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1
00:00:12,834 --> 00:00:16,033
[Bouncy instrumental music]
2
00:00:54,618 --> 00:00:57,553
[Lively music]
3
00:01:10,465 --> 00:01:12,867
[Horn honks]
4
00:01:12,867 --> 00:01:15,748
Just leave the keys
in it, Stan!
5
00:01:15,748 --> 00:01:17,408
Right!
6
00:01:54,169 --> 00:01:56,439
[Tires screeching]
7
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:18,182
You missed him, Vonnie.
8
00:02:18,182 --> 00:02:20,102
Ah, well.
9
00:02:20,102 --> 00:02:21,543
Not to worry, Ralph.
10
00:02:21,543 --> 00:02:23,005
I'll get him.
11
00:02:27,306 --> 00:02:28,746
Morning, Ralph.
12
00:02:28,746 --> 00:02:30,187
You should learn
to relax, Fred.
13
00:02:30,187 --> 00:02:32,108
I just thought
I'd better make sure
14
00:02:32,108 --> 00:02:34,028
these silly buggers
15
00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:35,470
didn't kill themselves.
16
00:02:35,470 --> 00:02:36,910
Don't pull on it!
17
00:02:36,910 --> 00:02:38,437
Let go of it, then.
18
00:02:38,832 --> 00:02:40,273
(Ralph)
You're doing
19
00:02:40,273 --> 00:02:41,233
a great job, mate.
20
00:02:41,233 --> 00:02:42,673
(man)
Let me do it.
21
00:02:42,673 --> 00:02:44,595
(man)
Do it yourself, then.
22
00:02:44,595 --> 00:02:46,036
[Sighs]
23
00:02:46,036 --> 00:02:47,476
Bloody women.
24
00:02:47,476 --> 00:02:51,220
(man)
Hey, Vincie.
25
00:02:52,279 --> 00:02:53,720
Yeah.
26
00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:54,680
Bitch!
27
00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,584
You look happy, Vince.
Did you win the lottery?
28
00:02:58,042 --> 00:02:59,483
Cow.
29
00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:00,443
Vincent.
30
00:03:00,443 --> 00:03:00,924
Hey, Father.
31
00:03:00,924 --> 00:03:05,246
Ooh, Vincent, looks like
being a beautiful day.
32
00:03:05,246 --> 00:03:07,549
Yeah.
33
00:03:28,297 --> 00:03:29,259
Ralph?
34
00:03:29,259 --> 00:03:31,659
(Ralph)
G'day, Vincie.
35
00:03:31,659 --> 00:03:33,580
Well, mate, she's really
36
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,022
shafted me this time.
37
00:03:35,022 --> 00:03:36,462
Ah, the wife again, eh?
38
00:03:36,462 --> 00:03:40,304
Ex-wife, as she's only
too quick to point out.
39
00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:42,705
Look what I found
in my post office box
40
00:03:42,705 --> 00:03:43,667
this morning.
41
00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:44,627
Just tell me, mate.
42
00:03:44,627 --> 00:03:45,587
I promised Dan the Man
43
00:03:45,587 --> 00:03:47,988
I'd have this fixed
by lunchtime.
44
00:03:47,988 --> 00:03:48,468
It's a letter
45
00:03:48,468 --> 00:03:50,389
from that shonky
city accountant of hers.
46
00:03:50,389 --> 00:03:51,510
I knew they had
some scheme going,
47
00:03:51,510 --> 00:03:54,391
some income average
and off-bloody-shore thing.
48
00:03:54,391 --> 00:03:56,312
I don't know;
I just went along with it.
49
00:03:56,312 --> 00:03:58,713
Now the chickens
are coming home to roost,
50
00:03:58,713 --> 00:04:01,114
and they owe years
in back taxes.
51
00:04:01,114 --> 00:04:02,075
Fantastic, mate.
52
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,995
She had it coming to her.
53
00:04:03,995 --> 00:04:05,437
She has nothing
coming to her.
54
00:04:05,437 --> 00:04:06,877
I do.
55
00:04:06,877 --> 00:04:07,838
How come?
56
00:04:07,838 --> 00:04:09,279
I don't know how they did it.
57
00:04:09,279 --> 00:04:11,200
I just signed whatever
they put in front of me.
58
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,121
I mean, she was me wife;
I trusted her.
59
00:04:13,121 --> 00:04:16,003
Pity she didn't feel
the same way about you.
60
00:04:16,003 --> 00:04:16,483
Well, I thought she did
61
00:04:16,483 --> 00:04:20,325
when they insisted that all
the companies be in my name
62
00:04:20,325 --> 00:04:20,805
so on paper,
63
00:04:20,805 --> 00:04:25,128
it looks like I've earned
all this bloody money.
64
00:04:25,128 --> 00:04:26,568
Well, obviously,
you didn't.
65
00:04:26,568 --> 00:04:27,529
No, mate.
66
00:04:27,529 --> 00:04:29,450
She got the money;
I get the tax.
67
00:04:29,450 --> 00:04:32,332
Now the bloody tax department's
coming after me.
68
00:04:32,332 --> 00:04:35,530
Gee, Vincie.
69
00:04:36,654 --> 00:04:37,134
I mean, it wasn't like
70
00:04:37,134 --> 00:04:39,535
she didn't do well
out of the divorce.
71
00:04:39,535 --> 00:04:41,455
I mean, she took
virtually everything
72
00:04:41,455 --> 00:04:42,417
with her when she left.
