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COMEDY CENTRAL DOES NOT CONDONE
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THE EXPERIENCES PERFORMED.
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AND DOES NOT ENCOURAGE THEM,
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ENJOY.
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>> **
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[CHEERS]
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**
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[CHEERS]
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NO NO.
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[CHEERS]
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**
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>> **
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[CHEERS]
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.
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>> **
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[CHEERS]
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**
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[CHEERS]
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**
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>> **
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>> **
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>> **
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>> **
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[CHEERS]
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**
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[CHEERS]
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**
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[CHEERS]
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**
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>> THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A
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MOOSE TRIES TO RIDE A BULL.
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I'M NOT A FASHION ICON, JUST A
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SIMPLE TASTE MAKER.
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THE DUMBER I LOOK, THE MORE
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EXPENSIVE IT IS.
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THIS VEST IS STUFFED WITH BABY
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PENGUIN FEATHERS.
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>> TONIGHT, THE ARTISTS, AND, WE
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SAY GOODBYE TO FOOTBALL.
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NOW, GO BACK AND WATCH THAT
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WOMAN RIDE THE DANGEROUS MAY A
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JER FOR YOUR WHO WHO.
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[CHEERS]
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.
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>> WHAT'S, AIN'T THAT SOME
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MECHANICAL PLEEP BLOAP.
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>> WELL THAT'S WHAT SHE GETS FOR
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IGNORING YOU MUST TO ATTRACTIVE
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TO RIDE.
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I'M NOT WEARING GOGGLES.
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STILL HIGH FASHION.
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HERE'S A SIGN YOU'RE READY FOR
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THE SEX TALK.
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>> **
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>> **
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>> THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT WAS
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GOING ON IN EVERY LATINO
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APARTMENT.
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>> EVERY BOY GOES THROUGH A
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PHASE WHERE HE GYRATES HIS
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FAMILY.
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IF GRANDMA DIDN'T WANT TO BE SEE
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DEFEND.
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SHE WOULDN'T HAVE WORN HER BLOAP
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BLOAP MUHAMMAD ALI.
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>> COME ON, THIS IS -- I START,
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AND FINISH ON GRANDMA.
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>> YOU CAN TESTIFY WHILE YOU
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DRIVE BUT, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO
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FILM YOUR WIFE GIVING BIRTH TO A
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BABY.
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>> HEY, VAGINA GOT CAR SICK.
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THAT PURPLE THING DIDN'T CALL
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SHOTGUN.
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AND THAT'S WHY I NEVER PICK UP
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HITCHHIKERS.
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>> YOU CAN TELL THAT SHE'LL BE
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AN EXCELLENT MOTHER.
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>> THERE'S A REST STOP IN TWO
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MILES, WHERE YOU CAN FLUFF HIM.
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>> TRUE POT HEADS, WILL SMOKE
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ANYTIME AND, OUT OF ANYTHING.
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>> **
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>> **
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>> **
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>> **
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>> **
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>> ** I'M GOING TO GET YOU HIGH.
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>> WELL, PUFF FAST.
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>> AND THAT'S A GOOD WAY, AND
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GET YOU OMEGA FEES.
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>> AND I TURNED HER OFFICE, INTO
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AN ASWEAR REYOU MEAN.
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>> **
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>> **
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>> **
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>> **
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>> **
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>> **
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>> ** DO YOU HEAR THAT MUSIC?
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>> SHOOT.
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>> **
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>> **
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>> **
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>> BUT, WE SHARP, TONIGHT, BOYS.
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>> GOOD SHOT.
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>> THAT WAS JUST AN EXCUSE TO
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BUY HIS RAID HE I DON'T
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CONTROLLED FISH.
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>> YOU KNOW WHAT KEEPS YOUR
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STAFF ON THEIR TOES.
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>> WHO WANTS TO SEE A GUY BUST A
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NUT?
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[LAUGHTER]
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>> OH, NO.
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>> WHAT KIND OF MAGICAL
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SWEATPANTS HAVE A FLY.
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[CHEERS]
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**
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[CHEERS]
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**
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>> OH, NO.
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>> THAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN YOU
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MAKE YOUR TRAPS WITH THE LONDON
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CHEESE.
