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1
00:00:01,918 --> 00:00:05,005
rock music
2
00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:20,854
[Lip] And the wolf said,
"'Little pigs, little pigs,
3
00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:22,564
let me in.'
4
00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:24,691
'Not by the hair
of our chinny-chin-chin.'
5
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,651
'Then I'll huff and I'll puff
6
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,695
and I'll blow your house
down.'"
7
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,655
Ohh!
8
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,532
"But the brick house
wouldn't come down.
9
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:35,535
So the big, bad wolf climbed
all the way up the roof,
10
00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:37,704
he slid down the chimney,
and then..."
11
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:40,874
[howling]
Aooh-wuh-wuh-wuh-wuuu!
12
00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:43,001
"The big, bad wolf fell into
the pot of hot water
13
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,586
that the pigs had on the fire.
14
00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:47,338
And that was the end
of the big, bad wolf.
15
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,674
And the pigs lived happily
ever after."
16
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,135
You see 'em?
One, two,
17
00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,137
-three.
-Hey.
18
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:57,057
-Hey.
-How's he feeling?
19
00:00:57,098 --> 00:01:01,144
[Lip] Oh, he's still congested
and, uh, still awake.
20
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,979
Smells like my grandma's room
in here.
21
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:05,065
Yeah. Yeah, slathered him
in Vicks.
22
00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:07,817
[Tami chuckles]
Hey, you wanna tag out?
23
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,486
-I'll take a turn.
-Uh-uh.
24
00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:10,820
It's cool. I got him.
25
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,405
You get some sleep, all right?
26
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:14,908
Okay. I'm gonna pass out
on the couch
27
00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:16,534
to an episode of Bob Ross.
28
00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:18,078
-[chuckles] Oh. Bob Ross.
-[chuckles]
29
00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:19,537
[Tami sighs]
30
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:22,165
Feel better, my sweet baby boy.
31
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:23,666
Mmm.
32
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,252
-[whispers] Thanks.
-Yeah.
33
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:31,800
Okay, let's see what's next,
what's next?
34
00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:34,302
-[baby cooing]
-All right, we've...
35
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:37,055
I think we've read the...
36
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,598
just about every single
one of these books.
37
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,600
But don't worry about it.
38
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:43,603
I got a better story for you,
all right?
39
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:46,898
soft music
40
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:51,111
How 'bout we tell you
a real fairy tale story, huh?
41
00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:54,322
Now, once upon a time,
42
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:57,575
there was a little boy
named Phillip Gallagher.
43
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,410
-Phillip.
-It's, uh, Lip.
44
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,037
-I'm Lip--Phillip Gallagher.
-Lip?
45
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:01,955
-Lip.
-[man] Is Lip around?
46
00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:03,081
-Lip!
-[Lip] Lip.
47
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,457
-Phillip Gallagher?
-It's Lip.
48
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,793
-Lip, my man.
-Lip, muh boy.
49
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,795
Not gonna call ya Lip.
Hope that's okay.
50
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,131
Gonna call you by your lovely
God-given name--
51
00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:12,799
-Phillip.
-Okay.
52
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:13,967
After the prophet.
53
00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:16,594
And Phillip...or Lip,
54
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:19,222
as his family and friends
called him,
55
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:22,142
grew up
in a magical castle,
56
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:24,602
and he was raised
by a supportive
57
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,230
and loving family.
58
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,274
[glass shatters]
59
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:32,026
-[man] Fuck you, Frank!
-[baby crying]
60
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:34,279
Will you please take a drink
and shut the fuck up?
61
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,697
[Fiona] Shut the fuck up!
62
00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:37,031
[Carl] Frank's passed out
up in the bathroom.
63
00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:38,032
-[Lip] Fuck.
-He dead?
64
00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:39,284
Unfortunately not.
65
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,536
You gotta let kids learn
for themselves.
66
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:42,996
They gonna fend for themselves?
67
00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:45,498
You give a man a fish,
you've fed him for a day.
68
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,458
Teach a man to fish,
you've fed him for a lifetime.
69
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:48,877
I raised fisherman.
70
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:50,837
That's my fucking bike!
71
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:53,381
The best gift you can give--
neglect.
72
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:54,549
[doorbell rings]
73
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,843
-Dad.
-Son.
74
00:02:57,385 --> 00:03:00,096
A rooster in the henhouse.
Rooster in the henhouse!
75
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,764
Hide the money!
76
00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,433
-[Debbie] Morning, Grammy.
-[Lip] Morning, Grammy!
77
00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:05,185
-[Fiona] Morning, Grams!
-[cop] Hey, Gallagher.
78
00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:07,312
Your mom's down at the station.
Bring bail money.
79
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:11,482
Get the fucking key
and get me out of here!
80
00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:13,026
[Lip] Just bailed Monica
outta jail.
81
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,195
She let Carl play bumper cars
with a Buick.
82
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,614
So you know Monica spent
all the squirrel fund money?
83
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,949
The first rule you learn
in this house--
84
00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:21,451
you hide the goddamn money!
85
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:22,702
Don't be mad at Fiona.
Come on.
86
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,287
Hey, Monica, shut up.
87
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:25,663
You know what,
like most of my life,
88
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:26,998
this has nothing
to do with you.
89
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,041
Your son's a real prick.
90
00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:29,542
[light thud]
91
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:32,378
[Frank] Don't say Papa
never gave ya a pet.
92
00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:33,963
-Fuck!
-[Frank laughs]
93
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,340
[Ian] Eeew!
94
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,717
-[Lip] Hey, Grammy.
-Oh, my goodness.
95
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:41,429
I have never seen apple
and spice looking so nice!
96
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,681
-How's it goin' in there?
-Oh, the food's not so great,
97
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,391
but the pussy's pretty good.
98
00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:46,517
Sounds all right.
99
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,394
Weren't Monica and Frank
on acid
100
00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:49,729
the whole time
you were in vitro?
101
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,397
'Shrooms, mostly.
102
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,524
We had one kid on coke--
Debbie.
103
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,526
-That was Carl.
-No, Carl was E.
104
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,487
-Thought Liam was E.
-Liam was acid.
105
00:03:57,528 --> 00:03:58,947
Don't you remember?
106
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:02,742
But we've never made
a little rug rat on GHB.
107
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,328
[both moaning]
108
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,830
Oh! Jesus Christ!
109
00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,624
"Congratulations, Ian.
110
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,501
You are not
Frank Gallagher's son."
111
00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:13,253
You fucked my brother!
112
00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:15,338
I like the idea of Monica
cheating on Frank.
113
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:16,756
You know, it really keeps
my image of you
114
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,383
right on track, Mom.
115
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:20,760
Honestly, sweetie,
there was the summer of '95
116
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,887
that I did a lotta PCP...
117
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,264
-[Frank] You did PCP?
-And I--
118
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:26,266
Without me?
119
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:28,226
[Roberta] Moni and I wanna
take Liam to live with us.
120
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,769
-What?
-No, out of the fucking
121
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,771
-question, Roberta.
-Taking Liam?
122
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,022
-[Fiona] No!
-No, nobody's
123
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,565
taking anyone anywhere.
124
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,527
I don't care what the fucking
DNA test says.
125
00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:40,071
-You're not taking Liam.
-[Roberta] We having a problem,
126
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,448
-Phillip?
-Let's see--you're camped out
127
00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:44,575
in my house,
you're fucking my mother,
128
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,077
and you're talking about
stealing my baby brother.
129
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,620
Why would we have a problem?
130
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,622
-Hey, stop it!
-Congratulations, Mom.
131
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,124
You always knew
how to pick 'em.
132
00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:52,583
Yeah, so please
stay on your barstool
133
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,002
-and just keep drinking.
-Come on!
134
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:55,628
-I've gotta walk away.
-What?!
135
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,213
If I don't walk away,
I'm gonna fucking hit him.
136
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:59,132
bluesy rock music
137
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:00,967
What the hell?
138
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:02,051
[overlapping shouts]
139
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:03,428
Fuck!
140
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,596
Next time you're thinkin'
about dropping in,
141
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:07,390
don't.
142
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:08,975
-[Monica whimpers]
-You fucked up our lives
143
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,810
enough already.
144
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,440
At least I'm not getting
trapped by some pregnant skank.
145
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:17,066
-Fuck you.
-You'll probably quit
146
00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:19,152
high school, huh,
start working at Best Buy.
147
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:20,820
-Watch your fuckin' mouth!
-I wonder how long it takes
148
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,572
before you start huffing glue?
149
00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,991
Hey! Only one way
to resolve this.
150
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,826
Somebody's gotta bleed.
Fight it out.
151
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,995
See who's alpha wolf.
152
00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:32,248
rock music
153
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:34,334
[Monica] Your mother...
154
00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,002
was a real cunt.
155
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:37,003
[Frank] Amen.
156
00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:41,674
Wanna get a beer?
157
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:43,009
[Ian] Yeah.
158
00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,011
-Hey, Lip, I need your help.
-Oh--busy!
159
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,637
Too busy to help
your old man?
160
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:48,181
Yes. Forever.
161
00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:49,682
-[Lip] Movin' out again?
-[Frank] Fuck off.
162
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,517
I don't like the way
I'm being talked to
163
00:05:51,559 --> 00:05:53,227
-around my own house.
-Let's go see if we can find
164
00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:55,355
whatever gutter our
responsible adult of a father
165
00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:56,981
has crawled into this time.
166
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,649
[Frank] "You never got me this,
Dad, we never had that, Dad."
167
00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:00,401
Yack, yack, fucking yack!
168
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,362
[Frank] Lip, you're 21, right?
169
00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,238
23, but that's fine.
You're in the ballpark.
170
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,741
[Frank] Surround sound bitching
is the only thanks I get.
171
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,618
Life is hard.
We all know that.
172
00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,578
Money is harder.
173
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,581
Do you even know how much
we spend a week on groceries?
174
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:16,167
-Too much!
-120 bucks.
175
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,878
Fiona pays 70.
Me and Ian go in 25 each.
176
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,838
You know how much you spend
a month at the Alibi?
177
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,465
None a your damn business.
178
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,717
[Lip] Over 700.
179
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:26,344
-Hey, you're back!
-Let us have a bottle
180
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,553
of your good stuff.
181
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:28,721
I've got some money comin'.
182
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:29,806
[brakes screech]
183
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:31,391
[man] Tomorrow, fuckhead!
184
00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:33,059
-[tires screech]
-[yells]
185
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,644
A friend...dropped me off.
186
00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:36,020
[Lip] I don't need Kev
to tell me.
187
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,356
Check your pockets
every night.
188
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,191
[Frank mutters]
189
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,818
You better run!
190
00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:43,736
I gotta go, but save some
for me, will ya, Debs?
191
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,321
-Yeah, okay.
-It's essential
192
00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,240
that families
share meals together.
193
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,493
-Oh, don't, oh--
-Mmm!
194
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,203
-Great, Debs.
-[Debbie] Thanks.
195
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,579
[Frank] I won't say it twice.
Go home.
196
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:54,747
[Lip] What?
197
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,541
I won't say it twi--
198
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:00,378
Why do you two keep
harping on the past?
199
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,172
This is why your lives
are so messed up!
200
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,633
Oh, yeah.
That's the reason.
201
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:08,052
Daddy's home!
Come on, lads.
202
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,138
Let's go upstairs,
take a disco nap.
203
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:11,931
[Lip] Charge, charge!
204
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:14,308
[Fiona] Shit!
Just go--go!
205
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:15,893
[Frank] Just pick a bed,
fellas.
206
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,728
Just pick a bed.
Ohh.
207
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,773
-What the hell are you doing?
-[Ian] Get the fuck outta here!
208
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,108
You are not sleeping!