73
00:04:42,417 --> 00:04:43,377
Yeah, but then
it was all hers
74
00:04:43,377 --> 00:04:45,299
in the first place,
wasn't it?
75
00:04:45,299 --> 00:04:47,219
Well, yeah, but it was
a partnership.
76
00:04:47,219 --> 00:04:47,700
She had the capital;
77
00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:51,061
I provided
the professional expertise.
78
00:04:51,061 --> 00:04:51,542
Yeah, well, at least
79
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,463
she left you
the picture theater.
80
00:04:53,463 --> 00:04:53,942
Yeah, lucky me.
81
00:04:53,942 --> 00:04:55,863
More trouble
than it's worth.
82
00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:57,304
Why not sell it, then?
83
00:04:57,304 --> 00:04:58,265
Sell me theater?
84
00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:01,626
It's the only bloody thing
I've got left in the world.
85
00:05:01,626 --> 00:05:02,108
Won't even have that
86
00:05:02,108 --> 00:05:05,273
if I get socked
with this tax bill.
87
00:05:06,429 --> 00:05:07,389
I'm not kidding, mate.
88
00:05:07,389 --> 00:05:10,752
Things keep going like this,
I won't see the year out.
89
00:05:10,752 --> 00:05:11,712
Join the club.
90
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:12,672
You're doing okay.
91
00:05:12,672 --> 00:05:14,593
Oh, I got plenty
to work on.
92
00:05:14,593 --> 00:05:15,554
But, you know.
93
00:05:15,554 --> 00:05:17,955
Mate, you got to start
charging the going rate.
94
00:05:17,955 --> 00:05:19,876
Stop letting people
put it on the slate.
95
00:05:19,876 --> 00:05:22,758
We're not the only ones
doing it tough, you know.
96
00:05:22,758 --> 00:05:23,718
How's it going?
97
00:05:23,718 --> 00:05:24,679
Oh, she's done, mate.
98
00:05:24,679 --> 00:05:26,600
The carbie was running
a bit lean.
99
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:27,080
What do I owe you?
100
00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:30,923
Oh, don't worry about it;
it only took five minutes.
101
00:05:30,923 --> 00:05:31,883
Get off me!
102
00:05:31,883 --> 00:05:32,363
Get off me!
103
00:05:32,363 --> 00:05:35,244
Can't you two keep
your hands off each other?
104
00:05:35,244 --> 00:05:36,686
Pair of pansies.
105
00:05:36,686 --> 00:05:40,046
I'll drop you around
some tomatoes later.
106
00:05:40,046 --> 00:05:41,488
Yeah, mate.
107
00:05:41,488 --> 00:05:44,369
Tomatoes.
108
00:05:44,369 --> 00:05:44,850
[Tapping]
109
00:05:44,850 --> 00:05:47,731
Can I have
your attention, please?
110
00:05:47,731 --> 00:05:50,132
Mr. Coulston.
Mr. Quirk.
111
00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:52,053
Okay.
112
00:05:52,053 --> 00:05:55,414
Ladies and gentlemen,
distinguished guests,
113
00:05:55,414 --> 00:05:57,817
Father Delaney,
Counselor Rogers.
114
00:05:57,817 --> 00:05:58,777
Feel free to get
on with it, love.
115
00:05:58,777 --> 00:06:02,139
As you are all well-aware,
the Firemen's Ball
116
00:06:02,139 --> 00:06:05,020
and the St. Patrick's
Women's Auxiliary Ball
117
00:06:05,020 --> 00:06:06,461
are usually held
at different times.
118
00:06:06,461 --> 00:06:08,862
[Muttering]
There's a reason for that.
119
00:06:08,862 --> 00:06:10,784
(woman)
But this year,
120
00:06:10,784 --> 00:06:12,224
we've decided
to combine the two.
121
00:06:12,224 --> 00:06:13,665
(Ralph)
They felt the firies
122
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:15,106
were having too much fun.
123
00:06:15,106 --> 00:06:16,066
(woman)
So...
124
00:06:16,066 --> 00:06:19,427
Father Delaney
and his Ladies' Committee
125
00:06:19,427 --> 00:06:21,830
will be in charge
of organizing the catering.
126
00:06:21,830 --> 00:06:24,230
Does it involve loaves
and fishes, Father?
127
00:06:24,230 --> 00:06:25,671
Mr. Williams.
128
00:06:25,671 --> 00:06:27,593
In the unlikely event
129
00:06:27,593 --> 00:06:29,993
that you actually have
something worthwhile to add,
130
00:06:29,993 --> 00:06:31,914
would you please
raise your hand
131
00:06:31,914 --> 00:06:35,277
and not just interject?
132
00:06:35,277 --> 00:06:36,237
Mr. Coulston.
133
00:06:36,237 --> 00:06:39,118
Yourself and the fire brigade
134
00:06:39,118 --> 00:06:40,078
will be responsible
135
00:06:40,078 --> 00:06:42,479
for ticket production
and sales.
136
00:06:42,479 --> 00:06:42,960
Sorry, Faith.
137
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:46,574
I think Ralph has
something to add.
138
00:06:48,723 --> 00:06:49,683
(Quirk)
Loser.
139
00:06:49,683 --> 00:06:51,605
(Coulston)
Idiot.
140
00:06:51,605 --> 00:06:54,966
You weren't up
to your usual form, mate.
141
00:06:54,966 --> 00:06:57,368
(Faith)
Now, is everyone clear
142
00:06:57,368 --> 00:06:58,808
as to who's doing what?