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OR YOU CAN SEE THIS BECAUSE OF
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THE PLUR, AND IF YOU WANT TO SEE
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HOW TAUGHT AND SHAVED HIS ESCROW
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TUM IS.
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>> WHAT'S NEXT?
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>> **
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>> **
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>> **
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>> **
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>> **
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>> **
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>> **
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>> **
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>> TALK ABOUT THE BEST SEAT IN
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THE HOUSE, LET'S RAMP UP TO THIS
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BREAKDOWN.
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>> **
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[CHEERS]
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**
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[CHEERS]
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**
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>> THAT IS ARCHITECTURE, IN HELL
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HELSINKI CONCERT.
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HOW DID THEY TRICK THOSE PEOPLE,
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TO BUY A TICKET?
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>> MY LEGS DON'T WORK.
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[LAUGHTER]
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>> WHEELS IN THE PIT.
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AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO HAVE
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THOSE PENCE FOR THE CRIPPLED?
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>> I THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO,
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LEGALLY.
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>> AND JUDGING BY THE FED DOE
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RAR, AND, I WOULD KNOW.
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[LAUGHTER]
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>> I DON'T THINK THAT STAGE DIVE
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WAS PLANNED.
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AND YOU GUYS ARE TOP-HEAVY.
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[LAUGHTER]
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>> YOU VUF BEEN STRAPPED IN, NOT
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WEARING A SEATBELT IS HOW HE GOT
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HIMSELF IN A MESS IN THE FIRST
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PLACE.
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>> STILL HOLDING UP A CHAIR,
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AND, TRYING TO STEP ON HIS
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FINGERS AND, YOU CAN STILL TEAL
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THOSE, AND, PROBABLY CRAWLING
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INTO A CONCESSION STAND, AND,
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THEY'RE DOING A BENEFIT, THANK
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YOU.
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[CHEERS]
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.
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>> WE'LL BE BACK WITH THE ART
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TEACHER, AND COVER YOUR EARS,
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AND, THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE
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WORLD'S LOUDEST SCREAM MER.
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>> THIS IS ROGER, IN CANADA, WHO
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I THINK IS THE LOUDEST SCREAM
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MER.
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GO AHEAD.
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SCREAM SCREAM.
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>> IF THAT'S NOT THE LOUDEST
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SCREAM THAN I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT
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IS.
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>> ONE MORE TIME.
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**
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>> HOW TO DRAW AN A ANT, GIVE IT
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ANTENNAS,.
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[LAUGHTER]
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EVEN THOUGH THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE
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THAT.
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FOR A CARTOON, STINGRAY.
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AND MAKE A LITTLE TAIL.
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AND, GIVE IT TO EYE'S TOP AND
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THOSE ARE TWO MORE SEA CRE E
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CREATURES TO ADD.
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FIRST PART, IS JUST THE BODIES,
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JUST SHAPED LIKE THAT.
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TAIL OR WHATEVER THE HELICOPTER
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CALL IT.
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[LAUGHTER]
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>> THAT'S IT.
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>> PROPELLER.
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>> IT'S MOVING VERY FAST, AND
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MAKES A LOT OF MOTION LINES.
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YEAH, AND THERE WE HAVE IT.
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>> THE MARTIN'S ACT HAS GOTTEN
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FUNNY.
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>> HE'S LEFT-HANDED AND DOESN'T
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KNOW IT.
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>> WHY DOES PAINTING STILL
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EXIST?
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>> I REMEMBER WHAT MY
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GIRLFRIEND'S TITS, LOOK LYING.
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AND, THE PARTY IS A SCAM.
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IT'S A PICTURE OF A FAT CHICK
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THAT HIS FRIEND CARL BROUGHT
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HOME FROM A BAR.
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>> ANDY WAR HOLE BECAME A STAR,
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AND I'M A PROGRESS SO MAN.
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SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT
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ART AND, SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED
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TO GLANCE ALONG WITH THE
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CAREERS, AND, PLASTIC SURGEON
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THAT MAKES HER APPEAR SEM ME
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BANGABLE.
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>> YOU'RE NOT GOOD AT ART.
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BUT, INSTEAD OF TELLING MAT TO
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GET A JOB, WHAT BROUGHT HIM TO
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L.A.
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WHERE EVERYONE IS AN ARAT THIS
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TIME.
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[CHEERS]
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.
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[CHEERS]
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.
