All language subtitles for Gossip.Girl.2021.S01E01.WEBRip.x264-ION10

If You guys want to know
how I keep my face fresh

after early morning travel,

I've reposted my crucial
fight-the-flight...

I am so excited to see my
girls Monet and Luna today.

Yay!

Hey, Dad.

I'm in LA tonight
for a session with Billie.

Ooh.
I'll be back Friday, okay?

Have a great first day.
I already am.

You know, you're not
normally this excited

for the first day of school.

Well, it's better than being
stuck in here for another year.

No shit.

Bye.

You're gonna be late.
He's always late.

Okay, here's your lunch.

- And your ice pack.
Mm, perfect. Okay.

Okay.

- Okay.
- Love you.

Bye, Dad. Bye, Pop. Bye, Rocky.

- Here you go.

- Thank you, Obie.
- Anytime, Murray.

Sorry it's taking
me a long time.

We were together all
quarantine. It's fine.

You used to like it when
it took me a long time.

Where's my freshman?

Fresh-woman?

Fresh-person.

- Fresh-princess!
- Dad, please. No.

Sorry, I'm just excited.
It's your first day.

It's another day,
no first anything.

Constance Billard is one of
the top 10 private schools

in the country, with one
of the best arts programs.

Full of the type of
people whose values

- I was able to shield you from...
- Kids are bad all over.

Even in Buffalo.

We had to leave.

And we couldn't pass
up the scholarship.

I mean, at Constance, my college
choices are so much better.

Say it with me, Yale Drama.

- And...
- Yes, she's a student there,

but I doubt I'll
even get to meet her.

You're not even sure
she knows I exist.

She's your half-sister,
she knows you exist.

Well then, I don't
want to meet her.

Because she never
accepted my friend request

I sent when I was 10.

Thank you for breakfast.

Bye, Dad.

- I love you.
- You too.

- Good luck.
- Thank you.

- Bye.
- Hey, where'd you get those?

Hmm?

Moving gift from
Bella. Remember?

Huh.

- Lune?
- The brick'll wash her out.

Up and to the left.

New EIP.

Ew. Go!

Don't they have their own
entrance or something?

I'm standing here.
You see me, don't you?

Okay come on, let's do this.

Okay. So, experience is:

"Arrival, first day,
uh, junior year."

Um, so just back
up a little bit.

Back up a little more.

Okay. Now, show me the bag.

Sorry, Ms. Keller, I
didn't see you there.

Um, it wasn't your fault.

She almost destroyed
your Capucine.

It'd take her whole month's
salary to replace it.

Rayon gives me nosebleeds.
Could you move?

God, now
the light's off.

- Kate?
- Yeah?

Thought we were meeting inside.

We should have a
no-Zara rule at school.

Zara, east of Lex only.

I don't know why I still
expect them to be nice.

I guess a year of
Zoom boxes fooled me?

That's only 'cause
you couldn't see

what they were
texting beneath them.

Oh, no.

First day of school and
Wendy's already sad.

The headmistress would like
to speak with you, Martine.

Right this way.

This
is why I bring a Yeti.

When the horde sets their alarms

to go off in unison
during a pop quiz,

I don't spill on
myself when I scream.

I could get you one.

It took me an
hour to pick out an outfit

I thought they
wouldn't make fun off.

And it took them one
second to prove me wrong.

If Julien wore that, Urban would
be mass producing knockoffs

by third period.

They just pick on
us 'cause they can.

Because no one says not to.

And if you try to fail them,

between your laptop
and the office,

an F becomes a C.

And a C becomes valedictorian

and a top spot at the
Ivy of their choice.

This school produced
great people.

Caroline Kennedy,
Colson Whitehead,

Nate Archibald.

It's why I wanted to teach here.

It's
not like Nate Archibald

was such a saint
when we started.

- You went here, Rebecca?
- Class of '09.

Back when we still
respected authority.

Now, they can't be controlled
because we've ceased to matter.

Who needs an education when you're
famous for putting on your makeup?

- But you said Nate...
- When I was a student,

we lived under constant threat.

People like Nate
were scared straight.

How?

Yeah, I'd try anything
at this point.

It was this thing that
started freshman year,

called itself Gossip Girl.

Kind of like an
Orwellian Big Sister.

Kept tabs on students
it deemed important.

- Kept tabs?
- If she knew your secrets,

and she always did,

she told them. She kept
us all accountable.

People thought it was me,

but it was actually
one of my classmates.

- Dan Humphrey.
- The novelist?