209
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,610
After everything
I have done for you,
210
00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,446
this is the thanks I get?
211
00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:28,072
Jesus Chriiiist--
212
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,532
Uhh!
213
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:32,118
[Frank] Not funny.
Not funny at all.
214
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,037
-Da!
-Now...
215
00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:37,290
because of his privileged
upbringing,
216
00:07:37,331 --> 00:07:40,918
little Lip was able to focus
his attentions on schoolwork
217
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,296
and extracurricular activities.
218
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:45,715
[Ian] Go! Go, go, go!
219
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:48,634
rock music
220
00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:50,970
[Lip] Get outta the way,
get outta the way!
221
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,430
[guard] Move it!
222
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,307
[Lip] Jesus,
whatever happened to fat,
223
00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:57,018
donut-eating cops?
Now they're all triathletes!
224
00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,436
-[man groans] Ah--
-Break it down!
225
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:00,980
[Lip] Shit!
226
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,065
-[Lip] Yo, Kev.
-Hey.
227
00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:05,276
Is it cool if we put Fiona's
name on your W2?
228
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,528
Sure. What's a W2?
229
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,572
Hmm?
230
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,991
Forty-third and Alstead.
Bring the crowbar.
231
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,537
-[woman] Wow.
-[man] Ha ha ha ha ha!
232
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,039
[overlapping chatter]
233
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,457
[Kev, straining] Here we go.
234
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,209
Hey, I wanna stage another
fight night next week.
235
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:25,129
rock music
236
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,131
Go around to the dojos,
237
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,466
round up some more scrappers,
all right?
238
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,344
[boy] Frozen Snickers,
bag a Beer Nuts,
239
00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:32,970
and couple of joints.
240
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,639
You 14? Got ID?
241
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,645
You know how to hack
a voicemail?
242
00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:42,021
Probably.
243
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:45,149
I want you to give me 50
or GFY.
244
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,526
GFY?
245
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:53,032
Less ogling, more hacking.
246
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:55,701
Is this the club where Wilco's
gonna play a secret concert?
247
00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:56,869
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's, uh,
248
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,829
20 bucks, self-park,
30 valet.
249
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:01,165
Thought you wanted this.
Quickest grand you ever made.
250
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,918
Buyer was thrilled--said you
should moonlight for the NSA.
251
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,545
So what are you workin' on
this summer?
252
00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:07,964
Um, I'm working on this device
that reads credit card numbers
253
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,423
off of parking kiosks.
254
00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:11,092
Using a magnetic
stripe reader?
255
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:12,969
Oh, no.
It's all done over WiFi now.
256
00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:16,180
Why aren't you working on
my project?
257
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,890
When you're poor,
only way to make money
258
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:19,809
is to steal it or scam it.
259
00:09:19,850 --> 00:09:21,727
Like Don King or Joe Kennedy.
260
00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,271
All right, here ya go.
261
00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:25,606
It's 50 bucks a head.
$400.
262
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,525
This man stole our jobs?
263
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,278
No, no, I didn't steal them.
I just underbid you.
264
00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:34,198
But we are illegal immigrants.
How can you underbid us?
265
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,367
-Gutter white's the new brown.
-The what?
266
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,660
The new brown.
267
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:39,203
-[Fiona] Come on!
-[Ian] You got her?
268
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,705
[Fiona] Oh--go!
269
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,748
[Lip] The real Aunt Ginger
lost a toe.
270
00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:45,751
Somebody's gotta snip it.
Who wants to do the honors?
271
00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:49,422
[Lip] I'm taking the PSATs
for some Polish kid
272
00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:51,048
over in Ridgedale.
273
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,675
He's supposed to give me
like a hundred bucks.
274
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,176
[teacher] Mr. Gallagher.
275
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,097
-What?
-Do you know the answer?
276
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,059
[man] Lip's been expelled.
-Expelled?
277
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,269
Threw a chair
through a window.
278
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,271
The answer is fuck you!
279
00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:11,068
You are finishing high school!
280
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:12,403
I've done a year
more than you.
281
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,030
-This isn't about me.
-So, what, you want me
282
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,948
to bust my ass?
Get a diploma
283
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:18,576
and a high-paying job so I can
buy you all houses and shit
284
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,494
while you lay around
doing fuck-all?
285
00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:21,954
I'm down for that.
286
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,290
Why's that on me, huh?
287
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,334
Oh, because I've done
all right on some tests?
288
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,294
No. I'll pull my weight,
289
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:30,630
but I'm not gonna be
the fucking golden goose!
290
00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:34,800
moody music
291
00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:36,927
And when he was
in high school,
292
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:40,264
he met a beautiful princess.
293
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,641
[grunts]
294
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:43,351
[sobs/laughs]
295
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,102
Take it easy!
296
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,479
Get the fuck outta my house!
297
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,189
Hi. I'm Karen Jackson.
298
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,149
I mean...Daddyz Girl.
299
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,195
[music stops]
300
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:56,155
And the two of them dated...
301
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:59,659
and they were voted
Homecoming King and Queen.
302
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,452
[Karen moaning] Yeah!
Oh, yeah, give it to me!
303
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,828
-Oh, yeah.
-[moans] Ohh!
304
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:04,747
-Give it to me!
-Want me to give it to you?
305
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,083
-Yes.
-[man] Yeah, she said
306
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:08,584
she wants you to
give it to her,
307
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:09,669
So just give it to her
already!
308
00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:10,670
[train horn blares]
309
00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:13,589
[both screaming, laughing]
310
00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:16,676
funky music
311
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:20,680
[slow motion]
You whore!
312
00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:22,807
What are we doing here?
313
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:25,518
Seriously, from, uh,
my vantage point,
314
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,019
looks like we're on
the verge of fucking.
315
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:29,230
No, I mean you and me.
What are we?
316
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:30,856
We've always been friends.
317
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,485
-Hi, Frank.
-Shit! Karen!
318
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,029
funky music
319
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,369
[Frank] Whoa!
Oh...
320
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:44,745
What do you think now, Daddy?
321
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,247
Am I still a whore?
322
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:47,873
[Frank grunting]
323
00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:50,251
Mother of God!
324
00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:51,544
[rewind screech]
325
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,048
-[Karen] Oh, fuck!
-[Frank] Oh!
326
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:59,719
[both moaning]
327
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,721
-Ahh!
-Ohh!
328
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,139
Ahh...
329
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:05,391
-Where ya goin'?
-Karen's.
330
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:08,394
Karen Jackson?
After that thing with your dad?
331
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,896
I have something to tell you.
332
00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:14,150
What? Finally gonna let me
plow the back fields?
333
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:15,693
You already are.
334
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,528
Oh, shit! Sorry. Um...
335
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,738
It's okay.
336
00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:21,240
-I like it.
-Oh. Ha.
337
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,409
I wouldn't necessarily
call it an orgy,
338
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:26,579
but there were a lot of
naked body parts flying around.
339
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,914
And then there was the time
at Mindy Carlson's sleepover
340
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:30,750
when her mom walked in
and freaked out
341
00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,418
when she saw Mindy
in the shower
342
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,795
with a big, black
strap-on dildo.
343
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,422
So what'd you wanna tell me?
344
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,716
I'm pretty sure
that Jody's gonna propose.
345
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,093
We can't have sex anymore.
346
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,762
Oh.
347
00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:44,054
Mandy!
348
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,641
Missed me, huh?
349
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,602
I bet you could get
any guy into bed, huh?
350
00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:52,271
Yeah. Why?
351
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:53,355
[click]
352
00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:57,943
[Lip] Hey.
Hey, you okay?
353
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,571
-Uhh!
-Oh, sh--
354
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:03,115
Why the fuck was
Mandy Milkovich at my house
355
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:05,242
trying to screw Jody?
356
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:07,286
He turned her down
and told me what happened.
357
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:08,954
Yeah, 'cause
he's a fucking pussy.
358
00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:11,582
Fuck you!
Stay the fuck away from me,
359
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,043
and stay the fuck away
from this baby!
360
00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:15,127
[huffs]
361
00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,549
Why can't I just get
a C-section?
362
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,551
-You're too far along, sweetie.
-Sometimes Mother Nature
363
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:23,886
has other plans, honey.
364
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,638
Fuck Mother Nature.
365
00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,389
She doesn't have to worry about
her vagina getting stretched.
366
00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:28,641
-Ow!
-[Lip] You were already
367
00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:30,935
pretty stretched out
down there, Karen.
368
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:32,061
[Carl] That thing looks weird.
369
00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:35,481
-And he's Asian.
-Maybe we're just
370
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,316
looking at him upside down.
371
00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:42,655
So it's looking serious
about Mandy Skankovich.
372
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,114
Nice.
373
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,659
Oh, shit, Mandy.
I'm sorry.
374
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,661
You know I woulda never
said that to your face.
375
00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:50,704
I know you're seeing Lip,
but like I told him,
376
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:53,165
I think it's great.
377
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:56,335
What? I came by last Tuesday
to say hi.
378
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:59,213
She's a skanky,
manipulative bitch.
379
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:01,257
Why don't you just dump her?
380
00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:02,883
-Less talking, more riding.
-Oh!
381
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,718
[car horn blows]
382
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,804
[man] Fuck you too!
383
00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:13,435
[Kev] Wait, wait, wait, wait.
384
00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:17,439
Your current girlfriend
ran over your ex-girlfriend?
385
00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:19,108
I don't know--I don't--I don't
know what she's capable of.
386
00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:20,609
Dude, you're at DEFCON 1.
387
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,194
You need to get the fuck
outta there.
388
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:23,863
We haven't had sex
in over a week.
389
00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:26,490
Whatever you do, do not...
390
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,701
do not let her bone you.
391
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,788
[Lip] The fuck?!
392
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:36,125
[panting] You belong here
with me,
393
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:38,377
not with that fucking
vegetable.
394
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:40,379
[gasps]
395
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,758
Oh, let me take a look
at you, buddy.
396
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,552
Aw, shoot.
397
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,387
You got all this green gunk
comin' outta your nose.
398
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:51,223
Come on, let's see if we can
get rid a that, huh?
399
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:52,766
[whispers] Here we go.
400
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:54,685
All right.
401
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,729
-[baby fussing]
-How's that?
402
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,355
Huh?
403
00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:01,066
Is that helping your cute
little congested nose?
404
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:03,277
Hey, you wanna hear
some more of my story?
405
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,737
Huh?
406
00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:06,488
Yeah, you do?
407
00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:09,325
All right, let's do it.
Um...
408
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,118
Well, eventually,
409
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,580
Lip graduated from high school,
410
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:18,000
and he left the comfort
of his family and community
411
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:20,252
to go off to college.
412
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,714
[panting]
Fuck me!
413
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,674
That's what I was doing!
414
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:26,675
-Shit!
-[glass shatters]
415
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,761
[Lip] Uh--eh--
What--
416
00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:30,262
Lord have Mercy!
417
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,597
[Lip] Okay.
418
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,935
Before we delve
too deeply into--
419
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,897
Problems of modernity,
let me remind you...
420
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,274
[continues indistinctly]
Nine a.m.
421
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,777
And social...
422
00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:46,862
I don't plan on keeping you
that long.
423
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,280
I try to make a point
424
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:49,782
of not banging
my roommate's girlfriend.
425
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,784
You were hoping I'd be here.
426
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:00,042
Excuse me, guys.
427
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,336
Forgot my Spinoza.
[small laugh]
428
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,380
I-I-I'm so sorry.
Just let me explain.
429
00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:05,965
-It's--it's okay.
-I-I'm really--
430
00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:08,133
You don't need to be sorry.
I owe you one.
431
00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:09,593
We're cool?
432
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:11,679
Best part about getting
a blow job from Amanda--
433
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,264
ten minutes of silence.
Come on, dude.
