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1
00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:10,208
Previously on Californication...
2
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:11,401
He gave me a ride.
3
00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:12,720
Because I spent the night
at his place.
4
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,689
- What's his name?
- Ross.
5
00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:16,091
What's your poison?
6
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:19,841
Heroin. Coke. Booze, speed.
A little bit of everything, really.
7
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,446
And there's all the fucked-up
sexual shit that goes along with it.
8
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:24,770
How do you know
about Becca's thing tonight?
9
00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:27,770
We keep in touch. She's always
asking me questions about writing.
10
00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:29,723
She never asks me
questions about writing.
11
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,280
OK, hi.
12
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,368
I'm here to see Natalie.
13
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:35,601
Natalie's my wife.
14
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,644
Natalie said,
"Let the new designer in."
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00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:39,881
That's me.
16
00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:41,451
I don't want to twist your arm,
17
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,921
but I'd like to take your hand here
18
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,928
and shove it up my skirt.
19
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:50,651
If you're gonna die, wouldn't you
rather die with your dick in me bum?
20
00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:51,801
If I'm gonna die,
21
00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,287
I'm gonna die doing
what I was born to do.
22
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:55,401
This is it.
23
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:56,811
This is the moment
we've been waiting for.
24
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,723
I'm shitting genius right now.
25
00:00:58,800 --> 00:00:59,961
Hank! We gotta go!
26
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,924
Do you guys mind if I crash here,
do some writing,
27
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,485
maybe have a few people over?
28
00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:05,641
Whatever you need.
29
00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:06,801
Congratulations.
30
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,327
You have made it to the next round.
31
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,686
Home sweet...
32
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:29,445
Holy Moses.
33
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,161
What the fuck? Hank?
34
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,966
Jesus, guide me!
35
00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,171
All the furniture
is in the bedroom, Hank.
36
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:56,170
- Just the tip. Come on.
- No!
37
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,884
- Get a condom.
- Is that Becca?
38
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,082
Just like five seconds. Four seconds.
39
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,680
She looks good, Hank.
40
00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,362
- She's grown up.
- I'll kill you.
41
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,210
- She's very well-developed.
- I will fucking kill you.
42
00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:13,884
You know chlorine kills 99.9%
of the sperm, right?
43
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:15,160
It's true.
44
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:18,682
OK, fine. I'll get a condom, jeez.
45
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,607
- Hank! What's up?
- Hey, man.
46
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:23,561
Dad!
47
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,085
Hi, Becca.
48
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,011
You didn't have to hit him.
49
00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:15,646
No, I didn't have to. I wanted to.
50
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,250
He could sue you.
51
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,805
Yeah, but then I'd have
to cut off his dick
52
00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:20,490
- and feed it to the homeless.
- You know what?
53
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,126
I still haven't heard you say
you're sorry.
54
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:25,163
Am I sorry
for messing up Charlie's place?
55
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:26,645
Yes, of course,
and I will clean it up.
56
00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:28,967
But am I sorry for throwing
a killer party
57
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,686
and having an awesome time?
Absolutely not.
58
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,564
This is becoming a problem, Becca.
59
00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,642
- I'm not sure I agree.
- Give me that.
60
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,130
Great, now you have
to buy me a new one.
61
00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:41,321
- No, I don't.
- Fine.
62
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:42,805
Then you won't be able
to get in touch with me.
63
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,888
I could be holed up
in a crack den somewhere,
64
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,485
and you wouldn't be able
to track my iPhone.
65
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,329
I don't like you very much right now.
66
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,488
- Do you like her very much right now?
- No, I don't.
67
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:51,891
I don't see what the big deal is.
68
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,810
- You drink all the time.
- Not all the time.
69
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,241
- You smoke pot.
- When it's around. It's not like
70
00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,403
I have one of those magic
marijuana cards or anything, right?
71
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,369
Do you use cocaine?
72
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:06,363
I have experimented
with the drug you call cocaine.
73
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:09,245
A long, long time ago,
in a galaxy far, far away,
74
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,163
- in my misspent youth.
- That's a lie.
75
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:14,522
Well, sometimes it's important
to lie to children.
76
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,842
- This is not a very good talk.
- No, it's not.
77
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:20,288
Bottom line is you're making
some questionable choices right now.
