All language subtitles for Out.of.Mind.Out.of.Sight.2014.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG2_English

[♪♪♪]

CHARLES: This is not like
a psychiatric unit

at a general hospital where
you would take your mother.

SHARRON:
Listen to me.

JUSTINE:
Get out of the room, fuck you!

I'm going to hit you!

You're yelling.I'm angry!

Okay, she's yelling.

Hang on.
Justine and Richard.

Won't turn
his radio down.

Okay, come with me.But he won't
turn his -

Just come with me.[Growls]

That's notgoing to help you.Well I'm fucking mad
right now!

Can we leave this?

He's telling me he's
going to punch me -

Can we leave this?He's telling me to
leave the front room.

What do you
want me to do?

Justine?He won't turn it down.

He won't do anything.

You're not
listening right now.

You're yelling.

Yes I am yelling
'cause I'm very mad.

You're not using your
rational thinking.

I need you to calm down.

Walk with me so the guys
can deal with him.

Come with me.

CHARLES: The Brockville
Mental Health Centre

is strictly a forensic
psychiatry unit,

which means every client here

has some sort of
criminal charge.

Well then take
it away from him.

Listen, you need to
not yell right now.

You're yelling at me.Well take it away
from him then.

SHARRON: They've stirred up
a lot of emotion

with the male patients

and the particular
male believes

and is paranoid that the
girls are yelling at him,

problematic with him,
they're causing him problems.

So he was very agitated,
very angry.

RICHARD:
I love the radio.

JUSTINE:
It's loud, though.

SHARRON:
Justine - no.

RICHARD: It's none ofyour business, you.It's not going to
help by yelling, okay?

I've seen lots of
violence over the years.

Serious violence.

We've had murders
on this floor.

LaFRANCE: Whenever she had
asked me to speak to him I did.

And I said, "Richard,"
in French, I said to him,

"please turn down the radio.

They're trying to watch TV."

And he did.

And still it wasn't
good enough for her.

She just -
she was fixated on that

and she decided
well I'm going to,

I'm going to go
for it and she did.

But the thing was,
she wasn't expecting

the retaliation he
was ready to give her.

And I think he scared her.

He did.
She said he scared her.

But I told her,
and I've told her many times,

I said,

"You're not on
a unit where you

don't think you're
going to get hurt."

I said, "That's your first
mistake because on this unit

it could happen
very, very quickly."

My biggest concern is
that she removes herself

from the situation when
it escalates like that.

[♪♪♪]

DEBBIE:
The majority of people who

have a diagnosis
of schizophrenia,

they don't have
violent tendencies.

But all our patients at some
point displayed violence.

They're stable,
they're fine,

but the potential
for violence

is what got them here
in the first place,

not just because they
were schizophrenic,

because they were violent.

[♪♪♪]

DR. BRADFORD:
Michael's a very warm,

intelligent young man,

struggling with a
devastating illness

which is schizophrenia.

We have been able get him

quite well
but never into recovery.

Essentially what's been
going on with Michael

is that he has become

quite sensitive in
social situations.

It's not really paranoia
in the sense that

you think somebody's
going to harm you.

It goes back to
he has a feeling

that people know what he did.

MIKE:
As a new patient,

generally speaking,
they'll put you up.

They'll start you up
on the fourth floor.

It's like school.

B3 nor -
B4 south is grade 1,

B3 north is B2,
or is grade 2,

down here south is 3
and what I'm on is 4

and you want to
get out of here.

This is the most secure
unit of the four in FTU.

They're pretty caged in
for the time being.

They could come in
on a serious crime,

the staff wants to know if...

they don't want
anything else to happen,

anything else negative.

They're strangers
to each other too,

so there's a threat that
exists between copatients

just as there's a threat

between the staff and
the patients at times.

So it can be a hostile area.

NURSE:
Have you got a blanket?

CHARLES:
These are our most dangerous,

most unpredictable
fellows at this end.

DEBBIE: We'd like some more guys
up before we open that door.

LaFRANCE: I don't think he
even knows where he is at all.

No, no, I don't think he
knows what's even going on.

Most of them are new people
that we don't know that well

and they haven't been
stabilized on meds.

DEBBIE:
He's very unpredictable.

Very, very ill.

LaFRANCE:
He's just very sick.

Could be very frightening
if you weren't psychotic.

And if you happened
to come in,

and you're in for
an assessment,

and you aren't
horribly psychotic,

I imagine it would be

just a very frightening
visit to the circus.

[♪♪♪]

MIKE:
And then over here we have

the nursing station,
the care station.

There are a lot of
patients to take care of,

and we have lots of needs.

Things seem to be pretty
quiet right now so we're -

I don't know,
the patients,

everyone's behaving
themselves for the most part.

If someone causes trouble,

the first thing they'll do is
they'll close this door here,

thus barricading themselves
into the nursing station

if worst comes to worst.

JOHN KASTNER: Tell me
about this program group,

what do you take in it?

The one I just finished
was called...

Symptom Management.

Do they talk to you about
if your voices return?

How to handle that?

Oh yeah, for sure,
for sure.

What do they teach
you about that?

They ask you,
does it sound like

there's a person
talking to you

or does it sound like
it's in your head?

And you answer, no,

I think it's the person
talking to me, or whatever.

They ask you what they say,
what the voices say.

You tell them they say,

"I hate you,"
or "I love you,"

or whatever they say,
you know?

SUSAN JANSMAN:
Can you tell the difference when

the voices are real
and when they're not real?

I know my sister is here.

I can tell.

I know my sister's temper.

You know your
sister's here?

And it scares me because

I know she thinks
I'm a loser.

Okay, but is your sister here?

No.

She's not?

I don't know.
I'm not sure.

Okay, do you see her
anywhere around?

No, but I hear her voice.

I recognize her.

So can you tell that
those voices aren't real?

No.You can't?

That's when you need
to come to staff.

Okay.Okay?