434
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,266
end chords
435
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,852
rock music
436
00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,437
These are my parents.
437
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,815
-They're white.
-Yeah, I can...see that.
438
00:16:22,856 --> 00:16:25,234
Well, they bought me from
a Subic Bay whorehouse, so...
439
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:26,485
go Navy!
440
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,156
I don't understand my grade
on this paper.
441
00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:32,992
You tried to be clever,
but there were
442
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:35,077
no compelling insights or any
attempt at original thought.
443
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:38,789
Original thought on Byron's
Childe Harold's Pilgrimage?
444
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,291
Look, nobody's had an original
thought on Childe Harold
445
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,627
since Queen Victoria
was still getting laid.
446
00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:46,672
[whoops, cheers]
447
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,424
The house mother
for my sorority
448
00:16:48,465 --> 00:16:49,842
is interviewing
for house boy today.
449
00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:51,677
Now, you are not allowed
to use the bathroom
450
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,178
on the upper levels.
- The room, though,
451
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:54,805
-it's here in the house?
-Hey, do you want
452
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,181
any company later?
453
00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:57,766
It can get kinda creepy
in the basement.
454
00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,768
Uh...
455
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:00,894
yeah.
456
00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:02,771
[Lip] Ah...
457
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:04,732
Who was that--Antonia?
458
00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:06,817
-Me.
-Let's do this.
459
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,820
funky music
460
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,238
You're fired, obviously.
461
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,824
Why? I kinda blacked out.
I--
462
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,909
Not before you took
all the group sorority photos
463
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,953
off the wall and used a marker
to circle
464
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,329
all the girls
that you slept with.
465
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,331
[small laugh] I did that?
466
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:22,916
[house mother] When I told you
you had to leave,
467
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:24,418
you, uh, decided
to mark your territory.
468
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,336
You peed on the carpet.
469
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:28,505
The, uh, carpets
weren't the final target
470
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:29,715
of your yellow tsunami.
471
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,884
Where else?
472
00:17:31,925 --> 00:17:34,053
Not where. Who.
473
00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:35,721
I peed on you.
474
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,639
I'll be out in an hour.
475
00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:38,724
-Yeah.
-[clears throat]
476
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:41,894
[cheering, whooping]
477
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,650
You're disrupting the midterm.
478
00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:51,070
I know, sorry.
I'm a few minutes late.
479
00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:52,738
Six minutes.
480
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:55,074
I'm sure next test, you'll
leave plenty of extra time
481
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,992
and arrive early.
482
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,078
[car alarm blaring]
483
00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:02,372
What the fuck was that for?
484
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,291
[tearfully] Making me
fall in love with you.
485
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,376
I didn't make you do anything.
486
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:10,547
Yes, you did, because
you're so fucking...you!
487
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:12,299
[screams] Oh, fuck!
488
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:14,009
Aah!
489
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:15,469
[moans]
490
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,642
Thank you.
491
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:24,228
It was there that he met
492
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:27,481
two of the most influential
people in his life.
493
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,316
They were role models
494
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:32,861
who showed Lip how to be
a productive
495
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:36,281
and moral member
of the human race.
496
00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:39,284
[tires screeching]
497
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:50,587
-Fuck happened?
-Drove into a house.
498
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,464
Kill anybody?
499
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:55,467
According to Horkheimer,
was nothing short of liberation
500
00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:58,053
from the circumstances that a--
501
00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,680
-Hey, sorry, uh...
-You're late.
502
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:01,140
Yeah, I couldn't find
the building.
503
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:02,808
It's the third class,
504
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,685
so you're a week
and ten minutes late.
505
00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:06,228
-What'd I miss?
-Do you even know
506
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:08,105
what critical theory is?
507
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,398
Question everything,
508
00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:11,567
uh, why things are
the way they are.
509
00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:12,943
Why they should be different.
510
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,070
Uh, you know, it's the
only thing I'm good at--
511
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,990
calling bullshit.
512
00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:20,450
mellow rock
513
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:27,166
No...don't stop.
514
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:29,960
[both laughing]
515
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,973
Oh, your husband's sitting
in the corner of the room.
516
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,309
Hello.
517
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,935
What's he doing?
518
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,437
Just waiting for us to finish
519
00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:50,856
so he can come to bed.
520
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,192
This must be strange for you.
521
00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:55,152
A little bit, yeah, it's a
little--it's a little strange.
522
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,362
So my husband says to meet him
at 59th
523
00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:59,198
and Dorchester,
and he'll give you a ride.
524
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,208
[both moaning]
525
00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:12,002
-[Helené] Talk dirty to me.
-Okay.
526
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,962
Um...I'm gonna slap you
with my big dick
527
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:15,881
and come all over your face.
528
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:18,258
Jesus. Maybe not that dirty.
529
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,844
Oh, never mind, never mind.
530
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,387
-I'm gonna come anyway.
-All right.
531
00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:24,765
Helené, she's got my head
all messed up.
532
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,683
It's not your lady professor.
533
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:29,061
-It's that.
-What, the booze?
534
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:30,687
You seen how much
I pour down my gullet?
535
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,356
I went down on my professor.
536
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,900
Oh! What's his name?
537
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:37,069
You take his whole dick
in your mouth?
538
00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:41,073
I heard...she might be
fucking somebody new.
539
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:45,244
-[Lip] Did you fuck her?
-What?
540
00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:47,746
Did you fuck her?
541
00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:50,123
[Helené] You beat up Dylan?
542
00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:51,917
-You beat up my son?
-I didn't know he was your son!
543
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,670
-Are you out of your mind?
-Professor? Tiffany Thomas!
544
00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:57,798
Yeah, I was in your Intro
to Ethics last semester.
545
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,177
-Jesus.
-[Youens] Remember this.
546
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:04,429
We have only two jobs
on this earth.
547
00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:07,766
The first, to learn.
548
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:09,893
The second, to cope.
549
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,728
Professor Youens.
550
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:13,438
Hey, morning.
551
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:20,237
Uh, listen up. Professor Youens
has been detained.
552
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,571
Now, for a well-behaved
function,
553
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,615
there's always an nth-degree
polynomial...
554
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,742
take you to an error curve that
oscillates back and forth
555
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:26,743
between positive epsilon...
556
00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:28,161
Thank you, Mr. Gallagher.
557
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:31,790
You...
558
00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:34,626
should consider teaching.
559
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:36,295
[Helené] Is it that hard
to believe
560
00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:37,587
that someone thinks
you have a bright future
561
00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:39,464
and wants to help you
get there?
562
00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:41,174
You need to
get used to it, Lip.
563
00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:43,802
[Youens] Just met with
my buddy Kurt Freund
564
00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:45,512
over at
Chapman Energy Systems.
565
00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,306
-Oh, yeah?
-I got you an internship
566
00:21:47,347 --> 00:21:48,974
with him for next summer.
567
00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:50,642
Yeah, I'm not really
an internship guy.
568
00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:52,477
You know,
you have a choice right now
569
00:21:52,519 --> 00:21:53,979
to recognize that you are
570
00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,522
a promising young college
student,
571
00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,274
not some ghetto outlaw.
572
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,318
[laughter, chatter]
573
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:00,736
[Lip] Where'd you get that?
574
00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:03,280
Some girl Tweeted it.
575
00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:06,074
[laughter, chatter]
576
00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:08,785
How the fuck could you send out
that picture of Helené?
577
00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:11,121
You shouldn't have
screwed me over.
578
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,998
I never made any fucking
promises to you!
579
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,333
Yes, you fucking well did!
580
00:22:14,374 --> 00:22:16,418
With your eyes...
581
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:19,171
and your smile and your cock!
582
00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:21,256
-Helené?
-[Helené] Don't follow me.
583
00:22:21,298 --> 00:22:24,634
Stay away from my home,
my husband, my son.
584
00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:26,470
Fuck!
585
00:22:26,511 --> 00:22:29,181
Professor Runyon?
That was you?
586
00:22:29,222 --> 00:22:31,016
Jesus Christ!
You saw it too?
587
00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:32,559
I'd say that's some
elephant-sized shit
588
00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:33,518
hittin' the fan.
589
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:34,978
Yeah.
590
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:37,564
You just fucking come out
and you talk to me!
591
00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:39,733
[screaming] Helené!
592
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:42,110
-[Youens] Excuse us.
-What, what, fucking what?
593
00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:46,365
You smell like a distillery.
594
00:22:46,406 --> 00:22:48,408
You're losing your shit.
Go home, sober up!
595
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:50,535
I changed your shirt
596
00:22:50,577 --> 00:22:53,538
when you woke up
covered in your own vomit.
597
00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:55,916
I helped you shave your face
before your faculty meeting
598
00:22:55,957 --> 00:22:57,542
'cause your hand
was so fucking shaky!
599
00:22:57,584 --> 00:22:59,503
You need to stop talking now,
Lip--you're doing damage
600
00:22:59,544 --> 00:23:01,129
-to yourself.
-You don't give a shit
601
00:23:01,171 --> 00:23:03,507
about me.
You don't give a shit about me
602
00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:05,550
because you don't have to...
right?
603
00:23:05,592 --> 00:23:07,552
You're just sittin' pretty
in your ivory tower,
604
00:23:07,594 --> 00:23:09,388
and I'm a fucking insect
crawling on the wall
605
00:23:09,429 --> 00:23:11,390
till you squash me, right?
606
00:23:11,431 --> 00:23:13,683
What, 'cause that makes you
feel fucking powerful?
607
00:23:13,725 --> 00:23:15,519
'Cause you fucked up
your own life,
608
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,063
and you fucking
hate yourself for it.
609
00:23:18,105 --> 00:23:20,148
And I was your ticket
outta the gutter, pal,
610
00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:21,483
and you just blew it.
611
00:23:21,525 --> 00:23:22,859
You're officially fuckin'
fired!
612
00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:24,903
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
613
00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:26,696
Fuck you, fuck--God--
614
00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:28,407
Fuck you!
615
00:23:28,448 --> 00:23:30,325
You like that, motherfucker?
616
00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:31,910
Oh, you feel that shit?
617
00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:33,745
Fuck you, Youens!
618
00:23:33,787 --> 00:23:36,415
Hey! Hey, what the hell
are you doin'?
619
00:23:36,456 --> 00:23:38,458
What the fuck?
620
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:43,422
Fuck off!
621
00:23:43,463 --> 00:23:44,631
-Fuck! Shit!
-Don't move!
622
00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:48,760
At that university,
623
00:23:48,802 --> 00:23:50,971
it was his exemplary actions
624
00:23:51,012 --> 00:23:52,472
and behavior
625
00:23:52,514 --> 00:23:54,266
that laid the foundation
626
00:23:54,307 --> 00:23:56,768
for his future life
in diversity.
627
00:23:56,810 --> 00:23:58,520
So you can help me get a job?
Gotta get a job.
628
00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:00,063
I came to get the details
about the job.
629
00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:02,232
The first day a work,
you'll be cryin' like a baby.
630
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,567
[Lip] I'm guessing
they're planning on having us
631
00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:05,235
dump toxic waste
someplace where toxic waste
632
00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:06,778
should not be dumped.
633
00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:08,738
-I think I tweaked my back.
-You're not gunnin' for
634
00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:10,532
-Workman's Comp, are ya, kid?
-No, I-I just--
635
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:12,576
Good. 'Cause the comp
stands for competition
636
00:24:12,617 --> 00:24:14,536
from the Mexicans
who all want your job.
637
00:24:14,578 --> 00:24:16,204
-Aah!
-Next man up.
638
00:24:16,246 --> 00:24:17,956
-Phillip, Tito. Senior Intern.
-Hey.
639
00:24:17,998 --> 00:24:19,040
You can start by getting
coffee.
