00:13:55,423 --> 00:13:57,456 I'm at the mercy of a Dukes of Hazzard reject 310 00:13:57,458 --> 00:13:59,325 who wouldn't know justice if it splatowed him 311 00:13:59,327 --> 00:14:01,594 in his butter sculpture face. 312 00:14:01,596 --> 00:14:03,496 Ms. Earp? You have a visitor. 313 00:14:03,498 --> 00:14:05,064 Good. 314 00:14:05,066 --> 00:14:06,732 Give me a heads up next time. 315 00:14:06,734 --> 00:14:08,067 You were in the zone. 316 00:14:08,069 --> 00:14:10,289 My client has the right to a trial. 317 00:14:10,291 --> 00:14:11,904 Your sister will get one. 318 00:14:11,906 --> 00:14:13,635 That's the whole reason I brought her in, 319 00:14:13,637 --> 00:14:15,138 instead of letting the town hang her. 320 00:14:15,944 --> 00:14:18,310 I'm issuing a writ of habeas corpus. 321 00:14:18,312 --> 00:14:19,578 No! 322 00:14:19,580 --> 00:14:21,647 These dickpickles are gonna have to show us a body. 323 00:14:21,649 --> 00:14:24,250 That is literally what habeas corpus means. 324 00:14:24,252 --> 00:14:26,085 You two wanna let me know when you're done slap-fighting 325 00:14:26,087 --> 00:14:27,621 'cause I've got a hell of a backlog. 326 00:14:27,623 --> 00:14:28,924 Oh, you've got a backlog? 327 00:14:28,926 --> 00:14:31,260 Buddy, apparently I haven't pooped in 18 months. 328 00:14:31,262 --> 00:14:33,163 I have a backlog. 329 00:14:34,495 --> 00:14:36,128 Motion to strike that from the record. 330 00:14:36,130 --> 00:14:37,596 Motion denied. 331 00:14:37,598 --> 00:14:39,665 Nice of you to join us, Magistrate. 332 00:14:39,667 --> 00:14:41,969 - Mm-hmm. - Magistrate? 333 00:14:43,203 --> 00:14:45,371 The family member here would like to register 334 00:14:45,373 --> 00:14:46,939 a judicial complaint, Your Honor. 335 00:14:46,941 --> 00:14:48,041 Yeah, I don't do those. 336 00:14:48,043 --> 00:14:49,875 I just like the part where I'm all judgy. 337 00:14:49,877 --> 00:14:51,979 It's regarding the Earp case. 338 00:14:56,718 --> 00:14:57,818 That's her? 339 00:14:58,987 --> 00:15:00,486 That? 340 00:15:00,488 --> 00:15:02,121 That can hear you. 341 00:15:02,123 --> 00:15:04,557 Um, we need to manage this one carefully. 342 00:15:04,559 --> 00:15:06,792 There was an incident downtown, and... 343 00:15:06,794 --> 00:15:09,552 - people are watching. - Ooh, fun. 344 00:15:09,554 --> 00:15:12,481 Uh, can we not refer to the attempted execution 345 00:15:12,483 --> 00:15:14,034 of my client as fun? 346 00:15:14,836 --> 00:15:16,936 Can I speak with you for a moment privately? 347 00:15:16,938 --> 00:15:18,472 In my office? 348 00:15:19,674 --> 00:15:21,675 Cute outfit. 349 00:15:25,113 --> 00:15:27,279 Is this our plan? Is this our entire plan? 350 00:15:27,281 --> 00:15:28,681 No, of course not. 351 00:15:28,683 --> 00:15:30,916 Wynonna, we're gonna prove you didn't kill Nedley. 352 00:15:30,918 --> 00:15:31,919 - Yeah. - Yeah. 353 00:15:31,921 --> 00:15:33,322 Doc's all over it. 354 00:15:36,190 --> 00:15:39,158 ♪ Do you wanna go downtown ♪ 355 00:15:41,729 --> 00:15:43,562 Behave, bunnies. 356 00:15:43,564 --> 00:15:45,232 Or don't. 357 00:15:48,870 --> 00:15:50,536 What a dame. 358 00:15:50,538 --> 00:15:52,906 Do you want another Brandy Alexander? 359 00:15:53,708 --> 00:15:56,375 I wish I could offer you something different, 360 00:15:56,377 --> 00:15:59,845 but my supply trucks keep getting eaten by the woods. 361 00:15:59,847 --> 00:16:04,484 And what with this county technically dry these days... 362 00:16:08,089 --> 00:16:09,889 Doc! 363 00:16:09,891 --> 00:16:12,391 What a relief it is to see you. 364 00:16:12,393 --> 00:16:15,062 And a letdown to smell you. 365 00:16:16,297 --> 00:16:17,797 Well, careful now. 366 00:16:17,799 --> 00:16:19,565 You will make your bunnies jealous. 367 00:16:19,567 --> 00:16:21,534 They just love when I serve them up 368 00:16:21,536 --> 00:16:24,003 all that bloodsucker realness. 369 00:16:24,005 --> 00:16:26,872 Who turned you? Was it Kate? 370 00:16:26,874 --> 00:16:30,109 What? I'm not a vamp! 371 00:16:30,111 --> 00:16:31,544 Realness means faking it. 372 00:16:31,546 --> 00:16:33,379 God. Keep up! 373 00:16:33,381 --> 00:16:36,082 Wait, so you are not actually a demon? 374 00:16:36,084 --> 00:16:38,151 I just let them think that I am, 375 00:16:38,153 --> 00:16:40,186 because it's safer that way. 376 00:16:40,188 --> 00:16:43,222 What does that tell you about what this town has become? 