All language subtitles for My Family - s08ep04 - The Wax Job

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,687 --> 00:00:03,281 You see, Olivia, look, there's nothing to worry about. 2 00:00:03,327 --> 00:00:07,161 Just a little cleaning, that's all, isn't it, Mummy? A little cleaning. 3 00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:08,959 So, come on, come on, open wide. 4 00:00:11,287 --> 00:00:12,686 Give me the teddy. 5 00:00:13,687 --> 00:00:15,086 Come on, come on. 6 00:00:16,927 --> 00:00:20,442 All right, there you see, Mr Teddy likes his teeth cleaned. 7 00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:25,436 Don't you, Mr Teddy? Oh, I love my teeth cleaned. I love my teeth cleaned. 8 00:00:25,487 --> 00:00:29,480 You see, look. Look, there's nothing to worry about. 9 00:00:29,527 --> 00:00:32,519 There. Oh, look, he's loving that. 10 00:00:41,567 --> 00:00:43,797 It's all right. There you are. 11 00:00:43,847 --> 00:00:45,678 There. 12 00:01:02,087 --> 00:01:04,362 #... funny... # A-ha! 13 00:01:04,407 --> 00:01:06,398 - How did you hear? - Hear what? 14 00:01:06,447 --> 00:01:08,517 My big news. 15 00:01:08,567 --> 00:01:10,000 I have big news. 16 00:01:10,047 --> 00:01:13,005 - Yeah, well, let me tell you mine. - No, I want to tell you mine. 17 00:01:13,047 --> 00:01:14,924 I think we're gonna have a problem. 18 00:01:14,967 --> 00:01:17,117 - Let's toss for it. - OK, let's toss. 19 00:01:17,167 --> 00:01:18,566 - Heads or tails? - Heads. 20 00:01:18,607 --> 00:01:21,121 I became manager of the art gallery today. 21 00:01:21,167 --> 00:01:23,556 - You didn't look at it. - I couldn't wait to tell you. 22 00:01:23,607 --> 00:01:26,997 I won't bore you with the details, but let's just say, it's more money. 23 00:01:27,047 --> 00:01:30,278 Oh, really? More money? Well, that compliments mine, my dear. 24 00:01:30,327 --> 00:01:33,444 My big news is, I'm quitting my job. 25 00:01:33,487 --> 00:01:34,886 What? 26 00:01:34,927 --> 00:01:37,600 I'm selling my practice to the Cavitex Corporation. 27 00:01:37,647 --> 00:01:41,117 The ones with the adverts with Bristles, that stupid singing bear? 28 00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:45,319 Listen, my darling, that stupid bear is gonna bring us a whole shedload of money. 29 00:01:45,367 --> 00:01:46,766 Ho-ho-ho. 30 00:01:47,527 --> 00:01:49,199 Enough for you to retire? 31 00:01:49,247 --> 00:01:53,320 Well, no, we'll have to bodge it a bit, but you know, hey, there are positives. 32 00:01:53,367 --> 00:01:54,766 Like what? 33 00:01:54,807 --> 00:01:56,365 I won't have to do anything. 34 00:01:57,727 --> 00:02:01,356 And I'm practically stealing from the Cavitex Corporation in the first place. 35 00:02:01,407 --> 00:02:03,637 And you, you'll be earning more money, won't you? 36 00:02:03,687 --> 00:02:08,522 - Yes. - Eh, remember, Mrs Manager? 37 00:02:10,247 --> 00:02:13,159 This has come pretty quickly. You've only been there three months. 38 00:02:13,207 --> 00:02:14,845 - Two years. - Two years. 39 00:02:15,527 --> 00:02:18,519 Still, I suppose it means you can spend more time with the family. 40 00:02:18,567 --> 00:02:20,239 True, but that shouldn't stop me. 41 00:02:21,887 --> 00:02:23,798 - Here's to me. - Here's to us. 42 00:02:23,847 --> 00:02:25,405 Here's to us. 43 00:02:28,287 --> 00:02:34,601 Does this jacket say sophistication or is it too artsy? 44 00:02:34,647 --> 00:02:37,957 It screams sophistication with just the right amount of artsy. 45 00:02:38,007 --> 00:02:42,159 I want to strike a balance between artistic and powerful. 46 00:02:42,207 --> 00:02:45,517 It needs to say "I'm in charge, but not bossy." 47 00:02:45,567 --> 00:02:47,444 Your jacket has many personalities. 48 00:02:47,487 --> 00:02:50,559 Stop worrying. Your jacket didn't get the promotion, you did. 49 00:02:50,607 --> 00:02:52,359 All right, all right. 50 00:02:52,407 --> 00:02:54,125 So, not bossy, then? 51 00:02:55,487 --> 00:02:57,682 - Quickly! - No, not bossy. 52 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,405 Mum told us about you retiring. 53 00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:03,915 So, where you off to, Spain, South of France? 