640
00:24:19,082 --> 00:24:20,292
Four double shots of expresso.
641
00:24:20,333 --> 00:24:21,460
He doesn't like to
take the goggles off.
642
00:24:21,501 --> 00:24:22,627
Copy that.
643
00:24:22,669 --> 00:24:24,963
-Gotta piss!
-Oh, that's you, man.
644
00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:26,965
You're changing
his piss bag.
645
00:24:29,843 --> 00:24:33,972
No one move. The premises
is under federal investigation.
646
00:24:34,014 --> 00:24:35,765
-What's going on?
-They're seizing the servers.
647
00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:37,142
[woman] Thought you said
this was legal!
648
00:24:37,184 --> 00:24:38,477
[Lip] Yeah, I guess not.
649
00:24:38,518 --> 00:24:40,228
I could use a job.
650
00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:41,771
[woman] Could use
another dishwasher.
651
00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:43,648
-Shit!
-[man] You sure about this?
652
00:24:43,690 --> 00:24:45,317
I mean, WiFi is a little
out of my comfort zone.
653
00:24:45,358 --> 00:24:47,110
[Lip] It's time to get
a piece of the action.
654
00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:49,029
They don't suspect
a fucking thing.
655
00:24:49,070 --> 00:24:50,864
The system's down.
You think they're onto us?
656
00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:52,782
No, no, no, the website
just went back online.
657
00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:54,367
-It probably just crashed.
-Okay, let me know
658
00:24:54,409 --> 00:24:56,828
-when it's back up.
-All right, I'm on it.
659
00:24:56,870 --> 00:24:58,205
How long till we're up
and running again?
660
00:24:58,246 --> 00:24:59,998
-We're shut down.
-Fuck me.
661
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,791
You--take care of Rocky!
662
00:25:01,833 --> 00:25:03,960
Take care of Rocky!
663
00:25:07,797 --> 00:25:09,591
-Oh, my God--
-[Lip] Hey, stop!
664
00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:10,967
This is my job!
665
00:25:11,009 --> 00:25:13,678
So what qualifies you
to be a sober companion?
666
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,515
I know how a drunk thinks.
667
00:25:20,393 --> 00:25:22,854
Here we go.
Virgin Bloody Mary.
668
00:25:22,896 --> 00:25:24,981
-Are you positive it's virgin?
-It's absolutely,
669
00:25:25,023 --> 00:25:26,900
one hundred percent a virgin.
670
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,611
-Oh, my God!
-You told Fred the waiter
671
00:25:29,653 --> 00:25:31,029
that a virgin meant
to make it a double
672
00:25:31,071 --> 00:25:32,697
when I was in the bathroom.
673
00:25:37,327 --> 00:25:39,955
-[shower continues running]
-All right, Fredtastic.
674
00:25:39,996 --> 00:25:42,958
Let's get you outta here
before we both melt, huh?
675
00:25:42,999 --> 00:25:45,043
There we go.
[water stops]
676
00:25:45,085 --> 00:25:46,461
-Come on, come on, come on.
-[Fred fusses]
677
00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:48,046
Chh, chh, chh, chh, chh,
chh, chh.
678
00:25:48,088 --> 00:25:51,883
Chh-chh-chh, chh-chh-chh,
chh-chh-chh.
679
00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:54,386
All right, handsome.
680
00:25:54,427 --> 00:25:57,973
Let's go ahead and prop you
up right here, all right?
681
00:25:58,014 --> 00:26:01,059
That will help you breathe
a little bit better.
682
00:26:01,101 --> 00:26:03,395
Right? Hopefully.
683
00:26:03,436 --> 00:26:05,897
Get you nice and comfy.
684
00:26:07,274 --> 00:26:09,276
There we go now.
685
00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:13,613
Now I want you to try
and rest your eyes, okay?
686
00:26:13,655 --> 00:26:16,908
Try and rest your eyes,
get some sleep, huh?
687
00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:21,246
You know, if I was anything
like your Granddad Frank,
688
00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:25,667
I'd give you some special
magic juice to go to sleep.
689
00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:28,336
You know, that's what he used
to give me when I was little.
690
00:26:28,378 --> 00:26:31,590
Which is why I liked
that special magic juice
691
00:26:31,631 --> 00:26:33,633
so much when I got older.
692
00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:37,262
But I'm not gonna
do that to you,
693
00:26:37,304 --> 00:26:39,264
all right?
694
00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:43,268
That "like father, like son"
tradition ends right here.
695
00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:45,353
Why you gotta be
such an asshole?
696
00:26:45,395 --> 00:26:46,563
Apple fell
where you dropped it.
697
00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:49,774
Push-ups.
10 bucks in.
698
00:26:49,816 --> 00:26:51,443
-My kid'll hold.
-[woman] 20.
699
00:26:51,484 --> 00:26:52,527
[Lip] Thank you.
700
00:26:52,569 --> 00:26:53,778
And go!
701
00:26:53,820 --> 00:26:54,904
One...
702
00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:56,615
-seven, eight...
-[men coughing]
703
00:26:56,656 --> 00:26:58,825
Nine! Bobby's done.
704
00:26:58,867 --> 00:27:00,076
[Bobby coughing]
705
00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:01,244
32...
706
00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:02,871
Oh!
707
00:27:02,912 --> 00:27:05,749
[laughter, chatter]
708
00:27:05,790 --> 00:27:06,916
Hey, can I get another shot?
709
00:27:06,958 --> 00:27:08,668
Hey, can I get another?
710
00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:10,795
-[Frank] Whoa!
-[Monica] You look like shit.
711
00:27:10,837 --> 00:27:12,922
Lookin' like a chip off
the old block there, son.
712
00:27:16,092 --> 00:27:17,510
-You're just like me.
-[Lip] You hear me?
713
00:27:17,552 --> 00:27:18,720
I'm not my fucking dad!
714
00:27:18,762 --> 00:27:20,972
Are you supposed to give
valium to a baby?
715
00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:22,474
It always worked with you.
716
00:27:22,515 --> 00:27:24,225
Try a speedball
after a bender.
717
00:27:24,267 --> 00:27:26,144
Next day, you'll be
movin' like a pro.
718
00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:27,729
-Dine 'n dash?
-Bite and bolt.
719
00:27:27,771 --> 00:27:28,938
Take the front door.
720
00:27:28,980 --> 00:27:30,398
Do you think, in his own way,
721
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,400
Frank's actually
a pretty good dad?
722
00:27:32,442 --> 00:27:33,735
No.
723
00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:35,111
[slurring] I remember
the first time
724
00:27:35,153 --> 00:27:36,613
-I brought you here.
-Fuck you!
725
00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:37,989
You never took me skating.
726
00:27:38,031 --> 00:27:39,783
Gallaghers do not puke.
727
00:27:39,824 --> 00:27:41,576
Domino effect!
728
00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:44,412
-[woman] Oh!
-[man] Ohh!
729
00:27:44,454 --> 00:27:47,082
Okay, now, where were we, huh?
730
00:27:47,123 --> 00:27:49,125
What were we talkin' about?
731
00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:50,752
We were, um...
732
00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:53,672
with Lip in college, right?
733
00:27:53,713 --> 00:27:55,757
Now, when Lip was done
with school,
734
00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:59,511
like many millennials,
he moved home
735
00:27:59,552 --> 00:28:03,473
to the comfort and stability
of his family and neighborhood.
736
00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:06,893
[crowd cheering]
737
00:28:06,935 --> 00:28:08,687
[Lip] Hey, nicely done, Deb.
738
00:28:08,728 --> 00:28:10,355
Great job!
739
00:28:10,397 --> 00:28:13,316
Can someone help me get down,
please, for fuck's sake!
740
00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:14,984
Lookin' for some workers
741
00:28:15,026 --> 00:28:16,695
to help with
a home masonry project.
742
00:28:16,736 --> 00:28:18,822
-Frank?
-Pickax...sledge hammer.
743
00:28:20,031 --> 00:28:22,325
[Fiona grunting loudly]
744
00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:23,785
-[thudding]
-[Monica] What the fuck?
745
00:28:23,827 --> 00:28:25,161
Aah!
746
00:28:25,203 --> 00:28:27,997
[Lip] Honestly,
I feel like I'm rolling.
747
00:28:28,039 --> 00:28:30,375
Did you spike
our fuckin' drinks?
748
00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:32,502
Yeah, with Molly.
It's a party.
749
00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:33,837
This is how you help me
stay sober?
750
00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:35,213
She was acting
in your best interests.
751
00:28:35,255 --> 00:28:37,507
I don't know why
I'm even surprised.
752
00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:38,883
I'm surprised--
I mean, since when
753
00:28:38,925 --> 00:28:40,635
have they ever shared
their drugs?
754
00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:42,887
This is how you get down,
get down to it
755
00:28:42,929 --> 00:28:45,098
This is how you
get down, get down to it
756
00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:48,685
Fuck. Epic party.
757
00:28:48,727 --> 00:28:51,229
No reason
not to keep it goin'.
758
00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:52,397
Wakey, wakey.
759
00:28:54,774 --> 00:28:56,359
Monica?
760
00:28:56,401 --> 00:28:58,153
Monica?
Come on, sweetheart.
761
00:28:58,194 --> 00:28:59,904
Come on.
Come on, open your eyes.
762
00:28:59,946 --> 00:29:01,114
Come on!
763
00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:02,490
She shit herself?
764
00:29:02,532 --> 00:29:03,950
People shit themselves
when they die.
765
00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:06,035
-So she's dead.
-[woman] Yes.
766
00:29:06,077 --> 00:29:08,204
-[Lip] Drug overdose?
- Massive cerebral hemorrhage.
767
00:29:08,246 --> 00:29:09,581
[Veronica]
All that's Monica's stuff?
768
00:29:09,622 --> 00:29:11,416
Anybody got a rock
and a lighter?
769
00:29:11,458 --> 00:29:13,084
What's the tag say?
770
00:29:13,126 --> 00:29:14,377
Monica had a storage unit?
771
00:29:15,628 --> 00:29:17,881
Your inheritance.
772
00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:19,758
[Fiona] Frank found
seven pounds of meth
773
00:29:19,799 --> 00:29:22,051
in some shitty storage locker
774
00:29:22,093 --> 00:29:23,720
that Monica had,
and now he wants to sell it.
775
00:29:23,762 --> 00:29:26,598
It's like a family heirloom--
only drugs.
776
00:29:26,639 --> 00:29:28,057
And it's getting flushed
down the toilet!
777
00:29:28,099 --> 00:29:32,061
Nobody flushes $70,000' worth
of maternal bequest.
778
00:29:32,103 --> 00:29:33,271
-How much?
779
00:29:33,313 --> 00:29:34,731
-Lip.
-What?
780
00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:37,275
-[Carl] I moved your meth.
-[whistles]
781
00:29:37,317 --> 00:29:39,319
Got your Monica Franklins.
782
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,196
[Frank] Smoked up all my meth.
783
00:29:41,237 --> 00:29:43,072
Got over your mother,
and now I'm a new man.
784
00:29:43,114 --> 00:29:44,449
Hey!
785
00:29:44,491 --> 00:29:47,118
You're the little fuckers
who stole my meth.
786
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,120
-[Carl] Aw, shit!
-Hey, wait--
787
00:29:49,162 --> 00:29:51,956
Fuckin' Monica, fuckin' up
our lives, even in death.
788
00:29:51,998 --> 00:29:54,793
This meth head doesn't know
where we live.
789
00:29:54,834 --> 00:29:56,085
[Ian] Hey!
790
00:29:56,127 --> 00:29:57,086
Yo!
791
00:29:57,128 --> 00:29:58,630
Uhh!
792
00:29:58,671 --> 00:30:00,757
[Eric] Either she smoked it,
she sold it,
793
00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:02,300
or her fucked-up family
stole it.
