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1
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,016
You know, I do, I do
want to get better.
2
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:13,736
So, you... you'll be starting tomorrow,
but the father wants to meet you first.
3
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:14,896
- Hi.
- Hi.
4
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:17,896
It's actually my, uh, son
that... Who needs tutoring.
5
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:19,016
Hello, Etienne.
6
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:20,536
RICHARD: His mother
died recently.
7
00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:22,216
What about you and
children, Vish?
8
00:00:22,240 --> 00:00:24,256
I want what Shona wants.
9
00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:27,016
I want to set up a kind of
client networking event.
10
00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,056
- What would you want me to do?
- Just set it up with me.
11
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:30,656
- Change the world, baby.
- Okay!
12
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:33,240
Can't a woman not bake a
cake for a gentleman friend?
13
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:37,976
VISH: I love you, Shona,
14
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,976
and I would like for the two of
us to spend our lives together.
15
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,096
AINE: Hey, do you wanna...
do you wanna hear a joke?
16
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,496
How many therapists does it
take to change a light bulb?
17
00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:49,296
One. But the light bulb has
to really want to change.
18
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:50,840
THERAPIST: Hmm.
19
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,416
SHONA: [sighs] I'm
already relaxed.
20
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:56,496
Do you want some water?
21
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:59,136
This is actually not as hot as
the reviews say. It's quite nice.
22
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,296
- Yeah.
- Lovely.
23
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,296
My hairdresser said
it cleared up her acne
24
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:04,856
- for a week.
- Oh, my God. Brilliant.
25
00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,376
It's a bit like, um, a confession
booth, but less creepy.
26
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,056
- Yeah.
- "Give us all your bad thoughts there now",
27
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,936
and I'll look after
them for ya." [laughs]
28
00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:13,736
I suppose that's what
therapy is, really.
29
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,776
Oh, my God. Priests were the
original free therapists for people.
30
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,296
Oh, people. God love people.
31
00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:20,576
- God love people.
- Oh, I meant to tell you.
32
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,896
- Thinking about getting a fringe.
- What? Why? You okay?
33
00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:24,136
Are you unhappy about moving in?
34
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:25,896
Aine, we're getting
married in two months.
35
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:29,016
- Don't be stupid.
- Okay, and you're happy?
36
00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,496
Why're you asking me that?
37
00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,216
Yes, I'm happy!
38
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,456
Just fancy the fringe.
39
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:36,856
[exhales]
40
00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,736
I was actually just
thinking how lucky I am
41
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,456
- to be with Vish.
- Oh.
42
00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:43,256
Yeah, and moving in proves.
43
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,456
Proves what to who? Judge Judy?
44
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,856
- I didn't say proves. I...
- You did!
45
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,616
I meant "shows." Like
46
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,536
you know, you have to
show, in, in life, and...
47
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:55,016
- Can you stop interrupting me?
- You interrupt me all the time.
48
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,136
Shut up. You have
to show in life,
49
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,816
if you're, you know, if you're
either in or you're out,
50
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:03,096
and I'm, I'm out. In. I'm in.
51
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:04,360
I'm in.
52
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,376
[gasps] Do I get
keys for Vish's?
53
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:10,976
- Huh, yeah. 'Course.
- I mean, it's his house, but...
54
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,256
- Yeah, I mean, it's your home, too.
- Oh, did he say that?
55
00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:14,416
- Yeah.
- Oh.
56
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,736
Well, no, but that's
what he thinks.
57
00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:19,560
I mean, I'll hardly be there,
'cause it's so far out of London.
58
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,936
It's 20 minutes
on the Overground.
59
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:26,176
- And there's heated flooring.
- [sighs] Twenty minutes.
60
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,016
God, that'll take
me ages. [laughs]
61
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,176
Do you really need
help packing tomorrow?
62
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,496
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
63
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,536
I literally do
everything for you.
64
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,096
AINE: Oh, God, I was joking.
SHONA: You only have to ask...