I think I remember
reading about this.

It was ridiculous. I
wouldn't even read it.

It's a blog. Haven't seen
one of these in years.

Last post, nine years ago.

Ooh, there's an archive.

Some dead links,
but pretty cool.

Wish I thought of this
when I was in high school.

We're still
in high school.

Maybe we should try it?

What are we looking at?

Hey, hey, keep it moving.
Please and thank you.

- Oh! The sun's arrived.
He has indeed.

Maxi!

Air only. She's still setting.

- Obie!
- Hi.

You're rumpled and sweaty.

That suddenly
bothers you... why?

You said you'd do my story.

Shit, I forgot.

He forgot.

I was...

I was bringing breakfast to
the Navy Yard strike line,

but I saved you one.

Fan-Fan, your favorite.

Hey, isn't that your
parents' development?

Yeah, it is. And they
know exactly how I feel.

That the very least the
strikers deserve is donuts.

And what about what I deserve?

I will clean up during
free period, I promise.

Okay, at this point, it's gonna be a graduation story.
Julien!

- So can we...
- Audrey!

- Welcome back, guys.
- Yo, what's up?

Well, well, if it isn't the
Seven Samurai all together again.

You can change the group
chat name all you want,

- it's not sticking.
- You'll get Kurosawa one day.

Is that what your face
looks like without a mask?

Hope, been a few.

Since when do you
show up on time

for the first day of the school?

Guess all those months away
gave me a renewed interest

in the student body.

- Yours included.
- Okay, soft focus, soft focus.

And east so your
face gets the sun.

The gram can wait, ladies.
She's looking for her sister.

- She's not my sister.
- A DNA test would disagree.

She's just half.

- Mm, you have a sister?
- He was busy at Berghain.

And you promised
never to mention her.

It's a big deal, and we
should not pretend otherwise.

She enrolled and moved
here like some stalker.

And if it wasn't for
Headmistress Burton,

who gave JC a heads-up, we
wouldn't have even known.

Their dads hate each other.

Oh, I remember.

She's from when your mom
ran off on you and your dad?

Yeah, and if he
knew Zoya was here,

he would pull me out of
school or the hemisphere.

That's how angry he still is.

I can't believe she
didn't tell you herself.

Guys, it's okay.

She and I don't even
know each other.

We don't owe each
other anything.

And besides, I have everyone I need
right here, live and in person.

Family drama is so not my thing.

I'm more of a medical
procedural kind of guy,

two Addys to get
me through Calc,

and a benzo to slumber
through Vicki Fic.

Is that her?

Should we
throw our lattes on her?

Turmeric stains forever.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

I can't see freshmen.

I like her shoes.

This Chuck and Blair
thing is out of control.

Definitely pre-cancel culture.

Did you get to the part

where she was princess
of Monaco for six months?

Or when a high school senior

got a story published
in the New Yorker?

As a writer, I'm
a little jealous.

I mean, these posts are like
a lost Edith Wharton novel.

And just as white.

It goes to show, this
school has always been

a breeding ground for the
worst kinds of people.

Is
it really their fault

they inherited
power and influence

the minute they were born

without any examples
of how not to abuse it?

You're defending them? After
what they just did to you?

I'm only saying we're
their last hope.

We're supposed to send them
out of here Barack Obamas,

instead of Brett Kavanaughs.

How? We have no power.

Sure we do.

Fucking got fired.

The headmistress was on
the phone with parents

- all morning.
- Parents?

It was something about me refusing
to change a grade last year?

And there were other
teachers waiting when I left.

I mean, it's a...
It's a blood bath.

Today, the first day of school?

If you want to show you're in
charge, you need an audience.

Who's our last hope, Kate?

We could be next.

You don't have to be.

What's this?

Power.

Let's see if this
gets their attention.

Let me see it.

Yours is better.

No way. My friend did
mine with a seam ripper.

- Okay, true.

I got mine done by Dr. Woo.

But still, I'm so happy
to finally meet you.

You're not just in my
chat history anymore,

- you're actually here.
- I know. Davis?

No idea. Nick?

Knows you go here, but thinks
you have no idea who I am.

So
we're good for now.

Julien Elizabeth.

- Zoya Jane.

I can't believe
you're really here.

I know, I thought no fucking
way my dad would go for moving.

But when I got
the scholarship...

I can't believe we
pulled this off.

That's not what I meant. I...

I can't believe
you're really here.

You look just like her.

I have this whole plan to incorporate
you into our friend group.