377 00:16:43,224 --> 00:16:45,191 Please tell me everyone's okay, Doc. 378 00:16:45,193 --> 00:16:47,760 Waverly is fine. Wynonna is in jail. 379 00:16:47,762 --> 00:16:50,396 Frick. I was worried about that. 380 00:16:50,398 --> 00:16:51,965 What really happened to Nedley? 381 00:16:53,134 --> 00:16:55,267 When Wynonna left him with me, 382 00:16:55,269 --> 00:16:57,069 I tried my best to Meredith Grey 383 00:16:57,071 --> 00:16:58,771 that magnificent old bitch back to health. 384 00:16:58,773 --> 00:17:01,006 But eventually, he did a runner on me. 385 00:17:01,008 --> 00:17:02,074 Why? 386 00:17:02,076 --> 00:17:05,209 He was oozing. And he smelled. 387 00:17:05,211 --> 00:17:08,035 Like a teen boy's feet, coated in blue cheese. 388 00:17:08,037 --> 00:17:09,949 Worse than you! 389 00:17:09,951 --> 00:17:11,650 You paint quite a picture, Portia. 390 00:17:11,652 --> 00:17:13,819 I tried my best. 391 00:17:13,821 --> 00:17:15,688 But this place was getting real. 392 00:17:15,690 --> 00:17:17,990 And after a few days, he just... 393 00:17:17,992 --> 00:17:19,960 he took off into the woods. 394 00:17:20,761 --> 00:17:22,396 Where the monsters are. 395 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,134 You must come and attest to that. 396 00:17:28,136 --> 00:17:30,136 Doc, this isn't the world that you all left. 397 00:17:30,138 --> 00:17:32,271 We must produce Nedley, 398 00:17:32,273 --> 00:17:34,374 either alive or dead, we must find him. 399 00:17:35,810 --> 00:17:38,511 I can tell you where the people-eater is, 400 00:17:38,513 --> 00:17:40,246 it's out at Grizzly Flats. 401 00:17:40,248 --> 00:17:42,348 Maybe you'll find something to show them. 402 00:17:42,350 --> 00:17:44,248 Doc, they say it's claws are like if Wolverine 403 00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:45,684 impregnated a chainsaw. 404 00:17:46,854 --> 00:17:48,388 Thank you, Mercedes. 405 00:17:54,695 --> 00:17:56,662 Oh! 406 00:17:56,664 --> 00:17:58,030 Can we try a jailbreak? 407 00:17:58,032 --> 00:17:59,965 No! They've got a lot of guys working for them, 408 00:17:59,967 --> 00:18:01,400 - whatever they are. - Yeah. 409 00:18:01,402 --> 00:18:02,968 - What if they're all demons? - Exactly, 410 00:18:02,970 --> 00:18:04,970 and I don't have my... 411 00:18:04,972 --> 00:18:06,906 ... shiny thing that makes with the peace. 412 00:18:06,908 --> 00:18:08,574 - Shit. - Ahem! 413 00:18:08,576 --> 00:18:10,677 I have an announcement to make! 414 00:18:11,512 --> 00:18:13,078 So! 415 00:18:14,715 --> 00:18:17,983 You think that our jails 416 00:18:17,985 --> 00:18:20,586 are too crowded, and our courts are too slow? 417 00:18:20,588 --> 00:18:23,322 Think there's nothing to do in this lame-ass town? 418 00:18:23,324 --> 00:18:26,058 Think we need a little bit more junk in our trunks? 419 00:18:26,060 --> 00:18:28,496 - Is she asking me? - And as always, 420 00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:30,232 we aim to please, 421 00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:32,302 and we're here to fix any problem 422 00:18:32,304 --> 00:18:34,700 you guys think you might have. So... 423 00:18:34,702 --> 00:18:38,037 lock up your daughters, and lube up your saucepans! 424 00:18:38,039 --> 00:18:41,874 All of our jailbirds will be competing for one, 425 00:18:41,876 --> 00:18:44,677 yes, one, get-out-of-jail-free card. 426 00:18:44,679 --> 00:18:46,581 - In the first ever... - What? 427 00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:49,682 ... Randy Nedley Memorial Chili Cook-off 428 00:18:49,684 --> 00:18:52,506 For Freedom! Yay! 429 00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:57,618 Is... Is this real life? 430 00:18:57,620 --> 00:19:00,189 Might be for you. But I'm dead. 431 00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:12,084 Hope you're ready to stumble! 432 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:15,010 'Cause this tummy is starting to grumble! 433 00:19:15,012 --> 00:19:16,545 Woo! 434 00:19:16,547 --> 00:19:19,649 She is Grade A, USDA certifiable. 435 00:19:19,651 --> 00:19:21,066 Hey, just be glad you weren't here 436 00:19:21,068 --> 00:19:24,503 for the Tops-Off-Dance-Off For Freedom! 437 00:19:24,505 --> 00:19:25,871 Every month or so, 438 00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:28,340 the Magistrate manages to out-whackadoo herself. 439 00:19:28,342 --> 00:19:30,342 I don't get it. What's her endgame? 440 00:19:30,344 --> 00:19:33,011 Ugh, classic bread and circuses, brah. 441 00:19:33,013 --> 00:19:35,413 Keep the populace fed and entertained, 442 00:19:35,415 --> 00:19:37,827 and you can get away with all kinds of devilry. 