65
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,456
AINE: And I've got my big date with
Richard tomorrow, so... SHONA: Oh, God.
66
00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,016
- Mmm...
- No, I don't want your opinion.
67
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:41,880
I'm really excited about
it. So don't. Shut up.
68
00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:46,056
- Ooh.
- [sighs] I can feel it now. It's.
69
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:47,656
- Yeah. It's just a little hot.
- Hot.
70
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,056
- It's grand though. It's nice.
- Yeah. Yeah.
71
00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:51,496
AINE: God, I look
like a fuckin' pig.
72
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,976
- Ugh.
- Just keep your face up to the lights.
73
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,416
- It's antibacterial.
- Oh, yeah.
74
00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:00,296
SHONA: I hate my
skin. It's disgusting.
75
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:01,656
I wish we were Spanish.
76
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,696
- Ow!
- Oh, sorry. My toe just went in your gash.
77
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,536
- Oh, God.
- Sorry. Hang on.
78
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:07,736
Oh, pfft.
79
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,616
BOTH: Hail Mary, full of
grace, the Lord is with thee.
80
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,896
Blessed art thou among women, and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
81
00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:14,176
Hail Mary, mother of God, pray for us
sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
82
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:15,696
- Okay. That's the time.
- Time.
83
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,696
[Shona slurps] AINE: Oh, my
God. You slurp so loudly.
84
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,240
- Just look... look how quietly I can drink.
- Shh!
85
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:24,016
You see?
86
00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:26,456
Oh... Oh...
87
00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:29,776
It's like some kind
of Nazi experiment.
88
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,840
Just keep going. [Aine groans]
89
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,936
SHONA: Give it to me now.
Give it to me. [groans, gulps]
90
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:37,960
Give it to me!
91
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:41,960
[laughs, sighs]
92
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,480
Just one minute left.
93
00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:47,936
- I'm dying. Aine.
- What?
94
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:53,376
Aah! Aah. Shona. [Cries]
95
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,096
- Oh! Oh, God.
- Oh, thank fuck for that.
96
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:57,816
[both groaning]
97
00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,096
Open the...
98
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,640
Oh! ♪ Pop music playing ♪
99
00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:04,256
AINE: You don't
understand. It is not weird
100
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,736
I am going to say goodbye to
Etienne at the station, Shona.
101
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,416
Can you just go easy on that?
102
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,896
- It's forty quid a bottle.
- Please, sir, can I have some more?
103
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:13,936
It's cooling my face, and we
look like a pair of clowns.
104
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,656
And anyways, he asked me to go
to the station to say goodbye.
105
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,976
It's the first time he's going back
to France since his mother died,
106
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,296
so I'm actually
being a good person.
107
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,056
Oh, such a good person you're
gonna sleep with his dad
108
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,296
- as soon as he gets on the train.
- No.
109
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,376
Going to at least wait until he
crosses over into France. Ha, ha.
110
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,136
Can you just dab it lightly?
111
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,696
I'm dabbing lightly.
112
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,656
You know what? It'd
be nice to be in bed
113
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:38,656
with someone at night other
than my pile of shit boyfriend.
114
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,696
What pile of shit
boyfriend? Freddie?
115
00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,536
- No. Freddie. No.
- Just, like, the pile of shit.
116
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:45,376
There's a pile of shit on
the other side of my bed.
117
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,816
Like a laptop, hairbrushes,
a belt. I don't know.
118
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:51,136
And it's all rolled
like a sausage roll,
119
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,216
into the place where
a person should be.
120
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:55,976
And I actually... I actually
can't take it anymore.
121
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,976
Just clear it off your bed.
122
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,576
It'd be nice to have a
reason to clear it off.
123
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,536
- It's not that easy.
- Oh. I just hate sad men,
124
00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,896
using their sadness,
like their dead wives.
125
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:07,976
- She wasn't his wife. She was the woman that he got pregnant...
- To manipulate women.
126
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,896
- That he barely spoke to...
- You know, we all fall for it. Men love young models.
