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Previously
on "Wynonna Earp"...
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I am a fully grown half-angel.
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00:00:03,909 --> 00:00:06,276
- I am the guardian.
- I'm sworn to protect Waverly!
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00:00:06,278 --> 00:00:08,547
They're working on some
inter-dimensional gateway.
5
00:00:08,549 --> 00:00:10,664
It's the 2005 chili cook-off
all over again.
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I'm gonna be waiting for you
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back in Purgatory.
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Ahh!
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I'm here, and we gotta
get back there! Ahh!
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No...
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00:00:19,942 --> 00:00:21,042
Waverly.
12
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- The town...
- You've been gone 18 months,
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00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,580
three weeks, and four days.
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00:00:26,582 --> 00:00:27,981
All of you have.
15
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Someone has been handing
out hemp neckties.
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That's a clear fashion don't.
17
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Who the hell? And why?
18
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Frontier justice.
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Retribution must not only be paid,
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it must be seen to be paid.
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00:00:45,935 --> 00:00:48,569
The old-timey version of
"pics or it didn't happen".
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00:00:49,538 --> 00:00:51,204
Something here is pretty off.
23
00:00:51,206 --> 00:00:52,606
Shorty's.
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We think better with a
little fire in our bellies.
25
00:01:01,082 --> 00:01:03,450
Uh, Nedley and I were here,
26
00:01:03,452 --> 00:01:05,686
after you followed
Waverly up the stairs.
27
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We drank your tequila,
28
00:01:07,523 --> 00:01:09,623
uh, but we did not macramé.
29
00:01:09,625 --> 00:01:12,392
So unless this is just
a surprise makeover
30
00:01:12,394 --> 00:01:14,461
by The Property Brothers...
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00:01:14,463 --> 00:01:16,997
On occasion, I will put it on
32
00:01:16,999 --> 00:01:19,600
in the middle of the afternoon,
if I have cleaning to do.
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What is this menu?
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"Gunfight At The Okra Corral".
35
00:01:25,441 --> 00:01:27,307
What the hell is a Cock Holliday?
36
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It says it is chicken bone broth.
37
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- Is that not simply soup?
- Wynonna?
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Chrissy Nedley.
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Are you a sight for sore livers.
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- How dare you?!
- Hey, whoa!
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What the fig, Chrissy?!
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- Wynonna.
- Ahh!
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Let her go.
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Alright, say your piece, Chrissy.
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00:01:54,136 --> 00:01:55,669
Say your piece, Chrissy,
just say your piece.
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If you wanna chat, I can
chat. I'm a good listener.
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Wynonna Earp, I am placing
you under citizen's arrest.
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For the murder of my father.
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00:02:02,945 --> 00:02:05,078
Randall Nedley.
50
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It's just so good to be home.
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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
53
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I would never hurt Nedley!
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As if we'd take the word of an Earp!
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Your dad did. He trusted me!
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- Unhand her at once!
- Nedley can't be dead.
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We demand proof.
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He was last seen with Wynonna.
59
00:02:44,176 --> 00:02:46,152
And that's when she disappeared
for a year and a half!
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00:02:46,154 --> 00:02:49,089
- What a coincidence!
- Your dad was helping me!
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He was hurt,
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but I left him safe with Mercedes!
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00:02:52,094 --> 00:02:53,527
Wait. When did you say?
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We were gone mere days. You lie.
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No, no!
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We've been waiting too long.
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No!
68
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Doc!
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Wynonna!
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Put the rope down and
back away from the woman.
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Sheriff.
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That's not the sheriff. Where's Nicole?
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Miss Chrissy,
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your dad lived his life for the law.
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What would he think
of your behavior now?
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00:03:24,927 --> 00:03:26,528
- You didn't know him.
- No.
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00:03:26,530 --> 00:03:28,972
But I do know this is
not the way we do things
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00:03:28,974 --> 00:03:30,630
in Purgatory.
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00:03:30,632 --> 00:03:32,600
We want justice!
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Thank you.
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00:03:36,605 --> 00:03:37,871
Yeah, this isn't right!
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Just like the criminal vermin
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we hung last Monday,
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Miss Earp shall have a trial first.
85
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Get Waverly! Get Nicole!
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I shall get everyone.
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- Sup?
- Whoa!
88
00:04:01,130 --> 00:04:03,730
Valdez. Rachel Valdez.
89
00:04:03,732 --> 00:04:04,898
Hi.
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00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:06,934
- I'm, uh...
- Cold?
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00:04:08,971 --> 00:04:10,904
Yeah. Frozen.
92
00:04:10,906 --> 00:04:12,340
I mean, I'm practically Elsa!
93
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- I had no idea you were...
- Kombucha?
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00:04:16,979 --> 00:04:18,411
Pardon?
95
00:04:18,413 --> 00:04:20,580
I make it myself. And after last night,
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I bet you need some hydration.
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Mmm.
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Microbes.
99
00:04:27,489 --> 00:04:29,656
So, you're staying here?
100
00:04:31,493 --> 00:04:33,193
Batman in the microwave!
101
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What? What is that?
102
00:04:35,330 --> 00:04:37,298
- There's something in the trap.
- Which one?
103
00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:40,066
- Behind the barn.
- What are we trapping?
104
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Monsters.
105
00:04:43,505 --> 00:04:44,604
Huh.
106
00:04:52,781 --> 00:04:54,514
There's ten traps on the homestead.
107
00:04:54,516 --> 00:04:56,783
We gotta do a full circuit
check every two hours.
108
00:04:56,785 --> 00:04:58,552
I thought the curse was broken.
109
00:04:58,554 --> 00:05:00,020
Traps aren't for Revenants.
110
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There's all sorts of
things in the woods now.
111
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And one of them,
112
00:05:03,093 --> 00:05:05,625
this big ugly troll, wants in here bad.
113
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Oh, tarnation!
114
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Thank you for the
exceptionally tight welcome.
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Rachel, Doc, Doc, Rachel.
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Sup?
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Don't move.
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I am rather determined not to.
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Ohh!
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It is good to see you, Sheriff Haught.
121
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Yeah, well, these days,
it's just Nicole, or...
122
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"that crazy ginger bitch".
123
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God, it's...
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I'm so, so glad you made it, Henry.
125
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Ugh!
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00:05:39,194 --> 00:05:41,061
You smell aggressively bad.
127
00:05:41,063 --> 00:05:43,330
Yeah, we use skunk
juice to bait the traps.
128
00:05:43,332 --> 00:05:45,031
Wynonna isn't marinating in skunk juice
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in one of these, is she?
130
00:05:46,235 --> 00:05:48,401
- Wynonna is in jail.
- What?
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They have framed her.
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For the murder of Randy Nedley.
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Who are you?
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You can call me the Sheriff.
135
00:05:56,678 --> 00:05:58,745
Okay, then you can call me an Uber.
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00:05:58,747 --> 00:06:01,915
Ooh! Uh...
137
00:06:01,917 --> 00:06:04,250
Back away from the glass, 6-1-3-3.
138
00:06:04,252 --> 00:06:05,285
Dude...
139
00:06:05,287 --> 00:06:06,988
There's a guy in there,
I'm not going in there.
140
00:06:06,990 --> 00:06:08,688
Yeah, main cell's chock-a-block.
141
00:06:08,690 --> 00:06:11,559
But believe you me, he's
far from the worst of 'em.
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00:06:13,528 --> 00:06:14,828
Uh...
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00:06:14,830 --> 00:06:17,098
Assless chap? I want my phone call!
144
00:06:18,033 --> 00:06:21,167
- I want my phone call!
- Sorry I can't hear you.
145
00:06:21,169 --> 00:06:22,903
I demand a phone call!
146
00:06:25,774 --> 00:06:29,376
- Who are you?
- Casey. You?
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00:06:29,378 --> 00:06:31,378
Local nogoodnik, Wynonna Earp.
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Ahh!
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00:06:33,649 --> 00:06:35,048
I thought I'd be safe in here!
150
00:06:35,050 --> 00:06:36,616
Wow. Didn't even have
to steal your pudding cup
151
00:06:36,618 --> 00:06:38,218
to establish who's boss. Nice.
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00:06:38,220 --> 00:06:41,522
From demons and famous demon hunters.
