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1
00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:10,003
Previously on Californication...
2
00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:12,123
- How's school?
- Dad, I told you. I'm not going.
3
00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:13,366
Working on a novel.
4
00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:15,010
What are you going to
fill a novel with?
5
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,447
Life. Love. Sex. Death.
6
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,170
What do you know about
any of those things?
7
00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:20,844
Move it along, groupie,
and take him with you.
8
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:22,445
You watch your tongue,
you filthy mongrel.
9
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:23,646
This is Faith.
10
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:26,127
Have a look
and grasp the cosmic importance
11
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,441
of this lovely, young lady.
12
00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:30,529
Without her,
there'd be no rock and roll.
13
00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:32,967
Tony talked about you all the time.
14
00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:37,329
He said you had an uncanny ability
to suck killer riffs out of him.
15
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,402
I'm sorry I was such a bitch.
16
00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:41,881
God, I'm so sorry
I fucked your husband.
17
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,606
But you haven't nailed it yet.
18
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:45,807
Cos I could be the hammer.
19
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,486
I'm in the middle of
an epic shit storm right now.
20
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,689
I fired my manager last week,
and I'm all out of cocaine.
21
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:54,531
Might you be in the market
for new representation?
22
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,529
If you can get me some Peruvian flake,
23
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,927
I'll maybe think
about throwing you in the mix.
24
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,365
Here you go, rock star asshole.
25
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:02,650
It'll be an honour
to work with both of you.
26
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,206
See you bright and early tomorrow...
27
00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,046
Afternoon.
28
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:22,407
Becca.
29
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:25,769
I think it's time, Becca.
30
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:27,526
For what?
31
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,921
Time you stop this funny business
and went back to school.
32
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,566
- No, I'm not doing that.
- What are you doing?
33
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,167
I'm living the life of an artist.
34
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,163
OK, I got it, but what does
that mean to you, exactly?
35
00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:41,886
Because there's a lot more,
little Missy, to being an artist
36
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,685
than just altering your consciousness
on a daily basis.
37
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:48,641
I know, which is why
I'm writing on a daily basis.
38
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,406
You are?
39
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:52,401
How many pages you got?
40
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:53,721
I'm closing in on three hundy.
41
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,649
- I'm jealous.
- I'm going to finish it, Dad.
42
00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:57,807
My first novel.
43
00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:59,041
I hate you.
44
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,089
Do you want to know
how many boys I've slept with?
45
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,004
Oh, no! No, no. That's disgusting.
46
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,886
I'm going through
an extremely slutty phase right now.
47
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:10,325
Will you do me a favour and take this
48
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,568
and just hit me over the head with it
as hard as you can?
49
00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,530
I won't get mad, I promise.
50
00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:16,483
- Stop.
- Just... Bang. Boom.
51
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:20,044
I just want to experience everything
while I still can, you know?
52
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,284
Every taste, every smell.
53
00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:26,041
Stop gagging.
You're not my father right now.
54
00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,328
You're my
artistic guidance counsellor.
55
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:29,607
You can't judge me.
56
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,046
Well, your mom, she can judge you,
57
00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,487
and she is judging you,
and she's worried about you.
58
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,961
She's got way too many issues
to handle this shit.
59
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:37,971
She thinks I'm headed down your path.
60
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:39,206
What's so bad about that?
61
00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:40,606
That's exactly what I said.
62
00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:43,126
That's my girl.
63
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,724
OK, well, I'm not judging you.
64
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,731
But, Becca, promise me
that you'll just keep it simple.
65
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:51,487
You know, get your drink on,
keep the pages coming,
66
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:54,928
smoke a little peaches and herb even,
but stay away from the hard stuff.
67
00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,086
And no more of that
tasting and smelling.
68
00:02:58,160 --> 00:02:59,924
That's disgusting.
69
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:01,646
What about blowjobs?
70
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,284
Hank! Hank! We gotta go!
71
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,051
Thank God.
Charlie, I will go anywhere with you.
72
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:10,281
You know why?
73
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:12,681
Because my daughter
is asking me about blowjobs.
74
00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:14,521
Where we off to?
75
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,331
Atticus needs you aboard Air Force 69
right this very now.
76
00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:19,010
That sounds exhausting.
77
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,801
He's like a retarded
rock and roll puppy, that guy.
78
00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:23,081
Will you blow him off for me?
79
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,606
No, I won't blow him off.
I can't do that. I won't do that.
80
00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,365
He's my biggest client, Hank.