- Are you sure you can't just...
- This'll be easier.

They'll like you for
you and not because

you're related to me.
Met Steps at 11:00.

I was told freshmen don't
have open campus privileges.

We own this school.
They work for us.

Do you like the sneakers?

- I feel a little weird about...
- They were free.

Don't even worry about it.

And I've already
planted the seed

that I liked them on you.

So I'll wave you over to
get them for my story, okay?

Just like we planned.

Now get to class. I can be
late, but you shouldn't.

You're here!

Dumbo Hall tonight, dears.

And a reminder, it
is fashion week,

so accoutre accordingly.

I'm actually stuffing
envelopes after school,

so I'll be late.

And probably rumpled and sweaty.

And you said you
would come with me.

Yeah, just so you'd
quit asking me.

- Who waits for the light?
- She's not from here.

I still don't know who
you're talking about.

You know what would trend
faster than a fall fashion fail?

A "secret sister" splosh video.

I've got the heels, and I'd love
nothing more than to just...

Hey!

Are those Bey Superstars?

- Yeah.
- Can I get a picture?

Just 'cause our dads
hate each other,

doesn't mean we have to, right?

What are you doing?

What if she's cool?

She has a headband on.

It's actually
a scarf. It was my...

Our mom's.

Let's do this instead.

The Right To The City Alliance?

Yeah, they... I, uh,
I volunteer with them.

See, someone else
has heard of it.

They're doing great work.

They try
to halt displacement

of marginalized communities
in historic neighborhoods.

My grandpa used to work with
them until he passed away.

If you ever need
another body, I'm in.

I've been trying to get this
guy to go for, like, months.

I think it's cool
you work with them.

You ever heard of
the guilty rich?

- This one's the guiltiest.
- And the richest.

- What's your handle?
- Uh, ALottaZee, with two E's.

As soon as I post this,

you're gonna get a
load of new followers.

Pro tip: Best to use your name.

- That way, anyone can find you.

Why would I want
people to find me?

How would you like to hang out
with us tonight at Dumbo Hall?

It's this members-only
club we go to.

I don't know, it's
a school night.

Lordy, Lordy, Lordy.

If you close your eyes, she
disappears, I'm telling you.

- We don't stay out late.
- We don't?

I'm not a member.

I'll put you on the list.

So as long as
everyone else agrees?

Maybe my Xanny just kicked
in, but I say why not.

She's cute enough.

It would be nice to have
someone to run errands.

Sure.

Welcome.

See you at 7:00.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Peace.

Not even a like.
- As if it didn't happen.

We should've known. Is anyone
under 30 even on Twitter?

I'd delete that if I were you.

Retaliation never
works. Ask my ex-wives.

I'm not a lesbian.

Trio of sad incoming.

Which one of them
should I get fired next?

What did you just say?

No, I wasn't talking to you.

About you, maybe, but... that
depends on your behavior.

But I'm pretty sure
you know that now.

My house, tonight.

So, we covered your
commute, your classes,

the creepy hot dog guy
who liked your uniform...

Okay, Dad.

I saw her once from across
the courtyard. That's it.

And I'm pretty sure
that's how it's gonna be.

But...

- I met some great new people.
- Hmm.

And one of them invited me
to go get gelato with her.

- Oh, that's nice.
Tonight.

- Well...
- In the Village.

No way. It's a school night.

Come on, Dad, this
is New York City.

Seven o'clock here is
like four in Buffalo.

And if I say no to
the first invitation,

who knows if I'll get any more?

So long as you're back by 9:00.

Nine?

If you prove to me you can
be responsible this time,

maybe you'll be able to say
yes to those future invitations

and stay out even longer.

Fair. Thank you.

Hey. Jimmy, right?
- Mm-hmm.

I'm Zoya, we just moved...
We're staying at my grandma's.

Did someone drop something off?

Yeah, the courier
said not to call up.

It's a... It's a
surprise for my dad.

Twitter is a
glorified chat room

for meme sharing,
conspiracy theorists,

and Lin-Manuel Miranda.

If we really want
to get attention,

it's Instagram only.

Gossip Girl was also
voice-y. It drew you in.

"Spotted: Chuck Bass
losing something

no one knew he had: His heart."

I can write in that style.

And we need to tag people
for maximum effect.

That way we know they'll see it.

- The whole school?
Just the popular kids,

like Serenas, Blairs,
Nates, and Chucks.

Make them think there's another
Dan Humphrey in their midst.

Gossip Girl would
have been nothing

without Blair versus Serena.