153
00:06:44,192 --> 00:06:46,225
Back up one sec.
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00:06:46,227 --> 00:06:49,329
Pretend I haven't been here
for, say, a year and a half,
155
00:06:49,331 --> 00:06:50,864
and just explain to me.
156
00:06:50,866 --> 00:06:52,265
Uh, since the town was evacuated
157
00:06:52,267 --> 00:06:54,701
- for the forest fires?
- Say I remember that.
158
00:06:54,703 --> 00:06:56,870
Oh, well, the townspeople left,
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00:06:56,872 --> 00:06:58,104
but demons came.
160
00:06:58,106 --> 00:06:59,873
You know when there's,
like, a bush party?
161
00:06:59,875 --> 00:07:01,608
And nobody knows who started it,
162
00:07:01,610 --> 00:07:03,677
but everybody hears about it somehow?
163
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They all just started showing up.
164
00:07:05,147 --> 00:07:06,680
Everybody shows up for bush.
165
00:07:06,682 --> 00:07:09,015
Yeah, the townspeople were
allowed to come back home,
166
00:07:09,017 --> 00:07:11,184
and there was, like,
an ongoing demon rager,
167
00:07:11,186 --> 00:07:13,219
centered around the woods.
168
00:07:13,221 --> 00:07:15,622
- The stairs.
- I'm not, I'm not staring!
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00:07:15,624 --> 00:07:17,257
Also I'm only a half-demon!
170
00:07:17,259 --> 00:07:18,391
So, you know, please don't shoot!
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Casey, don't be a weenie.
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I don't even have my gun anymore.
173
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In here...
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00:07:23,498 --> 00:07:25,138
Obviously the Sheriff
would have taken it.
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00:07:25,901 --> 00:07:27,767
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
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00:07:28,870 --> 00:07:31,538
So the woods are full of monsters.
177
00:07:31,540 --> 00:07:33,173
Crawling with 'em.
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00:07:33,175 --> 00:07:35,975
These days, the only place
scarier than in here...
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00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:37,644
is out there.
180
00:08:01,041 --> 00:08:04,409
I have a half-knitted scarf I
was making him for Christmas.
181
00:08:04,411 --> 00:08:06,311
His waders are still in the barn.
182
00:08:06,313 --> 00:08:07,347
Yeah. I know, Waves.
183
00:08:07,349 --> 00:08:09,890
It's tough to think of a world
without Randy Nedley.
184
00:08:09,892 --> 00:08:13,594
How can he just... be gone?
185
00:08:13,596 --> 00:08:16,530
It was months of chaos
after the evacuation ended.
186
00:08:16,532 --> 00:08:18,365
People came back, yeah, but...
187
00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:20,802
to be blunt, others just disappeared.
188
00:08:21,571 --> 00:08:22,870
Kate?
189
00:08:22,872 --> 00:08:24,672
I saw her on one of
the evacuation trains.
190
00:08:24,674 --> 00:08:25,740
But beyond that...
191
00:08:25,742 --> 00:08:27,742
Jeremy? And Robin?
192
00:08:27,744 --> 00:08:29,062
Jeremy's getting by,
193
00:08:29,064 --> 00:08:31,431
though I haven't heard
from him in months.
194
00:08:31,433 --> 00:08:33,367
Robin...
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00:08:35,437 --> 00:08:37,235
How could we have been in that garden
196
00:08:37,237 --> 00:08:38,571
for a year and a half?
197
00:08:38,573 --> 00:08:41,876
We were not. Time
must be differentiated,
198
00:08:41,878 --> 00:08:43,242
fluid in some manner.
199
00:08:43,244 --> 00:08:46,079
Yeah, God, it's such a mind-frog.
200
00:08:46,081 --> 00:08:47,780
I mean, how old even am I?
201
00:08:48,984 --> 00:08:50,618
I missed so many Property Brothers!
202
00:08:51,486 --> 00:08:53,019
I feel that.
203
00:08:53,021 --> 00:08:55,088
At least if we'd have
lived the past 18 months,
204
00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:56,423
it would be easier to...
205
00:08:56,425 --> 00:08:58,727
There was nothing easy about
those months. Not a thing.
206
00:08:58,729 --> 00:09:00,863
No, I didn't mean it like that.
207
00:09:02,263 --> 00:09:03,596
Not like that at all.
208
00:09:03,598 --> 00:09:05,598
There's no almond milk.
209
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,401
It's still hard to get
some things. Sorry.
210
00:09:08,403 --> 00:09:11,804
Please don't say you're
sorry anymore, okay?
211
00:09:11,806 --> 00:09:13,406
You don't need to be.
212
00:09:13,408 --> 00:09:15,376
What you have done, Sheriff...
213
00:09:18,980 --> 00:09:20,847
Nicole...
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00:09:20,849 --> 00:09:22,815
is nothing short of heroic.
215
00:09:22,817 --> 00:09:24,557
In the face of all adversity,
216
00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:26,827
you alone kept the homestead safe.
217
00:09:28,123 --> 00:09:29,522
I had Rachel.
218
00:09:29,524 --> 00:09:31,325
And the Earp shotguns.
219
00:09:32,494 --> 00:09:35,429
And Wynonna still hasn't come home.
220
00:09:36,665 --> 00:09:38,197
They have to let us see her.
221
00:09:38,199 --> 00:09:41,668
Wynonna said she last
left Nedley with Mercedes.
222
00:09:41,670 --> 00:09:44,203
- What is the news on her?
- It's not good.
223
00:09:44,205 --> 00:09:46,139
There's a new demon bar
out on Horsehead Trail.
224
00:09:46,141 --> 00:09:48,777
And, though given the circumstances,
225
00:09:48,779 --> 00:09:50,346
it is but a trifle...
226
00:09:51,546 --> 00:09:53,846
is there word of my Charlene?
227
00:10:03,324 --> 00:10:04,457
Woo-hoo!
228
00:10:15,086 --> 00:10:17,354
Vacation is over, assholes.
229
00:10:18,740 --> 00:10:21,842
It is time for a Holliday.
230
00:10:24,546 --> 00:10:26,246
The club is members only.
231
00:10:27,315 --> 00:10:28,615
Well, here are my dues.
232
00:10:31,086 --> 00:10:33,986
Salutations, Patrons of...
233
00:10:33,988 --> 00:10:36,723
The Glory Hole?
234
00:10:36,725 --> 00:10:39,258
Is that really the name of this latrine?
235
00:10:39,260 --> 00:10:42,128
"Why should I obtain by force
236
00:10:42,130 --> 00:10:45,465
that which I can obtain by cheating?"
237
00:10:45,467 --> 00:10:48,434
John Henry Holliday,
238
00:10:48,436 --> 00:10:51,871
born 1851, Griffin, Georgia.
239
00:10:51,873 --> 00:10:52,873
Amon.
240
00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:56,809
I'm the proprietor of this latrine.
241
00:10:56,811 --> 00:10:59,712
You sure you wouldn't rather
cheat than force your way in?
242
00:10:59,714 --> 00:11:01,781
Bring me Ms. Gardner.
243
00:11:01,783 --> 00:11:04,650
Unless you fancy kissing hardwood too.
244
00:11:04,652 --> 00:11:06,385
Hmm, well...
245
00:11:06,387 --> 00:11:08,540
There were parts of that scenario
246
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:10,977
which I found enticing.
247
00:11:13,061 --> 00:11:15,729
Big fan, Mr. H.
248
00:11:17,799 --> 00:11:19,433
It's a demon bar.
249
00:11:20,468 --> 00:11:24,505
You think we're not thrilled
to welcome an undead legend?
250
00:11:27,041 --> 00:11:29,242
Not the worst thing I've been called.
251
00:11:31,913 --> 00:11:34,480
Welcome to my Glory Hole.
252
00:11:34,482 --> 00:11:36,616
That's right, bonbons.
253
00:11:36,618 --> 00:11:38,918
It's time for your nicest vice,
254
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:41,621
the mistress of the ruthless.
255
00:11:43,825 --> 00:11:45,124
Portia Control.