143
00:06:58,808 --> 00:07:02,170
Well, we certainly know
who's doing all the talking.
144
00:07:02,170 --> 00:07:03,131
Mr. Hopgood,
145
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,091
you and Mr. Williams
just make sure
146
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:06,493
you've got the old fire truck
right for the night.
147
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,894
No worries,
Faith.
148
00:07:08,894 --> 00:07:11,862
You boys
are wicked.
149
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:15,137
I'd better go
and milk the moo cows.
150
00:07:15,137 --> 00:07:16,578
Those bawdy calves
you gave me
151
00:07:16,578 --> 00:07:17,538
are going well, Stan.
152
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:19,460
(Stan)
Good, good.
153
00:07:19,460 --> 00:07:20,420
You got a show tonight?
154
00:07:20,420 --> 00:07:22,820
8:000, mate.
155
00:07:22,820 --> 00:07:24,741
Well, have a good one.
156
00:07:24,741 --> 00:07:25,223
Yeah.
157
00:07:25,223 --> 00:07:28,583
Maybe things will look better
in the morning.
158
00:07:28,583 --> 00:07:31,465
Yeah, let's hope so.
159
00:07:31,465 --> 00:07:33,474
[Sighs]
160
00:07:35,787 --> 00:07:38,757
[Characters talking faintly]
161
00:08:44,945 --> 00:08:47,826
Morning, Shirley.
162
00:08:47,826 --> 00:08:49,746
Hello, Emily.
163
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:52,147
See you on Sunday.
164
00:08:52,147 --> 00:08:53,108
(woman)
It's Nubler.
165
00:08:53,108 --> 00:08:55,509
He just throws the mailbag
onto the veranda
166
00:08:55,509 --> 00:08:57,910
with no respect at all
for the contents.
167
00:08:57,910 --> 00:08:58,871
Here we are, Jack.
168
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,313
That's $6.75,
thank you.
169
00:09:00,313 --> 00:09:01,272
Here you go.
170
00:09:01,272 --> 00:09:02,234
I'll keep an eye out.
171
00:09:02,234 --> 00:09:04,154
I might catch him speeding.
172
00:09:04,154 --> 00:09:06,555
3 plus 7, that's 100.
173
00:09:06,555 --> 00:09:07,997
Thanks, love.
174
00:09:07,997 --> 00:09:08,476
Do you want
175
00:09:08,476 --> 00:09:09,437
to post that, Father?
176
00:09:09,437 --> 00:09:11,358
I certainly do, my dear.
177
00:09:11,358 --> 00:09:11,838
By the way, Yvonne,
178
00:09:11,838 --> 00:09:14,239
Gloria Murphy
dropped me a line
179
00:09:14,239 --> 00:09:15,200
from Paris
about her trip.
180
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,080
And she's sending me
some holy water from Lourdes,
181
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,002
God bless her soul,
for my arthritis.
182
00:09:20,002 --> 00:09:21,923
Do you think you could keep
an eye out for it?
183
00:09:21,923 --> 00:09:24,325
(Yvonne)
Of course, Father.
184
00:09:24,325 --> 00:09:27,206
I'll be with you
in a minute, Vince.
185
00:09:27,206 --> 00:09:28,647
Oh, no hurry,
Vonnie.
186
00:09:28,647 --> 00:09:29,607
Hi, Jack.
187
00:09:29,607 --> 00:09:30,088
Hey, Vince.
188
00:09:30,088 --> 00:09:31,048
Father.
Vincent.
189
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:32,009
(Jack)
I suppose you'll be
190
00:09:32,009 --> 00:09:33,930
putting us to shame
at the ball as usual, Father.
191
00:09:33,930 --> 00:09:35,370
(Delaney)
Oh, get out, Jack.
192
00:09:35,370 --> 00:09:36,331
It's the only dancing
I get these days.
193
00:09:36,331 --> 00:09:38,732
(Jack)
I noticed the banner
went up yesterday.
194
00:09:38,732 --> 00:09:41,133
Should bring
a few people in.
195
00:09:41,133 --> 00:09:42,094
Hey, Vincie?
196
00:09:42,094 --> 00:09:43,054
Yeah.
197
00:09:43,054 --> 00:09:45,739
Money's on the counter,
Vonnie.
198
00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:01,624
I've got it, Ralph.
199
00:10:01,624 --> 00:10:03,066
I have got it.
200
00:10:03,066 --> 00:10:04,506
(Ralph)
Got what?
201
00:10:04,506 --> 00:10:04,987
The answer.
202
00:10:04,987 --> 00:10:06,428
What's the question?
203
00:10:06,428 --> 00:10:08,348
You know, me tax problem.
204
00:10:08,348 --> 00:10:08,829
Look at this.
205
00:10:08,829 --> 00:10:11,229
The government's
just passed this bill.
206
00:10:11,229 --> 00:10:12,190
(Ralph)
Politics.
207
00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:14,592
You know I don't vote.
208
00:10:14,592 --> 00:10:15,552
Yeah, but you do know
209
00:10:15,552 --> 00:10:16,992
there's an election
this year, right?
210
00:10:16,992 --> 00:10:18,913
Yeah, I know.
I just don't care.
211
00:10:18,913 --> 00:10:19,874
Yeah, well, it says here
212
00:10:19,874 --> 00:10:22,276
this one's going to be
a real neck-and-neck race.
213
00:10:22,276 --> 00:10:24,196
Yeah, why would you vote?