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>> WE WANT TO MAKE THIS.
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A LITTLE MORE DOE PRESSING.
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WHAT BETTER WAY DO THAT, A LOT
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OF PEOPLE WERE HUNG IN THIS
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TREE, AND, A LOT OF HATE.
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LOOK AT THAT.
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[LAUGHTER]
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>> MAKE THAT TREE, NICE IS SAD.
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[LAUGHTER]
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>> PUT A LITTLE BARRED UP THERE.
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>> MIGHT BE A PELICAN WILL.
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>> THAT'S NOT A FAD BIRD.
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WE'LL PUT A DEAD BIRD.
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WHAT THE BLEEP BLOAP, AND YOU'RE
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SNEAKING UP ON AN ARTEST.
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ARE YOU AN ARTIST?
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>> YES.
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>> PROFESSIONALLY TRAIN.
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HE NO.
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>> SO YOU'RE NEVER BEEN TO ART
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SCHOOLS.
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NO.
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>> WHAT IS ART?
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>> ANYTHING THAT SOMEBODY FINES
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PLEASING AS ART TO THEM.
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>> WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS AND
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WEAKNESSES?
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>> I CAN MAKE ANYTHING LOOK
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GOOD, AND, MY WEAKNESS IS
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HELICOPTERS.
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>> PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT THOSE
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VIDEOS WERE?
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>> I WAS TRYING TO MAKE A COUPLE
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OF BUCKS AND, MAKE AS MANY FAST
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CLIPS AND, ANYBODY CAN BE AN
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ARTIST.
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>> HE CAN'T DRAW AT ALL AND I
279
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,600
NEVER HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DRAW.
280
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:06,100
>> I WAS PROBABLY THINKING OF
281
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:08,700
YOU, AND, I WAS MILDLY
282
00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:09,270
IMPRESSED.
283
00:10:09,267 --> 00:10:10,327
>> THERE YOU GO.
284
00:10:10,333 --> 00:10:12,403
>> WHAT GOT YOU INTERESTED IN
285
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:12,900
ART?
286
00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:15,770
>> MY DAD AN ART TEACHER.
287
00:10:15,767 --> 00:10:17,827
>> OH, MY GOOD INNINGS.
288
00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:19,833
>> BEING THAT HE WASMENT TO
289
00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:24,803
TEACH, I THINK HE WOULD FINAL TO
290
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:28,900
BE ACCEPTABLE.
291
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:30,900
>> HOMOSEXUALLY, IS RAMPANT IN
292
00:10:30,900 --> 00:10:32,230
THE COMMUNITY.
293
00:10:32,233 --> 00:10:37,173
>> WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE?
294
00:10:37,167 --> 00:10:42,827
>> I LIKE CLAY AND, DID YOU EVER
295
00:10:42,833 --> 00:10:44,633
TAKE CERAMICS?
296
00:10:44,633 --> 00:10:48,833
>> I MAKE VASES, BOWLS, COMES,
297
00:10:48,833 --> 00:10:50,633
AND.
298
00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:52,233
>> BONGS?
299
00:10:52,233 --> 00:10:53,073
>> NO.
300
00:10:53,067 --> 00:10:54,697
NO BONGS.
301
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:56,800
SOME PEOPLE WILL USE IT, BUT IT
302
00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:00,770
IS LIKE HAVING A KICK PEDAL FOR
303
00:11:00,767 --> 00:11:02,927
YOUR COFFEE MAKER MANY.
304
00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:06,833
>> I DON'T THINK THERE WAS EVER
305
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:07,603
ONE.
306
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:08,400
>> THANK YOU FOR CHANGE THAT GO.
307
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,400
>> BUT IT IS CLEAR TO HE MONTH,
308
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,730
THAT YOU ARE A TALENTED ARTEST,
309
00:11:11,733 --> 00:11:14,173
AND TONIGHT, WOULD HAVE A
310
00:11:14,167 --> 00:11:16,197
GALLERY OPENING.
311
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:16,700
>> REALLY?
312
00:11:16,700 --> 00:11:18,400
>> I HOPE YOU HAVE SOMETHING
313
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,070
NICER TO WEAR.
314
00:11:20,067 --> 00:11:22,067
>> HEY, DANIEL.
315
00:11:22,067 --> 00:11:23,567
>> THANK YOU FOR COMING.
