All language subtitles for My Family - s08ep04 - The Wax Job
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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,687 --> 00:00:03,281
You see, Olivia,
look, there's nothing to worry about.
2
00:00:03,327 --> 00:00:07,161
Just a little cleaning, that's all,
isn't it, Mummy? A little cleaning.
3
00:00:07,207 --> 00:00:08,959
So, come on, come on, open wide.
4
00:00:11,287 --> 00:00:12,686
Give me the teddy.
5
00:00:13,687 --> 00:00:15,086
Come on, come on.
6
00:00:16,927 --> 00:00:20,442
All right, there you see,
Mr Teddy likes his teeth cleaned.
7
00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:25,436
Don't you, Mr Teddy? Oh, I love
my teeth cleaned. I love my teeth cleaned.
8
00:00:25,487 --> 00:00:29,480
You see, look.
Look, there's nothing to worry about.
9
00:00:29,527 --> 00:00:32,519
There.
Oh, look, he's loving that.
10
00:00:41,567 --> 00:00:43,797
It's all right. There you are.
11
00:00:43,847 --> 00:00:45,678
There.
12
00:01:02,087 --> 00:01:04,362
#... funny... # A-ha!
13
00:01:04,407 --> 00:01:06,398
- How did you hear?
- Hear what?
14
00:01:06,447 --> 00:01:08,517
My big news.
15
00:01:08,567 --> 00:01:10,000
I have big news.
16
00:01:10,047 --> 00:01:13,005
- Yeah, well, let me tell you mine.
- No, I want to tell you mine.
17
00:01:13,047 --> 00:01:14,924
I think we're gonna have a problem.
18
00:01:14,967 --> 00:01:17,117
- Let's toss for it.
- OK, let's toss.
19
00:01:17,167 --> 00:01:18,566
- Heads or tails?
- Heads.
20
00:01:18,607 --> 00:01:21,121
I became manager of the art gallery today.
21
00:01:21,167 --> 00:01:23,556
- You didn't look at it.
- I couldn't wait to tell you.
22
00:01:23,607 --> 00:01:26,997
I won't bore you with the details,
but let's just say, it's more money.
23
00:01:27,047 --> 00:01:30,278
Oh, really? More money?
Well, that compliments mine, my dear.
24
00:01:30,327 --> 00:01:33,444
My big news is, I'm quitting my job.
25
00:01:33,487 --> 00:01:34,886
What?
26
00:01:34,927 --> 00:01:37,600
I'm selling my practice
to the Cavitex Corporation.
27
00:01:37,647 --> 00:01:41,117
The ones with the adverts with Bristles,
that stupid singing bear?
28
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:45,319
Listen, my darling, that stupid bear is
gonna bring us a whole shedload of money.
29
00:01:45,367 --> 00:01:46,766
Ho-ho-ho.
30
00:01:47,527 --> 00:01:49,199
Enough for you to retire?
31
00:01:49,247 --> 00:01:53,320
Well, no, we'll have to bodge it a bit,
but you know, hey, there are positives.
32
00:01:53,367 --> 00:01:54,766
Like what?
33
00:01:54,807 --> 00:01:56,365
I won't have to do anything.
34
00:01:57,727 --> 00:02:01,356
And I'm practically stealing from the
Cavitex Corporation in the first place.
35
00:02:01,407 --> 00:02:03,637
And you, you'll be earning more money,
won't you?
36
00:02:03,687 --> 00:02:08,522
- Yes.
- Eh, remember, Mrs Manager?
37
00:02:10,247 --> 00:02:13,159
This has come pretty quickly.
You've only been there three months.
38
00:02:13,207 --> 00:02:14,845
- Two years.
- Two years.
39
00:02:15,527 --> 00:02:18,519
Still, I suppose it means
you can spend more time with the family.
40
00:02:18,567 --> 00:02:20,239
True, but that shouldn't stop me.
41
00:02:21,887 --> 00:02:23,798
- Here's to me.
- Here's to us.
42
00:02:23,847 --> 00:02:25,405
Here's to us.
43
00:02:28,287 --> 00:02:34,601
Does this jacket say sophistication
or is it too artsy?
44
00:02:34,647 --> 00:02:37,957
It screams sophistication
with just the right amount of artsy.
45
00:02:38,007 --> 00:02:42,159
I want to strike a balance
between artistic and powerful.
46
00:02:42,207 --> 00:02:45,517
It needs to say
"I'm in charge, but not bossy."
47
00:02:45,567 --> 00:02:47,444
Your jacket has many personalities.
48
00:02:47,487 --> 00:02:50,559
Stop worrying. Your jacket didn't
get the promotion, you did.
49
00:02:50,607 --> 00:02:52,359
All right, all right.
50
00:02:52,407 --> 00:02:54,125
So, not bossy, then?
51
00:02:55,487 --> 00:02:57,682
- Quickly!
- No, not bossy.
52
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,405
Mum told us about you retiring.
53
00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:03,915
So, where you off to,
Spain, South of France?