256
00:11:45,126 --> 00:11:47,860
♪ Do you want to go downtown ♪
257
00:11:47,862 --> 00:11:50,596
♪ See the city lights, it's
the red light district ♪
258
00:11:50,598 --> 00:11:53,666
♪ Do you want to go downtown ♪
259
00:11:56,236 --> 00:11:58,838
If they think they're
gonna lock up my sister
260
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,007
for the maybe murder
of my favorite Sheriff,
261
00:12:01,009 --> 00:12:02,842
present company excepted, of course.
262
00:12:02,844 --> 00:12:04,277
Present company not the Sheriff.
263
00:12:04,279 --> 00:12:06,546
Yeah, and what the hell's that about?!
264
00:12:06,548 --> 00:12:08,447
Yeah. You haven't met the "they" yet.
265
00:12:08,449 --> 00:12:10,683
Nicole. I am gonna go to town
266
00:12:10,685 --> 00:12:12,618
and I am gonna kick so much ass,
267
00:12:12,620 --> 00:12:14,154
I might go up a shoe size.
268
00:12:15,356 --> 00:12:17,224
God, I've missed you, Waverly Earp.
269
00:12:18,927 --> 00:12:21,027
Though how do I, an adult woman,
270
00:12:21,029 --> 00:12:23,328
own this many fuzzy garments?
271
00:12:23,330 --> 00:12:25,331
It's only cause I
organized it by fabric.
272
00:12:25,333 --> 00:12:27,654
I did faux fur, flirty florals,
273
00:12:27,656 --> 00:12:29,257
feminine flannels...
274
00:12:30,538 --> 00:12:32,038
You saved it all.
275
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:34,040
So carefully.
276
00:12:34,042 --> 00:12:36,006
Yeah, everything I could, anyway.
277
00:12:36,008 --> 00:12:37,575
A little help here, please!
278
00:12:37,577 --> 00:12:40,246
Geez. Hey, Rachel!
279
00:12:40,248 --> 00:12:42,621
Not like that!
280
00:12:42,623 --> 00:12:45,552
Honestly, it's like this girl has
never milked a skunk before.
281
00:12:46,654 --> 00:12:49,340
You're saying all these
words like they make sense.
282
00:12:49,342 --> 00:12:52,158
I gotta go save her from herself.
283
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,428
Come back safe, okay? Again.
284
00:12:55,263 --> 00:12:57,096
And with Wynonna this time.
285
00:12:57,098 --> 00:12:58,764
I just need your juice!
286
00:12:58,766 --> 00:13:00,968
Okay.
287
00:13:05,773 --> 00:13:07,506
What are you in for?
288
00:13:07,508 --> 00:13:09,436
I splatowed one of my customers.
289
00:13:09,438 --> 00:13:11,072
I thought she was a Medusa.
290
00:13:11,074 --> 00:13:13,842
- 'Cause of how high you were?
- No, because she was a Medusa.
291
00:13:16,651 --> 00:13:19,819
If Purgatory's such a
hellhole now, why stay?
292
00:13:19,821 --> 00:13:22,422
Wait... How'd you get around
the problem of the border?
293
00:13:23,789 --> 00:13:25,223
What problem with the border?
294
00:13:25,225 --> 00:13:27,359
Oh, did I not mention that?
295
00:13:27,361 --> 00:13:28,694
Okay...
296
00:13:28,696 --> 00:13:30,663
After all the demons moth-to-a-flamed
297
00:13:30,665 --> 00:13:33,607
the Ghost River Triangle,
some government dickpickles
298
00:13:33,609 --> 00:13:35,868
set up, like, a quarantine
around the place.
299
00:13:35,870 --> 00:13:37,605
Whoa, whoa, whoa, so,
people can't get out now?
300
00:13:37,607 --> 00:13:39,872
Demons can't. Reg peeps can.
301
00:13:39,874 --> 00:13:41,274
Good.
302
00:13:41,276 --> 00:13:43,075
Wait. Not criminals!
303
00:13:43,077 --> 00:13:45,211
There's no way in Herojuana
they'll let you out.
304
00:13:45,213 --> 00:13:47,914
This is a Russian doll of suckage.
305
00:13:47,916 --> 00:13:50,940
Inside an arbitrary border,
there's a hellmouth,
306
00:13:50,942 --> 00:13:52,546
inside that is a demon bush party,
307
00:13:52,548 --> 00:13:53,986
inside that is a jail,
308
00:13:53,988 --> 00:13:55,421
and inside that,
309
00:13:55,423 --> 00:13:57,456
I'm at the mercy of a
Dukes of Hazzard reject
310
00:13:57,458 --> 00:13:59,325
who wouldn't know justice
if it splatowed him
311
00:13:59,327 --> 00:14:01,594
in his butter sculpture face.
312
00:14:01,596 --> 00:14:03,496
Ms. Earp? You have a visitor.
313
00:14:03,498 --> 00:14:05,064
Good.
314
00:14:05,066 --> 00:14:06,732
Give me a heads up next time.
315
00:14:06,734 --> 00:14:08,067
You were in the zone.
316
00:14:08,069 --> 00:14:10,289
My client has the right to a trial.
317
00:14:10,291 --> 00:14:11,904
Your sister will get one.
318
00:14:11,906 --> 00:14:13,635
That's the whole
reason I brought her in,
319
00:14:13,637 --> 00:14:15,138
instead of letting the town hang her.
320
00:14:15,944 --> 00:14:18,310
I'm issuing a writ of habeas corpus.
321
00:14:18,312 --> 00:14:19,578
No!
322
00:14:19,580 --> 00:14:21,647
These dickpickles are gonna
have to show us a body.
323
00:14:21,649 --> 00:14:24,250
That is literally what
habeas corpus means.
324
00:14:24,252 --> 00:14:26,085
You two wanna let me know
when you're done slap-fighting
325
00:14:26,087 --> 00:14:27,621
'cause I've got a hell of a backlog.
326
00:14:27,623 --> 00:14:28,924
Oh, you've got a backlog?
327
00:14:28,926 --> 00:14:31,260
Buddy, apparently I haven't
pooped in 18 months.
328
00:14:31,262 --> 00:14:33,163
I have a backlog.
329
00:14:34,495 --> 00:14:36,128
Motion to strike that from the record.
330
00:14:36,130 --> 00:14:37,596
Motion denied.
331
00:14:37,598 --> 00:14:39,665
Nice of you to join us, Magistrate.
332
00:14:39,667 --> 00:14:41,969
- Mm-hmm.
- Magistrate?
333
00:14:43,203 --> 00:14:45,371
The family member here
would like to register
334
00:14:45,373 --> 00:14:46,939
a judicial complaint, Your Honor.
335
00:14:46,941 --> 00:14:48,041
Yeah, I don't do those.
336
00:14:48,043 --> 00:14:49,875
I just like the part
where I'm all judgy.
337
00:14:49,877 --> 00:14:51,979
It's regarding the Earp case.
338
00:14:56,718 --> 00:14:57,818
That's her?
339
00:14:58,987 --> 00:15:00,486
That?
340
00:15:00,488 --> 00:15:02,121
That can hear you.
341
00:15:02,123 --> 00:15:04,557
Um, we need to manage
this one carefully.
342
00:15:04,559 --> 00:15:06,792
There was an incident downtown, and...
343
00:15:06,794 --> 00:15:09,552
- people are watching.
- Ooh, fun.
344
00:15:09,554 --> 00:15:12,481
Uh, can we not refer to
the attempted execution
345
00:15:12,483 --> 00:15:14,034
of my client as fun?
346
00:15:14,836 --> 00:15:16,936
Can I speak with you
for a moment privately?
347
00:15:16,938 --> 00:15:18,472
In my office?
348
00:15:19,674 --> 00:15:21,675
Cute outfit.
349
00:15:25,113 --> 00:15:27,279
Is this our
plan? Is this our entire plan?
350
00:15:27,281 --> 00:15:28,681
No, of course not.
351
00:15:28,683 --> 00:15:30,916
Wynonna, we're gonna prove
you didn't kill Nedley.
352
00:15:30,918 --> 00:15:31,919
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
353
00:15:31,921 --> 00:15:33,322
Doc's all over it.
354
00:15:36,190 --> 00:15:39,158
♪ Do you wanna go downtown ♪
355
00:15:41,729 --> 00:15:43,562
Behave, bunnies.