Because if your
sister's not around,

any voices that
you hear are voices

that you're hearing
in your head.

I'm just curious -

This isn't Germany,
this is Brockville, eh?

Yes, it's Brockville,
Ontario, Canada.

People keep telling
me it's Germany

and I never studied and...

What people?

My sister.

But your sister's not here.

It feels like she's here.

I know my sister's temper,
my sister...

my sister would get really,
really angry at me.

It's all part of the voices
that tell you things?

Yeah.

KASTNER:
Those are not what they

call command hallucinations.

Command hallucinations
are something different?

Yes.What are they?

Command hallucinations,
from what I gather,

are things that say...

"Jump off this bridge.
It's right there,

look, look,
there's the railing.

Jump off this bridge."

There's a bridge there

and it's quite elevated
over the highway.

And on the highway there's
huge vehicles passing, right?

So you're walking
across the bridge

and the voice will say,
"Now's a good time..."

So that's what a command
hallucination is, I think.

Aside from harming yourself,

as you understand it,

do command hallucinations

ever tell you to
hurt somebody else?

I'm certain they do.

DR. GRAY:
Mr. Beninato was diagnosed

with schizophrenia in 1996

and this followed a series
of violent outbursts

against his family and
reports of hearing voices.

This leads up to
the 2003 incident.

On that particular
day he came home,

his father was
watching television

and he asked his
mother for a cigarette.

She said she didn't have one.

He escalated and
became very, very angry

and grabbed her by the hair
and was shaking her around.

As a result of that
she became unconscious.

He called an
ambulance and said

that he had a temper tantrum,
as he put it.

And she was brought
to the hospital.

She was in the
intensive care unit

because she was in
a coma for weeks.

And suffered irreversible

neurological damage,
walks with a cane.

Sometimes patients feel

that the more honest they
are about symptoms,

the less privileges
they'll get,

because then people will
think they're sicker

and they're more of a risk.

So in Mr. Beninato's
case in particular,

he sometimes downplays that

because to say that he
experiences them all the time

and especially if he says,

"Well, they tell me
to do bad things,"

probably he wouldn't
get out of the hospital

as quick as he would like.

SAL:
I don't hear voices.

I don't even know why
I'm on medication.

But they tell me
I got schizophrenia,

I'm mentally ill,
I'm sick.

So I just listen
to them, you know?

KASTNER:
And have you ever heard voices?

Um, no.

Not really, no.

I don't really hear voices.

Sometimes I think they're
my thoughts and stuff.

Sometimes I do hear voices,
though, yeah.

I don't really, like,
hear them too much.

I think, like the voices are

like voices saying,
"Oh, who cares?

Buy crack cocaine,
buy marijuana,

drink beer,
liquor, whatever."

And then my thoughts say,

"Hey, you don't
want to do that."

And even the voices that say,

"Buy crack cocaine."
You know what they say?

They say,
"We're sorry we bother you

and we bothered you
in the past."

And then they start
to say things like...

Well, the thoughts say
things like, "Don't," like,

"Listen, don't go
buying the drugs."

And even the voices say,

"We don't want to pressure
you into doing that either."

You know, sometimes,

I'm not saying right now,
but in the past,

the staff heard you
yelling in your room

and there's no-one else there.

Yeah, yeah.

So how would you explain that?

Well, it's sort of like
I hear voices bugging me,

like putting me down.

So you yell back at them?

Is that what you're doing?

It's like I'm not trying to
put the voices down, you know?

Instead of saying,
"Hey, like leave me alone,"

I tell them,

"Why don't you
get with the program?

You're falling behind."
You know?"

PA: Lunch is now on the ward
for the south side.

Lunch is now on the ward.

[♪♪♪]

Hey.Hey, Mike.

Hey, Peter.How are you?

Not too bad, you?Good to see you.

You look good.You too, thanks.

John.

Looks like you
got some sun.

More than me.Maybe.

Shall we go?

NANCY: The name of this person
is Michael Roland Stewart.

His date of birth is
December 14, 1978.

His date of admission
was March 22, 2005.

His index offence is
second degree murder.

Legal status is

not criminally responsible -
NCR.

[♪♪♪]

PETER: Mike belonged to
what would normally

be considered
the popular crowd.

He was extremely self-assured,

extremely confident,

and top marks in the class.

Lots of friends,
girls and guys.

JOHN: He was probably among
the funnier people in the room.

But he was very -

just so sharp,
such a good way with words.

Supremely confident.

And this was certainly
into the time

where Mike had become sick.

Spring of 1997.

There seemed to be a
difference in him right away

and I thought that he kind
of became quite recluse.

He thought
mom had awoken him

so she could read his mind

a few hours
before he went to school.

KASTNER: Do you see
a big change in him today?

He's not the same
guy at all.

NANCY:
From a nursing perspective,

Mike is making slow,
steady improvement

but some
negative symptoms remain.

His overall mood
is good but quiet.

He spends a lot of his
leisure time in the TV lounge

but does not socialize
much with copatients.

He usually maintains a quiet
demeanour about the ward.

Yeah, I just got four.

NURSE:
Okay, see you later.

Okay, guys,
come on aboard.

Okay, here's the deal.

I think my knee can take it,
I'm going to bowl with you.

What do you think, Mike?
Could you help me?

I don't know if I
can help you but you'll do fine.

Are you going to beat
your best score today?

That's the g -
110.110?

MIKE WHELAN:
He's always struggled

with the social aspect
of the hospital.

So he seems to do
better with staff.

To hang around
with his peers

I don't think he's ever
been very good at that.

[♪♪♪]

DR. BRADFORD:
He has become quite sensitive

in social situations.

He, for example,
has turned down the opportunity

to go into the community
on his own,

even though he's probably
well enough to do that.

By being sensitive
to people around him,

that they may know what he did
ten years or so ago.

So that type of
hypersensitivity,

hypervigilance is
what's been bothering him.

NANCY:
The next person we're going to

conference today is Carole.

CAROLE:
And this is a string.