54
00:03:03,967 --> 00:03:05,685
I'll be here.
55
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:08,321
Oh, didn't invest wisely.
56
00:03:09,647 --> 00:03:12,559
What will you do with all your free time?
57
00:03:12,607 --> 00:03:15,758
I've... decided on a hobby.
58
00:03:16,887 --> 00:03:20,675
- What hobby?
- Mm, promise not to laugh?
59
00:03:20,727 --> 00:03:22,126
I promise.
60
00:03:22,167 --> 00:03:26,922
I'm going to paint...
the model figurines of famous battles.
61
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:31,078
Sorry, go on.
62
00:03:32,767 --> 00:03:35,486
And I'm gonna build dioramas
to put the figures on.
63
00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:39,556
You did promise not to laugh.
64
00:03:39,607 --> 00:03:42,644
How could I foresee
your hobby would be that ridiculous?
65
00:03:42,687 --> 00:03:45,759
- It's a perfectly legitimate hobby.
- Of course it is.
66
00:03:45,807 --> 00:03:49,959
I've got a hobby. It really relieves the
tension and leaves you feeling refreshed.
67
00:03:50,007 --> 00:03:53,283
- I do it every morning in the shower.
- OK, please, stop there.
68
00:03:54,287 --> 00:03:57,085
What's wrong with singing in the shower?
69
00:03:57,127 --> 00:04:01,040
I can't be late for my
first day as manager.
70
00:04:01,087 --> 00:04:02,839
Wish me luck.
71
00:04:02,887 --> 00:04:04,798
You're gonna need it in that jacket.
72
00:04:04,847 --> 00:04:07,520
- You don't like my jacket?
- You laughed at my hobby.
73
00:04:07,567 --> 00:04:09,319
See, hurts, doesn't it?
74
00:04:09,367 --> 00:04:13,201
Oh, Janey, I'm sorry,
I can't watch Kenzo tonight.
75
00:04:13,247 --> 00:04:16,284
That's OK, I won't be going anywhere.
I dumped Richard.
76
00:04:16,327 --> 00:04:18,124
I thought you liked him.
77
00:04:18,727 --> 00:04:20,240
He had this creepy habit.
78
00:04:20,287 --> 00:04:22,084
He couldn't stop smiling.
79
00:04:22,127 --> 00:04:25,358
He smiled through everything,
and I mean everything!
80
00:04:25,407 --> 00:04:27,045
What is wrong with these guys?
81
00:04:27,087 --> 00:04:30,318
Oh, Janey, darling, I love you,
you're my daughter, blah, blah, blah,
82
00:04:30,367 --> 00:04:31,772
but have you ever
thought it might be you?
83
00:04:31,784 --> 00:04:33,200
What?
84
00:04:33,247 --> 00:04:37,081
What is the one common element
in all your failed relationships?
85
00:04:37,127 --> 00:04:39,197
They're all prats!
86
00:04:41,327 --> 00:04:43,921
Oh, God! It's me?
87
00:04:43,967 --> 00:04:45,605
- Darling, I have to run.
- What?
88
00:04:45,647 --> 00:04:47,524
- Talk to your father about it.
- Dad?
89
00:04:47,567 --> 00:04:49,842
- Me?
- I'd rather talk to a wall, no offence.
90
00:04:49,887 --> 00:04:52,447
None taken.
I'd rather you did talk to a wall too.
91
00:04:52,487 --> 00:04:55,285
Dad doesn't know
anything about relationships.
92
00:04:55,327 --> 00:04:58,922
These are all very good books
on how to manage relationships.
93
00:04:58,967 --> 00:05:00,923
They might be of some help.
94
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:04,403
- Why do you have so many?
- I'm married to your father.
95
00:05:04,447 --> 00:05:06,438
How To Manage Your Partner's Anger.
96
00:05:06,487 --> 00:05:10,082
This one looks like it's been torn in half
and taped back together.
97
00:05:10,127 --> 00:05:13,517
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yep, that was not a good night.
98
00:05:14,527 --> 00:05:17,485
That was a very bad night.
99
00:05:21,167 --> 00:05:22,998
Hello, Ben.
Wonderful news.
100
00:05:23,047 --> 00:05:24,560
Please, hold on.
101
00:05:24,607 --> 00:05:26,006
What are you writing?
102
00:05:26,047 --> 00:05:28,390
I'm writing gibberish to
make it look like I'm
103
00:05:28,402 --> 00:05:30,757
too busy to talk to
you, then you'll leave,
104
00:05:30,807 --> 00:05:32,559
but it's not working.
105
00:05:32,607 --> 00:05:35,758
Ben, I've been bought out by Cavitex too!
106
00:05:35,807 --> 00:05:38,241
We're finally gonna be working
for the same company.
107
00:05:38,287 --> 00:05:40,721
Oh, really?
Well, I'm not staying.
108
00:05:40,767 --> 00:05:43,201
What, not even to work alongside me?
109
00:05:43,247 --> 00:05:44,999
As tempting as that may sound, Roger, no.