214
00:10:24,196 --> 00:10:26,598
A politician
might get in.
215
00:10:26,598 --> 00:10:27,558
Can you just listen?
216
00:10:27,558 --> 00:10:30,440
They reckon it'll be so close,
it'll come down
217
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:33,801
to who can win
a majority of the gay vote.
218
00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,241
Gay?
219
00:10:35,241 --> 00:10:36,203
Yeah, shirt lifters,
220
00:10:36,203 --> 00:10:38,123
them that bat
for the other team,
221
00:10:38,123 --> 00:10:39,565
poofters.
222
00:10:39,565 --> 00:10:40,045
Geez, eh?
223
00:10:40,045 --> 00:10:42,926
I wouldn't have thought
there were that many of them.
224
00:10:42,926 --> 00:10:43,886
Apparently enough
to swing the vote.
225
00:10:43,886 --> 00:10:45,808
That's why both sides
are sucking up to them.
226
00:10:45,808 --> 00:10:48,209
It's all about giving them
the same rights
227
00:10:48,209 --> 00:10:49,649
as regular married couples.
228
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,571
So what's that got
to do with us?
229
00:10:51,571 --> 00:10:53,492
Well, the opposition...
230
00:10:53,492 --> 00:10:54,453
[horn honks]
231
00:10:54,453 --> 00:10:55,412
Hey, Billy!
232
00:10:55,412 --> 00:10:56,374
Well, the opposition
has promised
233
00:10:56,374 --> 00:10:59,735
to change the tax laws
if they get elected, right?
234
00:10:59,735 --> 00:11:02,137
So the government's just
beat 'em to the punch.
235
00:11:02,137 --> 00:11:04,057
Not only did they pass
the law;
236
00:11:04,057 --> 00:11:06,459
they've made it
retrospective.
237
00:11:06,459 --> 00:11:06,938
Oh.
238
00:11:06,938 --> 00:11:10,301
Will you run that
by me again in English?
239
00:11:10,301 --> 00:11:11,741
Well, it just means
that gay couples
240
00:11:11,741 --> 00:11:14,143
can get all the rebates
of regular couples,
241
00:11:14,143 --> 00:11:17,985
and they can claim them
for up to five years back.
242
00:11:17,985 --> 00:11:20,867
If I can go back
to an earlier question,
243
00:11:20,867 --> 00:11:23,747
what's it got to do
with us?
244
00:11:23,747 --> 00:11:27,109
Mate, if I can get
those same tax breaks
245
00:11:27,109 --> 00:11:27,590
for the last five years,
246
00:11:27,590 --> 00:11:29,991
I could write off so much tax,
I'd be laughing.
247
00:11:29,991 --> 00:11:33,353
Hey, you could even
claim me as a dependent.
248
00:11:33,353 --> 00:11:36,714
We'd both come out in front.
249
00:11:36,714 --> 00:11:37,675
But how can we do that?
250
00:11:37,675 --> 00:11:40,131
Well, it's simple.
251
00:11:41,517 --> 00:11:44,880
We just become gay.
252
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:46,319
No!
253
00:11:46,319 --> 00:11:48,240
No, no, no, no.
254
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:50,162
How many times
do I have to tell you?
255
00:11:50,162 --> 00:11:51,122
We just say we are.
256
00:11:51,122 --> 00:11:52,563
There's no physical.
257
00:11:52,563 --> 00:11:54,484
(Ralph)
Hey, Harry.
258
00:11:54,484 --> 00:11:55,925
No.
259
00:11:55,925 --> 00:11:57,365
What's wrong
with you, Ralph?
260
00:11:57,365 --> 00:11:58,806
I mean, this is
our big chance
261
00:11:58,806 --> 00:12:00,247
to really turn things
around for us.
262
00:12:00,247 --> 00:12:02,647
We could split our incomes,
claim spouse benefits.
263
00:12:02,647 --> 00:12:06,010
Hey, we could probably even
set up a family trust.
264
00:12:06,010 --> 00:12:07,932
You're not listening
to me, Vince.
265
00:12:07,932 --> 00:12:10,814
I don't want anyone
thinking I'm a poof.
266
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:12,253
You're on the house here, boys!
267
00:12:12,253 --> 00:12:13,214
Right ho, mate!
268
00:12:13,214 --> 00:12:16,095
No, not poofs, mate...
same-sex couple.
269
00:12:16,095 --> 00:12:18,016
That's what they call it
these days.
270
00:12:18,016 --> 00:12:18,497
Same-sex couples.
271
00:12:18,497 --> 00:12:20,897
I don't care
what they call it.
272
00:12:20,897 --> 00:12:22,818
I don't want to be one!
273
00:12:22,818 --> 00:12:25,219
(Vince)
We'd just be pretending,
274
00:12:25,219 --> 00:12:26,181
for goodness sake.
275
00:12:26,181 --> 00:12:27,141
What's your problem?
276
00:12:27,141 --> 00:12:29,542
(Ralph)
I just wouldn't feel
comfortable with it.
277
00:12:29,542 --> 00:12:32,423
I mean, I've got nothing
against them personally.
278
00:12:32,423 --> 00:12:32,905
Good luck to them.
279
00:12:32,905 --> 00:12:34,344
But I wouldn't
want them near me,
280
00:12:34,344 --> 00:12:36,266
much less going around
saying I was one.
281
00:12:36,266 --> 00:12:40,589
There's a word for you,
Ralph: Homophobic.
282
00:12:40,589 --> 00:12:41,549
(Ralph)
Yeah?