54 00:03:03,967 --> 00:03:05,685 I'll be here. 55 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:08,321 Oh, didn't invest wisely. 56 00:03:09,647 --> 00:03:12,559 What will you do with all your free time? 57 00:03:12,607 --> 00:03:15,758 I've... decided on a hobby. 58 00:03:16,887 --> 00:03:20,675 - What hobby? - Mm, promise not to laugh? 59 00:03:20,727 --> 00:03:22,126 I promise. 60 00:03:22,167 --> 00:03:26,922 I'm going to paint... the model figurines of famous battles. 61 00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:31,078 Sorry, go on. 62 00:03:32,767 --> 00:03:35,486 And I'm gonna build dioramas to put the figures on. 63 00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:39,556 You did promise not to laugh. 64 00:03:39,607 --> 00:03:42,644 How could I foresee your hobby would be that ridiculous? 65 00:03:42,687 --> 00:03:45,759 - It's a perfectly legitimate hobby. - Of course it is. 66 00:03:45,807 --> 00:03:49,959 I've got a hobby. It really relieves the tension and leaves you feeling refreshed. 67 00:03:50,007 --> 00:03:53,283 - I do it every morning in the shower. - OK, please, stop there. 68 00:03:54,287 --> 00:03:57,085 What's wrong with singing in the shower? 69 00:03:57,127 --> 00:04:01,040 I can't be late for my first day as manager. 70 00:04:01,087 --> 00:04:02,839 Wish me luck. 71 00:04:02,887 --> 00:04:04,798 You're gonna need it in that jacket. 72 00:04:04,847 --> 00:04:07,520 - You don't like my jacket? - You laughed at my hobby. 73 00:04:07,567 --> 00:04:09,319 See, hurts, doesn't it? 74 00:04:09,367 --> 00:04:13,201 Oh, Janey, I'm sorry, I can't watch Kenzo tonight. 75 00:04:13,247 --> 00:04:16,284 That's OK, I won't be going anywhere. I dumped Richard. 76 00:04:16,327 --> 00:04:18,124 I thought you liked him. 77 00:04:18,727 --> 00:04:20,240 He had this creepy habit. 78 00:04:20,287 --> 00:04:22,084 He couldn't stop smiling. 79 00:04:22,127 --> 00:04:25,358 He smiled through everything, and I mean everything! 80 00:04:25,407 --> 00:04:27,045 What is wrong with these guys? 81 00:04:27,087 --> 00:04:30,318 Oh, Janey, darling, I love you, you're my daughter, blah, blah, blah, 82 00:04:30,367 --> 00:04:31,772 but have you ever thought it might be you? 83 00:04:31,784 --> 00:04:33,200 What? 84 00:04:33,247 --> 00:04:37,081 What is the one common element in all your failed relationships? 85 00:04:37,127 --> 00:04:39,197 They're all prats! 86 00:04:41,327 --> 00:04:43,921 Oh, God! It's me? 87 00:04:43,967 --> 00:04:45,605 - Darling, I have to run. - What? 88 00:04:45,647 --> 00:04:47,524 - Talk to your father about it. - Dad? 89 00:04:47,567 --> 00:04:49,842 - Me? - I'd rather talk to a wall, no offence. 90 00:04:49,887 --> 00:04:52,447 None taken. I'd rather you did talk to a wall too. 91 00:04:52,487 --> 00:04:55,285 Dad doesn't know anything about relationships. 92 00:04:55,327 --> 00:04:58,922 These are all very good books on how to manage relationships. 93 00:04:58,967 --> 00:05:00,923 They might be of some help. 94 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:04,403 - Why do you have so many? - I'm married to your father. 95 00:05:04,447 --> 00:05:06,438 How To Manage Your Partner's Anger. 96 00:05:06,487 --> 00:05:10,082 This one looks like it's been torn in half and taped back together. 97 00:05:10,127 --> 00:05:13,517 Oh, yeah, yeah. Yep, that was not a good night. 98 00:05:14,527 --> 00:05:17,485 That was a very bad night. 99 00:05:21,167 --> 00:05:22,998 Hello, Ben. Wonderful news. 100 00:05:23,047 --> 00:05:24,560 Please, hold on. 101 00:05:24,607 --> 00:05:26,006 What are you writing? 102 00:05:26,047 --> 00:05:28,390 I'm writing gibberish to make it look like I'm 103 00:05:28,402 --> 00:05:30,757 too busy to talk to you, then you'll leave, 104 00:05:30,807 --> 00:05:32,559 but it's not working. 105 00:05:32,607 --> 00:05:35,758 Ben, I've been bought out by Cavitex too! 106 00:05:35,807 --> 00:05:38,241 We're finally gonna be working for the same company. 107 00:05:38,287 --> 00:05:40,721 Oh, really? Well, I'm not staying. 108 00:05:40,767 --> 00:05:43,201 What, not even to work alongside me? 109 00:05:43,247 --> 00:05:44,999 As tempting as that may sound, Roger, no. 110 00:05:45,047 --> 00:05:48,437 I'm taking this opportunity of running like hell and never looking back. 111 00:05:48,487 --> 00:05:52,765 With companies like Cavitex, you're just a nameless, faceless employee. 