110
00:05:45,047 --> 00:05:48,437
I'm taking this opportunity of running
like hell and never looking back.
111
00:05:48,487 --> 00:05:52,765
With companies like Cavitex,
you're just a nameless, faceless employee.
112
00:05:52,807 --> 00:05:54,957
Yes, I know. Isn't it exciting?
113
00:05:55,847 --> 00:05:59,999
I'm going to be
employee number 1378.
114
00:06:01,047 --> 00:06:02,873
I hope I'm not interrupting.
115
00:06:02,885 --> 00:06:04,722
Not at all, Mr Griffith,
1378 was just leaving.
116
00:06:04,767 --> 00:06:07,565
Right, I suppose you have
my contract to sign.
117
00:06:07,607 --> 00:06:10,724
I do, but first I wanted to talk to you
about staying on here.
118
00:06:10,767 --> 00:06:13,281
We'd love to have you
as part of the Cavitex family.
119
00:06:13,327 --> 00:06:15,557
Please, don't mention the F word.
120
00:06:15,607 --> 00:06:17,751
Is there nothing will
persuade you to stay?
121
00:06:17,763 --> 00:06:19,919
Nope, I will not be a
cog in your machine.
122
00:06:19,967 --> 00:06:21,878
I was born to be a cog.
123
00:06:21,927 --> 00:06:25,886
You're everything that's wrong with
dentistry today, Mr Griffith, everything.
124
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,077
All you are concerned about is money.
125
00:06:29,047 --> 00:06:30,639
Is that my cheque?
126
00:06:30,687 --> 00:06:32,035
If you sign these papers,
we'll send it to you.
127
00:06:32,047 --> 00:06:33,406
Yep.
128
00:06:33,447 --> 00:06:35,836
You might want to look that over
before you sign it.
129
00:06:35,887 --> 00:06:37,843
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, I'm out.
130
00:06:37,887 --> 00:06:40,879
Out of this stinking hellhole.
131
00:06:42,167 --> 00:06:44,522
You can take your poxy
surgery and stick it.
132
00:06:45,247 --> 00:06:49,320
- Well, I'm glad you're here, Roger.
- Please, call me 1378.
133
00:06:52,727 --> 00:06:57,755
Right, here's your Cavitex employee manual
for you to memorise.
134
00:06:57,807 --> 00:06:59,718
Sucker.
135
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:02,406
Don't let the door hit you on the way out,
Mr Griffith.
136
00:07:05,407 --> 00:07:08,797
Ben, I love everything about this company.
137
00:07:08,847 --> 00:07:13,523
Especially Bristles, the bear with
brush, brush, brush, brush, brushittude.
138
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,398
You're just a lap dog, Roger.
139
00:07:15,447 --> 00:07:17,881
Oh, thanks, Ben.
140
00:07:17,927 --> 00:07:20,964
Lap dogs are so cuddly and lovable.
141
00:07:23,487 --> 00:07:26,797
You really don't know how
to take an insult, do you?
142
00:07:29,247 --> 00:07:31,283
Janey, what are you doing here?
143
00:07:32,287 --> 00:07:34,039
It's these books you gave me.
144
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,486
What about them?
145
00:07:35,527 --> 00:07:37,165
They just seem a bit specific.
146
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:40,438
I mean, Does Your Husband
Hate Your Children?
147
00:07:40,487 --> 00:07:43,957
Manic Depressives
And The Women Who Love Them.
148
00:07:44,967 --> 00:07:47,640
Living Well When You're Dead Inside.
149
00:07:47,687 --> 00:07:50,042
That last one's a real page turner.
150
00:07:50,087 --> 00:07:52,442
I don't think they deal
with what's wrong with me.
151
00:07:52,487 --> 00:07:55,206
I'm sorry, I have to prepare
for the Peter Hendry opening,
152
00:07:55,247 --> 00:07:57,477
and find an assistant for my old job.
153
00:07:57,527 --> 00:08:01,281
This is a once in a lifetime
opportunity for me and I need help.
154
00:08:01,327 --> 00:08:02,965
Oh, I've got the answer.
155
00:08:03,007 --> 00:08:04,565
You do?
156
00:08:04,607 --> 00:08:08,043
I'm too self-absorbed.
157
00:08:11,207 --> 00:08:15,200
Well done, Mr Crompton, up you come.
That's a good boy, all finished.
158
00:08:15,247 --> 00:08:17,203
- We're not done, are we?
- Mm-hm.
159
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:19,715
I am, you can spit all you like.
160
00:08:20,687 --> 00:08:22,166
That seems a little bit rushed.
161
00:08:22,207 --> 00:08:24,960
Perhaps because I was just
ploughing though.
162
00:08:25,007 --> 00:08:29,000
You know, Mr Crompton,
you're my last patient ever.
163
00:08:29,047 --> 00:08:32,926
My God,
it felt really good to say that out loud.
164
00:08:32,967 --> 00:08:34,366
I was your first patient.
165
00:08:35,367 --> 00:08:37,403
Aren't you even gonna say goodbye?
