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Previously on Californication...
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I want some fucking girls
and some fucking drugs.
3
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Drugs.
4
00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:21,189
I've decided to go abroad
for an indeterminate amount of time.
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00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:23,316
I want to make a literary pilgrimage.
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00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:25,985
How did you even know
where I was just now?
7
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I tracked your iPhone.
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That's really fuckin' weird, Ophelia.
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00:00:30,365 --> 00:00:35,286
You know chlorine kills 99.9%
of the sperm, right?
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Fine. I'll get a condom.
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00:00:37,247 --> 00:00:38,831
- Hank! What's up?
- Hey, man.
12
00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:41,501
I want you to meet Gabriel.
13
00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,462
You were getting sucked off
by your sponsor.
14
00:00:44,546 --> 00:00:46,589
Our daughter wants to go
on a literary pilgrimage.
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And what kind of malignant
fucking asshole
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00:00:48,424 --> 00:00:50,260
wouldn't indulge
that sort of behaviour?
17
00:00:50,343 --> 00:00:51,594
I think we should let her go.
18
00:00:51,678 --> 00:00:53,805
What are you gonna do?
You gonna slap me again?
19
00:00:57,016 --> 00:00:59,936
Woman, you are a fucking fruitcake!
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00:01:00,812 --> 00:01:02,647
Oh, my God! Ophelia!
21
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:05,024
I had to create Atticus Fetch.
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And now I have to kill him
before he kills me.
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00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,113
That doesn't make any sense.
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Well, that was a short-lived
mid-life career change.
25
00:01:26,296 --> 00:01:28,214
We're foreplaying here, Charlie.
26
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Not any more.
27
00:01:30,341 --> 00:01:31,884
Charlie Runkle,
28
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more irritating than shit on a shoe.
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Atticus has quit the business.
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Yay!
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His wife is divorcing him.
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He's pulling out of the musical.
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He's cancelling his world tour.
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Bummer.
Both of those disappointed fans.
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00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:46,274
Fuck the fans, Hank.
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00:01:46,357 --> 00:01:48,318
This is gonna cost him
tens of millions of dollars.
37
00:01:48,401 --> 00:01:49,569
But no, no, no.
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He wants to concentrate
on his sobriety
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00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:52,822
and enlightenment.
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He's at fucking Happy Endings!
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00:01:56,034 --> 00:01:58,453
- Listen, do you think maybe...
- No, Charlie.
42
00:01:58,536 --> 00:01:59,912
You don't even know
what I'm about to say.
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You were gonna ask me
to go talk to him for you.
44
00:02:01,581 --> 00:02:03,458
- Would you, Hank, please?
- No, can't do it. Won't do it.
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Of course he will. We'll talk to him.
46
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What the... Why, woman?
47
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Because Happy Endings is no place
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00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,173
for anyone's sobriety
or enlightenment.
49
00:02:10,256 --> 00:02:12,467
That's what I said, and you nagged me
for being negative.
50
00:02:12,550 --> 00:02:14,510
Well, who's being negative now?
51
00:02:16,429 --> 00:02:17,972
I'm not sure.
52
00:02:18,056 --> 00:02:22,060
Atticus Fetch made some great fucking
music at one time.
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00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:23,645
And if you were great once,
54
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you can be great again.
55
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Come on.
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00:02:26,731 --> 00:02:29,567
Let's help this phoenix
rise from the ashes.
57
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It'll be so much fun.
58
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I promise.
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00:02:34,572 --> 00:02:36,032
Oh, God!
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00:02:36,074 --> 00:02:37,575
I feel so inspired.
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I'm gonna go jerk off.
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- Run, save yourself.
- Come on.
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That shit'll stain your ears.
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I can't unhear that kind of shit.
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Quiet, please.
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00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:56,154
- I'm in the gap.
- That's cool.
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00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:58,072
Can you pick me up a polo
and a pair of chinos?
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I'll pay you back.
69
00:03:59,824 --> 00:04:01,993
The gap is the space
between my thoughts, Hank.
70
00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:06,330
So you're forgoing
millions of quatloos
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00:04:06,456 --> 00:04:08,416
to explore your mental taint?
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I don't wanna make music any more.
73
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What's the fucking point, really?
74
00:04:13,588 --> 00:04:15,423
I just want to...
75
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I just want to garden.
76
00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:21,679
How are you gonna keep
Air Force 69 in the sky
77
00:04:21,804 --> 00:04:22,847
gardening?
78
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:26,184
I'll fly coach. Business.
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00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,144
That is, if I fly at all any more.
80
00:04:28,186 --> 00:04:31,022
I don't see why I
would ever leave this place.
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00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:34,317
What about the fans?
82
00:04:35,693 --> 00:04:37,445
What fans?