112 00:05:52,807 --> 00:05:54,957 Yes, I know. Isn't it exciting? 113 00:05:55,847 --> 00:05:59,999 I'm going to be employee number 1378. 114 00:06:01,047 --> 00:06:02,873 I hope I'm not interrupting. 115 00:06:02,885 --> 00:06:04,722 Not at all, Mr Griffith, 1378 was just leaving. 116 00:06:04,767 --> 00:06:07,565 Right, I suppose you have my contract to sign. 117 00:06:07,607 --> 00:06:10,724 I do, but first I wanted to talk to you about staying on here. 118 00:06:10,767 --> 00:06:13,281 We'd love to have you as part of the Cavitex family. 119 00:06:13,327 --> 00:06:15,557 Please, don't mention the F word. 120 00:06:15,607 --> 00:06:17,751 Is there nothing will persuade you to stay? 121 00:06:17,763 --> 00:06:19,919 Nope, I will not be a cog in your machine. 122 00:06:19,967 --> 00:06:21,878 I was born to be a cog. 123 00:06:21,927 --> 00:06:25,886 You're everything that's wrong with dentistry today, Mr Griffith, everything. 124 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,077 All you are concerned about is money. 125 00:06:29,047 --> 00:06:30,639 Is that my cheque? 126 00:06:30,687 --> 00:06:32,035 If you sign these papers, we'll send it to you. 127 00:06:32,047 --> 00:06:33,406 Yep. 128 00:06:33,447 --> 00:06:35,836 You might want to look that over before you sign it. 129 00:06:35,887 --> 00:06:37,843 Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, I'm out. 130 00:06:37,887 --> 00:06:40,879 Out of this stinking hellhole. 131 00:06:42,167 --> 00:06:44,522 You can take your poxy surgery and stick it. 132 00:06:45,247 --> 00:06:49,320 - Well, I'm glad you're here, Roger. - Please, call me 1378. 133 00:06:52,727 --> 00:06:57,755 Right, here's your Cavitex employee manual for you to memorise. 134 00:06:57,807 --> 00:06:59,718 Sucker. 135 00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:02,406 Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Mr Griffith. 136 00:07:05,407 --> 00:07:08,797 Ben, I love everything about this company. 137 00:07:08,847 --> 00:07:13,523 Especially Bristles, the bear with brush, brush, brush, brush, brushittude. 138 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,398 You're just a lap dog, Roger. 139 00:07:15,447 --> 00:07:17,881 Oh, thanks, Ben. 140 00:07:17,927 --> 00:07:20,964 Lap dogs are so cuddly and lovable. 141 00:07:23,487 --> 00:07:26,797 You really don't know how to take an insult, do you? 142 00:07:29,247 --> 00:07:31,283 Janey, what are you doing here? 143 00:07:32,287 --> 00:07:34,039 It's these books you gave me. 144 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,486 What about them? 145 00:07:35,527 --> 00:07:37,165 They just seem a bit specific. 146 00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:40,438 I mean, Does Your Husband Hate Your Children? 147 00:07:40,487 --> 00:07:43,957 Manic Depressives And The Women Who Love Them. 148 00:07:44,967 --> 00:07:47,640 Living Well When You're Dead Inside. 149 00:07:47,687 --> 00:07:50,042 That last one's a real page turner. 150 00:07:50,087 --> 00:07:52,442 I don't think they deal with what's wrong with me. 151 00:07:52,487 --> 00:07:55,206 I'm sorry, I have to prepare for the Peter Hendry opening, 152 00:07:55,247 --> 00:07:57,477 and find an assistant for my old job. 153 00:07:57,527 --> 00:08:01,281 This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me and I need help. 154 00:08:01,327 --> 00:08:02,965 Oh, I've got the answer. 155 00:08:03,007 --> 00:08:04,565 You do? 156 00:08:04,607 --> 00:08:08,043 I'm too self-absorbed. 157 00:08:11,207 --> 00:08:15,200 Well done, Mr Crompton, up you come. That's a good boy, all finished. 158 00:08:15,247 --> 00:08:17,203 - We're not done, are we? - Mm-hm. 159 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:19,715 I am, you can spit all you like. 160 00:08:20,687 --> 00:08:22,166 That seems a little bit rushed. 161 00:08:22,207 --> 00:08:24,960 Perhaps because I was just ploughing though. 162 00:08:25,007 --> 00:08:29,000 You know, Mr Crompton, you're my last patient ever. 163 00:08:29,047 --> 00:08:32,926 My God, it felt really good to say that out loud. 164 00:08:32,967 --> 00:08:34,366 I was your first patient. 