356
00:15:43,564 --> 00:15:45,232
Or don't.
357
00:15:48,870 --> 00:15:50,536
What a dame.
358
00:15:50,538 --> 00:15:52,906
Do you want another Brandy Alexander?
359
00:15:53,708 --> 00:15:56,375
I wish I could offer
you something different,
360
00:15:56,377 --> 00:15:59,845
but my supply trucks keep
getting eaten by the woods.
361
00:15:59,847 --> 00:16:04,484
And what with this county
technically dry these days...
362
00:16:08,089 --> 00:16:09,889
Doc!
363
00:16:09,891 --> 00:16:12,391
What a relief it is to see you.
364
00:16:12,393 --> 00:16:15,062
And a letdown to smell you.
365
00:16:16,297 --> 00:16:17,797
Well, careful now.
366
00:16:17,799 --> 00:16:19,565
You will make your bunnies jealous.
367
00:16:19,567 --> 00:16:21,534
They just love when I serve them up
368
00:16:21,536 --> 00:16:24,003
all that bloodsucker realness.
369
00:16:24,005 --> 00:16:26,872
Who turned you? Was it Kate?
370
00:16:26,874 --> 00:16:30,109
What? I'm not a vamp!
371
00:16:30,111 --> 00:16:31,544
Realness means faking it.
372
00:16:31,546 --> 00:16:33,379
God. Keep up!
373
00:16:33,381 --> 00:16:36,082
Wait, so you are not actually a demon?
374
00:16:36,084 --> 00:16:38,151
I just let them think that I am,
375
00:16:38,153 --> 00:16:40,186
because it's safer that way.
376
00:16:40,188 --> 00:16:43,222
What does that tell you about
what this town has become?
377
00:16:43,224 --> 00:16:45,191
Please tell me everyone's okay, Doc.
378
00:16:45,193 --> 00:16:47,760
Waverly is fine. Wynonna is in jail.
379
00:16:47,762 --> 00:16:50,396
Frick. I was worried about that.
380
00:16:50,398 --> 00:16:51,965
What really happened to Nedley?
381
00:16:53,134 --> 00:16:55,267
When Wynonna left him with me,
382
00:16:55,269 --> 00:16:57,069
I tried my best to Meredith Grey
383
00:16:57,071 --> 00:16:58,771
that magnificent old
bitch back to health.
384
00:16:58,773 --> 00:17:01,006
But eventually, he did a runner on me.
385
00:17:01,008 --> 00:17:02,074
Why?
386
00:17:02,076 --> 00:17:05,209
He was oozing. And he smelled.
387
00:17:05,211 --> 00:17:08,035
Like a teen boy's feet,
coated in blue cheese.
388
00:17:08,037 --> 00:17:09,949
Worse than you!
389
00:17:09,951 --> 00:17:11,650
You paint quite a picture, Portia.
390
00:17:11,652 --> 00:17:13,819
I tried my best.
391
00:17:13,821 --> 00:17:15,688
But this place was getting real.
392
00:17:15,690 --> 00:17:17,990
And after a few days, he just...
393
00:17:17,992 --> 00:17:19,960
he took off into the woods.
394
00:17:20,761 --> 00:17:22,396
Where the monsters are.
395
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,134
You must come and attest to that.
396
00:17:28,136 --> 00:17:30,136
Doc, this isn't the
world that you all left.
397
00:17:30,138 --> 00:17:32,271
We must produce Nedley,
398
00:17:32,273 --> 00:17:34,374
either alive or dead, we must find him.
399
00:17:35,810 --> 00:17:38,511
I can tell you where
the people-eater is,
400
00:17:38,513 --> 00:17:40,246
it's out at Grizzly Flats.
401
00:17:40,248 --> 00:17:42,348
Maybe you'll find
something to show them.
402
00:17:42,350 --> 00:17:44,248
Doc, they say it's claws
are like if Wolverine
403
00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:45,684
impregnated a chainsaw.
404
00:17:46,854 --> 00:17:48,388
Thank you, Mercedes.
405
00:17:54,695 --> 00:17:56,662
Oh!
406
00:17:56,664 --> 00:17:58,030
Can we try a jailbreak?
407
00:17:58,032 --> 00:17:59,965
No! They've got a lot
of guys working for them,
408
00:17:59,967 --> 00:18:01,400
- whatever they are.
- Yeah.
409
00:18:01,402 --> 00:18:02,968
- What if they're all demons?
- Exactly,
410
00:18:02,970 --> 00:18:04,970
and I don't have my...
411
00:18:04,972 --> 00:18:06,906
... shiny thing that
makes with the peace.
412
00:18:06,908 --> 00:18:08,574
- Shit.
- Ahem!
413
00:18:08,576 --> 00:18:10,677
I have an announcement to make!
414
00:18:11,512 --> 00:18:13,078
So!
415
00:18:14,715 --> 00:18:17,983
You think that our jails
416
00:18:17,985 --> 00:18:20,586
are too crowded, and
our courts are too slow?
417
00:18:20,588 --> 00:18:23,322
Think there's nothing to
do in this lame-ass town?
418
00:18:23,324 --> 00:18:26,058
Think we need a little bit
more junk in our trunks?
419
00:18:26,060 --> 00:18:28,496
- Is she asking me?
- And as always,
420
00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:30,232
we aim to please,
421
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:32,302
and we're here to fix any problem
422
00:18:32,304 --> 00:18:34,700
you guys think you might have. So...
423
00:18:34,702 --> 00:18:38,037
lock up your daughters,
and lube up your saucepans!
424
00:18:38,039 --> 00:18:41,874
All of our jailbirds
will be competing for one,
425
00:18:41,876 --> 00:18:44,677
yes, one, get-out-of-jail-free card.
426
00:18:44,679 --> 00:18:46,581
- In the first ever...
- What?
427
00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:49,682
... Randy Nedley Memorial Chili Cook-off
428
00:18:49,684 --> 00:18:52,506
For Freedom! Yay!
429
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:57,618
Is... Is this real life?
430
00:18:57,620 --> 00:19:00,189
Might be for you. But I'm dead.
431
00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:12,084
Hope you're ready to stumble!
432
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:15,010
'Cause this tummy is
starting to grumble!
433
00:19:15,012 --> 00:19:16,545
Woo!
434
00:19:16,547 --> 00:19:19,649
She is Grade A, USDA certifiable.
435
00:19:19,651 --> 00:19:21,066
Hey, just be glad you weren't here
436
00:19:21,068 --> 00:19:24,503
for the Tops-Off-Dance-Off For Freedom!
437
00:19:24,505 --> 00:19:25,871
Every month or so,
438
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:28,340
the Magistrate manages
to out-whackadoo herself.
439
00:19:28,342 --> 00:19:30,342
I don't get it. What's her endgame?
440
00:19:30,344 --> 00:19:33,011
Ugh, classic bread and circuses, brah.
441
00:19:33,013 --> 00:19:35,413
Keep the populace fed and entertained,
442
00:19:35,415 --> 00:19:37,827
and you can get away
with all kinds of devilry.
443
00:19:37,829 --> 00:19:40,234
Yup. Okay, your trash talk is
a little all over the place.
444
00:19:40,236 --> 00:19:42,503
Hey, they set people
free after these contests.
445
00:19:42,505 --> 00:19:43,804
I've seen it.
446
00:19:43,806 --> 00:19:46,274
What if this is the only
chance for us to get out?
447
00:19:47,843 --> 00:19:49,576
Wynonna!
448
00:19:49,578 --> 00:19:51,312
Hi.
449
00:19:51,314 --> 00:19:52,514
Haught.
450
00:19:55,518 --> 00:19:57,284
Thanks for getting her home.
451
00:19:57,286 --> 00:19:59,386
I only did it for me.
452
00:19:59,388 --> 00:20:01,489
Like everything you've ever done.
453
00:20:02,391 --> 00:20:03,992
It's been a while.
454
00:20:05,394 --> 00:20:07,828
A long while, apparently.
455
00:20:07,830 --> 00:20:09,730
- How you holding up?
- Peachy.
456
00:20:09,732 --> 00:20:12,166
Hey. I brought a few things from home.
457
00:20:12,168 --> 00:20:13,567
Is that against the rules?