I'm sorry, but he is.
81
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,371
- How many records have you sold?
- Are you wearing eye shadow, Charlie?
82
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:34,446
- Hello, Becca.
- Charlie.
83
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:35,965
I have to take your father
away from you now.
84
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:37,610
Take him. Get him out of my sight.
85
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,407
Do you guys mind if I crash here,
do some writing,
86
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,404
maybe have a few people over?
87
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:45,723
Whatever you need. I got alcohol.
I got pornography. I got Pictionary.
88
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:48,127
Have fun.
89
00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,730
No blowjobs.
90
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:45,087
Welcome aboard Air Force 69.
91
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:48,005
Where your every wish is our command.
92
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,487
- Really?
- Atticus makes us say this shit.
93
00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,408
But we will make out
with each other if you want.
94
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,207
OK.
95
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,125
Krull, the English danish.
What's shakin', magic mountain?
96
00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:07,483
Here, show me some love.
No love, no love.
97
00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:10,482
Kruller, this is Charlie Runkle.
98
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:13,411
I've got my eye on you,
the both of you.
99
00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:15,001
All right?
100
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:16,887
Good talking.
101
00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:30,361
Hank.
102
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:33,046
Thank you for coming.
103
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:35,127
Why am I here?
104
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,126
I've got nothing.
105
00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:39,566
What do you mean?
106
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,369
Do you know how much money
they're paying me
107
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,681
to write the music
for this bloody fucking thing?
108
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:44,847
No, I don't.
109
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,241
More money than you'll
ever see in your lifetime.
110
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,482
Hey, I've made a fair amount
of cabbage in my day.
111
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:51,005
How cute.
112
00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:53,567
Your proletariat hopes and dreams.
113
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,766
Do you know how many songs
I've written for this venture of ours?
114
00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:59,366
No, but why don't you tell me?
115
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:01,127
Zero.
116
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,484
Zero point zero fucking zero.
117
00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:07,161
- That doesn't sound good.
- It isn't fucking good.
118
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:09,720
- It's bloody terrible.
- It's also not true.
119
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,689
You played a song for me
at your party the other night.
120
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:15,328
I wrote that when I was 12 years old.
I was trying to recycle it.
121
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,090
That's probably why
it sounded so shitty.
122
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,571
Fuck you.
123
00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:21,570
Wasn't too shitty for the judges
of my year nine talent contest.
124
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,444
What am I doing here?
125
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:24,931
Hank.
126
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,610
I need you, Hank.
127
00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:29,889
I need to get at the heart
of this love story.
128
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,970
I need you to open a vein for me.
129
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,644
I've been rich and famous
for so long now
130
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,087
that I don't think I know
what it means
131
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:38,889
to be a human being any more.
132
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,971
You're real, Hank. You're a real man.
133
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:47,210
You're a man who loves a woman
who doesn't love you back.
134
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,528
She loves me back. It's complicated.
135
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,760
I love my wife. She loves me.
We're together.
136
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:55,842
- It's not that complicated.
- You fuck other women.
137
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:58,090
- That's different.
- How so?
138
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:00,844
Do you urinate, Hank?
139
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:02,771
Do you defecate?
140
00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,810
There are elements in the human body
that need to take flight.
141
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:07,211
Ejaculate's just one of them.
142
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,691
Right, that's what
masturbation is for.
143
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,087
No. Masturbation?
144
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,771
Masturbation's for the poor,
the downtrodden,
145
00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:15,444
the silent unfuckables.
146
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:18,603
I walk down the street
and women present themselves.
147
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:22,480
They want to extract my fluids.
It's an honour and a privilege, Hank.
148
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,643
What sort of asshole
would refuse such a kindness?
149
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,564
- What about your old lady?
- What about her?
150
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,286
- What about her needs?
- Wives are different.
151
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,170
They don't rub themselves raw
like we do.
152
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:34,760
They're ladies.
153
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:36,445
All right, well, you seem
to have it all figured out.
154
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,841
- I'll be on my way.
- No, please.
155
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,564
Please stay.
156
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:43,842
I am flying to New York
157
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:46,605
to play my music
for the Broadway producers.
158
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:48,081
But you have no music.
159
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,806
Which is why we need
to hammer the story out.
160
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,971
Once I know the story,
the music will pour out of me
161
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:58,880
like a chunky hailstorm of shit
after a night of Dutch curry.
162
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,006
Speaking of which,
163
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,401
I have got to drop the kids off
at the pool
164
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:04,925
before I soil my leathers.
