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CHRISTINE: So you'll be pleased to hear
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Rupert has decided to promote
you to divisional officer.
3
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What?!
4
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Do you mind if I take your photo?
5
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It's for "GCHQ" magazine.
6
00:00:11,909 --> 00:00:14,046
Uh, sure. Is it for the cover?
7
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No. That's a picture of a
horse drinking from a pond.
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[CLICK]
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Wait, wait. I wasn't ready. Do it again.
10
00:00:19,822 --> 00:00:20,930
Well, I can just keep taking them
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if you want to carry on talking.
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JERRY: Oh, great. Yeah.
13
00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:26,786
So is it specifically to
do with last week's success
14
00:00:26,825 --> 00:00:29,596
or more for generally being
awesome all year round?
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00:00:29,635 --> 00:00:31,059
CHRISTINE: Hard to tell if it's either.
16
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:34,245
JERRY: Still, it'll be nice
to finally have you under me.
17
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:36,776
CHRISTINE: Not quite. I don't
think that's ever gonna happen.
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00:00:36,815 --> 00:00:38,280
JERRY: What about a company car?
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00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:39,783
CHRISTINE: There's a
department Toyota Yaris,
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00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:42,077
but the passenger
seat's stuck in recline,
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00:00:42,117 --> 00:00:45,045
but you'll have unlimited
access to Evelyn of course.
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00:00:45,084 --> 00:00:46,866
- EVELYN: These are so great.
- JERRY: Yeah?
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- EVELYN: Yeah.
- JERRY: Here. How about...
24
00:00:48,725 --> 00:00:50,663
I saw this in a magazine
once, just like...
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00:00:50,703 --> 00:00:52,285
EVELYN: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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00:00:52,326 --> 00:00:54,263
JERRY: More like Ryan Gosling.
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00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:55,885
EVELYN: Oh, yeah. I love that.
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CHRISTINE: You carry on.
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[CAMERA BEEPING]
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[SATELLITE BEEPING]
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[COMMUNICATION CHATTER]
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CHRISTINE: How's your
mum doing by the way?
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MARY: OK. She won't leave
the house without an ax
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and has started having flashbacks.
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At least she's stopped
humping everything.
36
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[CHAIR THUMPING]
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Anything else?
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JERRY: Uh, yeah. Anything else?
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MARY: A report just
came in about a plane
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trapped in a holding
pattern above Heathrow
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because of a cockpit bug.
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So they may have to jump.
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Well, I had a friend who survived a fall
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from that height, but
I think it was because
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he landed in Lake Geneva.
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That's impossible. Hitting
water from that height
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would be like hitting concrete.
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Well, he landed in water.
49
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CHRISTINE: Send it through
to programming support.
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00:01:49,274 --> 00:01:52,074
Uh, yeah, Mary. Send it
through to programming support.
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00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:54,313
CHRISTINE: As some of
you may have noticed,
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Jerry has been offered
a promotion following
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last week's victory.
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JERRY: Oh, let's...
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I just want to say that up to a point
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00:02:03,112 --> 00:02:05,910
I really could not have done
it without all of your help,
57
00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,591
so thank you up to a point.
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00:02:07,630 --> 00:02:11,430
MARY: Gosh. I haven't been
promoted in nearly 35 years.
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00:02:11,469 --> 00:02:13,425
Oh. I think that's just because
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00:02:13,426 --> 00:02:15,669
no one expected you
to outlive the system.
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00:02:15,709 --> 00:02:16,989
Thank you.
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00:02:17,028 --> 00:02:18,709
TUVA: So will you be above Chris?
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00:02:18,748 --> 00:02:20,187
- Certainly not.
- Yeah. Maybe.
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00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:22,388
Well, we're just... it's
still getting worked out,
65
00:02:22,428 --> 00:02:25,786
plus you should know
I'm also being considered
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00:02:25,827 --> 00:02:29,987
for an extremely senior
position back at the NSA.
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00:02:30,026 --> 00:02:32,065
It's kind of like total vindication.
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00:02:32,151 --> 00:02:34,830
- MARY: Gosh.
- CHRISTINE: How senior are we talking?
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JERRY: I think even older than Mary.
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- MARY: Maybe I should apply.
- JERRY: No. Actually,
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00:02:38,150 --> 00:02:40,909
these kinds of roles are
only available to men.
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00:02:40,948 --> 00:02:42,309
CHRISTINE: You'd be surprised.
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00:02:42,348 --> 00:02:43,948
JERRY: Actually,
Chris, you know, I don't
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00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:46,428
really see you as a woman anymore.
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00:02:46,468 --> 00:02:49,827
No. I'm beginning to
see you as an equal.
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00:02:49,868 --> 00:02:51,427
TUVA: Will you take the job?
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JERRY: I don't know. Why?
Would you miss me if I did?
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Yeah.
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[DOOR OPENS]
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JOSEPH: Ahh. Morning.
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CHRISTINE: Joseph, you
know you've been fired.
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JOSEPH: Oh, I know.
Just my pass still works.
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00:03:01,465 --> 00:03:02,824
CHRISTINE: You can't just
keep wandering in here
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00:03:02,865 --> 00:03:04,064
whenever you feel like it.
85
00:03:04,104 --> 00:03:05,625
JOSEPH: I know. I just... sorry.
86
00:03:05,664 --> 00:03:07,304
Mary, do you mind if I
just leave that with you?