443 00:19:37,829 --> 00:19:40,234 Yup. Okay, your trash talk is a little all over the place. 444 00:19:40,236 --> 00:19:42,503 Hey, they set people free after these contests. 445 00:19:42,505 --> 00:19:43,804 I've seen it. 446 00:19:43,806 --> 00:19:46,274 What if this is the only chance for us to get out? 447 00:19:47,843 --> 00:19:49,576 Wynonna! 448 00:19:49,578 --> 00:19:51,312 Hi. 449 00:19:51,314 --> 00:19:52,514 Haught. 450 00:19:55,518 --> 00:19:57,284 Thanks for getting her home. 451 00:19:57,286 --> 00:19:59,386 I only did it for me. 452 00:19:59,388 --> 00:20:01,489 Like everything you've ever done. 453 00:20:02,391 --> 00:20:03,992 It's been a while. 454 00:20:05,394 --> 00:20:07,828 A long while, apparently. 455 00:20:07,830 --> 00:20:09,730 - How you holding up? - Peachy. 456 00:20:09,732 --> 00:20:12,166 Hey. I brought a few things from home. 457 00:20:12,168 --> 00:20:13,567 Is that against the rules? 458 00:20:13,569 --> 00:20:14,902 Uh, I feel like the only rule 459 00:20:14,904 --> 00:20:17,338 is don't tell the Empress she's got no clothes. 460 00:20:17,340 --> 00:20:20,074 Well she's def got no panties. 461 00:20:20,076 --> 00:20:22,910 What? She jumped up on a desk. I couldn't help it. 462 00:20:22,912 --> 00:20:25,145 Is she waxed? 463 00:20:25,147 --> 00:20:26,681 - Fudge! - And that's the first toot 464 00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:30,017 of the Randy Nedley Memorial Chili Cook-off For Freedom! 465 00:20:30,019 --> 00:20:32,119 With a lot more toots to follow. 466 00:20:32,121 --> 00:20:34,621 Now get cooking, left-swipes! 467 00:20:34,623 --> 00:20:37,191 - Cook! - Do I put the cheese in first? 468 00:20:37,193 --> 00:20:39,027 - Probably, right? - Oh! 469 00:20:40,028 --> 00:20:41,128 - Okay. - Okay. 470 00:20:41,130 --> 00:20:42,196 - Yup. - Yup. 471 00:20:42,198 --> 00:20:43,698 We're on it. We're on it. 472 00:21:17,967 --> 00:21:20,434 Ohh... 473 00:21:20,436 --> 00:21:23,338 Oh, sweet honey-lamb. 474 00:21:41,457 --> 00:21:43,590 Come closer, now. 475 00:21:43,592 --> 00:21:46,427 It is time we met. 476 00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:53,133 Woo! You want a t-shirt?! 477 00:21:53,135 --> 00:21:54,201 You want a t-shirt? 478 00:21:54,203 --> 00:21:56,437 And you get a t-shirt! Oh! 479 00:21:56,439 --> 00:21:57,905 In the nads! 480 00:21:57,907 --> 00:21:59,908 Now they're also XXL! 481 00:21:59,910 --> 00:22:01,210 Probably better not to be Sheriff 482 00:22:01,212 --> 00:22:02,679 while she's got her hands on that thing. 483 00:22:02,681 --> 00:22:04,745 Imagine the lawsuits? 484 00:22:04,747 --> 00:22:07,347 I never imagined you giving up the star, 485 00:22:07,349 --> 00:22:09,116 power-hungry fiend that you are. 486 00:22:09,118 --> 00:22:11,018 I didn't give up. Cleo showed up, 487 00:22:11,020 --> 00:22:13,120 reincorporated the town, made herself magistrate, 488 00:22:13,122 --> 00:22:15,823 - and elected her own Sheriff. - So nobody stopped her? 489 00:22:15,825 --> 00:22:18,692 Who had time for politics? I had Rachel, and the homestead, 490 00:22:18,694 --> 00:22:20,695 and people to look for. 491 00:22:20,697 --> 00:22:22,331 And I did look. Hard. 492 00:22:22,333 --> 00:22:23,767 Where'd you look? Up Bunny Loblaw's... 493 00:22:23,769 --> 00:22:25,436 Don't come at me about it, okay, Wynonna? 494 00:22:25,438 --> 00:22:27,668 I know I let everybody down. 495 00:22:27,670 --> 00:22:29,303 Nicole, I would never say... 496 00:22:29,305 --> 00:22:31,705 Are you two chatting? I need those onions, stat! 497 00:22:31,707 --> 00:22:33,640 Yes, chef! Coming. 498 00:22:33,642 --> 00:22:36,309 Okay. Now, for the pressed seitan. 499 00:22:36,311 --> 00:22:38,812 What?! Who's President Satan? 500 00:22:38,814 --> 00:22:41,482 No. Seitan. As in vital wheat gluten. 501 00:22:41,484 --> 00:22:42,983 It's the secret to a hearty vegan chili. 502 00:22:42,985 --> 00:22:44,751 We're making vegan chili?! 503 00:22:44,753 --> 00:22:47,388 Baby, how's she supposed to win anything with vegan chili?! 504 00:22:49,792 --> 00:22:52,926 Not today, Satan! 505 00:22:52,928 --> 00:22:54,027 Afternoon, Ms. Haught. 506 00:22:54,029 --> 00:22:56,196 Sheriff Clayborn. 507 00:22:56,198 --> 00:22:57,798 Makes a change to see you back in town. 508 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,667 I hope that means there's no hard feelings. 509 00:23:00,669 --> 00:23:02,370 About the election. 