NANCY:
Carole is a 39-year-old female.

CAROLE: This is what I
call my imaginary friend.

NANCY: Carole was found NCR
on account of mental disorder

on two charges of
assaulting a police officer

and four charges of assault
on September 20, 2010.

CAROLE:
Cat.

NANCY: Carole has been
estranged from her family.

There are no next of kin
noted in her clinical chart.

She became a ward of the
Children's Aid Society

at the age of 11 years.

When you workyou've got to get up early,

get showered.

You have to lookappropriate for your job,

get dressed in your best.

DR. JAMES: From what
I understand from her past,

she would become very upset,
she'd run into traffic.

She was admitted
to the hospital.

She was discharged
back to her apartment.

An acting worker
came to visit.

She didn't want the
acting worker to leave.

And she threatened to
commit suicide,

is my understanding.

And as the acting
worker was leaving,

she jumped off the balcony.

And that's how she got a lot
of the orthopedic injuries

that you see when she walks.

CAROLE: The stickers
are for good behaviour.

And it tells you that if you

get 14 stickers in a row
without missing one,

you get to order out,

or you could
save your money

for whatever you wish to buy.

And if you don't -

I missed one sticker here,
so I don't get one.

But here I had a
perfect month -

and over here
I had a perfect month.

But that's about it
out of all of them.

This is April,
that's May...

KASTNER:
So when you say bad behaviour,

what do you mean by that?

Yelling at staff,
or refusing to take my pills,

or refusing to go to
my room when I'm upset,

or getting into a
fight with people,

getting into an argument,

I don't get a sticker.

And are you a bad girl often?

Yeah.

It's hard for me to actually

get a whole
month of stickers.

Bad behaviour gets
me in trouble.

I find it hard to be good.

You find it
hard to be good?Yeah.

And how are you doing
so far this month?

Uh, well I'm off
to a rocky start.

KASTNER:
Can you give me a sense of

how many of the patients here

are capable of
serious violence?

Absolutely all of them.

CHARLES:
Every one.Every single one.

Every single
one of them.

KASTNER:
Carole Seguin?

Oh yes.Oh, absolutely!

Carole is one of those people
that there is no question -

Once she started
to be a problem,

you had to get out
the five point restraints,

because if she couldn't
get at you to hurt you,

she would start smashing
her skull on the wall.

DEBBIE: And you know within
a few minutes of locking her,

she's going to start whacking
her head off the toilet

or usually the cement walls.

You couldn't listen to that.
It was just awful.

Awful females.
They're the worst.

I'm sorry, they are.

CHARLES:
I didn't say that.Of course you didn't!

I jumped on it.

[Laughs]

CHARLES:
Women make the worst patients.

Oh absolutely.
I agree completely.

There is no explaining
how or why,

it's just that way.

[Justine laughing]

59 patients here
at the Forensic Treatment Unit

and about five female patients
is quite a difference.

The men tend to cause more
violent crimes on the outside,

in the outside world.

And the women tend

to cause more violence
on the inside.

I mean, I'm not used to
wrestling with people.

I never thought in my lifetime
that I would be in this field

where I'm wrestling with
some female on the floor

because she's just
taken a swing at me,

or tried to kick
me in the stomach,

or did kick me,

and now we're into a whole
different ball of wax.

I've wrestled with
probably more women here

than I ever will with men.

I do believe that some of it

can be attributed to
their illness.

They're extremely vulnerable.

I know Angela, but I don't know
if it's fixed. Eh?

Yeah.

Historically women coming in

have some sort
of mood disorder.

So they're bipolar or
they're schizoaffective,

which is all related
to mood fluctuations.

So yeah,
something that simple

causes chaos on the unit.

[Justine laughing]

Just another day
in the neighbourhood.

How are you doing?Not bad.

Hey Michael.

Looking good.

How are you doing?

Doing okay.

Yeah.

Do you want to dip in?

Go for it.

When's the last time you
had mussels, Michael?

The last time I had mussels?

Jeez, I don't...

I don't remember.

Really?

Two RCMP pulled up
and asked us,

"Is one of you
Rebecca Stewart?"

I thought that Michael
had killed himself,

because again,
that was always the concern.

And he just said
to call your dad.

Dad picked up
and said, "Hello."

I said, "Hello.
What's going on?"

He said, "Something
very bad has happened."

And I said,
"Michael's killed himself?"

And he said, "No,
Michael has killed your mother."

And then I was
caught off guard

and I said, "No."
And he said, "Yes."

And I think I said no again.
And I was worked up,

so I asked if I could call
him back in a few minutes,

get off the phone
and call him back.

He said I could do so,
and then we hung up,

and then I just
started smashing

the phone receiver
into the phone.

And kind of realized that
I was in a public spot.

So I went outside and
just went for a little walk.

And that was it.

It's always good.

Either way I'm happy.

NANCY: He apparently arrived
at his parents' home

in the early afternoon
and waited in the house

until his mother,
the victim,

arrived home
between 3:30 and 3:45 PM.

He was reported to have
confronted his mother

and then an altercation
developed between the two.

She eventually died

from severe blunt trauma
to the head.

[♪♪♪]

She was a nurse who

loved her profession,

and community member
who loved her community,

and a mother who
loved her family.

[♪♪♪]

JUNE:
Good morning.

Here we are
on Tommy Donohue's farm

up in Douglas, Ontario,
as you can see.

It's Friday morning,

September the 7th,
the year 2001.

And the sun has just come up,

and you can see the mist
through the rail fencing,

and of course the cattle.

So what a perfect day.

[♪♪♪]

Thank you for doing it.

[♪♪♪]

JOHN: You both look pretty
pleased in that picture.

REBECCA:
It's a cute photo.

DAVID:
That's June and me.

We're going out
somewheres because we're -

June's - we're dressed for
an evening out.

JOHN:
Pretty loud outfit.

DAVID:
On Mom's part.

REBECCA:
Which was typical.

JOHN:
Fairly standard.