87
00:03:07,343 --> 00:03:10,063
- What's that?
- Oh, it's I'm just organizing a little whip-round...
88
00:03:10,103 --> 00:03:11,424
- JERRY: For yourself?
- JOSEPH: Yeah.
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00:03:11,464 --> 00:03:13,222
CHRISTINE: These are
not for personal use.
90
00:03:13,262 --> 00:03:14,637
We only use these when there's
been a domestic atrocity.
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00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,183
MARY: Is that why you're leaving?
92
00:03:16,222 --> 00:03:17,902
JOSEPH: Um, by the way,
one thing I forgot to ask
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00:03:17,941 --> 00:03:19,462
just as another way around it, Chris,
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00:03:19,501 --> 00:03:21,422
would you have any objection
to me working from home?
95
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Yes! You've been fired!
96
00:03:23,021 --> 00:03:24,500
- Even if I work from home?
- Yes.
97
00:03:24,540 --> 00:03:26,461
It as your inadequacy
that you got you fired,
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not where you sit in Cheltenham.
99
00:03:28,659 --> 00:03:30,180
- Right.
- Ouch.
100
00:03:30,219 --> 00:03:32,219
But seriously, uh, you doing OK?
101
00:03:32,259 --> 00:03:33,619
Yeah.
102
00:03:33,658 --> 00:03:35,938
MARY: Maybe you and Jerry
could have a joint party.
103
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Why? Have you been fired, as well?
104
00:03:37,459 --> 00:03:38,777
No. I've been promoted.
105
00:03:38,817 --> 00:03:40,298
It's kind of like the opposite.
106
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In fact, I get to put
my own team together.
107
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That'll be all, Joseph.
108
00:03:46,256 --> 00:03:49,136
Uh, actually, Chris, I
mean, as Joseph's here,
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I could really use someone to help
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categorize all the Korean chatter.
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Joseph doesn't work here anymore.
112
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JOSEPH: I mean, I don't speak Korean,
113
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but Jay Wu might give you a hand.
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He works in the canteen.
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CHRISTINE: He wouldn't have
the correct clearance.
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00:04:00,893 --> 00:04:02,414
MARY: He's also completely blind.
117
00:04:02,453 --> 00:04:05,653
TUVA: Isn't that an advantage when
you're handling sensitive material?
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00:04:05,692 --> 00:04:07,252
- CHRISTINE: Not always.
- JERRY: Maybe he could just
119
00:04:07,293 --> 00:04:09,011
help me during his lunch break.
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00:04:09,051 --> 00:04:10,412
JOSEPH: Sorry. Are we
talking about me or Jay Wu?
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CHRISTINE: Jay Wu. You've been fired.
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He doesn't get a lunch break.
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He works in the canteen!
124
00:04:14,651 --> 00:04:16,010
Does he get any kind of break?
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He's completely blind! OK. Back to work.
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00:04:18,331 --> 00:04:19,929
- JOSEPH: I agree.
- CHRISTINE: Not you!
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00:04:19,970 --> 00:04:21,410
- JOSEPH: Not me. Sorry.
- JERRY: All right, buddy.
128
00:04:21,449 --> 00:04:22,929
JOSEPH: Thank you.
129
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,487
- Jerry.
- Hyah! Ohh!
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00:04:31,528 --> 00:04:33,288
JOSEPH: No. It's me.
131
00:04:33,328 --> 00:04:35,407
- JERRY: Man!
- JOSEPH: Close the blinds.
132
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Ahh.
133
00:04:40,805 --> 00:04:43,805
- JERRY: No, no.
- JOSEPH: Oh, sorry.
134
00:04:43,846 --> 00:04:46,765
Ahh.
135
00:04:46,804 --> 00:04:48,325
JERRY: What's going on?
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00:04:48,364 --> 00:04:50,803
JOSEPH: Oh, I just fancied
a little chat really.
137
00:04:50,844 --> 00:04:52,243
So this new promotion, does it come
138
00:04:52,284 --> 00:04:53,883
with, like, a big pay rise then or what?
139
00:04:53,923 --> 00:04:56,283
JERRY: Oh, yeah. It's,
like, off the chart.
140
00:04:56,323 --> 00:04:57,643
It's like silly money.
141
00:04:57,682 --> 00:04:59,002
JOSEPH: Oh, wow. How silly?
142
00:04:59,042 --> 00:05:00,962
JERRY: I might... I
might buy The Citrus.
143
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,642
- What, the whole hotel?
- Yeah.
144
00:05:02,681 --> 00:05:04,121
Well, if I can't find another job,
145
00:05:04,162 --> 00:05:05,841
I might genuinely need
somewhere to stay, so...
146
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:09,401
Well, if we're not sold out, I mean...
147
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,520
You know of anyone hiring at the moment?
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00:05:14,559 --> 00:05:18,998
OK. So I don't know how
you're gonna feel about this,
149
00:05:19,038 --> 00:05:21,718
but I've been giving
it a lot of thought...
150
00:05:21,758 --> 00:05:23,237
You have?
151
00:05:23,278 --> 00:05:26,597
And given your experience
working here at GCHQ...
152
00:05:26,637 --> 00:05:29,277
- Yes.
- Well, I mean, how would
153
00:05:29,317 --> 00:05:34,475
you feel about going
undercover as a terrorist?
