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CLARKSON: Last year, Richard Hammond
and I set off from Venice
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00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:31,959
on what should have been
the perfect road trip.
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00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:33,439
(LAUGHING)
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00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:36,159
We always had
the right car for the right road.
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What a machine!
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The sun shone when we wanted it to...
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Look at this now.
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...and the rain came when we didn't.
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(LAUGHING)
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It was brilliant.
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Right up to the moment
when the French Constabulary
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00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,639
took away our driving licences.
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00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,879
Oh... Right.
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So, this year with the lesson learned,
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00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:03,279
we thought we'd do
the perfect road trip again.
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00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,759
And this time we'd get it right.
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00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,119
(OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
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00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,199
Do not adjust your set.
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00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,839
I know this how we began last year,
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00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:26,319
on a Riva Acquarama,
the world's best speedboat.
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In Venice, the world's best city
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-that's built on a sea.
-Yeah.
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But there are some major differences
between what you saw
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00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:36,839
last year and what you'll see this time.
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00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,959
Firstly, he's even fatter.
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00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:40,239
-Oh, I am.
-He is.
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And secondly, we have completely
changed the route.
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Oh, yeah. This year we are not
going to France.
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Because frankly, they are...
Well, they're a bunch of...
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00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,279
(OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
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Instead we shall be staying in Italy,
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God's personal racetrack,
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00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:02,159
going from Venice down through Tuscany
and Rome
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00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:05,359
and along the spectacular Amalfi Coast.
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00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:09,959
And the cars we'll be using will be
even better than they were last year.
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00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:15,559
Faster, harder, louder.
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00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:20,839
We'd even arranged to finish on the
glittering jet-set island of Capri
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00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:24,079
in a couple of classic Ford Capris.
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00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:29,119
Nothing could go wrong this time.
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(HORN HOOTING)
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00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:34,759
Frankly, the roads we've lined up
this year are biblical.
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Well, they're not biblical,
they're more modern than that,
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00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:38,359
but they are magnificent.
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And the cars we have to drive on them...
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So, there is a whole exciting, thrilling
bag of things we've got lined up.
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00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,079
But one thing we haven't put in it...
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Is James May.
James May. He's not here.
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00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,399
Which is what really makes it perfect.
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00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:51,919
You lose Captain Slow.
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00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,559
We can go with the sort of speeds
they like in Italy.
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00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:56,199
And I have one extra thing,
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00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,079
one extra little piece
of perfection this year...
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-Oh, here we go.
-...to go with the perfect road trip.
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00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,839
No, critical, for the first time ever.
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Food, we're abroad.
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00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,999
Ordinarily, I pretty much starve
or survive on crisps.
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This time, for the first time,
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00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:10,919
not only am I going to be able to eat
foreign food,
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00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,599
I'm gonna love it
because we are going to Bologna,
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home of spaghetti Bolognese,
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00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,399
my favourite food in the world.
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Bologna. Bolognese.
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I'll be able to eat like a local
and love it.
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(OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
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CLARKSON: Soon, we docked the boat
and were ready to meet the cars
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00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,399
we'd chosen
for the first leg of the journey.
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00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:35,279
Richard would be using the brand new
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00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:39,559
5.2-litre V10 Lamborghini Hur�can,
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00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,999
the long-awaited replacement
for the Gallardo.
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00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,279
And I'd be using this.
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00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,359
The equally new McLaren 650S,
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00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:54,679
which comes with a twin turbo
3.8-litre V8.
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00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:59,359
Now, you're probably sitting there
wondering why neither of us
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00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,239
has chosen to use a Ferrari 458.
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00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:06,279
And that's a good question
because it is a magnificent car.
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00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,719
-It is. But it has one massive flaw.
-Mmm.
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-James May owns one.
-He does.
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He does and he has completely ruined it.
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Nobody would want to buy
Ferrari 458 now.
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00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:18,399
-No.
-Nobody.
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00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,919
I do not want to drive to Bologna
in James May's car.
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00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,079
No, it would be like going there
in his underpants.
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00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,039
-It would ruin the experience.
-It's worse.
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00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:30,439
Whereas in these,
our immediate future is bright.
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Our immediate future is orange.
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Very, very orange.
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00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:38,919
Ya-ha-ha!
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00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:40,679
(ENGINE ROARING)
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What a noise!
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00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:48,359
James May thought long and hard
about buying a McLaren.
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00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:52,519
But then he realised it was much quicker
than the Ferrari, so of course,
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being Captain Slow,
he'd want the Ferrari.
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00:04:55,440 --> 00:05:00,359
And that was the old MP4-12C,
that was what he was thinking of buying.
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00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,799
This is the 650S and this...
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00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,239
This is a different animal.
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00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:13,159
This looks more aggressive than the 12C.
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00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,239
It's got some technology from the
P1 in it and much
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00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,999
to the annoyance of those
who did buy a12C,
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00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,599
this is a hell of a lot faster.
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00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,799
I have at the control of my right foot
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00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:32,159
641 brake horsepower.
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00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:37,039
I have 500 torques and all that means
I can go from 0-60
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00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,759
in 2.9 seconds.
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00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:47,199
The 12C was three seconds faster
round the Top Geartest track
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00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:51,119
than a Ferrari 458.
This... Oh, this is...
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00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,759
Jesus wept, that's quick!
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00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:59,239
When we talk about super cars
and then hyper cars,
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00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,399
this is hyper car speed, it really is.
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00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:10,319
And yet, like the 12C,
it's unbelievably comfortable.
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00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:14,679
It is like driving around in a cloud.
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00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,319
Because all the wheels
are connected electronically
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00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,199
rather than with anti-roll bars,
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00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,839
there's no physical connection
between them.
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00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,519
And that means
when one wheel goes over a bump,
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00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,959
it feels it, but none of the others do.
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00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,399
That's why you just glide along.
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00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:36,759
What this means is that you can go
faster and harder for longer.
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00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:43,799
Which means that pretty soon
you'll have to stop somewhere
119
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,159
so your colleague can catch up.
120
00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,079
(BELL TOLLING)
121
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,239
-Shut up!
-I haven't said anything yet.
122
00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:56,399
Yeah, but I know
what you're going to say.
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00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,519
You're gonna go on about
how your car's faster when it's...
124
00:06:58,600 --> 00:06:59,639
It is.
125
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,159
HAMMOND: That'll do 202 miles an hour.
126
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,039
CLARKSON: The McLaren will do 207.
127
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,519
It's more powerful,
it's got more torque, it's lighter...
128
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,999
There's no point even discussing speed,
and I wasn't going to.
129
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:11,679
I was going to say...
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00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:16,279
I don't think your car looks very nice.
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00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:18,919
-HAMMOND: No. What?
-It doesn't.
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00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,279
Because it doesn't look very nice?
133
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,319
Look at it, it's all angles and...
It's beautiful.
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00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:27,599
Look, I will concede, reluctantly,
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00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,199
it's not as visually exciting
136
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:32,199
as some Lamborghinis are
when they're first launched.
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00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,319
-It should be.
-Deny that the back of your car
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00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,679
still looks like the back
of a vacuum cleaner.
139
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,479
It looks like something on a shelf
in an electronic...
140
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:39,839
It does, it does.
141
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,999
I... Listen, I'm not saying
that the McLaren is perfect,
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00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,239
but it's more perfect than that is.
143
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:49,199
I want you to stop talking now
because there's a danger
144
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,399
-I might agree with you a tiny bit.
-(MUMBLING)
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00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,799
And I don't wanna do that. What I do
wanna do is drive my Lamborghini.
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00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:54,879
Right.
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00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:08,639
All right, I will concede
that the McLaren is a very good car.
148
00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,919
But in the real world, this is better.
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00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,559
It's the things you can't see
that make the difference.
150
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:16,759
The turbo in the McLaren
is carbon fibre.
151
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,039
Very strong, very light, very good.
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00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:22,319
But you ding it,
basically you're gonna need a new car.
153
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:27,479
The tub in this is a blend of
carbon fibre and aluminium
154
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:29,279
which is easier to repair.
155
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,759
This interior, it's superb.
156
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,759
This has had proper thought put into it.
157
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:37,239
Things are where they should be,
there's no confusion and what's what
158
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,199
just for the sake of how it looks.
159
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,959
And all of the electronics
now come from Audi.
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00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,679
Which means they work.
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00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:48,079
There's a device which shuts down
the engine at a set of traffic lights.
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00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,119
And there's four-wheel drive.
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00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,079
But don't think that
they've made it all sensible.
164
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,639
Oh, my God! (ENGINE ROARING)
Listen to that.
165
00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,839
(TYRES SQUEALING)
166
00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:06,159
It's got the same
5.2-litre V10 as in the Gallardo.
167
00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:09,279
It's got a new top-end
and a new exhaust system.
168
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:11,799
A point that makes itself clear
as soon as you put your foot down.
169
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:14,519
Yay!
170
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:30,959
(CHUCKLES)
171
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:35,119
It's got the same
flappy paddle DSG gearbox
172
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,799
as you get in the Audi R8.
173
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,119
Which is very good news,
because that's one of,
174
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,439
if not the best, gearbox in the world.
175
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:43,599
Instant!
176
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,959
And I've got a button here.
It's the ANIMA button.
177
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:49,199
That's Italian for animal.
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00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,399
I bet Hammond is sitting
in his Lamborghini now
179
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:57,079
talking about animals.
180
00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:01,039
'Cause he doesn't know that ANIMA,
which is what the button's called,
181
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,159
in Italian, means "soul".
182
00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:04,359
And there's three different modes,
183
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,919
so I'm guessing
they're like different animals.
184
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,399
The soft one is probably a hare,
fast but quite fluffy.
185
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:13,319
And then you can go for the middle one,
that's maybe a cheetah.
186
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,479
And then the really angry one
is a tiger. I'm going tiger.
187
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,959
If you push it,
it just firms up the dampers.
188
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:22,639
It doesn't turn the car
into an elephant.
189
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,719
It has nothing to do with animals.
He's a blithering idiot.
190
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,199
There are times,
pushing on like this when
191
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,119
the Hur�can feels more like a sports car
192
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,919
than a super car,
and that is a compliment.
193
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,279
Because what I'm saying is
it feels more like something you can use
194
00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,879
and drive hard rather than a bauble.
195
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,959
The steering is superb.
196
00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:49,959
God, this thing is good.
197
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:53,599
It's still a Lambo.
This is still exciting.
198
00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:58,519
CLARKSON: With Hammond now very happy
199
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:02,359
that the Hur�can was behaving
as a true Lamborghini should,
200
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:06,559
we headed into one of Italy's
least well-known treasures.
201
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:14,479
Bologna. Home to two basketball clubs,
202
00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:17,959
the seventh busiest airport
in all of Italy
203
00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:22,519
and this, a magnificent piece
of 17th century architecture
204
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:26,359
that I knew
Hammond was dying to find out about.
205
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:33,039
Pay attention, Hammond. This is the
longest portico in the world, okay.
206
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:34,999
It's four kilometres.
Goes all the way from
207
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:37,599
this part of Bologna
to a church at that part,
208
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:40,879
and it's so people could go to church
without walking in the sun.
209
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,119
I'm not interested.
210
00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:46,519
666 arches and would you like to know
211
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,719
why they chose the number of the beast?
212
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:52,399
No. What I'd like to know is
where I get my spaghetti Bolognese.
213
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,159
-(SCOFFS)
-'Cause that's what I'm here for.
214
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:55,359
Where is it?
215
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:58,479
CLARKSON: And with that, we were off.
216
00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,199
(BELL TOLLS)
217
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:06,079
Obviously, I don't need to be
in the shade because I have a
218
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,399
Mediterranean, olive complexion.
219
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:11,679
That means I can take the roof
off the 650S
220
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:13,719
and not suffer at all.
221
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,199
Excellent.
222
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,599
HAMMOND: I'll be honest.
223
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:25,239
I am slightly annoyed by how good
that McLaren looks with the roof off.
224
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,879
Suddenly, it's got all the drama
you need in a super car.
225
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,839
It looks brilliant.
226
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:30,919
Damn!
227
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:36,039
And here we are entering
the centre of Bologna,
228
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:39,679
the red city so named because
it's the communist capital of Italy.
229
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,319
And it's the home of Lamborghini.
230
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,119
That communist icon. (CHUCKLES)
231
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:50,679
In the city centre, we parked in
a square which caused no fuss at all.
232
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,679
-I apologise for my friend.
-Oh.
233
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,879
-I would really like to go.
-He gets crotchety...
234
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,079
I'm not crotchety.
I just want to go and eat.
235
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,039
-Can I go and get...
-Yes, you go...
236
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,039
-Bye.
-Which one do you like best?
237
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,439
Lamborghini or McLaren?
238
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,159
-McLaren.
-The McLaren?
239
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:11,439
Yeah. McLaren more than
the Lamborghini even here.
240
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,759
I'll have the spaghetti
Bolognese, please.
241
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,399
No. No, no.
242
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,319
I'll have spaghetti Bolognese, please.
243
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,559
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
244
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,679
-Spaghetti Bolognese. As in Bologna...
-No. No spaghetti.
245
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:32,839
-(ENUNCIATING) Spaghetti Bolognese.
-No.
246
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:34,639
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
247
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:38,399
-You sure?
-Spaghetti... No.
248
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:39,479
Okay.
249
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,679
HAMMOND: Eventually,
I had to concede defeat
250
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:46,159
and join Jeremy
who just finished his dinner.
251
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,399
-Wow.
-Beg on.
252
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:50,039
-This is ridiculous.
-What?
253
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,199
You can't get
spaghetti Bolognese anywhere.
254
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,079
-Can you not?
-In Bologna.
255
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:55,599
-That's unbelievable.
-What have you had anyway?
256
00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:56,759
I had a rag�.
257
00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:58,279
Sounds disgusting.
258
00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:01,399
Hmm. Anyway, listen, never mind that.
259
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,279
I've booked a hotel for the night
and I've got an idea.
260
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,599
It's got one really good room, okay?
261
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:07,839
Right...
262
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,879
Whoever gets there first
can have the room.
263
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:11,719
-So a race there?
-Yeah.
264
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,599
-First one there gets that room.
-Yeah. Exactly.
265
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:16,239
-All right. Yeah, I'm up for that.
-You're up for that?
266
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,319
I'lljust finish this
and we'll get going.
267
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:21,719
-Spaghetti Bolognese.
-Rag�, mmm.
268
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,959
Three, two, one. Go!
269
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,039
Satnav is the answer here.
270
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,359
So, let's put it in.
271
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:31,959
Here we go.
272
00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:35,919
Don't know where he's going.
273
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:42,559
What Hammond doesn't realise, of course,
is that in old cities like this,
274
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:46,199
even Audi satellite navigation
is useless.
275
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:50,359
Local knowledge, that's what you need
and I know it is right here.
276
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,999
I love the way the satnav is integrated
into the main instrument binnacle
277
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,999
rather than a separate ugly screen.
278
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,279
Okay.
279
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,839
Uh... Uh...
280
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,359
Sort of... I think it's that way.
281
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:06,719
(HONKING)
282
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:10,039
CLARKSON: Whilst Hammond was annoying
local delivery drivers,
283
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,399
I was making progress
the old-fashioned way.
284
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,959
Good, so right on Nosadella,
285
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:19,199
past that big statue...
286
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,159
Yes, I know where I am now.
287
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:25,039
I know more than satellite navigation.
288
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:28,119
Well, everybody knows more than
McLaren satellite navigation
289
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:31,079
because it knows
literally nothing at all.
290
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:33,159
It tells you where you've been.
291
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:36,079
It tells you where it thinks
you ought to be.
292
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,479
But it never tells you where you are
or where you're going.
293
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,239
There's no left here. Straight on.
294
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:48,359
No, it was right. It was right.
I should have done the right there.
295
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:55,719
In cities, most super cars,
in fact all super cars,
296
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,119
feel enormous and ungainly.