83
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:39,530
You said it yourself, Hank.
I'm a fuckin' dinosaur.
84
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:41,699
Yeah, but dinosaurs are cool.
85
00:04:42,033 --> 00:04:43,493
You've seen a Velociraptor, right?
86
00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:44,869
It's pretty bad-ass.
87
00:04:44,994 --> 00:04:46,370
Atticus...
88
00:04:46,496 --> 00:04:50,500
You're one of the most iconic artists
in rock history.
89
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:53,169
You're just going
through a blue period.
90
00:04:53,211 --> 00:04:55,630
I appreciate it, dear girl.
91
00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:58,841
But I should've done the world
a favour and died young.
92
00:05:00,218 --> 00:05:01,719
Flash him.
93
00:05:07,058 --> 00:05:11,229
I'm sorry, I find no joy in
objectifying women any more.
94
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,564
It's not fun, and it's not funny.
95
00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:15,191
This is worse than I thought.
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00:05:15,233 --> 00:05:16,901
Your tits are powerless.
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00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:18,486
You're upsetting him.
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00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:20,571
What are you talking about?
The guy's practically lobotomised.
99
00:05:20,655 --> 00:05:23,324
I said that you could visit with him,
but you're getting him all riled up.
100
00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:24,492
He's very fragile right now.
101
00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:26,077
Which is the perfect time
for you to swoop in
102
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,495
and get all blowjobby with him.
103
00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:29,497
You should thank me.
104
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:32,416
Speaking of such things, do you have
any idea where Richard is?
105
00:05:32,542 --> 00:05:34,418
- Didn't you go to Fist?
- I did, yes.
106
00:05:34,544 --> 00:05:36,712
And they said that he
doesn't work there any more.
107
00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:38,673
Nice place, huh?
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00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:40,758
Like Disneyland.
109
00:05:40,842 --> 00:05:43,177
You're a complicated individual,
aren't you?
110
00:05:43,261 --> 00:05:44,887
The heart wants, Hank.
111
00:05:44,929 --> 00:05:46,013
- Gabriel?
- Yes?
112
00:05:46,097 --> 00:05:47,098
This encounter has left me feeling
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00:05:47,223 --> 00:05:49,183
like I'd really like
to use some drugs right now.
114
00:05:49,267 --> 00:05:51,060
Well, Hank has that effect on people.
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Let's talk about it in my office.
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Leave, now.
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00:05:59,735 --> 00:06:01,946
You gotta quit cogitating, bitch.
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00:06:02,113 --> 00:06:03,281
Becca is gonna be fine.
119
00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,741
Road trip is a rite of passage.
120
00:06:05,783 --> 00:06:07,952
You gotta have a little faith
in the girl.
121
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,872
Don't say that word, "Faith."
122
00:06:10,955 --> 00:06:12,415
Jesus, trouble walking.
123
00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:15,293
Look away. Look away. Look away.
124
00:06:17,712 --> 00:06:18,796
Ladies?
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Ophelia.
126
00:06:21,090 --> 00:06:22,550
What's up, crazy?
127
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:25,803
I would like to invite you to
my house for lunch.
128
00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:27,305
Oh, God! You know what?
129
00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:29,765
I gotta help my daughter.
130
00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:30,975
She's going on a road trip.
131
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,561
Yeah, I wasn't inviting you, Karen.
132
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OK.
133
00:06:40,985 --> 00:06:42,987
- What...
- Good luck.
134
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,947
- It's like that?
- Yeah, I think...
135
00:06:44,989 --> 00:06:46,157
Yeah.
136
00:06:47,325 --> 00:06:48,951
I have never been able to penetrate
137
00:06:48,993 --> 00:06:51,662
that woman's dysfunctional
relationship to men.
138
00:06:51,746 --> 00:06:54,832
She is just a lost cause.
139
00:06:54,916 --> 00:06:56,500
But you...
140
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,002
You
141
00:06:58,669 --> 00:07:00,922
are still impressionable.
142
00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:03,799
And I owe you a big apology.
143
00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:05,009
Hey, you know what? Just...
144
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,303
Let's forgive and forget.
145
00:07:07,345 --> 00:07:08,471
Please, Marcy.
146
00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:09,847
I really wanna make it up to you.
147
00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:11,349
You know, I don't wanna
leave it like this.
148
00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:13,351
I really don't, please.
149
00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:16,437
Pretty please?
150
00:07:17,188 --> 00:07:19,357
I know where you live, Marcy.
151
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,986
That's why it's so important
to live first.
152
00:07:24,028 --> 00:07:25,196
Write later.
153
00:07:25,321 --> 00:07:27,865
Pen, paper, laptop,
that shit doesn't matter.