166
00:08:38,567 --> 00:08:40,000
Oh, are you still here?
167
00:08:40,047 --> 00:08:41,685
What's gonna happen to me?
168
00:08:41,727 --> 00:08:45,800
It's all right, you'll be in the impersonal
hands of the Cavitex Corporation.
169
00:08:45,847 --> 00:08:48,441
Who knows, they might even get a robot
to work on you,
170
00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:51,001
or perhaps even... an idiot.
171
00:08:51,047 --> 00:08:53,800
I thought you could use these empty boxes
for packing.
172
00:08:53,847 --> 00:08:55,439
Why? I'm not taking anything.
173
00:08:55,487 --> 00:08:59,082
After 25 years,
you must have some personal effects.
174
00:08:59,127 --> 00:09:00,685
No.
175
00:09:00,727 --> 00:09:04,037
Oh, well, I see you took the fish home.
176
00:09:04,087 --> 00:09:07,204
If by home you mean
flushed down the toilet, then yes.
177
00:09:08,407 --> 00:09:14,482
You know, Ben... I'm really gonna miss
working alongside you. I mean...
178
00:09:17,447 --> 00:09:20,803
Ah... Look at that.
179
00:09:22,407 --> 00:09:25,240
My very, very first scaler.
180
00:09:38,927 --> 00:09:41,077
Ah, that's better.
181
00:09:52,127 --> 00:09:54,766
Touch that tractor, Mr Harper,
and you'll be out this window
182
00:09:54,807 --> 00:09:57,372
quicker than you can say
Llanfairpwllgwyngyll
183
00:09:57,384 --> 00:09:59,961
gogerychwyrndrobwl-
lllantysiliogogogoch!
184
00:10:00,007 --> 00:10:02,157
- Out.
- I was only joking.
185
00:10:02,207 --> 00:10:05,563
I wasn't. As I haven't seen
a pound for this room yet,
186
00:10:05,607 --> 00:10:09,361
I'm requisitioning this room
as my model room for me toy soldiers.
187
00:10:09,407 --> 00:10:12,922
Oh, I don't mind if you do your hobby
in my room, Mr Harper.
188
00:10:12,967 --> 00:10:15,481
In fact, I'll enjoy the company.
We'll have good fun.
189
00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:18,360
Yeah, let me think about that.
190
00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:22,805
Hello, roommate.
191
00:10:29,007 --> 00:10:31,282
I want that pain in the
arse out of my room!
192
00:10:31,327 --> 00:10:34,239
I thought your father moved
into Alfie's room.
193
00:10:34,287 --> 00:10:36,596
He did, and I'm stuck with Alfie.
194
00:10:36,647 --> 00:10:39,957
Michael, relax, your father will get bored
with his hobby in a few days
195
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:42,441
- and you'll get your room back.
- That's it?
196
00:10:42,487 --> 00:10:43,920
What kind of help is that?
197
00:10:43,967 --> 00:10:45,798
Sorry, I have too many problems of my own.
198
00:10:45,847 --> 00:10:49,476
The way things are at the moment,
I won't even have time to cook.
199
00:10:49,527 --> 00:10:51,677
If you're trying to cheer
me up, it won't work.
200
00:10:51,727 --> 00:10:53,797
Hiya, Mikey, how's it going?
201
00:10:53,847 --> 00:10:55,280
- It stinks.
- Good.
202
00:10:55,327 --> 00:10:57,397
Well, you're in a good mood.
203
00:10:57,447 --> 00:11:01,520
I'm starting my new life,
I have a whole new attitude.
204
00:11:01,567 --> 00:11:03,046
But still ignoring your children?
205
00:11:03,087 --> 00:11:05,840
Yep,
but I'm doing it with a spring in my step.
206
00:11:05,887 --> 00:11:07,764
God, those place mats are awful.
207
00:11:07,807 --> 00:11:11,880
These are prints by an artist
we're showing at the gallery.
208
00:11:11,927 --> 00:11:13,804
But they're rubbish.
209
00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:16,122
There's more to art than beauty, Ben.
210
00:11:16,167 --> 00:11:22,800
Perhaps the artist wants you to feel pain
or chaos or confusion...
211
00:11:22,847 --> 00:11:25,361
You're right, they are
rubbish, aren't they?
212
00:11:27,407 --> 00:11:30,524
Just brushed my teeth.
My breath is minty fresh.
213
00:11:31,687 --> 00:11:33,996
Which side of the bed
do you want to sleep on?
214
00:11:34,047 --> 00:11:36,197
Both sides.
You get the floor.
215
00:11:36,247 --> 00:11:38,886
I have a bad back.
216
00:11:38,927 --> 00:11:40,155
Tough!
217
00:11:40,207 --> 00:11:42,004
You're turning into your father.
218
00:11:42,047 --> 00:11:44,003
Don't you ever say that!
219
00:11:45,527 --> 00:11:48,837
You know, growing up on a farm,
we used to sleep three to a bed.
220
00:11:48,887 --> 00:11:51,481
Yeah, right, you and two pigs.