127
00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:14,456
Women love old, sad
men. It's so stupid.
128
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,016
Thank you for calling
me a young model.
129
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:18,736
- Look at my nose.
- Look at my actual whole face.
130
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:22,216
- Okay, I gotta go.
- Ooh! Me, too. Yes, okay. Um...
131
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,616
- Thanks for the sauna. I love you. Bye!
- Love you.
132
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,400
You!
133
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,576
♪ Funk music playing ♪
134
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:32,256
Whoo!
135
00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:33,376
Hi!
136
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,176
- Did you burn your face?
- RICHARD: Did you run here?
137
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,176
Oh, no. It's... Oh, no. I, um,
138
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:38,656
no, I was in a sauna
with my sister.
139
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:42,376
Which is not half as, um,
"hot sisters" as it sounds.
140
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:46,296
So... [laughs] - Oh. That's
okay. I'm, uh, more into cousins.
141
00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,376
Um... [clears throat]
Désolé, uh, this is Aine.
142
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,256
- This is Roman, who is, uh, Etienne's chaperone for the trip.
- Bonjour, ma'am.
143
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:54,696
Désolé. Get Rosetta
Stone over here.
144
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,096
[laughs] Um, and,
145
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:57,736
please look after him.
He's very precious to us.
146
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,096
- I'm not a baby.
- I can have gone on my own.
147
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:03,096
But then you would have looked
like a sad little Harry Potter
148
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,776
on the train on your
own. So... [laughs]
149
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,456
Well, you want to say
goodbye to your parents?
150
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:08,337
- Oh, I'm, I'm not his...
- RICHARD: She's not
151
00:06:08,361 --> 00:06:10,936
[speaking French]
152
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,720
Oh, désolé.
153
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:15,296
Yes. So, um...
154
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,976
A-and also I'm... [speaks
French]. Too young.
155
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,256
It would have been one of those
town scandal pregnancies, you know?
156
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,016
Right. Does that make me old?
157
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,936
- Aged, Richard.
- Oh, okay.
158
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:26,376
More like a chee...
like a cheddar.
159
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:27,496
- You know, like an aged cheddar.
- Oh.
160
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,656
I was really hoping you were
gonna say a nice bottle of wine.
161
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,496
- [Aine laughs]
- Guys,
162
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:32,536
le train.
163
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,296
- Sorry. Sorry. Um...
- [Richard clears throat]
164
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,056
Bye, Dad.
165
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,576
Okay. Bye.
166
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:38,920
Uh, yeah.
167
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,400
Okay. Good.
168
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,320
Oh! Um... [chuckles]
169
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,040
Aw. [Chuckles]
170
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:50,576
[Etienne speaking French]
171
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:52,376
AINE: Bye! Bye!
172
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,856
RICHARD: Bye. Bye-bye. AINE:
Bye, guys. Bye, Etienne!
173
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,736
- Bye.
- Bye!
174
00:06:57,760 --> 00:06:59,416
Bye, Etienne!
175
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:00,880
Bye!
176
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:06,216
I feel like we're, um, actors
in a 1970s studio sitcom.
177
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:09,336
[laughs] 'Cause we have to wave
over the credits till it ends.
178
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,056
Bye! [Chuckles]
179
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:12,856
Production designer. Costume.
180
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,576
- Uh, bye! [Laughs] Are you okay?
- Ugh.
181
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,640
[chattering, laughing]
182
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,856
Ugh. [Both laughing]
183
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:27,256
- Oh, he's, uh... Where's he gone?
- Oh!
184
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,936
Is he... RICHARD:
Is he definitely
185
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,176
I think he is.
186
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,216
Okay, um...
187
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,080
Yep, maybe if we, uh...
188
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,440
AINE: Hmm.
189
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:43,736
I have to go to work.
190
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,336
- I really, I'm running late.
- I know, I know. I know.
191
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:46,736
- I will, um... Okay.
- Okay.
192
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:49,176
- I will see you tomorrow night.