154
00:07:27,949 --> 00:07:29,992
The only tool you need is right here
155
00:07:30,034 --> 00:07:31,702
between your legs.
156
00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:34,705
Use it every chance you get.
157
00:07:34,789 --> 00:07:37,041
Do not deny yourselves, children.
158
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:39,669
Follow every instinct,
159
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:41,963
then sit down and write about it.
160
00:07:43,047 --> 00:07:47,885
But do not get up
until you expose yourself.
161
00:07:51,222 --> 00:07:52,848
Thank you, children.
162
00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:54,308
Thank you. Go forth.
163
00:07:59,063 --> 00:08:01,732
- Batesy!
- Oh, my God, Hank!
164
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,571
- Thank you for that. That was lovely.
- Wow.
165
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:09,073
Batesy, this is Faith.
166
00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:11,575
Faith, what a beauty you are.
167
00:08:11,701 --> 00:08:14,745
- He's very friendly, super handsy.
- He's a friendly boy.
168
00:08:14,829 --> 00:08:15,997
Look at you two. Look at you two.
169
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,915
Dr Kinsey would be very confused
170
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,667
by my metre reading right now.
171
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:21,711
That's a compliment.
172
00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:23,087
These are my teaching assistants
173
00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:26,590
Rodrigo and Gabriela.
174
00:08:26,716 --> 00:08:28,926
You know, give us a moment,
kittens, go warm the bed.
175
00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:30,720
Unless, of course,
you two care to join us.
176
00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:32,179
- No!
- Rain check, yeah.
177
00:08:32,263 --> 00:08:33,764
We have no time
for your pansexual shenanigans.
178
00:08:33,889 --> 00:08:35,224
- Time crunch.
- We have a favour to ask, though.
179
00:08:35,266 --> 00:08:36,726
Anything, you know that.
180
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:40,271
We need to sneak some drugs
into rehab.
181
00:08:40,396 --> 00:08:42,440
That sounds fun. How can I help?
182
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:44,108
You can distract Gabriel.
183
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,861
Gabriel, oh, my gosh, that dear boy.
184
00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:49,947
That does sound like an adventure.
Let's do it.
185
00:08:50,031 --> 00:08:52,867
Listen, once again, Marcy,
I apologise.
186
00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:56,620
My behaviour was childish
187
00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:58,039
and uncalled for.
188
00:08:59,415 --> 00:09:02,126
You know what, man? It's OK.
189
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,628
There was no permanent damage.
190
00:09:04,754 --> 00:09:06,589
And at the very least, it was funny
191
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:09,091
watching Runks piss himself, right?
192
00:09:11,093 --> 00:09:12,470
Marcy?
193
00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:15,890
I have a confession to make.
194
00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:17,808
I'm scared.
195
00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:18,976
Don't be.
196
00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:21,270
If you could look into my heart
right now?
197
00:09:21,312 --> 00:09:24,815
If you could see
the expansive feelings
198
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:26,484
that I have for you?
199
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:29,278
You wouldn't be afraid.
200
00:09:30,488 --> 00:09:31,989
Well, when you put it that way,
201
00:09:32,073 --> 00:09:34,158
I think I'd be fuckin' terrified.
202
00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:36,494
Don't you dare belittle me!
203
00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:40,414
OK, you know,
204
00:09:40,498 --> 00:09:43,084
probably time for me to go, Ophelia.
205
00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:45,169
- Wait, don't.
- Thanks for the grub.
206
00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:47,588
Please. Please, don't.
207
00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:48,964
I'm sorry, Ophelia,
208
00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:52,343
but you're just
a wee bit too intense for me.
209
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:54,178
I know, I know.
210
00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:56,639
It's this lifestyle
that I've chosen for myself.
211
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,100
I'm so lonely.
212
00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:02,520
Well, I hate to say it, Ophelia,
213
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:06,023
but methinks you need to get laid.
214
00:10:06,107 --> 00:10:08,150
I think you're right.
215
00:10:08,192 --> 00:10:09,527
Well, that's so great.
216
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,862
Let me set you up with someone.
217
00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:13,447
What about Stu?
218
00:10:13,531 --> 00:10:14,532
Dude's a sweetheart,
219
00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:15,866
and he's hung like a fuckin' hog.
220
00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:17,034
And he's got big balls.
221
00:10:17,118 --> 00:10:19,620
Marcy, that is disgusting!
222
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:21,288
And he cheated on you.
223
00:10:21,372 --> 00:10:23,707
Yeah, he cheated on me, not you.
224
00:10:23,833 --> 00:10:26,377
You are not getting the point.
225
00:10:26,502 --> 00:10:29,338
I want you.
226
00:10:30,381 --> 00:10:32,842
OK. OK.
227
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,885
So you are a dyke.
