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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,828 --> 00:00:05,048 Triumph: "THE JACK AND TRIUMPH SHOW" 2 00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:07,485 IS TAPED IN FRONT OF THE WORLD'S LARGEST NECK BEARD. 3 00:00:07,572 --> 00:00:10,012 ♪ BA-DA, BA-DA-DEE-DO-DEE-DA-DA ♪ 4 00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:11,317 HEY, JUNIE, LOOK. 5 00:00:11,402 --> 00:00:12,802 ♪ BA-DA-DEE-DO-DEE-DO 6 00:00:12,882 --> 00:00:15,842 YOU GOT ANOTHER ANIMAL AWARD IN THE MAIL. 7 00:00:15,928 --> 00:00:18,978 THE AMERICAN SOCIETY TO MAKE ALL WOLVES VEGETARIANS 8 00:00:19,062 --> 00:00:21,632 CERTAINLY HAS TASTE. 9 00:00:21,717 --> 00:00:23,977 YOU CAN MAKE WOLVES STOP EATING MEAT? 10 00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,417 OH, YES, YOU CAN. 11 00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:28,253 FOR ABOUT A WEEK, AND THEN THEY DIE. 12 00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:31,162 BUT WE'RE MAKING PROGRESS. 13 00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:34,248 "JUNE GREGORY, STAR OF 'TRIUMPH'S BOY.'" 14 00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:35,508 [ LAUGHS ] WAIT. 15 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,040 WHAT'S "TRIUMPH'S BOY"? 16 00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:40,264 OH, THAT'S A TV SHOW THAT WE ALL WERE IN. 17 00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:42,524 OH, PROBABLY BEFORE YOUR TIME. 18 00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:44,607 IT WAS ABOUT A BOY AND HIS DOG. 19 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,176 OH. LIKE "LASSIE." 20 00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,833 [ SIGHS ] 21 00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:51,178 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS. 22 00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:54,968 BUT I DO KNOW THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS FUN WHILE IT LASTED, 23 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,795 THAT PERIOD OF MY LIFE IS BEHIND ME, 24 00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:58,802 AND I'M BETTER OFF FOR IT. 25 00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:03,979 SHOW BUSINESS WASN'T TOO GOOD TO MY JACKY. 26 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,154 [ SIGHS ] 27 00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:08,329 [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] 28 00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:11,156 IT WAS A WHOLESOME FAMILY SHOW, 29 00:01:11,245 --> 00:01:13,065 AND WE ALL CARED ABOUT EACH OTHER 30 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:16,420 AS MUCH OFF-CAMERA AS WE DID ON IT. 31 00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:18,341 BUT AS THE YEARS WENT BY... 32 00:01:18,426 --> 00:01:21,646 TRIUMPH! 33 00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:24,393 June: ...JACK GREW FROM A BOY INTO A YOUNG MAN. 34 00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,295 TRIUMPH! 35 00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:28,350 June: WE RAN 11 SEASONS. 36 00:01:28,436 --> 00:01:30,346 TRIUMPH! 37 00:01:30,438 --> 00:01:32,268 June: NINE MIGHT HAVE BEEN BETTER. 38 00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:33,963 AFTER THE SHOW GOT CANCELLED, 39 00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:38,400 JACK HAD PLENTY OF FREE TIME AND PRECIOUS LITTLE GUIDANCE, 40 00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:40,579 EXCEPT FOR HIS FRIEND TRIUMPH. 41 00:01:40,665 --> 00:01:42,005 PEOPLE'S CHOICE NOMINEES -- TWO TIMES. 42 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,712 June: THEY RAN WITH SOME WILD PEOPLE, 43 00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:48,539 LIKE JOEY FATONE, TONY LITTLE, AND MICHAEL WINSLOW. 44 00:01:48,630 --> 00:01:50,810 JACK STILL HAD HIS INNER SWEETNESS, 45 00:01:50,893 --> 00:01:53,503 BUT HE HAD BEEN LED ASTRAY. 46 00:01:53,591 --> 00:01:55,511 MY GOODNESS, IT IS AMAZING 47 00:01:55,593 --> 00:01:58,943 WHAT YOU CAN HOLD DOWN WITH DUCT TAPE THESE DAYS. 48 00:01:59,031 --> 00:02:01,161 AROUND THIS TIME, IT WAS EXPLAINED TO ME...[ WHISTLES ] 49 00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:04,651 THAT MY PARENTS HAD SQUANDERED MY EARNINGS, 50 00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:07,433 BUT MY GOOD BUDDY TRIUMPH HELPED ME MAKE MY WAY. 51 00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:08,948 YOU LIKE? 52 00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:10,351 NICE. YES? 53 00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:15,528 WELL, THANK YOU FOR YOUR COURTESY. 54 00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:17,923 WITH CUSTOMERS LIKE YOU, I MAY USE MY HAND, 55 00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:20,357 BUT IT SURE DOESN'T FEEL LIKE A JOB. 56 00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:22,494 BUT IT WAS NEVER EASY, 57 00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:25,187 AND I DID THINGS I WASN'T PROUD OF. 58 00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:26,275 GIVE IT UP, GREASY. 59 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:27,843 ONCE WE BURNED OUR BRIDGES 60 00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:30,500 WITH BOTH THE BUSINESS AND THE HOMELESS COMMUNITIES, 61 00:02:30,585 --> 00:02:32,015 WE CAME HERE. 62 00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:36,025 I TOLD JACK, "YOU CAN STAY AS LONG AS YOU LIKE, 63 00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:38,382 BUT NO MORE SHOW BUSINESS." 64 00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:40,072 MOVING IN WITH JUNE AND TRIUMPH 65 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,470 WAS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME. 66 00:02:42,553 --> 00:02:45,603 WE WERE A REAL FAMILY. 67 00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:51,870 BUT THEN, SOMETHING HAPPENED. 