458
00:20:13,569 --> 00:20:14,902
Uh, I feel like the only rule
459
00:20:14,904 --> 00:20:17,338
is don't tell the Empress
she's got no clothes.
460
00:20:17,340 --> 00:20:20,074
Well she's def got no panties.
461
00:20:20,076 --> 00:20:22,910
What? She jumped up on a
desk. I couldn't help it.
462
00:20:22,912 --> 00:20:25,145
Is she waxed?
463
00:20:25,147 --> 00:20:26,681
- Fudge!
- And that's the first toot
464
00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:30,017
of the Randy Nedley Memorial
Chili Cook-off For Freedom!
465
00:20:30,019 --> 00:20:32,119
With a lot more toots to follow.
466
00:20:32,121 --> 00:20:34,621
Now get cooking, left-swipes!
467
00:20:34,623 --> 00:20:37,191
- Cook!
- Do I put the cheese in first?
468
00:20:37,193 --> 00:20:39,027
- Probably, right?
- Oh!
469
00:20:40,028 --> 00:20:41,128
- Okay.
- Okay.
470
00:20:41,130 --> 00:20:42,196
- Yup.
- Yup.
471
00:20:42,198 --> 00:20:43,698
We're on it. We're on it.
472
00:21:17,967 --> 00:21:20,434
Ohh...
473
00:21:20,436 --> 00:21:23,338
Oh, sweet honey-lamb.
474
00:21:41,457 --> 00:21:43,590
Come closer, now.
475
00:21:43,592 --> 00:21:46,427
It is time we met.
476
00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:53,133
Woo! You want a t-shirt?!
477
00:21:53,135 --> 00:21:54,201
You want a t-shirt?
478
00:21:54,203 --> 00:21:56,437
And you get a t-shirt! Oh!
479
00:21:56,439 --> 00:21:57,905
In the nads!
480
00:21:57,907 --> 00:21:59,908
Now they're also XXL!
481
00:21:59,910 --> 00:22:01,210
Probably better not to be Sheriff
482
00:22:01,212 --> 00:22:02,679
while she's got her hands on that thing.
483
00:22:02,681 --> 00:22:04,745
Imagine the lawsuits?
484
00:22:04,747 --> 00:22:07,347
I never imagined you giving up the star,
485
00:22:07,349 --> 00:22:09,116
power-hungry fiend that you are.
486
00:22:09,118 --> 00:22:11,018
I didn't give up. Cleo showed up,
487
00:22:11,020 --> 00:22:13,120
reincorporated the town,
made herself magistrate,
488
00:22:13,122 --> 00:22:15,823
- and elected her own Sheriff.
- So nobody stopped her?
489
00:22:15,825 --> 00:22:18,692
Who had time for politics? I
had Rachel, and the homestead,
490
00:22:18,694 --> 00:22:20,695
and people to look for.
491
00:22:20,697 --> 00:22:22,331
And I did look. Hard.
492
00:22:22,333 --> 00:22:23,767
Where'd you look? Up Bunny Loblaw's...
493
00:22:23,769 --> 00:22:25,436
Don't come at me about
it, okay, Wynonna?
494
00:22:25,438 --> 00:22:27,668
I know I let everybody down.
495
00:22:27,670 --> 00:22:29,303
Nicole, I would never say...
496
00:22:29,305 --> 00:22:31,705
Are you two chatting?
I need those onions, stat!
497
00:22:31,707 --> 00:22:33,640
Yes, chef! Coming.
498
00:22:33,642 --> 00:22:36,309
Okay. Now, for the pressed seitan.
499
00:22:36,311 --> 00:22:38,812
What?! Who's President Satan?
500
00:22:38,814 --> 00:22:41,482
No. Seitan. As in vital wheat gluten.
501
00:22:41,484 --> 00:22:42,983
It's the secret to a hearty vegan chili.
502
00:22:42,985 --> 00:22:44,751
We're making vegan chili?!
503
00:22:44,753 --> 00:22:47,388
Baby, how's she supposed to win
anything with vegan chili?!
504
00:22:49,792 --> 00:22:52,926
Not today, Satan!
505
00:22:52,928 --> 00:22:54,027
Afternoon, Ms. Haught.
506
00:22:54,029 --> 00:22:56,196
Sheriff Clayborn.
507
00:22:56,198 --> 00:22:57,798
Makes a change to see you back in town.
508
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,667
I hope that means
there's no hard feelings.
509
00:23:00,669 --> 00:23:02,370
About the election.
510
00:23:02,372 --> 00:23:04,738
I didn't have as much time to campaign.
511
00:23:04,740 --> 00:23:07,207
Or your other rumored advantages.
512
00:23:07,209 --> 00:23:09,710
Nice you can afford a break now, though.
513
00:23:09,712 --> 00:23:10,945
I mean, that is,
514
00:23:10,947 --> 00:23:12,967
if you feel the homestead
is safe with a...
515
00:23:12,969 --> 00:23:14,770
teenage girl on the case.
516
00:23:16,185 --> 00:23:17,986
Good luck with the chili.
517
00:23:25,928 --> 00:23:28,028
Aw, you have your little worry wrinkle.
518
00:23:28,030 --> 00:23:30,664
There are things, Waverly.
Every night, in those traps.
519
00:23:30,666 --> 00:23:32,866
The monster really wants inside.
520
00:23:32,868 --> 00:23:34,402
You're worried about Rachel.
521
00:23:35,671 --> 00:23:37,404
Why don't you go home?
522
00:23:37,406 --> 00:23:38,872
You sure you don't mind?
523
00:23:38,874 --> 00:23:40,174
No.
524
00:23:49,051 --> 00:23:51,084
I'll give you 20 bucks
for half your bacon.
525
00:23:51,086 --> 00:23:53,921
You don't have 20 bucks.
526
00:23:53,923 --> 00:23:55,557
Wynonna!
527
00:23:59,228 --> 00:24:00,995
For Randy Nedley.
528
00:24:20,049 --> 00:24:21,815
Rachel?!
529
00:24:21,817 --> 00:24:25,052
- Valdez?!
- Nicole! I'm okay!
530
00:24:25,054 --> 00:24:27,087
Okay. You're okay?
531
00:24:27,089 --> 00:24:28,789
Don't make it more
painful by mommying me.
532
00:24:28,791 --> 00:24:30,223
What happened?
533
00:24:30,225 --> 00:24:32,125
I'm out re-baiting trap
seven, by the poplars,
534
00:24:32,127 --> 00:24:35,062
and you scared away the skunks
earlier, so I used kombucha.
535
00:24:35,064 --> 00:24:36,797
What? It kills all kinds of things,
536
00:24:36,799 --> 00:24:39,032
you know, like intestinal
parasites, and...
537
00:24:39,034 --> 00:24:40,434
Ow, ow!
538
00:24:40,436 --> 00:24:42,202
So I'm filling up the trap,
539
00:24:42,204 --> 00:24:44,571
and it runs in, you know,
the big, crusty one.
540
00:24:44,573 --> 00:24:47,140
But then, you know that
old-timey cowboy dude?
541
00:24:47,142 --> 00:24:48,375
Daddy Blue Eyes?
542
00:24:48,377 --> 00:24:49,811
- Doc.
- Yeah!
543
00:24:49,813 --> 00:24:51,447
He's on the hill, and he's yelling at it
544
00:24:51,449 --> 00:24:52,883
to come get him instead.
545
00:24:52,885 --> 00:24:55,282
- Did he kill it?
- No, but he shot it.
546
00:24:55,284 --> 00:24:57,755
Okay. You are coming inside.
547
00:24:57,757 --> 00:24:59,620
And that is my mommy voice.
548
00:25:02,257 --> 00:25:03,890
Oh, my God. It's edible. Try it!
549
00:25:03,892 --> 00:25:05,726
You threw stolen beef
and a can of anchovies
550
00:25:05,728 --> 00:25:07,594
into my vegan masterpiece!
551
00:25:07,596 --> 00:25:08,829
Ahh!
552
00:25:08,831 --> 00:25:10,263
Damn.
553
00:25:10,265 --> 00:25:12,432
I'm gonna shove that thing
up her canned anchovies.