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00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,840
Says the queen
of questionable choices.
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00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:26,282
Hey! Be respectful
of your mother's questionable choices.
80
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:29,091
Look, I respect you both. Always.
81
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:32,363
My home life has been chaotic,
to say the least.
82
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,846
But I've always kept it together.
83
00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,690
- You guys had it easy with me.
- Agreed.
84
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,200
But you can't expect us
to ignore the fact
85
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,089
that you're out of control right now.
86
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,247
Yeah, yeah, what she said.
87
00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,364
But I'm having so much fun.
88
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,084
I'm partying like a rock star.
89
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,531
OK, look,
enough of this jibber-jabber.
90
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:53,366
No more lectures.
Let's take this shit into the field.
91
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,209
Come on. Let's go.
92
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:10,247
What up, Runks? What is... What?
93
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,048
- OK, what the fuck is that?
- What... I'm sorry.
94
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:17,249
I'm sorry. Look, I just...
I had an experience recently...
95
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:18,924
Yeah, like a gay thing? I heard.
96
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,322
No, no, I'm totally straight now.
Didn't you hear?
97
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,131
No. I heard that you got fired again.
98
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,965
Well, yes, that was unfortunate.
But...
99
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,970
Are you trying to get out of your
child support payments or something?
100
00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:35,405
- Look, a bow.
- Is that... Stop it.
101
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,887
- No. No, never.
- Yeah.
102
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,486
God, I got a new job. A good job.
103
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:44,124
I do still wonder
why I have to pay you
104
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:47,488
to care for a child that you named
after your second husband.
105
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,881
That still does not sit well with me.
106
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,246
He's your son, Charlie!
107
00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:52,731
I know. I know.
And I love him to death.
108
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,484
And that's what
I'm here about, really.
109
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:58,007
Because I had
a life-or-death experience recently.
110
00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,924
And it really...
It clarified things for me, Marcy.
111
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,047
It focused things.
112
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:07,964
And I thought, I would really like to
spend the day with you and little Stu.
113
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,280
Well, that's great.
114
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,328
You're welcome
to spend the day with Stu,
115
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,323
and I will go shopping.
116
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,210
That works too.
Happy to lighten your load.
117
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:19,924
- What?
- I don't know.
118
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,048
I just know you're working
some kind of angle here.
119
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:26,284
No, Marcy, scout's honour.
I have no angle. I am angle-free.
120
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,966
That's bullshit, because we
all know your dick's all bent.
121
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:32,244
- Thanks for reminding me.
- That's what I'm here for.
122
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,402
Just keepin' it real, Runkle.
123
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,528
I'm just glad
you're thinking about it.
124
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,090
All right!
125
00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:40,524
Stuart!
126
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,683
I know all this partying
like a rock star stuff looks like fun,
127
00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:45,603
but this shit eventually turns on you,
you know?
128
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,250
You wanna know what
a real rock star looks like?
129
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,004
It ain't pretty.
130
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,165
Hank.
131
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:55,480
Friend.
132
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:58,207
I missed you.
133
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:00,771
And you brought your family with you.
134
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:02,683
- Yes.
- Is that your child?
135
00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:04,569
Becca.
136
00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,211
- Hello, child.
- Hi.
137
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:08,890
She speaks English.
138
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,760
- And Karen! Hello, Karen.
- Hey.
139
00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,161
I had a dream about you.
Did I tell you?
140
00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,323
I was standing on the stage,
and I spied you in the front row,
141
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,643
and I was enchanted
by your preternatural beauty.
142
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,326
So I focused all my energy on you,
143
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:28,246
and I made you have an orgasm
just by looking at you.
144
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,288
How do you know she wasn't faking it?
145
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:31,930
It was my fucking dream.
146
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:41,046
God. I'm feeling something.
147
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,248
- I think it's bouncing off...
- Shut the fuck up.
148
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:44,970
Come on,
I've got someone to introduce you to.
149
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,566
He's a big fan of yours and mine.
150
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:49,724
You see what I mean?
151
00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:54,287
Hank, Karen, child,
152
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,284
I would like you to meet
the poet and philosopher...
153
00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,728
- Holy shit, that's Marilyn Manson.
- Marilyn Manson.