Their rivalry launched
her. We need our own.

Well, clearly
Monet and everyone.

Monet's
the school villain.

No one cares.

We need to center someone
people are actually drawn to.

Like Julien.

Not only is she famous,
people actually like her.

Julien has no rival.

Who knew what Blair and
Serena's relationship

was actually like?

Gossip Girl's
perception was reality.

So we create our own.

- Who do we think Julien might...
- Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

We might not have
to make up anything.

You know about
her sister, right?

I was on her admissions panel.

But do you know
how she got there?

Is that real?

Better than I could've imagined.

So you'll use that?

The old Gossip Girl knew
how to tease things out.

She got their attention first,
and then went in for the kill.

So we do the same.

We wait on this.

Just a little bit.

You ready to, uh,
take the power back,

do some good, and
save the future?

I'm gonna need your
Gossip Girl voice

to be better than
your real voice.

It is.

- I say we do it.
- You got my vote.

Hello,
followers. Gossip Girl here.

Your one and only
source for the truth

behind the scandalous
lies of New York's elite.

Been a minute. Did you miss me?

I know I've missed you.

Though you're
probably going to wish

I'd stayed away when I'm done.

Because I can see you.

Not the you you've
oh-so-carefully curated.

The real you.

The one hiding just
outside the edge of frame.

Well, it's time to
reframe that picture.

You've gotten away with
everything a little too long.

Now that I'm back,

I'm gonna feature your finstas,

surface those subtweets,
and crack your caches.

You can't hide from
me. Never could.

And to prove it,
there's a big secret

amongst the ruling class
at Constance Billard.

And as you will
soon come to know,

no good secret goes unpublished.

Watch this space.

Or don't.

You'll hear about it
soon enough either way.

Till then,

XOXO, Gossip Girl.

- Um, did you see
that thing we were tagged in?

You turned off my
notifications, remember?

What kind of person calls
themselves Gossip Girl?

Yeah, it's the 21st century.
At least be a Gossip Woman.

Is this that Syosset
strip mall party store

that tried to offer
me a sponsorship deal?

Probably some regional tween
hoping to boost his TikTok.

- Blocked and buried.

Mm, where's Obie?

Whoa, I did not
recognize you at all.

Um, it's the dress.

It's new.

Yeah, it looks like, uh

you look like Julien.

Is that a compliment?

It's typical for you to
be so trusting and open.

That's why people follow you.
They think that they know you

and they feel
entitled to your life,

which they aren't.

Zoya's not some
crazy stalker, Audge.

But she is a semi-stranger

who has, by some
fortuitous coincidence,

found herself at your school,

- in your friend group...

With your boyfriend?

I'm gonna get us another
round. We're gonna need it.

Look, I, um... I
almost forgot, I...

I brought you this.

And I don't know if it goes
with the dress or whatever...

It goes with
everything. Thank you.

Hey.
What up, Obes?

Hey.

Thank you for coming. You
only have to stay an hour,

and then I'll come to whatever
rally you want next time.

- He hates this place.
- Yes, I do. Very much so, yes.

I mean, if one tenth
of these people donated

the price of one drink to a
charity of their choice...

They are the charity
of their choice, Obes,

and that one drink is
to help them forget

what people like
you ask of them.

As for me, I have got very
tight plans for the night.

A bourbon, couple
bumps, è tutto.

It's a school night, after all.

Aren't you tired of playing
"who's going to win tonight?"

Well, it's not a
game if everyone can.

Nice hand-me-down.

- Audrey.
It's clearly not hers.

It's a fact. I'm
speaking factually.

- Um, she's right. Julien...
- A gift. The first of many.

To make up for the ones

we didn't get to
give each other.

Olives or twist?

I say twist.

You don't have to drink.
We don't peer pressure.

Yeah, I don't.

- Topo Chico?
- Thanks.

More for me.

Constance can be a great school
if you know how to play it.

I'll tell you everything
you need in order to do so.

St. Jude's used to
be its own building,

and the boys still
act like it is.

The only place we really mix is
out front or in the courtyard.

Be careful. It's a fishbowl,

so look your best, because
you will be watched.

We use IG for stories,
Signal for sexts,

and WhatsApp for abroad,
and Messages to chat.

- What about YouTube?
Don't interrupt.

Especially not to say "YouTube."

Personalize your uniform.
Freshmen are scared to,

but you shouldn't be.
It makes you unique,

and it's a middle
finger to the matriarchy

who haven't realized
they're upholding a system

the patriarchy put into place.