554
00:25:12,434 --> 00:25:15,202
Criminal, take it.
555
00:25:15,204 --> 00:25:16,638
And this.
556
00:25:17,606 --> 00:25:19,439
Criminal chiliheads!
557
00:25:19,441 --> 00:25:22,843
As you all know, I
excel at having opinions.
558
00:25:22,845 --> 00:25:24,811
And I was going to decide today's winner
559
00:25:24,813 --> 00:25:26,279
all by my lonesome,
560
00:25:26,281 --> 00:25:27,848
but a little voice in my head was like,
561
00:25:27,850 --> 00:25:30,117
don't be such a greedy
skank's toilet, Cleo!
562
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:31,318
- Cleo?
- Toilet?
563
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:34,221
So I asked the second...
564
00:25:34,223 --> 00:25:36,490
prettiest girl in all of Purgatory
565
00:25:36,492 --> 00:25:37,659
to come help me out.
566
00:25:37,661 --> 00:25:41,028
So slap your bits together
for your Miss Kidney Bean:
567
00:25:41,030 --> 00:25:42,829
Chrissy Nedley!
568
00:25:50,839 --> 00:25:53,607
Oh... You weren't kidding.
569
00:25:53,609 --> 00:25:56,610
She really does think
you killed her dad.
570
00:25:56,612 --> 00:25:59,446
Yeah, I don't think you're gonna win.
571
00:25:59,448 --> 00:26:01,928
I'm gonna turn out the lights
in case it's attracted to them.
572
00:26:05,220 --> 00:26:06,853
It's here.
573
00:26:09,692 --> 00:26:12,392
Nicole! Let me in! Let me in!
574
00:26:12,394 --> 00:26:15,228
It's Dr. Mustache,
we have to save him!
575
00:26:15,230 --> 00:26:17,031
I'm going out front!
576
00:26:18,067 --> 00:26:19,900
It's gonna break the glass!
577
00:26:19,902 --> 00:26:21,068
Open up!
578
00:26:21,070 --> 00:26:22,903
Nicole, you have to let him in!
579
00:26:22,905 --> 00:26:24,671
Nicole!
580
00:26:24,673 --> 00:26:27,042
Nicole!
581
00:26:28,572 --> 00:26:30,072
Wake up!
582
00:26:32,216 --> 00:26:34,584
Please!
583
00:26:36,633 --> 00:26:38,200
That felt like it took forever.
584
00:26:38,202 --> 00:26:40,303
- Yeah, I bet.
- Move!
585
00:26:49,980 --> 00:26:52,914
You carried a bottle the
whole time you were running?
586
00:26:52,916 --> 00:26:54,884
- You are goals.
- No, he is not goals,
587
00:26:54,886 --> 00:26:57,287
- he needs water.
- Or maybe he needs...
588
00:26:57,289 --> 00:26:59,290
Don't say kombucha.
589
00:26:59,292 --> 00:27:01,189
Thanks for distracting
the crusty booger beast.
590
00:27:01,191 --> 00:27:03,491
- Right, Haught?
- Yeah. Thanks, Doc.
591
00:27:03,493 --> 00:27:05,427
Do not let me set here
for more than ten minutes.
592
00:27:05,429 --> 00:27:07,462
I am fixing to return to the woods.
593
00:27:07,464 --> 00:27:09,030
- For what?
- To complete the job.
594
00:27:09,032 --> 00:27:11,800
- That is a host animal.
- For the little puffballs!
595
00:27:11,802 --> 00:27:13,635
I saw it leaking from the wound.
596
00:27:13,637 --> 00:27:16,137
I believe it has slowed a little.
597
00:27:16,139 --> 00:27:17,940
Then it's time we strike back.
598
00:27:19,243 --> 00:27:21,743
It might be okay.
599
00:27:21,745 --> 00:27:23,378
- I'll never get used to that.
- So...
600
00:27:23,380 --> 00:27:25,581
Clearly some of you
didn't want it bad enough.
601
00:27:25,583 --> 00:27:27,017
Seriously, four of those chilis
602
00:27:27,019 --> 00:27:28,697
was just hot diarrhea with beans.
603
00:27:28,699 --> 00:27:30,165
- Certainly mine.
- Ew.
604
00:27:30,167 --> 00:27:32,568
So, thank you for attending
605
00:27:32,570 --> 00:27:35,337
the first Randy Nedley
Memorial Chili Cook-off.
606
00:27:35,339 --> 00:27:36,973
If you leave off the
"For Freedom", so help me,
607
00:27:36,975 --> 00:27:39,274
I will treat you to an
actual bowl of hot diarrhea.
608
00:27:39,276 --> 00:27:40,909
For Freedom!
609
00:27:40,911 --> 00:27:43,912
My father had a complicated
relationship with this cook-off.
610
00:27:43,914 --> 00:27:46,176
If he were here today, he would say...
611
00:27:46,178 --> 00:27:48,251
God, no one cares, Pissy, who won?!
612
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:51,820
And today's winner of our
get out-of-jail-free card
613
00:27:51,822 --> 00:27:53,055
goes to...
614
00:27:53,057 --> 00:27:54,590
Please, please, please, please.
615
00:27:54,592 --> 00:27:56,859
Wynonna Earp!
616
00:27:56,861 --> 00:27:58,928
What?
617
00:28:04,368 --> 00:28:08,070
Winner, winner, chili dinner! I win!
618
00:28:08,072 --> 00:28:10,173
- Glad it was you, Cell-y!
- Listen, you can have the rest
619
00:28:10,175 --> 00:28:11,876
- of my chili if you want.
- Ah, I'm good.
620
00:28:13,210 --> 00:28:14,910
What?
621
00:28:14,912 --> 00:28:16,012
Ah...
622
00:28:17,414 --> 00:28:19,648
- No way, right?
- Okay!
623
00:28:19,650 --> 00:28:21,483
Bye!
624
00:28:21,485 --> 00:28:24,720
Pound it. No? No?
625
00:28:24,722 --> 00:28:27,623
It tastes like peppermint butt.
626
00:28:27,625 --> 00:28:28,957
- Hey, hey!
- So why?
627
00:28:28,959 --> 00:28:31,161
Unhand your Chili Queen!
628
00:28:32,997 --> 00:28:34,764
That's why.
629
00:28:36,167 --> 00:28:39,067
Where are those keys?
630
00:28:39,069 --> 00:28:40,831
To my new car?
631
00:28:40,833 --> 00:28:42,905
Wow, this contest has everything!
632
00:28:42,907 --> 00:28:45,574
Holt, or Sheriff Clayborn,
633
00:28:45,576 --> 00:28:47,442
doesn't like it when I
drive department vehicles,
634
00:28:47,444 --> 00:28:49,711
but he can have a big
old gag of my gavel.
635
00:28:49,713 --> 00:28:52,147
Did you forget the "freedom" part?
636
00:28:52,149 --> 00:28:53,916
Yeah, not 'til you get to the border.
637
00:28:53,918 --> 00:28:55,003
I'm not leaving town.
638
00:28:55,005 --> 00:28:56,581
Don't worry, I can get
you out. I know people.
639
00:28:56,583 --> 00:28:58,153
No, I mean, I won't.
640
00:28:58,155 --> 00:28:59,788
Do you know how many Purgatorians
641
00:28:59,790 --> 00:29:01,824
would have murdered for this prize?
642
00:29:01,826 --> 00:29:03,992
Oh, weird...
643
00:29:03,994 --> 00:29:06,095
I just realized that that's
exactly what you did!
644
00:29:08,799 --> 00:29:10,833
You acted like you knew who I was.
645
00:29:10,835 --> 00:29:12,601
When we first met.
646
00:29:12,603 --> 00:29:13,937
But you're not a Revenant.
647
00:29:15,306 --> 00:29:17,841
And if you were really
powerful, you'd just kill me.
648
00:29:20,978 --> 00:29:22,345
Yay!
649
00:29:23,147 --> 00:29:24,414
Keys!
650
00:29:24,416 --> 00:29:25,883
I wish I knew what we were up against,
651
00:29:25,885 --> 00:29:28,183
so we could prep a silver
bullet or a wooden stake.
652
00:29:28,185 --> 00:29:30,219
- Sorry, Doc.
- Understood.