297
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:02,159
They really do feel like you've gone
into a china shop with a bull.
298
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,719
This, though, it doesn't.
It shrinks around you, it feels tiny.
299
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,679
And speaking of Hammond...
300
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,199
God!
301
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,559
I need to be able to select
width of street.
302
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,079
It's really hard to judge this car.
303
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,959
Squeeze it down here. Easy-peasy.
304
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:26,799
Cyclist! I had no idea he was there.
He's in my blind spot.
305
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,799
Which is massive.
306
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:30,679
Ooh, three here...
307
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:33,719
Now left...
308
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,839
This is it.
309
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,719
Oh, God!
310
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,599
Well, I didn't want the posh room
anyway. Any room will do me.
311
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:46,079
I'm not that fussed. Just a room.
312
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,399
(FOOTSTEPS)
(PANTING)
313
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:55,719
Oop. I hear the sound
of an approaching Hammond.
314
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,759
I think he's still nine
storeys away, though,
315
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,879
so we have plenty of time
to finish my book.
316
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,279
Ooh, he's getting louder.
317
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,039
Ah, you're here.
318
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:23,879
Why is the winner gonna be very pleased?
319
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,919
Well, this hotel only has one room,
and, as you can see,
320
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:27,999
I've got it.
321
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:30,359
One room? It's not
really a hotel then, is it?
322
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,279
It is. It's a one-room hotel.
323
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:35,359
So, what do you say?
I've got to either sleep with you...
324
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:36,519
Which isn't gonna happen.
325
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,559
-No, it's not.
-'Cause I sleep like that.
326
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:39,879
Don't wanna know.
327
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,959
Or go all the way back down with my
suitcases and find somewhere else.
328
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,959
That's exactly it.
You lose, back you go.
329
00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:49,839
Right. Gone.
330
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,399
Yeah. Sleep well.
331
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,279
Hope you don't die or anything.
332
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:54,479
(CHUCKLES)
333
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,279
I'll be fine. I'll find somewhere good.
334
00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:59,759
CLARKSON: Don't trip up. It's much more
tricky going down than it is going up.
335
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:02,079
HAMMOND: Well, at least
I'll get to sleep in hospital.
336
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:11,599
CLARKSON: The next morning,
inspired by the incredible views
337
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:14,079
from my hotel's only bedroom window,
338
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,599
I had an idea.
339
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:19,959
An idea I was keen to share
with my rather grumpy colleague.
340
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:21,839
What?
341
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,959
Well, the thing is, okay,
342
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:27,199
50 miles from here,
not even that, there's a racetrack.
343
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,639
What racetrack?
344
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,039
Can't remember what it's called,
but there's a big red helmet
345
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:33,719
-at the entrance.
-Let me guess.
346
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,319
Is there only room for one car
on the racetrack?
347
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,079
-No.
-And you're on it first.
348
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,759
No, honestly...
I think we should go there.
349
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:42,959
No, we should.
350
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,919
-It's a proper racetrack.
-Yes, it is.
351
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,679
-It is.
-All right.
352
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:48,279
Just have to look for a red helmet.
353
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,399
And so the search began.
354
00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:00,439
(SPEAKING BROKEN ITALIAN)
355
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:03,359
You don't know. Okay.
356
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,839
(SPEAKING BROKEN ITALIAN)
357
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,079
Grazie.
358
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:10,639
They don't seem to know, Hammond.
359
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,199
Well, what are you asking?
360
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:14,679
(SPEAKING BROKEN ITALIAN)
361
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:19,039
Um, does that mean you're asking them
where their red helmet is?
362
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:21,039
Oh, yeah.
363
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,119
That might be a bit rude actually.
364
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:28,719
Eventually, after fine-tuning
our Italian, we found it.
365
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,479
Think you will agree, Hammond,
that is a red helmet.
366
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,239
HAMMOND: It's a very big
red helmet, yes.
367
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,879
CLARKSON: This is Mugello.
368
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,719
It's not the fastest racetrack
in the world,
369
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,199
or the most technical,
370
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,319
but it's sure as hell
371
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:54,519
the prettiest.
372
00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,879
And these are the cars
we'd be driving round it.
373
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:07,119
I had gone for the new BMW M4.
374
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:13,519
And Hammond had chosen the V8
Jaguar F-Type Coup� R.
375
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,079
A car he doesn't like very much.
376
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:17,999
(ENGINE REVVING)
377
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,119
Why don't you like it?
378
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,999
Well, I don't think it's as pretty
as everyone says it is.
379
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,399
-It is.
-I don't think it is.
380
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,199
And I don't like the noises it makes.
381
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,639
All those crackles and bangs.
They're artificial.
382
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,199
They're there because a man with
a laptop told it to sound like that.
383
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,639
The V6 isn't as bad,
but this V8, it's...
384
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:35,119
(STAMMERING) It's false.
385
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,439
So... Okay, you had a choice.
386
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:38,879
You could have any car you like here.
387
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,319
Why have you brought something
you don't like?
388
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:42,959
You shall see.
389
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,719
CLARKSON: And with that, he was gone.
390
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,719
Listen to that.
Sounds like it's got indigestion.
391
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:55,759
And then when you lift off...
392
00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:58,119
(CRACKLING)
393
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,679
Most people hear a car
making noises like that,
394
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,079
they'll think it's broken.
395
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,759
Don't like the interior,
I think the dials are boring.
396
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,879
Putting the light control
on the end of the indicator stalk,
397
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:12,399
fine in a Nissan Micra,
398
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,679
but in a �95,000 sports car,
399
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,839
it suggests they're too lazy or too mean
400
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,599
to develop a separate switch for it.
401
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:21,639
And I think it's too expensive.
402
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:23,759
Best part of �95,000
403
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:26,359
when you've specced it up
to anything acceptable.
404
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,359
Not so long ago, that was
super car money. It's too much.
405
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,159
It should be altogether cheaper.
406
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:37,199
So why then have I chosen this car
for my day at Mugello?
407
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:38,959
Simple.
408
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,199
Because it's more powerful than the BMW
409
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,439
and it can do this.
410
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:50,239
Some cars can be made to over-steer,
to drift and slide.
411
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,399
This wants to. It's all it wants to do.
412
00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,599
(LAUGHING)
413
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,039
Even I can drift this and I'm an idiot!
414
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:12,159
It's just a hooligan machine.
It might be a Jaguar,
415
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:14,319
but
416
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:16,599
it ain't no stuffed shirt.
417
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:34,599
There are all of two things
I don't like about the BMW
418
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:37,639
and not just the colour
which, of course, is hideous.
419
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:41,439
See, the thing is, in essence,
this is a two-door M3,
420
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,919
what used to be called the M3 Coup�.
421
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,319
But they've now called it an M4
and they've thought, "Right,
422
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:48,639
"we must make it different."
423
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:53,039
And look how much styling there is
in that bit of car.
424
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:55,079
And then look at the bonnet.
It goes up there,
425
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,719
then up again, then up again
and the door mirror...
426
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,199
Why is it so fussy?
427
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,879
You get the impression that
if the man who'd styled this
428
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,399
were given the job of styling
Angelina Jolie,
429
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:10,279
"She's got lovely eyes
so I'll give her six of those,
430
00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:13,199
"and 14 noses and 23 lips."
431
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:14,559
And it wouldn't have worked.
432
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:18,559
And there's more.
433
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,599
Richard's Jag, that has a V8.
434
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:23,119
The old M3 had a V8.
435
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:27,319
This has a 3-litre turbo-charge 6,
436
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:28,719
and I'm sorry, but
437
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,199
turbo charging is for the weak.
438
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:35,319
I know it's very good for emissions
and polar bears and so on,
439
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,159
but there has to be lag.
440
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:40,359
There has to be a gap
between when you put your foot down
441
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,039
and the car moving forward.
There has to be.
442
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,559
You can't feel it but it must be there.
443
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:48,719
It... It must.
444
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,279
Loser!
445
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:55,639
Very good.
446
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:59,999
There's another eco issue as well.
They fitted electric power steering.
447
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,239
Whatever you do,
if you have one of these,
448
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,639
never, ever, ever put the steering
in sport plus,
449
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,359
'cause then it's like a switch.
450
00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,679
Over-steer on, off. On, off.
451
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,359
Right. I've now got it set up.
452
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:18,119
Gearbox in maximum attack mode.
453
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:19,799
Suspension, maximum attack.
454
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:21,759
Steering, maximum comfort.
455
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:23,839
'Cause then it'll work. See?
456
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,119
Easy now. Much easier.
457
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:27,799
(LAUGHS)
458
00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,039
And loser!
459
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:32,839
Yes, very good, Hammond. Very good.
460
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,679
But behind all the little niggles,
461
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,439
there is one inescapable truth.
462
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:44,359
The old M3 did
the standing kilometre in 24 seconds.
463
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:47,719
This does it in 22.
464
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:54,639
But it's not the speed
that impresses most of all with the M4.
465
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,199
It's the precision of the handling.
466
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,079
(ENGINE REVVING)
467
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:03,999
The obvious thing about this is that
468
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:07,119
it's all held together with
a latticework of aluminium
469
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:10,479
and carbon fibre. It's incredibly stiff.
470
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:12,559
And you can feel that.
471
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:14,039
(TYRES SQUEALING)
472
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:20,999
Just a wonderful sense
473
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:25,559
of just the back starting to go
and it's all communicated beautifully.
474
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:27,959
If you set it up right.
475
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,319
Hey! Loser!
476
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:33,199
I've had enough of this.
477
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,879
As I was becoming weary
with cheery Hammond,
478
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,239
I invited him into the pits for lunch...
479
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:42,039
And an argument.
480
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:47,839
Why are you eating biscuits?
481
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,919
They haven't got spaghetti
Bolognese, have they?
482
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:51,639
Well, have rag�.
483
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:53,559
-I don't want rag�.
-It's lovely.
484
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:54,879
-(MUTTERING)
-You'll like it.
485
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,079
-I don't like it.
-That's... Quick...
486
00:25:57,880 --> 00:25:58,999
Uh, yeah... But...
487
00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:00,359
It's a bit
488
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:02,039
boring compared with that, mate.
489
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,319
This is a different animal to previous
M3 coup�s. It...
490
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:07,799
It's definitely different. You know,
the turbo charging and
491
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:09,999
the electric steering have really
made it very different.
492
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,599
But it is still a serious player.
493
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,119
It's properly quick.
494
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:15,759
You get... You get it right.
495
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:17,399
And what was that word you just used?
496
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:18,519
-What?
-Serious.
497
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:20,599
-Yeah.
-It is a bit serious. There is a whiff
498
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,159
of serious. It's taking
it all seriously. That
499
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:24,279
might be a Jag,
500
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:26,999
but it's mental. It's complete...
It's lunatic.
501
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,519
Even I can slither about in that
and sort it out. It's...
502
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,159
-It's...
-It's got a sticky front
503
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:34,279
and a loose back end.
504
00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:35,839
-And who doesn't like that?
-Yeah, exactly.
505
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:37,399
Not a phrase for
a first date, obviously.
506
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,439
No, exactly. But I do like...
507
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:43,159
-I thought we were...
-I wasn't expecting that.
508
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:44,879
...freed from that sort of thing.
509
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:47,839
"As this argument is getting boring..."
510
00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:49,719
-Well, not really.
-I was enjoying it.
511
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,879
"...we've devised a challenge to
see which of your cars is best.
512
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,039
"You'll now race The Stig."
513
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,079
Really?
514
00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:00,439
Yeah. "He will be driving
a Fiat 500 Abarth." Oh...
515
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:01,719
It's a little hatchback.
516
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,119
"He will be given a two minute,
30 second..."
517
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:06,839
Two and a half minutes start?
518
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,039
"First one to pass him wins."
519
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:11,879
Pass him?
520
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:14,319
What, as in when he's there,
overtake him?
521
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:16,719
You mean we've got to overtake The Stig?
522
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,559
Is that technically,
physically possible?
523
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,399
Stepping into the unknown.
It's like going through a wormhole.
524
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:25,639
Right.
525
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:29,199
So, with heavy hearts and wide eyes,
526
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,599
we lined our cars up on the start line,
527
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:32,999
next to The Stig.
528
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,679
-On the green.
-Okay.
529
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:40,959
-(LAUGHING)
-It's rubbish.
530
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,039
That was his best shot?
531
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,639
Two and a half minutes.
You see it's been raining.
532
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:48,519
Yes, I am aware of this. Jeremy.
533
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:50,319
I'm a bit scared.
534
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:55,359
-I've got many things to set up.
-Yes.
535
00:27:58,040 --> 00:27:59,839
In drive gearbox.
536
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:01,719
Violent settings.
537
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:02,799
Okay, Jag,
538
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:04,719
I need you to behave.
539
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:08,639
Steering comfort.
540
00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:10,359
Lovely.
541
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:11,919
Oh, God, I can actually see him.
542
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,679
This is it. Here we go! Oop!
543
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:20,159
Struggling for traction.
544
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,479
Oh, deary me, I've made
a mess of all that.
545
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,719
HAMMOND: This is the most powerful car.
546
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,279
I stand a very real
chance of doing this.
547
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:32,399
CLARKSON: Hammond got a better start.
He also has,
548
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,599
let's be brutally honest about this,
549
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:38,079
about 130 more horsepower than I do.
550
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,039
HAMMOND: I must be neat and crisp.
551
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:42,359
Think like a racing driver, Richard.
552
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:46,239
The problem is, I'm not
very good at doing that and the car,
553
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:47,959
I don't think wants to.
554
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:49,839
What I need now is precision.
555
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:51,839
That'll all have to come from me.
556
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,839
Which means I have had it,
because I don't have any precision.
557
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:59,479
Right, turn in. Just focus on
tightly clean lines.
558
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,039
Not sliding all the way round like this.
559
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:03,479
This isn't helping anything.
560
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,559
Sliding's not good.
561
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,039
Sliding won't help.
562
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,119
CLARKSON: That Jag is fast.
563
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,879
But it is waggling its tail
all over the shop.
564
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,359
Damn, damn, damn.
565
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:20,159
He's on the grass.
I've got him here, surely.
566
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:23,519
Ha-ha!
567
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:26,199
God, that BMW's got some go.
568
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:27,839
Sliding will not help.
569
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:29,479
Mustn't do it.
570
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,679
Just concentrate on the job in hand
571
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,039
which is catching The Stig.
572
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:38,239
And then passing him. Some say that
if he's ever overtaken,
573
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,279
he will actually lay an egg.
574
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:55,759
Still no sign of the little Fiat.
I can scarcely believe my eyes.
575
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,399
It's just not anywhere to be seen!
576
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,039
Where the hell is The Stig?
577
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:04,319
There he is!
578
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:07,319
There he is in his little Fiat.
579
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,759
Jeremy's on it! There is The Stig!
580
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:13,079
CLARKSON: 165 horsepower, he's got.
581
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,519
I've got 425.
582
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:17,559
He's in range!
583
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,879
HAMMOND: Jeremy's trying to get past!
He is blocking him.
584
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:21,839
He's not having it, is he?
585
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:23,719
CLARKSON: Now he's weaving around.
586
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:25,439
He's being Maldonado!
587
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:28,399
Now I can't get past Jeremy.
588
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:32,919
No, not sideways. I have
to stop Hammond.
589
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,959
It means I can't get past The Stig
if I'm doing that!
590
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:39,439
Oh, Richard, that's not helping.
591
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,439
Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
592
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,319
Oh, I've spun. Oh, shit.
593
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:48,879
(GRUNTING) Shit!
594
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,399
Oh, dear, I've done a bad thing.
595
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:54,519
I'll not deny it. I've crashed.
596
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:57,079
Yes, we know. I saw you go off.
597
00:30:58,280 --> 00:30:59,279
I broke the car.
598
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:00,999
It's always me.
599
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:02,519
It's always me!