165 00:08:35,367 --> 00:08:37,403 Aren't you even gonna say goodbye? 166 00:08:38,567 --> 00:08:40,000 Oh, are you still here? 167 00:08:40,047 --> 00:08:41,685 What's gonna happen to me? 168 00:08:41,727 --> 00:08:45,800 It's all right, you'll be in the impersonal hands of the Cavitex Corporation. 169 00:08:45,847 --> 00:08:48,441 Who knows, they might even get a robot to work on you, 170 00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:51,001 or perhaps even... an idiot. 171 00:08:51,047 --> 00:08:53,800 I thought you could use these empty boxes for packing. 172 00:08:53,847 --> 00:08:55,439 Why? I'm not taking anything. 173 00:08:55,487 --> 00:08:59,082 After 25 years, you must have some personal effects. 174 00:08:59,127 --> 00:09:00,685 No. 175 00:09:00,727 --> 00:09:04,037 Oh, well, I see you took the fish home. 176 00:09:04,087 --> 00:09:07,204 If by home you mean flushed down the toilet, then yes. 177 00:09:08,407 --> 00:09:14,482 You know, Ben... I'm really gonna miss working alongside you. I mean... 178 00:09:17,447 --> 00:09:20,803 Ah... Look at that. 179 00:09:22,407 --> 00:09:25,240 My very, very first scaler. 180 00:09:38,927 --> 00:09:41,077 Ah, that's better. 181 00:09:52,127 --> 00:09:54,766 Touch that tractor, Mr Harper, and you'll be out this window 182 00:09:54,807 --> 00:09:57,372 quicker than you can say Llanfairpwllgwyngyll 183 00:09:57,384 --> 00:09:59,961 gogerychwyrndrobwl- lllantysiliogogogoch! 184 00:10:00,007 --> 00:10:02,157 - Out. - I was only joking. 185 00:10:02,207 --> 00:10:05,563 I wasn't. As I haven't seen a pound for this room yet, 186 00:10:05,607 --> 00:10:09,361 I'm requisitioning this room as my model room for me toy soldiers. 187 00:10:09,407 --> 00:10:12,922 Oh, I don't mind if you do your hobby in my room, Mr Harper. 188 00:10:12,967 --> 00:10:15,481 In fact, I'll enjoy the company. We'll have good fun. 189 00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:18,360 Yeah, let me think about that. 190 00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:22,805 Hello, roommate. 191 00:10:29,007 --> 00:10:31,282 I want that pain in the arse out of my room! 192 00:10:31,327 --> 00:10:34,239 I thought your father moved into Alfie's room. 193 00:10:34,287 --> 00:10:36,596 He did, and I'm stuck with Alfie. 194 00:10:36,647 --> 00:10:39,957 Michael, relax, your father will get bored with his hobby in a few days 195 00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:42,441 - and you'll get your room back. - That's it? 196 00:10:42,487 --> 00:10:43,920 What kind of help is that? 197 00:10:43,967 --> 00:10:45,798 Sorry, I have too many problems of my own. 198 00:10:45,847 --> 00:10:49,476 The way things are at the moment, I won't even have time to cook. 199 00:10:49,527 --> 00:10:51,677 If you're trying to cheer me up, it won't work. 200 00:10:51,727 --> 00:10:53,797 Hiya, Mikey, how's it going? 201 00:10:53,847 --> 00:10:55,280 - It stinks. - Good. 202 00:10:55,327 --> 00:10:57,397 Well, you're in a good mood. 203 00:10:57,447 --> 00:11:01,520 I'm starting my new life, I have a whole new attitude. 204 00:11:01,567 --> 00:11:03,046 But still ignoring your children? 205 00:11:03,087 --> 00:11:05,840 Yep, but I'm doing it with a spring in my step. 206 00:11:05,887 --> 00:11:07,764 God, those place mats are awful. 207 00:11:07,807 --> 00:11:11,880 These are prints by an artist we're showing at the gallery. 208 00:11:11,927 --> 00:11:13,804 But they're rubbish. 209 00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:16,122 There's more to art than beauty, Ben. 210 00:11:16,167 --> 00:11:22,800 Perhaps the artist wants you to feel pain or chaos or confusion... 211 00:11:22,847 --> 00:11:25,361 You're right, they are rubbish, aren't they? 212 00:11:27,407 --> 00:11:30,524 Just brushed my teeth. My breath is minty fresh. 213 00:11:31,687 --> 00:11:33,996 Which side of the bed do you want to sleep on? 214 00:11:34,047 --> 00:11:36,197 Both sides. You get the floor. 215 00:11:36,247 --> 00:11:38,886 I have a bad back. 216 00:11:38,927 --> 00:11:40,155 Tough! 217 00:11:40,207 --> 00:11:42,004 You're turning into your father. 