154
00:05:34,516 --> 00:05:37,075
Wha?
155
00:05:37,114 --> 00:05:38,994
I don't think I'd be tall enough, Jerry.
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00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:40,994
JERRY: Oh, actually,
from our point of view,
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00:05:41,034 --> 00:05:42,954
a short terrorist is a good thing
158
00:05:42,993 --> 00:05:44,473
because you're always looking up,
159
00:05:44,514 --> 00:05:46,553
which is great for CCTV.
160
00:05:46,593 --> 00:05:47,953
Have you ever fired a gun?
161
00:05:47,992 --> 00:05:49,672
No. No, no, no.
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00:05:49,713 --> 00:05:51,273
Well, there was one
time when I was a Cub
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00:05:51,313 --> 00:05:53,072
and someone brought air rifles in,
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00:05:53,111 --> 00:05:55,752
but none of them worked, and
Akela nearly exploded so...
165
00:05:55,791 --> 00:05:57,511
Yeah. I didn't
understand a word of that.
166
00:05:57,550 --> 00:05:59,511
OK. Jerry, I'm just gonna
throw this out there.
167
00:05:59,550 --> 00:06:01,711
Given that you've been promoted
and you're forming a new team,
168
00:06:01,751 --> 00:06:03,989
would you consider hiring me?
169
00:06:04,029 --> 00:06:07,150
Ha!
170
00:06:07,190 --> 00:06:09,228
- You all right?
- Ahem.
171
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:15,987
Uh... um... yeah. Yeah, I'd consider it.
172
00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:19,587
I mean, I'd have to
talk to Chris... first.
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00:06:19,627 --> 00:06:21,906
I'd worry about how that might look.
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00:06:21,947 --> 00:06:23,306
Because we used to be married?
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00:06:23,345 --> 00:06:26,386
No, and I swear to God, you
bring that up one more time...
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00:06:26,425 --> 00:06:28,625
- OK, OK, yeah.
- I meant more in terms
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00:06:28,664 --> 00:06:30,385
of your lack of ability.
178
00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:34,944
Apart from GCHQ, what
genuinely makes you happy?
179
00:06:34,983 --> 00:06:36,584
Charlotte obviously.
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00:06:36,624 --> 00:06:39,222
Um...
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00:06:39,263 --> 00:06:40,383
and you.
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00:06:40,422 --> 00:06:42,743
Yeah.
183
00:06:42,782 --> 00:06:44,101
I just don't know what I'm gonna do.
184
00:06:44,142 --> 00:06:45,421
OK. I'll tell you what.
185
00:06:45,461 --> 00:06:46,861
Listen. I'll talk to Chris.
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00:06:46,901 --> 00:06:48,182
Thank you, Jerry.
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00:06:48,221 --> 00:06:51,460
I just can't promise anything, OK?
188
00:06:51,501 --> 00:06:53,020
Yeah.
189
00:06:53,061 --> 00:06:56,219
Oh, I wish there was
anything else you could do.
190
00:07:07,178 --> 00:07:08,777
Think it would be OK
if I took the cables?
191
00:07:08,818 --> 00:07:10,976
Take what you like.
192
00:07:11,016 --> 00:07:13,377
MAN: Hey. Uh, are you Joseph?
193
00:07:13,416 --> 00:07:16,616
Uh, yes. Are you here
to fix the photocopier?
194
00:07:16,655 --> 00:07:19,176
No. You're in my seat.
195
00:07:19,215 --> 00:07:22,295
Oh. Sorry. Gosh.
196
00:07:22,334 --> 00:07:25,294
So... so you're like the...
the new... the new me.
197
00:07:25,333 --> 00:07:30,332
- What do you think?
- I don't know.
198
00:07:30,373 --> 00:07:32,772
[JOSEPH MUMBLING]
199
00:07:32,813 --> 00:07:36,132
MAN: What's that?
200
00:07:36,172 --> 00:07:37,372
- JOSEPH: You all right?
- MAN: Yeah.
201
00:07:37,411 --> 00:07:38,651
Does this go any lower?
202
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:41,131
JOSEPH: Um, it should do.
203
00:07:41,171 --> 00:07:42,770
There for a while I
had the barrel blocked
204
00:07:42,811 --> 00:07:43,890
because I read that if
you adjust it too much
205
00:07:43,890 --> 00:07:45,131
it gives you spina bifida.
206
00:07:45,171 --> 00:07:47,009
- There you go.
- OK. Wonderful.
207
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,889
MARY: Hello. I'm Mary, by the way.
208
00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:53,008
MAN: Hi. That's a very realistic wig.
209
00:07:53,049 --> 00:07:56,407
TUVA: It's not a wig.
210
00:07:56,447 --> 00:07:58,007
Do you need me to show
you where the toilet is?
211
00:07:58,048 --> 00:07:59,767
MAN: No. I need you to fuck off.
212
00:08:03,287 --> 00:08:05,127
It's great to have
you on the team, Jerry.
213
00:08:05,167 --> 00:08:06,726
We'll celebrate when I'm back.
214
00:08:06,765 --> 00:08:08,806
- Sounds good.
- And, Chris...
215
00:08:08,845 --> 00:08:10,965
you know where to
find me if you need me.
216
00:08:11,005 --> 00:08:12,485
- Yes.
- Whoa.
217
00:08:12,524 --> 00:08:14,004
The Canadian Rockies.