154
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,290
We're talking
about doing a duet together.
155
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:07,489
Maybe a tour of the States.
That would be really something, eh?
156
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,881
I'm just here for the narcotics.
157
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:12,851
He kids.
158
00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:15,408
- Not really.
- He does drugs.
159
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,164
Hey, listen, I brought Becca here
because I want...
160
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,720
- Becca? Who's Becca?
- My daughter.
161
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,730
- The child.
- Yeah.
162
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,081
She's recently discovered
the joys of substance abuse,
163
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,924
and I want to disabuse her
of the notion
164
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,048
that it won't hurt her
in the long run, you understand?
165
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,082
Why would you do that?
166
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:31,525
Because I love her,
167
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:34,080
and I don't want her to OD
before she's of legal drinking age.
168
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,244
- Can you help a brother out?
- Absolutely.
169
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:40,602
I've done quite a few anti-drug PSAs
in my time.
170
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,768
Some of them sober even.
171
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,765
- Hank Moody?
- Marilyn Manson.
172
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:48,445
I'm a fan of your words.
173
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:53,445
I'd be honoured if you came
and did some narcotics with me.
174
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,042
This is so fucking cool.
175
00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,804
Yeah, it is fucking cool.
176
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:05,725
I know. I see you inside the mouth.
That's right. I know.
177
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,085
What the...
178
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,046
Braden! I'm so sorry.
179
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,043
- You're new here.
- Yeah, I am.
180
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,930
Yah, it kind of makes you
want to eat a shotgun, huh?
181
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:17,928
You said it, sister.
182
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:20,566
- I'm Tricia.
- Hi. Charlie.
183
00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,324
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
184
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:26,001
I'm Braden, Aiden, and Jaden's mom.
185
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:27,645
- Wow.
- Yeah.
186
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,641
You're making me feel lazy.
I just have the one.
187
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:34,441
Don't do that, Stewie.
No, not in your mouth! OK.
188
00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,290
- Are you married?
- Divorced.
189
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:39,846
- You?
- Married. 23 years.
190
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,644
- Really?
- Yeah.
191
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,082
You don't even look old enough
to be married that long.
192
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,650
Thank you. That's sweet.
193
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:49,001
Actually, my husband and I
are high school sweethearts.
194
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,969
- That is so cool.
- Well...
195
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,809
- And inspiring, you know?
- Don't do that. No.
196
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:56,049
- To make it work for so long.
- Yeah.
197
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,650
It's work. It is, actually.
198
00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,206
- It's hard work.
- I see you, Stu.
199
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,971
I don't know.
You gotta be just best friends,
200
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,530
and I don't know,
keep it fresh somehow.
201
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:06,846
- Absolutely.
- Yes.
202
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,684
You gotta tell me
your secret sometime.
203
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:11,811
Hey, would you want to get
the kids together for a play date?
204
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,245
- Yeah, sure, I guess.
- Yeah.
205
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:16,204
You put your phone number in here,
and I'll text you sometime.
206
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,321
OK.
207
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:19,001
- Here you go.
- Perfect.
208
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:29,000
I'm sorry. Is this from you?
209
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:32,411
Why are you apologising?
Just give me five minutes.
210
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:33,760
What about the kids?
211
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,766
Don't be such a fucking pussy.
They're fine.
212
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:43,131
Stewie, Daddy has to go...
213
00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:46,528
Just stay inside the dragon,
OK, Stewie?
214
00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:48,130
In the mouth.
215
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,887
I love doing drugs.
216
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,601
Hey, that sounds like
something you would say, Dad.
217
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,524
Yeah, as a joke, maybe.
218
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,770
Here's the thing, child.
219
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,087
Some of us are Keith Moon,
220
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,248
and some of us are Keith Richards.
221
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:08,930
And you don't know which one you are
222
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,567
until you end up in a coffin
or in an old people's home.
223
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,762
That's comforting. Thank you.
224
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:16,451
Here's something they don't tell you.
225
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:20,246
Rampant sexual behaviour,
drug use, etcetera...
226
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,328
You will end up with AIDS.
227
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,049
Well, no,
they do tell you that, actually.
228
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:29,091
Well, I wish they would have told me,
because I have AIDS, now.
229
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,689
I'm just fucking kidding.