653
00:29:30,221 --> 00:29:32,187
Okay, don't yell at me, but...
654
00:29:32,189 --> 00:29:34,556
the creature did make a Chewbacca howl
655
00:29:34,558 --> 00:29:36,091
when it stepped in
the puddle of kombucha.
656
00:29:36,093 --> 00:29:37,993
For the last time,
home brewed mold juice
657
00:29:37,995 --> 00:29:39,396
will not defeat pure evil.
658
00:29:39,398 --> 00:29:41,196
It smelled like pure evil.
659
00:29:41,198 --> 00:29:44,366
When it was leaking? Like
blue cheese and boy feet.
660
00:29:44,368 --> 00:29:46,468
Did you hear someone say that?
661
00:29:46,470 --> 00:29:49,004
It dealt it. I simply smelt it.
662
00:29:49,006 --> 00:29:51,807
Look, I am not suggesting
we refrain from hunting it...
663
00:29:51,809 --> 00:29:52,943
Like hell I would.
664
00:29:52,945 --> 00:29:55,344
... but I looked into its eyes
and I'm remain unconvinced
665
00:29:55,346 --> 00:29:56,778
it is our enemy.
666
00:29:56,780 --> 00:29:58,768
This thing wants to take Waverly's home,
667
00:29:58,770 --> 00:30:01,650
and our ability to
think of anything else.
668
00:30:01,652 --> 00:30:03,285
I found this in the trap,
669
00:30:03,287 --> 00:30:04,786
last year when you guys were...
670
00:30:04,788 --> 00:30:06,122
Gone for too long.
671
00:30:07,324 --> 00:30:08,792
At first I thought it was irrelevant,
672
00:30:08,794 --> 00:30:10,859
but then I figured it out.
673
00:30:10,861 --> 00:30:12,561
It's a Hawaiian shirt, Doc.
674
00:30:12,563 --> 00:30:14,898
It's... It's Nedley's shirt.
675
00:30:16,333 --> 00:30:17,966
That thing killed him,
676
00:30:17,968 --> 00:30:19,936
and now we need to kill it.
677
00:30:20,771 --> 00:30:22,871
The ballpuffers are parasites,
678
00:30:22,873 --> 00:30:25,040
and they took over something.
679
00:30:25,042 --> 00:30:26,876
Someone.
680
00:30:27,745 --> 00:30:31,179
Someone that always
comes back to you, Nicole.
681
00:30:31,181 --> 00:30:32,414
No.
682
00:30:32,416 --> 00:30:35,083
What if the ogre didn't eat Nedley?
683
00:30:35,085 --> 00:30:37,519
- What if the ogre...
- ... is Nedley?
684
00:30:41,625 --> 00:30:43,458
People will find out...
685
00:30:43,460 --> 00:30:46,795
about the contest, about
you not keeping your word.
686
00:30:46,797 --> 00:30:49,299
One, how are they gonna find out?
687
00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:53,435
And two, what does an Earp know
about keeping their word, huh?
688
00:30:53,437 --> 00:30:55,370
That is priceless.
689
00:30:55,372 --> 00:30:56,838
You are hilare.
690
00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:58,274
So this is personal.
691
00:31:07,451 --> 00:31:09,017
No.
692
00:31:09,019 --> 00:31:10,452
See this...
693
00:31:10,454 --> 00:31:13,857
This is hereditary, daughter of Earps.
694
00:31:17,127 --> 00:31:19,361
Besides, we have to keep
695
00:31:19,363 --> 00:31:21,630
feeding something to this monster,
696
00:31:21,632 --> 00:31:24,299
whatever it is, to keep it out of town.
697
00:31:24,301 --> 00:31:25,934
See, Sheriff Holt and I?
698
00:31:25,936 --> 00:31:27,970
We know what it takes
699
00:31:27,972 --> 00:31:30,839
to get dirty jobs done.
700
00:31:30,841 --> 00:31:33,042
And if that dirty job...
701
00:31:34,778 --> 00:31:36,846
happens to be you?
702
00:31:38,182 --> 00:31:39,982
Bonus.
703
00:31:39,984 --> 00:31:42,118
- Now scream.
- Argh!
704
00:31:43,187 --> 00:31:45,153
Eat my vegan seitan.
705
00:31:45,155 --> 00:31:47,489
See, they lied.
706
00:31:47,491 --> 00:31:48,858
You're not even fun.
707
00:31:53,430 --> 00:31:55,330
Beastie boy!
708
00:31:55,332 --> 00:31:57,333
Come and get it!
709
00:32:00,904 --> 00:32:02,137
Where are you going?
710
00:32:02,139 --> 00:32:04,239
Oh, to sit in my car.
711
00:32:04,241 --> 00:32:06,008
Take a few pics!
712
00:32:06,010 --> 00:32:09,111
Maybe buff my muff, if the mood strikes.
713
00:32:09,113 --> 00:32:10,513
You are so weird.
714
00:32:13,784 --> 00:32:15,317
Previews are over.
715
00:32:15,319 --> 00:32:17,152
Looks like the creature
feature is starting.
716
00:32:17,154 --> 00:32:18,954
Get away from her, skank toilet!
717
00:32:18,956 --> 00:32:20,023
Ahh!
718
00:32:20,025 --> 00:32:21,923
For the record, I don't
believe in skank shaming,
719
00:32:21,925 --> 00:32:23,159
but you said it first.
720
00:32:25,662 --> 00:32:27,562
Sis, you okay?
721
00:32:27,564 --> 00:32:29,164
We need a knife or scissors.
722
00:32:29,166 --> 00:32:31,800
I have... teeth?
723
00:32:31,802 --> 00:32:33,703
Ugh! She's got a weapon!
724
00:32:34,638 --> 00:32:36,405
Friggin' skanks always do.
725
00:32:36,407 --> 00:32:38,073
Wait, I gotta stop saying that.
726
00:32:38,075 --> 00:32:39,909
Okay, stay there!
727
00:32:45,049 --> 00:32:47,482
No, no, no!
728
00:33:01,198 --> 00:33:02,598
Waverly!
729
00:33:04,668 --> 00:33:06,169
Waverly!
730
00:33:07,337 --> 00:33:09,105
- Hold your fire!
- It's Nedley!
731
00:33:12,009 --> 00:33:13,408
Doc, flank him on the back!
732
00:33:13,410 --> 00:33:15,578
Waverly, find your position!
733
00:34:10,968 --> 00:34:12,567
Idiots.
734
00:34:27,951 --> 00:34:29,252
Wynonna?
735
00:34:30,087 --> 00:34:31,353
What did I do?
736
00:34:31,355 --> 00:34:33,588
You survived, Nedley.
737
00:34:33,590 --> 00:34:34,823
That's what you did.
738
00:34:34,825 --> 00:34:36,392
You made it home.
739
00:34:39,364 --> 00:34:40,464
Fuck yeah.
740
00:34:46,534 --> 00:34:49,237
Nedley, I'm not coming any closer
741
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:50,439
until you put this on.
742
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,099
There's been enough crime today.
743
00:34:55,936 --> 00:34:57,370
Hey.
744
00:34:59,823 --> 00:35:02,624
- Nicole, what's going on?
- I...
745
00:35:02,626 --> 00:35:05,061
You were not in possession
of your own faculties.
746
00:35:07,631 --> 00:35:09,297
Why do I taste skunk?
747
00:35:09,299 --> 00:35:10,800
That may be me.
748
00:35:12,402 --> 00:35:14,570
That's some intense, brother.
749
00:35:31,010 --> 00:35:32,143
- Dad.
- Chrissy!
750
00:35:32,145 --> 00:35:33,979
Oh, my God. Dad!
751
00:35:34,881 --> 00:35:37,916
Shh, shh.
752
00:35:41,888 --> 00:35:43,622
They told me you were dead.
753
00:35:44,457 --> 00:35:47,693
This stubborn mule? Not yet.
754
00:35:49,162 --> 00:35:51,962
Where were you? What happened?
755
00:35:51,964 --> 00:35:53,297
I really don't remember.
756
00:35:53,299 --> 00:35:56,434
- Ah, might be for the best.
- Might be?
757
00:35:56,436 --> 00:35:58,817
Look, um, we think he'll be fine.