218
00:08:14,045 --> 00:08:16,125
JERRY: So listen. Would
it make things easier
219
00:08:16,165 --> 00:08:18,483
if from now on I sat in your chair?
220
00:08:18,524 --> 00:08:19,804
- No.
- I just thought now
221
00:08:19,843 --> 00:08:21,203
that we're on the same pay grade...
222
00:08:21,243 --> 00:08:23,283
We're not, and that's not how it works.
223
00:08:23,322 --> 00:08:27,321
Well, do you think I can, like, have
a little spin around in it, or...
224
00:08:27,361 --> 00:08:30,762
- Jerry.
- Fine. Go... oh, my God! A spider!
225
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,440
What do you want, Jerry?
226
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:35,161
Um, so, uh... got it.
227
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,800
So listen. Um, it's about Joseph.
228
00:08:37,839 --> 00:08:39,119
Is he still in the building?
229
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:40,599
Yeah. I can't get him to leave.
230
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,118
Have you tried the window?
231
00:08:42,159 --> 00:08:44,559
I was thinking there
might be another way.
232
00:08:44,598 --> 00:08:46,958
The roof.
233
00:08:46,999 --> 00:08:48,678
You don't want that, do you?
234
00:08:48,717 --> 00:08:52,197
[KNOCK ON GLASS]
235
00:08:52,237 --> 00:08:54,037
- Sorry. I...
- Can you fuck off?
236
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:55,637
Yes. Yeah.
237
00:08:59,595 --> 00:09:02,396
Hey. Nice to see you again.
238
00:09:02,435 --> 00:09:04,275
CHRISTINE: OK. I'll cut to the chase.
239
00:09:04,314 --> 00:09:07,474
Assuming Jerry retains
his elevated status here
240
00:09:07,515 --> 00:09:10,073
at GCHQ, which given
abysmal decisions like this
241
00:09:10,113 --> 00:09:16,553
I'd say won't be for long, he
has requested you as his new P.A.
242
00:09:16,592 --> 00:09:18,951
- JOSEPH: You're kidding.
- CHRISTINE: Sadly not.
243
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:20,552
JOSEPH: Does it require
any formal training?
244
00:09:20,591 --> 00:09:22,951
No. So far as I can tell, it
doesn't require any training.
245
00:09:22,992 --> 00:09:25,671
JERRY: You were
designed for this, buddy.
246
00:09:25,710 --> 00:09:26,950
JOSEPH: I don't know what to say.
247
00:09:26,991 --> 00:09:28,589
Thank you so much. Thank you.
248
00:09:28,630 --> 00:09:29,990
I got your back.
249
00:09:30,030 --> 00:09:31,750
CHRISTINE: Well, don't
get too comfortable.
250
00:09:31,790 --> 00:09:33,589
I won't.
251
00:09:33,629 --> 00:09:35,108
The NRA just called.
252
00:09:35,149 --> 00:09:36,989
Oh. Has my membership lapsed?
253
00:09:37,029 --> 00:09:38,629
Oh, no, sorry. I mean, the NSA.
254
00:09:38,669 --> 00:09:40,227
- Jesus.
- Did I get the job?
255
00:09:40,268 --> 00:09:42,148
- JOSEPH: What job?
- CHRISTINE: The job at the NSA.
256
00:09:42,187 --> 00:09:43,946
JOSEPH: What job at the NSA?
Is this the same as my new job?
257
00:09:43,987 --> 00:09:45,667
- EVELYN: What new job?
- JOSEPH: I've been given a P.A.
258
00:09:45,706 --> 00:09:48,306
- No. You've been made a P.A.
- Is that not the same thing?
259
00:09:48,346 --> 00:09:49,746
- What about me?
- What do you mean?
260
00:09:49,786 --> 00:09:51,146
- Do I get a P.A.?
- You are a P.A.
261
00:09:51,185 --> 00:09:52,746
JERRY: Never mind any of that.
262
00:09:52,786 --> 00:09:53,945
What did they say?
263
00:09:53,986 --> 00:09:55,505
- Who?
- The NRA.
264
00:09:55,545 --> 00:09:56,745
JERRY AND CHRISTINE: NSA!
265
00:09:56,785 --> 00:09:58,545
EVELYN: Oh. You got the job.
266
00:09:58,584 --> 00:09:59,943
JERRY: Yes!
267
00:09:59,984 --> 00:10:01,943
CHRISTINE: Well, that didn't last long.
268
00:10:01,984 --> 00:10:04,784
JERRY: It was a blast.
269
00:10:12,548 --> 00:10:14,585
Hey. I didn't think you'd come.
270
00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:16,807
Neither did I.
271
00:10:16,848 --> 00:10:18,648
JOSEPH: Oh, wow. Wow!
272
00:10:18,689 --> 00:10:20,209
MARY: We couldn't work out what to wear,
273
00:10:20,249 --> 00:10:21,489
so we thought we'd play it safe.
274
00:10:21,528 --> 00:10:23,610
Jerry's gonna love it.
275
00:10:23,649 --> 00:10:24,850
Thank you.
276
00:10:24,889 --> 00:10:28,091
I'm on antidepressants.
277
00:10:28,130 --> 00:10:31,571
Have you got a bowl for these keys?
278
00:10:31,611 --> 00:10:33,252
Um...