283
00:12:41,549 --> 00:12:43,949
Well, there's a word
for you too, mate:
284
00:12:43,949 --> 00:12:46,352
Out of your bloody mind.
285
00:12:46,352 --> 00:12:46,831
Have you any idea
286
00:12:46,831 --> 00:12:48,752
what the reaction would be
around here
287
00:12:48,752 --> 00:12:51,153
if people thought
we were a pair of pansies?
288
00:12:51,153 --> 00:12:54,035
"Same-sex couple," Ralph.
289
00:12:54,035 --> 00:12:55,476
Take Big Red,
for instance.
290
00:12:55,476 --> 00:12:57,878
He'd laugh us out of town.
291
00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:01,239
Not everyone in town
is as close-minded
292
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,680
as you and Big Red.
293
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:03,160
Oh, no?
294
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,081
Why don't you ask
the boys later
295
00:13:05,081 --> 00:13:06,739
what they think?
296
00:13:09,404 --> 00:13:12,765
(man)
Don't know any,
and I don't care to.
297
00:13:12,765 --> 00:13:15,166
(man)
There is Eric, of course.
298
00:13:15,166 --> 00:13:17,087
Yeah, but he's
the local hairdresser.
299
00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:19,008
It'd be a worry
if he was the barber.
300
00:13:19,008 --> 00:13:20,449
I'd cut me own hair.
301
00:13:20,449 --> 00:13:22,369
You mean you pay
to get that done?
302
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:23,964
Get stuffed.
303
00:13:26,212 --> 00:13:30,054
They reckon
Tom Farquar's eldest
304
00:13:30,054 --> 00:13:31,495
is that way inclined.
305
00:13:31,495 --> 00:13:31,975
(man)
Yeah?
306
00:13:31,975 --> 00:13:34,857
Ran off and joined
the Australian ballet.
307
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,777
Next thing I hear,
he's up in Canberra
308
00:13:36,777 --> 00:13:39,179
doing the
Nutcracker Suite.
309
00:13:39,179 --> 00:13:41,100
Sounds painful.
310
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:43,949
[Laughter]
311
00:13:47,824 --> 00:13:50,224
(Vince)
How long have we
known each other, mate?
312
00:13:50,224 --> 00:13:51,185
(Ralph)
Most of our lives.
313
00:13:51,185 --> 00:13:55,508
And in all that time,
have I even been wrong?
314
00:13:55,508 --> 00:13:56,468
Yeah.
315
00:13:56,468 --> 00:13:57,429
When?
316
00:13:57,429 --> 00:13:58,869
Karen Stevens.
317
00:13:58,869 --> 00:13:59,829
Karen Stevens?
318
00:13:59,829 --> 00:14:02,711
That was 300 years ago;
get over it.
319
00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:04,632
You said she was
a walk-up start.
320
00:14:04,632 --> 00:14:07,994
Her father set
the bloody greyhounds onto me.
321
00:14:07,994 --> 00:14:12,316
And I still convulse
every time I hear a dog bark.
322
00:14:12,316 --> 00:14:14,237
Come on, mate.
323
00:14:14,237 --> 00:14:15,198
I'd do it for you.
324
00:14:15,198 --> 00:14:18,559
Yeah, let everyone think
I'm a fairy.
325
00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:19,520
No.
326
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:20,481
We fill out the forms.
327
00:14:20,481 --> 00:14:21,921
We send them in
to Canberra.
328
00:14:21,921 --> 00:14:23,842
They register us
as a same-sex couple.
329
00:14:23,842 --> 00:14:27,204
So then we're eligible
for the tax cuts.
330
00:14:27,204 --> 00:14:30,566
They think they've got
a couple of sure-fire votes.
331
00:14:30,566 --> 00:14:31,526
Everybody's happy.
332
00:14:31,526 --> 00:14:35,367
Yeah, they're happy.
We're gay.
333
00:14:35,367 --> 00:14:37,289
Well, just officially.
334
00:14:37,289 --> 00:14:39,210
You know,
some public service dickhead
335
00:14:39,210 --> 00:14:40,652
puts it in the computer,
336
00:14:40,652 --> 00:14:43,053
and we're eligible
for the tax cuts.
337
00:14:43,053 --> 00:14:44,974
End of story.
338
00:14:44,974 --> 00:14:48,422
Mate, I really need you
to help me with this.
339
00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:52,362
Please.
340
00:14:53,618 --> 00:14:55,059
Just sign the paper?
341
00:14:55,059 --> 00:14:56,500
Just sign the paper.
342
00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:58,420
And no one will ever know.
343
00:14:58,420 --> 00:15:00,527
Swear to God.
344
00:15:03,223 --> 00:15:04,664
Sorry, mate.
345
00:15:04,664 --> 00:15:07,064
I just can't do it.
346
00:15:07,064 --> 00:15:08,407
No.
347
00:15:13,309 --> 00:15:18,941
[Telephone ringing]
348
00:15:23,393 --> 00:15:23,874
Hello.
349
00:15:23,874 --> 00:15:25,796
(woman)
Hey, Dad, it's me.
350
00:15:25,796 --> 00:15:27,235
Carla.
351
00:15:27,235 --> 00:15:28,196
How are you, sweetheart?
352
00:15:28,196 --> 00:15:30,117
I'm great, Dad.
How are you?
353
00:15:30,117 --> 00:15:30,598
Oh, you know.
354
00:15:30,598 --> 00:15:32,518
Got plenty
to keep me out of trouble.