221
00:11:51,527 --> 00:11:53,995
Oh, I'd forgotten I'd told you.
222
00:11:55,567 --> 00:11:58,161
I really appreciate you taking
me in like this, Michael.
223
00:11:58,207 --> 00:11:59,925
You won't even notice I'm here.
224
00:12:06,847 --> 00:12:08,565
Oh, you noticed.
225
00:12:14,767 --> 00:12:16,359
Ah!
226
00:12:21,967 --> 00:12:23,366
Wow!
227
00:12:40,487 --> 00:12:41,920
Wow!
228
00:13:11,687 --> 00:13:14,997
So, Jillian, do you think you have
the skills for this position?
229
00:13:15,047 --> 00:13:19,006
Of course, it's just answering the phone
and sticking red dots on paintings.
230
00:13:19,047 --> 00:13:20,446
A chimp could do it.
231
00:13:20,487 --> 00:13:23,047
I've been doing that job
for the last two years.
232
00:13:24,527 --> 00:13:27,564
Those red dots have to be ordered,
you know.
233
00:13:33,167 --> 00:13:34,680
Ohh!
234
00:13:37,607 --> 00:13:39,006
Great!
235
00:13:41,447 --> 00:13:44,996
OK, you lie there.
236
00:13:46,127 --> 00:13:50,882
You have been hit by musket fire
at very close range.
237
00:13:53,327 --> 00:13:55,124
So, do you think you'd fit in here?
238
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:58,364
Yeah, I love art,
239
00:13:58,407 --> 00:14:01,843
especially that bloke
who did the head of blood,
240
00:14:01,887 --> 00:14:05,323
and the one who cuts animals in half.
241
00:14:05,367 --> 00:14:07,437
You know, what's his name?
242
00:14:07,487 --> 00:14:08,886
Damien Hurst.
243
00:14:08,927 --> 00:14:11,122
Yeah, that's him.
244
00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:17,606
I find vivisection and dismemberment
really... beautiful.
245
00:14:19,127 --> 00:14:22,676
So, it'd just be you and me here alone
most of the time, huh?
246
00:14:22,727 --> 00:14:28,643
No, we have several security guards
and... and a dog.
247
00:14:28,687 --> 00:14:30,723
A very, very, very big dog.
248
00:14:49,167 --> 00:14:50,964
Get a fight started.
249
00:14:52,327 --> 00:14:53,726
Fabulous!
250
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,200
Let's get you done.
251
00:14:58,487 --> 00:15:00,284
OK, let's do it.
252
00:15:02,127 --> 00:15:04,004
Come on, babies.
253
00:15:08,887 --> 00:15:10,286
Yeah!
254
00:15:15,047 --> 00:15:17,561
I'm sorry, Colin,
but when I asked your favourite artist,
255
00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:19,758
I was thinking more Van Gogh
or Jackson Pollock,
256
00:15:20,927 --> 00:15:23,282
not... Nellie Furtado.
257
00:15:28,127 --> 00:15:31,005
Hi, Susan.
Well done on your promotion.
258
00:15:31,047 --> 00:15:32,196
Oh, thanks, Abi.
259
00:15:32,247 --> 00:15:35,205
Heard you were looking for someone
to fill your shoes.
260
00:15:35,247 --> 00:15:37,807
Oh, Abi, that's very bold of you to try,
261
00:15:37,847 --> 00:15:40,407
but, how can I put this gently?
262
00:15:40,447 --> 00:15:44,406
I don't think you have the grace or the
style that a job like this demands.
263
00:15:44,447 --> 00:15:50,124
I think... intellectually, culturally
and dare I say it, socially,
264
00:15:50,167 --> 00:15:52,044
you'd be way out of your depth.
265
00:15:52,087 --> 00:15:56,285
Actually, I just dropped by
with your congratulations card...
266
00:15:57,527 --> 00:15:59,165
but thanks for your opinion.
267
00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,958
You have to push.
268
00:16:08,847 --> 00:16:10,758
Oh, no!
269
00:16:33,247 --> 00:16:36,000
But why do we always have to get Chinese?
270
00:16:36,047 --> 00:16:38,277
Because you like Chinese.
271
00:16:40,327 --> 00:16:42,636
OK, fine, we'll order Indian.
272
00:16:42,687 --> 00:16:44,245
You know what curry does to me.
273
00:16:44,287 --> 00:16:46,323
Now we share a room, I do.
274
00:16:46,367 --> 00:16:49,165
You two really need to work things out.
275
00:16:49,207 --> 00:16:51,198
It's not me, it's him. He's impossible.
276
00:16:51,247 --> 00:16:54,045
Couples often assign blame.
277
00:16:54,087 --> 00:16:55,486
Not couple.
278
00:16:55,527 --> 00:16:58,758
Look, I picked up some great new books
at the library,
279
00:16:58,807 --> 00:17:01,037
and I really think I could help you.
280
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:03,078
You've read all of those?
281
00:17:03,127 --> 00:17:06,597
No, just the dust jackets,
but there's a lot of good stuff here.