- Yes.
193
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,056
- I'm cooking. So, um...
- Blech.
194
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,616
Get excited. [Laughs]
195
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:53,577
- Okay.
- Okay.
196
00:07:53,601 --> 00:07:54,616
- Bye. Bye-bye-bye.
- Okay. Bye!
197
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:55,920
BOTH: Bye! Bye!
198
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,696
SHONA: Morning, Judy.
199
00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:03,160
Do you have... Thank you.
200
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,976
- Have you been drinking?
- What?
201
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,960
Oh, no. I was, um,
at a sauna for lunch.
202
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,696
Whoo. Eating lunch in a sauna.
203
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:14,720
No.
204
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,400
No, I wasn't[groans]
205
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,000
[phone ringing]
206
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:25,616
Thanks so much, but I can't
actually make that date,
207
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,056
as much as I'd love to
celebrate your big day.
208
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,296
- SHONA: Oh, shit. I don't know why that...
- Delighted to be invited, though.
209
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:34,120
I... Oh, fuck.
210
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,776
♪
211
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,496
ANNOUNCER [on TV]: Maura and Tom have
hit it off, so I'm calling them "Mom."
212
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,776
And can I just say wasn't it
nice earlier watching "Mom"
213
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,536
get a bit of tongue
action? [phone vibrates]
214
00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:51,576
Oh, God, that's certainly wrong.
215
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,576
WOMAN [on TV]: How are
you? MAN [on TV]: Good.
216
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,376
I feel like we've
moved on a bit. Yeah?
217
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,656
[phone bloops] It's nice
that I feel comfortable
218
00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:00,376
doing this now. WOMAN
[on TV]: I know.
219
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,256
[chattering over
TV] [phone vibrates]
220
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:06,440
[chatter, laughter
continues on TV]
221
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,816
WOMAN [on TV]: You know, I think
the confidence is coming out a bit.
222
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,496
Well, not a bit, actually.
A lot. [phone bloops]
223
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,176
Which is really, really
good, because obviously,
224
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:16,456
I like a confident man.
225
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,320
Things are going really well.
226
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:22,760
♪
227
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,040
[distant passionate
moaning] [rhythmic creaking]
228
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,560
[Aine groans]
229
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,920
[moaning continues]
230
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,400
Oh, come on, mate.
231
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,616
[sighs, groans]
232
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,096
[distant moaning continues]
233
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,976
VISH: No, of course.
It's your home now, too.
234
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,216
But just, the stuff
that gets nailed, maybe
235
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,656
we can just discuss
what goes where,
236
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,256
when I get back?
237
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:57,096
Yeah, no, of course. I mean, it's
just obvious this was perfect here.
238
00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:58,736
But, you know, anything else,
239
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:01,056
like big structural changes,
I-I'll check with you.
240
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,856
Um... [chuckles]
241
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,696
[laughs] I'm joking, you idiot.
242
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:07,320
[laughs] Okay.
243
00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:13,760
Fuck off! Oh, my God.
244
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:18,256
SHONA: [sighs] Oh, yeah.
Listen, just quickly,
245
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:21,816
um, did you send,
um, save the dates?
246
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,416
Yeah. I mean, I didn't
send one to Aine
247
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:24,976
because I thought it'd
be a waste of post.
248
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:29,096
Oh, not that. It's just, um,
some people at work, uh, got one.
249
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,856
- People? I just sent one to Charlotte.
- She's on your list. Right?
250
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,896
Yeah, I just thought keep
numbers to friends and family,
251
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:37,216
and, and maybe that
and, and stuff like that
252
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:40,216
we can also do together.
253
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,176
Yeah. Course. Yeah,
yeah. Sorry. Yeah.
254
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,616
Don't say sorry. [Knocking]
255
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:47,640
Oh. Door.
256
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:50,696
[gasps]
257
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,536
[dramatically]: I have
traveled land and sea,
258
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:56,936
across the Serengeti just
to be here, but here I am.
259
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,376
- It's far, isn't it?