600
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,759
Right, no need to worry
about Hammond any more.
601
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,919
HAMMOND: Go get him!
602
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:17,439
Yeah, I'd like to think that Jeremy
is doing that for the team now.
603
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:19,519
Right. Go get him.
604
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:21,479
CLARKSON: Here I come!
605
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:23,559
Fake right, go left.
606
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:25,559
Yes!
607
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:27,039
What you gonna do now, Stiglet?
608
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:31,359
Yes, I've got you.
I've got you stuffed out there.
609
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,199
Rage emanating from every
610
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,999
fibre of his being,
because he knows he's history.
611
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:42,479
Victory is mine!
612
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:48,519
Right. When I see Hammond...
613
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,079
When I see Hammond, practise my face.
614
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,159
HAMMOND: All right. But come on,
what's it like?
615
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:00,559
Actually overtaking The Stig.
What did it...
616
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:03,959
CLARKSON: Well, it's strange 'cause
it's like a Doctor Who special effect.
617
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,359
It's like space and time,
618
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:07,719
they move.
619
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:08,839
Yeah, but was it like a tunnel?
620
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:10,359
CLARKSON: You can hear... Oop.
621
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:11,479
(CAR APPROACHING)
622
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:13,479
-CLARKSON: Here he comes now.
-Here he is.
623
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:15,999
-He's...
-'Cause this has never happened.
624
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,279
No, it's never happened.
In his entire life.
625
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,399
He's never been overtaken.
626
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:23,279
(TYRES SCREECHING)
627
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:24,639
CLARKSON: I think he's probably
in a bad mood.
628
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:26,719
HAMMOND: He won't be in a... I mean,
he doesn't get in moods.
629
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:29,079
He's The Stig. It's just...
It's body language...
630
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:31,039
No, his body language is bad.
631
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:34,159
-We're not looking like a...
-No, he's all right, he's okay.
632
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:35,639
CLARKSON: No, he's... Ooh, he's...
633
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,159
(METAL CLANKING)
634
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:46,319
HAMMOND: I'm surprised! That's...
635
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:48,479
CLARKSON: He's...
636
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,319
-Let's... Let's look at this.
-Oh, I don't wanna... Please.
637
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:53,759
Probably having me nose rubbed
in the carpet.
638
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:55,559
-CLARKSON: So you've done this panel.
-Yes.
639
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,519
And you've also done...
I notice you've done this panel.
640
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:00,719
-Yeah.
-CLARKSON: This panel here.
641
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:01,879
HAMMOND: And a door.
642
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,959
-So, it's time to move on now. Um...
-It is.
643
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:07,999
-Yes, please. I'd like a lift... Yes.
-You'd like a ride in the BMW.
644
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:09,239
Yes, please.
645
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:13,119
CLARKSON: Oh, for God's sake.
646
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:14,679
That's childish, isn't it?
647
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:22,719
CLARKSON: The next morning
over breakfast,
648
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,319
we decided not to do the next leg
of ourjourney
649
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,399
in a car with a gentleman sausage
650
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:29,079
painted on the side.
651
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:31,879
This is Tuscany.
652
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,639
I'm trying to think what car
we should be using here.
653
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:37,079
Because it's the sort of New Labour,
654
00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:40,599
lovey, spiritual home, you know,
Tony Blair,
655
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:43,399
-Polly Toynbee, Melvyn Bragg, Sting...
-What'll fit?
656
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:44,479
Yeah...
657
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:45,999
Hybrid?
658
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:49,839
We gotta blend in, we gotta
use something that's eco-friendly.
659
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:52,519
-Yeah, we'll drive a hybrid.
-Okay.
660
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,279
We'll eat organic vegetables. And mud.
661
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:57,879
We won't use soap while we're here.
662
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:00,399
We'lljust use leaves.
663
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:02,679
I'm looking forward
to trying a new lifestyle.
664
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:13,719
CLARKSON: This would be the hybrid
we'd be driving.
665
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,919
The tree hugging McLaren P1.
666
00:34:27,240 --> 00:34:28,639
We're actually on the motorway...
667
00:34:28,720 --> 00:34:30,679
-In the car of the future.
-...in electro-drive.
668
00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:34,719
CLARKSON: That's 80 miles an hour.
669
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:36,759
HAMMOND: It's really not trying.
670
00:34:37,720 --> 00:34:40,679
People go on about, "Oh, what are you
gonna do when electric cars come along?"
671
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,159
Drive like maniacs in silence.
672
00:34:43,240 --> 00:34:45,959
CLARKSON: Oh, it's quicker than a
Golf GTI just using its batteries.
673
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:50,559
And when you get bored
with the sound of silence...
674
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:53,639
(ENGINE ROARS)
675
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:58,839
...you just turn on the V8 soundtrack.
676
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:08,719
Oh, it makes some good noises.
677
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:12,959
-You feel the torque then?
-It is properly fast.
678
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:16,999
Most cars you can use full throttle
679
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:18,799
pretty much whenever you want.
680
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:22,159
But this, you just can't.
If you use full throttle in this,
681
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:25,319
you need to be
682
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:26,919
pretty certain...
683
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:28,959
-There's a big run-off.
-Yeah.
684
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:30,359
There's run-offs everywhere.
685
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:36,279
-God, the steering in this...
-Yeah, I can feel it dance.
686
00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:38,599
-Absolutely...
-Yeah.
687
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:39,799
(LAUGHS)
688
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:46,959
-It must feel amazing at the wheel.
-It does.
689
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:50,479
Also, the way... You know the way
bumps can often upset a super car.
690
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,439
But because of the suspension in this,
they just don't.
691
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,439
I'm glad it feels good to drive. Good.
692
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:00,239
Really, really pleased to hear that.
693
00:36:05,240 --> 00:36:06,519
Why aren't I driving?
694
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:11,319
Well, I've never driven it! It's my go.
695
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:15,759
Well, yesterday, you had 540 horsepower
696
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:19,639
and you crashed. This has 904.
697
00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:21,319
Yeah, but I won't crash it.
698
00:36:23,240 --> 00:36:24,879
-Shall I tell you what.
-What?
699
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:26,359
CLARKSON: It's really good.
700
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:28,839
It doesn't feel like
any other super car.
701
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:30,319
-Does it not?
-No.
702
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:33,559
I don't know how it feels
because I've never driven it.
703
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,639
CLARKSON: To try and put an end
to Hammond's moaning...
704
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:39,199
You're gonna let me drive,
is that why you're slowing?
705
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:40,279
No.
706
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,159
...I decided to stop off at a vineyard
707
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:45,359
for some blind wine tasting.
708
00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:52,479
(GARGLES)
709
00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:59,199
Mmm. Mmm.
710
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,439
-Red.
-No! It's white!
711
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:05,999
-Oh, damn it.
-I'm sorry, mate.
712
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:07,279
Right, let's try this one, hang on.
713
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:09,839
(GARGLES LOUDLY)
714
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:15,759
Ooh, that got it.
715
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:18,559
-Beer.
-No, it's red.
716
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:21,119
-Is it? Oh!
-Right, one more. One more.
717
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:26,319
Hmm?
718
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:28,199
What are you getting?
719
00:37:30,240 --> 00:37:32,079
-Red.
-No.
720
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:33,719
Well, nearly. Red Bull.
721
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:36,119
It was diet though. You see?
I threw you a blind one.
722
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:38,119
(LAUGHS) Really? Red Bull?
723
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:39,519
-Hey!
-What?
724
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:41,359
-You swallowed the wine?
-Yeah.
725
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:43,039
You can't drive!
726
00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:46,919
I haven't had anything.
727
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:48,319
I've been pouring.
728
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:49,439
You've been drinking.
729
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:50,519
You cannot drive.
730
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:52,519
You did that on purpose.
731
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:53,839
No.
732
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:55,999
Get in the car. Come on, get in.
733
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:57,839
CLARKSON: There was, however,
a small problem
734
00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,719
that I'd just thought of.
735
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:03,199
-Ooh, my back! I can't get in! I can't!
-Get in the car.
736
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:04,759
-Just get in the car.
-I can't.
737
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:06,439
-Get in.
-I'm not... Look.
738
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:08,599
CLARKSON: Ow! My back again.
739
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:12,199
(ENGINE REVS)
740
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,359
CLARKSON: Luckily though, I'd chosen
the safest route
741
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:26,359
to the hotel.
742
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:30,719
You're a lot slower than
I thought you'd be. It's quite good.
743
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:36,759
Is it like this all the way
this afternoon?
744
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:39,079
-I'm just saying.
-Is it?
745
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:43,199
CLARKSON: Happily, the answer was...yes.
746
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:46,479
HAMMOND: Oh, come on! I've been
desperate to have a go in this!
747
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,519
You'll be able to say that
you've driven a McLaren P1.
748
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:50,959
Think of that.
749
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:54,079
CLARKSON: Well, well done.
750
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:55,999
Well, just think,
no, you didn't crash once.
751
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:57,159
Yes, all right.
752
00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:58,919
Well, I'll tell you what.
I'm gonna celebrate that
753
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:00,839
with a big plate of spaghetti Bolognese.
754
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:03,159
-Oh, good luck with that.
-Yes, in here.
755
00:39:03,240 --> 00:39:05,639
-CLARKSON: Is it in there?
-Yeah, I think so.
756
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:10,119
HAMMOND: The next morning,
Jeremy had planned a visit
757
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:12,599
to see some more old buildings.
758
00:39:12,720 --> 00:39:16,239
But I'd come up with something
much, much better.
759
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,679
If this involves rallying,
760
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:21,239
-I'm going to kill you.
-It doesn't. It isn't.
761
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:23,959
No, but, Hammond,
this is a loose surface.
762
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:26,119
And that smells of rallying to me.
763
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:27,399
Fear not, this is something else.
764
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:29,439
-What?
-Well, you will have heard
765
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:30,879
-of the Mille Miglia.
-Yup.
766
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,359
A thousand miles through Italy
in something like a
767
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:35,519
1952 Alfa Romeo?
768
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,039
-That is what we're gonna do.
-Really?
769
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:40,999
-Well, I've had to change a few things.
-What things?
770
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:42,679
The distance.
771
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:44,319
I've brought it down a bit.
772
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:45,799
How far is it?
773
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:46,919
It's four miles.
774
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:48,879
So it's the Quattro Miglia.
775
00:39:49,240 --> 00:39:50,999
Snappy title, I like that.
Yeah, it's that.
776
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:53,839
-Is it in 1952 Alfa Romeos?
-No.
777
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:55,319
We are doing it
778
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:56,799
in Ferraris.
779
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:58,519
-Really?
-Yeah. Come with me. Come have a look.
780
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:00,799
-What Ferraris?
-Have a look. Come with me.
781
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,999
Your car. Ferrari 355. There it is.
782
00:40:07,720 --> 00:40:08,719
I know.
783
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:14,999
CLARKSON: Immediately, I could see
something was wrong.
784
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,199
-What is it?
-It's a Fiero underneath.
785
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,799
Buried deep under the Ferrari styling.
786
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:20,879
It's a Pontiac.
787
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:22,919
Yeah. Yeah.
788
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:24,359
It's a Pontiac
789
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:25,559
that is
790
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:28,759
styled by someone in a garage
whose wife's left him
791
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:31,879
to look a bit like a Ferrari 355.
792
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:33,919
-Yes.
-A car I used to own.
793
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,279
Oh, for God's sake.
Right, we're gonna fire it up?
794
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:38,879
-HAMMOND: Yeah.
-(ENGINE SQUEAKS)
795
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:42,159
Listen to that. The belt's slipping.
796
00:40:42,240 --> 00:40:43,799
-CLARKSON: That's a V6.
-Yeah, it is.
797
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:46,359
So from memory,
it's a Fiero engine, yeah?
798
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:47,639
It is, yeah.
799
00:40:47,720 --> 00:40:49,959
V6. I think 140 horsepower
those engines had?
800
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:51,039
Thereabouts.
801
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:54,359
CLARKSON: Just 'cause it says
F355 Berlinetta on the back,
802
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:56,479
doesn't make it.
803
00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:58,999
If I stencil the words "Brad" and "Pitt"
804
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:01,759
on the back of you,
it doesn't make you Brad Pitt.
805
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:03,919
No, but for a moment,
it might fool someone.
806
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:07,279
-Do you want to see mine?
-What is it?
807
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:09,959
Come and have a look.
808
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:20,239
-A Testarossa. Yeah?
-(LAUGHS)
809
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:22,839
It's got the streaks on the side.
810
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:26,079
HAMMOND: All the styling cues
are there! Look!
811
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:27,519
Look at the overhang.
812
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:30,799
Yeah, well, it was big on the original
and it's even bigger on this one.
813
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:32,599
-Hammond?
-Yeah?
814
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:35,239
Forgive me, okay, this is obviously
plastic, because all kit cars are.
815
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:36,759
Have you seen the framework?
816
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:38,599
-It's made from...
-It's 4x2.
817
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:41,199
-Yeah, it's...
-4x2. It's wood.
818
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:43,919
Well, it's like it's a Morgan, isn't it?
Coach build that.
819
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:47,839
It's a fence. With some plastic on it.
820
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:49,519
-What is that?
-That's the original...
821
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,919
The original Fiero had
a four-cylinder engine in it.
822
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:53,639
-2.5-litre?
-Yeah.
823
00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:55,079
How many horsepower is that?
824
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:56,159
92.
825
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:59,599
So it's a 92-horsepower Testarossa?
826
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:00,719
Yep.
827
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:04,239
-(ENGINE STARTS)
-HAMMOND: Ah!
828
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:06,519
Testarossa. Four cylinder.
829
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:09,439
-CLARKSON: Headlamps.
-One works!
830
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:15,759
CLARKSON: I then decided to see
how far away you'd have to stand
831
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:19,119
for it to look like a real Testarossa.
832
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,999
So not, mate, that's still
not a Testarossa.
833
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:23,759
HAMMOND: No, it's not quite there.
I think further.
834
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:25,559
Another couple of steps back.
835
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:28,599
Come on!
836
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:32,319
From here, that could be a Testarossa.
837
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:34,719
Yes, but it could also be a phone box.
838
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:37,119
-But...
-I'm sorry, so long as it's occupying
839
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:39,999
a pixel, it couldn't be
a Ferrari Testarossa.
840
00:42:45,720 --> 00:42:46,759
Yeah.
841
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,839
Here we go. The inaugural Richard
Hammond four-mile-on-gravel,
842
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:56,319
plastic-Pontiac-Ferrari
kit car challenge is about to begin.
843
00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:59,679
Tre, due, uno... Vai!
844
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:04,399
And we are off.
845
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:07,959
Yes! The mighty V6
846
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:10,359
is off to an amazing start.
847
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:15,759
And the four-cylinder Testarossa
has been left far behind.
848
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:19,959
Thing is, I have always wanted
to do the Mille Miglia.
849
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:22,479
But I've never been invited
because I'm a Brummie yob.
850
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:24,359
But even if I had been invited,
851
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:27,639
I haven't got the time.
It's 1,000 miles. Takes ages.
852
00:43:27,720 --> 00:43:30,439
This. Quattro Miglia. I've got time.
853
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:33,999
And for spectators,
they get to see Ferraris
854
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,639
racing in ways
they never normally would.
855
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:42,439
That was a bit skiddy.
856
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:45,119
No anti-lock brakes,
no traction control.
857
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:48,399
No driver aids of any kind, just
858
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:50,479
pure push-rod technology.
859
00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:55,079
Why can't Richard Hammond ever dream up
860
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:57,439
a motorsport that I might like?
861
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:00,719
Jeremy's lost a piece of car.
862
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:05,879
Expecting this to last
863
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:08,359
four miles is like expecting
a fake Rolex
864
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,759
that you bought for a fiver at
865
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:13,319
a market stall in Hong Kong to last
866
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:15,799
four trips to the shower.
It won't. It'll break.
867
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:18,719
Oh. Another piece of car.