279
00:10:33,291 --> 00:10:35,972
[ELECTRIC MOTOR BUZZING]
280
00:10:40,093 --> 00:10:44,574
Just, uh, some little...
281
00:10:44,614 --> 00:10:47,053
Help yourself to them.
282
00:10:51,855 --> 00:10:54,815
EVELYN: So wait. Is this a
surprise party or a leaving do?
283
00:10:54,856 --> 00:10:56,456
I'd just rather we didn't
really call it anything
284
00:10:56,496 --> 00:10:57,815
until we definitely know who's leaving.
285
00:10:57,856 --> 00:10:59,497
CHRISTINE: Well, you for starters.
286
00:10:59,536 --> 00:11:00,816
EVELYN: You're leaving again?
287
00:11:00,857 --> 00:11:02,257
Is that the surprise?
288
00:11:02,296 --> 00:11:04,056
JOSEPH: I just thought
it might be a nice way
289
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:05,817
to show Jerry how appreciative
we are of him being here.
290
00:11:05,858 --> 00:11:09,137
- Before he leaves?
- Yeah, or if he decides to stay.
291
00:11:09,177 --> 00:11:10,778
EVELYN: What, and make you his P.A.?
292
00:11:10,818 --> 00:11:12,379
I should think that's unlikely now.
293
00:11:12,418 --> 00:11:14,459
Well, anything's possible.
294
00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:16,139
MARY: Conjoined twins are unlikely,
295
00:11:16,179 --> 00:11:18,819
but we've actually got
4 sets in our church.
296
00:11:18,860 --> 00:11:20,660
Well, there you go. Yeah.
297
00:11:20,701 --> 00:11:22,420
I'm actually so confused.
298
00:11:22,461 --> 00:11:24,420
[CRUNCH]
299
00:11:24,461 --> 00:11:26,462
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
300
00:11:26,502 --> 00:11:28,141
- JOSEPH: Hey.
- JERRY: Oh. Hey.
301
00:11:28,181 --> 00:11:29,821
I didn't know if I had the right place.
302
00:11:29,862 --> 00:11:32,703
So, I mean, are all
these buildings finished?
303
00:11:32,743 --> 00:11:35,022
Y... yeah. Come in.
304
00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:38,624
- Yeah. Can you, uh...
- Yeah. Sure.
305
00:11:38,663 --> 00:11:41,505
JERRY: So, you know, I'm actually glad
306
00:11:41,544 --> 00:11:43,064
it's just gonna be the two of us
307
00:11:43,105 --> 00:11:47,185
because, um, I wanted you to the
first to know that I decided...
308
00:11:47,226 --> 00:11:48,945
- MARY: Surprise!
- JERRY: Jesus! Fuck!
309
00:11:48,986 --> 00:11:50,945
JOSEPH: No. It's Mary, it's Mary, Jerry.
310
00:11:50,986 --> 00:11:53,546
Thought it was The Purge or something.
311
00:11:53,587 --> 00:11:55,987
What...
312
00:11:56,026 --> 00:12:00,027
What... heh. You guys,
you shouldn't have.
313
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:02,629
Is this my going away party?
314
00:12:02,668 --> 00:12:04,428
Well, at first, it was gonna be mine,
315
00:12:04,469 --> 00:12:05,908
and then it wasn't gonna be anyone's,
316
00:12:05,948 --> 00:12:07,590
and now I guess it's... well, it's...
317
00:12:07,630 --> 00:12:08,829
well, it's up to you.
318
00:12:08,870 --> 00:12:12,429
So yes. Ho! That is so sweet.
319
00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:13,591
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
320
00:12:13,631 --> 00:12:14,670
JOSEPH: Sorry. I'll... sorry.
321
00:12:14,711 --> 00:12:16,271
Two seconds.
322
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:23,593
JERRY: Quentin's here. Yay.
323
00:12:23,633 --> 00:12:25,032
CHARLOTTE: Ooh. What's that muck there?
324
00:12:25,072 --> 00:12:26,393
JOSEPH: I don't know.
Everyone's been clomping
325
00:12:26,432 --> 00:12:27,873
around in their shoes and stuff.
326
00:12:27,912 --> 00:12:30,073
So who here do you already know?
327
00:12:30,114 --> 00:12:32,033
CHARLOTTE: Only Superman
and Wonder Woman.
328
00:12:32,073 --> 00:12:33,715
JOSEPH: Oh, yeah. Just so
you're not disappointed,
329
00:12:33,755 --> 00:12:35,115
they're not the actual ones.
330
00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:36,914
When do you want to set light to this?
331
00:12:36,954 --> 00:12:38,834
Oh, and you're absolutely
sure it's a celebratory thing?
332
00:12:38,876 --> 00:12:40,835
Yeah. People are doing it
on the Internet all the time.
333
00:12:40,876 --> 00:12:42,675
OK. I think just save
it for the end then.
334
00:12:42,716 --> 00:12:44,556
Nice way to finish off.
335
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,477
So we got celery, carrot, cucumber.
336
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:50,037
So you've made your final decision?
337
00:12:50,077 --> 00:12:53,478
I don't know. Maybe I'll
stay just to piss you off.
338
00:12:53,518 --> 00:12:55,239
That would be very fitting.
339
00:12:55,279 --> 00:12:56,639
Heh heh. Yeah.
340
00:12:56,678 --> 00:12:58,958
As long as you know who you can trust.