- [normal voice]: So far.
260
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,256
- VISH [over computer]: Okay, it's not that far.
- Oh, my God.
261
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,896
VISH [over computer]: And, and shoes.
I got, I got slippers by the bench.
262
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,416
You even got your creepy
little robot butler.
263
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,656
[laughs] Don't put on
Vish's moccasins, though,
264
00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:10,816
'cause they make my
vagina [sucking sound].
265
00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:14,400
Blech. VISH [over computer]: Those
moccasins were my grandmother's, thank you.
266
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,096
[gasps] Ooh! [Laughs]
267
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,336
- Heated floor! [Gasps]
- It's nuts, isn't it?
268
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,656
- Oh, and look. Look at this.
- [gasps] Heated floors!
269
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,336
Oh, oh, yes!
270
00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:25,256
Oh, yeah!
271
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:26,856
VISH [over computer]: It's like
you've never been warm before.
272
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,496
- Aah-ha-ha-ha!
- Right?
273
00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:30,936
- Yes!
- It's great when you've got your period
274
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,536
'cause then the whole floor's
like a hot water bottle.
275
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:33,976
- Oh, lovely.
- It's so lovely.
276
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,016
Oh, my God. We can
make heat angels.
277
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:38,096
Look! [Both laugh]
278
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:39,296
VISH [over computer]:
Heated floors, baby!
279
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,336
See, this is why it's
worth moving out.
280
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,856
- Oh, no, it's just too far.
- It's not worth moving for that alone.
281
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:45,936
- It's too far.
- It's so far out.
282
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,856
Oh, my God.
283
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,616
Is that your
motherfucking garden?
284
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:52,056
SHONA: Yeah. AINE: Oh!
285
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:55,216
- It's motherfucking massive.
- Whoo!
286
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,216
SHONA: So, come here, can I just put
everything where I think it should go?
287
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:02,336
Yeah, I mean, uh, most of it just
go-goes in the cupboards, really.
288
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:06,336
Yeah, but I meant more like,
you know, like, display items.
289
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:07,616
Like[laughs]
290
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,696
- VISH [over computer]: Like what?
- Like, um,
291
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:12,336
like, I think I should
leave out the egg duck.
292
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,376
'Cause then it's just
really easy to access eggs,
293
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,096
- you know, 'cause they're just...
- Mmm!
294
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,016
They're in the duck. See?
295
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,376
[Aine groaning over phone]
296
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,896
Oh, my God, it's
Baltic. My nips.
297
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:26,256
Hey, babe, show her
the, uh, little baby me.
298
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:27,936
Oh, yeah! Oh, my God.
299
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,856
Oh, I knew you wanted
babies really, Vish.
300
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,536
[Shona laughing] Oh, my God!
301
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,056
It's like a war crime.
302
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,776
- What are you gonna do with that?
- Aw.
303
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,136
I'm gonna snuggle. [Both laugh]
304
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:41,576
Or I might open up the
stitching at the back and
305
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:42,936
[laughs]
306
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,576
Oh, Vish. [Groans]
307
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,056
Oh, brother, no. Please,
brother! [Shona laughing]
308
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,616
[laughs]
309
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,336
- It's so handy he's got two faces.
- Oh, yeah.
310
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,096
- 'Cause he can do you.
- Yeah.
311
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,296
Cunnilingi me. Ana-lingi you!
312
00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:56,976
[Aine and Vish laughing]
313
00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,456
Wish I was there. Strangely.
314
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,160
- Well, I'm all cleaned out.
- Thank you very much.
315
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,256
How much more have
you got left, Shona?
316
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:09,936
SHONA: Why? What
time is your date?
317
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,320
AINE: Eight o'clock. It's going
to take me ages to get back.
318
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:16,136
[sighs] God. Hey,
can I have that, um,
319
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,176
egg duck, if it doesn't
stay at the house?
320
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,176
No. Granny gave it
to me. It's mine.
321
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,536
Yeah, but it looks stupid here.