228
00:10:34,969 --> 00:10:37,388
Why didn't you say so?
I am totally cool with that shit.
229
00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,723
I'm not a lesbian, Marcy.
230
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:43,227
I just love you.
231
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,730
Fucksticks.
232
00:10:46,856 --> 00:10:48,732
I want you to be my first, Marcy.
233
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:50,526
Aside from the Puerto Rican
who fouled my anus
234
00:10:50,568 --> 00:10:51,986
when I was 23.
235
00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:53,362
OK, that's
236
00:10:53,404 --> 00:10:55,573
really flattering, Ophelia.
237
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:57,241
And I've been with women.
238
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,076
And that can be really hot
and everything,
239
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:02,580
but I just don't think that you and me
240
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:05,040
have that kind of chemistry.
241
00:11:05,583 --> 00:11:07,877
Well, that's disappointing.
242
00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:09,545
So, you'll just spread your legs
243
00:11:09,587 --> 00:11:11,922
for every snake in the garden,
244
00:11:12,006 --> 00:11:13,591
but you won't even consider
245
00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:16,343
my precious flower?
246
00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:20,264
Yeah, pretty much.
247
00:11:20,389 --> 00:11:21,849
Sorry.
248
00:11:23,601 --> 00:11:25,769
Wait, Marcy, it's fine, it's fine.
It's fine.
249
00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:28,522
I understand.
250
00:11:28,606 --> 00:11:29,940
You do?
251
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:32,526
I'm glad. OK.
252
00:11:32,610 --> 00:11:35,446
OK, so, thank you for coming.
253
00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:36,780
OK.
254
00:11:36,906 --> 00:11:39,617
And let's do this again.
255
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:40,951
Sure.
256
00:11:41,035 --> 00:11:42,119
Thank you.
257
00:11:47,208 --> 00:11:48,918
I've got you, my darling.
258
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,713
For God's sake,
put them in the right order this time.
259
00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:53,923
Red, pink, red, pink.
260
00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:55,382
And you can just bend over,
261
00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:56,759
and you can plant those impatiens.
262
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:57,843
That's great.
263
00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,346
Maybe pull some of those weeds out...
264
00:12:00,471 --> 00:12:02,681
No, no, no, you need to leave now.
265
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,642
You are endangering
the sober happiness
266
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:07,269
of everyone... Richard!
267
00:12:07,311 --> 00:12:09,813
Gabriel, my dear boy.
268
00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,482
I feel like a child on
Christmas morning.
269
00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:12,650
Thank you so much, Hank!
270
00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:14,276
You're welcome, Gaby baby.
271
00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:16,028
We just need to go talk
to Atticus for a minute.
272
00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:17,863
- Yeah, sure, do whatever you want.
- Thank you.
273
00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:19,990
Come to papa.
274
00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:22,159
Come to papa.
275
00:12:32,962 --> 00:12:34,713
Yes.
276
00:12:35,381 --> 00:12:38,008
It's been too long, my friend.
277
00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:44,890
Now what?
278
00:12:47,476 --> 00:12:48,644
Hank!
279
00:12:48,686 --> 00:12:51,188
Hello, rapist. We meet again.
280
00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:52,356
Hey!
281
00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:54,483
Feed me some fucking inches, dude,
282
00:12:54,525 --> 00:12:56,694
right fucking now.
283
00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:58,654
Tweaker chick, be cool.
284
00:12:58,696 --> 00:13:00,030
What are you looking at, skank, huh?
285
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:01,198
You think you're better than me?
286
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,033
No, no, not better, just different.
287
00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:05,869
I'll poke your eyes out and do
a puppet show with your balls, bitch.
288
00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:06,996
That's sweet.
289
00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:09,039
Your mother sucks cocks in hell.
290
00:13:09,081 --> 00:13:11,041
I love you.
291
00:13:15,546 --> 00:13:17,673
We'd like to speak with you privately.
292
00:13:17,715 --> 00:13:19,216
Anything you have to say to me
293
00:13:19,258 --> 00:13:21,218
can be said in front of the group.
294
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:23,512
These people are my friends,
295
00:13:23,554 --> 00:13:27,016
fellow soldiers in the war
against substance abuse.
296
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:28,350
Not this.
297
00:13:28,392 --> 00:13:30,519
Then I'm afraid you won't
be talking to me today.
298
00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:51,040
Get off of me, you fucking fucks!
299
00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:52,916
- Stop, wait.
- This is so mean.
300
00:13:52,958 --> 00:13:54,585
Why are you doing this to me?
301
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:55,878
What happened to you, man?
302
00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:57,463
You used to be decadence incarnate.
303
00:13:57,588 --> 00:13:59,214
Yeah, well, look where that got me.