868
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:22,839
Oh, no. Losing power.
869
00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:25,719
(CAR SPUTTERS)
870
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:28,679
Many bangs. Big bangs there.
871
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:30,679
(CAR SPUTTERS AND MISFIRES)
872
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:34,519
Clear your throat, car!
Clear your throat and go!
873
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:36,919
(CAR CONTINUES MISFIRING)
874
00:44:38,240 --> 00:44:40,879
And we've locked up the rear wheels.
875
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:43,199
Yeah, that's not good.
876
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:46,079
And there's nothing at all now.
877
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:50,039
Fortunately, the 355 was
in a terrible state.
878
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:51,599
The engine had cooked itself
879
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:54,879
and the alternator
had stopped alternating.
880
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:58,079
Unfortunately, however,
it was all fixable,
881
00:44:58,160 --> 00:44:59,559
and many hours later
882
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:03,039
I was able to finish Hammond's
stupid little race.
883
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:07,839
-CLARKSON: Yes!
-Well done!
884
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:10,039
-Four miles!
-Oh, yeah!
885
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:11,919
CLARKSON: Four miles completed.
886
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,039
-Feat of endurance.
-My misery is at an end.
887
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:16,079
Yes!
888
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:18,439
You have made it to stage two!
889
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:20,279
-What?
-Well, while you were finishing
890
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:21,959
the massive endurance feat,
891
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:24,919
you and car, stage one,
this is stage two!
892
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:26,759
-What is stage two?
-Well, while you were gone,
893
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:30,479
I've worked out a lap
around these buildings in this
894
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:34,039
-beautiful old Tuscan town.
-Well, how many laps?
895
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:35,679
As many as you can manage.
896
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,639
What, so the last one still running
is the winner?
897
00:45:38,720 --> 00:45:40,399
-Yeah.
-I'm gonna drive it into a wall.
898
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:44,399
HAMMOND: This was the stage
I had lined up.
899
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:48,039
It was around a stunning, deserted
Tuscan village.
900
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:57,359
(GRUNTING)
901
00:45:58,080 --> 00:45:59,199
Okay, this is it.
902
00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:02,479
Thing is, you wouldn't do this
in a normal Ferrari
903
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:05,239
but you'd do it in this one.
It's better.
904
00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:11,599
How in the name of Zeus' butthole
905
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:13,439
have I ended up doing this?
906
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:18,959
Right. Scan flick.
Never been done in a Ferrari before.
907
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:24,479
Oh, can't see anything now.
908
00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:29,079
Blind! And hot and miserable!
909
00:46:29,240 --> 00:46:31,719
I can't see a thing!
910
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:37,999
Yeah, the dust is a problem
on this stage.
911
00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:42,199
That's what makes it a unique event.
912
00:46:44,600 --> 00:46:46,719
CLARKSON: Then, I had an idea.
913
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,879
If I catch up to him
and ram him off the track,
914
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:53,599
then he will lose
and the misery will be over.
915
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:58,599
That's not helping.
916
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:00,519
It's not supposed
to be stock car racing.
917
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:02,359
It's the city stage.
918
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:07,239
I'm ramming him! I'm ramming him!
919
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:10,679
No! No! No!
920
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:16,559
Clarkson, it's not a demolition derby.
I'm in a Ferrari.
921
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,879
CLARKSON: Mercifully, as we racked up
more and more laps,
922
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:32,959
the toll on the cars started to show.
923
00:47:37,720 --> 00:47:40,039
Until eventually, Hammond's Testarossa
924
00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:42,399
could take the punishment no longer.
925
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:44,159
I see steam!
926
00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:46,199
(ENGINE WHIRRING)
927
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:49,119
None of these are good signs. Um...
928
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:51,359
I think Hammond's car is wounded.
929
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:53,319
I'm hoping it is.
930
00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:56,679
Oh, come on.
931
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:03,599
Victory is mine and tastes sweet.
932
00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:06,879
CLARKSON: But Hammond
thought differently.
933
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:07,959
It's not over yet.
934
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:09,679
-Oh, for crying out loud.
-At the heart of this machine,
935
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:11,319
that's a simple four-cylinder engine.
936
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:12,759
-Is it?
-It has at the moment
937
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:15,279
heat seized. All the metal has expanded,
it's stuck.
938
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:16,439
-Is it?
-It's like when you get a bad back
939
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:17,679
at your age.
940
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:19,159
Then every now and again, it eases.
941
00:48:19,240 --> 00:48:20,959
-Does it?
-Give it a rest. The parts will contract
942
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:23,119
and it'll fire up.
It's gonna do just that.
943
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:25,199
Not... Not now...
944
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:27,239
-But in a...
-When is it going to do that?
945
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:28,399
I'll pick the moment.
946
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:30,999
I'm good at this.
I know when it'll start.
947
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:32,959
It's gonna start.
948
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:37,279
If that starts, I'm gonna kill myself.
949
00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:40,159
(ENGINE CRANKING)
950
00:48:40,240 --> 00:48:41,559
(ENGINE STARTS)
951
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:42,999
(HAMMOND LAUGHS)
952
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:44,279
Get in!
953
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:45,559
Get in! Come on!
954
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:48,919
Ah! Yes! That is mechanical sympathy!
955
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:51,199
I'm at one with the machine.
956
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:54,559
CLARKSON: Because the
prancing horse whisperer was right,
957
00:48:57,360 --> 00:48:59,559
the race was back on.
958
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:05,039
(LAUGHS)
959
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:13,239
I'm still in this.
I'm still racking up those laps.
960
00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:15,199
Please break now. Please break.
961
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:19,719
After many more laps,
the gods of good fortune
962
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:22,759
finally decided to smile on me.
963
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:28,079
There has been
an extraordinary accident.
964
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:29,359
I've spun.
965
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:31,199
The engine is jammed on full revs.
966
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:33,439
It's in first gear.
967
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:35,399
And the clutch pedal is being held down
968
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:37,759
by a broom, I have no idea
969
00:49:38,160 --> 00:49:40,039
where that came from.
970
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:43,039
Luckily though, it's held in place
by two ropes
971
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:44,719
which are attached to heavy objects.
972
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:46,079
One is a wheelbarrow
973
00:49:46,880 --> 00:49:48,119
with a concrete block in it.
974
00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:49,599
The other is this building.
975
00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:53,119
What worries me though
is this small fire has broken out
976
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:54,239
underneath this rope.
977
00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:55,839
Now, if it were to snap,
978
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:58,679
the broom would be dragged out
by the wheelbarrow,
979
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:00,519
the clutch would ping off
980
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:03,399
and the car would roar off
into that building.
981
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:06,079
I've no idea how to stop this
from happening.
982
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:08,479
I'm just a passenger in this accident.
983
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:14,359
Think, Jeremy! There must be
something you can do.
984
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:20,239
(SCREAMING)
985
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:31,679
(LOUD THUD)
986
00:50:33,240 --> 00:50:34,879
CLARKSON: Oh, no!
987
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:42,399
(CAR APPROACHING)
988
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:50,119
-Well, mate, congratulations, you win.
-What happened?
989
00:50:50,560 --> 00:50:52,479
Extraordinary crash.
990
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:55,239
-Really hard into the wall.
-But you're not hurt.
991
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:56,599
No, I was thrown clear.
992
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:58,519
Amazing! I don't know how it happened.
993
00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:01,159
But I was thrown out
and it's gone in the wall.
994
00:51:01,240 --> 00:51:03,919
-You did this on purpose.
-I didn't!
995
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,199
You've deliberately
996
00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:08,679
thrown the race.
This is a hollow victory.
997
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:16,119
CLARKSON: That night at the hotel,
there was good news for Hammond
998
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:18,999
that I hoped would put a smile
back on his face.
999
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:22,119
-Do you do spaghetti Bolognese?
-Yes, sir.
1000
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:23,319
-You do?
-Yes.
1001
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:25,079
I'll have that then, please.
1002
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:26,799
Actually, I'll have
a spaghetti Bolognese.
1003
00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:28,839
It's traditional spaghetti Bolognese?
1004
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:30,399
-Perfect.
-At last!
1005
00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:32,799
-One's just proposed to the other.
-That's romantic.
1006
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:33,879
A-ha.
1007
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:35,839
CLARKSON: Excellent!
1008
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:37,759
HAMMOND: Um... What's this?
1009
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:39,799
-It's spaghetti Bolognese.
-No, it's not.
1010
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:41,879
-It is.
-Oh, no, it isn't.
1011
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:42,999
It is. It's spaghetti and sausage.
1012
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:47,479
In Italy, spaghetti Bolognese
is spaghetti with sausage.
1013
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:49,399
Look. Actual sausage.
1014
00:51:49,880 --> 00:51:51,839
Why don't they call it
spaghetti with saus...
1015
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:53,479
-It's not spaghetti Bolognese.
-Just stop with the name!
1016
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:56,959
How could... If an Italian
comes to Britain and asks for
1017
00:51:57,040 --> 00:51:58,239
a cooked breakfast,
1018
00:51:58,320 --> 00:52:00,439
you don't give him
a cooked swan, do you?
1019
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:02,279
You give him bacon and eggs.
1020
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:03,759
-It's not right. No.
-Eat it.
1021
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:05,999
-It's not right.
-It is.
1022
00:52:09,240 --> 00:52:12,879
CLARKSON: The next morning we woke near
the beautiful town of Siena.
1023
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:16,519
And outside our hotel,
the producers have provided two cars
1024
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:20,919
that would take us in and around
it's narrow, medieval streets.
1025
00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:25,639
There was the new Mini Cooper S
which was shotgunned by Hammond.
1026
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:30,039
And an Audi S1 which, as
a result, would be driven by me.
1027
00:52:31,240 --> 00:52:34,319
I was expecting a Fiesta ST
and a Golf GTI.
1028
00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:35,679
Oh, we drove those last year.
1029
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:38,239
-(GROANS) Oh, yeah.
-So, this is their
1030
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:40,799
-replacement.
-Well, it's quite interesting,
1031
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:42,879
'cause I've never driven an S1 before.
1032
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:44,959
And I've not driven a Cooper S, so...
1033
00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:47,119
So it'll be a voyage into the unknown.
1034
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:48,919
-Yes, it will.
-That's what it'll be.
1035
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:54,679
CLARKSON: All we did know is that
Siena is a rabbit warren,
1036
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:58,559
made up of 6.7 million narrow streets.
1037
00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:03,319
In a town like this, size matters,
and the smaller the better!
1038
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:10,999
HAMMOND: Small is always best.
1039
00:53:11,640 --> 00:53:14,079
And that's what troubles
me about this new Mini.
1040
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:16,599
It's 10 centimetres longer
than the last model,
1041
00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:20,239
which was 65 centimetres longer
than the original Mini.
1042
00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:22,159
So, it isn't really mini.
1043
00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:27,879
I don't wanna sound like
somebody's dad here, but,
1044
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:30,439
when are they going
to stop calling it the "Mini"?
1045
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:32,639
As a bloke you are called "a young man"
1046
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:35,479
for a lot of years. But the day comes,
1047
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:39,679
and must come, when nobody calls you
"young man" any more because you're not!
1048
00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:43,399
And perhaps because it's so big,
1049
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:46,559
it needs a bigger two-litre,
turbo charged engine,
1050
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:49,559
which develops nearly
200 brake horsepower.
1051
00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:52,719
This feels a lot better than
I expected it to feel.
1052
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:55,599
It feels fantastic.
1053
00:53:55,720 --> 00:53:57,079
It feels expensive,
1054
00:53:57,160 --> 00:53:59,479
which is as well, because it is.
1055
00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:02,479
With everything on it,
as this one has got,
1056
00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:05,639
you'll be looking
at the best part of �25,000.
1057
00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:07,999
There are some other issues as well.
1058
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:11,919
The old new Mini, the one
before this one,
1059
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:14,479
had a sort of zany feel to it,
1060
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:16,679
had that massive speedo
that was as big as your face,
1061
00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:19,559
and they've moved the window
switches out to the doors.
1062
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:21,839
It's got this big,
round thing in the middle,
1063
00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:24,799
but it's not a dial any more.
It houses the screen.
1064
00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:29,039
It's trying to be both
sensible and a bit crazy.
1065
00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:33,279
CLARKSON: I, on the other hand,
had no worries at all about the Audi S1
1066
00:54:33,360 --> 00:54:37,559
because on paper, at least,
it sounds like it could be a gem.
1067
00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:45,119
Now normally, a hot hatchback
1068
00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:47,959
is a normal hatchback
with a bigger engine,
1069
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:50,839
and this does indeed
have the same engine
1070
00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:52,199
as the Golf R.
1071
00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:55,079
228 horsepower, two-litre turbo.
1072
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:57,279
But it also has
1073
00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:58,759
four-wheel drive.
1074
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:02,639
And that meant removing the standard
car's torsion beam
1075
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:05,439
and replacing it with
a four-link setup.
1076
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:07,679
Which meant redesigning
1077
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:10,559
the entire rear end of the car.
1078
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:14,719
That must have cost Audi a fortune!
1079
00:55:18,080 --> 00:55:23,079
It also has adjustable dampers and
a six-speed manual gearbox.
1080
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:27,079
So what you're looking at here
is a compact,
1081
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:32,359
228 horsepower, four-wheel drive,
turbo-charged Audi.
1082
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:34,999
Could it be, then,
1083
00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:37,999
that the Quattro is back?
1084
00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:40,799
To find out, I radioed Hammond
1085
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:42,519
and suggested a race.
1086
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:46,079
Hammond, I propose
some form of competition.
1087
00:55:46,840 --> 00:55:48,199
Excellent! Is it rallying?
1088
00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:49,999
No, not rallying.
1089
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:51,879
(OVER RADIO) Think about it,
both of these are rally cars.
1090
00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:54,399
The original Mini Cooper
and the Audi Quattro.
1091
00:55:54,480 --> 00:55:57,119
-Perfect...
-That was a million years ago!
1092
00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:00,679
These are now urban pocket rockets.
So, I propose
1093
00:56:01,720 --> 00:56:03,039
we have a race
1094
00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:07,319
into the middle of Siena. Okay,
first one to the Campo wins.
1095
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:09,039
What's the Campo?
1096
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:11,879
Campo is like a square
in the middle of the city,
1097
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:14,239
except it's not a square.
It's where they have the horse race.
1098
00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:16,039
What, so it's grass?
1099
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:18,239
(OVER RADIO) No. It's cobbled.
1100
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:21,639
Um... Anyway, listen, right.
Last one to get there
1101
00:56:22,240 --> 00:56:26,519
has to wear white
three-quarter length trousers
1102
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:28,279
all day tomorrow, okay?
1103
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:30,199
Three, two, one...
1104
00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:31,559
Go!
1105
00:56:37,720 --> 00:56:39,159
Right. Hammond has gone wrong.
1106
00:56:39,240 --> 00:56:42,999
HAMMOND: So, I am looking for
a cobbled horse track
1107
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:45,159
in a square that isn't square
1108
00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:47,679
and if I lose,
1109
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:50,599
I have to wear white three-quarter
length trousers for a day.
1110
00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:52,119
My life is weird.
1111
00:56:52,240 --> 00:56:55,399
CLARKSON: Right.
First things first. I just put
1112
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:58,039
everything in dynamic mode.
There we are.
1113
00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:01,239
That firms up... (STUTTERING) Oh, no.
That doesn't firm everything up.
1114
00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:04,319
It solidifies the suspension...
1115
00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:06,319
They should call it bounce-matic.
1116
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:08,439
Back into auto.
1117
00:57:10,040 --> 00:57:11,999
And now we've lost the sharpness.
1118
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:14,759
Also, it isn't as accelerative
1119
00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:18,359
as a Golf R. And I don't know how
that can be. I mean, it's smaller.
1120
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:20,399
Why isn't it faster?