REBECCA: She was a fashionista
in her own right, I think.

She liked to dress up.

PETER: I don't think
I've ever seen that picture.

REBECCA:
I've never seen it either.

It's beautiful.

It's a photograph of Mom

I've not seen before
and it's nice.

It's a great picture.

Looks pretty pensive.

KASTNER: What had Mike's
relationship with her

been like before?

PETER:
She loved him very much

and he loved her
very much, too,

and I think that
where he needed

very occasional
emotional support,

he got it in spades from her.

A mother who for years
after Michael became sick

would cry herself to sleep
out of concern for him,

and he knew that when

he was well enough
to know that.

What kind of thoughts
are you having right now?

That I want to kill myself,
that I want to hang myself.

Okay.
Carole?

You know us?Yeah, I know you.

And we know you.Yeah, I know.

And we know that you're
a good person, right?

Right.Okay.

And we're here to
take care of you.

Right.

And we're here
to keep you safe.

I know that but
I don't feel loved.

Well, we're going to
keep you safe, okay?

What we're
going to do -Yeah?

What I want to do is

I'd like to help you
with those thoughts

'cause you're having really
bad thoughts right now.

And those thoughts right
now are telling you

that you're a
bad person,

that you've
done things, okay?Right.

Which you haven't, right?

They're talking
about me on the TV.

Those are the -

but that's your delusional
thinking, right?

Right.

Those are those thoughts
that you have in your mind

that you know aren't real

but that are so
overwhelming to you

that you can't deal with them.

They're very,
very frustrating

and anxiety-provoking
for you, right?

Right.

I feel that people are talking
behind my back and all that.

Yeah.

And it's over...

That they
hate me.Yeah.

But people don't
hate you here.

You know we've
treated you well

and that you've
done well and that -

I'm trying my best,

but it's been like a month
since I've had any sleep.

Carole?

Carole?

You're just having
a bad day, right?

Everybody's...

Listen, everybody's allowed
to have a bad day, it's okay.

I know but only one.

It's okay.

[♪♪♪]

MIKE:
Stewart is my last name.

Mike is my first name.

And my room is -
I'll let you see my room here.

It's not in great order
but it's in order.

Okay, you need to
do a walkabout?

I need to do
a walkabout.Okay, let's go.

Alrighty.

[♪♪♪]

I have this thing here -

is my privacy curtain.

It's mainly to be
used at night time

because they can walk by.

"Oh, he's in his bed,
that's great." You know?

But any time any passing
person can take a peek in,

so you just have to
understand that the privacy,

it's pretty good but,

you know,
be decent.

[♪♪♪]

CHARLES: What we're supposed to
do now is mark down on here

what each individual
was doing,

where they were,

and what they were doing
at that specific time.

DR. GRAY:
My impression is that the family

still is somewhat fearful
about him

because of the past.

And he has a history of
violence against his parents,

so it's not just the parents -

There are siblings, too,

and I really don't think
they'd want him,

at any point,
living back in their house.

A lot of people want
to be with their family

and they don't want to hear
that they don't want you back,

or they're fearful of you.

SAL: On the street
I have friends, you know?

Friend, you know what I mean?

Like, I just miss that.

Nobody, like no -
not anybody talks to me,

the staff doesn't talk to me,
the patients don't talk to me.

Nobody talks to me, you know?

I wonder, why aren't these
people talking to me?

And I don't know,

I just don't know
what to do, you know?

I go out and talk to them,
you know?

You want to have a coffee?

You want this and that,

go for a coffee
in the community,

or do you want to go for
a smoke or something?

I'm not going out.

SAL: Before, I would
have this friend here,

and we would always talk
and go for a smoke,

or I lent him money
and we'd walk around

and go to the
benches and smoke.

And lately he hasn't been
coming out and talking to me.

Greg!
Where are you going, Greg?

So you going to talk,
stand out here and talk,

or are you going
to go in there?

Fuck.

I can't go in there, man.

He would always tell me,
ever since I got here,

"You're my best friend,
you're my best friend."

And now I don't know
what to do, you know?

I worry - He never just
comes and sits down,

has a smoke and
talk to me no more.

But other people I talk to,

like I talk to them
for a little bit,

then all of a sudden they
start staying alone, right?

I want to get a necklace too.

I don't got a necklace.

I got a watch.

SAL:
What am I supposed to do?

I don't know.

GREG:
Later man.

SAL: I was a little bit
depressed at first,

but when I started
going to the gym.

I felt better because,
you know,

it made me feel
better about myself.

So I guess that
was a big help,

or it is a big help,
still going now, so...

♪ Oh, give me a home

♪ where the deer and
the antelope roam. ♪

♪ Where seldom is heard
a discouraging word ♪

♪ and skies are not
cloudy all day. ♪

♪ Oh give me a home where

♪ the deer and the
antelope play. ♪

♪ Where seldom is heard
a discouraging word ♪

♪ and the skies are
all cloudy all day. ♪

I'm listening to the radio.

Because it's loud,
I can't concentrate on the TV.

I can't concentrate on the
TV when that is playing.

It's hard for me.

SHARRON: Did Xavier come down
and talk about this earlier?

Yes, and he turns it back
up when the staff leaves.

That's not fair.

SHARRON: If we don't deal
with the situation

the way that she
feels we should,

it gets ramped up
to the next degree.

I know, but I'm not -

Am I doing
something wrong?SHARRON: No.

Get those two girls
the fuck out of here.

I mean, put them downstairs
and get 'em out of there.

They're not my type.

That's what he said
this morning too.

So just stay away
from them for now

and then we'll see how -

Tell them not to come near me.

It made me cry.

I'm going mad.

Fuck, you know?

Going fuckin' mad.

Fuckin' mad.

What was going on?

Dr.Gray and Sharry came
to talk to us about Al

because he's upset that
there's females on the unit.

Those girls are sick.

Somebody else's
fuckin' problem.

I don't want this
fuckin' problem.