510 00:23:02,372 --> 00:23:04,738 I didn't have as much time to campaign. 511 00:23:04,740 --> 00:23:07,207 Or your other rumored advantages. 512 00:23:07,209 --> 00:23:09,710 Nice you can afford a break now, though. 513 00:23:09,712 --> 00:23:10,945 I mean, that is, 514 00:23:10,947 --> 00:23:12,967 if you feel the homestead is safe with a... 515 00:23:12,969 --> 00:23:14,770 teenage girl on the case. 516 00:23:16,185 --> 00:23:17,986 Good luck with the chili. 517 00:23:25,928 --> 00:23:28,028 Aw, you have your little worry wrinkle. 518 00:23:28,030 --> 00:23:30,664 There are things, Waverly. Every night, in those traps. 519 00:23:30,666 --> 00:23:32,866 The monster really wants inside. 520 00:23:32,868 --> 00:23:34,402 You're worried about Rachel. 521 00:23:35,671 --> 00:23:37,404 Why don't you go home? 522 00:23:37,406 --> 00:23:38,872 You sure you don't mind? 523 00:23:38,874 --> 00:23:40,174 No. 524 00:23:49,051 --> 00:23:51,084 I'll give you 20 bucks for half your bacon. 525 00:23:51,086 --> 00:23:53,921 You don't have 20 bucks. 526 00:23:53,923 --> 00:23:55,557 Wynonna! 527 00:23:59,228 --> 00:24:00,995 For Randy Nedley. 528 00:24:20,049 --> 00:24:21,815 Rachel?! 529 00:24:21,817 --> 00:24:25,052 - Valdez?! - Nicole! I'm okay! 530 00:24:25,054 --> 00:24:27,087 Okay. You're okay? 531 00:24:27,089 --> 00:24:28,789 Don't make it more painful by mommying me. 532 00:24:28,791 --> 00:24:30,223 What happened? 533 00:24:30,225 --> 00:24:32,125 I'm out re-baiting trap seven, by the poplars, 534 00:24:32,127 --> 00:24:35,062 and you scared away the skunks earlier, so I used kombucha. 535 00:24:35,064 --> 00:24:36,797 What? It kills all kinds of things, 536 00:24:36,799 --> 00:24:39,032 you know, like intestinal parasites, and... 537 00:24:39,034 --> 00:24:40,434 Ow, ow! 538 00:24:40,436 --> 00:24:42,202 So I'm filling up the trap, 539 00:24:42,204 --> 00:24:44,571 and it runs in, you know, the big, crusty one. 540 00:24:44,573 --> 00:24:47,140 But then, you know that old-timey cowboy dude? 541 00:24:47,142 --> 00:24:48,375 Daddy Blue Eyes? 542 00:24:48,377 --> 00:24:49,811 - Doc. - Yeah! 543 00:24:49,813 --> 00:24:51,447 He's on the hill, and he's yelling at it 544 00:24:51,449 --> 00:24:52,883 to come get him instead. 545 00:24:52,885 --> 00:24:55,282 - Did he kill it? - No, but he shot it. 546 00:24:55,284 --> 00:24:57,755 Okay. You are coming inside. 547 00:24:57,757 --> 00:24:59,620 And that is my mommy voice. 548 00:25:02,257 --> 00:25:03,890 Oh, my God. It's edible. Try it! 549 00:25:03,892 --> 00:25:05,726 You threw stolen beef and a can of anchovies 550 00:25:05,728 --> 00:25:07,594 into my vegan masterpiece! 551 00:25:07,596 --> 00:25:08,829 Ahh! 552 00:25:08,831 --> 00:25:10,263 Damn. 553 00:25:10,265 --> 00:25:12,432 I'm gonna shove that thing up her canned anchovies. 554 00:25:12,434 --> 00:25:15,202 Criminal, take it. 555 00:25:15,204 --> 00:25:16,638 And this. 556 00:25:17,606 --> 00:25:19,439 Criminal chiliheads! 557 00:25:19,441 --> 00:25:22,843 As you all know, I excel at having opinions. 558 00:25:22,845 --> 00:25:24,811 And I was going to decide today's winner 559 00:25:24,813 --> 00:25:26,279 all by my lonesome, 560 00:25:26,281 --> 00:25:27,848 but a little voice in my head was like, 561 00:25:27,850 --> 00:25:30,117 don't be such a greedy skank's toilet, Cleo! 562 00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:31,318 - Cleo? - Toilet? 563 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:34,221 So I asked the second... 564 00:25:34,223 --> 00:25:36,490 prettiest girl in all of Purgatory 565 00:25:36,492 --> 00:25:37,659 to come help me out. 566 00:25:37,661 --> 00:25:41,028 So slap your bits together for your Miss Kidney Bean: 567 00:25:41,030 --> 00:25:42,829 Chrissy Nedley! 568 00:25:50,839 --> 00:25:53,607 Oh... You weren't kidding. 569 00:25:53,609 --> 00:25:56,610 She really does think you killed her dad. 570 00:25:56,612 --> 00:25:59,446 Yeah, I don't think you're gonna win. 571 00:25:59,448 --> 00:26:01,928 I'm gonna turn out the lights in case it's attracted to them. 572 00:26:05,220 --> 00:26:06,853 It's here. 573 00:26:09,692 --> 00:26:12,392 Nicole! Let me in! Let me in! 574 00:26:12,394 --> 00:26:15,228 It's Dr. Mustache, we have to save him! 575 00:26:15,230 --> 00:26:17,031 I'm going out front! 576 00:26:18,067 --> 00:26:19,900 It's gonna break the glass! 577 00:26:19,902 --> 00:26:21,068 Open up! 578 00:26:21,070 --> 00:26:22,903 Nicole, you have to let him in! 579 00:26:22,905 --> 00:26:24,671 Nicole! 