322
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:23,696
It doesn't look
stupid. You're stupid.
323
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,096
- What?
- And you picked the Spanish tin.
324
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:29,536
- I know, but...
- God, why did I pick the Spanish tin?
325
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:32,456
Just like, listen, okay?
326
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,776
You're essentially planning on
sleeping with your boss tonight.
327
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,136
Which isn't great
as a plan. [groans]
328
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,336
I mean, what would
your therapist say?
329
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,736
My therapist has already said,
in no uncertain medical terms,
330
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,336
"Well, bitch, you go, girl. You
catch yourself some sweet D tonight.
331
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,896
'Cause honey, life is short,
and you are fabulous."
332
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:51,896
- That's what she said.
- I was being serious, but
333
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,216
you're obviously
dying to go, so just.
334
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,136
Shona.
335
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,336
God, you know what?
336
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,496
Sometimes you can just go so
long without being touched.
337
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,736
Just go on an app, Aine.
338
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:04,376
Yeah. I'll just go
on an app and say,
339
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:08,456
"Hey, guys. I'm lonely. Touch
me." And see where that gets me.
340
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,096
I really like him, Shona.
341
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,976
You know, sometimes you talk
like you're the only one
342
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,240
who's ever sad. It's annoying.
343
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,177
Are you all right?
344
00:14:19,201 --> 00:14:20,976
You said you wanted to get a
fringe earlier, and it worried me.
345
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:24,000
What? I'm fine. Shut up.
346
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,776
Oh, hello, your old bodhráin.
347
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,776
Excusez moi.
348
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,760
[laughs]
349
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,616
Oh, my God. Has there
ever been a better idea
350
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:40,816
than we were gonna call
our band "The Corrs-Lite?"
351
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:41,737
[Shona laughs]
352
00:14:41,761 --> 00:14:44,936
Yeah, but that was one of those, "You'd
never live up to the name" ideas.
353
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,456
[drumming] That's
a horrible sound.
354
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:50,000
[indistinct muttering]
355
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,280
[drumming]
356
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,720
[Aine humming]
357
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,576
- [drumming continues]
- God, you genuinely are so good at that.
358
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:01,976
Yeah, I know.
359
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,840
[drumming continues]
360
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:08,056
♪ Oh, Ireland, oh, Ireland,
you've taken away ♪
361
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:11,056
- ♪ The pain and the freedom of... ♪
- No, stop. You're putting me off.
362
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,616
Sorry. [Drumming stops]
363
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,416
You, you've put me off.
364
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,536
- Right. I'm off to get laid. Whoo!
- Uh,
365
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,016
you're vile.
366
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:20,096
Use a condom. You
know he's fertile.
367
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,096
Well, yes. I always
wear protection.
368
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,240
Especially in this
wet weather. Ha!
369
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,296
I love you. Do you love
me? Goodbye. I love you.
370
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:29,976
- Do you love me?
- No.
371
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,256
- Do you love me?
- I love you! I love you.
372
00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:34,536
[drumming] ♪ I love you, I do ♪
373
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,696
♪ I love you, I love
you, I love you... ♪
374
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:39,856
- [laughs] Ha, ha!
- Bye!
375
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,240
Go away!
376
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,880
♪
377
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:02,360
- [door slams]
- Ooh. Oh[sighs]
378
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,376
[shower water runs] Oh, feck!
379
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:06,880
[groans]
380
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:09,736
[laughs]
381
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,856
- Ooh!
- You're disgusting.
382
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,616
- Oh, I'm sorry!
- I thought you were in the shower,
383
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,496
or, um, having
sex in the shower.
384
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,896
- Ugh!
- I'm sorry. It's just my processes take ages,
385
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,896
- and I'm really running late, so...
- Processes? Oh, my God.
386
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:22,296
You gonna suck a dick tonight?
387
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:23,896
Bradley! [Bradley laughs]
388
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:25,536
- Probably?
- Probably.