Sant Ambroeus or Yura for coffee,
Starbucks for group orders.

The Met Steps or the Great Lawn
to hang, not the south side.

JG Melon's for burgers,
though they check IDs.

Momoya if you're west.
Mezzaluna, not Sarafina's.

Sweetgreen, but for pickup
only. Dumbo Hall, not House.

And Lyft, never Uber.
Black, never Lux.

And don't use your real
address. For privacy and safety,

- always a block away.
- I take the bus.

You probably come from a school

where people get to
know their teachers.

Nobody does that here.

They're never around long enough

to develop a
relationship with anyway.

- They're always leaving.
- Whether they want to or not.

Probably because private
school teachers get paid

substantially less than
public school ones.

- They do?
That explains so much.

- Zara.
- Zara.

It's criminal how
little they make.

Less than customer
service representatives,

executive assistants,
retail salespeople.

Oh my God.

And wouldn't Ms. Keller be
so much happier at Madewell?

Yeah, Jules, come on.
She works really hard.

Ms. Keller actually
interviewed me

for the scholarship. I
thought she was great.

Right, I've been trying to
get her to get this for years.

Oh my God. Um,
what's your number?

I'll add you to the group text.

I'm gonna go find my boyfriend.

Poor Audrey Hope. Married
and monogamous at 16.

Nothing poor about it.
Don't straight-shame me.

Do you ever miss coloring
outside the lines?

Or did you never?

So with all the
people in this room,

at this very moment,

you want to spend your
augmented energy on me?

I don't know what it
is with you and Ak,

but something's different.

In a good way?

Oh, yeah. The best way.

This isn't on my
plan for tonight.

It's all yours if you want it.

You want it?

Oh well.

What are you doing?

What's going on?

Shh.

- Huh?

Spotted: Calloway
and her crew at Dumbo Hall

with a little something
extra, her sudden sis.

Sorry to crash the party, JC,

but I've got a pic that says

the thousand words
you've yet to utter.

Everyone knows, 15 years ago,

Mama Marion dumped DJ Davis for
a new life with Nick Nobody,

yet sadly passed before she
could see her daughters united.

Yet unite they have.

Though you wouldn't
know it to look at them.

Never met before?
That's the ruse.

Zoya's entrance to Constance

was signed, sealed,
and deceitful.

Or didn't you know? On
the Upper East Side,

scholarships aren't
granted, they're gifted.

What is this thing
talking about?

How should I know?

I got that scholarship
on my own, right?

- You didn't buy that for me.
- Of course not.

My dad gives money
to the school,

part of which goes to
fund the art scholarship.

He doesn't have time to
read the apps, so I do.

And since you have a
passion for theater...

Did you know when you
asked me to apply for it

that you would be the one
deciding who gets put forward?

Wh... what?

Did someone deserve
it more than me?

Why would you think someone else
deserves something more than you?

Wait, you two already
know each other?

- On purpose?
- Who cares?

Refresh, it's gone already.

Why would you lie?

We don't lie to each other.

If our dads knew, they never
would have let her move here.

They just found out.

Didn't they?

- My dad's not on Instagram.
- My dad's publicist runs his.

And we are not your dad.

I know. It's just, I wanted
to make sure that we...

- That I...
- Liked me?

- No, that's not...
Oh, oh, oh.

So you were afraid
that Z would be Z's.

I don't want to
lose my place here.

In fact, I can't... I can't
actually afford to stay here

without that scholarship.

So please, make it make sense,

who would do
something like this?

Students work in the office.

Someone is clearly
trying to fuck with me,

but it's nothing.

It's just gossip. We're fine.

It doesn't matter.

Nobody cares, right?
Do any of you care?

I'm gonna go.

You said you would
do the story first.

You could've told me.

- I'll walk out with you.
- Yeah.

You know, what
Julien said is right.

I mean, the whole
Gossip Girl thing,

it's just somebody
playing a game.

It's a lot of trouble
for just a game.

I mean, creating an
account, teasing us all day,

and then dropping a bomb just
to publicly shame her and me?

It comes with
the territory up here.

And if you have something
that people want,

you have something to lose.

Right? People try
and take us down.

They never can, though.

And you're one of us now.

- Oh, shit!

- Shit, shit, shit, shit...
- All right, look, the C station

is just a few more
blocks up, all right?

And what happens when I get out
at the other end, where it's four?

I don't know if I have
to give this dress back.

I do live right there,

if you wanna just wait
it out with me for a bit?