I got my own fuckin' problems.

Al, if I talk to them

and keep talking to them
to stay away from you,

can you guarantee me you're
not going to hit one of them?

I didn't hit them.I know you didn't.

You didn't -
you did really well.

But I don't want to
see you hit one of them.

SHARRON: She's very
attention seeking, very -

If she doesn't get the
attention she wants,

she can be very self-abusive.

Hey Nancy?

Yeah?

These have been in for a week.

Do you think you
can take 'em out?

Which one's that one?

These ones.

They've been in
for eight days.

They're only supposed
to be in for a week.

Sometimes I do things
to get an adrenaline rush...

like cut myself.

NANCY: Well, frankly
we're quite concerned about her

and her recent
self-harm attempts.

She would come to us

and say she really
doesn't feel well.

We'd ask her in what way
you don't feel well?

She feels like
cutting herself.

She's told us
she craves this -

it's like an addiction and
she just has to satisfy this.

And she'll keep
wanting to do it

until she actually does it.

And then she's -

We've had four different
cutting episodes,

quite deep gashes on her arm.

KASTNER:
Boy, you sure hurt yourself, eh?

I didn't do it as
deep this time.

That one was a bad one.

KASTNER:
Wow.

Lots of stitches there.

So deep, in fact,

that it's way below
the skin layer

and below the fat layer,

and down to the muscle layer.

KASTNER: And is that
serious-serious?

Is that a serious attempt or -
I mean, some people I know -

Just hurt myself.

And why do you
think you do that?

Mm...

Feels good sometimes.

I have borderline personality
disorder and hypochondriac.

I don't know what the
proper term is for it.

KASTNER: What is borderline
personality disorder exactly?

It's behavioural difficulties.

They take a lot of risks
and stuff like that and...

DR. JAMES:
Some people say that every

branch of medicine
has its fatal disease.

And for psychiatry,
some people figure

that borderline personality
is the fatal disease.

KASTNER:
What does that mean?Untreatable.

I lit fire downstairs.

Um...

'cause I was mad at a staff
so that was pretty impulsive.

Lit fire to my pillow.

PA: Please come to
the med room for your meds.

Meds at the medicine room.

CAROL:
Step right up, sir.

NURSE: There's Catherine.
Can I do you, Catherine?

MIKE:
Generally there will be -

four times a day -
they will dispense medication.

One of the things
I take is Clozapine,

and it's an anti-psychotic.

If I stop taking it,

there's a very good chance

that some of
the big problems

that I used to have
coping with -

my illness could
very well return.

And they tell me that
each relapse you suffer

does additional damage...

to your brain.

The thing about
medications are

we have a legal right
to refuse.

If you decide
that the medication

isn't working for you

or
that it's harming you, perhaps,

you are legally
entitled to do that.

Also there are people
that will take the pills

and just keep them
under their tongue.

They swallow the water,

and then they'll turn and
they'll spit the pills away.

If patients are
refusing medication,

and they start to decline in

their functioning and
in their wellness,

then some of the older methods

of coping with mental
patients comes into play.

♪ Old McDonald had a farm,
E, I, E, I, O. ♪

♪ And on that farm he had a pig,
E, I, E, I, O. ♪

♪ With an oink oink here
and an oink oink there, ♪

♪ here an oink,
everywhere an oink oink, ♪

♪ Old McDonald had a farm,
E, I, E, I, O. ♪

EARLE: I remember when
she came here in 2005,

she was like a wild animal.

And she was in
five point restraints

because she was so wild
and out of control.

And in two years
she was stabilized

and she was the best that
we could possibly do with her.

Her risk was low enough

to get her back out
in the community.

And we had high hopes for her.

I really missed you.
What happened to you?

Oh, how are you?

EARLE: I'll tell you,
I've seen Carole at her best.

And if she's encouraged,
it's very encouraging

for me and the other
staff to see how she does.

I'm good.

Are you okay?I'm good.

Hey, Carole.

EARLE:
She can be kind.

She can come up and
give you compliments.

Yeah, that was fun.

EARLE:
But on the flip side of that,

ten minutes later
she'll come up

and call you a cocksucker,

and say she hopes
that your kids die

and she hopes that you crash
your car on the way home.

I remember one morning
she came up to me -

it was about
5:00 in the morning -

and she called me a
cocksucker and hated me,

and she was kicking
out the door

and punching at the door.

And as she walked
away she said,

"You raped me,
you raped me!

You came into my room
at night and raped me!"

So I reported that,
documented it.

And I thought that it might
not go any further than that.

But it did.

She talked to Dr. James,

and it was
investigated further.

What I heard is

you went running
down the hallways yelling,

"Rape, rape!
He raped me!"

And -I said that?

That's what I heard.

EARLE:
It has to be investigated

because these people
are vulnerable

and things like that
sometimes do happen,

and they've happened
in the past.

I didn't say that though.

DR. JAMES: Okay, well,
that's what I had heard.

And with the way
things are in society,

it can really put staff,
especially male staff,

in a really
difficult position.

No, I never said that.

I think he heard wrong.

Maybe I said
something different,

but I didn't say that.

Okay. I'll look back
in the chart as well,

but that's what I -

Or he could have heard
somebody else's voice

that sounded like me,
I don't know.

I never said he raped me.

Okay.

Never, I swear to God.

Honest to God,
I'll shake your hand on it.

Okay...

Do you ever come down here
aside from visits, Mike?

Um, not really.

NANCY: Following this
attack on the mother,

Mr. Stewart then called
911 at about 4:05 PM.

[♪♪♪]

He was found in the house
when the police arrived.

He was then arrested,
escorted out of the house,

and transported to the
Renfrew OPP office.

He remains reluctant
to discuss this in detail

as he reports that he
finds the whole incident

difficult to discuss
at this time.

KASTNER: Do you ever talk
with family about what happened?

We talk about other things.

It's the hypersensitivity
to social situations.

So he stays with staff.