1121
00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:23,479
So, the Mini was too big,
1122
00:57:23,560 --> 00:57:25,759
the Audi was all wrong,
and we'd both entered
1123
00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:28,559
Siena from completely
different directions.
1124
00:57:37,680 --> 00:57:40,319
I think it's right in
towards the centre.
1125
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:42,479
Looking on my big satnav here,
1126
00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:44,919
which can take into account the weather.
1127
00:57:45,080 --> 00:57:48,079
What it can't do is find
the Campo de... Whatever it's called.
1128
00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:55,039
We've established then,
that the S1 is bouncy in dynamic mode
1129
00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:57,199
and bland in auto mode.
1130
00:57:57,640 --> 00:58:01,559
But, at �25,000, it is
at least expensive.
1131
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:04,079
And it's not like you're paying
for four-wheel drive,
1132
00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:06,359
'cause most of
the time it's front-wheel drive.
1133
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:09,199
Only in dire emergencies is
1134
00:58:09,400 --> 00:58:11,399
half the power sent to the back.
1135
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:16,639
Meanwhile, Hammond
was having some issues as well.
1136
00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:18,679
What I should have done
is bring a small car
1137
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:20,759
rather than a Mini. Oh...
1138
00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:24,119
I can't do it. Uh...
1139
00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:30,199
-(BRAKES SCREECHING)
-Ooh! Crikey, Moses!
1140
00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:35,679
Sorry. I've gotten slightly distracted.
1141
00:58:36,480 --> 00:58:38,399
Oh... Right.
1142
00:58:39,040 --> 00:58:40,199
Okay.
1143
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:43,879
Cars are, of course, banned from Siena
apart from these ones.
1144
00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:46,719
You can have as many
laws as you like in Italy,
1145
00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:48,919
just so long as they are not enforced.
1146
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:52,399
HAMMOND: I can see what the producers
were thinking here,
1147
00:58:52,480 --> 00:58:53,959
knowing we were around Siena,
1148
00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:56,719
"Small car. Mini. ItalianJob. "
1149
00:58:57,080 --> 00:58:59,679
Couple of points there. If
The ItalianJob had been done in this,
1150
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:01,359
they would've ended in the first scene
1151
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:03,039
because the cars would've
been stuck in a tunnel.
1152
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:04,519
It's big!
1153
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:08,239
CLARKSON: Ten minutes in, and it had
become less about a race
1154
00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:10,239
and more about survival.
1155
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:13,719
No. Right. I've definitely been
there before.
1156
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:17,519
I am going round in circles!
1157
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:20,159
What if you lived there? How would you
tell anyone it was there?
1158
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:22,559
"It's the tall, brown building,
opposite the tall, brown building.
1159
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:24,199
"Next to some tall, brown buildings."
1160
00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:25,599
Well, that's everywhere!
1161
00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:29,479
Lost...
1162
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:32,479
HAMMOND: Some of these people
are quite aged.
1163
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:35,559
I suspect they've been looking
for a way out all their lives.
1164
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:39,799
This isn't the Campo.
1165
00:59:39,920 --> 00:59:42,559
It's a square but it's not
the square I'm looking for.
1166
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:44,679
Oh, dead end. Not good.
1167
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:46,919
Using the handbrake.
1168
00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:48,919
Yes! It works!
1169
00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:52,039
And it's a proper handbrake,
not an electronic button.
1170
00:59:52,360 --> 00:59:53,359
HAMMOND: Oh! Cars!
1171
00:59:53,480 --> 00:59:55,919
People. Everything. Really dangerous.
1172
00:59:57,400 --> 00:59:59,479
Scusi, coming through.
1173
01:00:02,280 --> 01:00:04,479
This is hopeless, I'm gonna...
Hang on, that's a big building.
1174
01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:05,639
This is it.
1175
01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:08,239
The signs are all right.
One, it's not square.
1176
01:00:08,440 --> 01:00:09,439
Two, it's cobbled,
1177
01:00:09,880 --> 01:00:12,599
three, it's got
a Jeremy bloody Clarkson in it.
1178
01:00:19,560 --> 01:00:20,559
Where is he?
1179
01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:24,559
Mmm! Hammond...
1180
01:00:25,040 --> 01:00:27,159
-Hello.
-Just thinking... Tomorrow,
1181
01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:30,999
I am going to wear blue trousers that
go all the way to the ground.
1182
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:32,199
Yeah, whatever. Never mind all that.
1183
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:34,359
'Cause you... What's the word? I know!
1184
01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:36,879
-Lost.
-Whatever. Never mind all that.
1185
01:00:37,480 --> 01:00:38,759
Is that a spaghetti Bolognese?
1186
01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:39,839
Yes, it is!
1187
01:00:40,360 --> 01:00:42,359
-Yes, it is. Delicious! Mmm!
-Well, I want some.
1188
01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:44,959
But it's not called
spaghetti Bolognese here.
1189
01:00:45,840 --> 01:00:47,279
-What's it called?
-It's called...
1190
01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:49,759
Ya-yam-a-balenda.
1191
01:00:50,360 --> 01:00:52,479
-Ya-yam...
-Ya-yam-a-balenda.
1192
01:00:52,880 --> 01:00:54,439
Ya-yam... Hello, yes,
1193
01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:56,999
um, ya-yam-a-balenda...
1194
01:00:58,320 --> 01:00:59,319
Please...
1195
01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:00,799
Ya-yam...
1196
01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:02,119
A-balenda.
1197
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:05,399
-(CLARKSON LAUGHING)
-Oh, you total plum sack.
1198
01:01:06,040 --> 01:01:07,399
You childish...
1199
01:01:08,160 --> 01:01:09,759
You're a grown man!
1200
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:15,239
CLARKSON: As neither of us had
particularly enjoyed our cars,
1201
01:01:15,320 --> 01:01:16,919
we left them in the Campo
1202
01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:19,719
and went off to find a hotel on foot.
1203
01:01:21,040 --> 01:01:23,959
Do you know it took them
300 years to build that?
1204
01:01:24,040 --> 01:01:25,079
Not interested.
1205
01:01:25,160 --> 01:01:27,559
But if you imagine,
starting a cathedral,
1206
01:01:27,880 --> 01:01:30,919
in 1714 and then finishing it today,
1207
01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:32,759
it would be all different as it went up.
1208
01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:35,039
-Not interested!
-Glass roof...
1209
01:01:36,880 --> 01:01:38,759
CLARKSON: The next morning,
Hammond emerged from
1210
01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:40,959
the hotel looking ridiculous.
1211
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:44,999
But not as ridiculous as he looked when
he got into the car he'd chosen.
1212
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:48,119
The new Chevrolet Corvette Stingray.
1213
01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:51,359
So, let's just get this straight.
1214
01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:53,919
You're gonna drive from here in Siena...
1215
01:01:54,240 --> 01:01:56,039
-Mmm-hmm.
-...to Rome.
1216
01:01:57,120 --> 01:02:01,239
In a Chevrolet Corvette while wearing
white three-quarter length trousers?
1217
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:03,399
Yes. Well, the trousers are your fault.
1218
01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:05,519
And it's 150 miles,
1219
01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:09,159
this is a brilliant car. 150 miles
in a Corvette with the roof down
1220
01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:12,039
really doesn't worry me.
I'm perfectly happy.
1221
01:02:12,880 --> 01:02:13,879
Goodbye!
1222
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:15,999
(ENGINE REVS)
1223
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:23,159
Oh! This is perfection!
1224
01:02:23,440 --> 01:02:26,559
6.2 litres of American V8 grunt.
1225
01:02:27,080 --> 01:02:28,519
Apart from my strides,
1226
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:30,239
I am a very happy boy today.
1227
01:02:32,880 --> 01:02:35,639
No, no, no, I'm the happy boy today
1228
01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:38,799
because I'm in an Alpha Romeo 4C.
1229
01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:43,479
The sun is shining.
1230
01:02:44,240 --> 01:02:45,999
And I am on my way to Rome.
1231
01:02:47,160 --> 01:02:50,319
Everything about this car,
every single detail,
1232
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:52,519
was designed to be light.
1233
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:54,919
The chassis, for example,
is a carbon fibre tub,
1234
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:57,479
same as you get on a Formula One car or
1235
01:02:57,560 --> 01:02:58,919
a McLaren P1.
1236
01:03:00,120 --> 01:03:02,439
It weighs 65 kilograms.
1237
01:03:02,560 --> 01:03:05,959
The whole car only weighs 900 kilograms.
1238
01:03:06,080 --> 01:03:08,759
And that means it doesn't need
a big engine.
1239
01:03:09,440 --> 01:03:10,519
Which is why,
1240
01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:13,199
mounted just behind the driver
is a small
1241
01:03:13,400 --> 01:03:16,079
1.7-litre, turbo-charged engine
1242
01:03:16,320 --> 01:03:19,599
which develops just
237 brake horsepower.
1243
01:03:20,160 --> 01:03:21,159
Doesn't sound like much,
1244
01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:22,959
but in a feather, trust me,
1245
01:03:23,320 --> 01:03:24,319
it is.
1246
01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:29,159
This is so much better
than the Corvette.
1247
01:03:31,760 --> 01:03:32,759
Hammond?
1248
01:03:33,160 --> 01:03:34,199
Yes?
1249
01:03:34,280 --> 01:03:35,319
Do you own a gun?
1250
01:03:36,560 --> 01:03:38,759
-Why?
-Have you found the little cubbyhole
1251
01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:40,599
behind the satnav screen in there?
1252
01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:42,239
Here it is.
1253
01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:44,039
Yes, I've found it.
1254
01:03:44,160 --> 01:03:46,599
That's where you put your
pistol and your Bible.
1255
01:03:47,160 --> 01:03:48,679
(LAUGHING)
1256
01:03:49,280 --> 01:03:52,039
(IN SOUTHERN AMERICAN ACCENT)
Support the troops, God bless America.
1257
01:03:55,240 --> 01:03:57,079
I know he's going to be laughing at me.
1258
01:03:57,520 --> 01:03:58,559
Look at that idiot.
1259
01:03:58,640 --> 01:03:59,719
Brummie redneck,
1260
01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:01,839
with his V8
(IN AMERICAN ACCENT) motor...
1261
01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:03,719
(NORMAL ACCENT)
But he knows as well as I do
1262
01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:06,679
this is not some crude,
primitive Yank tank.
1263
01:04:06,960 --> 01:04:09,279
This is a modern car, it's all new.
1264
01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:10,839
The only two parts
1265
01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:13,239
carried forward from the old Corvette
1266
01:04:14,240 --> 01:04:16,479
are an air vent in the filter system
1267
01:04:16,600 --> 01:04:18,919
and on the convertible version,
the roof latch,
1268
01:04:19,160 --> 01:04:21,759
that's it.
Otherwise, this is an entirely new car.
1269
01:04:22,600 --> 01:04:24,559
From the people
who put a man on the moon.
1270
01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:26,399
It's fast, too.
1271
01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:31,159
The V8 now delivers a whopping
460 brake horsepower
1272
01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:32,639
and a top speed
1273
01:04:32,880 --> 01:04:35,199
of 190 miles an hour.
1274
01:04:38,840 --> 01:04:41,319
CLARKSON: Keen to show Hammond
that he knows nothing,
1275
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:42,919
I pulled over here,
1276
01:04:43,120 --> 01:04:44,359
in the centre of Rome,
1277
01:04:44,760 --> 01:04:46,119
to teach him a lesson.
1278
01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:50,639
-So this is Rome?
-Yeah.
1279
01:04:51,120 --> 01:04:52,479
I thought it was all full of old stuff.
1280
01:04:53,080 --> 01:04:55,719
No, no, the Colosseum and
those steps, they're in a
1281
01:04:56,280 --> 01:04:57,919
sort of suburb, where tourists go.
1282
01:04:58,000 --> 01:04:59,999
This is the actual city centre here.
1283
01:05:00,280 --> 01:05:01,519
This is the centre of Rome?
1284
01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:03,199
Yes, it's why it wasn't built in a day,
1285
01:05:03,720 --> 01:05:05,319
'cause they had to do this place,
it took forever.
1286
01:05:05,480 --> 01:05:07,399
-Have you ever driven round it?
-HAMMOND: No.
1287
01:05:07,920 --> 01:05:10,119
-So you've never crashed here then?
-Well, no, I've never driven it.
1288
01:05:11,200 --> 01:05:12,759
Why don't you see if you can do a lap
1289
01:05:13,280 --> 01:05:14,359
of the centre of Rome
1290
01:05:15,040 --> 01:05:16,119
without crashing?
1291
01:05:17,160 --> 01:05:18,439
-I'll give it a shot.
-Give it a shot.
1292
01:05:18,520 --> 01:05:19,519
I will give that a go.
1293
01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:20,679
-Give it a shot.
-Yes.
1294
01:05:22,560 --> 01:05:24,959
-Ahh! Seat's hot. It's really hot.
-Is it?
1295
01:05:25,040 --> 01:05:26,639
Really hot,
but I'll tell you what, though.
1296
01:05:26,920 --> 01:05:28,439
-What?
-This is a city centre, isn't it?
1297
01:05:28,640 --> 01:05:29,799
-Yes.
-Well, in that case,
1298
01:05:29,880 --> 01:05:31,319
you know the rules, roof up.
1299
01:05:31,400 --> 01:05:33,999
Oh, yeah, don't want people
to see those trousers.
1300
01:05:34,960 --> 01:05:36,639
See? American engineering.
1301
01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:40,399
-Couple of AKs down here, an M16.
-Shut up.
1302
01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:42,679
And a "Vote Republican" flyer.
1303
01:05:43,080 --> 01:05:44,159
Right, ladies and gentlemen,
1304
01:05:44,240 --> 01:05:45,319
we're now going to see
1305
01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:47,919
if Richard Hammond
can do a lap of a racetrack
1306
01:05:48,120 --> 01:05:49,199
without crashing.
1307
01:05:49,560 --> 01:05:51,479
And, here he goes.
1308
01:05:51,680 --> 01:05:53,319
Unleash that power!
1309
01:05:53,520 --> 01:05:55,559
(ENGINE REVVING)
1310
01:06:02,080 --> 01:06:05,639
So there's a bit of a right-hander here,
I'll get over to the left, ready.
1311
01:06:05,920 --> 01:06:07,839
I think about that much steering,
1312
01:06:09,720 --> 01:06:10,799
kissing the apex.
1313
01:06:10,880 --> 01:06:12,599
Oh, it's a double apex corner, this.
1314
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:15,239
This is nice, it's, it's...
1315
01:06:15,320 --> 01:06:17,239
It's like being James May.
It's restful.
1316
01:06:18,400 --> 01:06:19,879
I don't know why we mock him for it.
1317
01:06:21,200 --> 01:06:24,199
CLARKSON: Making sure that I'd
given Hammond plenty of room,
1318
01:06:24,320 --> 01:06:26,319
I set off, in the Alfa.
1319
01:06:35,240 --> 01:06:37,199
(GUFFAWING)
1320
01:06:40,240 --> 01:06:43,079
Because the 4C is going to be square,
1321
01:06:43,160 --> 01:06:44,479
it's as wide as it is long,
1322
01:06:45,040 --> 01:06:47,679
the grip is just incredible.
1323
01:06:50,120 --> 01:06:51,519
And because there's no weight
1324
01:06:51,720 --> 01:06:53,519
dragging you out of shape,
1325
01:06:54,360 --> 01:06:58,479
you can go around corners at speeds
that just boggle the mind.
1326
01:07:05,920 --> 01:07:07,039
HAMMOND: And now,
1327
01:07:07,720 --> 01:07:08,919
the chicane.
1328
01:07:12,880 --> 01:07:15,279
CLARKSON: The feel from this car is...
1329
01:07:15,880 --> 01:07:16,919
It's sublime.
1330
01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:19,879
I'm totally and utterly
in love with this car.
1331
01:07:23,840 --> 01:07:25,719
Oh, hello, there's Richard Hammond.