68 00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:53,134 JUNE HAD ARRANGED FOR ME 69 00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:56,306 TO GO ON AN EXCITING TRIP WITH WILDERNESS BOUND. 70 00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:58,183 TRIUMPH COULDN'T GO BECAUSE... 71 00:02:58,265 --> 00:03:00,655 UH, BECAUSE DOGS HATE NATURE. 72 00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:03,175 WHICH I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT. 73 00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:06,100 THERE HE GOES. YES? HEY, TRIUMPH. 74 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:09,966 PetSmart'S HAVING A SALE ON USED KITTY LITTER. 75 00:03:10,059 --> 00:03:11,709 REALLY? I'M IN. 76 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:12,890 [ LAUGHS ] 77 00:03:12,975 --> 00:03:16,625 THAT AFTERNOON, TRIUMPH WENT OUT FOR CIGARS. 78 00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,758 [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]EVERYTHING OKAY BACK THERE? 79 00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:19,980 OH, YES. 80 00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:22,939 THIS GAME WHERE YOU REATTACH MARMADUKE'S NUTSACK -- 81 00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:24,158 IT'S INCREDIBLE! 82 00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:25,207 I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE IT. 83 00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:27,212 OH, I LOVE IT. 84 00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:29,564 HANG ON, MARMADUKE. 85 00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:32,654 YOU'LL REPRODUCE AGAIN YET. 86 00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:36,394 I WAITED AND WAITED FOR HIM TO COME HOME, 87 00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:40,957 BUT POOR, DEAR TRIUMPH NEVER CAME HOME AT ALL. 88 00:03:41,046 --> 00:03:42,396 [ Laughing ] THIS... 89 00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:44,143 [ MUSIC STOPS]BINGO! WHAT? 90 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,754 HEY. 91 00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:47,754 WAIT A MINUTE. 92 00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:49,616 THIS ISN'T PetSmart. 93 00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:51,707 GET OUT. 94 00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:53,446 GET OUT? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? 95 00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:54,407 HEY! 96 00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:56,015 HEY! [ GROWLS ] 97 00:03:56,105 --> 00:03:57,185 HEY! 98 00:03:59,108 --> 00:04:01,238 JUNE! 99 00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:06,198 THINK OF THIS LIKE YOU WERE IN A TWO-PIECE BATHING SUIT -- 100 00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:08,859 YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH IT. 101 00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:12,820 [ TIRES SQUEAL ] 102 00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:17,908 AND I'D HAVE TO SAY THE WORST PART 103 00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:21,566 WAS HAVING TO GIVE JACK THE BAD NEWS.[ DOOR OPENS ] 104 00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:23,052 JUNIE! 105 00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,262 [ LAUGHS ] 106 00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,091 [ SMOOCHES ] WHERE'S TRIUMPH? 107 00:04:26,178 --> 00:04:27,568 OH, TRIUMPH'S GONE.[ WHISTLES ] 108 00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:30,178 HE JUST LEFT THIS AFTERNOON. 109 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,660 HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT GETTING CIGARS? 110 00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:33,970 [ SIGHS ] 111 00:04:34,056 --> 00:04:36,746 [ Weakly ] JACK. 112 00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:38,801 [ SNIFFING ] 113 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,150 June: AND EVEN THOUGH WE NEVER FOUND OUT 114 00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:47,161 WHAT HAPPENED TO TRIUMPH, 115 00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:48,723 I WAS ABLE TO TEACH JACK 116 00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:52,160 ABOUT THE SIMPLE PLEASURES OF A NORMAL LIFE. 117 00:04:52,248 --> 00:04:54,638 THERE'S JUST SO MUCH IN THIS BIG WORLD 118 00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:58,169 THAT BEING A CHILD ACTOR DOESN'T PREPARE YOU FOR. 119 00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:08,704 AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, I STILL WONDER ABOUT TRIUMPH. 120 00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:10,786 [ SNIFFING ] 121 00:05:14,357 --> 00:05:15,747 [ BELL DINGS ] 122 00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:22,278 [ SNIFFING ] 123 00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:29,365 [ COIN JINGLES ] 124 00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:35,466 [ SNIFFING ] 125 00:05:40,035 --> 00:05:41,335 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 126 00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:43,128 Tracy: I'LL GET IT. 127 00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:48,350 LOOK! IT'S A DOG! 128 00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:52,958 JACK! 129 00:05:53,048 --> 00:05:55,048 TRIUMPH! 130 00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:58,617 JA-A-A-A-A-CK! 131 00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:01,226 AH! TRIUMPH! 132 00:06:01,317 --> 00:06:02,617 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 133 00:06:04,146 --> 00:06:05,406 I MISSED THIS. 134 00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:09,145 I MISSED THIS DISTURBING ACTIVITY SO MUCH. 135 00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:10,538 I'VE MISSED YOU! 136 00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:13,071 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?