304
00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:01,425
My immortal beloved left me.
305
00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:02,968
No, she left you
because you wouldn't stop
306
00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:04,094
fucking other women.
307
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:05,763
The drugs made me do it!
308
00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:07,097
No, the drugs did not make you do it.
309
00:14:07,139 --> 00:14:08,766
You made you do it.
310
00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:11,226
Me made me do that.
311
00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:13,937
Me made me do it.
312
00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:15,606
Atticus, there is nothing wrong
313
00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:17,900
with a little recreational
occasional drug use
314
00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:20,944
or fucking anyone that wants
to fuck you right back.
315
00:14:21,070 --> 00:14:23,614
You are a rock star.
316
00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:26,408
You deserve it and more.
317
00:14:27,159 --> 00:14:29,078
You have my attention.
318
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:33,624
I've looked up to you
for years, Atticus.
319
00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,834
I'm quite possibly your biggest fan.
320
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:37,586
In fact, I was just about
to hit the road
321
00:14:37,628 --> 00:14:40,422
and follow you from show to show.
322
00:14:40,464 --> 00:14:41,799
This is not just about me.
323
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,842
Think of all the fans out there.
324
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:45,302
We have tickets to your shows,
325
00:14:45,344 --> 00:14:46,845
and we've been staying up late
every night,
326
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,306
wondering what it'll be like
to see you live.
327
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:51,517
What song will he open with?
328
00:14:51,642 --> 00:14:54,311
What will the stage look like?
329
00:14:54,353 --> 00:14:55,979
Well, I'm opening for Marilyn Manson,
330
00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:57,981
so it won't be as elaborate as usual.
331
00:14:58,107 --> 00:14:59,817
Hey, that's a killer double bill.
332
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:01,360
Technically we're co-headlining.
333
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:02,986
But he closes the show every night,
334
00:15:03,112 --> 00:15:04,530
which makes him the headliner.
335
00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:06,824
I remember when that
cocky teabagging motherfucker
336
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:08,325
opened for me.
337
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:09,993
Use this as an opportunity
338
00:15:10,119 --> 00:15:12,037
to show these kids how it's done.
339
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:13,497
Don't be a fucking quitter.
340
00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:15,165
It's unbecoming.
341
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:17,042
Call it a comeback.
342
00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:22,423
Child.
343
00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,968
Tell me, what song
would you like me to open with?
344
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:29,179
What would please you,
sweet, sweet child?
345
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,266
Step and Fetch it.
346
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,768
Step and Fetch it.
347
00:15:34,852 --> 00:15:35,853
Well, obviously.
348
00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:37,020
- Obviously!
- Obviously!
349
00:15:37,146 --> 00:15:38,355
Come on. That's a no-brainer.
350
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,941
You guys are making
a lot of sense right now.
351
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:42,776
I'm not sure if I'm ready to sacrifice
352
00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:45,112
my hard-won sobriety just yet,
353
00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:47,865
but we should talk further.
354
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:51,285
Over a glass of wine.
355
00:15:57,291 --> 00:15:58,709
What is it, pig?
356
00:15:58,834 --> 00:16:01,795
- Is Marcy here?
- No.
357
00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:03,338
Are you sure? Because...
358
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:05,215
She was here. She was, OK?
359
00:16:05,299 --> 00:16:07,050
She left 10 minutes ago.
360
00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:09,052
OK, well...
361
00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:12,181
Her car is still here.
362
00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:18,562
OK, I give up.
363
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:20,522
I'm done lying.
364
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:23,984
Come in.
365
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:26,069
You're not gonna
tase me again, are you?
366
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:28,405
No, of course not.
367
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:40,584
What is it?
I'm in the middle of something.
368
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:43,086
You have to see this
for yourself, sir.
369
00:16:45,589 --> 00:16:47,716
Can't imagine what the commotion is.
370
00:16:55,891 --> 00:16:58,602
Jesus on the Mount!
Somebody call the police!
371
00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:00,270
Nonsense, son.
372
00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:01,855
When in Rome.
373
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:06,360
Come on, Gaby baby,
374
00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:07,945
all the cool kids are doing it.
375
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:14,535
Hello.
376
00:17:14,618 --> 00:17:16,203
It's the right thing to do, Gabriel.
377
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:17,871
Just treat yourself.
378
00:17:17,955 --> 00:17:19,456
You've been a good boy, kitten.
379
00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:21,208
You've been a very good boy.
380
00:17:22,793 --> 00:17:25,212
Take a bite out of that peach.
381
00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:28,423
Let the juice dribble down your chin.
382
00:17:37,516 --> 00:17:38,934
Come on.
383
00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:03,792
Boys and girls, meet Ginger.