1332
01:07:26,360 --> 01:07:28,119
Yes!
1333
01:07:28,200 --> 01:07:29,639
Eat my Alfa!
1334
01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:31,359
I'm gonna ignore that.
1335
01:07:31,640 --> 01:07:33,119
I'm not gonna get drawn into anything.
1336
01:07:33,600 --> 01:07:35,319
I am driving within my limits.
1337
01:07:37,320 --> 01:07:38,439
One of the, uh,
1338
01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:40,039
motoring magazines,
1339
01:07:40,120 --> 01:07:42,279
which shall remain nameless,
say that it
1340
01:07:42,360 --> 01:07:45,839
begins with "Au" and ends in "tocar",
1341
01:07:45,920 --> 01:07:49,159
they say that you can't slide a 4C.
1342
01:07:50,280 --> 01:07:51,599
Uh, so what was that?
1343
01:07:53,960 --> 01:07:55,319
Oh, God, there is the line.
1344
01:07:56,240 --> 01:07:57,359
I'm gonna do it.
1345
01:07:57,560 --> 01:08:00,199
There he is, Richard Hammond
has nearly completed his lap,
1346
01:08:00,280 --> 01:08:02,919
let's slow down and savour the moment.
1347
01:08:03,440 --> 01:08:04,999
Oh, yes, watch this.
1348
01:08:05,240 --> 01:08:07,239
And I crossed the line!
1349
01:08:07,360 --> 01:08:08,519
(LAUGHING)
1350
01:08:10,160 --> 01:08:11,279
Well done, mate, that is...
1351
01:08:11,360 --> 01:08:12,719
I'm impressed, actually
1352
01:08:12,840 --> 01:08:15,719
'cause that is a lot of horsepower
in that thing and you've done it.
1353
01:08:19,400 --> 01:08:22,119
Hammond, now bored of driving
like Captain Slow,
1354
01:08:22,200 --> 01:08:26,279
decided he was ready
to finally unleash his V8.
1355
01:08:28,640 --> 01:08:31,679
(ECHOING) And launch, launch,
launch, launch...
1356
01:08:38,760 --> 01:08:41,599
No substitute for cubes.
(IMITATES JUGGERNAUT HORN)
1357
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:44,119
He's got what?
256 brake horsepower per ton.
1358
01:08:44,240 --> 01:08:47,319
I've got 302 and that is better.
1359
01:08:47,760 --> 01:08:48,879
Fact.
1360
01:08:52,480 --> 01:08:55,679
He has a top speed of 160,
I have a top speed of 190.
1361
01:08:59,120 --> 01:09:00,679
Out of my way, insect,
1362
01:09:00,760 --> 01:09:01,919
in your tiny little car.
1363
01:09:02,040 --> 01:09:03,359
CLARKSON: Come on!
1364
01:09:03,920 --> 01:09:05,079
No!
1365
01:09:05,560 --> 01:09:09,039
This heralded the start of a
David and Goliath battle,
1366
01:09:09,160 --> 01:09:12,319
not seen since Minis used to
take on Ford Falcons
1367
01:09:12,480 --> 01:09:15,039
in the British
Touring Car Championships.
1368
01:09:19,280 --> 01:09:20,999
Hammond, in his Corvette,
1369
01:09:21,120 --> 01:09:23,239
he's destroying the rain forest,
1370
01:09:23,320 --> 01:09:25,039
he's killing polar bears
1371
01:09:25,360 --> 01:09:26,439
and
1372
01:09:26,720 --> 01:09:29,519
he's wearing white three-quarter length
trousers and these,
1373
01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:31,879
these are bad crimes.
1374
01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:34,119
(TYRES SCREECHING)
1375
01:09:35,920 --> 01:09:38,359
This is a bloody good car.
1376
01:09:39,240 --> 01:09:40,639
Yes, it's enormous.
1377
01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:43,599
But, my God, it can look after itself.
1378
01:09:43,720 --> 01:09:46,039
CLARKSON: It's amazing.
The first part of this track
1379
01:09:46,400 --> 01:09:48,199
is very much Corvette territory,
1380
01:09:48,280 --> 01:09:50,559
but the second part, where I am now,
1381
01:09:51,200 --> 01:09:52,719
this is Alfa town!
1382
01:09:54,600 --> 01:09:56,279
He's never gonna go up the inside.
1383
01:09:56,920 --> 01:09:58,039
No way.
1384
01:09:58,160 --> 01:09:59,719
Come on, little Alfa!
1385
01:10:01,080 --> 01:10:02,959
-And look who's coming through.
-Whoa!
1386
01:10:03,280 --> 01:10:04,999
(LAUGHING)
1387
01:10:05,280 --> 01:10:06,919
-Damn it!
-Have that!
1388
01:10:08,720 --> 01:10:11,119
Now I'm back on the straight again.
1389
01:10:11,520 --> 01:10:13,199
Oh, it's got some grunt.
1390
01:10:13,520 --> 01:10:14,639
(HAMMOND LAUGHING)
1391
01:10:15,160 --> 01:10:17,119
Massive speed through the straights.
1392
01:10:17,480 --> 01:10:20,799
The Big Mac is faster on the straights
than the bruschetta.
1393
01:10:22,040 --> 01:10:23,879
After many, many laps,
1394
01:10:23,960 --> 01:10:25,759
Hammond sensibly decided
1395
01:10:25,880 --> 01:10:27,639
we should go into the pits.
1396
01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:31,199
We carry on like this,
1397
01:10:32,760 --> 01:10:33,919
we're going to crash.
1398
01:10:34,160 --> 01:10:35,319
Well, you are.
1399
01:10:35,400 --> 01:10:36,679
What? Anyway,
1400
01:10:36,800 --> 01:10:38,599
-I have genuinely had an idea.
-What?
1401
01:10:38,680 --> 01:10:41,239
I would love to find out which of
these two is the fastest.
1402
01:10:41,960 --> 01:10:43,719
And the best way to do that
is to use science,
1403
01:10:43,840 --> 01:10:45,799
and the best way to do that
is to use The Stig.
1404
01:10:46,160 --> 01:10:47,599
We put The Stig in each of the two cars,
1405
01:10:47,720 --> 01:10:49,319
one hot lap in each car,
1406
01:10:49,480 --> 01:10:51,399
then we will have a definitive answer.
1407
01:10:51,800 --> 01:10:53,839
Which of these two very different cars
1408
01:10:54,240 --> 01:10:55,319
is the fastest around this track.
1409
01:10:55,400 --> 01:10:57,599
So, you're asking me to give these keys
1410
01:10:57,680 --> 01:10:59,479
to the nicest little car
I've ever driven
1411
01:10:59,760 --> 01:11:01,399
-to The Stig?
-You really have fallen for that.
1412
01:11:01,480 --> 01:11:02,479
Yes, I have.
1413
01:11:02,560 --> 01:11:04,199
-You're gonna have to hand it over.
-No, but I'm actually,
1414
01:11:04,280 --> 01:11:07,199
joking apart, I am quite
interested in that.
1415
01:11:07,600 --> 01:11:08,719
'Cause I would like to know...
1416
01:11:08,800 --> 01:11:11,519
I know in the first half of the track
the Corvette's gonna be quick,
1417
01:11:11,800 --> 01:11:13,239
the second half, the Alfa's quick.
1418
01:11:13,520 --> 01:11:15,079
'Cause the second half is Alfaland.
1419
01:11:15,240 --> 01:11:17,199
No, I agree. Let's find him
1420
01:11:17,280 --> 01:11:18,839
and make him do that.
1421
01:11:25,040 --> 01:11:27,079
CLARKSON: Somehow,
between us leaving the pits
1422
01:11:27,160 --> 01:11:28,879
and getting to race control,
1423
01:11:28,960 --> 01:11:30,999
Stig had lined up the Corvette
1424
01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:32,519
on the start line.
1425
01:11:32,600 --> 01:11:34,679
(ENGINE ROARING)
1426
01:11:35,880 --> 01:11:37,359
-I like this.
-I do.
1427
01:11:37,440 --> 01:11:38,639
Can we get all this at our track?
1428
01:11:38,960 --> 01:11:41,079
Can we see into people's bedrooms
with this one?
1429
01:11:41,800 --> 01:11:43,159
-Yes, Jeremy.
-Can we?
1430
01:11:43,280 --> 01:11:44,719
No. Actually...
1431
01:11:52,680 --> 01:11:54,439
-There he is.
-Yeah! Oh, oh, ah...
1432
01:11:54,720 --> 01:11:56,239
God, he's going very fast.
1433
01:11:58,720 --> 01:11:59,999
I'm genuinely fascinated
1434
01:12:00,080 --> 01:12:01,559
-at which is gonna be quickest.
-I am.
1435
01:12:03,200 --> 01:12:04,879
It's just weird though, 'cause it is,
1436
01:12:05,480 --> 01:12:09,719
it's where we're at, it is the future
and the past have come together here
1437
01:12:09,960 --> 01:12:11,119
for a battle.
1438
01:12:11,280 --> 01:12:13,679
I'm not sure if you're not bigging
it up a bit too much.
1439
01:12:13,880 --> 01:12:17,519
It is, though. The Corvette is
the sort of last of the past.
1440
01:12:17,720 --> 01:12:19,279
-Yeah.
-And the Alfa is...
1441
01:12:19,400 --> 01:12:21,279
All cars are gonna have to be
built like the Alfa.
1442
01:12:29,160 --> 01:12:32,159
Right, so he's finished. He's gone
across the line in the Corvette.
1443
01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:35,599
Which meant it was the Alfa's turn.
1444
01:12:39,720 --> 01:12:42,319
Come on, Hammond,
it looks better than yours.
1445
01:12:43,160 --> 01:12:44,959
-Hmm, no.
-I admit
1446
01:12:45,040 --> 01:12:46,079
it's very good looking.
1447
01:12:46,160 --> 01:12:49,559
Your fat men from Kentucky
have done a very good job with your car.
1448
01:12:50,040 --> 01:12:52,479
But they are ultimately
fat men from Kentucky.
1449
01:12:53,120 --> 01:12:55,799
This was designed by engineers
from Milan.
1450
01:13:03,400 --> 01:13:05,839
The only thing is, that's a very
nice little object
1451
01:13:06,000 --> 01:13:08,119
but it could equally be
a very nice peppermint.
1452
01:13:16,080 --> 01:13:17,119
Well, that's it, it crossed the line.
1453
01:13:17,600 --> 01:13:18,799
-Is he across the line? He's done...
-Yeah, yeah.
1454
01:13:18,880 --> 01:13:21,279
Yes, he's done. There we are.
So now we wait for times.
1455
01:13:23,600 --> 01:13:24,679
Alfa time.
1456
01:13:26,280 --> 01:13:27,359
Corvette time.
1457
01:13:27,960 --> 01:13:29,119
(CLARKSON LAUGHING)
1458
01:13:29,960 --> 01:13:31,079
Two...
1459
01:13:31,320 --> 01:13:32,839
-Two...
-Oh, really?
1460
01:13:33,120 --> 01:13:34,919
-Yeah, you see. Now you see...
-Is it?
1461
01:13:35,000 --> 01:13:36,039
Yeah, it is.
1462
01:13:36,120 --> 01:13:37,879
So, all that extra power...
1463
01:13:38,520 --> 01:13:39,599
Oh, yeah...
1464
01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:41,679
And we are both at two minutes.
1465
01:13:41,920 --> 01:13:43,839
-We must be within nine seconds.
-Mine is...
1466
01:13:44,000 --> 01:13:46,679
-(LAUGHING)
-My number is less than five.
1467
01:13:47,880 --> 01:13:49,839
-So is mine.
-(GROANS)
1468
01:13:50,440 --> 01:13:51,479
Two minutes,
1469
01:13:52,040 --> 01:13:53,079
three...
1470
01:13:53,160 --> 01:13:55,159
-1.6, yes!
-Oh...
1471
01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:57,119
-But that's all there is.
-3.4.
1472
01:13:57,960 --> 01:14:00,159
-And that is...
-2:03.4.
1473
01:14:00,360 --> 01:14:02,159
2:01.6.
1474
01:14:02,760 --> 01:14:06,119
-It's 1.8 seconds faster.
-That's not bad, is it?
1475
01:14:06,320 --> 01:14:07,399
That is amazing.
1476
01:14:07,920 --> 01:14:10,719
Anyway, we must now
drive these cars into
1477
01:14:10,920 --> 01:14:13,159
the suburb of Rome
with the old stuff in it.
1478
01:14:13,240 --> 01:14:14,679
That's the stuff
I've seen on the telly.
1479
01:14:14,760 --> 01:14:15,799
Yes, you know, the stuff that,
1480
01:14:15,880 --> 01:14:17,079
-the tourists, the tourists...
-Yeah.
1481
01:14:17,400 --> 01:14:18,879
-Okay.
-So we drive them in there
1482
01:14:19,080 --> 01:14:20,159
and stay the night.
1483
01:14:20,360 --> 01:14:22,519
-Have I got to still wear them?
-Yes.
1484
01:14:24,560 --> 01:14:26,719
HAMMOND: That night,
I was feeling very happy
1485
01:14:26,880 --> 01:14:29,319
that I put the orang-utan in his place.
1486
01:14:29,640 --> 01:14:31,679
But as I arrived in the suburb of Rome
1487
01:14:31,760 --> 01:14:33,359
with the old buildings and stuff,
1488
01:14:33,680 --> 01:14:36,879
I would have changed places with him
in a heartbeat.
1489
01:14:38,360 --> 01:14:40,159
Every single car in Rome
1490
01:14:40,240 --> 01:14:42,519
is a small, grey, dented hatchback.
1491
01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:44,039
It's just what they are.
1492
01:14:44,120 --> 01:14:46,959
They're not red American droptops.
1493
01:14:47,200 --> 01:14:49,759
You must admit,
you've got the wrong car here.
1494
01:14:49,840 --> 01:14:52,239
HAMMOND: I cannot
possibly argue otherwise.
1495
01:14:54,520 --> 01:14:57,039
Could you take a different route
to the hotel?
1496
01:14:57,400 --> 01:14:59,199
No. I'm driving alongside
you deliberately
1497
01:14:59,280 --> 01:15:00,799
so people know we're together.
1498
01:15:00,880 --> 01:15:02,239
I'm his mate. I'm with him.
1499
01:15:07,240 --> 01:15:08,999
This car sits in Rome
1500
01:15:09,080 --> 01:15:12,159
like a candle sits on a birthday cake.
1501
01:15:13,120 --> 01:15:14,839
The Corvette sits in Rome
1502
01:15:14,920 --> 01:15:17,519
like a turd sits on a birthday cake.
1503
01:15:24,320 --> 01:15:27,559
The next day Hammond insisted
we change cars.
1504
01:15:27,760 --> 01:15:32,039
So, as we had to drive to the
Amalfi Coast on a variety of roads,
1505
01:15:32,120 --> 01:15:36,479
we switched to two cars that
can do a variety of things.
1506
01:15:38,040 --> 01:15:40,879
The Mercedes AMG A-Class
1507
01:15:41,160 --> 01:15:43,599
and the VW Golf R.
1508
01:15:44,280 --> 01:15:46,799
Both have two-litre,
turbo-charged engines,
1509
01:15:47,040 --> 01:15:48,399
German built quality,
1510
01:15:48,720 --> 01:15:50,119
and four-wheel drive.
1511
01:15:51,560 --> 01:15:53,239
These are just about
1512
01:15:53,360 --> 01:15:54,999
the hottest, hot hatches
1513
01:15:55,240 --> 01:15:56,319
ever made.
1514
01:16:01,280 --> 01:16:02,719
HAMMOND: Oh, this feels better.
1515
01:16:03,200 --> 01:16:04,239
I am blending,
1516
01:16:04,320 --> 01:16:07,719
I am in Rome,
doing as the Romans are doing,
1517
01:16:08,400 --> 01:16:09,559
which is a good thing.