[ Laughing ] OH! 137 00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:14,975 YEAH, TRIUMPH. TELL US WHERE YOU'VE -- 138 00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:16,720 [ GASPS ] OH, NO. 139 00:06:16,811 --> 00:06:18,511 OH, THE ROOM IS SPINNING. 140 00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:20,245 OH. HUH? JUNE! 141 00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:21,506 JUNE, ARE YOU OKAY? 142 00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:23,378 I'M SO CONFUSED. 143 00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:26,910 CAN YOU GO UP TO MY ROOM AND FIND MY YELLOW PILLS? 144 00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:27,905 YES, MA'AM. YOU BET. 145 00:06:27,996 --> 00:06:31,386 UH, HELP HIM, TRACY. 146 00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:36,048 WHAT THE [BLEEP] ARE YOU DOING HERE? 147 00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:43,713 YOU MEAN WHY AREN'T I DEAD, YOU MURDERING BITCH?! 148 00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:45,844 MURDER? 149 00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:47,487 IF I WANTED YOU KILLED, 150 00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:51,111 I WOULD HAVE SPRINKLED RAT POISON ALL OVER YOUR BALLS. 151 00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:52,503 [ SCOFFS ] 152 00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,676 YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SMART. 153 00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:57,682 YOU MAY LOOK LIKE A TRANS MICHAEL MOORE, 154 00:06:57,765 --> 00:06:59,105 BUT I OUTFOXED YOU! 155 00:06:59,201 --> 00:07:01,941 [ Laughing ] YES. 156 00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:04,210 WHAT DO YOU WANT? MONEY? 157 00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:06,473 NOW, I'VE TOSSED ALL YOUR SEX TOYS. 158 00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:09,336 IF YOU'RE STILL LOOKING FOR THE PLASTER CAST 159 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,299 OF AL ROKER'S LEG, IT'S LONG GONE. 160 00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:17,442 YOU BITCH! 161 00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:22,054 THAT LEG WAS FROM THE FAT YEARS! 162 00:07:22,137 --> 00:07:24,787 THEY DON'T MAKE THOSE MODELS ANYMORE! 163 00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:26,579 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT. 164 00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:28,013 I'M MOVING IN. 165 00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:30,579 YOU THINK I'D LET YOU NEAR JACK AGAIN? 166 00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:31,967 YOU'RE INSANE. 167 00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:35,110 WHAT? HE NEEDS A MASCULINE INFLUENCE. 168 00:07:35,193 --> 00:07:37,463 AND WHATEVER YOU HAVE GROWING ON YOUR UPPER LIP 169 00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:38,634 DOESN'T COUNT. 170 00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:42,109 BEAT IT, ASSHOLE. 171 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:46,380 IF YOU DON'T GET OUT OF HERE NOW, I'M GONNA YELL "RAPE." 172 00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,301 WHY DON'T YOU YELL "BIGFOOT"? 173 00:07:50,382 --> 00:07:52,432 IT'S SLIGHTLY MORE BELIEVABLE. 174 00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:58,831 I'M JUST GONNA THROW YOU OUT. 175 00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:00,613 OOH! FINE, FINE. 176 00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:04,087 THEN I'LL JUST TELL JACK WHAT YOU DID TO ME. 177 00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:06,309 AND HE'LL KNOW YOU'RE A BIG PHONY... 178 00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:09,008 ANIMAL-RIGHTS BETTY WHITE. 179 00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:11,487 "LOOK AT ME."YOU WOULDN'T RAT ON ME. 180 00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:13,488 I THOUGHT YOU HAD PRIDE. 181 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:16,410 I GOT RID OF THAT OUTSIDE OF BILLINGS 182 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,536 WHEN I HAD TO BLOW A COYOTE FOR SHELTER! 183 00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:22,627 OKAY. 184 00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:24,849 Shh. 185 00:08:24,939 --> 00:08:26,679 JUNE. JUNE, WE FOUND YOUR PILLS. 186 00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,637 OH. NO, JACK. 187 00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:33,245 THOSE ARE DECORATIVE LEMONS, BUT THANK YOU. 188 00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:34,688 TELL HIM THE GOOD NEWS, JUNE! 189 00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,165 [ LAUGHS ] 190 00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:38,044 OH, RIGHT. OF COURSE. 191 00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:39,736 YOUR FRIEND TRIUMPH, 192 00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:43,523 THE SAME FRIEND WHO SOLD INTO WHITE SLAVERY 193 00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:47,960 TO PAY FOR HIS PREMIUM CABLE PACKAGE, 194 00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:50,179 IS GOING TO MOVE BACK IN WITH US. 195 00:08:50,268 --> 00:08:52,658 Triumph: YAY![ SQUEALS ] 196 00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,529 [ LAUGHS ]OH, TRIUMPH. 197 00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:55,711 [ PANTING ] 198 00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:56,926 YOU CAN COME STAY IN MY ROOM 199 00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:58,364 UNTIL WE GET YOUR OLD BED SET UP. 200 00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,540 OH, NO, NO. I'M GOOD, I'M GOOD. 201 00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:02,277 OH, MICHAEL. 202 00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:03,667 [ IMITATING DOORBELL ] 203 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,110 HI, EVERYBODY. 