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1
00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:13,972
Loki, once again, for crimes
against Asgard, you are banished to Earth.
2
00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:18,685
Ah. Where to? New York? London? Paris?
3
00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:20,103
Springfield.
4
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:23,523
No!
5
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:26,568
[screaming]
6
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:30,280
Ow! [groans]
7
00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,657
Whoa. Hey, man. Can I help you?
8
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:36,953
What would you know
of a distant, abusive father?
9
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:41,708
And a blonde-haired sibling
who's always perfect?
10
00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:44,127
Oh, have I got the family for you.
11
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,463
So, the boy says you're magic.
12
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,673
Can you turn one pork chop into two?
13
00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,927
I worship you, great Loki.
14
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:55,930
Command me, O Lord.
I renounce all other gods.
15
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:59,476
The last thing this world needs
is more pork chops.
16
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:00,560
Get her!
17
00:01:00,643 --> 00:01:02,395
[growls]
18
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,564
No, Bart! I'm your sis--
19
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,484
[wolf snoring]
20
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:15,700
[reading]
21
00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:20,455
Well, there's no way I'm worthy.
I'll just put it back.
22
00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:23,875
[grunting]
23
00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:25,877
Whoa!
24
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:29,631
Goodbye, self-esteem issues!
25
00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:30,757
Ha!
26
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,550
Lisa is Thor?
27
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,427
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
28
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:38,640
And I brought the Springfield Avengers
with me.
29
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:41,059
[burps]
30
00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:47,524
I ruined my pants in a brand-new way.
31
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:48,900
All right, they're no help.
32
00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:51,653
But you're through here, Loki!
33
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:54,239
[Bart's voice] No, no! You're making
a big mistake. Homer, help me!
34
00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:55,281
[grunts]
35
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,950
No! Homer, I'm really--
36
00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:58,910
Ay, caramba!
37
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,706
[cheering, whistling]
38
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:04,916
[Loki's voice, laughs]
39
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,751
[Homer humming]
40
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:12,090
-Whoa!
-We love you so much, boy.
41
00:02:13,425 --> 00:02:14,426
Yes, Father.
42
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:18,763
Oh, and tomorrow could you turn Flanders
into a pork chop? I'll do the rest.
43
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:19,848
Yes, Father.
44
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:23,643
Finally, a functional family.
45
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:43,496
Gee, Moe, I can't believe
you gave us drinks on the house tonight.
46
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,623
That's because I ain't Moe.
47
00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:47,917
I'm Loki.
48
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,503
And these beers will ruin your lives,
49
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:53,089
dissolve your livers,
fill you with remorse.
50
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,759
And though they say
these bottles are recyclable,
51
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,470
they just fill up the ocean!
52
00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:01,222
Your planet is dying!
53
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:03,558
Still worth it.
54
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,456
You're not nice!
55
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:27,874
[grunts]
56
00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:32,212
-[Loki groaning]
-[Ralph grunting]
57
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:33,296
[chuckles]
58
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:34,923
Privacy please.
59
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:37,550
-[chattering]
-Shh!
60
00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:53,525
[Loki grunts]
61
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:57,112
Loki, I could give my verdict
in two words or less,
62
00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,072
but as you would put it,
63
00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:01,783
you stand here accused
of tampering with the sacred timeline,
64
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:04,285
philosophically opposing predeterminism,
65
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:07,038
crossing over into forbidden areas
of Disney+,
66
00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:09,457
taking two spots in the Goofy parking lot,
67
00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:11,668
being more popular than all the heroes,
68
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:15,005
having a British accent when you're
actually supposed to be from Norway,
69
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:19,092
promising to be good, then breaking
your promise like a zillion times,
70
00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:21,469
making us sit through
numerous mid-credits scenes,
71
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:22,971
hoping they advance the story!
72
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:26,808
And will you please wash your nasty hair?
73
00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:28,393
Guilty as charged!
74
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,186
Get out of my face.
5101
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