- Yes, sure, okay.
- Yeah, okay, all right.

- Just for a bit.
- Great.

You have the whole floor?

Um, the building.

Uh, if you... If want
to give me your dress,

I can go hang it in the sauna
and it'll be dry in no time.

And then,

you know, you can just
borrow an umbrella.

Oh. Okay. Um,
where can I change?

If we get these floors
wet, my mom will kill me.

So...

I won't look.

You have my word.

Okay.

Ready when you are.

Mm-hmm. I'll grab you a sweater.

I'm sorry Julien didn't
tell you about me.

I am too.

Not surprised, though.

I shouldn't...

I shouldn't say that.
You're her sister.

I am, but,

God, even I barely know her.

Sometimes it's just feels like
we're not even dating anymore.

Really, you know, like I'm just

this actor, and I'm playing
her boyfriend in her story.

When we first got
together though, it was

totally different.

That was way before she
got into any of that stuff.

And we were interested
in the same things,

she wanted to make
her mark on the world.

And now she just, like, tells me what
to wear and where to be and what to say.

She's making her mark, for
sure. Don't get me wrong.

I mean, she's got
a lot of influence.

You know, it's just it's

it's her world, it's not

it's not ours.

Okay.

Two years ago, on my birthday.

I got this DM from
someone who...

- I'd only ever heard of.
- Mm-hmm.

She'd been mythical to me, and
then suddenly, she was real.

We DM'd and talked pretty much
every single day since then.

The Julien that I got to know

on the other end of
those phone calls?

Yeah, she's different from
the one that I met today.

More like the one you miss.

Which means she's
still in there.

What?

It's just, uh,

it's nice to hear someone
be kind for a change.

It's nice to feel
kindness for a change.

Well, um

the rain has stopped.

You should probably get your
dress before it shrinks.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yup.

The only time I felt more gross
than standing here showing you these

is the moment that I
took them to show you!

I should be arrested.

They were standing
in front of a window.

- Anyone could have seen that.
- Anyone didn't. I did.

- You won't use these, right?
- I don't want to.

But

we're either in
this or we're not.

- Whatever you may have read...
- Not even 9:00.

I'm so glad I can
always trust you.

Ah, New York.

Is there anything more romantic
than a walk in the fall rain?

Only what happens after
behind closed doors.

Or open windows.

Hey JC, looks like DNA isn't
all you and your sister share.

- Julien, it's not true.
- Of course it isn't.

He just gave me a place
to wait till the rain stopped.

What is this Gossip Girl thing
and why is it out to get us?

They're after me.
You're just collateral.

But whoever it is, I
won't let them win.

Did we go about
this the wrong way?

Not telling anyone?

You have to be
strategic about the way

that you present
things to the world.

We just weren't careful enough.

We'll tell everyone
some jealous freshman

is trying to stir
shit between us.

But there's no shit to stir.

It'll all blow over

if we just show that
it hasn't gotten to us.

I'll see you in the courtyard.

Hey, look,
there he is. The cheater.

With a freshman?
That's so gross, Obie.

Yeah, keep walking.

I can't believe
he did that. Freak, man.

Why would you ever
cheat on Julien?

- I didn't.
- Oh, so Gossip Girl's lying?

Of course he'd say that.

Dude, I've been defending
your honor all morning,

as if it was The Crucible.

Gotta say, not the best optics,

- your girlfriend's sister.
- I didn't do anything, Ak.

All right? You know I would
never do anything like that.

It's just

- some crazy kind of...
- Social media nightmare!

You as someone who loses
is bad for business.

I didn't lose anything.

And everything will be
fine so long as you win.

Olivia Jade gained followers
when her mom went to jail.

Exactly, her mom went to jail.

For Jules to rise above this,
she has to destroy Zoya.

Ladies, ladies, nobody's
gonna believe that gossip.

Zoya's a 14-year-old
nobody, and I'm me.

First she stole her mom,
then she stole her man.

If you want to
get back at Zobie,

I volunteer as tribute.

Oh my God, they're
already a hashtag.

- You need to do something.
- This shit ain't it.

I got us a regular Lyft,
we can talk in here.

- Julien, I'm so, so sorry.
- It's not your fault.

I feel terrible anyway.

I'm just so confused
about everything.

The whole school was
either staring me down

or high fiving me all day.

I've come up with a plan
to get us past this.

I did a little research
on Gossip Girl.

There were these
two best friends

she was obsessed
with forever ago.