341
00:13:01,079 --> 00:13:03,959
You know, despite your cold, brittle,
342
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,761
impenetrable shell, Chris,
343
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,200
I at least suspected there was something
344
00:13:08,241 --> 00:13:11,242
soft, warm, and gooey lurking inside.
345
00:13:11,282 --> 00:13:13,242
Easy mistake to make.
346
00:13:16,243 --> 00:13:17,643
Heh.
347
00:13:19,603 --> 00:13:20,923
JERRY: Well, at least this time,
348
00:13:20,963 --> 00:13:22,284
I'll be heading back on my own terms
349
00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:24,443
instead of them trying to extradite me.
350
00:13:24,484 --> 00:13:27,245
That actually happened to
one of my African Brownies.
351
00:13:27,285 --> 00:13:28,885
Are you allowed to call them that?
352
00:13:28,924 --> 00:13:32,085
Thankfully, she ended up catching
up sepsis on a tree stump,
353
00:13:32,126 --> 00:13:34,886
so she wasn't allowed on the plane.
354
00:13:34,925 --> 00:13:37,247
- Shall we get a drink?
- Oh! Thank you.
355
00:13:37,287 --> 00:13:39,487
[CULTURE CLUB'S "KARMA
CHAMELEON" PLAYING]
356
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,086
JOSEPH: Hey. You all right?
357
00:13:41,127 --> 00:13:42,488
JERRY: Hey. What's that?
358
00:13:42,528 --> 00:13:46,047
JOSEPH: Oh. That is a,
uh, hummus fountain thing.
359
00:13:46,087 --> 00:13:48,048
Ahh. It's nice. You having a good time?
360
00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:50,928
Yeah. I just wish we'd
done this more often.
361
00:13:50,968 --> 00:13:53,290
Well, we can if you stay.
362
00:13:53,329 --> 00:13:54,849
CHARLOTTE: Where do you keep your bread?
363
00:13:54,890 --> 00:13:56,329
- JOSEPH: Oh. Um...
- JERRY: Hello.
364
00:13:56,370 --> 00:13:58,251
- JOSEPH: Sorry. Yeah.
- JERRY: Jerry Bernstein.
365
00:13:58,291 --> 00:14:00,090
- You must be Charlene.
- Charlotte.
366
00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,371
- Char-lot.
- As in the potato.
367
00:14:02,411 --> 00:14:04,051
What... what... what's that?
368
00:14:04,091 --> 00:14:05,691
CHARLOTTE: You not heard of potatoes?
369
00:14:05,732 --> 00:14:09,852
I... heh heh.
370
00:14:09,893 --> 00:14:12,293
You're, um... so you're tall.
371
00:14:12,332 --> 00:14:13,693
Yeah. Always have been.
372
00:14:13,734 --> 00:14:15,213
- JOSEPH: Yes.
- JERRY: Yeah.
373
00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:16,534
Your poor mother.
374
00:14:16,573 --> 00:14:17,933
Hmm. She was even taller than me.
375
00:14:17,973 --> 00:14:19,574
Oh. Well, of course obviously.
376
00:14:19,615 --> 00:14:22,495
Otherwise, how would you
have, you know, like, pfff?
377
00:14:22,535 --> 00:14:25,296
Come out is what I...
378
00:14:25,335 --> 00:14:28,455
Anyway, I'm so, so glad you're gonna be
379
00:14:28,496 --> 00:14:30,657
looking after my buddy here.
380
00:14:30,696 --> 00:14:32,056
That's a long commitment.
381
00:14:32,096 --> 00:14:34,618
- Well... hopefully.
- Could be.
382
00:14:34,658 --> 00:14:36,738
- JERRY: No, it is. It is.
- CHARLOTTE: OK.
383
00:14:36,778 --> 00:14:38,577
I might just, uh, go to the toilet.
384
00:14:38,618 --> 00:14:40,019
- You all right?
- Yeah.
385
00:14:40,058 --> 00:14:41,858
JERRY: Oh.
386
00:14:41,899 --> 00:14:43,659
- Fuck. I'm so sorry.
- No, it's all right.
387
00:14:43,698 --> 00:14:45,740
- I totally messed that up.
- It's not... not...
388
00:14:45,780 --> 00:14:47,620
- Hi.
- Hope you don't mind,
389
00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:49,900
but I just did a wee in your garden.
390
00:14:49,939 --> 00:14:54,021
I don't have a garden.
391
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,542
I... Quentin?
392
00:14:56,581 --> 00:14:58,061
Hopefully it was just a wee.
393
00:14:58,101 --> 00:15:00,702
[KYLIE MINOGUE'S "LOCO-MOTION" PLAYING]
394
00:15:04,543 --> 00:15:05,784
I don't know if now is a good time,
395
00:15:05,823 --> 00:15:07,264
but here you go.
396
00:15:07,304 --> 00:15:09,223
Aw. That's so kind.
397
00:15:09,264 --> 00:15:10,624
MARY: Sorry it's not much.
398
00:15:10,664 --> 00:15:12,305
With what's his name who I like.
399
00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:13,665
QUENTIN: Benedict Cumberbatch.
400
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:15,824
MARY: I love him.
401
00:15:15,864 --> 00:15:17,345
QUENTIN: Yes. She loves him.
402
00:15:17,386 --> 00:15:18,985
JERRY: Is that about the
guy in the wheelchair?