580 00:26:24,673 --> 00:26:27,042 Nicole! 581 00:26:28,572 --> 00:26:30,072 Wake up! 582 00:26:32,216 --> 00:26:34,584 Please! 583 00:26:36,633 --> 00:26:38,200 That felt like it took forever. 584 00:26:38,202 --> 00:26:40,303 - Yeah, I bet. - Move! 585 00:26:49,980 --> 00:26:52,914 You carried a bottle the whole time you were running? 586 00:26:52,916 --> 00:26:54,884 - You are goals. - No, he is not goals, 587 00:26:54,886 --> 00:26:57,287 - he needs water. - Or maybe he needs... 588 00:26:57,289 --> 00:26:59,290 Don't say kombucha. 589 00:26:59,292 --> 00:27:01,189 Thanks for distracting the crusty booger beast. 590 00:27:01,191 --> 00:27:03,491 - Right, Haught? - Yeah. Thanks, Doc. 591 00:27:03,493 --> 00:27:05,427 Do not let me set here for more than ten minutes. 592 00:27:05,429 --> 00:27:07,462 I am fixing to return to the woods. 593 00:27:07,464 --> 00:27:09,030 - For what? - To complete the job. 594 00:27:09,032 --> 00:27:11,800 - That is a host animal. - For the little puffballs! 595 00:27:11,802 --> 00:27:13,635 I saw it leaking from the wound. 596 00:27:13,637 --> 00:27:16,137 I believe it has slowed a little. 597 00:27:16,139 --> 00:27:17,940 Then it's time we strike back. 598 00:27:19,243 --> 00:27:21,743 It might be okay. 599 00:27:21,745 --> 00:27:23,378 - I'll never get used to that. - So... 600 00:27:23,380 --> 00:27:25,581 Clearly some of you didn't want it bad enough. 601 00:27:25,583 --> 00:27:27,017 Seriously, four of those chilis 602 00:27:27,019 --> 00:27:28,697 was just hot diarrhea with beans. 603 00:27:28,699 --> 00:27:30,165 - Certainly mine. - Ew. 604 00:27:30,167 --> 00:27:32,568 So, thank you for attending 605 00:27:32,570 --> 00:27:35,337 the first Randy Nedley Memorial Chili Cook-off. 606 00:27:35,339 --> 00:27:36,973 If you leave off the "For Freedom", so help me, 607 00:27:36,975 --> 00:27:39,274 I will treat you to an actual bowl of hot diarrhea. 608 00:27:39,276 --> 00:27:40,909 For Freedom! 609 00:27:40,911 --> 00:27:43,912 My father had a complicated relationship with this cook-off. 610 00:27:43,914 --> 00:27:46,176 If he were here today, he would say... 611 00:27:46,178 --> 00:27:48,251 God, no one cares, Pissy, who won?! 612 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:51,820 And today's winner of our get out-of-jail-free card 613 00:27:51,822 --> 00:27:53,055 goes to... 614 00:27:53,057 --> 00:27:54,590 Please, please, please, please. 615 00:27:54,592 --> 00:27:56,859 Wynonna Earp! 616 00:27:56,861 --> 00:27:58,928 What? 617 00:28:04,368 --> 00:28:08,070 Winner, winner, chili dinner! I win! 618 00:28:08,072 --> 00:28:10,173 - Glad it was you, Cell-y! - Listen, you can have the rest 619 00:28:10,175 --> 00:28:11,876 - of my chili if you want. - Ah, I'm good. 620 00:28:13,210 --> 00:28:14,910 What? 621 00:28:14,912 --> 00:28:16,012 Ah... 622 00:28:17,414 --> 00:28:19,648 - No way, right? - Okay! 623 00:28:19,650 --> 00:28:21,483 Bye! 624 00:28:21,485 --> 00:28:24,720 Pound it. No? No? 625 00:28:24,722 --> 00:28:27,623 It tastes like peppermint butt. 626 00:28:27,625 --> 00:28:28,957 - Hey, hey! - So why? 627 00:28:28,959 --> 00:28:31,161 Unhand your Chili Queen! 628 00:28:32,997 --> 00:28:34,764 That's why. 629 00:28:36,167 --> 00:28:39,067 Where are those keys? 630 00:28:39,069 --> 00:28:40,831 To my new car? 631 00:28:40,833 --> 00:28:42,905 Wow, this contest has everything! 632 00:28:42,907 --> 00:28:45,574 Holt, or Sheriff Clayborn, 633 00:28:45,576 --> 00:28:47,442 doesn't like it when I drive department vehicles, 634 00:28:47,444 --> 00:28:49,711 but he can have a big old gag of my gavel. 635 00:28:49,713 --> 00:28:52,147 Did you forget the "freedom" part? 636 00:28:52,149 --> 00:28:53,916 Yeah, not 'til you get to the border. 637 00:28:53,918 --> 00:28:55,003 I'm not leaving town. 638 00:28:55,005 --> 00:28:56,581 Don't worry, I can get you out. I know people. 639 00:28:56,583 --> 00:28:58,153 No, I mean, I won't. 640 00:28:58,155 --> 00:28:59,788 Do you know how many Purgatorians 641 00:28:59,790 --> 00:29:01,824 would have murdered for this prize? 642 00:29:01,826 --> 00:29:03,992 Oh, weird... 643 00:29:03,994 --> 00:29:06,095 I just realized that that's exactly what you did! 644 00:29:08,799 --> 00:29:10,833 You acted like you knew who I was. 645 00:29:10,835 --> 00:29:12,601 When we first met. 646 00:29:12,603 --> 00:29:13,937 But you're not a Revenant. 