282
00:17:06,647 --> 00:17:11,198
Personally, I think an objective
point of view couldn't hurt.
283
00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:12,965
I'm too hungry to care.
284
00:17:13,007 --> 00:17:15,601
Then, may I make a suggestion?
Pizza?
285
00:17:18,407 --> 00:17:20,204
- I could do that.
- She's good.
286
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:21,646
Take a seat.
287
00:17:22,807 --> 00:17:25,480
I'm going to ask you both
a few questions.
288
00:17:25,527 --> 00:17:28,519
You see, I suspect
that the fabric of your relationship
289
00:17:28,567 --> 00:17:30,797
is in the throes
of an enmeshed dysfunctional...
290
00:17:30,847 --> 00:17:32,963
Just ask your bloody questions!
291
00:17:35,567 --> 00:17:37,842
- How's your sex life?
- Pretty good.
292
00:17:37,887 --> 00:17:40,879
- What?!
- I'm saying, pretty good.
293
00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:42,485
Oh, us, God, no!
294
00:17:43,487 --> 00:17:45,000
- This is ridiculous.
- Mikey...
295
00:17:45,047 --> 00:17:47,163
I'm willing to work through our issues...
296
00:17:50,727 --> 00:17:53,195
but he is distant and closed off.
297
00:17:53,247 --> 00:17:55,050
Michael, you have to be
open if you're going
298
00:17:55,062 --> 00:17:56,876
to make progress in
your relationship.
299
00:17:56,927 --> 00:18:00,158
I'm not in a relationship,
I'm ordering pizza.
300
00:18:00,207 --> 00:18:01,606
It takes time.
301
00:18:04,247 --> 00:18:05,646
Morning.
302
00:18:05,687 --> 00:18:07,882
It's... night.
303
00:18:08,927 --> 00:18:11,316
Dad, you all right?
304
00:18:11,367 --> 00:18:14,404
I'm fine, Mikey, fine, fine.
305
00:18:14,447 --> 00:18:17,007
Just looking for some butter...
306
00:18:19,967 --> 00:18:23,676
to, erm... get this soldier off my face.
307
00:18:24,887 --> 00:18:27,447
I'm... I'm dizzy.
308
00:18:27,487 --> 00:18:29,671
I'm not surprised, you've
been in your hobby
309
00:18:29,683 --> 00:18:31,878
room all day inhaling
paint and glue.
310
00:18:31,927 --> 00:18:36,876
Janey, just cos I've got a soldier
stuck to my face, doesn't mean that I'm...
311
00:18:39,647 --> 00:18:41,046
Morning.
312
00:18:47,367 --> 00:18:50,677
Oh, well, hello, you're really late.
313
00:18:50,727 --> 00:18:53,002
Well, there was so much to do at work.
314
00:18:54,287 --> 00:18:56,960
Walls to retouch, pictures to hang...
315
00:18:57,967 --> 00:18:59,525
caterers to organise.
316
00:19:00,767 --> 00:19:02,883
Don't you have people to do that for you?
317
00:19:02,927 --> 00:19:05,236
Um, yes, but...
318
00:19:06,927 --> 00:19:08,360
they left.
319
00:19:08,407 --> 00:19:12,116
- You fired them, didn't you?
- I didn't like their tone.
320
00:19:12,167 --> 00:19:14,965
- All of them?
- They were in cahoots.
321
00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:20,644
So, still enjoying doing nothing?
322
00:19:20,687 --> 00:19:23,155
I would hardly call it doing nothing.
323
00:19:23,207 --> 00:19:26,199
I'll have you know
I'm retreating from Moscow tomorrow.
324
00:19:26,247 --> 00:19:27,965
Sounds exciting.
325
00:19:28,007 --> 00:19:29,440
It's very exciting.
326
00:19:29,487 --> 00:19:34,038
Very, and I've got a thousand figures
still to paint.
327
00:19:35,047 --> 00:19:36,446
I can't wait.
328
00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:41,607
- I could help you at the gallery.
- You're bored, aren't you?
329
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:44,002
Susan, it's like watching paint dry.
330
00:19:45,367 --> 00:19:47,562
No, wait, it is watching paint dry.
331
00:19:50,047 --> 00:19:51,526
- A little to the right.
- Mm-hm.
332
00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:53,444
Down.
333
00:19:53,487 --> 00:19:55,125
Now, up a little to the left.
334
00:19:55,167 --> 00:19:56,566
More.
335
00:19:57,767 --> 00:19:59,092
More.
336
00:19:59,104 --> 00:20:00,440
You just cancelled out
what I've just done.
337
00:20:00,487 --> 00:20:02,318
It's still crooked.
338
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,244
Up a little to the left now.
339
00:20:05,887 --> 00:20:07,400
Up a little to the right.
340
00:20:07,887 --> 00:20:09,957
I think, you know...
341
00:20:10,007 --> 00:20:13,443
Ah, yes,
yeah, yeah, yeah, I see the problem.
342
00:20:13,487 --> 00:20:15,125
Ah, perfect.