Why are you guys so serious?
230
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,122
Christmas. I want AIDS.
231
00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:45,290
Should we just say
this whole thing backfired
232
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,368
and get the fuck out of here now?
233
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,444
Listen, Moody,
love your words, much respect.
234
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,124
But I like your taste in women better.
235
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:56,210
She's a handsome one, isn't she?
I had a dream about her last night.
236
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,647
I made her come
just by looking at her.
237
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,324
You guys aren't together
any more, right? So is it cool if I...
238
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:06,648
Do not start with me, Marilyn Manson,
or we will tussle.
239
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,644
You want to tussle with me?
Seriously, you wanna tussle?
240
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:11,085
- Tussle!
- I'll tussle with you.
241
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,242
Come on, Dad, don't fight
with Marilyn Manson.
242
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,881
- He's one of my heroes.
- Hear that, Dad? Fucking hero.
243
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:21,086
OK, OK, well, please, let's just steer
this shit back around, all right?
244
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,322
Now, I put it to the esteemed panel.
245
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,330
Is it possible to make great art
without killing yourself?
246
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,323
- I say, "Yes."
- Me too!
247
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:31,084
Totally possible.
248
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:33,686
But drugs just make it more fun.
249
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,443
I like this chick.
250
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,087
I need to urinate and possibly vomit.
251
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:41,011
- Come on.
- Here, look...
252
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:42,166
- OK, so this...
- Becca, come on.
253
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:43,566
Look, please, just stay here
254
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,284
and make sure
she doesn't ingest anything.
255
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,010
- Let's get the fuck out of here, now.
- Listen, listen.
256
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:48,684
- What are you doing?
- These guys are a fucking mess.
257
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:50,290
She's gonna get it. Eventually.
258
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,727
- Just let her... She will.
- She's loving it!
259
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,604
Mom, take a picture.
260
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,091
Are you kidding me?
261
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,406
- That you, Charlie?
- Yep.
262
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:07,251
- What took you so long?
- Well, I... You know...
263
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,722
I was in the ladies', sorry.
I guess I misunderstood.
264
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:12,370
Well, get on in here.
265
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,611
Tricia! Looking good.
266
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:19,444
All right, well.
267
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,367
Well, I gotta tell you,
this is already way better
268
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,169
than my last
naughty bathroom experience.
269
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,089
Don't call me Tricia.
I'm not Tricia right now.
270
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,690
- I'm Hannah.
- OK.
271
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,843
Is that like
a multiple personality thing, or...
272
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,604
No, silly. It's my website.
273
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,126
Yeah, Housewife Hannah?
You do know it?
274
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,725
- I don't think so.
- Funny.
275
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:40,280
- I took you for a big porn guy.
- I am.
276
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:41,407
Is it a pay site?
277
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:42,811
- It sure is.
- Yeah, that's what it is.
278
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,281
Cos I don't really like to pay
for my porn. It's a thing.
279
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:48,170
OK. Stop talking.
280
00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:51,244
I'm gonna need you
to film this for me.
281
00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:53,288
Film what, exactly?
282
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:55,089
I'm gonna suck your dick,
and you're gonna film it.
283
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,522
Then you're gonna give me
a big, messy facial.
284
00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,809
That's my thing.
That's what I'm known for, you know?
285
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,365
In fact, the messier the better.
286
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,841
Just get it all over
my glasses and shit.
287
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,445
That's what the fans love.
288
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,648
OK, this is a good shot right there.
289
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:10,487
You're gonna want to put this on.
290
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,125
- Really?
- Yeah.
291
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:13,770
I mean, you probably don't want
to show your face, right?
292
00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:16,002
- Probably not. Good idea.
- Yeah.
293
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,487
- But has anyone else worn...
- Put the fucking mask on.
294
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,762
- It doesn't matter. OK. Yeah.
- Just put the fucking mask on.
295
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:22,486
Chop, chop.
296
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:25,805
- OK.
- Like that?
297
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:29,049
- Does it look good?
- It's fine. All right.
298
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:30,485
- OK, you ready?
- Yeah.
299
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:32,125
All right, let's do this.
300
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:35,210
- Get that cock out.
- Yeah, that's a good idea.
301
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:39,649
- Yeah, and remember, on my face, OK?