218 00:11:42,047 --> 00:11:44,003 Don't you ever say that! 219 00:11:45,527 --> 00:11:48,837 You know, growing up on a farm, we used to sleep three to a bed. 220 00:11:48,887 --> 00:11:51,481 Yeah, right, you and two pigs. 221 00:11:51,527 --> 00:11:53,995 Oh, I'd forgotten I'd told you. 222 00:11:55,567 --> 00:11:58,161 I really appreciate you taking me in like this, Michael. 223 00:11:58,207 --> 00:11:59,925 You won't even notice I'm here. 224 00:12:06,847 --> 00:12:08,565 Oh, you noticed. 225 00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:16,359 Ah! 226 00:12:21,967 --> 00:12:23,366 Wow! 227 00:12:40,487 --> 00:12:41,920 Wow! 228 00:13:11,687 --> 00:13:14,997 So, Jillian, do you think you have the skills for this position? 229 00:13:15,047 --> 00:13:19,006 Of course, it's just answering the phone and sticking red dots on paintings. 230 00:13:19,047 --> 00:13:20,446 A chimp could do it. 231 00:13:20,487 --> 00:13:23,047 I've been doing that job for the last two years. 232 00:13:24,527 --> 00:13:27,564 Those red dots have to be ordered, you know. 233 00:13:33,167 --> 00:13:34,680 Ohh! 234 00:13:37,607 --> 00:13:39,006 Great! 235 00:13:41,447 --> 00:13:44,996 OK, you lie there. 236 00:13:46,127 --> 00:13:50,882 You have been hit by musket fire at very close range. 237 00:13:53,327 --> 00:13:55,124 So, do you think you'd fit in here? 238 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:58,364 Yeah, I love art, 239 00:13:58,407 --> 00:14:01,843 especially that bloke who did the head of blood, 240 00:14:01,887 --> 00:14:05,323 and the one who cuts animals in half. 241 00:14:05,367 --> 00:14:07,437 You know, what's his name? 242 00:14:07,487 --> 00:14:08,886 Damien Hurst. 243 00:14:08,927 --> 00:14:11,122 Yeah, that's him. 244 00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:17,606 I find vivisection and dismemberment really... beautiful. 245 00:14:19,127 --> 00:14:22,676 So, it'd just be you and me here alone most of the time, huh? 246 00:14:22,727 --> 00:14:28,643 No, we have several security guards and... and a dog. 247 00:14:28,687 --> 00:14:30,723 A very, very, very big dog. 248 00:14:49,167 --> 00:14:50,964 Get a fight started. 249 00:14:52,327 --> 00:14:53,726 Fabulous! 250 00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,200 Let's get you done. 251 00:14:58,487 --> 00:15:00,284 OK, let's do it. 252 00:15:02,127 --> 00:15:04,004 Come on, babies. 253 00:15:08,887 --> 00:15:10,286 Yeah! 254 00:15:15,047 --> 00:15:17,561 I'm sorry, Colin, but when I asked your favourite artist, 255 00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:19,758 I was thinking more Van Gogh or Jackson Pollock, 256 00:15:20,927 --> 00:15:23,282 not... Nellie Furtado. 257 00:15:28,127 --> 00:15:31,005 Hi, Susan. Well done on your promotion. 258 00:15:31,047 --> 00:15:32,196 Oh, thanks, Abi. 259 00:15:32,247 --> 00:15:35,205 Heard you were looking for someone to fill your shoes. 260 00:15:35,247 --> 00:15:37,807 Oh, Abi, that's very bold of you to try, 261 00:15:37,847 --> 00:15:40,407 but, how can I put this gently? 262 00:15:40,447 --> 00:15:44,406 I don't think you have the grace or the style that a job like this demands. 263 00:15:44,447 --> 00:15:50,124 I think... intellectually, culturally and dare I say it, socially, 264 00:15:50,167 --> 00:15:52,044 you'd be way out of your depth. 265 00:15:52,087 --> 00:15:56,285 Actually, I just dropped by with your congratulations card... 266 00:15:57,527 --> 00:15:59,165 but thanks for your opinion. 267 00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,958 You have to push. 268 00:16:08,847 --> 00:16:10,758 Oh, no! 269 00:16:33,247 --> 00:16:36,000 But why do we always have to get Chinese? 270 00:16:36,047 --> 00:16:38,277 Because you like Chinese. 271 00:16:40,327 --> 00:16:42,636 OK, fine, we'll order Indian. 272 00:16:42,687 --> 00:16:44,245 You know what curry does to me. 273 00:16:44,287 --> 00:16:46,323 Now we share a room, I do. 274 00:16:46,367 --> 00:16:49,165 You two really need to work things out. 275 00:16:49,207 --> 00:16:51,198 It's not me, it's him. He's impossible. 276 00:16:51,247 --> 00:16:54,045 Couples often assign blame. 277 00:16:54,087 --> 00:16:55,486 Not couple. 