165
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,207
These pants? $7,000.
166
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:08,771
It's good to be the king.
167
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,485
Make yourself comfortable, Hank.
168
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:15,168
There's pizza and cocaine
and apple juice.
169
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:16,487
Hello, sweetheart.
170
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:18,331
Hello, Hank.
171
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:19,805
Mrs Fetch.
172
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,004
Or perhaps I should say Mrs Fetching.
173
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:26,009
I've been wanting
to have a word with you.
174
00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:27,480
Regarding?
175
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,401
- An extramarital affair.
- Oh, my.
176
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,769
I know my husband
fucks around on the road.
177
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,205
You do?
178
00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,682
- But we have an agreement.
- Are you sure?
179
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,531
Well, we've never
actually discussed it,
180
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:41,446
but I have needs too, you know.
181
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,051
That's what I said.
182
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,963
I mean, that's totally understandable.
183
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,442
Would you like to take care
of those needs, Hank?
184
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:49,882
Me? Why me?
185
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:55,803
Cos this whole rock-and-roll
idiot man-child shit gets old.
186
00:08:56,400 --> 00:09:00,007
I need a real man from the real world.
187
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:03,127
Are you man enough
to be that real, Hank?
188
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:04,281
I don't think so.
189
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,727
I mean, in fact, you should speak
to my estranged better half.
190
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:09,963
She would tell you that I fall more
into the idiot man-child category.
191
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:11,963
Karen? She speaks the world of you.
192
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:13,166
- Really?
- Yeah.
193
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:14,481
That's sweet. What does she say?
194
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:15,841
Enough about Karen.
195
00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:18,444
Isn't it weird, though,
because she works for you?
196
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:21,205
I'm paying Karen to remodel my home.
197
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,881
If she thinks she can expect
more than a pay cheque
198
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,724
for her services, fuck her.
199
00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,404
All's fair, Hank.
200
00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:30,324
I see you and your husband have
the same twisted sense of entitlement.
201
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,004
It's actually kind of cute.
202
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,170
I don't want to twist your arm,
203
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,926
but I'd like to take your hand here
204
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,010
and shove it up my skirt.
205
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:42,805
Yum, yum.
206
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:48,203
You making a play on the boss's wife?
207
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:49,840
You've got no fucking shame.
208
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,570
Kruller, it is not what it looks like.
209
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:54,291
I'm just meat. Man meat.
You know how that goes.
210
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,647
- You know.
- Give me an excuse, pal.
211
00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:58,725
You won't even hear me coming.
212
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,761
I'll slice them fucking cheeks
wide open.
213
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,404
They'll be flapping about
like the sails on the HMS Bounty.
214
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:08,808
See what a fucking charmer
you are then, son.
215
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,086
What are you doing?
216
00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:18,162
What's it look like I'm doing?
I'm getting ready for take-off.
217
00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:19,765
What's wrong with you?
You're sweating like a pig.
218
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:22,805
You know what a nervous flier I am.
219
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:24,211
No, I don't.
I've never flown with you.
220
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,768
That's because I never fly, Hank.
It scares the shit out of me.
221
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:29,681
What's supposed
to keep this whole thing
222
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:30,886
from just falling into the ocean?
223
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:33,367
Well, for one, we're going
to New York. There is no ocean.
224
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,086
That's even worse!
225
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:36,321
Certain death!
226
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:37,925
OK, just buck up, buddy-boy.
227
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,968
This shit is too weird for me.
I'm out.
228
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,120
Hank. Hank! Hank.
229
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,001
Hey.
230
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:51,966
Hey yourself.
231
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,487
You just can't stay away
from me, can you?
232
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,001
What are you doing here, Hank?
233
00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:59,164
My presence was requested
by the king of Pop-Tarts.
234
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,129
- Same.
- I get it.
235
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,322
He's in the market
for a new muse, is that it?
236
00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:04,806
Who says I'm interested?
237
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,371
Well, you're here, aren't you?
238
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:08,565
Maybe I heard you were gonna be here.
239
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,127
- Maybe you did. Did you?
- Maybe.
240
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:12,841
Maybe I just came with a friend.
241
00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,887
Jesus Christ.
242
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,686
No, I've got it.
I've got it. I'm fine.
243
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:21,965
- Frank!
- Widow.
244
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,964
- Oh, call me Trudy.
- OK.
245
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,441
Beautiful. You had your dick
in me mouth, remember?
246
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,931
Of course. Who could forget?
247
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,486
He's got a nice rig on him, he does.