204 00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:06,676 MICHAEL WINSLOW?! 205 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,553 YES. 206 00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:13,121 FROM "POLICE ACADEMIES" ONE THROUGH SEVEN! 207 00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:15,644 YEP. MICHAEL AND I RAN INTO EACH OTHER 208 00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:20,779 WHILE DUMPSTER DIVING BEHIND A P.F. CHANG'S IN SCOTTSDALE. 209 00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:22,044 YEAH. REMEMBER THAT? 210 00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:23,606 [ MEOWING ] 211 00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:26,223 [ Asian accent ] CAT, GET BACK IN POT. YOU NOT DONE. 212 00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:30,533 YES. 213 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:34,443 MICHAEL CAN RE-CREATE ANY SOUND IN THE WORLD, 214 00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:38,140 EXCEPT THE SOUND OF A CASTING DIRECTOR SAYING YES. 215 00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:41,619 Jack: UH, HEY, JUNE. 216 00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:43,501 CAN I TAKE TRIUMPH UPSTAIRS TO SHOW HIM SOMETHING? 217 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:44,893 OH, SURE, JACK. 218 00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:46,145 [ Normal voice ] PERFECT. 219 00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:47,797 TIME FOR ME AND JUNE TO GET ACQUAINTED. 220 00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:49,591 [ LAUGHS ] 221 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:50,756 WHAT UP, GIRL? 222 00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:53,721 [ CHUCKLES ] 223 00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:56,290 OH, TRACY, THAT REMINDS ME. 224 00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:59,078 WHY DON'T YOU GO GET MY ANGINA BUTTER? 225 00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:03,909 LISTEN, NO MONKEY BUSINESS, WINSLOW. 226 00:10:03,994 --> 00:10:07,394 THIS STATE HAS VERY TOUGH NECROPHILIA LAWS. 227 00:10:09,086 --> 00:10:10,696 COME ON, BUDDY. 228 00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:13,744 JACK, UH, LEAVE YOUR DOOR OPEN. 229 00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,090 I WANT TO BE ABLE 230 00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:17,659 TO HEAR EVERYTHING THAT DOG'S TELLING YOU. 231 00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:19,097 GREAT. 232 00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:21,753 SO I CAN HEAR MICHAEL BEATBOX INTO THAT ECHO CHAMBER 233 00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,058 YOU CALL A VAGINA? 234 00:10:23,144 --> 00:10:25,634 ABSOLUTELY NOT! 235 00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,242 GO! 236 00:10:27,322 --> 00:10:29,022 [ IMITATING VIDEO GAME ENDING ] 237 00:10:29,106 --> 00:10:31,366 WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST 15 YEARS? 238 00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:32,496 [ SIGHS ] 239 00:10:32,588 --> 00:10:36,238 YOU KNOW -- JUST BEING HAPPY WITH WHAT I HAVE 240 00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:39,731 AND NOT PRAYING FOR THE DEATH OF BIG-TIME ANIMAL STARS 241 00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:42,293 LIKE THE HORSE FROM "WAR HORSE"... 242 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:47,430 OR THOSE TALENTED DEFORMED CATS ON YouTube... 243 00:10:47,516 --> 00:10:50,736 OR NANCY GRACE. 244 00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:52,434 WELL, GOOD FOR YOU. 245 00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:54,831 AND YOU. YOU WORK AT THE MUSEUM NOW, HUH? 246 00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:55,995 THAT MUST BE COOL. 247 00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:57,740 YOU MUST BE SWIMMING IN LANYARDS. 248 00:10:57,831 --> 00:10:59,531 WELL... 249 00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:00,825 I CAN'T LIE. 250 00:11:00,921 --> 00:11:02,441 IT'S PRETTY AMAZING. 251 00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:04,661 LATELY, I THINK I'VE SORT OF BECOME THE GUY 252 00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:05,971 EVERYONE KNOWS TO ASK 253 00:11:06,056 --> 00:11:08,486 WHEN THEY WANT TO KNOW WHERE THE BATHROOM IS. 254 00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:11,190 I'M PROUD OF YOU. 255 00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:13,979 YOU'RE DOING WORK THAT IS USUALLY ONLY RESERVED 256 00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:16,504 FOR SENIOR CITIZENS OR SIGNS. 257 00:11:16,588 --> 00:11:20,328 YOU KNOW WHAT I SOMETIMES MISSED, THOUGH, YOU KNOW -- 258 00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:23,378 I DON'T KNOW -- OCCASIONALLY, ALSO IS, UH, ACTING. 259 00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,115 ACTING? UGH. NO. 260 00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:27,426 THAT WAS A LIFE FULL OF SIN, EGO, 261 00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:31,692 AND UNINVITED BACK RUBS FROM AARON SPELLING. 262 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:34,038 I DON'T MISS THAT ONE BIT. 263 00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:36,298 [ SQUEALS ] [ LAUGHS ] 264 00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:39,391 OH, GOSH, MICHAEL. YOU MAKE ME LAUGH. 265 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:41,401 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 266 00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:43,793 AND I DON'T MEAN THE NERVOUS LAUGH I GET 267 00:11:43,877 --> 00:11:47,267 AROUND MOST BLACK MEN. 268 00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:49,708 [ LAUGHS ] 269 00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:50,926 WELL, CAREFUL, BABY. 270 00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:52,324 YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME A SWELLED HEAD. 271 00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:53,497 [ LAUGHS ] 272 00:11:53,582 --> 00:11:56,632 NOT AS SWOLLEN AS MY ANKLES. 