278 00:16:55,527 --> 00:16:58,758 Look, I picked up some great new books at the library, 279 00:16:58,807 --> 00:17:01,037 and I really think I could help you. 280 00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:03,078 You've read all of those? 281 00:17:03,127 --> 00:17:06,597 No, just the dust jackets, but there's a lot of good stuff here. 282 00:17:06,647 --> 00:17:11,198 Personally, I think an objective point of view couldn't hurt. 283 00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:12,965 I'm too hungry to care. 284 00:17:13,007 --> 00:17:15,601 Then, may I make a suggestion? Pizza? 285 00:17:18,407 --> 00:17:20,204 - I could do that. - She's good. 286 00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:21,646 Take a seat. 287 00:17:22,807 --> 00:17:25,480 I'm going to ask you both a few questions. 288 00:17:25,527 --> 00:17:28,519 You see, I suspect that the fabric of your relationship 289 00:17:28,567 --> 00:17:30,797 is in the throes of an enmeshed dysfunctional... 290 00:17:30,847 --> 00:17:32,963 Just ask your bloody questions! 291 00:17:35,567 --> 00:17:37,842 - How's your sex life? - Pretty good. 292 00:17:37,887 --> 00:17:40,879 - What?! - I'm saying, pretty good. 293 00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:42,485 Oh, us, God, no! 294 00:17:43,487 --> 00:17:45,000 - This is ridiculous. - Mikey... 295 00:17:45,047 --> 00:17:47,163 I'm willing to work through our issues... 296 00:17:50,727 --> 00:17:53,195 but he is distant and closed off. 297 00:17:53,247 --> 00:17:55,050 Michael, you have to be open if you're going 298 00:17:55,062 --> 00:17:56,876 to make progress in your relationship. 299 00:17:56,927 --> 00:18:00,158 I'm not in a relationship, I'm ordering pizza. 300 00:18:00,207 --> 00:18:01,606 It takes time. 301 00:18:04,247 --> 00:18:05,646 Morning. 302 00:18:05,687 --> 00:18:07,882 It's... night. 303 00:18:08,927 --> 00:18:11,316 Dad, you all right? 304 00:18:11,367 --> 00:18:14,404 I'm fine, Mikey, fine, fine. 305 00:18:14,447 --> 00:18:17,007 Just looking for some butter... 306 00:18:19,967 --> 00:18:23,676 to, erm... get this soldier off my face. 307 00:18:24,887 --> 00:18:27,447 I'm... I'm dizzy. 308 00:18:27,487 --> 00:18:29,671 I'm not surprised, you've been in your hobby 309 00:18:29,683 --> 00:18:31,878 room all day inhaling paint and glue. 310 00:18:31,927 --> 00:18:36,876 Janey, just cos I've got a soldier stuck to my face, doesn't mean that I'm... 311 00:18:39,647 --> 00:18:41,046 Morning. 312 00:18:47,367 --> 00:18:50,677 Oh, well, hello, you're really late. 313 00:18:50,727 --> 00:18:53,002 Well, there was so much to do at work. 314 00:18:54,287 --> 00:18:56,960 Walls to retouch, pictures to hang... 315 00:18:57,967 --> 00:18:59,525 caterers to organise. 316 00:19:00,767 --> 00:19:02,883 Don't you have people to do that for you? 317 00:19:02,927 --> 00:19:05,236 Um, yes, but... 318 00:19:06,927 --> 00:19:08,360 they left. 319 00:19:08,407 --> 00:19:12,116 - You fired them, didn't you? - I didn't like their tone. 320 00:19:12,167 --> 00:19:14,965 - All of them? - They were in cahoots. 321 00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:20,644 So, still enjoying doing nothing? 322 00:19:20,687 --> 00:19:23,155 I would hardly call it doing nothing. 323 00:19:23,207 --> 00:19:26,199 I'll have you know I'm retreating from Moscow tomorrow. 324 00:19:26,247 --> 00:19:27,965 Sounds exciting. 325 00:19:28,007 --> 00:19:29,440 It's very exciting. 326 00:19:29,487 --> 00:19:34,038 Very, and I've got a thousand figures still to paint. 327 00:19:35,047 --> 00:19:36,446 I can't wait. 328 00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:41,607 - I could help you at the gallery. - You're bored, aren't you? 329 00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:44,002 Susan, it's like watching paint dry. 330 00:19:45,367 --> 00:19:47,562 No, wait, it is watching paint dry. 331 00:19:50,047 --> 00:19:51,526 - A little to the right. - Mm-hm. 332 00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:53,444 Down. 333 00:19:53,487 --> 00:19:55,125 Now, up a little to the left. 334 00:19:55,167 --> 00:19:56,566 More. 335 00:19:57,767 --> 00:19:59,092 More. 336 00:19:59,104 --> 00:20:00,440 You just cancelled out what I've just done. 337 00:20:00,487 --> 00:20:02,318 It's still crooked. 