647 00:29:15,306 --> 00:29:17,841 And if you were really powerful, you'd just kill me. 648 00:29:20,978 --> 00:29:22,345 Yay! 649 00:29:23,147 --> 00:29:24,414 Keys! 650 00:29:24,416 --> 00:29:25,883 I wish I knew what we were up against, 651 00:29:25,885 --> 00:29:28,183 so we could prep a silver bullet or a wooden stake. 652 00:29:28,185 --> 00:29:30,219 - Sorry, Doc. - Understood. 653 00:29:30,221 --> 00:29:32,187 Okay, don't yell at me, but... 654 00:29:32,189 --> 00:29:34,556 the creature did make a Chewbacca howl 655 00:29:34,558 --> 00:29:36,091 when it stepped in the puddle of kombucha. 656 00:29:36,093 --> 00:29:37,993 For the last time, home brewed mold juice 657 00:29:37,995 --> 00:29:39,396 will not defeat pure evil. 658 00:29:39,398 --> 00:29:41,196 It smelled like pure evil. 659 00:29:41,198 --> 00:29:44,366 When it was leaking? Like blue cheese and boy feet. 660 00:29:44,368 --> 00:29:46,468 Did you hear someone say that? 661 00:29:46,470 --> 00:29:49,004 It dealt it. I simply smelt it. 662 00:29:49,006 --> 00:29:51,807 Look, I am not suggesting we refrain from hunting it... 663 00:29:51,809 --> 00:29:52,943 Like hell I would. 664 00:29:52,945 --> 00:29:55,344 ... but I looked into its eyes and I'm remain unconvinced 665 00:29:55,346 --> 00:29:56,778 it is our enemy. 666 00:29:56,780 --> 00:29:58,768 This thing wants to take Waverly's home, 667 00:29:58,770 --> 00:30:01,650 and our ability to think of anything else. 668 00:30:01,652 --> 00:30:03,285 I found this in the trap, 669 00:30:03,287 --> 00:30:04,786 last year when you guys were... 670 00:30:04,788 --> 00:30:06,122 Gone for too long. 671 00:30:07,324 --> 00:30:08,792 At first I thought it was irrelevant, 672 00:30:08,794 --> 00:30:10,859 but then I figured it out. 673 00:30:10,861 --> 00:30:12,561 It's a Hawaiian shirt, Doc. 674 00:30:12,563 --> 00:30:14,898 It's... It's Nedley's shirt. 675 00:30:16,333 --> 00:30:17,966 That thing killed him, 676 00:30:17,968 --> 00:30:19,936 and now we need to kill it. 677 00:30:20,771 --> 00:30:22,871 The ballpuffers are parasites, 678 00:30:22,873 --> 00:30:25,040 and they took over something. 679 00:30:25,042 --> 00:30:26,876 Someone. 680 00:30:27,745 --> 00:30:31,179 Someone that always comes back to you, Nicole. 681 00:30:31,181 --> 00:30:32,414 No. 682 00:30:32,416 --> 00:30:35,083 What if the ogre didn't eat Nedley? 683 00:30:35,085 --> 00:30:37,519 - What if the ogre... - ... is Nedley? 684 00:30:41,625 --> 00:30:43,458 People will find out... 685 00:30:43,460 --> 00:30:46,795 about the contest, about you not keeping your word. 686 00:30:46,797 --> 00:30:49,299 One, how are they gonna find out? 687 00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:53,435 And two, what does an Earp know about keeping their word, huh? 688 00:30:53,437 --> 00:30:55,370 That is priceless. 689 00:30:55,372 --> 00:30:56,838 You are hilare. 690 00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:58,274 So this is personal. 691 00:31:07,451 --> 00:31:09,017 No. 692 00:31:09,019 --> 00:31:10,452 See this... 693 00:31:10,454 --> 00:31:13,857 This is hereditary, daughter of Earps. 694 00:31:17,127 --> 00:31:19,361 Besides, we have to keep 695 00:31:19,363 --> 00:31:21,630 feeding something to this monster, 696 00:31:21,632 --> 00:31:24,299 whatever it is, to keep it out of town. 697 00:31:24,301 --> 00:31:25,934 See, Sheriff Holt and I? 698 00:31:25,936 --> 00:31:27,970 We know what it takes 699 00:31:27,972 --> 00:31:30,839 to get dirty jobs done. 700 00:31:30,841 --> 00:31:33,042 And if that dirty job... 701 00:31:34,778 --> 00:31:36,846 happens to be you? 702 00:31:38,182 --> 00:31:39,982 Bonus. 703 00:31:39,984 --> 00:31:42,118 - Now scream. - Argh! 704 00:31:43,187 --> 00:31:45,153 Eat my vegan seitan. 705 00:31:45,155 --> 00:31:47,489 See, they lied. 706 00:31:47,491 --> 00:31:48,858 You're not even fun. 707 00:31:53,430 --> 00:31:55,330 Beastie boy! 708 00:31:55,332 --> 00:31:57,333 Come and get it! 709 00:32:00,904 --> 00:32:02,137 Where are you going? 710 00:32:02,139 --> 00:32:04,239 Oh, to sit in my car. 711 00:32:04,241 --> 00:32:06,008 Take a few pics! 712 00:32:06,010 --> 00:32:09,111 Maybe buff my muff, if the mood strikes. 713 00:32:09,113 --> 00:32:10,513 You are so weird. 714 00:32:13,784 --> 00:32:15,317 Previews are over. 715 00:32:15,319 --> 00:32:17,152 Looks like the creature feature is starting. 716 00:32:17,154 --> 00:32:18,954 Get away from her, skank toilet! 717 00:32:18,956 --> 00:32:20,023 Ahh! 718 00:32:20,025 --> 00:32:21,923 For the record, I don't believe in skank shaming, 719 00:32:21,925 --> 00:32:23,159 but you said it first. 