- OK.
302
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:40,801
- You listening?
- Yeah.
303
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:43,286
- OK. Are you listening?
- Yeah.
304
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,169
- Yeah...
- OK.
305
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:49,571
Yeah!
306
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,006
Dude!
307
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:00,484
What the fuck?
308
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,804
My God, you just wasted your load.
309
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,002
You're supposed to shoot it
on my face.
310
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,520
Well, it's... The whole situation.
It's very exciting.
311
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,324
Do you wanna go again?
Cos I could do better.
312
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,404
No, no, forget it. Just get the fuck
out of here, you loser.
313
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,249
Give me my mask. Like, now.
314
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:18,569
God. Go!
315
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,567
You want to know the secret
to a good marriage?
316
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:26,241
Listen to her every once in a while.
Is that so fucking hard?
317
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:29,443
- Do you still wanna do the play date?
- No.
318
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:40,040
Hey, stud.
319
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,445
Oh, dear.
320
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,084
I knew you wouldn't stay away
for long.
321
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,248
Actually, I'm here with my daughter.
I brought her here
322
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:51,443
to teach her about the perils
of drug and alcohol abuse.
323
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:55,047
- How's that working out for you?
- Not well. Not well at all.
324
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:58,050
- Have you had the tour?
- I don't believe I have.
325
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:02,881
So many rooms.
So many nooks and crannies.
326
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,003
So many places
to curl up and get lost.
327
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,050
Well, I don't think
I'd wanna get lost.
328
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,243
You know? In fact, I should probably
get back to the war room
329
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:12,407
before somebody gets pregnant.
330
00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:14,045
- Hey.
- Yes.
331
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:17,124
Did you know Atticus collects
medieval torture devices?
332
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:21,211
No, I did not, but that revelation
does not particularly surprise me.
333
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:22,765
Do you know what
a breast ripper is, Hank?
334
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:28,207
No, I do not, but it's pretty
self-explanatory and nasty.
335
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,244
It tore to shreds the breasts
of women
336
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,124
that were convicted of adultery.
337
00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:35,527
Why, why?
Why ruin a perfectly good breast?
338
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:36,766
That doesn't make any sense.
339
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,771
You're sweet. Thank you.
340
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,041
No, no, no. I didn't mean yours.
341
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,923
You don't think they're lovely?
342
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,804
No, they're killer.
You've got beautiful cans.
343
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,764
It's just that, it's inappropriate
to talk about another man's breasts.
344
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,086
You know what I mean?
345
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,440
I'll decide what's inappropriate.
346
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:53,766
I am not sure that you should.
347
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,165
Touch 'em.
348
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:57,805
No, I'm good.
349
00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,922
Come on. You don't wanna touch them?
350
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:02,122
All right, maybe just...
Just one, just...
351
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,604
God.
352
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:10,080
It's just been so long
since I was groped by capable hands.
353
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:13,971
Karen!
354
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:15,570
Just a breast exam.
355
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,329
You know, checking for lumps.
356
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:20,964
I think you're OK. You should be fine.
357
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,241
I'll do the same for you.
Anytime, anywhere.
358
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:26,250
- You know I will.
- Yeah. So, Marilyn Manson's trying
359
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:29,489
to get your daughter and I
into a threesome right now.
360
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,363
That's my cue.
361
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:46,044
OK, Becca, I get it. I give up.
All right, this is way too much fun.
362
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,642
If I was your age,
and this was happening to me,
363
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:51,650
I would tell my parents
to fuck off and die too.
364
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:53,045
My father would punch me
in the mouth,
365
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,527
but that's another story, so...
366
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,210
- We're gonna leave.
- What? What?
367
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:58,845
We're gonna leave you
to have fun with your hero.
368
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,325
What the fuck are you talking about?
369
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:03,125
Mom, Dad, easy, come on.
I'm gonna take care of the girl.
370
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,891
Look at this face. Come on.
The girl's gonna be fine.
371
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,129
We're gonna make some S'mores,
and tell ghost stories,
372
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:10,571
talk about
our favourite serial killers.
373
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:13,047
I'll have her home by dawn, I swear.
374
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,446
Becca, take a picture
of me tea bagging
375
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:19,124
before he wakes up.
376
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,800
No more, Manson.