794
00:30:02,342 --> 00:30:03,968
And in any one of those
scenarios,
795
00:30:04,010 --> 00:30:07,472
I am still owed
70 fuckin' grand!
796
00:30:07,514 --> 00:30:08,890
-[Debbie] You could tell us...
-[Lip] Just tell us
797
00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:10,141
what you did with
the last two pounds of meth.
798
00:30:10,183 --> 00:30:11,392
[Ian] Is this the part
where you lecture us?
799
00:30:11,434 --> 00:30:12,811
'Cause if you could just
speed it up a little--
800
00:30:12,852 --> 00:30:14,187
You wanna be a smartass,
you want my help?
801
00:30:14,229 --> 00:30:15,188
[whispers] I was right.
802
00:30:15,230 --> 00:30:16,189
I was right!
803
00:30:16,231 --> 00:30:18,149
I was super fuckin' right!
804
00:30:18,191 --> 00:30:19,943
You were right,
and I was wrong, Fiona.
805
00:30:19,984 --> 00:30:21,653
-[inhales]
-[Carl] Now, can you please
806
00:30:21,694 --> 00:30:23,029
tell us where you put
the rest of the drugs
807
00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:25,448
so that motherfucker
doesn't eat your eyeballs too.
808
00:30:25,490 --> 00:30:27,283
We're gonna need
a lotta shovels.
809
00:30:27,325 --> 00:30:28,868
punchy notes
810
00:30:28,910 --> 00:30:31,955
[Ian] Ugh! This is some
seriously sick shit.
811
00:30:31,996 --> 00:30:34,374
[Lip] Yeah, no joke, Fiona.
812
00:30:34,415 --> 00:30:35,875
[Debbie] Oh, God--who buries
her mother with meth?
813
00:30:35,917 --> 00:30:39,712
[engine approaches]
814
00:30:39,754 --> 00:30:42,382
rock music
815
00:30:47,637 --> 00:30:49,389
[Fiona] Go, go! Go!
[overlapping shouting]
816
00:30:49,430 --> 00:30:52,392
-[Debbie] Go!
-[Fiona] Oh, my God!
817
00:30:56,271 --> 00:30:58,439
Oh, careful, Carl.
Don't go too deep, all right?
818
00:30:59,232 --> 00:31:03,027
Yeah
819
00:31:11,661 --> 00:31:14,539
- Now
-[commotion]
820
00:31:14,581 --> 00:31:17,208
rock music
821
00:31:20,378 --> 00:31:22,714
-What is that smell?
-That stench?
822
00:31:22,755 --> 00:31:25,842
That's Monica.
And if you come near my family,
823
00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:29,053
as God is my witness,
I will bury you with her.
824
00:31:29,095 --> 00:31:32,223
And by this time,
825
00:31:32,265 --> 00:31:36,227
Lip became an upstanding
member of the community
826
00:31:36,269 --> 00:31:39,731
and contributed
to the betterment of society.
827
00:31:39,772 --> 00:31:43,359
Eight hours a day
828
00:31:43,401 --> 00:31:46,237
Forty hours a week
829
00:31:47,822 --> 00:31:49,449
Jesus, what the hell, Lip?
830
00:31:49,490 --> 00:31:51,242
What, you never learned
how to throw a fucking punch?
831
00:31:56,372 --> 00:31:57,874
Oh, that's it?
Ohh!
832
00:31:57,916 --> 00:32:00,418
Oh, damn!
833
00:32:01,794 --> 00:32:03,254
-[man] Come here!
-[Lip] Easy, easy, easy!
834
00:32:12,221 --> 00:32:16,351
He'd grown into
a strapping young man
835
00:32:16,392 --> 00:32:18,686
who was ready to face the world
836
00:32:18,728 --> 00:32:20,772
and make something of himself.
837
00:32:20,813 --> 00:32:22,440
This is what happens
when your entire life
838
00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:24,192
goes completely to shit.
839
00:32:24,233 --> 00:32:25,693
Wanna do something
silly and stupid?
840
00:32:25,735 --> 00:32:27,236
It's cool if I, uh, wear this?
841
00:32:27,278 --> 00:32:28,279
Long as you wear nothing else.
842
00:32:28,321 --> 00:32:29,906
-Go!
-No--no!
843
00:32:29,948 --> 00:32:32,575
I kinda have to
stay soberish.
844
00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:34,953
[Sierra] Why? You driving
heavy machinery later tonight?
845
00:32:34,994 --> 00:32:37,038
If your vagina's heavy
machinery, then yeah, I am.
846
00:32:39,666 --> 00:32:42,001
[Sierra]
This is gonna be funny.
847
00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:43,670
Hi, Lip. Are you gonna
have sex with my sister?
848
00:32:43,711 --> 00:32:45,171
-Ha...
-I'm glad you're
849
00:32:45,213 --> 00:32:46,798
-her new boyfriend.
-I'm not her boyfriend.
850
00:32:46,839 --> 00:32:47,966
You gonna keep it fun
and casual?
851
00:32:48,007 --> 00:32:50,009
I could casually
go down on you later.
852
00:32:50,051 --> 00:32:52,136
Bring your tongue.
853
00:32:52,178 --> 00:32:54,138
[Sierra moaning]
Oh, fucking hell.
854
00:32:54,180 --> 00:32:55,431
Don't forget anal.
855
00:32:55,473 --> 00:32:56,975
[door opens, closes]
856
00:32:57,016 --> 00:32:58,935
We're not doing anal.
857
00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:00,228
-Unbelievable.
-You never heard of
858
00:33:00,269 --> 00:33:01,562
female ejaculation?
859
00:33:01,604 --> 00:33:03,314
That's the white whale!
860
00:33:03,356 --> 00:33:05,775
Every guys dreams of it, but
only a few ever get the chance.
861
00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:07,986
Oh, no, I-I just thought
it was a myth.
862
00:33:08,027 --> 00:33:09,487
Jesus, you think
I get goosebumps
863
00:33:09,529 --> 00:33:11,322
every time you whip out
your magic cock?
864
00:33:11,364 --> 00:33:13,658
Ah. Mind...blown.
865
00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:15,326
Sounds fun.
866
00:33:15,368 --> 00:33:16,995
-You've been drinking?
- No. Hey.
867
00:33:17,036 --> 00:33:18,246
[Sierra] I already have
one out-of-control addict
868
00:33:18,287 --> 00:33:20,790
in my life--I don't need two.
869
00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:22,166
Hey, man, are we
in the north side?
870
00:33:22,208 --> 00:33:23,626
You broke into my home?
871
00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:24,836
-What?
-Get some help.
872
00:33:24,877 --> 00:33:26,004
Please get help.
873
00:33:28,548 --> 00:33:30,675
Coming in, buddy?
874
00:33:34,929 --> 00:33:37,181
I woke up this morning feeling
like I really needed a drink.
875
00:33:37,223 --> 00:33:38,474
Good with your hands?
876
00:33:38,516 --> 00:33:41,477
rock music
877
00:33:41,519 --> 00:33:43,980
-Hi.
-Fuck off, runt.
878
00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:46,065
You gonna fix that bike
or fuck it?
879
00:33:46,107 --> 00:33:48,192
-[Lip] What's your problem?
-He's been yappin' about ass
880
00:33:48,234 --> 00:33:49,861
-nonstop.
-You gotta stay busy, man.
881
00:33:49,902 --> 00:33:52,405
I need some fuckin' pussy!
882
00:33:52,447 --> 00:33:54,699
Get upstairs. Now.
883
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,368
rock music
884
00:33:57,410 --> 00:33:59,203
[Lip] Oh--
885
00:34:01,372 --> 00:34:02,665
Think you can hit me
a little less?
886
00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:03,916
Shut up!
887
00:34:03,958 --> 00:34:06,210
-Ohh, damn it!
-Say it, bitch!
888
00:34:06,252 --> 00:34:08,838
-See you at the shop, runt.
-Yeah--uh...
889
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,214
You know you got
a little scratch on your--
890
00:34:10,256 --> 00:34:11,591
Hey, piss off.
891
00:34:13,092 --> 00:34:14,802
You ever hear of a safe word?
892
00:34:14,844 --> 00:34:16,179
Yeah. How 'bout stop?
893
00:34:16,220 --> 00:34:17,638
-[slap]
-[Lip] Ooh...
894
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:19,390
-[slap]
-[Debbie murmurs to self]
895
00:34:19,432 --> 00:34:21,225
-[both moaning]
-[Lip] Shit!
896
00:34:21,267 --> 00:34:22,560
-[slap]
-[Lip] Oh!
897
00:34:22,602 --> 00:34:23,895
Should we help 'em?
898
00:34:23,936 --> 00:34:25,480
Sounds voluntary.
899
00:34:25,521 --> 00:34:27,857
-Barb?
-Oh, hey, hi.
900
00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:29,192
-Hey.
-How's it going, man?
901
00:34:29,233 --> 00:34:30,401
-It's all right.
-Have a seat.
902
00:34:30,443 --> 00:34:32,528
Thanks. Uh...
903
00:34:32,570 --> 00:34:33,738
Thanks for--for meeting me,
you know.
904
00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:35,907
Brad spoke very highly of you,
so...
905
00:34:35,948 --> 00:34:38,367
I-I didn't know I could
have a woman as a sponsor.
906
00:34:38,409 --> 00:34:40,119
Oh, yeah. Anybody's a sponsor
as long as
907
00:34:40,161 --> 00:34:43,122
there is no risk of falling
in love with that person.
908
00:34:43,164 --> 00:34:45,583
Well, you never know, right?
909
00:34:45,625 --> 00:34:47,543
Ah...fat chance, honey.
[both chuckle]
910
00:34:47,585 --> 00:34:50,797
So...what are we doing here?
911
00:34:50,838 --> 00:34:53,424
Uh, well...
912
00:34:53,466 --> 00:34:55,885
I-I got some shit goin' on,
you know.
913
00:34:55,927 --> 00:34:58,012
I got this professor.
He got carted off to prison.
914
00:34:58,054 --> 00:34:59,305
Come on,
you have court today.
915
00:34:59,347 --> 00:35:00,890
I got this ex
who's dating this guy
916
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:02,600
who just got some other
girl pregnant, so--
917
00:35:02,642 --> 00:35:05,770
I'm sorry, did I just walk into
an episode of Gossip Girl?
918
00:35:05,812 --> 00:35:07,355
I-I'm sharing, you know.
919
00:35:07,396 --> 00:35:09,482
-Where's Eddie?
-She quit.
920
00:35:09,524 --> 00:35:11,818
Took off for Cabo with some guy
she met at Sturgis.
921
00:35:11,859 --> 00:35:14,112
-She coming back for the kid?
-Should call Social Services
922
00:35:14,153 --> 00:35:15,738
-to come pick her up.
-Why don't you come stay
923
00:35:15,780 --> 00:35:17,782
-with me for a couple days?
-That'd be cool.
924
00:35:17,824 --> 00:35:19,117
Coming?
925
00:35:22,745 --> 00:35:24,622
-Say hi, Ted.
-Hey.
926
00:35:24,664 --> 00:35:25,915
Oh, hell, no.
Bye, Ted.
927
00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:28,376
-Hey!
-[Lip] He has a beard.
928
00:35:28,417 --> 00:35:29,544
-How do I look?
-Stupid.
929
00:35:29,585 --> 00:35:30,711
Thanks.
That's what I was goin' for.
930
00:35:30,753 --> 00:35:31,879
What is it?
What's going on?
931
00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:33,131
They let my dad out.
932
00:35:33,172 --> 00:35:34,465
[Lip] Is--is it true
933
00:35:34,507 --> 00:35:35,716
that you like to beat women?