389
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,096
[laughs] Oh, my God. I mean,
390
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,496
I'll probably talk too much and
he'll, like, throw me out, anyways.
391
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,496
Now, you see that?
Don't do that.
392
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:33,936
- What? What, what, what?
- That. That shitting on yourself.
393
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,856
It's just so
boring. I hate that.
394
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,936
Oh. I mean, I was joking,
but, yes, okay, I'm fabulous,
395
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,536
and he's gonna want to marry me,
396
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,216
and then you can turn the spare room
into a sex dungeon, or whatever you want.
397
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,656
Mmm. Kinky. But
no, I'd miss, uh,
398
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,096
this bullshit too much.
399
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,016
Uh, I'm genuinely very ashamed.
400
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:50,656
But also, it's
burning, and I need...
401
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:52,136
- So, off.
- Yeah. Get that off.
402
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,576
And please use
protection, Catholic one.
403
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,960
Wow. I'm gonna go and have
sex with a man. [Screams]
404
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,000
- [banging on door]
- Ooh! Oh.
405
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,920
♪ Lively fiddle music
plays over speakers ♪
406
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,016
[clatters]
407
00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:15,560
[banging on door] Oh, shit.
408
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:25,416
Oh, my God.
409
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,256
- You really shat me up.
- Sorry, I got stuck in traffic,
410
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,776
and this place is the
bloody wilderness.
411
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,056
- [laughs] Yeah.
- Can I just
412
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,216
I feel like my arms are gonna
come out of their sockets.
413
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:35,456
- Oh, yeah, yeah. Come in, come in.
- Thank you.
414
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,936
Oh, also, um, Mum
begged me to ask you
415
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,896
not to use the microwavable
rice packets with them, [laughs]
416
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,696
because it's, um, a waste.
417
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,136
"Vaste" of all your
hard-earned cash. [laughs]
418
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,816
And, um, you should just
buy a 70-ton bulk bag. So...
419
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:50,656
She said she can
send you the links.
420
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:54,016
- Bless her.
- Okay, I'll get the 70-ton bulk bag,
421
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,776
if it's microwavable.
[both laugh]
422
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:58,720
- Yum!
- Mmm.
423
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,536
Do you want to stay for dinner?
424
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,056
You must be tired
from the driving.
425
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,480
Oh, um, I mean...
426
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,096
I'm not a long-distance
lorry driver.
427
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:11,376
I don't legally need to take naps
every four hours or anything.
428
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,656
[laughs] No, no. I
just, um, you know.
429
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:18,536
You know what? We've
never hung out, you and I.
430
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:22,376
- Yeah, no.
- Uh, well, we never needed to.
431
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,896
- Yeah, just, we should, is all.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
432
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,616
Uh, I-I have a pub quiz
with the boys tonight, so...
433
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,016
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
- Not, not tonight.
434
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,976
- Not tonight. Just, um...
- Yeah. Are you, are you, you okay?
435
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,296
You haven't put the... You
haven't put the stick down.
436
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,936
Oh! [Laughs] It's,
um, it's a drumstick.
437
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,336
- It's for my, um, bodhráin drum.
- Oh. Oh, cool.
438
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,240
I can play it for you if you...
439
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:46,696
Do you know what? You should go.
440
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,816
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you should.
- I would love to hear that.
441
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,240
- Yeah. Another time. Another time.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
442
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,216
RICHARD: Should I, uh, should
I put some music on, or.
443
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,536
What, some, like,
traditional Irish music?
444
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,496
- Hmm?
- I was wondering if you were gonna make jokes about this.
445
00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:03,856
- Oh, sorry.
- No, that's good.
446
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,656
It's, uh, it's nice to laugh.
447
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,280
Mmm. Mmm.
448
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:09,576
- Christ.
- Oh, what?
449
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,296
I just heard myself,
"It's nice to laugh."
450
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,536
Oh. [Laughs] There's a hot
new take there, Richard.
451
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,016
[laughs]
452
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,656
[moans] [Richard groans]
453
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:19,760
- One second.