377
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:27,765
No more balls, Manson. Too many balls.
378
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,770
Get off me.
379
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,127
- Daddy?
- Yes, my boy?
380
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:35,330
Where did you go today?
381
00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:36,850
What do you mean?
382
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,884
You were in the bathroom
for a very long time.
383
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:45,164
Yeah. Those chicken fingers
gave Daddy a bad tummy.
384
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,282
I had to make big potty.
385
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,841
Good night, Mommy.
Good night, Daddy. I love you.
386
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,405
Buddy.
387
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:01,644
Good night, baby.
388
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,084
He's so happy.
389
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,561
Cos this is the way
it's supposed to be.
390
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,371
He should fall asleep
like this every night.
391
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:24,246
Yeah, that's a nice little fairy tale,
Charlie.
392
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:27,330
But it's not the reality of his life.
393
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,767
Maybe it should be.
394
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:33,162
Why can't we make it so for him?
395
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:40,049
Because the people who made him
396
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,606
weren't meant to be together.
397
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:46,730
- Are you sure about that?
- Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
398
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,570
I think I have the divorce papers
to prove it.
399
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:52,922
OK, you know what?
I've made certain mistakes, Marcy.
400
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,201
You've made certain mistakes.
401
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,204
Maybe it's time
we just get past all that already
402
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,611
and start to get real.
403
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:03,207
- Yeah, like it's just that easy.
- Well, maybe it is.
404
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,450
I still love you, Marcy.
405
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,804
What? Why are you telling me this?
406
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,649
I don't know. I don't know.
It just came out.
407
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:17,888
- Well, keep that shit to yourself.
- I can't.
408
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,327
Because when I feel something,
I like to express it.
409
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,602
Good for you.
410
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,484
But I'm done with you.
I'm done with Stu.
411
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,610
I'm done with men.
412
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:31,440
So, what, you're into women now?
413
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,090
No, you jackass.
414
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,849
Gross. Stop it.
415
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,404
You're gonna wake the boy.
416
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,883
OK, this is stupid. I can't stand it.
I'm going in!
417
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,724
Wait... Hold on a minute.
It's gotta be her decision.
418
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:01,847
No, I'm going in.
419
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:02,967
I know her. She'll be out in a minute.
420
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,008
What happens if he has abducted her,
421
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,321
and he is selling her
into sex trafficking?
422
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,971
He's a rock star, Karen,
not a sex trafficker.
423
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,923
He could be both.
424
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:13,530
Quick, let's go! He's looking for me.
425
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:15,523
He wants me to film him pooping
on Atticus.
426
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:16,681
That's my line.
427
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:17,841
That's my girl.
428
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,561
So, what have we learned today, folks?
429
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,484
I think we've learned
that some things never change.
430
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,609
Well, that sounds a bit pointed, lady.
What do you mean by that?
431
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,286
Everything I learned I already knew.
432
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:35,840
I know you guys love me.
I know you care.
433
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,686
I know drugs are good, and bad,
and dangerous, and fun.
434
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,809
I know those guys are lunatics.
I'm never going to be like that.
435
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,531
I'm just trying
to figure it out for myself.
436
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,204
And I know that's scary for you guys,
437
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,806
but you're just going
to have to trust me.
438
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,804
- Can you do that?
- I suppose so.
439
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,727
Well, you don't exactly leave us
with much choice.
440
00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:00,202
Great.
Well, I'm glad we got that settled.
441
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:01,691
I'm gonna hang in my room.
442
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,125
Security check.
443
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,443
Did you pack your bag yourself, ma'am?
444
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,482
- I see.
- What?
445
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,129
And that you can keep.
446
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:15,247
Really?
447
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:21,806
Good night.
448
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:25,123
I will make sure this goes
directly into police evidence.
449
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,404
- Nightcap?
- No.
450
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,051
- Recap?
- No. What? Recap what?
451
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:33,647
Your asinine plan
to educate our daughter
452
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,166
on the perils of drug abuse?
453
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:39,084
OK, well, maybe my plan
didn't go exactly according to plan,
454
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,481
but maybe it did.
Maybe I'm a fucking genius.
455
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,086
Or maybe we just went up there
so you could see her.
456
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:45,685
Who, Natalie?