343
00:20:15,767 --> 00:20:18,327
I forgot to do the flowers
and I still need to do the floor.
344
00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:19,766
Floor?
345
00:20:19,807 --> 00:20:23,641
You don't think you could figure out
how to work this thing, do you?
346
00:20:23,687 --> 00:20:26,485
Hello, hello,
I've been polishing teeth all my life,
347
00:20:26,527 --> 00:20:28,119
I think I can buff a floor.
348
00:20:28,167 --> 00:20:30,556
Thank you, thank you,
I'll be back in an hour.
349
00:20:31,607 --> 00:20:34,838
Remind me to do that thing you like, later.
350
00:20:34,887 --> 00:20:37,082
What, with a French accent and everything?
351
00:20:37,127 --> 00:20:39,004
But of course, monsieur.
352
00:20:40,367 --> 00:20:43,245
OK, baby, let's see
what kind of horsepower you've got.
353
00:20:43,287 --> 00:20:46,438
Easy, easy, easy!
When I'm ready, OK?
354
00:20:46,487 --> 00:20:48,045
Good.
355
00:20:50,607 --> 00:20:52,006
Ooh!
356
00:20:52,047 --> 00:20:55,198
Ooh, you feel good.
You feel good.
357
00:20:55,687 --> 00:20:58,155
OK, baby, let's do it.
358
00:22:52,527 --> 00:22:55,678
- What are you doing?
- Yoga.
359
00:22:55,727 --> 00:22:58,400
Your clothes would restrict you how?
360
00:23:01,127 --> 00:23:03,561
Yoga is important to me.
361
00:23:03,607 --> 00:23:06,326
I need it to realign my chakras every day.
362
00:23:06,367 --> 00:23:09,200
You might wanna wash your chakras
occasionally.
363
00:23:09,247 --> 00:23:12,717
OK, let's try a little
role reversal, shall we?
364
00:23:12,767 --> 00:23:14,883
Alfie, you be Michael,
Michael, you be Alfie.
365
00:23:14,927 --> 00:23:16,326
You go first.
366
00:23:16,367 --> 00:23:20,645
- All right.
- Hm, I think I'll give up yoga.
367
00:23:22,007 --> 00:23:23,679
I didn't mean like that.
368
00:23:23,727 --> 00:23:25,240
Alfie, you try.
369
00:23:25,287 --> 00:23:27,039
Hello, I'm Michael.
370
00:23:27,087 --> 00:23:30,636
I hide my sexual frustration
behind a studious facade.
371
00:23:30,687 --> 00:23:33,360
- That's it!
- OK, OK, OK, OK!
372
00:23:33,407 --> 00:23:36,683
Michael, you just have to accept
that Alfie likes yoga.
373
00:23:36,727 --> 00:23:40,402
Alfie, you have to accept
that Michael's sexually frustrated.
374
00:23:40,447 --> 00:23:42,403
You're not helping.
375
00:23:42,447 --> 00:23:46,884
All I'm saying is, you both want each other
to be the person you want them to be,
376
00:23:46,927 --> 00:23:48,997
and not the person they are.
377
00:23:49,047 --> 00:23:52,084
Like you've done with every guy
you've ever gone out with?
378
00:23:52,127 --> 00:23:53,765
What are you talking about?
379
00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:57,436
He's saying, you're assigning
your own problems and issues to others.
380
00:23:57,487 --> 00:23:59,523
It's a textbook case of projection.
381
00:24:01,487 --> 00:24:03,682
Maybe you're right.
382
00:24:03,727 --> 00:24:05,399
Poor Richard.
383
00:24:05,447 --> 00:24:08,564
I dumped him because he smiled a lot.
384
00:24:08,607 --> 00:24:10,438
I'm going to call him.
385
00:24:12,647 --> 00:24:14,763
Well, I think we've all had a breakthrough.
386
00:24:14,807 --> 00:24:16,559
Don't you dare try to hug me.
387
00:24:19,687 --> 00:24:21,086
Perfect!
388
00:24:23,287 --> 00:24:27,280
- Oh, Ben, it's beautiful.
- I know, I know. You're welcome.
389
00:24:27,327 --> 00:24:31,878
I'm almost frightened to walk on it,
it's so... Ohh!
390
00:24:35,367 --> 00:24:37,244
How much wax did you use?
391
00:24:37,287 --> 00:24:39,437
I mean, it's the usual...
392
00:24:42,287 --> 00:24:43,845
Ben!
393
00:24:53,007 --> 00:24:55,919
- Richard.
- Janey, I was glad you called,
394
00:24:55,967 --> 00:24:58,640
- I've been so miserable.
- Me too.
395
00:24:58,687 --> 00:25:02,600
Look, I know I messed things up,
but I took a good hard look at myself,
396
00:25:02,647 --> 00:25:06,686
and from now on I'm going to be
more understanding and less critical.
397
00:25:06,727 --> 00:25:11,084
And I'm gonna try and be more upbeat,
cos I think we make a great couple,
398
00:25:11,127 --> 00:25:14,358
and I can see us being together
for a long, long time.