273 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,066 [ LAUGHS ] 274 00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:01,943 [ French accent ] IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE NEEDS A MASSAGE. 275 00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:03,845 [ Laughing ] OH. 276 00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:06,940 [ HUMMING YOGA MUSIC ] 277 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:17,946 AH. 278 00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:19,171 LOOK. 279 00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:22,920 IT'S ALL OUR OLD STUFF FROM "TRIUMPH'S BOY." OH. 280 00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:25,353 BUT I THOUGHT JUNE DIDN'T LET YOU KEEP MEMENTOS. 281 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:28,920 WELL, I HAVEN'T EXACTLY TOLD JUNE ABOUT THIS, 282 00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:32,009 BUT I LIKE SOME OF THESE OLD MEMORIES. 283 00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:33,399 HEY, LOOK. 284 00:12:33,491 --> 00:12:37,631 IT'S THE WIRE THEY USED TO WRAP AROUND MY TESTICLES 285 00:12:37,713 --> 00:12:40,063 TO GET ME TO PANT ON CUE. 286 00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:41,060 YEP. 287 00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:43,551 [ CELLPHONE CHIMES ]OH. 288 00:12:43,632 --> 00:12:45,552 OH. YIKES. IT'S 8:30. 289 00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:47,074 I GOT TO GET TO THE MUSEUM. 290 00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:50,157 THAT INFORMATION DESK DOESN'T SIT QUIETLY BY ITSELF. 291 00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:51,807 [ LAUGHS ] 292 00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:54,081 COME ON, BUDDY. 293 00:12:55,731 --> 00:12:58,081 JUG-BLOWING JACKRABBITS. 294 00:12:58,168 --> 00:12:59,868 TRIUMPH! 295 00:12:59,953 --> 00:13:01,613 WE'VE BEEN ROBBED! 296 00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:04,263 JUNE. JUNE, WHO DID THIS TO YOU? 297 00:13:04,348 --> 00:13:05,478 OH, YES. 298 00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:08,307 WINSLOW, MAGIC HANDS. 299 00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:09,606 WAIT. 300 00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,181 A NOTE. 301 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,060 "IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR FURNITURE AGAIN, 302 00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:21,015 "BRING $2,000 TO THE VONS ON SUNSET. 303 00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:23,194 "ASK THE MANAGER TO SEE DR. W. 304 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,810 "I WILL COME OUT MAKING A CREAKING-DOOR SOUND. 305 00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,202 "YOU WILL GIVE ME THE MONEY, 306 00:13:27,284 --> 00:13:29,814 "AND I WILL MAKE A CASH-REGISTER CHA-CHING SOUND. 307 00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,326 "THEN I WILL GIVE YOU THE FURNITURE. 308 00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:33,379 SORRY. I DON'T HAVE A FURNITURE SOUND." 309 00:13:33,464 --> 00:13:36,904 YOURS, MICHAEL 'SPUTTERING NONSENSE NOISE' WINSLOW." 310 00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:39,600 [ SIGHS ] $2,000? 311 00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:41,038 I CAN'T AFFORD THAT. 312 00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:42,654 WAIT A MINUTE. 313 00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:43,914 ON THE WAY HERE, 314 00:13:43,997 --> 00:13:46,697 I SAW AN AUTOGRAPH CONVENTION AT THE HYATT. 315 00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:49,442 THERE'S PROBABLY SOME FANS OF OUR OLD SHOW. 316 00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:51,004 WE COULD SELL OUR AUTOGRAPHS 317 00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:53,831 AND MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY BACK THE FURNITURE. 318 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,530 TRIUMPH, THAT'S ACTUALLY -- 319 00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:58,928 [ CLICKS TONGUE ] NO, NO. I CAN'T. 320 00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:02,232 I MADE A PROMISE TO JUNE TO STAY OUT OF SHOW BUSINESS. 321 00:14:02,319 --> 00:14:04,839 IF I SIGNED AUTOGRAPHS WITH YOU, IT WOULD BREAK HER HEART. 322 00:14:04,931 --> 00:14:06,321 BUT HOLD ON, HOLD ON. 323 00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:10,070 AS SOON AS YOU'RE DONE, YOU CAN QUIT SHOW BUSINESS AGAIN. 324 00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:11,503 SHE'D LOVE THAT. 325 00:14:11,589 --> 00:14:12,719 YOU'RE RIGHT. 326 00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:15,418 SHE LOVES IT WHEN I QUIT SHOW BUSINESS. 327 00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:17,856 OKAY. I'LL DO IT, FOR JUNE. 328 00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:29,217 ALL RIGHT. WE'RE BACK IN THE GAME! 329 00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:31,703 I MEAN, TO GET THE FURNITURE BACK, IS WHY. 330 00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:33,353 WE GOT TO FIND A PLACE TO GO. 331 00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:34,527 WAIT. 332 00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:36,272 NOW, WHO'S THIS GUY? 333 00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:37,443 I'M TAY ZONDAY. 334 00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:39,268 I DID A SONG ON THE INTERNET.OF COURSE. 