355
00:15:32,518 --> 00:15:34,440
Well, don't work too hard.
356
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:35,880
You always take on too much.
357
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:39,243
Gee, love, you're starting
to sound like your mum.
358
00:15:39,243 --> 00:15:39,722
[Laughs]
359
00:15:39,722 --> 00:15:41,643
Someone's got
to look after you now.
360
00:15:41,643 --> 00:15:45,485
Hey, Dad, I'm thinking
of coming up on the 21st.
361
00:15:45,485 --> 00:15:46,446
Oh, that'll be great.
362
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,847
You'll be here
for the Firemen's Ball.
363
00:15:48,847 --> 00:15:50,769
Um, okay.
364
00:15:50,769 --> 00:15:52,208
I'm bringing Peter to meet you.
365
00:15:52,208 --> 00:15:55,571
Yeah, well, it's about time
your old man was introduced.
366
00:15:55,571 --> 00:15:57,492
My thoughts exactly, Dad.
367
00:15:57,492 --> 00:16:01,814
Might even have to give
the old overalls a wash, eh?
368
00:16:01,814 --> 00:16:03,255
[Carla laughs]
369
00:16:03,255 --> 00:16:04,215
No need to go silly.
370
00:16:04,215 --> 00:16:08,538
Actually, we're thinking
of moving in together.
371
00:16:08,538 --> 00:16:10,459
Oh, yeah?
372
00:16:10,459 --> 00:16:11,418
Sounds serious.
373
00:16:11,418 --> 00:16:14,300
Yeah, well, we'll see.
374
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:16,702
Well, I'll really
look forward to that.
375
00:16:16,702 --> 00:16:17,181
Yeah, me too.
376
00:16:17,181 --> 00:16:18,623
Say hello to Vince for me.
377
00:16:18,623 --> 00:16:20,544
I'll see you then, then, Dad.
378
00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:21,023
Love you.
379
00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:22,944
Love you too, sweetheart.
380
00:16:22,944 --> 00:16:24,386
Bye-bye.
381
00:16:24,386 --> 00:16:26,275
Bye.
382
00:16:42,156 --> 00:16:45,571
[Dog barking in the distance]
383
00:16:49,839 --> 00:16:50,799
Good night.
384
00:16:50,799 --> 00:16:51,760
(woman)
Good night, Vince.
385
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,202
(man)
See ya, mate.
386
00:16:53,202 --> 00:16:55,241
Yup.
387
00:17:07,128 --> 00:17:09,169
And no one will ever know.
388
00:17:14,812 --> 00:17:16,569
No one will ever know.
389
00:17:26,819 --> 00:17:28,740
All right, I'll do it.
390
00:17:28,740 --> 00:17:32,102
Oh, mate, I could kiss you.
391
00:17:32,102 --> 00:17:35,005
Just you bloody try.
392
00:17:38,345 --> 00:17:41,707
Ralph, I can't tell you
how much this...
393
00:17:41,707 --> 00:17:42,186
Hey.
394
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:46,029
I never did really thank you
for all you did for us.
395
00:17:46,029 --> 00:17:48,681
You have now.
396
00:17:56,594 --> 00:17:59,475
So I go in this box.
397
00:17:59,475 --> 00:18:01,397
Then you go here.
398
00:18:01,397 --> 00:18:03,318
Just a moment.
399
00:18:03,318 --> 00:18:03,798
"Spouse"?
400
00:18:03,798 --> 00:18:07,160
Why do I have to be
the spouse?
401
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:08,600
It's not important.
402
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,042
It is to me.
403
00:18:10,042 --> 00:18:11,963
I don't want
to be the spouse.
404
00:18:11,963 --> 00:18:14,363
Makes me sound
kind of wussy.
405
00:18:14,363 --> 00:18:16,765
You're supposed
to sound wussy.
406
00:18:16,765 --> 00:18:17,726
That's the whole point.
407
00:18:17,726 --> 00:18:20,126
Why can't you be
the spouse?
408
00:18:20,126 --> 00:18:20,608
I'm taller.
409
00:18:20,608 --> 00:18:23,489
Well, if it's such
a big issue,
410
00:18:23,489 --> 00:18:24,449
I'll be the spouse.
411
00:18:24,449 --> 00:18:27,811
You can be
head of household.
412
00:18:27,811 --> 00:18:28,771
That make you happy?
413
00:18:28,771 --> 00:18:31,653
Well, happier
than being the spouse.
414
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:33,573
Help me through this.
415
00:18:33,573 --> 00:18:37,896
"Period of cohabitation."
416
00:18:37,896 --> 00:18:38,376
What?
417
00:18:38,376 --> 00:18:40,297
How long since
we moved in together?
418
00:18:40,297 --> 00:18:43,179
Well, we want the full
five years' back benefits,
419
00:18:43,179 --> 00:18:45,099
so six years.
420
00:18:45,099 --> 00:18:47,020
Now, hang on.
Hang on.
421
00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:49,422
When did your missus
shoot through?
422
00:18:49,422 --> 00:18:51,823
About six years ago.
Perfect.
423
00:18:51,823 --> 00:18:52,783
Yeah, so, what, she left
424
00:18:52,783 --> 00:18:56,786
and then, straight away,
we move in together?
425
00:18:56,786 --> 00:18:58,226
What's wrong with that?
426
00:18:58,226 --> 00:18:59,667
Well, I don't want
to look easy.
427
00:18:59,667 --> 00:19:03,028
It looks like I got you
on the rebound.