He's worried about going
into the community

because he thinks
people know

who he is
and what happened.

SUSAN JANSMAN:
How do we get him past that?

How do we get him -

Who do we have in
our team that can get him...

I don't think he wants
to talk about it.

I mean...

I don't want to
stir up something

that's not going to...

I mean,
I think for the moment -

Let's leave it and
see where he goes with it.

Okay, I'm ready
to make a confession.

And my confession
is that I, ah...

I kind of lied
when I said that Mark -

that I didn't say that
Mark raped me,

because I did say
that Mark raped me.

But I didn't remember
having said that.

INTERVIEWER:
Did Mr. Earle ever touch you

inappropriately or rape you?

No. It was all in my mind.
It was voices.

NANCY: I do believe that
the female patients here

do cause more turmoil.

They can be quite aggressive
in their acting out.

Banging on walls,

actually putting holes
in walls, too.

It's incredible to imagine

that a female patient
could do that,

but it really does happen.

KASTNER:
Who did that?That would be Carole.

I used the palm of my...

the ball of my hand tosmuck right into the wall.

And I went like that

with force until I

punched a holeabout that deep.

And then I turned to the wall

and people were alittle bit scared of me.

This is hole number one.

Hole number two.

And hole number threeand hole number four.

KASTNER:And did you injure yourself?

No.

Your hand didn't hurtafter punching four holes?

It stung a bitbut I didn't hurt myself.

I didn't cut myselfor anything.

NANCY: But Carole,
she's outstanding

for putting holes
through walls.

We don't quite know how she
had the strength to do it,

but somehow she did.

KASTNER: Have you everseriously injured anybody?

Not seriously, no.

What's the worst thatyou've done in a fight?

Give them a black eye.

That's the worst
physical injury

you've inflicted on anybody?

Yes. Absolutely.

Oh, they're cans?

I ordered bottles.

I ordered bottles.

I ordered bottles.

NANCY: She was the most
challenging patient by far,

considered by all the staff.

[Justine giggling]

Me and Ashley Smith liked

to tie strings
around our neck.

Mostly to probably catch
the attention of staff.

NANCY:
We were also really concerned

about a recent incident

where she'd
torn up a facecloth

and tied it together
to make herself a ligature.

Tied it tightly
around her neck,

and tried to strangle herself.

She was -

When staff found her on the
floor in the shower room,

she was blue and
not responding

to our verbal commands.

So we called a code blue,

as we call it here
in the hospital,

and staff ran

and we brought a
noose-cutter to that area,

and they used it to cut
the ligature off her neck.

After that was removed,

the colour started
to return to her face

and she started to respond.

We thought it was
a close call

and we're always
watching for the next time.

It was mostly because
when you tie

a string around your neck
you get really dizzy,

and the feeling of

being passed out feels good.

It's like almost
like a high.

And that's what
I was looking for -

that feeling that you get
when you almost die.

I like that feeling.

We did save her life.

We did save her life.

Yeah.

And we know that
it's all a matter of time

with these strangulation
attempts and so on.

Sometimes it's just
in a matter of time

if we save them or not.

[♪♪♪]

KASTNER:You're the fastest smoker

I've ever seen in my life.

I saw one in Montreala lot faster than me.

John, one of my friends, eh?

Used to smoke like that!

At least you don't waste
a cigarette that way, eh?

KASTNER: How did it start
with you and Sal?

CAROLE:
I was attracted to him at first.

That he
was a good-looking, handsome guy

and that he was a gentleman.

I didn't know him very well
but he would go like that,

put my hair over
my ear like that.

He'd go like that,
sort of mess up my hair.

And then he asked me if
I wanted to go out with him.

KASTNER:
What about girls?

You had a relationship
with a young lady here?

I have had a
relationship with her.

KASTNER:
That's Carole.

SAL:
Carole...

KASTNER: It's an open secret
that there is sexual activity

between some of the patients.

The patients are not allowed
in each other's rooms?

No.Where does this
activity happen?

[Laughs]

We both had
the same reaction!

Everywhere else.

Everywhere and anywhere
and unbeknownst to us.

We try not to catch them.

We can't allow it
on the ward.

ANGELA:
When's your birthday?

SAL:
November.

November?Yeah.

Shaved your head.Yeah, you like it?

Yeah, it looks good.

DR. BRADFORD:
We don't encourage it,

but we realize it's
going to happen.

I mean,
once people have access

to the community and
have freedom -

or even freedom
to go on the grounds

indirectly supervised,
you know,

there's lots of opportunities

for some kind of
sexual engagement.

Well, are they behind
a hedge or something?

DEBBIE:
Or in the middle of the lawn.

Behind a hedge is
considered discrete here.

Oh, yeah.

We've had patients
do it on the ward

that we didn't know
about till the bed broke.

[Laughs]

Honest to God,
it's like, Bang! "Uh-oh."

♪ Sun's shining today.

My baby is looking at me.

♪ And I'm a-lookin'
at him right now, ♪

♪ making him smile,
making him laugh and giggle. ♪

♪ Just like a jigsaw puzzle.

♪ This song I made up,
so don't get me wrong, ♪

♪ I know my own song,
if you know what I mean. ♪

♪ You're the one for me,
oh yeah, for sure. ♪

♪ He knows who
I'm talking about. ♪

[Giggles]

Yeah, music is
a wonderful thing.

You know,
it's a form of expression.

Anyways, I'm going in,
it's too cold.

DR. BRADFORD: It's not
unusual in schizophrenia

for people to
have ambivalence.

So what happens,

people have a certain
level of comfort.

They're willing
to do something,

and then they
become ambivalent

and they withdraw again.

WHALEN:
We were talking, Mike, about,

you know, not right now,

but looking down the road
maybe in a few months or that,

possible
community placement options.

Now, we're lucky,
with your disposition,

that we have all options open.

You know, anywhere
from group home

to independent living
to co-op.

Is that something
you'd be ready for

in the next couple of months,
do you think?