934
00:35:35,758 --> 00:35:36,968
I guess what I'm asking is
935
00:35:37,009 --> 00:35:38,636
are you a little bitch
woman-beat--
936
00:35:38,678 --> 00:35:41,389
[both grunting]
937
00:35:41,430 --> 00:35:43,349
[man] You hear me?
A fuckin' dead man!
938
00:35:44,350 --> 00:35:46,102
How'd we do?
939
00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:47,812
-He swung first.
-Oh, yeah?
940
00:35:47,854 --> 00:35:49,605
Uh, yeah, I'd like to
report an assault.
941
00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:51,149
Charlie got some girl
pregnant.
942
00:35:51,190 --> 00:35:52,692
She just had the fuckin' baby.
943
00:35:52,733 --> 00:35:54,610
Are you still delivering
those special pizzas?
944
00:35:54,652 --> 00:35:56,320
Have it there in under 30.
945
00:35:56,362 --> 00:35:58,114
[Charlie] Charlie, an addict.
I got a delivery.
946
00:35:58,156 --> 00:36:00,741
A gram of coke.
On a pizza.
947
00:36:00,783 --> 00:36:02,869
I didn't do it yet--I don't
know what to do with it.
948
00:36:02,910 --> 00:36:05,163
So I called my sponsor...
949
00:36:05,204 --> 00:36:07,165
I was gonna sabotage Charlie.
Planted coke on him.
950
00:36:07,206 --> 00:36:09,333
Then I felt guilty.
Broke into his apartment.
951
00:36:09,375 --> 00:36:10,918
Flushed the drugs.
Got attacked by his dog.
952
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:12,461
[barking]
953
00:36:12,503 --> 00:36:13,754
-[snarling]
-Ow!
954
00:36:13,796 --> 00:36:14,839
Let go!
955
00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:16,883
-[growling]
-God...fuck!
956
00:36:16,924 --> 00:36:19,343
Hey, I-I gotta go, all right?
My kid's in the emergency room.
957
00:36:19,385 --> 00:36:20,928
-You have a kid?
-We'll get her over to X-ray
958
00:36:20,970 --> 00:36:22,513
-and set the arm.
-Okay.
959
00:36:22,555 --> 00:36:24,182
And we can only release her
to a parent or legal guardian.
960
00:36:24,223 --> 00:36:25,516
Okay, sweetie.
961
00:36:27,727 --> 00:36:29,937
[rapid beeping]
962
00:36:29,979 --> 00:36:32,106
exciting music
963
00:36:32,148 --> 00:36:34,025
[whispering] Hey!
[urgent whispering]
964
00:36:34,066 --> 00:36:35,943
Come on, we're gonna hide.
965
00:36:35,985 --> 00:36:38,863
Baby, why you got me so
shook shook up, yeah
966
00:36:38,905 --> 00:36:41,365
[overlapping commands]
967
00:36:41,407 --> 00:36:43,868
Oh oh oh oh
968
00:36:43,910 --> 00:36:46,704
Oh
969
00:36:46,746 --> 00:36:49,373
If your mom doesn't come back,
do you wanna stay with me here?
970
00:36:49,415 --> 00:36:51,375
Yeah. That'd be good.
971
00:36:52,919 --> 00:36:54,503
This is what I'm going through.
972
00:36:54,545 --> 00:36:56,881
Oh...[laughs] what the hell
are you talking about, man?
973
00:36:56,923 --> 00:36:59,175
You're not going through
any of that crap.
974
00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:01,469
I mean, you have convinced
yourself that you are.
975
00:37:01,510 --> 00:37:03,346
-Uh-huh.
-It's, uh, fucking classic
976
00:37:03,387 --> 00:37:05,014
co-dependence.
977
00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:06,724
[Xan] Mom?
978
00:37:06,766 --> 00:37:09,685
soft music
979
00:37:11,812 --> 00:37:13,481
[crying] I knew
you'd come back for me.
980
00:37:13,522 --> 00:37:15,066
Oh, my girl.
981
00:37:21,739 --> 00:37:23,908
I think you should give Charlie
one last chance.
982
00:37:23,950 --> 00:37:26,410
-What?
-I've been drunk...
983
00:37:26,452 --> 00:37:29,538
or high almost every day
since I was 12 years old.
984
00:37:29,580 --> 00:37:31,582
-Do you fucking love me?
-I don't know.
985
00:37:31,624 --> 00:37:33,167
-I want to.
-[softly] Jesus.
986
00:37:33,209 --> 00:37:34,418
Okay? And it's because
I care about you.
987
00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:37,088
Just go, Lip!
988
00:37:37,129 --> 00:37:38,756
Please.
989
00:37:38,798 --> 00:37:39,924
[crying] Oh, my God.
990
00:37:39,966 --> 00:37:42,093
I'm sorry.
991
00:37:45,972 --> 00:37:47,348
Co-dependent, huh?
992
00:37:47,390 --> 00:37:49,433
Try some Greek Goddess.
993
00:37:51,644 --> 00:37:52,853
The fuck is in this?
994
00:37:52,895 --> 00:37:54,605
[Tami] Hey.
995
00:37:54,647 --> 00:37:55,940
[Lip] Hey.
996
00:37:55,982 --> 00:37:57,441
-Is he better?
-[fussing]
997
00:37:57,483 --> 00:37:59,235
[Lip] A little bit.
998
00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:01,821
Ah. Do you want me
to read to him now?
999
00:38:01,862 --> 00:38:03,948
No, it's all right.
1000
00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:06,993
I'm telling him my own story.
1001
00:38:07,034 --> 00:38:08,995
-Oh, yeah?
-Uh, yeah.
1002
00:38:09,036 --> 00:38:10,413
Just about to get
to the best part.
1003
00:38:10,454 --> 00:38:12,373
[laughs] Okay, well...
1004
00:38:12,415 --> 00:38:14,500
don't let me stop you.
1005
00:38:16,961 --> 00:38:20,256
Now, even though Lip...
1006
00:38:20,298 --> 00:38:21,841
was a model citizen
1007
00:38:21,882 --> 00:38:24,218
and was living
the American dream...
1008
00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:26,762
-Wait. This is about you?
-Shh, shh, shh.
1009
00:38:26,804 --> 00:38:29,890
He knew that something
was missing
1010
00:38:29,932 --> 00:38:31,934
in his life,
1011
00:38:31,976 --> 00:38:35,271
that someone was missing
in his life.
1012
00:38:35,313 --> 00:38:37,315
His heart was so full of love,
1013
00:38:37,356 --> 00:38:39,608
and he wanted to
share that love,
1014
00:38:39,650 --> 00:38:43,988
you know, with a kind
and special woman.
1015
00:38:45,489 --> 00:38:47,158
That's me.
1016
00:38:47,199 --> 00:38:49,827
-Uh, maid of honor?
-Yep, her sister, Tami.
1017
00:38:51,871 --> 00:38:54,165
[Brad] So you and Tami
hit it off at the wedding.
1018
00:38:54,206 --> 00:38:55,416
[laughs] Yeah.
Yeah, she's cute.
1019
00:38:55,458 --> 00:38:56,459
-Come on.
-Where?
1020
00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:57,960
The maid of honor
and best man
1021
00:38:58,002 --> 00:38:59,337
always hook up
at these things.
1022
00:38:59,378 --> 00:39:00,588
Take her out on a real date.
1023
00:39:00,629 --> 00:39:01,922
Go out for a steak
or something.
1024
00:39:01,964 --> 00:39:04,258
-[Lip] You've done this before?
-Seven times.
1025
00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:06,802
You want my wedding pussy,
don't you?
1026
00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:09,722
[Brad] There's nothing like
a good woman to ground you.
1027
00:39:09,764 --> 00:39:11,140
-Fuck!
-[Brad] Could be the one.
1028
00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:12,433
You never know.
1029
00:39:12,475 --> 00:39:14,685
Okay, let's finish
this thing.
1030
00:39:14,727 --> 00:39:15,978
-I need another drink.
-Look, I thought maybe
1031
00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:18,189
you'd wanna, uh...
go out to dinner.
1032
00:39:18,230 --> 00:39:20,107
-Nah, I'm good.
-What?
1033
00:39:20,149 --> 00:39:22,318
-You fuck for shit.
-I-I don't fuck for shit.
1034
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,737
Oh, yeah, no,
you fuck for shit.
1035
00:39:24,779 --> 00:39:26,530
You were all like,
jab, jab, jab.
1036
00:39:26,572 --> 00:39:28,407
-Jab-jab-jab-jab-jab.
-I was just trying to be
1037
00:39:28,449 --> 00:39:29,909
-a nice guy.
-Well, then you should have
1038
00:39:29,950 --> 00:39:31,410
fucked me good and hard,
1039
00:39:31,452 --> 00:39:33,412
'cause that would have been
a nice guy.
1040
00:39:33,454 --> 00:39:35,081
You know, have a good life,
Pukey.
1041
00:39:35,122 --> 00:39:36,916
Yeah, see ya later, Jabby.
1042
00:39:36,957 --> 00:39:40,044
You guys invited Jabby?
Jabby!
1043
00:39:40,086 --> 00:39:42,213
Last time I saw you,
you asked me to dinner.
1044
00:39:42,254 --> 00:39:43,547
-That offer still good?
-Why, you wanna go
1045
00:39:43,589 --> 00:39:45,049
-on a date now?
-Fuck me. I mean,
1046
00:39:45,091 --> 00:39:46,384
I must be really hard up.
1047
00:39:46,425 --> 00:39:47,885
Wanna try to fuck me
properly this time?
1048
00:39:47,927 --> 00:39:48,886
What, like now?
1049
00:39:48,928 --> 00:39:51,389
[loud thudding]
1050
00:39:52,723 --> 00:39:54,517
-[Lip] So?
- Eh.
1051
00:39:54,558 --> 00:39:56,227
-Six outta ten?
-What?
1052
00:39:56,268 --> 00:39:57,895
That's it.
We're going again, all right?
1053
00:39:57,937 --> 00:39:59,688
And, I'm not letting you
outta this car
1054
00:39:59,730 --> 00:40:01,399
until I get a ten.
1055
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,150
-This is my car, punk.
-Hey, I don't care
1056
00:40:03,192 --> 00:40:05,236
-how long this takes.
-Okay, well, wake me
1057
00:40:05,277 --> 00:40:07,321
when it's over.
1058
00:40:07,363 --> 00:40:09,824
[laughing]
1059
00:40:09,865 --> 00:40:10,908
Oh!
1060
00:40:10,950 --> 00:40:11,909
[door opens]
1061
00:40:11,951 --> 00:40:13,577
Hey, Jabby.
1062
00:40:13,619 --> 00:40:15,037
One of us needs to have
an apartment
1063
00:40:15,079 --> 00:40:16,956
so that we have a fuck pad,
so man up.
1064
00:40:16,997 --> 00:40:19,291
This guy has maybe the biggest
dick I've ever seen.
1065
00:40:19,333 --> 00:40:22,253
It's bulging through his pants
like a fucking balloon animal.
1066
00:40:22,294 --> 00:40:23,879
Don't look, though.
Don't look!
1067
00:40:23,921 --> 00:40:26,424
Whoa! No way that's real.
1068
00:40:26,465 --> 00:40:27,967
-It's real.
-[Lip] We gotta go.
1069
00:40:28,008 --> 00:40:30,302
-I can't live here, all right?
-If you don't believe me...
1070
00:40:30,344 --> 00:40:32,221
Hey, no, we believe you,
man, we believe you, okay?
1071
00:40:32,263 --> 00:40:33,431
That's not real!
1072
00:40:33,472 --> 00:40:34,640
-It's not.
-Either way, I don't want
1073
00:40:34,682 --> 00:40:35,933
that guy fixing my sink.