384
00:18:04,710 --> 00:18:05,794
Ginger!
385
00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:10,215
Eat my peach, blow on my dice!
386
00:18:17,723 --> 00:18:18,932
Marcy?
387
00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:21,310
Marcy, are you OK?
388
00:18:22,394 --> 00:18:23,562
Yeah.
389
00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:25,439
I'm fine.
390
00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:27,733
It's just I'm really pissed
at that crazy bitch.
391
00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:30,068
That tasing shit really fuckin' hurts.
392
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:33,530
I know, right? This is my third time.
393
00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:42,956
- Thanks for coming to get me, Runks.
- Of course.
394
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,124
I got your text.
395
00:18:44,207 --> 00:18:46,001
I really freaked out.
396
00:18:46,335 --> 00:18:48,003
Well, I guess with all this time
397
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:51,173
and all the punani in between,
398
00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:52,966
you still love me, huh?
399
00:18:53,050 --> 00:18:56,428
Yes, I do. Very much so.
400
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:02,768
And I guess I still love you,
you dumb fuck.
401
00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:05,395
Whoa, stop the clock! You do?
402
00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:08,231
After we called it quits,
403
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:10,192
things got all weird and pear-shaped.
404
00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:14,237
And then I took that crazy
fucking detour with Stu.
405
00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:15,697
And we had some good times,
406
00:19:15,781 --> 00:19:20,285
but nothing felt right ever since.
407
00:19:20,369 --> 00:19:22,496
That's exactly how I feel.
408
00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:25,666
And you're right, you know?
It was fun.
409
00:19:25,749 --> 00:19:27,709
Because, man, I mean,
some of the sex that I've had...
410
00:19:27,793 --> 00:19:31,171
Don't! Don't!
Don't press your luck, Charlie.
411
00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:32,673
Right, sorry.
412
00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:38,053
And this little piggy had none!
413
00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:42,182
No! No! No!
414
00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:43,350
Ophelia!
415
00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:45,727
Why the fuck did you chain me up
416
00:19:45,811 --> 00:19:47,187
next to this fucking worm?
417
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:49,147
You know that I hate his fucking guts.
418
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:52,818
Marcy, that's the spirit!
419
00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:55,696
You know what?
I was gonna fuckin' chop off
420
00:19:55,779 --> 00:19:58,323
his pathetic, little
fuckin' excuse for a penis
421
00:19:58,407 --> 00:20:00,951
and feed it to my cats.
422
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,411
But maybe you should do it.
423
00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:03,745
Yeah, maybe I should.
424
00:20:03,829 --> 00:20:05,455
I'll cut it off. I'll eat it myself.
425
00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:07,958
- OK?
- I got a better idea.
426
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:10,252
Let's make soup out of it.
427
00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:12,295
- Fuck yeah, cock soup!
- Yeah.
428
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:15,757
- Yeah, OK.
- Yeah, OK.
429
00:20:15,841 --> 00:20:17,926
OK, OK.
430
00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:20,554
- There you go.
- Yeah, OK.
431
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:22,431
That's great. That's really
432
00:20:22,514 --> 00:20:23,640
good!
433
00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:26,226
I'm not gonna cut his dick off,
434
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:27,686
you crazy bitch.
435
00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:29,354
And being a fucking feminist
436
00:20:29,438 --> 00:20:32,774
is not about castrating men,
you kooky cunt.
437
00:20:32,858 --> 00:20:35,277
It's about learning to coexist
438
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:37,070
with these dumb fucks.
439
00:20:37,154 --> 00:20:40,657
And sucking a dick
every once in a while
440
00:20:40,741 --> 00:20:44,411
is not about surrendering
your fuckin' she-ness!
441
00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:46,538
Which isn't even a word.
442
00:20:47,956 --> 00:20:50,459
And your books are unreadable.
443
00:20:50,542 --> 00:20:52,836
That was a very
beautiful speech, Marcy.
444
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:54,629
You're a very
strong and beautiful woman.
445
00:20:54,713 --> 00:20:56,506
And you should be fuckin' lucky
446
00:20:57,841 --> 00:21:01,470
you made any cash off of them at all.
447
00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:02,637
Fuck!
448
00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:04,681
That fuckin' hurts!
449
00:21:04,765 --> 00:21:06,558
Damn it!
450
00:21:08,185 --> 00:21:10,771
Jesus, that was fun.
451
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,858
- Oh, my God.
- Can I try?
452
00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:16,568
- No!
- What?
453
00:21:18,028 --> 00:21:20,739
OK, just once.
We don't wanna kill her.
454
00:21:21,323 --> 00:21:22,699
Just do one more.
455
00:21:22,783 --> 00:21:24,576
OK!
456
00:21:24,659 --> 00:21:25,911
- That is a lot of fun.