457
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,406
God. Karen.
458
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,445
Why are you shitting where I eat?
459
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,648
- Well, that's disgusting.
- That's disgusting?
460
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:54,882
Like your hands all over her...
461
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,564
She practically forced me to do it.
462
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,483
- Really?
- Yes, and who am I to pass up
463
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,289
a perfectly pleasant boob grab?
464
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:01,600
It was my hostess.
465
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:05,162
It would have been rude
for a guest to... Are you jealous?
466
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,766
No. No, I'm not.
467
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:08,921
I'm pissed.
468
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,163
I'm pissed because you're screwing up
the only job I have right now.
469
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,720
Karen, the woman is
practically hurling herself at me.
470
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:16,529
She's unhappy, I guess.
471
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,682
You know, it's like a freak show
over there. Who can blame her?
472
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:22,560
And apparently, I'm a real man
from the real world.
473
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:24,561
Right.
474
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,849
So you're the perfect guy
to ease her pain and suffering.
475
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:28,967
It's not my fault.
476
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:31,691
It's like I emit
this strange kind of homing beacon
477
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:33,683
- for these malcontents.
- You're amazing.
478
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,161
No, no, and I don't want to have
anything to do with her, Karen,
479
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:37,321
which makes perfect sense,
480
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,528
because the person that I want
to have everything to do with
481
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:41,170
wants nothing to do with me.
482
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,241
Good. Well, we agree on something.
483
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,646
- Good night.
- Good night.
484
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,565
Oh, my God.
485
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,242
Ophelia is gonna be so pissed at me.
486
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:09,685
Ophelia!
487
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,961
We have sex
for the first time in years,
488
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:17,169
and this is the first thought
to cross your mind?
489
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:18,685
So?
490
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,129
How was it for you?
491
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,806
- It was OK.
- "OK"?
492
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,929
Well, that's a start, I guess.
493
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:33,450
It was familiar
in a not-entirely unpleasant way,
494
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:38,721
and you lasted almost long enough
for Mommy to get hers.
495
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,643
I know. How cool was that, right?
496
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,564
I think it's because I blew
some serious yolk already today.
497
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,290
Gross. Where?
498
00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:47,727
Here. In the shower.
499
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:51,209
- It's my daily ritual. You remember.
- Yes.
500
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,408
So how was the fucking Fun Zone?
501
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:56,681
I found it seriously frightening.
502
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,250
There was this one mom...
503
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,125
Tricia.
504
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:03,651
Yeah, how did you know?
505
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,604
Because everybody knows about Tricia.
506
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,291
She tries to fuck all the dads.
507
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:14,288
She's got this website.
It's called Housewife Hannah.
508
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:16,846
Wait.
509
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,129
- Did you do something with her?
- No.
510
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:21,650
God.
511
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:23,921
OK.
512
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:25,840
Here, check this out.
513
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:28,444
Oh, my God. Jesus!
514
00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:34,126
Look at that guy.
He's such a fucking tool.
515
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,010
Then you're gonna give me
a big, messy facial.
516
00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:39,361
- All over my glasses.
- Jesus.
517
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,530
I'd know
that bent fucking chode anywhere.
518
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:45,961
Nice.
519
00:25:57,800 --> 00:25:58,961
Dad.
520
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:01,405
Daughter.
521
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:06,405
- Is that what I think it is?
- It sure is.
522
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:09,324
- Would you mind taking a look?
- Of course.
523
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:11,524
I'd be honoured.
524
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,931
Whoa. It's quite the weighty tome.
525
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,729
Words, words, words.
526
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,847
Congratulations, sweetie.
527
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:23,208
You know, whether it's good, bad,
or somewhere in between,
528
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,608
this is a huge accomplishment. Huge.
529
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,603
Why would you assume it's bad?
530
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,923
Spoken like a true writer.
531
00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:39,203
- Are you OK?
- Yeah.
532
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,889
Just for a moment there, it was
533
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,243
like everything was all right
in the world again.
534
00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:49,203
Seemed like old times.
535
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:54,049
- I love you, Dad.
- I love you too, sweetheart.
536
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,930
- Be careful, OK?
- I will, Dad.
537
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:01,245
I promise.
538
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:11,925
And thanks for a great time today.
40740
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