Well I don't...

I'd...

I'd just like to...

Well, it's hard to say.

I, uh, I...

WHALEN:
How about - You know what -

In a couple of weeks we go
out and look at the co-ops?

A couple of weeks?

Yeah.

Just look, not to move in,
nothing like that.

Or if you want,
we could do it next month.

I'll get a car...

I don't know why
we're going so quick.

There was another girl
I wanted to be my girlfriend -

Justine.
Do you know who Justine is?

She wanted to be
my girlfriend too.

KASTNER:
You dated Sal for awhile.

Me?

We didn't really date,
we just kind of -

It was just kind of a fling.

KASTNER:
Did Carole find out about it?

JUSTINE:
I don't think so, no.

I didn't get it at 11,
I'm telling you.

I didn't get it at 11.

SAL:
I don't want a girlfriend.

It's just girls ask me if I
want them to be my girlfriends.

I say okay, but I didn't
do anything, you know?

Yeah, I don't like her.

Do you?

I don't know,
I don't really care about her.

But I like her
a little bit, yeah.

I used to buy coffees off her,
dollar a coffee.

She'd give me cream,
sugar and coffee.

Remember Judy punched
Justine in the head?

Judy punched me
in the head three times

and then got put upstairs.

I did call the police on her
when she punched me.

And they said
she's here for life.

There's nothing
really we can do.

[Judy laughing]

It's like her, you know.

She's a rat-fink.

She called the cops.

You're good, you know that.

I like you.

Thanks.

And you're one of the best
boyfriends I've ever had.

That's cool, thanks.

Go for a smoke?Wanna go for a smoke?

It was Carole who was jealous
because I was saying hi to Sal.

And she's like, "You know
that's my boyfriend, right?

And you need to keep
your hands and your mouth

and your face away from him
or I'll punch you."

"Oh, okay.
Didn't know you owned him."

Give me a kiss?

Thank you.

Almost fell on my ass.

And if I understand,

you were worried
about going home.

You felt sort of sensitive
so you made a choice

not to go home this Christmas,
is that right?

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Okay.

The visit, I just -
it would...

It would be troublesome
and somewhat, uh...

Like I just...

Right.

DAVID:
I think he suffers every day

from the loss of his life.

The life that he
could have had.

He doesn't speak of it much,

but he has spoken of it
from time to time.

So I've made strides,

but I want to make it
so I can hold down -

Start with, hold down
some kind of a job

and then see if I can

try to salvage something here
of my life.

Because I'm a little old

for college
or university.

KASTNER:
How old are you?

I'm 33 years old.

So that leaves me
with another option, right?

I can get work.

Now, I think for someone

with my limited
qualifications,

it might have to be

in something like
retail to start.

DAVID:
I know that it's there with him.

He would like to have a life.

Carole, you've been
here quite awhile.Yeah.

And you get along well

with the females that are
on the unit, all the women?

Well, sometimes I get jealous,

because there's one
person we all know

who tried to steal
my boyfriend.

That was a no-no.

I was ready to push
her down the stairs.

Oh dear.

Okay.

[Both laugh]

That's quite extreme,
isn't it?Yeah.

CAROLE: And that person said,
"What's your problem?"

And I went like that
and I almost punched her,

and she got up and
tried to punch me.

She flipped a table

and got me
right in the mid-section.

Oh, okay.

And that's why that
table is kind of wobbly.

You know which one I mean.

Yeah.

Is it harder for a woman here?

Yes, it's much harder
for a woman.

Why is that?

Because there's so many
guys, our hormones are racing.

Whenever I'm close to my
due date for my injection,

my hormones have already
gotten the get-go.

Yeah, yeah.

So in general you got along
well with all the females?

Except for one, yeah.Yeah?

DR. BRADFORD:
One day he just said,

"I'm ready and I want to go
out into the community."

And that then gave us
the reason to go ahead.

MIKE: I have recently
got the privilege

where I can go into the
community unescorted,

but I have to fill
out an itinerary.

There you are.Okay, thank you.

Detailing where I'm going,

what streets I'm taking,

and the different times I'll be
at the different landmarks.

It's supposed to be almost
down to the minute.

There you go, bud.Thanks, Bob.

We'll see you
in a bit.Yeah.

DAVID: Doesn't have to
have any supervision,

doesn't have to
report to anyone,

doesn't have to
maintain his medication,

doesn't have to...

Free as you or I.

KASTNER:
And what do you think of that?

Well, I'm speaking
of Michael now

when I say that
I don't think he should ever

have an absolute discharge.

I think he should have
lots and lots of liberty,

but almost all sufferers
go off their medication.

He gets ill quite quickly.

So in his case,
at least,

I don't think that
an absolute discharge

should ever be
available to him.

DEBBIE:
The female patients here,

all of them just want to be
an ordinary woman.

They still want
to get married,

and have children,
and have a house,

and they have the same
dreams and aspirations.

And for some reason

they're all of a
sudden put into

this position where
everything stops.

Their whole life and
their dreams change.

JUSTINE:
I have two girls.

One's nine and one's seven -

Jasmine and Angelique.

I had them when I was younger

and I was in an
abusive relationship,

so they took my kids from me.

KASTNER:
And you had a third child?

Yes, but he died
of Zellweger's -

but that's a different father.

I had a cross that had
Alex's ashes in it.

And it was a necklace,

and it was always
kept close to my heart

so that he would
always be with me.

I would show it to you,

but I got into
a fight the other day

and she just ripped
it off my neck

and said, "There, bitch,
now you can suffer."

It's my favourite bear.

His name is Sam.

I named him that.

So I always wanted a boy

and my boydied at birth.

So I thought they gaveme a large teddy bear

and maybe he wouldtake the pain away.

So he's been -

even though he's not real,he still helps me.

I still snuggle him,hug him and kiss him

like he was an actual boy.

It's like thePinocchio story -

the boy becomes real.

The wooden doll becomesa real little boy

because he learnsto stop lying.