248
00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,884
He could foam the fucking runway
with that thing.
249
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:36,326
Good to know.
250
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,402
- So you guys are BFFs now?
- Yeah.
251
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,001
We've certainly
got a lot in common, no?
252
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,287
Both riding the same
disco stick and all.
253
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:48,285
Staying or going?
254
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,485
Staying or going, Hank?
255
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,046
All right, favourite Radiohead album.
256
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,640
That's easy. None of them.
That shit's way too cool for me.
257
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:03,324
- Fuck off.
- No.
258
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:04,606
All right, here's one for you.
259
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:10,205
Side two, track three,
Houses of the Holy,
260
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,449
by a little band they like to call
the Led Zeppelin.
261
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:16,287
No Quarter.
262
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,890
You're good. You are good.
263
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,406
You have no idea.
264
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,642
I inherited a dead uncle's
vinyl collection
265
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:27,721
and spent years in my childhood
bedroom just listening to records.
266
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:29,891
Is that all?
267
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:32,926
I will have you know, Hank,
268
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,367
that I was a very good
little Catholic schoolgirl.
269
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:37,321
Up to a point.
270
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:40,166
Are you trying to turn me on?
271
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,887
Have you given any further
thought to, you know, what...
272
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,041
To what?
273
00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:48,686
You know, you said you could
do something with me,
274
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,165
bring my best work out of me.
275
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,448
You said that you could be the hammer
276
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,007
that would help me to nail it.
277
00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:57,531
I'm not sure, Hank.
278
00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,367
Something tells me you're a little
more trouble than you're worth.
279
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,044
No, no, no, no, no, no.
280
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:06,722
I can wax on and wax off
with the best of them, Mrs Miyagi.
281
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,764
- Atticus would like a word with you.
- OK.
282
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:12,763
Not you, sweetheart.
283
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,281
I told you he wanted to get
in your knickers.
284
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,523
Well, it's not as easy as it looks.
285
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,409
Yeah, don't I know it.
286
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,923
Whoa. Groovy bedroom, dude.
287
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:29,930
This is not a bedroom.
This is my very own erotic chapel.
288
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,483
That doesn't sound
the slightest bit creepy.
289
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,405
- The answer is yes.
- Sorry?
290
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:41,646
I would very much like to enter
into a relationship with you,
291
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:47,047
one based solely on sexual pleasure
and the transference of inspiration.
292
00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:50,049
I'm sorry, Atticus,
293
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:51,851
but the answer is no.
294
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:55,641
Tony said that you
were like a miracle.
295
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,400
When you came into his life,
296
00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:01,889
he was blocked and bloated
and strung out on China White,
297
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,689
and two days later,
298
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,047
he had a double album's worth
of material.
299
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,561
I would very much like
to receive the same benefits,
300
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:13,291
in exchange for which
you will experience
301
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:16,489
first-class travel,
pharmaceutical-grade narcotics,
302
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:18,881
the occasional trinket,
303
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:23,205
and a solid 5.9 inches
of rock-star penis.
304
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:24,686
That's from taint to tip.
305
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,646
And it's the high end of average.
Don't believe what you read.
306
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,844
Wow, that does sound
like the deal of a lifetime.
307
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,805
But it's not really that simple.
308
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,042
Why is it not that simple?
309
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,841
OK. I'll buy you
a German automobile, but that's it.
310
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:41,889
Atticus, your wife is outside.
311
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:45,762
- Yes, but I slipped her an Ambien.
- What? That's awful.
312
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,001
Is it?
313
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,890
- Why?
- Cos you drugged your wife.
314
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,087
She loves drugs.
315
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:59,129
Look, I'm not actually used
to having to ask for sexual favours.
316
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:03,524
- Typically, they just come to me.
- I know. I do.
317
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:09,208
The thing is, when I throw in
with a guy, I go all-in.
318
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:10,766
That sounds delightful.
319
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,725
I need to know what we're
trying to accomplish here.
320
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,367
A rock opera.
321
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,607
About love.
322
00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,883
Great. All right. Play me something.
323
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,329
You're fucking joking, right?
I have to audition for you?
324
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:28,966
Do you think we'll make it?
325
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:32,089
His favourite place to play
was Madison Square Garden.
326
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,522
Atticus promised to get me in there.
327
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,803
I'm gonna spread his ashes
all over the fucking place.
328
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,764
Is that sanitary?
329
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,005
What are you so scared of, pumpkin?
330
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:46,605
It's just...