- Oh.
454
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:24,480
Hmm. [Richard sighs]
455
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,240
[keyboard keys clicking]
456
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:03,296
When did you first know
you fancied me? [Laughs]
457
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:06,616
Um, uh, the first time you
went upstairs to see Etienne
458
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,096
in one of your little skirts.
459
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:10,616
- Mr. Kirby.
- That's my work uniform.
460
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,296
- Office?
- Yeah. [Laughs]
461
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:14,760
[groans]
462
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,600
[passionate groaning]
463
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,160
Oh...
464
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:31,136
- Uh, sorry. Might just take a few, um...
- No, no, no, that's fine.
465
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,936
- Yeah.
- Just, um... Yeah.
466
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,416
Do you want...
Can I do anything?
467
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,736
Um, no, no. Um, sorry.
468
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:41,336
- Maybe I did need some traditional Irish music after all.
- [laughs] Oh!
469
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:44,336
- I mean, I could still sing you something. You know.
- Right.
470
00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:46,856
Uh, there's one
song about this time
471
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,136
when the British soldiers
were fucking awful in Cork.
472
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,216
It was a horn guarantee so...
473
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,040
Yeah. [Laughs]
474
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,200
Um...
475
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,016
Do you mind if, uh,
could we change it up.
476
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:01,936
- Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
- I just, um... Yeah.
477
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,576
Yeah. Maybe you could, like.
478
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,336
- No, no. No.
- No? If we...
479
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:07,120
- Oh...
- I just, um...
480
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,576
Oh, no, no, no. You
don't have to...
481
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,096
- No, no, no, no. Honestly, you don't.
- Please, please, please?
482
00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:14,896
- I want to. I want to. If that's okay.
- Oh...
483
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:18,056
- Oh, I mean, absolutely. Obviously, yeah, but, um...
- Okay.
484
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:21,200
- Yeah, I just feel a bit guilty, so, yeah. Okay.
- No, no.
485
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,696
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
486
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:26,976
- Yeah?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
487
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,256
- There?
- Oh, yeah. Yes.
488
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,056
Yes. Yep, yep.
489
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,256
Ooh. Aah.
490
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,496
Jesus Christ.
Fuckin' hell. Jesus.
491
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,216
Oh, ho, ho...
492
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,000
[moaning]
493
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,440
[moaning increases]
494
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,320
[rhythmic moaning increases]
495
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,600
[sobbing]
496
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,936
[crying]
497
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,336
Honey, did I hurt you?
498
00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:07,320
No. God, I'm so sorry.
499
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:09,696
Sorry.
500
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,856
Oh, God, that was lovely.
501
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,936
- Honey, I'm, I'm trying to work out...
- Oh, gosh.
502
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,936
I just think it was just like...
503
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,256
It's really like... Ooh.
504
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:21,456
Like pure, pure
505
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,576
hit of happiness and
then just having.
506
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,840
So, like, like, good?
507
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,256
Oh... Uh...
508
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,416
I don't think I've ever
heard so many Jesuses.
509
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,976
- Mmm, yeah.
- Sorry to talk about my ex in bed.
510
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,280
[laughs]
511
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,120
♪ "Oh What A Feeling" by
Mystery Skulls playing ♪
512
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:53,856
♪ Oh what a feeling, every
single time I'm with you baby ♪
513
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:57,776
♪ Hooked on your loveliness, it's
so surreal it leaves me hazy ♪
514
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:02,800
♪ When I look in your eyes it's
truly clear, it's got to be love ♪
515
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:09,736
♪ Oh what a feeling,
is it real enough ♪
516
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:13,776
♪ Oh what a feeling,
is it really love ♪
517
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:17,856
♪ Oh what a feeling,
am I strong enough ♪
518
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:21,296
♪ Oh what a feeling,
is it really love ♪
519
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:25,136
♪ What a feeling, with you ♪
520
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:30,736
♪ When I love you,
got to be real and ♪
521
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,760
♪ With you ♪
40256
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