316
00:11:23,567 --> 00:11:27,067
>> AND A FEW PERSPECTIVE BUYERS.
317
00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:28,567
AND, SOME WINE.
318
00:11:28,567 --> 00:11:30,767
THIS IS YOUR NIGHT.
319
00:11:30,767 --> 00:11:33,797
>> SO, YOU'RE ADMIRING A GOOD
320
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:34,370
ONE.
321
00:11:34,367 --> 00:11:36,497
>> IT'S CALLED JESSICA SIMPSON.
322
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:39,200
I COULD NOT THINK AFTER MORE
323
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:42,130
ACCURATE PORTRAYAL.
324
00:11:42,133 --> 00:11:43,273
ENJOY.
325
00:11:43,267 --> 00:11:45,297
[CHEERS]
326
00:11:45,300 --> 00:12:00,770
THIS ONE IS THE WORD ART, ART.
327
00:12:00,767 --> 00:12:01,427
[LAUGHTER]
328
00:12:01,433 --> 00:12:04,173
>> ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS?
329
00:12:04,167 --> 00:12:08,597
>> THE COMMENTARY AND THE MASS
330
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:09,200
TRANSIT.
331
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:10,700
>> LET'S TAKE A BUS.
332
00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:11,270
[LAUGHTER]
333
00:12:11,267 --> 00:12:13,067
>> YOU CALLED THIS ONE,
334
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:15,227
SEPTEMBER 10TH, BECAUSE WE WERE
335
00:12:15,233 --> 00:12:25,373
ALL SO INNOCENT THAT DAY.
336
00:12:25,367 --> 00:12:32,497
>> THIS ARTIST IS UP IS SAYSED WITH
337
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:34,700
JESSICA'S OBESE ATY.
338
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:37,300
>> I HAVE THEM ALL LUBED UP, AND
339
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:39,330
NOW, SHOW THEM WHAT YOU ARE
340
00:12:39,333 --> 00:12:40,973
CAPABLE OF?
341
00:12:40,967 --> 00:12:42,797
>> LET'S DO THIS.
342
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,370
>> OKAY.
343
00:12:45,367 --> 00:12:48,897
>> ATTENTION, I GIVE YOU MATT.
344
00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:50,970
[CHEERS]
345
00:12:50,967 --> 00:12:52,127
.
346
00:12:52,133 --> 00:12:53,103
>> **
347
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:53,670
>> **
348
00:12:53,667 --> 00:12:54,127
>> **
349
00:12:54,133 --> 00:12:54,803
>> **
350
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,770
>> **
351
00:12:56,767 --> 00:12:59,067
>> **
352
00:12:59,067 --> 00:13:12,127
>> **
353
00:13:12,133 --> 00:13:16,303
>> GOOD LUCK ON THIS, KID.
354
00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:17,170
[APPLAUSE]
355
00:13:17,167 --> 00:13:17,897
>> I'M GOING TO START THE
356
00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:22,330
BIDDING AT 100,000.
357
00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:24,603
I'M GOING TO TAKE 50.
358
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,670
WE'LL GO TO PLAN B.
359
00:13:27,667 --> 00:13:29,727
>> **
360
00:13:29,733 --> 00:13:32,173
>> **
361
00:13:32,167 --> 00:13:37,227
>> **
362
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:37,903
[APPLAUSE]
363
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:40,270
>> THAT'S MY FAVORITE PART ABOUT
364
00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:41,597
ART OPENINGS.
365
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:44,270
HOW HORNY THEY MAKE ME.
366
00:13:44,267 --> 00:13:46,197
>> WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, BUT THIS
367
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,170
GUY WAS DEALT AN AMAZING HAND.
368
00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:50,267
>> **
369
00:13:50,267 --> 00:13:52,327
>> **
370
00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:59,173
[LAUGHTER]
371
00:13:59,167 --> 00:14:03,067
SHIEWSES ARE MY FAVORITE, AND
372
00:14:03,067 --> 00:14:06,397
TODAY, IS MY VERY LONG BOWL,
373
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:09,070
UNTIL ABORTION ENDS.
374
00:14:09,067 --> 00:14:13,727
>> I'M GOING TO GIVE UP DPREJ
375
00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:14,303
FRIES.
376
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:17,900
>> I WILL NOT KILL MY NETFLIX.