1074
00:40:35,975 --> 00:40:37,435
You know, I've been
thinking about
1075
00:40:37,476 --> 00:40:38,602
turning our basement
into a bedroom.
1076
00:40:38,644 --> 00:40:40,271
This could work, right?
1077
00:40:40,312 --> 00:40:42,440
Okay, was Silence of the Lambs
filmed down here?
1078
00:40:42,481 --> 00:40:43,774
I mean, where's the pit?
1079
00:40:43,816 --> 00:40:45,025
You know, it's actually
out back.
1080
00:40:45,067 --> 00:40:46,110
Come on, I'll show ya.
1081
00:40:46,152 --> 00:40:47,987
So you've got a bar of soap
1082
00:40:48,028 --> 00:40:49,530
with five different colors
of pubes on it.
1083
00:40:49,572 --> 00:40:51,657
Wait, you guys can't all...
share one bar of soap.
1084
00:40:51,699 --> 00:40:53,826
No, I don't--that's why I have
the dishwashing liquid.
1085
00:40:53,868 --> 00:40:55,536
-What is this?
-It's a box of clean underwear.
1086
00:40:55,578 --> 00:40:57,455
Yeah, we share our underwear.
I don't have time to fold.
1087
00:40:57,496 --> 00:40:58,372
-You, Debs?
-[Debbie] Nope.
1088
00:40:58,414 --> 00:41:00,124
What the fuck is that?
1089
00:41:00,166 --> 00:41:01,584
What, what?
1090
00:41:01,625 --> 00:41:03,127
That scratching noise.
1091
00:41:05,838 --> 00:41:08,466
There. Fixed it.
1092
00:41:08,507 --> 00:41:10,050
So what's the deal
with you and my sister?
1093
00:41:10,092 --> 00:41:11,385
[Lip] I don't think
we have a deal.
1094
00:41:11,427 --> 00:41:13,137
Like, are you fucking
other people?
1095
00:41:13,179 --> 00:41:15,598
[Tami] Back off, Corey.
He doesn't want the syph.
1096
00:41:15,639 --> 00:41:18,142
[all whooping]
1097
00:41:18,184 --> 00:41:19,977
-Who's Boone?
-[Brad] Well, right now
1098
00:41:20,019 --> 00:41:21,812
he's the guy kissing
your chick.
1099
00:41:23,230 --> 00:41:25,816
-He really likes you.
-I'm extremely likeable.
1100
00:41:25,858 --> 00:41:27,651
You seem to be handling
yourself pretty well.
1101
00:41:27,693 --> 00:41:28,944
Look, she's not my girlfriend,
all right?
1102
00:41:28,986 --> 00:41:30,154
We can fuck whoever we want.
1103
00:41:30,196 --> 00:41:31,530
Oh, you are fucking
other people.
1104
00:41:35,993 --> 00:41:37,203
I fucked your sister.
1105
00:41:37,244 --> 00:41:39,163
You're...really working hard
1106
00:41:39,205 --> 00:41:40,789
for that Tamietti hat trick.
1107
00:41:40,831 --> 00:41:42,875
Jesus, that doesn't bother you?
1108
00:41:42,917 --> 00:41:44,668
[Tami] It bothers me.
1109
00:41:44,710 --> 00:41:46,837
Bothers me that you
fucked Corey.
1110
00:41:46,879 --> 00:41:48,506
I mean...
[huffs]
1111
00:41:48,547 --> 00:41:50,758
of course it bothers me,
Christ, I--
1112
00:41:50,799 --> 00:41:52,676
Maybe just don't fuck Boone
anymore.
1113
00:41:52,718 --> 00:41:54,512
Fine.
1114
00:41:54,553 --> 00:41:56,430
Don't fuck Corey anymore.
1115
00:41:56,472 --> 00:41:59,350
Yeah, fine. Fine.
1116
00:41:59,391 --> 00:42:02,686
[mellow music]
1117
00:42:09,485 --> 00:42:11,111
Stop staring at me, weirdo.
1118
00:42:11,153 --> 00:42:12,947
[laughs]
1119
00:42:12,988 --> 00:42:17,451
And their life...was peaches
and roses all the time.
1120
00:42:17,493 --> 00:42:19,537
And when they found out
that they were with child...
1121
00:42:19,578 --> 00:42:20,996
Fuck!
1122
00:42:21,038 --> 00:42:24,375
Rainbows appeared
as if from nowhere,
1123
00:42:24,416 --> 00:42:27,169
and birds sang...
1124
00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:30,923
and little woodland creatures
frolicked.
1125
00:42:30,965 --> 00:42:32,216
-I'm pregnant.
-Tami's pregnant.
1126
00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:33,551
She's pregnant.
1127
00:42:33,592 --> 00:42:35,553
-[Lip] Tami's pregnant.
-[Kev] No shit?
1128
00:42:35,594 --> 00:42:36,887
-Yeah.
-Aw, man.
1129
00:42:36,929 --> 00:42:39,598
[Tami] I got a test,
and I saw
1130
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,393
the biggest, bluest plus sign
I've ever seen.
1131
00:42:42,434 --> 00:42:44,228
-Is it yours?
-You sure it's mine?
1132
00:42:44,270 --> 00:42:46,188
-Yeah.
-She says it is.
1133
00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:48,023
I make Boone wear a condom.
He's been in the Philippines.
1134
00:42:48,065 --> 00:42:49,567
I double-bag that shit.
1135
00:42:49,608 --> 00:42:51,569
Holy shit.
Is she gonna keep it?
1136
00:42:51,610 --> 00:42:53,279
-What are you gonna do?
-I don't know.
1137
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:54,738
You having the baby or no?
1138
00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:56,073
The last thing
I need in my life
1139
00:42:56,115 --> 00:42:57,241
is a man telling me
what to do.
1140
00:42:57,283 --> 00:42:59,827
Hey, Tami.
How ya doin'?
1141
00:42:59,868 --> 00:43:02,037
It's none of your
fucking business, Brad.
1142
00:43:02,079 --> 00:43:03,872
If you decide to have the baby,
I wanna make damn sure
1143
00:43:03,914 --> 00:43:05,583
-it has a father.
-I don't wanna have a baby
1144
00:43:05,624 --> 00:43:07,167
just to save my tits!
1145
00:43:07,209 --> 00:43:08,586
Tami's having this baby,
1146
00:43:08,627 --> 00:43:09,837
and I need to know
what your plan is.
1147
00:43:09,878 --> 00:43:10,838
[mouthing]
Baby?
1148
00:43:10,879 --> 00:43:12,423
He doesn't know shit.
1149
00:43:12,464 --> 00:43:14,174
You've been kicking my ass
ever since you got pregnant.
1150
00:43:14,216 --> 00:43:16,093
I've been kicking your ass
since the first day we met.
1151
00:43:16,135 --> 00:43:17,553
[Brad] I can't believe you got
Tami pregnant.
1152
00:43:17,595 --> 00:43:19,221
-Why do you keep saying that?
-Well--
1153
00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:21,181
Hey, honey! Core.
1154
00:43:21,223 --> 00:43:22,725
[whispering]
I'm terrified of these women.
1155
00:43:22,766 --> 00:43:23,767
-It's her decision.
-Goddamn right
1156
00:43:23,809 --> 00:43:25,102
it's her decision.
1157
00:43:25,144 --> 00:43:27,062
-You better now ghost her.
-I won't.
1158
00:43:27,104 --> 00:43:29,189
If you hurt her,
we will fuck you up.
1159
00:43:29,231 --> 00:43:31,066
-We will fuck you up.
-I'm trying to do
1160
00:43:31,108 --> 00:43:33,611
-the right thing.
-Don't fuck with us.
1161
00:43:33,652 --> 00:43:35,112
The goon squad gone?
1162
00:43:35,154 --> 00:43:36,572
Yeah.
1163
00:43:36,614 --> 00:43:38,532
I'm gonna have the baby.
1164
00:43:45,831 --> 00:43:47,416
Good.
1165
00:43:47,458 --> 00:43:48,792
[Tami] What would
I even name it?
1166
00:43:48,834 --> 00:43:50,628
We talkin' a boy or a girl?
1167
00:43:50,669 --> 00:43:52,129
I don't know.
Like, pretend it's a boy.
1168
00:43:52,171 --> 00:43:54,131
-Hambone.
-Wilmoth?
1169
00:43:54,173 --> 00:43:55,758
-Bird?
-Who the hell
1170
00:43:55,799 --> 00:43:57,343
names their kid Bird?
I take it back.
1171
00:43:57,384 --> 00:43:59,762
I will not be there
for our child, all right?
1172
00:43:59,803 --> 00:44:01,972
I'm hungry. Do you wanna
get something to eat?
1173
00:44:02,014 --> 00:44:03,390
I am fucking famished.
1174
00:44:03,432 --> 00:44:04,892
I'm starving.
I need food.
1175
00:44:04,933 --> 00:44:06,060
You like popcorn shrimp?
1176
00:44:06,101 --> 00:44:07,645
I mean, I work in a hair salon.
1177
00:44:07,686 --> 00:44:09,313
I breathe bleach fumes
all day.
1178
00:44:09,355 --> 00:44:10,939
This baby's gonna come out
with like five heads
1179
00:44:10,981 --> 00:44:12,316
-and a dorsal fin.
-You know that mask
1180
00:44:12,358 --> 00:44:13,942
is kinda freaky, right?
- Yeah.
1181
00:44:13,984 --> 00:44:15,986
Well, it's better than junior
being born with flippers
1182
00:44:16,028 --> 00:44:17,321
and a tail.
1183
00:44:17,363 --> 00:44:19,073
Oh, yeah, baby!
1184
00:44:19,114 --> 00:44:20,783
I'm so very, very wet.
1185
00:44:20,824 --> 00:44:22,326
I slipped out again.
I slipped.
1186
00:44:22,368 --> 00:44:24,161
-Hang on, let me get on top.
-All right.
1187
00:44:24,203 --> 00:44:26,830
She wants to have sex
all the time, all right?
1188
00:44:26,872 --> 00:44:28,666
Three times last night
and again this morning.
1189
00:44:28,707 --> 00:44:30,626
Y-w-whoa, whoa--
I just felt the baby kick.
1190
00:44:30,668 --> 00:44:32,586
No, focus.
1191
00:44:32,628 --> 00:44:35,005
Baby likes it.
Yeah.
1192
00:44:35,047 --> 00:44:37,966
[moaning]
1193
00:44:38,008 --> 00:44:39,968
She's so fucking nice
to me all the time, you know?
1194
00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:43,222
It's all honey, sweetie.
She called me boo this morning.
1195
00:44:43,263 --> 00:44:45,391
I mean, it's alien abduction
movie creepy.
1196
00:44:45,432 --> 00:44:47,393
-I don't like it.
-It won't last.
1197
00:44:47,434 --> 00:44:49,853
Once the baby's born,
with the sleep deprivation,
1198
00:44:49,895 --> 00:44:51,563
and Tami being kind of a
bitch...
1199
00:44:51,605 --> 00:44:53,315
Ah...eh...
1200
00:44:53,357 --> 00:44:55,359
-ooh...ooh...
-Just breathe.
1201
00:44:55,401 --> 00:44:56,860
Ah...
1202
00:44:56,902 --> 00:44:58,862
You think it's real this time?
1203
00:44:58,904 --> 00:45:01,865
Just shut the fuck up and find
a goddamn parking spot!
1204
00:45:01,907 --> 00:45:04,118
She's back!
1205
00:45:04,159 --> 00:45:06,161
[Tami groans]
1206
00:45:06,203 --> 00:45:09,206
rock music
1207
00:45:13,502 --> 00:45:14,795
Can you walk? Can you walk?