1518
01:16:11,320 --> 01:16:13,719
I can see why you needed to switch
1519
01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:17,119
to a grey hatchback, but why did I
need to switch?
1520
01:16:17,960 --> 01:16:19,519
Well, you like a fast Golf.
1521
01:16:19,880 --> 01:16:21,639
The Alfa was fine, where is it?
1522
01:16:21,880 --> 01:16:24,559
I've given the Alfa back to the man
from Alfa Romeo.
1523
01:16:25,040 --> 01:16:26,319
So, I'm never seeing it again?
1524
01:16:26,880 --> 01:16:29,039
HAMMOND: Oh, God.
Are you going to pine for it?
1525
01:16:29,640 --> 01:16:32,239
What if somebody else drives it
and isn't kind to it?
1526
01:16:32,440 --> 01:16:35,319
What if somebody else drives it
and it really enjoys it?
1527
01:16:35,680 --> 01:16:37,119
No... No...
1528
01:16:37,360 --> 01:16:39,719
Stop saying these things.
1529
01:16:41,560 --> 01:16:42,599
They met in Rome.
1530
01:16:43,520 --> 01:16:45,799
He was a big ugly man.
1531
01:16:46,440 --> 01:16:49,519
She was a small slip of an Alfa Romeo.
1532
01:16:49,920 --> 01:16:51,439
And despite all odds,
1533
01:16:51,680 --> 01:16:52,759
they got together,
1534
01:16:53,040 --> 01:16:54,439
and they got on.
1535
01:16:55,000 --> 01:16:57,759
And then one day she was gone,
1536
01:16:57,960 --> 01:17:00,759
and the big ape was sad.
1537
01:17:01,040 --> 01:17:02,079
(SNIFFLES)
1538
01:17:02,160 --> 01:17:04,159
I liked the 4C...
1539
01:17:06,440 --> 01:17:09,279
HAMMOND: WithJeremy
still pining for his Alfa,
1540
01:17:09,720 --> 01:17:12,759
we left Rome for the 150-mile
drive south
1541
01:17:13,120 --> 01:17:14,719
to the Amalfi Coast.
1542
01:17:17,920 --> 01:17:20,639
This is Mercedes' first ever hot hatch,
1543
01:17:21,160 --> 01:17:22,959
and they just looked at hot hatches
and thought, "All right,
1544
01:17:23,040 --> 01:17:26,119
(IN GERMAN ACCENT) "it needs to be
powerful and fast and discreet
1545
01:17:26,640 --> 01:17:28,479
"and stylish, quietly."
1546
01:17:28,960 --> 01:17:31,039
And then they just made it
the ultimate hot hatch.
1547
01:17:31,360 --> 01:17:32,519
(IN GERMAN ACCENT)
"There you go, we've done it."
1548
01:17:32,960 --> 01:17:36,639
355 brake horsepower from a modest
two-litre capacity,
1549
01:17:36,720 --> 01:17:37,839
turbo-charged engine,
1550
01:17:37,920 --> 01:17:40,199
four-wheel drive, seven speed
double clutch gearbox,
1551
01:17:40,520 --> 01:17:41,999
0 to 60 in 4.3 seconds,
1552
01:17:42,360 --> 01:17:44,559
top speed limited to 168.
(IN GERMAN ACCENT) That is it.
1553
01:17:45,200 --> 01:17:46,279
We have won ze game.
1554
01:17:46,600 --> 01:17:50,479
CLARKSON: But the Mercedes
costs nearly �38,000,
1555
01:17:50,640 --> 01:17:53,559
7,000 more than the Golf.
1556
01:17:53,800 --> 01:17:56,119
So, is it really that much faster?
1557
01:17:57,360 --> 01:18:00,199
Three, two, one, go.
1558
01:18:05,560 --> 01:18:09,999
No. Would you just look at that?
That is just romping away.
1559
01:18:10,760 --> 01:18:12,039
Yeah, this is faster.
1560
01:18:12,120 --> 01:18:14,359
But this is 297 brake horsepower.
1561
01:18:14,480 --> 01:18:16,599
That's a lot from a two-litre car.
1562
01:18:17,520 --> 01:18:20,639
Where the hell
have they got 355 from in yours?
1563
01:18:20,880 --> 01:18:23,999
355 brake from a two-litre!
1564
01:18:24,080 --> 01:18:27,079
For a hatchback,
that is ludicrously fast.
1565
01:18:29,040 --> 01:18:32,279
Mindful of the premature end
to last year's road trip,
1566
01:18:32,400 --> 01:18:35,159
we settle down into a gentle cruise.
1567
01:18:36,600 --> 01:18:38,319
Oh, God, don't let him see the volcano
1568
01:18:38,400 --> 01:18:40,039
or we'll end up spending
the rest of the day
1569
01:18:40,520 --> 01:18:42,199
gawping at rocks and things.
1570
01:18:42,280 --> 01:18:43,399
-CLARKSON OVER RADIO: Hammond?
-Oh.
1571
01:18:43,800 --> 01:18:45,199
Is that Vesuvius over there?
1572
01:18:45,600 --> 01:18:47,239
HAMMOND OVER RADIO:
Ah, no. No, it's not.
1573
01:18:47,960 --> 01:18:50,959
Yes, it is, and that means
we're very close to Pompeii.
1574
01:18:51,440 --> 01:18:53,959
Please don't make me spend
the afternoon standing about
1575
01:18:54,120 --> 01:18:55,159
gawping at rocks.
1576
01:18:55,240 --> 01:18:57,119
You made me drive a kit car,
1577
01:18:57,200 --> 01:18:59,079
I'm making you go to Pompeii.
1578
01:19:00,760 --> 01:19:02,119
HAMMOND: Happily, however,
1579
01:19:02,240 --> 01:19:04,679
Pompeii was a bit touristy.
1580
01:19:04,760 --> 01:19:06,759
Hammond, I may have
cocked up a bit here.
1581
01:19:07,320 --> 01:19:09,119
HAMMOND OVER RADIO:
Oh, great idea this is.
1582
01:19:10,800 --> 01:19:13,599
HAMMOND: Which meant
our sight-seeing was impossible.
1583
01:19:14,640 --> 01:19:15,839
Thank you for watching.
1584
01:19:16,320 --> 01:19:17,559
WOMAN: I love you so much.
1585
01:19:18,160 --> 01:19:19,479
MAN: Andrew, give me your hand.
1586
01:19:19,720 --> 01:19:20,839
I'm not Andrew.
1587
01:19:21,280 --> 01:19:22,399
Thanks for watching the show.
1588
01:19:23,400 --> 01:19:24,439
They think I'm called Andrew.
1589
01:19:25,160 --> 01:19:29,159
HAMMOND: Which meant that Andrew and I
were soon back on our way to Sorrento.
1590
01:19:30,040 --> 01:19:31,839
However, the producers
1591
01:19:31,920 --> 01:19:33,519
then made us pull over
1592
01:19:33,640 --> 01:19:35,519
to do promotional activity,
1593
01:19:35,680 --> 01:19:37,479
at the worst location ever.
1594
01:19:38,720 --> 01:19:40,839
-Why didn't you read the small print?
-Why didn't you read it?
1595
01:19:41,000 --> 01:19:43,719
Ladies and gentlemen, propelled
in front of the camera
1596
01:19:43,800 --> 01:19:45,519
by the small print in their contracts...
1597
01:19:45,600 --> 01:19:48,199
'Cause the BBC's lawyers are better
than our lawyers,
1598
01:19:48,280 --> 01:19:50,799
we're here to tell you
about our new D...
1599
01:19:51,080 --> 01:19:54,519
-V-D...
-Our brand new Top Gear DVD is called
1600
01:19:54,840 --> 01:19:56,159
Top... What is it called?
1601
01:19:56,240 --> 01:19:58,639
Our brand new Top Gear DVD is called
1602
01:19:58,920 --> 01:20:00,599
"The Perfect Road Trip 2."
1603
01:20:00,720 --> 01:20:02,559
And here are just some of the things...
1604
01:20:02,800 --> 01:20:03,839
Wait, that's too much, isn't it?
1605
01:20:04,000 --> 01:20:06,519
Just in case you were wondering...
(LAUGHING)
1606
01:20:06,600 --> 01:20:09,159
Just in case you... (LAUGHING)
1607
01:20:09,560 --> 01:20:13,279
-Yeah, wow.
-This year for our all new Top Gear DVD,
1608
01:20:13,360 --> 01:20:14,559
we've been working hard
1609
01:20:15,000 --> 01:20:16,759
to put right all the things
that went wrong...
1610
01:20:16,840 --> 01:20:17,919
-Band started.
-Band started.
1611
01:20:18,000 --> 01:20:19,039
Kill me.
1612
01:20:19,120 --> 01:20:21,119
-The band is... Oh... Cannon...
-Cannon.
1613
01:20:21,640 --> 01:20:24,159
(CANNON EXPLODING)
1614
01:20:25,040 --> 01:20:26,839
Oh, that's got it, that's shifted it.
1615
01:20:27,160 --> 01:20:28,879
-Best location ever, I think this.
-Superb.
1616
01:20:29,000 --> 01:20:30,599
Hello, BBC Shop!
1617
01:20:30,880 --> 01:20:32,039
-Coming up now...
-Just one shop?
1618
01:20:32,120 --> 01:20:33,319
-What?
-Just one shop?
1619
01:20:33,560 --> 01:20:35,159
Hello, The Mirror, coming up...
1620
01:20:35,240 --> 01:20:36,759
Hello, Sun Motors, and coming up...
1621
01:20:36,840 --> 01:20:40,959
Hello, Blinkbox, I have literally no
idea who you are, but coming up...
1622
01:20:41,040 --> 01:20:43,559
-Hello, Nile, coming up now...
-It's Amazon.
1623
01:20:43,640 --> 01:20:46,559
Hello, iTunes, coming up now,
some exclusive action
1624
01:20:46,680 --> 01:20:49,119
from our brand new Top Gear DVD.
1625
01:20:49,240 --> 01:20:50,999
"The Perfect Road Trip 2."
1626
01:20:51,200 --> 01:20:52,919
-Bang!
-I'm ready to pull now.
1627
01:20:53,040 --> 01:20:54,719
(CANNONS EXPLODING)
1628
01:20:54,800 --> 01:20:56,359
It's explosive!
1629
01:20:56,440 --> 01:20:58,799
(LAUGHING)
1630
01:20:59,080 --> 01:21:01,599
-Cut.
-CLARKSON: That is the worst ever.
1631
01:21:01,800 --> 01:21:03,399
-Bang.
-(EXPLODING)
1632
01:21:03,680 --> 01:21:05,959
CLARKSON: With the contractual
obligations fulfilled,
1633
01:21:06,040 --> 01:21:08,439
we settled down to talk about cars.
1634
01:21:08,840 --> 01:21:09,999
P1.
1635
01:21:10,280 --> 01:21:11,359
It is the best.
1636
01:21:11,760 --> 01:21:14,159
-Yes.
-No, it is. I mean, it just is.
1637
01:21:14,480 --> 01:21:16,079
Now look, I'm not admitting to anything
1638
01:21:16,160 --> 01:21:18,479
about it being quicker or slower
than 918, but...
1639
01:21:18,840 --> 01:21:20,239
Yeah, I was dazzled, I'm amazed.
1640
01:21:20,320 --> 01:21:21,839
It feels unlike anything else.
1641
01:21:23,360 --> 01:21:25,879
The big surprise, uh, the Corvette
1642
01:21:26,200 --> 01:21:28,519
Stingray, which I know
you secretly like.
1643
01:21:28,760 --> 01:21:30,039
No, I don't secretly like it.
1644
01:21:30,120 --> 01:21:31,719
-I publicly like the Corvette.
-Yes.
1645
01:21:31,840 --> 01:21:33,399
Now, the Corvette's a good car, but...
1646
01:21:34,040 --> 01:21:35,559
-Come on, man.
-No, I mean, I'm...
1647
01:21:35,640 --> 01:21:36,759
Here we go...
1648
01:21:37,120 --> 01:21:39,079
The car I would take away from this
1649
01:21:39,440 --> 01:21:40,559
and own happily and live
1650
01:21:41,120 --> 01:21:43,359
in a cottage in Devon and rear geese is
1651
01:21:43,520 --> 01:21:45,399
-the Alfa 4C.
-Maybe walk through a park
1652
01:21:45,480 --> 01:21:46,759
kicking through autumn leaves with it.
1653
01:21:46,840 --> 01:21:49,799
I can't find the words to describe
how much I like that car.
1654
01:21:50,400 --> 01:21:52,479
Somewhere out there beyond the volcano,
1655
01:21:52,560 --> 01:21:54,319
the 4C is roaming free...
1656
01:21:54,400 --> 01:21:56,279
-In the hands of another man.
-May I help you, sir?
1657
01:21:57,600 --> 01:21:59,599
Yes, could I have, uh...
1658
01:22:00,000 --> 01:22:01,519
Yeah, rag�, please.
1659
01:22:01,640 --> 01:22:03,879
-Why is it rag�? You always have that.
-Rag�...
1660
01:22:05,040 --> 01:22:07,719
In England, we call it
spaghetti Bolognese.
1661
01:22:07,920 --> 01:22:09,559
You've had that every day.
1662
01:22:10,120 --> 01:22:11,119
I know.
1663
01:22:12,160 --> 01:22:14,959
And that is... What, it's the same.
It's like tomatoes and meat, and...
1664
01:22:15,040 --> 01:22:16,919
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd eat it and go,
1665
01:22:17,000 --> 01:22:18,279
"This is a spaghetti Bolognese."
1666
01:22:18,360 --> 01:22:21,399
So, you've been having
spaghetti Bolognese, essentially,
1667
01:22:21,480 --> 01:22:22,599
every day single day of this trip.
1668
01:22:22,680 --> 01:22:25,679
I said, I've had a rag�.
You said, "Ugh, that sounds disgusting."
1669
01:22:25,760 --> 01:22:27,439
But why don't they call it
spaghetti Bolognese?
1670
01:22:27,520 --> 01:22:28,919
-Because it's called rag�.
-Why call it a rag�?
1671
01:22:29,000 --> 01:22:30,079
-Why'd you call it...
-A rag� is
1672
01:22:30,160 --> 01:22:31,599
a spaghetti Bolognese, yes?
1673
01:22:31,680 --> 01:22:32,959
-The... The same.
-(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
1674
01:22:33,040 --> 01:22:36,079
Why didn't... Why don't you say
spaghetti Bolognese?
1675
01:22:36,160 --> 01:22:38,399
Because you had a spaghetti Bolognese.
That's sausage.
1676
01:22:38,480 --> 01:22:39,959
-It's horrible.
-It isn't horrible.
1677
01:22:47,800 --> 01:22:50,519
CLARKSON: The next morning,
we were faced with an exquisite
1678
01:22:50,600 --> 01:22:54,079
10-mile drive along the coast
towards Capri.
1679
01:22:54,560 --> 01:22:57,039
And neither of us could think
of a single modern car
1680
01:22:57,120 --> 01:22:59,039
that would capture the moment.
1681
01:22:59,480 --> 01:23:02,919
So we went for these two
classic Alfa Romeos.
1682
01:23:03,040 --> 01:23:05,679
A 1962 Touring Spider
1683
01:23:05,760 --> 01:23:09,359
and a 1963 Giulia Spider.
1684
01:23:15,400 --> 01:23:20,199
Oh! I don't think
we could've done any better.
1685
01:23:22,400 --> 01:23:25,599
Absolute proof that the right car,
1686
01:23:25,680 --> 01:23:29,959
in the right place, at the right moment
can add up to perfection.
1687
01:23:31,800 --> 01:23:33,879
This stretch of road,
we could've driven up and down
1688
01:23:33,960 --> 01:23:36,039
in any of the modern cars we've driven.