It's kind of a badge of
honor that she chose us.

All we have to do

is take a page from the
Blair and Serena playbook,

and beat Gossip Girl
at her own game.

How do you beat an
anonymous troll?

Since no one believes
the truth, only the lie,

we have to lie in return.

We plan a public
showdown, nothing too big,

just where I look like
I get the power back.

And then everything can go
back to the way that it was.

Us, as the sisters
we're meant to be.

How do you get the power back?

I'm walking in the
Christopher John Rogers show

tomorrow at the Armory.

It's a big deal for
my brand identity.

And I'll make sure
that you have a seat.

But I'll forget to put you on
the list for the after-party.

And all you have to do is

make a scene when
they don't let you in.

Monet and Luna will take a
photo of Obie and I inside,

with your meltdown outside.

You really think Obie's
gonna go along with this?

He does things for
me. He's good like that.

But you should stay away
from him for the time being.

And we should stay out of
each other's way as well.

Just till the show.

Build the tension, you know.
Tease it, like Gossip Girl did.

Speaking of that devil.

- What are you doing?
Tossing out the bait.

You might have
noticed it's been all quiet

on the Upper Eastern front
for the past 24 hours.

Think the storm has
passed? Not a chance.

Sources tell us to keep your
eyes peeled at the Armory.

Who doesn't love a
fashion showdown?

I tried to warn her.

I mean, our group of friends

have known each other
since we were babies.

We have trust
and... and history.

So no new friends, ever?

I'm not saying
pull up the drawbridge.

I just think it is so terribly
odd that she lied about it.

Well, it's Julien's life.

I mean, whatever reasons
she had made sense to her.

I didn't book a session,
Dr. Menzies, please.

Hey, it's just... share in
my outrage for one moment.

This whole thing is ridiculous.
Okay, however it came to be,

secret sisters fighting
over Prince George

is as déclassé as
an Andy Cohen show.

It's time to ice out
that social climber.

Are you guys still
in that text chain?

Yes.

Thank you. Thank you.

Where's your dad's
concealer again?

Top right drawer.

All right.

- Here we go.
- No, no, no, not for me.

Sies Marjan was for
everybody, so...

Yeah, if you're in, like,
a Gaspar Noé movie maybe,

but I don't like to stick out.

Well, you already do, so...

Where you going?

Mirror's here.

Julien? I've had my eye on you.

- Looking forward to it.
- Thank you, Lindsay.

Have you been reading the
comments on this post?

People are expecting you
to go full Cersei tonight,

but your plan is Saoirse.

What part of "destroy"
did you not understand?

I agree.

Leaving someone off a guest
list is for bat mitzvahs.

- She's my sister. I'm not...
- You think just 'cause you're related to her,

she doesn't have it out for you?

Ever heard of Shakespeare?
Succession? The Bible?

Fam v fam's the number one
story since the dawn of dawn.

She worked you.

She just wanted in.

- It's not like...
- You're losing followers, okay?

She's getting them.

Finally.

What's the plan?

Well, the world thinks Z is
out to snatch whatever JC has.

So we'll follow that thread.

We'll make it seem like she
planned some big secret sabotage

to ruin Jules's big moment.

And then when that
plan goes off,

we'll be there to point
out the person who did it.

She'll be so humiliated in front
of the only people that matter

that she'll never want to show
her face outside of school again.

Mm, I love us.

When did she say
it would go down?

The after-party. So,
um, we have time.

I want to see the show, so...

- Love that.

Don't you know? You can't
use your phone in here.

If someone sees you,
you'll get thrown out,

and then you wouldn't be able to
help your sister with her plan.

- I'm sorry, I didn't know.
- Okay. Well, now you do.

Your seat's over there.

Wait. I need you.

Well, part of you.

Hurry. Go, go, go.

Hurry, we
don't have time.

What? You're the
stylist. Style me.

- Ooh.
- Right?

That tracks.

Here she comes.
- How do you know this'll work?

Just like you don't
need someone's password

to take a photo, you don't
need one to share it.

Ew!

What
the hell? Who sent this?

Ew, ew!
Oh, not bad.

Anybody recognize them?

Security! Over here.

- Hi.
- You saw that photo, right?

Yeah, we saw who sent it.

It's the girl in
that orange dress.

Come
with us, please, right now.

Sorry, what? What's going on?

Just follow me.

It was her!

See, right
there! She's the one who sent it!

That's who sent it? Her?

You dropped your phone.

This isn't
the after-party.

Did we get played?