399
00:25:18,487 --> 00:25:20,284
I'm sorry, I can't do it.
400
00:25:22,287 --> 00:25:27,884
Really, this work is best appreciated
from below the painting, looking upward.
401
00:25:34,367 --> 00:25:36,085
Excuse me a moment.
402
00:25:36,527 --> 00:25:37,926
Ben?
403
00:25:39,767 --> 00:25:41,200
Ben.
404
00:25:41,247 --> 00:25:42,999
Help yourself to a drink.
405
00:25:44,807 --> 00:25:46,365
A word.
406
00:25:51,287 --> 00:25:52,686
Ohh!
407
00:25:54,087 --> 00:25:55,884
I think it's going well.
408
00:25:58,927 --> 00:26:01,919
Now, come on,
it wasn't all that bad, you know.
409
00:26:05,527 --> 00:26:08,439
Are you sure you should be drinking that
on your medication?
410
00:26:08,487 --> 00:26:11,047
After tonight, I don't care.
411
00:26:12,087 --> 00:26:14,647
I thought it was pretty memorable.
412
00:26:16,887 --> 00:26:22,405
It was like the first 20 minutes
of Saving Private Ryan... on ice.
413
00:26:23,847 --> 00:26:26,361
I don't know how I'm going to pay
for the damages.
414
00:26:26,407 --> 00:26:30,923
Ah, well, there you go, there you go, you
see, good old Ben to the rescue again.
415
00:26:30,967 --> 00:26:34,403
Look at this, look what I've got here -
a little letter from Cavitex,
416
00:26:34,447 --> 00:26:38,918
which means, inside,
ha, ha, ha, the cheque.
417
00:26:38,967 --> 00:26:40,366
Look at...
418
00:26:40,407 --> 00:26:43,001
That's... That can't be right.
419
00:26:44,647 --> 00:26:46,399
You did read the contract, didn't you?
420
00:26:48,327 --> 00:26:50,158
I'm not an idiot, Susan.
421
00:26:54,127 --> 00:26:57,915
- It's fine, don't worry!
- Did you forget something?
422
00:26:57,967 --> 00:26:59,400
- Hello, Mr Griffith.
- Hello.
423
00:26:59,447 --> 00:27:03,645
Ah... I was thinking, about the way you
begged me to stay, and I understand that,
424
00:27:03,687 --> 00:27:06,759
and I am prepared to share
my years of experience
425
00:27:06,807 --> 00:27:09,241
with you and the Cavitex family.
426
00:27:09,287 --> 00:27:11,954
As I recall, Mr Harper,
you said that Cavitex
427
00:27:11,966 --> 00:27:14,645
is precisely what's wrong
with dentistry today.
428
00:27:14,687 --> 00:27:16,632
Then, just before telling
me to stick it, you said
429
00:27:16,644 --> 00:27:18,600
you'd no interest in
being a cog in a machine
430
00:27:18,647 --> 00:27:22,526
and called this poxy surgery
a stinking hellhole.
431
00:27:24,367 --> 00:27:26,323
You, sir, have a good memory.
432
00:27:27,687 --> 00:27:29,723
Are we done here, Mr Harper?
433
00:27:29,767 --> 00:27:33,442
Look, Mr Griffith, please,
I am... I am a man of dignity,
434
00:27:33,487 --> 00:27:36,877
but in this case,
I'm prepared to drop that out of a window
435
00:27:36,927 --> 00:27:40,283
and beg you on my knees, please.
I'll do anything, anything!
436
00:27:40,327 --> 00:27:43,364
Well, I can't deny you'd be a
valuable asset to the Cavitex team.
437
00:27:43,407 --> 00:27:48,481
Team, team, that's it, you see.
Hello, hello, I'm a team player.
438
00:27:48,527 --> 00:27:50,006
Welcome aboard, Harper.
439
00:27:51,207 --> 00:27:52,845
Oh, yeah, of course.
440
00:27:53,927 --> 00:27:55,758
Actually, it's good timing on your part,
441
00:27:55,807 --> 00:27:58,480
we're about to take some photos
for the company newsletter.
442
00:27:58,527 --> 00:28:01,166
- Oh, sure.
- Diana, send in the photographer, please.
443
00:28:01,207 --> 00:28:02,606
- Yes, sir.
- This way.
444
00:28:02,647 --> 00:28:06,799
You do realise that Cavitex demands
the highest standard from its employees?
445
00:28:06,847 --> 00:28:09,805
- No, no, of course.
- Ah, good, here they are. Come in.
446
00:28:13,967 --> 00:28:15,366
Is this really necessary?
447
00:28:15,407 --> 00:28:17,204
No, but it makes me happy.
448
00:28:17,247 --> 00:28:20,319
Right, you two, nice and close.
That's it, cuddle up.
449
00:28:21,847 --> 00:28:23,724
Relax, Ben, it's me.
450
00:28:27,007 --> 00:28:28,599
Come on.
35031
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