331
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,402
So unnatural, this flying.
332
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:53,804
What's the worst that could happen?
333
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:57,083
We end up fucking crumbs
in a jar, huh?
334
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,443
Big fucking deal.
335
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:03,162
We're all just dust in the wind,
you silly twat.
336
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,961
You remind me of my ex-wife.
337
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:10,685
You still love her?
338
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:14,321
Moments like these,
when I'm staring death in the face,
339
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,324
I realise I have a lot
of unresolved feelings for her.
340
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,928
Yeah, she is the mother of my child.
341
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:21,644
No, I'm sorry.
342
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:25,203
Well, I feel that my life
has deteriorated
343
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,805
ever since we broke up.
344
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,844
But I've had some
solid sexual experiences.
345
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:31,161
Right.
346
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,163
I've made some serious
deposits in the wank bank.
347
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,889
That's brilliant.
348
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,767
I'm still in love with her.
349
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,085
Come here.
350
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,683
Come here, little boy.
351
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:52,606
It's all right.
352
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,284
It's all right. I've been there.
353
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,964
- That's nice.
- Yeah, it's nice.
354
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,925
There he is.
355
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,806
There's your little winky.
356
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,330
Come on, now, wee willy.
357
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:26,683
Stand up and shout for Trudy.
358
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:31,844
Let Trudy tug all your troubles away.
359
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:34,566
There you go.
360
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:43,127
You're a speedy one, ain't you?
361
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:45,610
Good for you.
362
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,370
You got yours.
363
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,808
Rest up, pumpkin.
364
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,651
I might ask you to put it
in me bum later.
365
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:58,966
It's too small for the front
but just right for the back.
366
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:04,085
Tony was way too big
for that sort of buggering.
367
00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:07,406
Come on.
368
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,809
Why?
369
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:16,170
That's what's missing
in my life, you know?
370
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:18,688
Romance and longing.
371
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,405
What about Mr Fetch?
372
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,247
You can't long
for a cartoon character.
373
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:24,845
I mean, don't get me wrong.
374
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:29,482
He was a really sweet boy,
all heart and balls and swagger,
375
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,011
but that boy turned into a rock star,
376
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,448
and that rock star got
everything he ever wanted and more.
377
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,802
Eventually, he just lost touch
with reality.
378
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,210
I just...
I want to long for someone...
379
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,561
The way you long for Karen.
380
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,291
Jeez. OK.
381
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:52,891
Here we go.
382
00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:57,968
Come on. There you go, come on.
Let's do this.
383
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,448
You trying to skull-fuck
the missus now, are ya?
384
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,602
Kruller, this is so not
what it looks like.
385
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,607
- You're gonna enjoy this, aren't you?
- You have no idea.
386
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:13,730
Land this fucking plane
right fucking now!
387
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,167
Why? We're gonna crash, aren't we?
388
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,851
I want this pathetic
little slut off my plane.
389
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,531
This is my private aeroplane,
and I make the rules!
390
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,171
Why are we not landing?
391
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,084
Why are the landing gears
not coming down?
392
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:27,400
What did she do?
393
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:31,804
She was inappropriate with me,
with my wife on board, no less.
394
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:36,485
Is she alive?
395
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,164
She's fine. Go back to sleep.
396
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:40,964
It's just fucking bullshit.
He's clearly pissed off
397
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:42,280
cos I wasn't interested
in fucking him.
398
00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:45,887
I knew it.
I knew you were a fucking cow.
399
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:47,086
Hey, I thought we were friends.
400
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,565
No, no more!
401
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,842
Home-wrecker!
Home-wrecking fucking cow!
402
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,160
No, I don't buy that for a second.
403
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:53,844
I don't give a fuck if you buy it.
404
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:57,248
She's gone, and I'm gonna tell
the entire rock and roll community
405
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,965
that you have vagitosis and warts.
406
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,883
That is just fucking mean.
407
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,804
OK, land this fucking plane,
but if she goes, I go,
408
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,082
and you can finish
your fucking musical by yourself,
409
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:08,201
you spoiled ginger.
410
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,211
And get your house in order,
cos your wife is looking for strange.
411
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,087
All right, that's the second time
you've laid hands on me, broheme.
412
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:17,451
The first time, I totally deserved it
413
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,084
cos I wrecked your piano
and your cocaine,
414
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:22,329
but I did not deserve that pathetic
little bitch-slap just now.
415
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,640
You know what that calls for?
416
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:25,806
Titty twister!
417
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,084
Get him off me!