- What are you doing?
- Cementing us.

Spotted: Some Upper
East Side style sibling rivalry.

It may look like Z was
trying to steal the light,

but she was unaware of
Julien and her callow ways.

It's a long drop
from A-list to Z,

but at least everything is
back where it's meant to be.

She looks triumphant.

Oh my God!

What?

Still,
I'd watch out, JC.

You bought what you needed,
but now, you'll pay the price.

- Julien?
- Oh. Good, you're here.

I had no idea Monet and
Luna were gonna do that.

Why didn't you stop
it when it happened?

You stood there.

Worse... you liked it.

- No, I didn't. Z...
- You don't get to call me that.

My God, you're really blowing
this out of proportion.

I'm hurt.

You hurt me.

Why did you bring me here?

- You're my sister.
- We don't even know each other.

Mom wanted us to.

She left us a clue to make sure.
Julien Elizabeth, Zoya Jane.

So don't let some petty
high school bullshit

change what we planned.

I've spent my whole life
wondering who Mom was.

What she was really like.
Why I never got to know her.

And the only thing
that made it better

when I got so low
was knowing that

there was somebody else
wondering the same things.

But you don't even care
about that, do you?

You only care about how
other people see you.

You just got here.

You have no idea how hard it was

for me to become who I am today.

Dead mom, drunk or
disappearing dad.

And now I'm not just
known, I'm influential.

It takes a lot of work
to matter like that,

to become something.

And I can't have that
taken away from me.

You don't know who
I was before this.

I had a life in
Buffalo. Friends.

I pushed my dad to move here
because you asked me to.

Because you said you
wanted to be the family

we were meant to be.

I wish I never came.

Well, maybe you shouldn't have.

But you're here now, so
this can go one of two ways.

You can learn me,

or you can leave.

I've learned enough.

But I'm not gonna leave either.

There's room for more
than just you to matter.

Do you really think you can
go up against me and win?

See,
that's your problem.

You still think there's
something to win.

But I'm not playing your game.

So its outcome
means nothing to me.

That's right. How
could I forget?

People like you don't
win. They steal.

Just like your dad did.

So

Good luck, Z.

Great, now we can go
to The Blond together.

Babe?

What you did back there...

I didn't do anything.

I've been waiting a long

long time for this.

For what?

For you to show
who you really are.

I mean, I feel like...

I feel like an idiot

for thinking that you were
ever somebody I could I...

I let it get too far
tonight. I know that.

But I'll do better, I promise.

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe you will, but I
won't be there when you do.

I'm... I'm done.
Sir, can you just...

- I'm gonna get out right here.
- Obie! You can't just...

I can explain.

You don't have to.

You and your sister
have committed fraud.

You could get thrown
out of that school.

- This could go on your record.
- No, it won't. I'll...

I'll tell them that I had no idea
Julien got me the scholarship.

- You mean you'll lie?
- I had no idea, Dad. Really.

And... I would have
gotten it anyway, right?

Now you'll never know.

We started
off painting on cave walls.

Representations of what we
saw and knew to be true.

That bear, the sun, ourselves.

I'm sorry it's
taking me so long.

You know you can think
about him, right?

What?

But very soon,

facts of family and
fire turned into fables.

That bear, vanquished.

The sun, a god.

And us? Anything
we wanted to be.

And
we've never gone back.

There's a reason we
call the act of relating something,

"telling a story."

We say it even when it's true.

We also say it when it's a lie.

"Ooh, have I got
a story for you."

"Do you wanna hear
something crazy?"

"You will not believe what
I'm about to tell you."

Which is
how we got to today.

It's all a story now.
And we love to tell it.

It doesn't matter if it's real.

It doesn't matter if
it happened to you

or if you did it.

It only matters
if I say you did.

Because what they
realized then is still true now.

The only thing that
makes a story interesting

is how it's told and
who's telling it.

Those shoes are cool.

- Hey.
- Oh, hey.

Uh, are you still going to
the RTC Alliance after school?

I am still going to the RTC
Alliance after school, yeah.

I... I would really
love to join you.

I would love for
you to join me too.

- Oh.
- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

It's all my fault, not yours.

I like your blazer.

Thank you.

I'll see you in class.

I told you
you couldn't hide from me.

I told you I saw you.

But if there's
one thing you can hold as true,

then as now, it's this.

It may take some time,
it may hurt a little bit,

but I know you'll love me.

Which one of these
should we post next?

Whichever we want. The
future is ours again.

XOXO, Gossip Girl.