335 00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:40,876 WHAT? YOU DO WHAT? 336 00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:42,617 ♪ CHOCOLATE RAIN 337 00:14:42,707 --> 00:14:44,487 HOLY SHIT. 338 00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:45,799 SORRY FOR STARING AT YOU. 339 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,625 I DON'T MEAN TO STARE, TAY. IT'S -- 340 00:14:47,712 --> 00:14:49,982 IT'S JUST USUALLY WHEN I SEE SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE YOU, 341 00:14:50,063 --> 00:14:52,463 HE'S SITTING ON A VENTRILOQUIST'S LAP. 342 00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:53,723 OH. 343 00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:55,195 BUT, LOOK, JACK. LOOK WHAT'S OVER HERE. 344 00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:57,635 WHAT ISTHAT?LOOK AT THIS. 345 00:14:57,722 --> 00:15:00,642 THIS IS ALL OUR STUFF. YES. 346 00:15:00,725 --> 00:15:02,075 DID THEY KNOW WE WERE COMING? 347 00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:03,642 WHAT? NO. 348 00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:07,428 A LOT OF TIME, THEY JUST SET THESE BOOTHS UP JUST IN CASE.OH. 349 00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:09,865 YOU KNOW, ONE YEAR, HELEN HUNT SHOWED UP, 350 00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:12,042 AND WHEN SHE SAW THERE WAS NO "MAD ABOUT YOU" BOOTH, 351 00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:14,608 SHE WENT ON A SHOOTING SPREE. OH. 352 00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:16,256 WELL, I GUESS WITH ALL THE JOY 353 00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:18,660 THAT SHE BROUGHT TO THE WORLD, IT SORT OF EVENED OUT. 354 00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:19,923 YEAH. EXACTLY. 355 00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:22,266 STEP RIGHT UP, FOLKS. 356 00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:25,186 "TRIUMPH'S BOY" -- ORIGINAL STARS. 357 00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:29,022 JACK MLICKI, FORMER CHILD STAR. YEAH. 358 00:15:29,102 --> 00:15:31,712 WENT THROUGH SOME HARD TIMES. 359 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:35,150 HAD SEX WITH ASIAN BUSINESSMEN. 360 00:15:35,238 --> 00:15:37,368 NOTHING? 361 00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:38,588 THIS IS INSANE! 362 00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:40,636 ALL RIGHT. WE'VE GOT TO SHOW THESE PEOPLE 363 00:15:40,722 --> 00:15:43,072 THE KIND OF LOSERS THEY'RE LINING UP FOR. 364 00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,599 OKAY. 365 00:15:44,682 --> 00:15:46,032 OH, LOOK AT THIS. IT'S HULK HOGAN. 366 00:15:46,119 --> 00:15:47,079 HEY, HULK. 367 00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:49,343 WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FIGHT MOVE NOW? 368 00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:52,996 THE SUPLEX OR THE DENNY'S CUSTOMER COMPLAINT E-MAIL? 369 00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:55,822 OH, LOOK AT THIS. OKAY. 370 00:15:55,911 --> 00:15:58,781 JUDGING BY THE FANS, I GUESS HULKAMANIA 371 00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,960 IS SOME FORM OF TYPE 2 DIABETES. 372 00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:04,785 I'M SORRY. I'M SURE YOU GET ASKED THIS ALL THE TIME, 373 00:16:04,876 --> 00:16:06,266 BUT WHO THE [BLEEP] ARE YOU? 374 00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:07,656 YEAH. UH, HERE. 375 00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:09,879 MAN, IF THIS WILL HELP, UH, EXPLAIN IT... 376 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,579 THAT'S IT. YEAH. 377 00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:14,226 YOU'RE -- YOU'RE -- YOU'RE, UH, DATA. 378 00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:15,451 THAT'S CORRECT. 379 00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:16,849 DO YOU NEED A LIGHT? 380 00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:18,892 NO, NO. I'M GOOD. I'M JUST TRANSFIXED BY YOU. 381 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,238 YOU LIKE TO CHEW ON IT. 382 00:16:20,327 --> 00:16:22,977 I'M THINKING OF THE OLD DATA FROM THE '80s. 383 00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:25,509 YOU'VE CLEARLY BEEN AGING AT WARP SPEED. 384 00:16:25,593 --> 00:16:27,993 I HAVE TO SAY, I REALLY ADMIRE YOU, 385 00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:30,994 BECAUSE IN 15 YEARS...YES? 386 00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:33,637 ...YOU KNOW, YOU DID "STAR TREK" FOR ALL THOSE YEARS, 387 00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:34,951 AND YET, AFTER IT WENT OFF, 388 00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:36,427 YOU NEVER BECAME A VICTIM OF TYPECASTING. 389 00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:37,947 NO, IT'S TRUE. 390 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,870 OR ANY CASTING FOR THAT MATTER.NO, IT'S TRUE. 391 00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:42,305 GOOD NEWS IS, THERE'S A PARALLEL UNIVERSE 392 00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:43,652 WHERE YOU'RE STILL WORKING. 393 00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:47,181 [ LAUGHS ] 394 00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:49,137 OH. THERE WE GO. 395 00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:51,355 OKAY. STEP RIGHT UP. 396 00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:54,615 FORMER CHILD STAR JACK MLICKI. 397 00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:57,929 HAPPY ENDING WITH THE FORMER CHILD STAR. 398 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,017 COME ON. WHAT'S THE DEAL? 399 00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:01,716 OKAY. LET'S GET THIS IN HERE. 400 00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:03,113 THEY'RE SCARED. 401 00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:06,026 THEY NEED TO BE SUCKERED IN -- THE CHEAP STUFF. 402 00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:09,684 [ LAUGHS ] 403 00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:12,117 LOOK WHAT WE'RE DOING FOR JUNE.YOU'RE RIGHT. 404 00:17:15,817 --> 00:17:18,037 THERE YOU ARE.THANK YOU. 405 00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:22,349 GET UP. GET UP HERE. 406 00:17:22,432 --> 00:17:24,392 HERE WE GO.I'M YOUR MOMMY. 