338 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,244 Up a little to the left now. 339 00:20:05,887 --> 00:20:07,400 Up a little to the right. 340 00:20:07,887 --> 00:20:09,957 I think, you know... 341 00:20:10,007 --> 00:20:13,443 Ah, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, I see the problem. 342 00:20:13,487 --> 00:20:15,125 Ah, perfect. 343 00:20:15,767 --> 00:20:18,327 I forgot to do the flowers and I still need to do the floor. 344 00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:19,766 Floor? 345 00:20:19,807 --> 00:20:23,641 You don't think you could figure out how to work this thing, do you? 346 00:20:23,687 --> 00:20:26,485 Hello, hello, I've been polishing teeth all my life, 347 00:20:26,527 --> 00:20:28,119 I think I can buff a floor. 348 00:20:28,167 --> 00:20:30,556 Thank you, thank you, I'll be back in an hour. 349 00:20:31,607 --> 00:20:34,838 Remind me to do that thing you like, later. 350 00:20:34,887 --> 00:20:37,082 What, with a French accent and everything? 351 00:20:37,127 --> 00:20:39,004 But of course, monsieur. 352 00:20:40,367 --> 00:20:43,245 OK, baby, let's see what kind of horsepower you've got. 353 00:20:43,287 --> 00:20:46,438 Easy, easy, easy! When I'm ready, OK? 354 00:20:46,487 --> 00:20:48,045 Good. 355 00:20:50,607 --> 00:20:52,006 Ooh! 356 00:20:52,047 --> 00:20:55,198 Ooh, you feel good. You feel good. 357 00:20:55,687 --> 00:20:58,155 OK, baby, let's do it. 358 00:22:52,527 --> 00:22:55,678 - What are you doing? - Yoga. 359 00:22:55,727 --> 00:22:58,400 Your clothes would restrict you how? 360 00:23:01,127 --> 00:23:03,561 Yoga is important to me. 361 00:23:03,607 --> 00:23:06,326 I need it to realign my chakras every day. 362 00:23:06,367 --> 00:23:09,200 You might wanna wash your chakras occasionally. 363 00:23:09,247 --> 00:23:12,717 OK, let's try a little role reversal, shall we? 364 00:23:12,767 --> 00:23:14,883 Alfie, you be Michael, Michael, you be Alfie. 365 00:23:14,927 --> 00:23:16,326 You go first. 366 00:23:16,367 --> 00:23:20,645 - All right. - Hm, I think I'll give up yoga. 367 00:23:22,007 --> 00:23:23,679 I didn't mean like that. 368 00:23:23,727 --> 00:23:25,240 Alfie, you try. 369 00:23:25,287 --> 00:23:27,039 Hello, I'm Michael. 370 00:23:27,087 --> 00:23:30,636 I hide my sexual frustration behind a studious facade. 371 00:23:30,687 --> 00:23:33,360 - That's it! - OK, OK, OK, OK! 372 00:23:33,407 --> 00:23:36,683 Michael, you just have to accept that Alfie likes yoga. 373 00:23:36,727 --> 00:23:40,402 Alfie, you have to accept that Michael's sexually frustrated. 374 00:23:40,447 --> 00:23:42,403 You're not helping. 375 00:23:42,447 --> 00:23:46,884 All I'm saying is, you both want each other to be the person you want them to be, 376 00:23:46,927 --> 00:23:48,997 and not the person they are. 377 00:23:49,047 --> 00:23:52,084 Like you've done with every guy you've ever gone out with? 378 00:23:52,127 --> 00:23:53,765 What are you talking about? 379 00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:57,436 He's saying, you're assigning your own problems and issues to others. 380 00:23:57,487 --> 00:23:59,523 It's a textbook case of projection. 381 00:24:01,487 --> 00:24:03,682 Maybe you're right. 382 00:24:03,727 --> 00:24:05,399 Poor Richard. 383 00:24:05,447 --> 00:24:08,564 I dumped him because he smiled a lot. 384 00:24:08,607 --> 00:24:10,438 I'm going to call him. 385 00:24:12,647 --> 00:24:14,763 Well, I think we've all had a breakthrough. 386 00:24:14,807 --> 00:24:16,559 Don't you dare try to hug me. 387 00:24:19,687 --> 00:24:21,086 Perfect! 388 00:24:23,287 --> 00:24:27,280 - Oh, Ben, it's beautiful. - I know, I know. You're welcome. 389 00:24:27,327 --> 00:24:31,878 I'm almost frightened to walk on it, it's so... Ohh! 390 00:24:35,367 --> 00:24:37,244 How much wax did you use? 391 00:24:37,287 --> 00:24:39,437 I mean, it's the usual... 392 00:24:42,287 --> 00:24:43,845 Ben! 393 00:24:53,007 --> 00:24:55,919 - Richard. - Janey, I was glad you called, 394 00:24:55,967 --> 00:24:58,640 - I've been so miserable. - Me too. 395 00:24:58,687 --> 00:25:02,600 Look, I know I messed things up, but I took a good hard look at myself, 396 00:25:02,647 --> 00:25:06,686 and from now on I'm going to be more understanding and less critical. 