377
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,930
>> AND, SMALL, GO, BUT WOULD HE
378
00:14:19,933 --> 00:14:28,373
HATE ABORTION, SO, I AM GIVING
379
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:34,067
UP MY I-POD AND, ALL PORTABLE
380
00:14:34,067 --> 00:14:34,927
PLAYERS.
381
00:14:34,933 --> 00:14:36,773
>> I TELL YOU ANOTHER THING,
382
00:14:36,767 --> 00:14:40,367
THEY GAVE UP, BEING FUN TO HANG
383
00:14:40,367 --> 00:14:43,397
OUT WITH.
384
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,600
>> I'M A HUGE, HUGE FAN OF
385
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:47,100
ABORTION.
386
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:48,970
I LOVE IT.
387
00:14:48,967 --> 00:14:51,067
>> IF ONLY FOR THE REASON THAT
388
00:14:51,067 --> 00:14:55,597
IT CREATES JOBS AND, I WOULD BE
389
00:14:55,600 --> 00:15:00,800
RAISING 15 KIDS, AND RANDOM WEST
390
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:01,400
CITIES.
391
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:05,370
>> I RESPECT THE OTHER SIDE, I
392
00:15:05,367 --> 00:15:07,797
DON'T BELIEVE THAT GIRL IS GOING
393
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:13,100
TO GIVE UP, LIFTING HER I-POD.
394
00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:15,470
>> HELLO, GOOD TO BE HERE.
395
00:15:15,467 --> 00:15:18,597
>> HOW MANY ABORTIONS HAVE YOU
396
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:19,300
HAD?
397
00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:22,900
>> I HAVE HAD ZERO.
398
00:15:22,900 --> 00:15:24,230
>> HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU DON'T
399
00:15:24,233 --> 00:15:25,303
LIKE IT?
400
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:28,170
>> I KNOW IT'S A TRAUMATIC
401
00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:28,827
EXPERIENCE.
402
00:15:28,833 --> 00:15:30,733
>> WHAT WERE THEIR NAMES?
403
00:15:30,733 --> 00:15:33,303
>> I'D RATHER NOT SAY.
404
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:37,130
>> SAY IT.
405
00:15:37,133 --> 00:15:40,073
>> WHAT IF YOUR DOCTOR TOLD YOU,
406
00:15:40,067 --> 00:15:43,497
THAT YOUR BABY WOULD BE UGLY.
407
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,900
>> I LOVE UGLY PEOPLE.
408
00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:49,170
>> ARE YOU AGAINST IT, WHEN
409
00:15:49,167 --> 00:15:52,927
PEOPLE ARE REQUIRED TO ABORT A
410
00:15:52,933 --> 00:15:53,803
MISSION.
411
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,170
>> COMPLETELY UNRELATED.
412
00:15:55,167 --> 00:15:57,127
>> I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I PUT
413
00:15:57,133 --> 00:15:57,773
IT.
414
00:15:57,767 --> 00:15:59,597
>> PROBABLY, IN ONE OF THOSE
415
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:00,630
DRAWERS.
416
00:16:00,633 --> 00:16:01,303
[LAUGHTER]
417
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:03,970
>> WHAT KIND OF M.P.3 PLAYER DO
418
00:16:03,967 --> 00:16:06,167
YOU HAVE?
419
00:16:06,167 --> 00:16:08,297
>> IT WAS AN I-POD.
420
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,070
[LAUGHTER]
421
00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:10,927
>> FIND THAT, AND THEN YOUR
422
00:16:10,933 --> 00:16:13,973
STAMP ON ABORTION.
423
00:16:13,967 --> 00:16:15,697
>> HOW LONG DO YOU KEEP THIS UP?
424
00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:18,700
>> IT WILL NEVER BE ILLEGAL TO
425
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:22,200
ABORT A CHILD IN CALIFORNIA.
426
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:23,970
>> I BELIEVE THAT IT WILL BE
427
00:16:23,967 --> 00:16:24,727
ILLEGAL.
428
00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:28,733
WE'RE A PRO-LIFE COUNTRY, AND, I
429
00:16:28,733 --> 00:16:32,603
THINK, WHEN I-PODS WILL CARRY
430
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:33,100
IT.
431
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:34,530
>> WHAT HAS ABORTION EVER DONE
432
00:16:34,533 --> 00:16:36,273
TO YOU?