1689
01:23:36,120 --> 01:23:39,359
But we wanted something special,
and, boy, have we got it.
1690
01:23:39,520 --> 01:23:40,799
Alfas.
1691
01:23:45,480 --> 01:23:48,399
The Alfa Romeo 4C can trace its roots
1692
01:23:48,480 --> 01:23:51,799
back to this car, the Giulia Spider.
1693
01:23:52,520 --> 01:23:57,519
This is the dream on which
all motoring dreams are built.
1694
01:24:00,160 --> 01:24:03,679
I know what you're seeing
is a short Brummie
1695
01:24:03,760 --> 01:24:05,759
in a borrowed Italian car.
1696
01:24:06,280 --> 01:24:09,559
But the image in my mind
is completely different. Clark Gable.
1697
01:24:10,640 --> 01:24:13,559
Even Jeremy's pulling that off,
in that car.
1698
01:24:13,640 --> 01:24:16,799
CLARKSON: In my mind, I'm Edward Fox.
I'm Sofia Loren.
1699
01:24:18,240 --> 01:24:21,279
I'm Grace... No, I'm not Grace Kelly.
She plummeted to her death
1700
01:24:21,360 --> 01:24:22,999
off a road very similar to this.
1701
01:24:27,880 --> 01:24:31,279
It's funny, isn't it? You can sail
through a beautiful bit of scenery,
1702
01:24:31,680 --> 01:24:35,199
looking at it and admiring it,
or in a car like this,
1703
01:24:35,600 --> 01:24:38,319
you can become part of that scene.
1704
01:24:39,600 --> 01:24:43,439
My love of cars was born
from imagery like this.
1705
01:24:43,800 --> 01:24:47,319
A mountain road, a soft-top Alfa,
a blue sky, the sea.
1706
01:24:48,160 --> 01:24:50,999
It's hard to think really
how I could be happier
1707
01:24:51,480 --> 01:24:53,399
in a car than I am now.
1708
01:24:56,600 --> 01:25:00,439
Then I remembered that actually,
there was something missing.
1709
01:25:00,960 --> 01:25:04,279
It's time to cue the Monro, now.
1710
01:25:04,600 --> 01:25:07,359
(OLD ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
1711
01:25:12,680 --> 01:25:17,159
This is the perfect base
of the perfect road trip.
1712
01:25:19,280 --> 01:25:21,439
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
1713
01:25:35,480 --> 01:25:39,639
Soon, we arrived at the hotel
from where we would sail to Capri.
1714
01:25:45,280 --> 01:25:49,599
And celebrated with a glass of lemonade
and a game of tennis.
1715
01:25:53,760 --> 01:25:54,839
Argh!
1716
01:25:55,880 --> 01:25:57,119
I didn't even see it.
1717
01:25:57,200 --> 01:25:58,559
That was exciting.
1718
01:25:58,640 --> 01:26:01,599
15-love, I'm never gonna get that back,
am I? That was well done, well played.
1719
01:26:01,680 --> 01:26:03,039
-Yeah, I know. Cheers, mate, thanks.
-Yeah.
1720
01:26:03,200 --> 01:26:04,199
Good game.
1721
01:26:04,360 --> 01:26:06,679
-There's no clawing that back.
-No, not really.
1722
01:26:07,560 --> 01:26:09,919
After our epic 28-second match,
1723
01:26:10,000 --> 01:26:12,599
we had more lemonade and an argument.
1724
01:26:13,840 --> 01:26:16,319
What delicious lemonade!
I've never had better lemonade.
1725
01:26:16,400 --> 01:26:18,239
It's the very best I've ever tasted.
1726
01:26:18,320 --> 01:26:19,439
Mmm.
1727
01:26:19,520 --> 01:26:22,719
And this afternoon, I shall be driving
1728
01:26:22,800 --> 01:26:25,359
a three-litre Capri
on the island of Capri.
1729
01:26:25,640 --> 01:26:27,759
Oh, hang on.
No, there's only one three-litre.
1730
01:26:27,880 --> 01:26:30,199
-I know.
-Oh, why should you have it?
1731
01:26:30,360 --> 01:26:32,839
-'Cause you can have the 2.8.
-Well, you have a 2.8. I'd rather...
1732
01:26:33,080 --> 01:26:34,319
2.8 is more powerful.
1733
01:26:34,440 --> 01:26:37,919
The 2.8 is more powerful,
and you like power, etcetera...
1734
01:26:38,000 --> 01:26:40,359
Yes, I know, but the three-litre's
got carburettors, yours, you...
1735
01:26:40,440 --> 01:26:41,439
I want the three-litre 'cause...
1736
01:26:41,520 --> 01:26:43,039
You've got a fuel injection?
1737
01:26:43,320 --> 01:26:45,479
I don't want fuel injection.
I want cars, it's a classic car.
1738
01:26:45,680 --> 01:26:47,159
No, no. The 2.8 is classic.
1739
01:26:47,400 --> 01:26:49,199
You know, you want a Capri 2.8.
1740
01:26:49,280 --> 01:26:50,399
-No.
-You do.
1741
01:26:50,480 --> 01:26:51,479
I don't.
1742
01:26:52,080 --> 01:26:54,879
CLARKSON: And so, we hatched a plan.
1743
01:26:55,240 --> 01:26:57,359
Here is what is gonna happen.
1744
01:26:57,440 --> 01:27:01,199
We're gonna get a couple of speedboats.
And we're gonna race to Capri.
1745
01:27:01,800 --> 01:27:04,239
And whoever gets there first
has the three-litre.
1746
01:27:04,400 --> 01:27:07,799
Yeah, can I make it perfectly plain?
This was his idea.
1747
01:27:08,040 --> 01:27:10,839
He thought of it
because I can't drive a boat.
1748
01:27:11,160 --> 01:27:12,879
Well, that's your fault.
You should've thought of that.
1749
01:27:12,960 --> 01:27:15,519
Well, it was your idea.
I wouldn't have planned a boat race.
1750
01:27:15,600 --> 01:27:16,839
We hatched the plan.
1751
01:27:16,920 --> 01:27:20,599
No, we didn't. You hatched the plan
because I can't drive a boat.
1752
01:27:20,840 --> 01:27:21,999
It's not difficult.
1753
01:27:23,840 --> 01:27:28,239
Unfortunately, for the man
from Birmingham, it was.
1754
01:27:28,320 --> 01:27:30,799
-Are you ready?
-No, I'm not.
1755
01:27:31,440 --> 01:27:32,439
Why not?
1756
01:27:32,560 --> 01:27:33,879
I don't know how to work it.
1757
01:27:34,120 --> 01:27:36,959
You've got those two throttles,
there's forwards and backwards.
1758
01:27:37,040 --> 01:27:40,159
It's twin screw. You've got
flaps, that's for trimming it out.
1759
01:27:40,400 --> 01:27:43,879
As you go up, the nose of the boat will
want to rise, you put the flaps down,
1760
01:27:43,960 --> 01:27:45,999
and it brings the nose down
and gets you on the plane.
1761
01:27:47,200 --> 01:27:50,439
I'm not on a plane. Why have I
got flaps? They are on planes.
1762
01:27:50,720 --> 01:27:52,039
CLARKSON: Are you ready?
1763
01:27:52,200 --> 01:27:53,879
HAMMOND: No, I'm still not ready.
1764
01:27:53,960 --> 01:27:56,919
This steering, is it true that you steer
the opposite way on a boat?
1765
01:27:57,000 --> 01:27:58,679
If you wanna go left, you steer right.
1766
01:27:59,560 --> 01:28:01,639
Yes, that's true. The man's an idiot!
1767
01:28:02,520 --> 01:28:05,679
Two throttles, that's these levers.
Forwards is forwards, I presume.
1768
01:28:05,960 --> 01:28:08,519
James Bond doesn't do this
when he gets on a speedboat.
1769
01:28:08,600 --> 01:28:09,799
He just goes!
1770
01:28:09,920 --> 01:28:14,039
Are you ready? In three, two, one. Go!
1771
01:28:17,760 --> 01:28:19,079
Yes!
1772
01:28:23,480 --> 01:28:26,279
God, this is what I call motoring now.
1773
01:28:29,120 --> 01:28:30,519
I'm scared.
1774
01:28:30,640 --> 01:28:32,079
Unleash the power.
1775
01:28:38,480 --> 01:28:41,599
Uhh! Oh, this is nerve-wracking.
1776
01:28:42,440 --> 01:28:45,399
I wanna drive that three-litre Capri
1777
01:28:45,480 --> 01:28:47,559
on Capri. I don't want the 2.8.
1778
01:28:49,520 --> 01:28:52,439
Massive waves there. Don't like those.
1779
01:28:53,120 --> 01:28:54,799
Why are they there? Oh!
1780
01:28:55,360 --> 01:28:56,599
Oh, this is terrible!
1781
01:28:57,200 --> 01:29:00,079
Struggling, yes,
he's far, far behind now.
1782
01:29:00,560 --> 01:29:02,159
A speck, frankly.
1783
01:29:03,280 --> 01:29:06,559
This is Thunder Rider One
to Inappropriate Stork,
1784
01:29:06,640 --> 01:29:07,959
how're you doing?
1785
01:29:08,320 --> 01:29:10,119
That's not the name of my boat.
1786
01:29:10,560 --> 01:29:13,159
I'm doing 2.3 a side. What about you?
1787
01:29:13,640 --> 01:29:15,279
I don't know what you're talking about.
1788
01:29:15,520 --> 01:29:18,039
Look at the rev counters,
you blithering idiot!
1789
01:29:20,080 --> 01:29:22,199
Oh, I don't like this. Oh, my God!
1790
01:29:25,160 --> 01:29:28,719
Victory is mine,
the three-litre is mine.
1791
01:29:33,720 --> 01:29:37,439
The only trouble was,
the island that I was racing towards
1792
01:29:37,520 --> 01:29:40,039
didn't look anything like Capri.
1793
01:29:41,840 --> 01:29:43,999
Now, Capri, it's not that.
1794
01:29:45,400 --> 01:29:47,559
It's not that. That's definitely Italy.
1795
01:29:49,040 --> 01:29:52,119
Somebody has stolen Capri,
it is missing.
1796
01:29:52,240 --> 01:29:53,519
It's gone!
1797
01:29:55,120 --> 01:29:57,399
HAMMOND:
While Jeremy was busy shouting...
1798
01:29:57,720 --> 01:29:59,799
I think that's Capri, over there!
1799
01:30:00,480 --> 01:30:03,159
...I was getting
more and more confident.
1800
01:30:03,560 --> 01:30:04,999
I'll be honest,
it's not all that difficult.
1801
01:30:05,080 --> 01:30:06,319
You just sort of
1802
01:30:06,560 --> 01:30:10,039
put these things forwards,
and, you know...
1803
01:30:10,320 --> 01:30:12,919
And before I knew it, I'd caught up.
1804
01:30:13,000 --> 01:30:15,039
And the race was back on.
1805
01:30:21,440 --> 01:30:23,879
CLARKSON:
With Capri now firmly in our sight,
1806
01:30:23,960 --> 01:30:27,079
it was a straight-line drag race
to the finish.
1807
01:30:27,680 --> 01:30:29,879
Oh, he's got some speed up now.
1808
01:30:30,160 --> 01:30:32,959
Here we go,
a sprint to the finish line.
1809
01:30:36,080 --> 01:30:37,399
Oh, yes!
1810
01:30:43,600 --> 01:30:45,399
HAMMOND: And then, weirdly,
1811
01:30:45,640 --> 01:30:47,719
I began to lose my lead.
1812
01:30:48,160 --> 01:30:49,639
Oh, what's that you did!
1813
01:30:50,240 --> 01:30:52,799
The speed!
1814
01:30:53,840 --> 01:30:56,399
Oh, God! How does that happen?
1815
01:30:57,040 --> 01:30:59,759
I think my boat's got
more powerful engines.
1816
01:31:13,920 --> 01:31:16,279
Our finishing line was the port.
1817
01:31:17,440 --> 01:31:20,479
A fact I'd forgotten to tell Hammond.
1818
01:31:21,040 --> 01:31:23,879
Victory is mine, all mine!
1819
01:31:24,120 --> 01:31:25,359
Where're you going?
1820
01:31:25,480 --> 01:31:27,359
I'm going to the port.
Where're you going?
1821
01:31:27,760 --> 01:31:30,159
Why isn't it signed, for God's sake?
1822
01:31:32,320 --> 01:31:35,079
CLARKSON: And with that,
it was time to fess up.
1823
01:31:36,120 --> 01:31:39,719
Hammond, do you know how many
horsepower your boat has got?
1824
01:31:40,240 --> 01:31:41,239
No, how many?
1825
01:31:41,920 --> 01:31:43,439
500.
1826
01:31:43,840 --> 01:31:45,159
Wow, how many have you got?
1827
01:31:46,080 --> 01:31:47,159
700.
1828
01:31:47,640 --> 01:31:49,279
Oh, for God's sake!
1829
01:31:51,520 --> 01:31:52,639
Cheating...
1830
01:31:52,720 --> 01:31:54,239
(HORN BLOWS)
1831
01:31:54,520 --> 01:31:56,279
Ferry, massive ferry.
1832
01:32:00,400 --> 01:32:03,959
CLARKSON: Eventually, after Hammond
got a man to help him park his boat...
1833
01:32:04,080 --> 01:32:06,159
Better reverse, better reverse.
1834
01:32:06,320 --> 01:32:09,119
...we were introduced to our Capris.
1835
01:32:14,000 --> 01:32:16,399
-They are beautiful.
-HAMMOND: Gorgeous cars.
1836
01:32:20,760 --> 01:32:22,159
-This is it, Hammond.
-Yeah.
1837
01:32:22,240 --> 01:32:25,239
This is it.
This is the realisation of a dream.
1838
01:32:25,480 --> 01:32:28,159
I'm actually pleased I've got this one.
1839
01:32:28,680 --> 01:32:30,599
'Cause this is the one
that resonates more for me.
1840
01:32:30,720 --> 01:32:33,279
Because I'm younger than you,
this is what I think of.
1841
01:32:33,520 --> 01:32:36,519
The fact is, we both have Capris
and this is Capri.
1842
01:32:36,640 --> 01:32:39,399
This is gonna be
one of the best afternoons ever!
1843
01:32:39,560 --> 01:32:40,559
We've done it.
1844
01:32:41,600 --> 01:32:43,399
-(ENGINE REVS)
-Listen to that!
1845
01:32:43,480 --> 01:32:46,559
The sweet music of Dagenham!
1846
01:32:48,680 --> 01:32:50,719
(TYRES SCREECHING)
1847
01:32:56,760 --> 01:33:00,519
Unfortunately, once again,
our perfect road trip
1848
01:33:00,720 --> 01:33:02,879
had come to a premature end.
1849
01:33:03,080 --> 01:33:04,879
It's the car, does that.
1850
01:33:05,000 --> 01:33:07,359
I didn't wanna do that. It was him.
I didn't wanna... I didn't...
1851
01:33:07,440 --> 01:33:08,799
-I never drive.
-Hammond, shh!
1852
01:33:08,960 --> 01:33:10,279
OFFICER: Cross on Y...
1853
01:33:10,400 --> 01:33:13,679
HAMMOND: Jeremy then spoke
to the officers in Italian.
1854
01:33:13,760 --> 01:33:15,599
Which made everything worse.
1855
01:33:16,760 --> 01:33:18,639
(CLANKING)
1856
01:33:18,840 --> 01:33:20,199
A lot worse.
1857
01:33:23,160 --> 01:33:24,359
(METAL DOOR SHUTS)
1858
01:33:24,440 --> 01:33:27,279
You, total plum sack!
1859
01:34:22,800 --> 01:34:25,239
Would it be possible
to get a cup of tea?
1860
01:34:26,560 --> 01:34:27,559
(DOOR SLAMMING)
1860
01:35:26,560 --> 01:37:27,559
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