And the boy thathad Pinocchio...

It was like a doll friend.

Always believedthat he was real.

And he did becomereal in the end.

I know he'll never become realbut he's still my baby.

[♪♪♪]

People suffering
from schizophrenia

and major depression
with psychosis

kill family members.

Once they recover,

they then realize that they've

done this terrible,
terrible thing.

He still hasn't
forgiven himself.

I mean,
I see him every week or two,

I struggle with...

He knows intellectually

that he was mentally
ill at the time.

He has never,
ever forgiven himself.

PETER: It compounds his sorrow
when he knows that

we've lost our mom
at his hands as well.

One could only
imagine the horror

in those moments

when he allows himself
to recall that day.

And I don't know
what would be worse -

whether the days when
he's perfectly lucid

are more painful
for him to endure,

or the days when
he's not well.

But I can only imagine

that it's a living hell

every single day,

and some days are
worse than others.

KASTNER: Let me just ask you
before we continue.

Are you okay?

Um, I think I'm fine, yeah.

Okay. you'll say so.

If you want to stop it,
it's okay.

It's cool, man.Okay.

Okay?Okay.

This is amazing.

I didn't expect
you to go this far,

so if it's troubling to you,
if it's upsetting to you,

you can say that's enough
for today type of thing.

We can proceed.Okay, alright.

Thank you.

It was foggy
in the beginning.

Um, I uh...

I had trouble
accepting my...

diagnosis.

And uh...

I...

there was a time...

when I had...

things were all well with
basically anyone that I knew.

I didn't really have enemies.

And then...

I didn't have any enemies.

So why would I...

do something like this

to someone that...

I -
it's...

It's...

Like right after,

like we're talking days,

I was calling them and
asking for forgiveness.

Days.

Like, it would be
weird because I would,

if I was feeling
particularly bad,

I would call my dad
or my sister,

something like that,

and I would just say,
"I'm feeling horrible."

There'd be no...

sense to the conversation.

It would be just me saying,
"I'm sorry," you know?

Forgiveness and trust

are such
slow things to earn

that it's...

I wanted to make sure...

I just wanted to call them

and make sure
that they would...

Well, I was fearful that

I would be abandoned,
you know? So...

KASTNER: You all love
and support Michael?

Unreservedly.

Definitely.

Mmhm.

Now it's turned to the fact
that I've come to realize

that my immediate family

are my -

For some unknown reason,

they've stuck by me, so...

The question
of how we could

forgive someone like Michael

is a classic example
of blaming the victim.

JOHN: Seems like
such an obvious analogy,

but you don't forgive someone

for contracting
their cancer.

Mom unfortunately lost her life.

But it's important
to keep in mind

that there are two
victims in this story,

and one of them happens
to still be suffering.

Michael survived
the terrible event

but he continues to suffer.

It seemed like
the positive memories

and the negative memories
both cause me pain.

Because...

look what I've done.

I...

I've impacted so many...

I've impacted this
network of people.

I think that,
with the loss of a loved one,

with an act of unthinkable
violence such as this,

our instinct is
to look for the fault,

look for the cause of it.

But we make a terrible mistake
to think that

that cause rests
with Michael himself.

The cause of this tragedy
is a mental disease.

It's a mistake to say

that Michael was
himself her killer.

I mean, her killer
was schizophrenia.

The cause of her death
was this disease.

I'm not able to grieve
the way I'd like to...

I have some grief,

but it's not...

It's not...

A feel-good grief,
which I imagine...

'Cause...

from what I know,

some people grieve

loved ones with fond memories,

whereas I'm not -

I'll just say this -
I'm grieving.

It's like if I grieve,

I kind -

unless...

There are odd moments
that contradict this -

Or not odd,
but spare,

occasional moments
that contradict this.

But for the most part
I grieve alone.

[♪♪♪]

JUSTINE: I'm not in Brockville
Mental Health Centre anymore.

And being out of a hospital

and being out of
an institution

when you've been
institutionalized

is actually pretty difficult

because you're always used
to having somebody around.

So when you're alone,

you're like,
"Where is everybody?"

There's lots of upsides.

There's friends, family,
being free.

You know,
I can have a drink if I want,

I can smoke a joint.

I can do what I want.

KASTNER:
Carole, I understand you have

a big surprise for us today.

I've got new teeth.

Tops and bottoms.

KASTNER:
Wow...

That looks really great.

Thank you.Congratulations.

I feel like a million bucks.

Oh, what big teeth you have!

NURSE:
Okay? Very good.

KASTNER:
Have people noticed?

Oh yeah, everyone's noticed.

What do they say to you?

They're saying I look great.

Look at Sal blush.

Eh?

Sal blushes on camera.

That's 'cause you're cute.

You're blushing
'cause I'm cute?

Oh!

Don't start that in here.

Might never stop.

Huh, yeah.

MIKE: I guess the bottom line
is I'm out of the hospital,

so I'm quite happy
that I've got this far.

And this is my apartment.

I'm living here with
another guy

and it's -

I'm still getting used to it,

but that's where
I'm standing now.

From two or three
days after I got here,

I'm happy I made this step.

[♪♪♪]

ROGER:
So you've made strides, then,

initial strides to,
you know,

to get out here
in the community

and make a life
here in Brockville.

MIKE:
For sure, it's...

I try to keep busy.

ROGER:
Well what's -

your diagnosis
is schizophrenia, eh?

Or just plain nuts?

MIKE:
No, no.

And now that I'm here,

it's like at some points I'm
starting to get optimistic

about maybe at one point

making further steps.

But the idea is to kind of
take it somewhat slowly.

ROGER:
What medication do you take?

MIKE: Yeah, twice a day
I take medication, right?

ROGER:
Yeah, and you find it helps?

MIKE:
Oh yeah, yeah, definitely.

ROGER: Otherwise you'd be
pretty goofy, I suppose.

[Both laugh]

MIKE:
Right.

Yeah, yeah,
that's cool.