433
00:16:36,267 --> 00:16:39,897
>> WELL, ONE OF MY SISTERS WAS
434
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:40,470
ABORED.
435
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:41,427
>> WERE YOU CLOSE?
436
00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:44,503
>> I'M KIDDING.
437
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:48,070
>> IT'S A COMEDY SHOW BUT IT'S A
438
00:16:48,067 --> 00:16:49,297
SERIOUS TOPIC.
439
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:52,270
>> DO YOU HAVE ANY NORMAL
440
00:16:52,267 --> 00:16:53,327
FRIENDS?
441
00:16:53,333 --> 00:16:54,833
[LAUGHTER]
442
00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:55,373
>> JOSEPH.
443
00:16:55,367 --> 00:16:57,727
HE'S MY FRIEND.
444
00:16:57,733 --> 00:16:58,703
>> HEY.
445
00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:01,700
>> THEY MADE, ABORTION.
446
00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:04,070
>> SO YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FOR
447
00:17:04,067 --> 00:17:05,797
MA'AM FRIENDS.
448
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:10,570
>> DIET COKE AND I GAVE UP COCA
449
00:17:10,567 --> 00:17:11,127
COLA.
450
00:17:11,133 --> 00:17:13,803
>> IT WASN'T FUN IF YOU SAID
451
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,270
COKE ZERO.
452
00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:17,227
>> YOU SAID GIVE SOMETHING UP.
453
00:17:17,233 --> 00:17:19,603
>> TOO LATE, I ALREADY HAVE.
454
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:22,630
LET'S SHOW MY VIDEO.
455
00:17:22,633 --> 00:17:24,503
DANIEL HERE, I KNOW I'M KNOWN
456
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:26,070
FOR CLOWNING AROUND.
457
00:17:26,067 --> 00:17:28,427
BUT, I WOULD LIKE TO GET SERIES.
458
00:17:28,433 --> 00:17:31,573
UNTIL ABORTION ENDS I PLAN ON
459
00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:33,867
GIVING UP MY FREQUENT ABORTION
460
00:17:33,867 --> 00:17:37,497
CARD AND, I'M TWO ABORTIONS
461
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:40,600
AWAY, FROM GETTING A FREE
462
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:41,230
AWORKING.
463
00:17:41,233 --> 00:17:44,373
SO YOU KNOW HOW SERIOUSLY MANY.
464
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:46,967
>> DO YOU MIND TAKING THIS.
465
00:17:46,967 --> 00:17:49,567
>> I GET DOUBLE STAMPED FOR LATE
466
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:50,797
TERM.
467
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,100
[LAUGHTER]
468
00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:55,670
>> HOWEVER YOU FEEL ABOUT
469
00:17:55,667 --> 00:17:56,227
ABORTION.
470
00:17:56,233 --> 00:18:00,303
I CANNOT RECOMMEND MULLIGANS,
471
00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:20,200
TELL THEM ROSA SENT YOU.
472
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:20,870
[LAUGHTER]
473
00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:21,867
>> HIGH FASHION.
474
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:24,567
NEXT WEEK WE CELEBRATE
475
00:18:24,567 --> 00:18:27,167
VALENTINE'S DAY, BY GIVING A
476
00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:30,597
WEDDING RECOMESTION.
477
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:40,970
[LAUGHTER]
478
00:18:40,967 --> 00:18:43,397
>> YOU DIDN'T SEE WHERE THE
479
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:44,800
SCORPION SHOWED UP.
480
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,600
AND, VEGAS, AND, MIRAGE, AND,
481
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,070
TICKETS ARE ON SALE.
482
00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:52,927
AND I STILL HAVEN'T WATCHED
483
00:18:52,933 --> 00:18:55,473
WATCHED THE SUPER BOWL.
484
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,697
AND, THEY FLEW TO THE BIGGEST
485
00:18:57,700 --> 00:18:58,370
GAME.
486
00:18:58,367 --> 00:19:04,127
AND, ELI'S HORSE WAS THERE, AND,
487
00:19:04,133 --> 00:19:06,073
SECURITY DROPPED THE BALL WHEN
488
00:19:06,067 --> 00:19:10,497
SOME HIDEOUS WOMAN, WHO STARTS,
489
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:12,830
IT, AND, DON'T SAY YOU WATCH FOR
490
00:19:12,833 --> 00:19:15,373
THE COMMERCIALS.
