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1
00:00:10,628 --> 00:00:15,961
Loki, once again, for crimes
against Asgard, you are banished to Earth.
2
00:00:16,044 --> 00:00:20,669
Ah. Where to? New York? London? Paris?
3
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Springfield.
4
00:00:22,169 --> 00:00:25,503
No!
5
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[screaming]
6
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Ow! [groans]
7
00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:34,628
Whoa. Hey, man. Can I help you?
8
00:00:34,711 --> 00:00:38,919
What would you know
of a distant, abusive father?
9
00:00:39,003 --> 00:00:43,669
And a blonde-haired sibling
who's always perfect?
10
00:00:43,753 --> 00:00:46,128
Oh, have I got the family for you.
11
00:00:46,211 --> 00:00:48,461
So, the boy says you're magic.
12
00:00:48,544 --> 00:00:50,669
Can you turn one pork chop into two?
13
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:54,919
I worship you, great Loki.
14
00:00:55,003 --> 00:00:57,919
Command me, O Lord.
I renounce all other gods.
15
00:00:58,003 --> 00:01:01,461
The last thing this world needs
is more pork chops.
16
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Get her!
17
00:01:02,628 --> 00:01:04,378
[growls]
18
00:01:04,461 --> 00:01:06,544
No, Bart! I'm your sis--
19
00:01:08,044 --> 00:01:09,461
[wolf snoring]
20
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[reading]
21
00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:22,419
Well, there's no way I'm worthy.
I'll just put it back.
22
00:01:23,253 --> 00:01:25,836
[grunting]
23
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:27,878
Whoa!
24
00:01:27,961 --> 00:01:31,628
Goodbye, self-esteem issues!
25
00:01:31,711 --> 00:01:32,753
Ha!
26
00:01:32,836 --> 00:01:34,544
Lisa is Thor?
27
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,419
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
28
00:01:36,503 --> 00:01:40,628
And I brought the Springfield Avengers
with me.
29
00:01:42,044 --> 00:01:43,044
[burps]
30
00:01:46,794 --> 00:01:49,503
I ruined my pants in a brand-new way.
31
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All right, they're no help.
32
00:01:50,961 --> 00:01:53,628
But you're through here, Loki!
33
00:01:53,711 --> 00:01:56,211
[Bart's voice] No, no! You're making
a big mistake. Homer, help me!
34
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[grunts]
35
00:01:57,336 --> 00:01:58,919
No! Homer, I'm really--
36
00:01:59,003 --> 00:02:00,878
Ay, caramba!
37
00:02:02,669 --> 00:02:04,669
[cheering, whistling]
38
00:02:05,586 --> 00:02:06,878
[Loki's voice, laughs]
39
00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:08,753
[Homer humming]
40
00:02:11,211 --> 00:02:14,086
-Whoa!
-We love you so much, boy.
41
00:02:15,419 --> 00:02:16,419
Yes, Father.
42
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:20,753
Oh, and tomorrow could you turn Flanders
into a pork chop? I'll do the rest.
43
00:02:20,836 --> 00:02:21,836
Yes, Father.
44
00:02:23,336 --> 00:02:25,628
Finally, a functional family.
45
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:45,461
Gee, Moe, I can't believe
you gave us drinks on the house tonight.
46
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That's because I ain't Moe.
47
00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:49,878
I'm Loki.
48
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,503
And these beers will ruin your lives,
49
00:02:52,586 --> 00:02:55,086
dissolve your livers,
fill you with remorse.
50
00:02:55,169 --> 00:02:57,753
And though they say
these bottles are recyclable,
51
00:02:57,836 --> 00:03:00,461
they just fill up the ocean!
52
00:03:01,086 --> 00:03:03,211
Your planet is dying!
53
00:03:04,503 --> 00:03:05,544
Still worth it.
54
00:03:27,044 --> 00:03:28,419
You're not nice!
55
00:03:28,503 --> 00:03:29,836
[grunts]
56
00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:34,211
-[Loki groaning]
-[Ralph grunting]
57
00:03:34,294 --> 00:03:35,294
[chuckles]
58
00:03:35,919 --> 00:03:36,919
Privacy please.
59
00:03:37,919 --> 00:03:39,544
-[chattering]
-Shh!
60
00:03:54,503 --> 00:03:55,503
[Loki grunts]
61
00:03:55,586 --> 00:03:59,086
Loki, I could give my verdict
in two words or less,
62
00:03:59,169 --> 00:04:01,044
but as you would put it,
63
00:04:01,128 --> 00:04:03,753
you stand here accused
of tampering with the sacred timeline,
64
00:04:03,836 --> 00:04:06,253
philosophically opposing predeterminism,
65
00:04:06,336 --> 00:04:09,003
crossing over into forbidden areas
of Disney+,
66
00:04:09,086 --> 00:04:11,419
taking two spots in the Goofy parking lot,
67
00:04:11,503 --> 00:04:13,669
being more popular than all the heroes,
68
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:17,003
having a British accent when you're
actually supposed to be from Norway,
69
00:04:17,086 --> 00:04:21,086
promising to be good, then breaking
your promise like a zillion times,
70
00:04:21,169 --> 00:04:23,461
making us sit through
numerous mid-credits scenes,
71
00:04:23,544 --> 00:04:24,961
hoping they advance the story!
72
00:04:25,044 --> 00:04:28,794
And will you please wash your nasty hair?
73
00:04:28,878 --> 00:04:30,378
Guilty as charged!
74
00:04:30,461 --> 00:04:32,169
Get out of my face.
5099
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