428
00:19:03,028 --> 00:19:04,950
Okay.
429
00:19:04,950 --> 00:19:06,391
So we saw each other
on the sly
430
00:19:06,391 --> 00:19:09,271
for 12 months before,
okay?
431
00:19:09,271 --> 00:19:10,712
Sounds reasonable.
432
00:19:10,712 --> 00:19:14,075
It means neither of us
rushed into anything.
433
00:19:14,075 --> 00:19:15,515
[Laughs]
434
00:19:15,515 --> 00:19:19,543
Sometimes I seriously worry
about you, Ralphie.
435
00:19:21,278 --> 00:19:23,679
"Address
of shared residence."
436
00:19:23,679 --> 00:19:25,120
My place.
437
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,041
I don't want it going down
438
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,923
that I'm living
in a projection booth.
439
00:19:29,923 --> 00:19:31,363
Picky.
440
00:19:31,363 --> 00:19:34,245
"Orientation."
441
00:19:34,245 --> 00:19:37,126
Well, the backyard
faces northeast.
442
00:19:37,126 --> 00:19:40,008
Sexual orientation, mate.
443
00:19:40,008 --> 00:19:40,969
Sexual.
444
00:19:40,969 --> 00:19:41,449
Oh.
445
00:19:41,449 --> 00:19:47,212
I'll just put down,
"Couple of old up-your..."
446
00:19:47,212 --> 00:19:48,653
Bloody hell.
447
00:19:48,653 --> 00:19:51,054
Oh, my old mum
would spin in her grave
448
00:19:51,054 --> 00:19:52,014
if she saw that.
449
00:19:52,014 --> 00:19:52,975
No.
450
00:19:52,975 --> 00:19:55,376
"Private and confidential."
451
00:19:55,376 --> 00:19:57,778
That means
it's privileged information.
452
00:19:57,778 --> 00:20:00,179
Strictly between us
and them.
453
00:20:00,179 --> 00:20:04,524
How could anyone around here
ever find out?
454
00:20:06,902 --> 00:20:09,620
[Rooster crowing]
455
00:20:16,987 --> 00:20:17,947
[Tires screeching]
456
00:20:17,947 --> 00:20:21,310
[Upbeat fiddle music]
457
00:20:28,033 --> 00:20:32,641
Oh, Father.
458
00:20:44,842 --> 00:20:46,284
T op of the morning
to you, Ralph.
459
00:20:46,284 --> 00:20:49,644
And the rest of the day
to you, Father.
460
00:20:49,644 --> 00:20:52,035
[Whistling]
461
00:21:14,618 --> 00:21:19,420
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
462
00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:24,223
They're sending
a tax investigator
463
00:21:24,223 --> 00:21:25,183
to interview us.
464
00:21:25,183 --> 00:21:27,105
They're going to check
our claim.
465
00:21:27,105 --> 00:21:29,026
Oh.
466
00:21:29,026 --> 00:21:31,427
"Random testing of applicants."
467
00:21:31,427 --> 00:21:32,868
Ralph, it's random.
468
00:21:32,868 --> 00:21:34,309
Random, my ass.
469
00:21:34,309 --> 00:21:35,748
With the bloody mess you're in,
470
00:21:35,748 --> 00:21:37,670
I bet you the bloody
alarm bells went off
471
00:21:37,670 --> 00:21:39,111
the moment you walked in
through the door.
472
00:21:39,111 --> 00:21:42,472
Oh, no, this has got nothing
to do with my tax problem.
473
00:21:42,472 --> 00:21:44,393
They're just sending out
an inspector
474
00:21:44,393 --> 00:21:46,315
to check up
that we're really gay.
475
00:21:46,315 --> 00:21:47,756
The fact is, Vince,
476
00:21:47,756 --> 00:21:50,156
that some ferret
from the tax department
477
00:21:50,156 --> 00:21:50,636
is going to grill us.
478
00:21:50,636 --> 00:21:53,638
We're going to be
up Shit Creek in a matchbox.
479
00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:57,361
Yeah, okay,
I will admit
480
00:21:57,361 --> 00:21:58,801
we've got a bit
of a problem.
481
00:21:58,801 --> 00:22:00,242
Bit of a problem?
482
00:22:00,242 --> 00:22:04,564
Mate, we have attempted
to defraud the authorities.
483
00:22:04,564 --> 00:22:08,242
They're going to hang us up
by the balls!
484
00:22:11,287 --> 00:22:12,248
Unless...
485
00:22:12,248 --> 00:22:15,610
we can convince them
we're telling the truth.
486
00:22:15,610 --> 00:22:16,570
Vince.
487
00:22:16,570 --> 00:22:18,491
You are not gay.
488
00:22:18,491 --> 00:22:19,932
I am not gay.
489
00:22:19,932 --> 00:22:21,373
Mmm.
490
00:22:21,373 --> 00:22:25,270
This bloke is going to be
an expert on gayness.
491
00:22:28,096 --> 00:22:30,498
He's probably done
a course on it.
492
00:22:30,498 --> 00:22:32,418
We're done for.
493
00:22:32,418 --> 00:22:35,299
Not necessarily.
494
00:22:35,299 --> 00:22:38,181
I mean, how long can
an interview like this last?
495
00:22:38,181 --> 00:22:39,142
An hour?
Two, tops.
496
00:22:39,142 --> 00:22:42,504
All we have to do is keep up
the act for that long.
497
00:22:42,504 --> 00:22:42,984
What act?