403
00:15:19,026 --> 00:15:20,705
TUVA: That's Stephen Hawking.
404
00:15:20,746 --> 00:15:23,427
Such a great actor. Did
he used to work at GCHQ?
405
00:15:23,466 --> 00:15:25,066
No.
406
00:15:25,106 --> 00:15:26,627
MARY: I think he passed away
quite a few years ago now.
407
00:15:26,668 --> 00:15:28,028
EVELYN: Benedict Cumberbatch?
408
00:15:28,067 --> 00:15:29,628
JERRY: So did you guys
get anything for me?
409
00:15:29,668 --> 00:15:31,668
- TUVA: Therapy.
- JERRY: Cool!
410
00:15:31,707 --> 00:15:33,029
What?
411
00:15:33,068 --> 00:15:34,468
CHRISTINE: I don't know about you,
412
00:15:34,509 --> 00:15:35,868
but I'd like to propose a toast.
413
00:15:35,909 --> 00:15:37,630
Chrissy, come on. You
don't have to do that.
414
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,069
CHRISTINE: To Joseph.
415
00:15:39,109 --> 00:15:40,989
ALL: To Joseph.
416
00:15:41,030 --> 00:15:44,950
CHRISTINE: "Departed at
last with mutual civility
417
00:15:44,990 --> 00:15:50,831
and possibly a mutual desire
of never meeting again."
418
00:15:50,871 --> 00:15:52,711
JOSEPH: Aw, Chris.
419
00:15:52,752 --> 00:15:54,313
JERRY: That's so sweet.
420
00:15:54,352 --> 00:15:55,673
Was that Britney?
421
00:15:55,712 --> 00:15:57,793
- Not quite. Jane Austen.
- Yes, of course.
422
00:15:57,832 --> 00:16:00,394
Either way, I knew it had
to be written by a woman.
423
00:16:00,434 --> 00:16:02,993
Well, I'd like to say
something if I may.
424
00:16:03,034 --> 00:16:04,874
About me or you?
425
00:16:04,915 --> 00:16:10,436
Yep. Uh, this is open
to interpretation. Ahem.
426
00:16:10,475 --> 00:16:13,396
"We go together
427
00:16:13,436 --> 00:16:17,236
Like rama lama lama
428
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:20,717
Ka dinga da ding dong
429
00:16:20,758 --> 00:16:23,278
Remembered forever
430
00:16:23,318 --> 00:16:25,519
As shoo-bop
431
00:16:25,559 --> 00:16:31,320
Sha wadda wadda yippity boom de boom
432
00:16:31,359 --> 00:16:33,479
That's the way it should be
433
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:39,200
Wha ooh, yeah."
434
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:42,081
ALL: Wha ooh, yeah.
435
00:16:42,121 --> 00:16:44,241
- So is that Britney?
- Yeah.
436
00:16:49,202 --> 00:16:52,684
CHARLOTTE: So is it your birthday then?
437
00:16:52,723 --> 00:16:57,805
Oh. Um, no. Heh. Not quite. No.
438
00:16:57,844 --> 00:17:03,085
I... I... I got fired.
439
00:17:03,125 --> 00:17:05,085
Sorry.
440
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:07,487
What for?
441
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,007
Gross incompetence.
442
00:17:09,047 --> 00:17:11,647
No. What are you sorry for?
443
00:17:11,687 --> 00:17:15,847
Oh. I just don't want you to be
disappointed in me, that's all.
444
00:17:15,887 --> 00:17:21,088
Don't be silly. Couldn't give a shit.
445
00:17:21,128 --> 00:17:22,970
Heh.
446
00:17:27,410 --> 00:17:29,011
[DOOR OPENS]
447
00:17:32,491 --> 00:17:34,012
JOSEPH: Hey. Jerry: Hey.
448
00:17:34,052 --> 00:17:36,931
- You all right?
- Yeah.
449
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:38,132
What?
450
00:17:38,172 --> 00:17:40,612
JOSEPH: Ahh. Ohh.
451
00:17:40,652 --> 00:17:43,653
JERRY: OK, OK. Ah!
452
00:17:48,694 --> 00:17:51,854
- JERRY: Listen. I wanted to...
- JOSEPH: Listen. I just wanted to... oh, no. You.
453
00:17:51,894 --> 00:17:53,576
- No. Go ahead.
- No. Honestly.
454
00:17:53,615 --> 00:17:55,256
- Go, go, please.
- Please.
455
00:17:55,296 --> 00:17:56,496
- Heh heh.
- Ha ha!
456
00:17:56,536 --> 00:17:57,615
I just want you to speak.
457
00:17:57,655 --> 00:17:59,616
JERRY: Just go. Go!
458
00:18:03,136 --> 00:18:05,298
JOSEPH: I mean, this... this
might sound completely mad,
459
00:18:05,338 --> 00:18:07,177
and obviously I'd need to
check with Charlotte first,
460
00:18:07,218 --> 00:18:09,698
but do you think I should go with you?
461
00:18:11,339 --> 00:18:16,740
Yeah. I mean, the only issue
I think we'd have with that
462
00:18:16,780 --> 00:18:19,700
is... is in proving that
no one else in the States
463
00:18:19,741 --> 00:18:21,821
could do what you do,
464
00:18:21,860 --> 00:18:24,741
you know, just from
a visa point of view.