407 00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:26,258 OKAY. PUT THESE ON.UH... 408 00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:27,609 THIS IS IT. 409 00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:28,788 YES. [ SIGHS ] 410 00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:30,443 YOU HAVE TO BE [LAUGHS] 411 00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:31,827 HE'S [LAUGHS] 412 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,920 [ Laughing ] WHAT IS WRONG? IT'S FOR JUNE. 413 00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:35,359 IT'S FOR JUNE. 414 00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:37,525 JUST TRY AND THINK THAT.OH, MY GOD. THIS IS HILARIOUS. 415 00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:40,061 THINK THAT. HE PAID 25 BUCKS FOR THIS. 416 00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:41,316 LOOK HAPPY. 417 00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:42,928 [ CROWD CHEERING ]YES. YES. 418 00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:45,408 NO TEETH, NO TEETH. NICE. 419 00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,239 YES, YES, YES. 420 00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:49,937 SUCK ON THAT, CHOCOLATE RAIN. 421 00:17:50,025 --> 00:17:52,065 WE REALLY CAME THROUGH FOR JUNE, TRIUMPH. 422 00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:53,248 WE SURE DID. 423 00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:55,423 DOESN'T IT FEEL GREAT?IT DOES. 424 00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:57,769 AND WE'RE IN SHOW BUSINESS, BUT MOSTLY, IT'S JUNE. 425 00:17:57,859 --> 00:18:00,339 AMEN. GREAT! 426 00:18:00,427 --> 00:18:02,207 [ GASPS ] OH, NO. 427 00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:05,478 IT'S THAT THIEF I ALWAYS CONFUSE WITH ERNIE HUDSON. 428 00:18:05,562 --> 00:18:08,912 HEY, WINSLOW. HOW'S IT GOING? 429 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,050 PRETTY GOOD, MAN. 430 00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:11,482 UM, "POLICE ACADEMY" TABLE 431 00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:12,828 FROM "ACADEMY 4" OVER HERE. 432 00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:14,877 "SPACEBALLS" COUCH OVER HERE. 433 00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:16,533 UH, OKAY. WAIT A SECOND. 434 00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:18,137 ARE YOU TWO IN CAHOOTS? 435 00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:19,357 OH, DON'T WORRY. 436 00:18:19,446 --> 00:18:21,666 WINSLOW'S CUTTING US IN -- 50/50. 437 00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:23,102 [ IMITATES BUZZER ] UNH-UNH. 438 00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:24,669 YOU SAID 70/30, MAN. 439 00:18:24,755 --> 00:18:27,015 BULLSHIT! IT'S MYFURNITURE. 440 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,626 UH, ACTUALLY, IT'S JUNIE'SFURNITURE. 441 00:18:29,717 --> 00:18:31,017 [ IMITATES GUN COCKING ] 442 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,680 YOU FEEL LUCKY? 443 00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:35,944 TRIUMPH, WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THIS DUDE? 444 00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:37,547 ALL RIGHT. [ IMITATING SWITCHBLADE OPENING ] 445 00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:40,768 [ Asian accent ] YOU NO PAY, YOU DIE, ROUND EYES. 446 00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:42,028 OH, NO. 447 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:45,211 HE'S HITTING US WITH HIS MOST TERRIFYING WEAPON. 448 00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:46,208 KARATE? 449 00:18:46,299 --> 00:18:47,299 NO. 450 00:18:47,387 --> 00:18:50,347 COMEDY FROM 1983. 451 00:18:52,305 --> 00:18:53,825 WOW. 452 00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:55,305 DAMN YOU. 453 00:18:55,395 --> 00:18:58,215 HE MUST HAVE GONE FULL-ON CRAZY 454 00:18:58,311 --> 00:18:59,621 WHEN STEVEN GUTTENBERG 455 00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:02,183 STOPPED ANSWERING HIS CALLS 20 YEARS AGO. 456 00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:03,841 YOU NO GOOD, I NO GOOD... 457 00:19:03,925 --> 00:19:05,055 EITHER. 458 00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:07,362 [ IMITATING GUN COCKING ] 459 00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:08,800 PLEASE, JACK, AVERT YOUR EYES. 460 00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:10,886 [ BREATHES DEEPLY ] NO, TRIUMPH. 461 00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:15,015 NOBODY IMAGINARILY THREATENS MY BEST FRIEND. 462 00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:16,330 [ SPUTTERING ] 463 00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:18,236 [ GROANING ] 464 00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:20,121 [ GRUNTS ] 465 00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:22,162 PUT DOWN THE IMAGINARY GUN 466 00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:24,768 AND THE IMAGINARY KNIFE, WINSLOW. 467 00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:27,909 THERE'S A 10-SECOND COUNTDOWN ON THIS DETONATOR. 468 00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:29,082 YOU PUT THEM DOWN, 469 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,868 OR I WILL BLOW THIS PLACE TO SMITHEREENS! 470 00:19:30,952 --> 00:19:31,952 [ IMITATING BEEP ] 471 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,390 [ British accent ] COUNTDOWN INITIATED. 472 00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:34,646 [ IMITATING BEEP ] 473 00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:37,828 10 [CLICKS TONGUE] 9 [CLICKS TONGUE] 8... 474 00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:39,735 WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS GOING ON? 475 00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:43,972 IT'S THE POWER OF IMAGINATION, TRIUMPH. 