491
00:19:15,367 --> 00:19:17,227
AND YOU SHUSH ME TO HEAR WHAT
492
00:19:17,233 --> 00:19:21,133
THE PLANTERS PEANUT TO SAY.
493
00:19:21,133 --> 00:19:23,373
>> CONGRATS ON THE GIANTS, COULD
494
00:19:23,367 --> 00:19:25,467
NOT BEAT THE REDSKINS WAS THE
495
00:19:25,467 --> 00:19:27,867
BEST TEAM IN THE WORLD.
496
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:29,127
[LAUGHTER]
497
00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:31,833
>> TRULY AN INSPIRATION.
498
00:19:31,833 --> 00:19:34,833
HE PROVED REALLY HARD, AND YOUR
499
00:19:34,833 --> 00:19:39,173
OLDER BROTHER, BREAKS HIS NECK.
500
00:19:39,167 --> 00:19:43,427
YOU CAN SUCCEED.
501
00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:44,373
>> LET'S TAKE A LOOK BACK, AT
502
00:19:44,367 --> 00:19:47,067
THE EYES OF THE MOST PASSIONATE
503
00:19:47,067 --> 00:19:51,167
AND EMBARRASSING FANS.
504
00:19:51,167 --> 00:19:51,667
>> **
505
00:19:51,667 --> 00:19:53,397
[CHEERS]
506
00:19:53,400 --> 00:20:02,670
**
507
00:20:02,667 --> 00:20:03,727
>> **
508
00:20:03,733 --> 00:20:04,303
>> **
509
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:05,070
>> **
510
00:20:05,067 --> 00:20:06,097
>> **
511
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:06,730
>> **
512
00:20:06,733 --> 00:20:08,473
>> **
513
00:20:08,467 --> 00:20:10,897
[LAUGHTER]
514
00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:12,500
>> OKAY.
515
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:13,330
OKAY.
516
00:20:13,333 --> 00:20:13,803
>> VISIT.
517
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:14,400
[LAUGHTER]
518
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,770
>> I HATE THIS.
519
00:20:16,767 --> 00:20:20,827
[LAUGHTER]
520
00:20:20,833 --> 00:20:21,433
[LAUGHTER]
521
00:20:21,433 --> 00:20:22,873
HEY, BAD.
522
00:20:22,867 --> 00:20:24,267
OH, NO.
523
00:20:24,267 --> 00:20:27,497
>> NO, NO.
524
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:28,170
[LAUGHTER]
525
00:20:28,167 --> 00:20:31,197
>> OH, BOY.
526
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:34,470
>> AND, GET [BLEEP] OUT OF MY
527
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:35,167
HOUSE.
528
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:37,567
AND I DON'T I DON'T WANT TO HEAR
529
00:20:37,567 --> 00:20:40,567
ANYTHING FROM ANY OF YOU.
530
00:20:40,567 --> 00:20:42,667
[LAUGHTER]
531
00:20:42,667 --> 00:20:45,327
>> **
532
00:20:45,333 --> 00:20:47,503
>> THE PLAYOFFS.
533
00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:48,430
>> **
534
00:20:48,433 --> 00:20:49,073
>> **
535
00:20:49,067 --> 00:20:50,297
>> **
536
00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:51,470
>> **
537
00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:52,897
>> WHOA!
538
00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:54,530
**
539
00:20:54,533 --> 00:20:56,403
>> ** CHOU!
540
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:57,100
**
541
00:20:57,100 --> 00:20:58,570
>> **
542
00:20:58,567 --> 00:20:59,627
>> **
543
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:00,603
>> WHOA!
544
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:01,130
**
545
00:21:01,133 --> 00:21:03,103
>> **
546
00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:03,930
>> **
547
00:21:03,933 --> 00:21:06,703
>> ** THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR,
548
00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:08,630
GOODNIGHT, MAYAN GENCE.
549
00:21:08,633 --> 00:21:09,533
>> **
550
00:21:09,533 --> 00:21:10,203
>> **
551
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:10,730
>> **
552
00:21:10,733 --> 00:21:11,373
>> **
553
00:21:11,367 --> 00:21:12,097
>> **
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