720 00:32:25,662 --> 00:32:27,562 Sis, you okay? 721 00:32:27,564 --> 00:32:29,164 We need a knife or scissors. 722 00:32:29,166 --> 00:32:31,800 I have... teeth? 723 00:32:31,802 --> 00:32:33,703 Ugh! She's got a weapon! 724 00:32:34,638 --> 00:32:36,405 Friggin' skanks always do. 725 00:32:36,407 --> 00:32:38,073 Wait, I gotta stop saying that. 726 00:32:38,075 --> 00:32:39,909 Okay, stay there! 727 00:32:45,049 --> 00:32:47,482 No, no, no! 728 00:33:01,198 --> 00:33:02,598 Waverly! 729 00:33:04,668 --> 00:33:06,169 Waverly! 730 00:33:07,337 --> 00:33:09,105 - Hold your fire! - It's Nedley! 731 00:33:12,009 --> 00:33:13,408 Doc, flank him on the back! 732 00:33:13,410 --> 00:33:15,578 Waverly, find your position! 733 00:34:10,968 --> 00:34:12,567 Idiots. 734 00:34:27,951 --> 00:34:29,252 Wynonna? 735 00:34:30,087 --> 00:34:31,353 What did I do? 736 00:34:31,355 --> 00:34:33,588 You survived, Nedley. 737 00:34:33,590 --> 00:34:34,823 That's what you did. 738 00:34:34,825 --> 00:34:36,392 You made it home. 739 00:34:39,364 --> 00:34:40,464 Fuck yeah. 740 00:34:46,534 --> 00:34:49,237 Nedley, I'm not coming any closer 741 00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:50,439 until you put this on. 742 00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,099 There's been enough crime today. 743 00:34:55,936 --> 00:34:57,370 Hey. 744 00:34:59,823 --> 00:35:02,624 - Nicole, what's going on? - I... 745 00:35:02,626 --> 00:35:05,061 You were not in possession of your own faculties. 746 00:35:07,631 --> 00:35:09,297 Why do I taste skunk? 747 00:35:09,299 --> 00:35:10,800 That may be me. 748 00:35:12,402 --> 00:35:14,570 That's some intense, brother. 749 00:35:31,010 --> 00:35:32,143 - Dad. - Chrissy! 750 00:35:32,145 --> 00:35:33,979 Oh, my God. Dad! 751 00:35:34,881 --> 00:35:37,916 Shh, shh. 752 00:35:41,888 --> 00:35:43,622 They told me you were dead. 753 00:35:44,457 --> 00:35:47,693 This stubborn mule? Not yet. 754 00:35:49,162 --> 00:35:51,962 Where were you? What happened? 755 00:35:51,964 --> 00:35:53,297 I really don't remember. 756 00:35:53,299 --> 00:35:56,434 - Ah, might be for the best. - Might be? 757 00:35:56,436 --> 00:35:58,817 Look, um, we think he'll be fine. 758 00:35:58,819 --> 00:36:01,588 But just for fun, maybe keep him away from small game. 759 00:36:04,911 --> 00:36:07,078 Wynonna. I don't even know what to say. 760 00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:08,280 I know. 761 00:36:09,082 --> 00:36:11,282 It's just, since the evacuation, I... 762 00:36:11,284 --> 00:36:13,919 this place... it got to me and I... 763 00:36:13,921 --> 00:36:16,255 Needed us and got hurt when we weren't here? 764 00:36:18,291 --> 00:36:20,659 - Yeah. - It won't happen again. 765 00:36:23,763 --> 00:36:25,197 Hey, you. 766 00:36:29,135 --> 00:36:31,002 It's good to have you back. 767 00:36:40,980 --> 00:36:41,980 Nicole. 768 00:36:43,683 --> 00:36:45,116 You should get Chrissy out of here. 769 00:36:45,118 --> 00:36:46,651 While you still can. 770 00:36:58,297 --> 00:37:00,164 You did the chili cook-off without me? 771 00:37:00,166 --> 00:37:03,401 Dad... 772 00:37:08,608 --> 00:37:11,643 Here I thought all my flirting was getting me nowhere. 773 00:37:12,545 --> 00:37:14,645 There is more where that came from. 774 00:37:14,647 --> 00:37:18,382 That would get my slacks off in a snap. 775 00:37:18,384 --> 00:37:20,818 'Cause that would be a challenge. 776 00:37:20,820 --> 00:37:23,220 I paid for that truck, and its contents, 777 00:37:23,222 --> 00:37:24,655 and I'll be french-fried 778 00:37:24,657 --> 00:37:27,057 if you're going to sell my own property back to me. 779 00:37:27,059 --> 00:37:30,443 Except I know where it is and you do not. 780 00:37:30,445 --> 00:37:32,696 But I suppose I could sell said contents 781 00:37:32,698 --> 00:37:34,365 to the human bar in town... 782 00:37:34,367 --> 00:37:36,868 Let's not get off on the wrong foot. 783 00:37:38,237 --> 00:37:40,738 I also suggest that you acquire 784 00:37:40,740 --> 00:37:43,908 protection for your next order and that would be, 785 00:37:43,910 --> 00:37:45,943 well, yours truly. 786 00:37:45,945 --> 00:37:48,279 An experienced hand with local knowledge, 787 00:37:48,281 --> 00:37:52,917 who can then safely convey said truck right to your... 788 00:37:52,919 --> 00:37:54,619 back door. 789 00:37:55,555 --> 00:37:57,789 What would you require in return? 790 00:37:58,925 --> 00:38:02,060 Something to quench that vampiric appetite? 