418
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,768
Oh, Jesus, Mary, Joseph!
419
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,326
Here we come!
420
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,090
Hank? Hank?
421
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:40,606
Hold me!
422
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,166
Settle down, Runks. If this is...
423
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,083
If this is it,
this is a good day to die.
424
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:50,809
Shit!
425
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,525
Jesus!
426
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,841
Tony!
427
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,442
Oh, no!
428
00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:15,124
Well, thank you
for standing up for me.
429
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,202
Sure, no problem.
I mean, who wouldn't?
430
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,209
Just because you're a groupie
431
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,601
and you've slept with
thousands of rocker dudes
432
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,444
doesn't mean you're not
a woman of virtue.
433
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:25,602
And I don't believe for a second
that you have vagitosis.
434
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,609
- Or warts.
- If you say so.
435
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,963
Go ahead, Churchill. Get in there.
436
00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:33,202
I don't know if I can.
I'm too freaked out.
437
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:34,361
Come on, Prime Minister.
438
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:37,000
If you're gonna die, wouldn't you
rather die with your dick in me bum?
439
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,409
Yeah.
440
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,245
Fuck this.
441
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:50,407
If I'm gonna die,
442
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,562
I'm gonna die doing
what I was born to do.
443
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,081
Wait. Dude, really?
444
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,043
Could you pick a more obvious song?
445
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,003
Fuck you! It's an homage.
446
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,731
Cameron Crowe was right,
and Elton John was a god.
447
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:42,929
Fuck. This is it.
448
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:44,610
This is the moment
we've been waiting for.
449
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,045
I'm shitting genius right now.
450
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,326
It's OK. She knows.
451
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:07,926
She knows you love her.
452
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,324
Yeah, I suppose she does.
453
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:19,891
Come here.
454
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:26,644
If this is really it,
455
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,491
then I want to spend
the last moments of my life
456
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,403
listening to great music
457
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:34,006
and making out with the cute guy
who just defended my honour.
458
00:23:35,120 --> 00:23:36,963
That sounds like
a reasonable request.
459
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:04,450
Fucking Christ!
460
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,881
I just had me an assgasm!
461
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:16,083
You're a bloody fucking
sorcerer, you are.
462
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,050
Terra firma.
463
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,521
Terra firma, motherfuckers.
464
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:36,681
Careful, Charlie.
465
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,525
There's bound to be a bunch
of rock star DNA on that floor.
466
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:40,931
I don't care, Hank.
467
00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:43,966
I don't care if I get
the mother of all cold sores.
468
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,441
And we are taking the train
back to Los Angeles.
469
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,564
- No, we're not.
- Why can't you ever indulge me?
470
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:56,088
Well, my friends, we did it.
We have a song.
471
00:24:56,800 --> 00:25:01,601
Jesus bloody Christ, woman,
you are a proper fucking muse.
472
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:03,371
Thank you.
473
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:10,968
And I'm deeply sorry
about my childish behaviour.
474
00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:15,249
I tend to get that way
when my manhood is assailed.
475
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:16,970
Fuck you.
476
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,448
- What the fuck?
- Hello, sweetheart.
477
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:21,641
Did you have a nice sleep?
478
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,961
- Did I take an Ambien?
- Yeah.
479
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,608
- Don't you remember?
- No.
480
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:28,961
Yeah.
481
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:32,120
Did you drug me again,
you fucking wanker?
482
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:33,921
Of course not.
483
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:35,844
Guess what, though.
While you were sleeping,
484
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,122
I wrote you a fucking song.
485
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:39,446
I'll play it to you back at the hotel.
486
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:40,800
- OK.
- Come on, darling.
487
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,969
- It'll be all right. OK.
- Shit.
488
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:04,682
I don't want to alarm you,
489
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,049
but you seem to have misplaced
your clothes.
490
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,521
I won't be needing them for a while.
491
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:11,165
So is it naked nap time?
492
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:15,007
Think I'm gonna hang back here
for a bit.
493
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:16,645
Really?
494
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:18,205
Cos that's New York City out there,
495
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,483
and I know like seven pizzerias,
all of them fantastic,
496
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:23,005
and we could hit every one,
497
00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:25,566
just one bite here
and one bite there and just...
498
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:27,569
Sounds yummy. Maybe after.
499
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,008
After. After?
500
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:32,848
I've been doing some thinking.
501
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,168
Some naked thinking.
502
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:37,011
Congratulations.
503
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,527
You have made it to the next round.
37463
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