465
00:18:24,781 --> 00:18:26,901
JOSEPH: Right. And
how... how many people
466
00:18:26,941 --> 00:18:28,461
are there in the States?
467
00:18:28,502 --> 00:18:32,902
JERRY: Right now, uh, 328
million, not including me.
468
00:18:35,343 --> 00:18:37,663
Oh, it'll... it'll be fine.
469
00:18:37,703 --> 00:18:38,984
It's gonna be fine.
470
00:18:39,024 --> 00:18:40,663
- Yeah.
- You know?
471
00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:42,184
We can still Zoom every 5 minutes.
472
00:18:42,225 --> 00:18:43,505
- Yeah!
- Yeah?
473
00:18:43,545 --> 00:18:44,985
Yeah. I mean...
474
00:18:45,025 --> 00:18:48,185
obviously, you know,
I'll be busy at times.
475
00:18:48,226 --> 00:18:50,226
Well, you know what?
I'd be more than happy
476
00:18:50,266 --> 00:18:53,267
to just sort of leave Skype on all day.
477
00:18:53,307 --> 00:18:54,906
You know, even if we're just going about
478
00:18:54,946 --> 00:18:56,307
our normal business, we can still
479
00:18:56,347 --> 00:18:57,947
sort of check in every
so often, say hello.
480
00:18:57,988 --> 00:19:01,107
Um, I'm sure we'll...
we'll figure something out.
481
00:19:01,147 --> 00:19:03,509
And there's Facetime,
and there's WhatsApp,
482
00:19:03,549 --> 00:19:04,908
and there's Houseparty.
483
00:19:04,948 --> 00:19:06,628
Can you... can you... sorry.
484
00:19:06,668 --> 00:19:08,189
- I'm just feeling a bit...
- Yeah.
485
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,709
lightheaded.
486
00:19:09,750 --> 00:19:11,590
Oh, eh?
487
00:19:11,629 --> 00:19:13,271
JERRY: Hmm.
488
00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:18,312
You know what you remind me of?
489
00:19:18,352 --> 00:19:21,512
- No.
- A pilot fish.
490
00:19:21,552 --> 00:19:23,192
Do you know the one I mean?
491
00:19:23,233 --> 00:19:26,392
It's... it's one of those
fish that swim under sharks.
492
00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:29,314
Oh, yeah, yeah. For
added protection. Yeah.
493
00:19:29,354 --> 00:19:30,913
Yeah, but here's the thing.
494
00:19:30,953 --> 00:19:34,954
It's also huge benefit to the shark
495
00:19:34,995 --> 00:19:39,435
because that tiny, little
fish eats all the little bits
496
00:19:39,475 --> 00:19:46,317
of dead, dry skin, keeping
that shark healthy and tall.
497
00:19:46,357 --> 00:19:49,157
Are you saying that's
what you'd like me to do?
498
00:19:49,197 --> 00:19:55,718
No. I just... I just want you
to remember that when I'm gone.
499
00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:59,600
[DOOR OPENS]
500
00:19:59,639 --> 00:20:01,719
Um, Wonder Woman's been sick.
501
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,879
Oh, God. Well, I better...
502
00:20:03,919 --> 00:20:07,081
are... are you coming in,
Jerry, or were gonna...
503
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:08,761
- Oh, give me a minute.
- She OK?
504
00:20:08,801 --> 00:20:10,522
No. It's, like, all in her wig.
505
00:20:10,562 --> 00:20:11,921
JOSEPH: Oh, God. Does Superman know?
506
00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,522
EVELYN: I don't know.
507
00:20:13,562 --> 00:20:16,603
- Push.
- Stop crowding me, Joseph.
508
00:20:16,642 --> 00:20:18,363
What am I doing?
509
00:20:22,923 --> 00:20:24,604
MAN: You order pizza?
510
00:20:24,643 --> 00:20:28,045
Oh. Uh, yeah.
511
00:20:28,085 --> 00:20:30,164
Um, let me just go get my...
512
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,405
[TIRES SQUEAL]
513
00:20:35,445 --> 00:20:36,966
[JERRY GRUNTS]
514
00:20:38,807 --> 00:20:41,047
[TIRES SQUEAL]
515
00:20:48,128 --> 00:20:50,369
[DOG BARKING]
516
00:20:52,370 --> 00:20:54,770
[ICE CUBES RATTLE]
517
00:20:54,810 --> 00:20:56,729
NOEL COWARD: ? Hurray, hurray, hurray ?
518
00:20:56,770 --> 00:20:58,371
? Misery's on the way ?
519
00:20:58,410 --> 00:21:02,252
? There are a bad times
just around the corner ?
520
00:21:02,292 --> 00:21:06,012
? There are dark clouds
hurtling through the sky ?
521
00:21:06,052 --> 00:21:08,533
? It's as clear as crystal ?
522
00:21:08,573 --> 00:21:10,533
? From Bridlington to Bristol ?
523
00:21:10,573 --> 00:21:12,132
? That we can't save democracy ?
524
00:21:12,172 --> 00:21:13,933
? And we don't much care ?
525
00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:15,933
? We'd better all learn the lyrics ?
526
00:21:15,973 --> 00:21:18,335
? Of the old "Red Flag" ?
527
00:21:18,375 --> 00:21:22,934
? And wait until we drop down dead ?
528
00:21:22,984 --> 00:21:27,534
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