791 00:38:02,929 --> 00:38:04,895 When was the last time you fed? 792 00:38:04,897 --> 00:38:06,964 My hunger... 793 00:38:06,966 --> 00:38:08,432 is none of your concern. 794 00:38:08,434 --> 00:38:11,936 What I require is something more... tangible. 795 00:38:11,938 --> 00:38:13,605 A future favor. 796 00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:16,674 And two thousand a load. 797 00:38:16,676 --> 00:38:19,176 That's highway robbery. 798 00:38:19,178 --> 00:38:21,345 Precisely. And at a reasonable cost. 799 00:38:21,347 --> 00:38:24,915 But I assure you, I am the best. 800 00:38:24,917 --> 00:38:26,384 Mm-hmm... 801 00:38:34,894 --> 00:38:36,393 You smell like heaven. 802 00:38:36,395 --> 00:38:37,762 I know. 803 00:38:46,639 --> 00:38:51,543 ♪ If you could love me completely ♪ 804 00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:58,650 ♪ If you could show me a sign ♪ 805 00:39:01,754 --> 00:39:05,289 Having trouble remembering where you like these lips. 806 00:39:05,291 --> 00:39:07,526 You seem to be figuring it out. 807 00:39:09,413 --> 00:39:12,081 You know, the garden tried to fool me. 808 00:39:12,999 --> 00:39:15,099 With a fake you. 809 00:39:15,101 --> 00:39:16,734 You didn't... 810 00:39:16,736 --> 00:39:19,503 No. Not even close. 811 00:39:19,505 --> 00:39:21,973 But I would've known in a second. 812 00:39:23,109 --> 00:39:24,843 I know every curve... 813 00:39:26,679 --> 00:39:28,480 every sigh... 814 00:39:29,582 --> 00:39:31,483 every taste... 815 00:39:36,355 --> 00:39:40,090 Wynonna, her midnight snack, and the pantry door. 816 00:39:40,092 --> 00:39:42,527 She never met a thing she couldn't slam. 817 00:39:44,397 --> 00:39:46,598 Yeah. I guess I'd forgotten. 818 00:39:47,967 --> 00:39:49,867 I love you, Nicole Haught. 819 00:39:49,869 --> 00:39:53,071 And I can't wait for the rest of our lives to unfold. 820 00:39:58,416 --> 00:40:00,517 Can you tell me about your year and a half? 821 00:40:02,515 --> 00:40:05,249 I'm sorry, I'm just... distracted. 822 00:40:05,251 --> 00:40:06,984 I gotta go check those traps. 823 00:40:06,986 --> 00:40:08,352 Oh. 824 00:40:08,354 --> 00:40:10,888 Yeah. Okay. Uh... 825 00:40:10,890 --> 00:40:12,457 Can I come with you? 826 00:40:13,793 --> 00:40:15,326 Always. 827 00:40:28,174 --> 00:40:31,475 - Expected date of return? - Never. 828 00:40:31,477 --> 00:40:34,211 My Dad's birthday is in August. Might surprise him. 829 00:40:34,213 --> 00:40:36,047 I have to get my supervisor. 830 00:40:46,926 --> 00:40:48,593 You're cleared to go. 831 00:40:51,097 --> 00:40:52,831 They're back. 832 00:41:07,521 --> 00:41:11,101 I'll move out to the barn, now that everyone's back. 833 00:41:11,103 --> 00:41:13,570 - Which is good. - Take the bed. 834 00:41:13,572 --> 00:41:15,339 You've earned it, kid. 835 00:41:15,341 --> 00:41:16,841 Besides... 836 00:41:18,077 --> 00:41:19,911 I'm better in the cold. 837 00:41:21,180 --> 00:41:24,047 Okay, Jon Snow in a B cup. 838 00:41:24,049 --> 00:41:25,984 And I'm not a kid, Wynonna. 839 00:41:28,587 --> 00:41:30,455 Why'd you leave Monument? 840 00:41:31,557 --> 00:41:34,216 When you're a person who's gone through some stuff, 841 00:41:34,218 --> 00:41:36,620 and you see somebody else, who's a good person, 842 00:41:36,622 --> 00:41:38,256 also going through some stuff... 843 00:41:39,531 --> 00:41:40,999 How bad is Nicole? 844 00:41:42,344 --> 00:41:45,446 She was alone for a really long time. 845 00:41:48,379 --> 00:41:50,314 Well, thanks for taking care of my friend, 846 00:41:50,316 --> 00:41:52,399 Rachel Valdez. 847 00:41:52,401 --> 00:41:55,336 Thank you for noticing, Wynonna Earp. 848 00:41:55,338 --> 00:41:57,272 Oh, the Earp heir. 849 00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,200 Listen. My bed, yeah. 850 00:42:06,202 --> 00:42:08,402 My leather pants, no. 851 00:42:08,404 --> 00:42:10,071 Pfft, please. 852 00:42:10,073 --> 00:42:12,553 I wouldn't be seen wearing these in front of the skunks I milk. 853 00:42:15,011 --> 00:42:17,279 Your fringed leather jacket, though... 854 00:42:18,900 --> 00:42:21,101 Don't push your luck, Smalldez. 855 00:42:22,385 --> 00:42:24,686 - Good night. - Good night, Wynonna. 856 00:42:32,862 --> 00:42:35,763 - Hello, chaps! - Hands up. 857 00:42:35,765 --> 00:42:38,433 Like I said: so good to be home. 858 00:42:59,327 --> 00:43:02,327 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 858 00:43:03,305 --> 00:44:03,886 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 59823

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.