1208
00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:16,046
-Yes.
-Yeah?
1209
00:45:16,088 --> 00:45:18,173
-Of course I can walk.
-Can you?
1210
00:45:18,215 --> 00:45:20,134
-Aah!
-Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
1211
00:45:20,175 --> 00:45:22,386
-Should you be squatting?
-Ahh. Did you call my sister?
1212
00:45:22,428 --> 00:45:24,054
-No. Cami? No. No, no, no.
-Aah.
1213
00:45:24,096 --> 00:45:25,889
-'Scuse me!
-I don't want you in there
1214
00:45:25,931 --> 00:45:29,184
staring down my cooch
with a baby head popping out
1215
00:45:29,226 --> 00:45:31,395
while I shit
in a hospital bed.
1216
00:45:31,437 --> 00:45:33,230
All right, I'm gonna
find you a wheelchair
1217
00:45:33,272 --> 00:45:35,566
so you don't have the baby
in the parking lot, all right?
1218
00:45:35,607 --> 00:45:37,192
[Tami groaning]
1219
00:45:37,234 --> 00:45:41,530
Aah...mmm...
1220
00:45:41,572 --> 00:45:43,907
[groans, whimpers]
1221
00:45:43,949 --> 00:45:45,909
-Are you with Ms. Tamietti?
-Yeah, yeah.
1222
00:45:45,951 --> 00:45:47,453
Get your ass in here.
1223
00:45:47,494 --> 00:45:49,246
[doctor] We're performing
an emergency C-section.
1224
00:45:49,288 --> 00:45:50,748
[nurse] We have to get
this baby out now.
1225
00:45:50,789 --> 00:45:52,291
[Tami] No. No, no,
I'm not having a caesarian.
1226
00:45:52,332 --> 00:45:54,418
-I'm having my baby naturally.
-That's not going to happen,
1227
00:45:54,460 --> 00:45:55,919
Tami.
Sign it.
1228
00:45:55,961 --> 00:45:57,588
-I-I'm not really her, uh--
-Are you the father?
1229
00:45:57,629 --> 00:45:59,631
-Yeah. Yes.
-Then you sign it.
1230
00:45:59,673 --> 00:46:01,341
[Lip] Think I'd make
a shitty dad?
1231
00:46:01,383 --> 00:46:03,677
What? No.
You'd make a great dad.
1232
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:05,137
I thought, since you were
1233
00:46:05,179 --> 00:46:07,848
-a great father that you--
-Thank you.
1234
00:46:07,890 --> 00:46:09,433
-[Tami] I want sushi...
-[Lip] Yeah?
1235
00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:11,268
[Tami] Disneyland.
1236
00:46:13,145 --> 00:46:15,731
[baby crying]
1237
00:46:15,773 --> 00:46:19,568
soft music
1238
00:46:19,610 --> 00:46:22,613
I didn't have
much of a role model at home.
1239
00:46:22,654 --> 00:46:23,947
[Kev sighs]
1240
00:46:23,989 --> 00:46:25,365
-[Kev] Frank.
-Yeah.
1241
00:46:25,407 --> 00:46:27,201
No shit.
1242
00:46:27,242 --> 00:46:30,704
Your sweet time
1243
00:46:30,746 --> 00:46:32,748
'Cause you don't know
1244
00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:36,376
What you're looking for
1245
00:46:36,418 --> 00:46:38,086
You just love 'em, man.
1246
00:46:38,128 --> 00:46:39,630
So your dreams stop...
1247
00:46:39,671 --> 00:46:42,049
It's hard to fuck 'em up
if you just love 'em.
1248
00:46:44,092 --> 00:46:45,594
You think you can do that?
1249
00:46:45,636 --> 00:46:48,555
Said come by
1250
00:46:48,597 --> 00:46:51,183
-Yeah.
-Yeah, I think so too.
1251
00:46:52,518 --> 00:46:54,645
I don't know why
1252
00:46:54,686 --> 00:46:56,188
[Debbie, whispering]
Boy or girl?
1253
00:46:56,230 --> 00:46:58,315
[Lip, whispering] Boy.
1254
00:46:58,357 --> 00:47:00,651
Are you sure it's yours?
1255
00:47:03,362 --> 00:47:05,322
Hey, he fell asleep.
1256
00:47:08,283 --> 00:47:09,868
You too.
1257
00:47:16,542 --> 00:47:18,961
When Lip Gallagher
1258
00:47:19,002 --> 00:47:22,214
looked at his sleeping son
and girlfriend,
1259
00:47:22,256 --> 00:47:24,258
and he knew that his journey
1260
00:47:24,299 --> 00:47:28,178
had led him to this moment...
1261
00:47:28,220 --> 00:47:30,514
right here
1262
00:47:30,556 --> 00:47:32,641
and right now...
1263
00:47:32,683 --> 00:47:35,769
[exhales]
1264
00:47:35,811 --> 00:47:38,522
He wouldn't
change a thing.
1265
00:47:40,148 --> 00:47:41,859
Shit.
1266
00:47:41,900 --> 00:47:43,443
-Oh.
-Oh, my--
1267
00:47:43,485 --> 00:47:44,862
Seriously, Fred?
1268
00:47:44,903 --> 00:47:47,281
I'm gonna go to the bathroom
real quick, okay?
1269
00:47:47,322 --> 00:47:48,782
Okay?
1270
00:47:48,824 --> 00:47:50,701
-Everything hurts. Aah!
-All right.
1271
00:47:50,742 --> 00:47:52,995
Shit.
Seriously, I lost my baby?
1272
00:47:53,036 --> 00:47:54,872
I feel like my boobs
are gonna explode.
1273
00:47:54,913 --> 00:47:56,498
Whoa!
1274
00:47:56,540 --> 00:47:58,375
Why do you hate me, huh?
1275
00:47:58,417 --> 00:47:59,418
[crying]
1276
00:47:59,459 --> 00:48:01,128
Here you go, here you go.
1277
00:48:01,169 --> 00:48:02,379
You take your dad's fake tit,
1278
00:48:02,421 --> 00:48:03,922
but you don't want
the real deal?
1279
00:48:03,964 --> 00:48:05,716
You have six to eight
minutes--tops.
1280
00:48:05,757 --> 00:48:08,260
[Lip] Mmm.
Mm--fuck.
1281
00:48:08,302 --> 00:48:09,678
[wailing]
1282
00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:11,221
I'm tired, you know?
1283
00:48:11,263 --> 00:48:12,764
Welcome to parenthood.
1284
00:48:32,117 --> 00:48:34,578
They all lived...
1285
00:48:34,620 --> 00:48:37,748
moderately happy ever after.
1286
00:48:38,415 --> 00:48:41,919
Tex Williams' "Smoke! Smoke!
Smoke! (That cigarette)
1287
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,254
Now, I'm a fella
with a heart of gold
1288
00:48:44,296 --> 00:48:45,923
With the ways of a
gentleman, I've been told
1289
00:48:45,964 --> 00:48:48,050
The kind of a feller that
wouldn't even harm a flea
1290
00:48:49,801 --> 00:48:51,345
But if me and a certain
character met
1291
00:48:51,386 --> 00:48:53,388
The guy that invented
the cigarette
1292
00:48:53,430 --> 00:48:55,599
I'd murder that son of a gun
in the first degree
1293
00:48:57,476 --> 00:48:59,061
'Course it ain't 'cause
I don't smoke myself
1294
00:48:59,102 --> 00:49:00,812
And I don't reckon
they hinder your health
1295
00:49:00,854 --> 00:49:03,106
But I've smoked 'em all my
life and I ain't dead yet
1296
00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:06,485
But nicotine slaves
are all the same
1297
00:49:06,526 --> 00:49:08,862
At a pettin' party
or a poker game
1298
00:49:08,904 --> 00:49:11,198
Everything's gotta stop
while they smoke a cigarette
1299
00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:12,783
Smoke?
1300
00:49:12,824 --> 00:49:14,826
Smoke, smoke, smoke
that cigarette
1301
00:49:14,868 --> 00:49:16,662
'Scuse me.
I'm gonna go get a smoke.
1302
00:49:16,703 --> 00:49:19,915
Puff, puff, puff and if you
smoke yourself to death
1303
00:49:19,957 --> 00:49:21,792
Tell St. Peter
at the Golden Gate
1304
00:49:21,833 --> 00:49:23,877
That you hates
to make him wait
1305
00:49:23,919 --> 00:49:26,630
You've gotta have
another cigarette
1306
00:49:26,672 --> 00:49:28,674
[woman] Your dedication
to nicotine is admirable.
1307
00:49:28,715 --> 00:49:30,384
Let me get a pack a Camels.
1308
00:49:30,425 --> 00:49:32,678
I prefer carcinogens
to endorphins.
1309
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:34,221
Let me get a pack
of American Spirits too.
1310
00:49:34,262 --> 00:49:35,389
You smoked my whole
fuckin' pack.
1311
00:49:35,430 --> 00:49:37,307
Some Marlboros.
Some Winstons.
1312
00:49:37,349 --> 00:49:39,434
Throw some, uh, Dunhills
in there.
1313
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,313
-What are you doing?
-I need to wash my junk.
1314
00:49:43,355 --> 00:49:45,732
Smoke, smoke, smoke
that cigarette
1315
00:49:45,774 --> 00:49:47,651
Who's never smoked
a cigarette before?
1316
00:49:47,693 --> 00:49:48,986
-Me!
-Me!
1317
00:49:49,027 --> 00:49:50,821
Oh, you haven't?
Okay, well, the first one's
1318
00:49:50,862 --> 00:49:52,489
the hardest, but you guys
are gonna be great.
1319
00:49:52,531 --> 00:49:54,408
Come on,
follow your Aunty Tami.
1320
00:49:54,449 --> 00:49:57,327
You've gotta have
another cigarette
1321
00:50:05,627 --> 00:50:07,337
[Tami] You know the way
you smoke cigarettes,
1322
00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:08,588
it'll be a miracle
if you make it to 40.
1323
00:50:08,630 --> 00:50:10,007
-I'll quit.
-[Tami, huffs] Right.
1324
00:50:12,926 --> 00:50:14,511
[Veronica] You're only
supposed to wear
1325
00:50:14,553 --> 00:50:16,513
one of those nicotine
patches at a time.
1326
00:50:16,555 --> 00:50:18,473
Got one of these vape things
from Carl.
1327
00:50:18,515 --> 00:50:20,183
Trying to quit smokin'
for Fred.
1328
00:50:20,225 --> 00:50:21,977
Aren't those things worse
for you?
1329
00:50:23,270 --> 00:50:26,189
[hisses]
Fuck, that shit's strong.
1330
00:50:28,734 --> 00:50:30,819
She was oh, so far
from a chunk of ice
1331
00:50:30,861 --> 00:50:32,654
Our smoochin' party
was goin' real nice
1332
00:50:32,696 --> 00:50:35,032
So help me Hannah
I'd have been there yet
1333
00:50:36,742 --> 00:50:38,368
I give her a kiss
and a little squeeze
1334
00:50:38,410 --> 00:50:40,203
She said, "Tex,
excuse me, please
1335
00:50:40,245 --> 00:50:42,456
But I just gotta have
a fix, a cigarette"
1336
00:50:44,124 --> 00:50:48,128
Smoke, smoke, smoke
that cigarette
1337
00:50:48,170 --> 00:50:51,548
Puff, puff, puff, and if
you smoke yourself to death
1338
00:50:51,590 --> 00:50:53,300
Tell St. Peter
at the Golden Gate
1339
00:50:53,341 --> 00:50:55,552
That you hates
to make him wait
1340
00:50:55,594 --> 00:50:58,972
You've gotta have
another cigarette
1341
00:50:59,014 --> 00:51:00,891
[end notes]
90326
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