397 00:25:06,727 --> 00:25:11,084 And I'm gonna try and be more upbeat, cos I think we make a great couple, 398 00:25:11,127 --> 00:25:14,358 and I can see us being together for a long, long time. 399 00:25:18,487 --> 00:25:20,284 I'm sorry, I can't do it. 400 00:25:22,287 --> 00:25:27,884 Really, this work is best appreciated from below the painting, looking upward. 401 00:25:34,367 --> 00:25:36,085 Excuse me a moment. 402 00:25:36,527 --> 00:25:37,926 Ben? 403 00:25:39,767 --> 00:25:41,200 Ben. 404 00:25:41,247 --> 00:25:42,999 Help yourself to a drink. 405 00:25:44,807 --> 00:25:46,365 A word. 406 00:25:51,287 --> 00:25:52,686 Ohh! 407 00:25:54,087 --> 00:25:55,884 I think it's going well. 408 00:25:58,927 --> 00:26:01,919 Now, come on, it wasn't all that bad, you know. 409 00:26:05,527 --> 00:26:08,439 Are you sure you should be drinking that on your medication? 410 00:26:08,487 --> 00:26:11,047 After tonight, I don't care. 411 00:26:12,087 --> 00:26:14,647 I thought it was pretty memorable. 412 00:26:16,887 --> 00:26:22,405 It was like the first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan... on ice. 413 00:26:23,847 --> 00:26:26,361 I don't know how I'm going to pay for the damages. 414 00:26:26,407 --> 00:26:30,923 Ah, well, there you go, there you go, you see, good old Ben to the rescue again. 415 00:26:30,967 --> 00:26:34,403 Look at this, look what I've got here - a little letter from Cavitex, 416 00:26:34,447 --> 00:26:38,918 which means, inside, ha, ha, ha, the cheque. 417 00:26:38,967 --> 00:26:40,366 Look at... 418 00:26:40,407 --> 00:26:43,001 That's... That can't be right. 419 00:26:44,647 --> 00:26:46,399 You did read the contract, didn't you? 420 00:26:48,327 --> 00:26:50,158 I'm not an idiot, Susan. 421 00:26:54,127 --> 00:26:57,915 - It's fine, don't worry! - Did you forget something? 422 00:26:57,967 --> 00:26:59,400 - Hello, Mr Griffith. - Hello. 423 00:26:59,447 --> 00:27:03,645 Ah... I was thinking, about the way you begged me to stay, and I understand that, 424 00:27:03,687 --> 00:27:06,759 and I am prepared to share my years of experience 425 00:27:06,807 --> 00:27:09,241 with you and the Cavitex family. 426 00:27:09,287 --> 00:27:11,954 As I recall, Mr Harper, you said that Cavitex 427 00:27:11,966 --> 00:27:14,645 is precisely what's wrong with dentistry today. 428 00:27:14,687 --> 00:27:16,632 Then, just before telling me to stick it, you said 429 00:27:16,644 --> 00:27:18,600 you'd no interest in being a cog in a machine 430 00:27:18,647 --> 00:27:22,526 and called this poxy surgery a stinking hellhole. 431 00:27:24,367 --> 00:27:26,323 You, sir, have a good memory. 432 00:27:27,687 --> 00:27:29,723 Are we done here, Mr Harper? 433 00:27:29,767 --> 00:27:33,442 Look, Mr Griffith, please, I am... I am a man of dignity, 434 00:27:33,487 --> 00:27:36,877 but in this case, I'm prepared to drop that out of a window 435 00:27:36,927 --> 00:27:40,283 and beg you on my knees, please. I'll do anything, anything! 436 00:27:40,327 --> 00:27:43,364 Well, I can't deny you'd be a valuable asset to the Cavitex team. 437 00:27:43,407 --> 00:27:48,481 Team, team, that's it, you see. Hello, hello, I'm a team player. 438 00:27:48,527 --> 00:27:50,006 Welcome aboard, Harper. 439 00:27:51,207 --> 00:27:52,845 Oh, yeah, of course. 440 00:27:53,927 --> 00:27:55,758 Actually, it's good timing on your part, 441 00:27:55,807 --> 00:27:58,480 we're about to take some photos for the company newsletter. 442 00:27:58,527 --> 00:28:01,166 - Oh, sure. - Diana, send in the photographer, please. 443 00:28:01,207 --> 00:28:02,606 - Yes, sir. - This way. 444 00:28:02,647 --> 00:28:06,799 You do realise that Cavitex demands the highest standard from its employees? 445 00:28:06,847 --> 00:28:09,805 - No, no, of course. - Ah, good, here they are. Come in. 446 00:28:13,967 --> 00:28:15,366 Is this really necessary? 447 00:28:15,407 --> 00:28:17,204 No, but it makes me happy. 448 00:28:17,247 --> 00:28:20,319 Right, you two, nice and close. That's it, cuddle up. 449 00:28:21,847 --> 00:28:23,724 Relax, Ben, it's me. 450 00:28:27,007 --> 00:28:28,599 Come on. 35031

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