758
00:35:58,819 --> 00:36:01,588
But just for fun, maybe keep
him away from small game.
759
00:36:04,911 --> 00:36:07,078
Wynonna. I don't even know what to say.
760
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:08,280
I know.
761
00:36:09,082 --> 00:36:11,282
It's just, since the evacuation, I...
762
00:36:11,284 --> 00:36:13,919
this place... it got to me and I...
763
00:36:13,921 --> 00:36:16,255
Needed us and got hurt
when we weren't here?
764
00:36:18,291 --> 00:36:20,659
- Yeah.
- It won't happen again.
765
00:36:23,763 --> 00:36:25,197
Hey, you.
766
00:36:29,135 --> 00:36:31,002
It's good to have you back.
767
00:36:40,980 --> 00:36:41,980
Nicole.
768
00:36:43,683 --> 00:36:45,116
You should get Chrissy out of here.
769
00:36:45,118 --> 00:36:46,651
While you still can.
770
00:36:58,297 --> 00:37:00,164
You did the chili cook-off without me?
771
00:37:00,166 --> 00:37:03,401
Dad...
772
00:37:08,608 --> 00:37:11,643
Here I thought all my flirting
was getting me nowhere.
773
00:37:12,545 --> 00:37:14,645
There is more where that came from.
774
00:37:14,647 --> 00:37:18,382
That would get my slacks off in a snap.
775
00:37:18,384 --> 00:37:20,818
'Cause that would be a challenge.
776
00:37:20,820 --> 00:37:23,220
I paid for that truck, and its contents,
777
00:37:23,222 --> 00:37:24,655
and I'll be french-fried
778
00:37:24,657 --> 00:37:27,057
if you're going to sell my
own property back to me.
779
00:37:27,059 --> 00:37:30,443
Except I know where
it is and you do not.
780
00:37:30,445 --> 00:37:32,696
But I suppose I could sell said contents
781
00:37:32,698 --> 00:37:34,365
to the human bar in town...
782
00:37:34,367 --> 00:37:36,868
Let's not get off on the wrong foot.
783
00:37:38,237 --> 00:37:40,738
I also suggest that you acquire
784
00:37:40,740 --> 00:37:43,908
protection for your next
order and that would be,
785
00:37:43,910 --> 00:37:45,943
well, yours truly.
786
00:37:45,945 --> 00:37:48,279
An experienced hand
with local knowledge,
787
00:37:48,281 --> 00:37:52,917
who can then safely convey
said truck right to your...
788
00:37:52,919 --> 00:37:54,619
back door.
789
00:37:55,555 --> 00:37:57,789
What would you require in return?
790
00:37:58,925 --> 00:38:02,060
Something to quench
that vampiric appetite?
791
00:38:02,929 --> 00:38:04,895
When was the last time you fed?
792
00:38:04,897 --> 00:38:06,964
My hunger...
793
00:38:06,966 --> 00:38:08,432
is none of your concern.
794
00:38:08,434 --> 00:38:11,936
What I require is something
more... tangible.
795
00:38:11,938 --> 00:38:13,605
A future favor.
796
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:16,674
And two thousand a load.
797
00:38:16,676 --> 00:38:19,176
That's highway robbery.
798
00:38:19,178 --> 00:38:21,345
Precisely. And at a reasonable cost.
799
00:38:21,347 --> 00:38:24,915
But I assure you, I am the best.
800
00:38:24,917 --> 00:38:26,384
Mm-hmm...
801
00:38:34,894 --> 00:38:36,393
You smell like heaven.
802
00:38:36,395 --> 00:38:37,762
I know.
803
00:38:46,639 --> 00:38:51,543
♪ If you could love me completely ♪
804
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:58,650
♪ If you could show me a sign ♪
805
00:39:01,754 --> 00:39:05,289
Having trouble remembering
where you like these lips.
806
00:39:05,291 --> 00:39:07,526
You seem to be figuring it out.
807
00:39:09,413 --> 00:39:12,081
You know, the garden tried to fool me.
808
00:39:12,999 --> 00:39:15,099
With a fake you.
809
00:39:15,101 --> 00:39:16,734
You didn't...
810
00:39:16,736 --> 00:39:19,503
No. Not even close.
811
00:39:19,505 --> 00:39:21,973
But I would've known in a second.
812
00:39:23,109 --> 00:39:24,843
I know every curve...
813
00:39:26,679 --> 00:39:28,480
every sigh...
814
00:39:29,582 --> 00:39:31,483
every taste...
815
00:39:36,355 --> 00:39:40,090
Wynonna, her midnight
snack, and the pantry door.
816
00:39:40,092 --> 00:39:42,527
She never met a thing she couldn't slam.
817
00:39:44,397 --> 00:39:46,598
Yeah. I guess I'd forgotten.
818
00:39:47,967 --> 00:39:49,867
I love you, Nicole Haught.
819
00:39:49,869 --> 00:39:53,071
And I can't wait for the
rest of our lives to unfold.
820
00:39:58,416 --> 00:40:00,517
Can you tell me about
your year and a half?
821
00:40:02,515 --> 00:40:05,249
I'm sorry, I'm just... distracted.
822
00:40:05,251 --> 00:40:06,984
I gotta go check those traps.
823
00:40:06,986 --> 00:40:08,352
Oh.
824
00:40:08,354 --> 00:40:10,888
Yeah. Okay. Uh...
825
00:40:10,890 --> 00:40:12,457
Can I come with you?
826
00:40:13,793 --> 00:40:15,326
Always.
827
00:40:28,174 --> 00:40:31,475
- Expected date of return?
- Never.
828
00:40:31,477 --> 00:40:34,211
My Dad's birthday is in
August. Might surprise him.
829
00:40:34,213 --> 00:40:36,047
I have to get my supervisor.
830
00:40:46,926 --> 00:40:48,593
You're cleared to go.
831
00:40:51,097 --> 00:40:52,831
They're back.
832
00:41:07,521 --> 00:41:11,101
I'll move out to the barn,
now that everyone's back.
833
00:41:11,103 --> 00:41:13,570
- Which is good.
- Take the bed.
834
00:41:13,572 --> 00:41:15,339
You've earned it, kid.
835
00:41:15,341 --> 00:41:16,841
Besides...
836
00:41:18,077 --> 00:41:19,911
I'm better in the cold.
837
00:41:21,180 --> 00:41:24,047
Okay, Jon Snow in a B cup.
838
00:41:24,049 --> 00:41:25,984
And I'm not a kid, Wynonna.
839
00:41:28,587 --> 00:41:30,455
Why'd you leave Monument?
840
00:41:31,557 --> 00:41:34,216
When you're a person who's
gone through some stuff,
841
00:41:34,218 --> 00:41:36,620
and you see somebody else,
who's a good person,
842
00:41:36,622 --> 00:41:38,256
also going through some stuff...
843
00:41:39,531 --> 00:41:40,999
How bad is Nicole?
844
00:41:42,344 --> 00:41:45,446
She was alone for a really long time.
845
00:41:48,379 --> 00:41:50,314
Well, thanks for taking
care of my friend,
846
00:41:50,316 --> 00:41:52,399
Rachel Valdez.
847
00:41:52,401 --> 00:41:55,336
Thank you for noticing, Wynonna Earp.
848
00:41:55,338 --> 00:41:57,272
Oh, the Earp heir.
849
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,200
Listen. My bed, yeah.
850
00:42:06,202 --> 00:42:08,402
My leather pants, no.
851
00:42:08,404 --> 00:42:10,071
Pfft, please.
852
00:42:10,073 --> 00:42:12,553
I wouldn't be seen wearing these
in front of the skunks I milk.
853
00:42:15,011 --> 00:42:17,279
Your fringed leather jacket, though...
854
00:42:18,900 --> 00:42:21,101
Don't push your luck, Smalldez.
855
00:42:22,385 --> 00:42:24,686
- Good night.
- Good night, Wynonna.
856
00:42:32,862 --> 00:42:35,763
- Hello, chaps!
- Hands up.
857
00:42:35,765 --> 00:42:38,433
Like I said: so good to be home.
858
00:42:59,327 --> 00:43:02,327
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
858
00:43:03,305 --> 00:44:03,886
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