- It worked.
457
00:21:25,994 --> 00:21:28,121
- I'm gonna do it one more time.
- On the toe.
458
00:21:55,899 --> 00:21:57,150
I don't know.
459
00:21:59,402 --> 00:22:00,904
What happened to you guys?
460
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:05,242
Ophelia Robins chained me
461
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:07,285
to a radiator in my prannies.
462
00:22:07,410 --> 00:22:08,829
- Excellent, continue.
- What?
463
00:22:08,912 --> 00:22:12,249
And then Runks rescued me,
kinda, sorta.
464
00:22:12,332 --> 00:22:14,501
That is so romantic.
465
00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:16,753
- My man.
- I know, right?
466
00:22:19,172 --> 00:22:20,257
And we're getting married!
467
00:22:20,298 --> 00:22:21,675
- No!
- The Runkles!
468
00:22:21,758 --> 00:22:23,844
- Well, remarried.
- No, you're not.
469
00:22:23,927 --> 00:22:25,929
I need you on tour with me,
you motherfucker.
470
00:22:25,971 --> 00:22:27,639
- I thought the tour was off.
- Not any more.
471
00:22:27,764 --> 00:22:29,683
I'm back on drugs,
and I'm better than ever.
472
00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:30,934
Yeah, he is!
473
00:22:30,976 --> 00:22:33,770
I don't know what the fuck
I was thinking.
474
00:22:33,812 --> 00:22:36,314
So I will take a day off
to get remarried.
475
00:22:36,439 --> 00:22:39,109
No.
I'll tell you what I will do, though,
476
00:22:39,150 --> 00:22:40,819
for both of you,
477
00:22:41,152 --> 00:22:42,946
I'll fuckin' marry you fuckers.
478
00:22:42,988 --> 00:22:45,448
On the stage at The Greek!
479
00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:46,867
I'm a licensed minister.
480
00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:48,618
Of course you are.
481
00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:50,495
What do you think?
482
00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:52,372
Fuck, yeah! Why not?
483
00:22:52,455 --> 00:22:54,791
And then you can bring
your spunky, little fuck-bunny
484
00:22:54,875 --> 00:22:56,960
up on the road with us,
and I can finish eating
485
00:22:57,043 --> 00:22:59,462
that chocolate bar out of
her sweet, little, girly bits.
486
00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:01,298
- OK.
- It's good to be the king!
487
00:23:02,299 --> 00:23:03,884
- You guys are coming, right?
- What?
488
00:23:03,967 --> 00:23:05,135
On tour.
489
00:23:05,176 --> 00:23:07,053
We gotta keep writing this musical.
490
00:23:07,137 --> 00:23:09,222
I write incredibly well on tour.
491
00:23:09,306 --> 00:23:10,891
I find it inspiring.
492
00:23:10,974 --> 00:23:12,642
Sounds like an adventure.
493
00:23:12,726 --> 00:23:14,644
Think about it, and then say "Yes."
494
00:23:14,686 --> 00:23:17,647
I'm gonna go to bed and show
this dedicated fan girl
495
00:23:17,731 --> 00:23:20,984
what it's like to be penetrated
by a ginger god.
496
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:22,569
No, you are gonna see what it's like
497
00:23:22,652 --> 00:23:24,571
to get raped by a tweaker!
498
00:23:24,654 --> 00:23:26,698
- Watch that, shit's intense.
- Holy shit.
499
00:23:26,823 --> 00:23:28,241
One of us is gonna bleed tonight,
500
00:23:28,325 --> 00:23:29,826
and it ain't gonna be me.
501
00:23:29,910 --> 00:23:31,828
I can hardly wait.
502
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,509
I'm gonna miss you, squirt.
503
00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:49,012
I'll miss you too, Dad.
504
00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:51,097
- But it's time to go.
- Yeah.
505
00:23:51,181 --> 00:23:52,599
I need a change of scenery.
506
00:23:52,682 --> 00:23:53,892
I know that feeling.
507
00:23:54,017 --> 00:23:55,769
So hit the road.
508
00:23:55,852 --> 00:23:57,228
What's keeping you?
509
00:23:57,354 --> 00:23:59,022
The truth?
510
00:23:59,105 --> 00:24:01,107
I guess I'm always hoping
that your mom
511
00:24:01,191 --> 00:24:04,527
will take me back,
give me another chance.
512
00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:06,613
Maybe that's your problem, Dad.
513
00:24:06,696 --> 00:24:09,240
You see it as winning her back.
514
00:24:09,366 --> 00:24:11,534
But there's no winning in this game.
515
00:24:11,576 --> 00:24:14,537
You're not some white knight
on a steed.
516
00:24:14,579 --> 00:24:17,499
She's not some fairy tale princess.