476 00:19:44,052 --> 00:19:46,272 ...6 [CLICKS TONGUE] 5 [CLICKS TONGUE] -- 477 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:48,319 [ Normal voice ] MAN, YOU CRAZY, MAN! 478 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:50,584 CRAZY ENOUGH TO DIE FOR MY FRIEND. 479 00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:53,017 YOU KNOW, HOW ABOUT I JUST KILL MYSELF RIGHT NOW? 480 00:19:53,104 --> 00:19:55,114 PLEASE. FINE. 481 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,594 I'LL DO IT, I SWEAR. 482 00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:58,113 [ As Eddie Murphy ] BE COOL, MAN. I'M GONNA BE EDDIE MURPHY. 483 00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,587 I'M GONNA PUT THE SHIT DOWN, MAN. 484 00:19:59,676 --> 00:20:01,196 I'M GONNA PUT THE SHIT DOWN. I'M PUTTING THE...DOWN, MAN. 485 00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:02,377 PUTTING THE...DOWN, MAN. 486 00:20:02,462 --> 00:20:03,902 [ Normal voice ] NOW I'M GONNA SWITCH. 487 00:20:03,985 --> 00:20:05,375 [ As Chris Tucker ] I'M GONNA BE CHRIS TUCKER, MAN. 488 00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:06,725 MAN, WHAT YOU WANT TO SHOOT ME FOR, MAN? MAN? 489 00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:07,824 DISENGAGE. 490 00:20:07,902 --> 00:20:08,952 [ IMITATING BEEP ] 491 00:20:09,033 --> 00:20:09,953 [ Distorted voice ] NO. 492 00:20:10,034 --> 00:20:11,784 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 493 00:20:11,862 --> 00:20:14,302 HA HA HA! 494 00:20:14,387 --> 00:20:16,387 THANK GOD. 495 00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:19,256 HE WAS RUNNING OUT OF BLACK COMEDIANS TO COPY. 496 00:20:19,348 --> 00:20:21,918 YEAH! 497 00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:23,403 YES! YES! 498 00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:25,443 [ IMITATING ROBOTIC WHIRRING ] OH. 499 00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:27,228 OH, NO.[ GROWLS ] 500 00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,183 HE'S NOT SERIOUS. 501 00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:31,011 SERIOUSLY, JACK. 502 00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:32,189 JACK, DON'T INDULGE HIM. 503 00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:34,364 WELL, HE'S NOT STOPPING, TRIUMPH. 504 00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:36,240 OH, GOD. I HATE TO DO THIS. 505 00:20:36,322 --> 00:20:37,852 STAGE MANAGER. 506 00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,242 COME HERE -- QUICKLY. 507 00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:41,065 THANK YOU. JUST TAKE HIM OUT. 508 00:20:41,152 --> 00:20:43,202 [ BARKING ]JUST TAKE HIM OUT. THANKS. 509 00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:45,845 WHAT?! YOU CAN'T KICK ME OUT OF HERE!GENTLY TAKE HIM OUT. 510 00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:47,070 YOU CAN'T DO THIS. 511 00:20:47,158 --> 00:20:48,158 THERE YOU GO.CAN YOU? 512 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,337 [ BARKING ]ALL THE WAY. 513 00:20:50,423 --> 00:20:52,993 MICHAEL WINSLOW -- THERE HE GOES. 514 00:20:53,077 --> 00:20:55,337 YES. 515 00:20:55,428 --> 00:20:57,338 [ SIGHS ] 516 00:20:57,430 --> 00:21:00,260 HE'S 33rd STREET'S PROBLEM NOW. [ LAUGHS ] 517 00:21:00,346 --> 00:21:03,696 WELL, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT ALL OF JUNIE'S FURNITURE? 518 00:21:03,784 --> 00:21:05,264 OH, I GOT SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP US. 519 00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:07,091 Triumph: ♪ YA-BA-DA-BOO-BOP-BEE-BA 520 00:21:07,178 --> 00:21:09,308 ALL RIGHT, FELLAS. HERE WE GO. 521 00:21:09,398 --> 00:21:12,008 A BEER FOR THE NICE MAN WHO BREASTFED ME, 522 00:21:12,096 --> 00:21:14,926 UH, GRAPE JUICE FOR THIS REALISTIC WAX STATUE, 523 00:21:15,012 --> 00:21:18,192 AND A PROTEIN SHAKE FOR THE NICE, BUFF LADY. 524 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,447 [ LAUGHS ] 525 00:21:19,539 --> 00:21:20,839 AND, BY THE WAY, MA'AM, 526 00:21:20,931 --> 00:21:24,281 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVELY NEW FURNITURE. 527 00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:26,290 OH, OH. LOOK, EVERYBODY. 528 00:21:26,372 --> 00:21:27,632 JUNE'S UP. 529 00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:29,851 SOMETHING LOOKS DIFFERENT IN THIS ROOM. 530 00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:31,330 OH, NO, JUNE. 531 00:21:31,420 --> 00:21:34,680 IT'S JUST YOU'RE ALWAYS CONFUSED WHEN YOU WAKE UP. 532 00:21:34,771 --> 00:21:38,781 SEE? I'M JUST RELAXING IN MY FAVORITE READING CHAIR. 533 00:21:38,862 --> 00:21:42,302 WAIT A MINUTE. THAT'S NOT A READING CHAIR. 534 00:21:42,388 --> 00:21:45,958 THAT'S WHAT YOU HANG YOUR CLOTHES ON IN THE '90s. 535 00:21:46,043 --> 00:21:47,313 OH. 536 00:21:47,393 --> 00:21:48,573 YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW TO DO THIS? 537 00:21:48,655 --> 00:21:50,305 UH, I... SURE, YOU DO. 538 00:21:50,396 --> 00:21:51,826 OKAY. JUST LIKE THIS. 539 00:21:51,919 --> 00:21:53,049 YEAH. 540 00:21:53,137 --> 00:21:55,047 GET IT. FEEL THE MOVEMENT? 541 00:21:55,139 --> 00:21:56,359 UH, THIS IS GREAT. 542 00:21:56,445 --> 00:21:58,355 I CAN ALREADY FEEL IT MAKING ME UNEASY. 543 00:22:00,841 --> 00:22:03,761 QUITE THE YOUNG MAN WE'RE RAISING, HUH, JUNE? 544 00:22:03,844 --> 00:22:04,804 ONE DAY WITH YOU, 545 00:22:04,888 --> 00:22:07,498 AND HE'S ALREADY BEING RAPED BY HIPPIES. 546 00:22:07,587 --> 00:22:11,237 YOU KNOW, I SHOULD REALLY TAKE YOU DOWN. 547 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,420 SCREW YOU. 548 00:22:12,505 --> 00:22:14,765 I'M HERE TO STAY, BITCH... 549 00:22:14,855 --> 00:22:15,985 BECAUSE JACK AND I 550 00:22:16,073 --> 00:22:19,293 ARE LIKE CHRIS CHRISTIE'S LEGS IN A COACH SEAT -- 551 00:22:19,381 --> 00:22:23,521 WE CAN'T BE SEPARATED. 552 00:22:25,431 --> 00:22:27,911 Triumph: ♪ BA-DOO-BE-DOO-BE-DOO-BE-DOO 553 00:22:27,998 --> 00:22:29,438 ♪ BA 37829

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