517
00:24:17,540 --> 00:24:21,211
She's just as fucked up as you are.
518
00:24:21,252 --> 00:24:23,713
And just as incredible.
519
00:24:23,755 --> 00:24:24,881
You know what's funny?
520
00:24:25,006 --> 00:24:26,049
What?
521
00:24:26,174 --> 00:24:27,592
You talk a good game about living,
522
00:24:27,717 --> 00:24:29,177
loving, and fucking and fighting,
523
00:24:29,219 --> 00:24:30,887
but this whole time,
524
00:24:30,929 --> 00:24:33,598
I've only seen you with that guy.
525
00:24:33,723 --> 00:24:35,684
Troll doll.
526
00:24:35,725 --> 00:24:39,104
Yeah, I can't seem to scrape him
off my shoe.
527
00:24:39,229 --> 00:24:41,064
That's like the beginning
528
00:24:41,106 --> 00:24:44,442
to every great love story I know.
529
00:24:44,567 --> 00:24:46,778
He's one of the good guys, Dad.
530
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,032
He told me he loved me last night.
531
00:24:51,074 --> 00:24:52,450
Of course he did.
532
00:24:52,575 --> 00:24:54,452
What took him so long?
533
00:24:57,747 --> 00:24:59,416
Does she have any allergies
I should know about?
534
00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:02,919
Penicillin and lameness.
535
00:25:04,045 --> 00:25:06,423
I know I've failed to make
an excellent impression on you, sir.
536
00:25:06,548 --> 00:25:07,590
Yeah.
537
00:25:07,632 --> 00:25:09,759
But I really do enjoy your daughter.
538
00:25:09,801 --> 00:25:11,428
I'm sorry. "Enjoy" sounds dirty.
539
00:25:11,469 --> 00:25:13,430
And I do enjoy her in that way,
you know, like, sexually.
540
00:25:13,555 --> 00:25:14,597
No. No, no, no.
541
00:25:14,723 --> 00:25:16,266
But I'm really talking
about the other way, you know?
542
00:25:16,307 --> 00:25:18,727
Like, I love her brain.
543
00:25:18,768 --> 00:25:21,604
She's better than me,
and smarter than me.
544
00:25:21,646 --> 00:25:23,106
And I'd like to support
and nurture that
545
00:25:23,148 --> 00:25:25,775
for as long as she'll let me.
546
00:25:25,817 --> 00:25:28,778
Sorry, I guess this is just
my long-winded way of saying
547
00:25:28,903 --> 00:25:31,614
I'll take very good care
of your daughter, sir.
548
00:25:37,328 --> 00:25:39,456
I'm gonna miss you so much.
549
00:25:41,249 --> 00:25:42,792
You better, or I'll rip
that stupid fucking hair
550
00:25:42,917 --> 00:25:44,794
right out of your head.
551
00:25:47,088 --> 00:25:48,965
I'm so proud of you.
552
00:26:07,150 --> 00:26:09,444
Don't stand still.
553
00:26:09,486 --> 00:26:11,613
Keep moving.
554
00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:46,689
You wanna take a walk?
555
00:26:46,773 --> 00:26:48,191
No.
556
00:26:49,025 --> 00:26:51,778
I just wanna go back
to my empty nest and cry.
557
00:26:51,861 --> 00:26:53,696
- You want company?
- No.
558
00:26:53,780 --> 00:26:55,698
I think I need a solo cry.
559
00:26:55,782 --> 00:26:59,869
That sounds kinda
like code for rubbin' one out.
560
00:26:59,953 --> 00:27:03,206
I'm sorry, I'm just
trying to keep it light.
561
00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:07,502
I just can't believe she's gone.
562
00:27:07,544 --> 00:27:09,379
She's not really gone, Karen.
563
00:27:09,504 --> 00:27:11,005
She wants to be a writer,
564
00:27:11,047 --> 00:27:12,507
which means she's gonna be unemployed
565
00:27:12,549 --> 00:27:13,883
for the next decade.
566
00:27:13,967 --> 00:27:15,301
And then she's gonna have
to move back home
567
00:27:15,385 --> 00:27:17,220
with one of us, preferably you.
568
00:27:19,889 --> 00:27:21,224
Good.
569
00:27:22,392 --> 00:27:24,853
Watching her go,
I don't know, it kinda...
570
00:27:26,729 --> 00:27:29,065
It kind of feels like
the end of something.
571
00:27:30,733 --> 00:27:32,569
It makes you wonder.
572
00:27:33,403 --> 00:27:34,863
About?
573
00:27:38,908 --> 00:27:40,160
If she was the only thing
574
00:27:40,243 --> 00:27:42,537
that was still keeping us together.
39753
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