498
00:22:42,984 --> 00:22:45,386
I don't know how to look gay.
499
00:22:45,386 --> 00:22:45,866
We're just going
500
00:22:45,866 --> 00:22:47,786
to have to do
a crash course on it.
501
00:22:47,786 --> 00:22:48,748
Plenty of time up our sleeve.
502
00:22:48,748 --> 00:22:51,629
He's not due here till...
the 21 st.
503
00:22:51,629 --> 00:22:54,511
That's the day of the ball.
504
00:22:54,511 --> 00:22:57,871
Oh, that's just
bloody beautiful, that is.
505
00:22:57,871 --> 00:22:58,833
Yeah.
506
00:22:58,833 --> 00:22:59,794
Gives us plenty of time
507
00:22:59,794 --> 00:23:02,194
to learn how to act
like the real thing.
508
00:23:02,194 --> 00:23:03,155
From who?
509
00:23:03,155 --> 00:23:06,516
They're not exactly thick
on the ground
510
00:23:06,516 --> 00:23:07,957
around here, mate.
511
00:23:07,957 --> 00:23:11,320
No, no, no, no, we're going
to have to go and see Jack
512
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:12,760
and fess up.
513
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:13,720
See Jack?
No way.
514
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:16,122
Listen;
I'll come up with something.
515
00:23:16,122 --> 00:23:17,083
Trust me.
516
00:23:17,083 --> 00:23:18,523
I always do.
517
00:23:18,523 --> 00:23:21,885
But no one around here
must ever know.
518
00:23:21,885 --> 00:23:24,286
(Delaney)
And cakes and biscuits.
519
00:23:24,286 --> 00:23:26,687
That's our department too,
Father.
520
00:23:26,687 --> 00:23:29,088
We've already started
getting organized.
521
00:23:29,088 --> 00:23:30,049
Haven't we, girls?
522
00:23:30,049 --> 00:23:30,530
Now, now, ladies.
523
00:23:30,530 --> 00:23:32,930
Let's not get too far
ahead of ourselves.
524
00:23:32,930 --> 00:23:34,851
We need it to be fresh
on the night.
525
00:23:34,851 --> 00:23:36,293
(Faith)
Oh, it will be.
526
00:23:36,293 --> 00:23:39,174
(Delaney)
Well, I think
527
00:23:39,174 --> 00:23:40,613
that takes care
of everything
528
00:23:40,613 --> 00:23:45,669
unless anyone has anything
of interest to report.
529
00:23:50,700 --> 00:23:52,621
Yvonne, dear,
are you okay?
530
00:23:52,621 --> 00:23:55,021
Yeah, I'm fine.
531
00:23:55,021 --> 00:23:59,345
Now, you sure?
532
00:23:59,345 --> 00:24:04,627
Faith, um,
can I tell you something?
533
00:24:04,627 --> 00:24:06,547
Hey, Ralph.
534
00:24:06,547 --> 00:24:08,469
Did you get on
to Vonnie back there?
535
00:24:08,469 --> 00:24:10,391
Couldn't take her eyes
off me.
536
00:24:10,391 --> 00:24:13,272
Well, Vince, you are
a good-looking man.
537
00:24:13,272 --> 00:24:13,752
Who's what?
538
00:24:13,752 --> 00:24:18,163
I was just telling Vince
he's a good-looking man.
539
00:24:19,515 --> 00:24:20,726
Bye.
540
00:24:25,758 --> 00:24:28,126
Come on.
541
00:24:30,561 --> 00:24:31,521
[Whistling]
542
00:24:31,521 --> 00:24:34,883
Father, excuse me.
543
00:24:34,883 --> 00:24:36,804
Can I have a word?
544
00:24:36,804 --> 00:24:38,431
Of course.
545
00:24:42,567 --> 00:24:44,008
Hello, Faith.
546
00:24:44,008 --> 00:24:45,448
How's the ball
coming along?
547
00:24:45,448 --> 00:24:48,330
Everyone
behaving themselves?
548
00:24:48,330 --> 00:24:51,049
Well, actually...
549
00:24:56,975 --> 00:24:59,856
I can't believe
we're doing this.
550
00:24:59,856 --> 00:25:03,600
I can't believe I never
thought of it sooner.
551
00:25:11,382 --> 00:25:14,264
[Shutter clicking]
552
00:25:14,264 --> 00:25:16,186
It's all in the mannerisms,
you know.
553
00:25:16,186 --> 00:25:18,106
If we can learn
half a dozen of those,
554
00:25:18,106 --> 00:25:20,082
we'll be on the nose.
555
00:25:27,231 --> 00:25:29,632
There goes Vonnie.
556
00:25:29,632 --> 00:25:32,032
She scrubs up nice.
557
00:25:32,032 --> 00:25:33,953
She fancies me, you know.
558
00:25:33,953 --> 00:25:39,236
I think I'm going to take
a little nap.
559
00:25:39,236 --> 00:25:42,555
Nighty night.
560
00:25:48,842 --> 00:25:50,283
Hello, Faith.
561
00:25:50,283 --> 00:25:50,763
Hello, Ivy.
562
00:25:50,763 --> 00:25:53,164
Everything all right?
563
00:25:53,164 --> 00:25:54,124
Oh, Ivy,
you'll never guess
564
00:25:54,124 --> 00:25:57,006
what's been going on
in this town.
565
00:25:57,006 --> 00:25:59,407
What?
566
00:25:59,407 --> 00:26:02,289
[Laughs]
567
00:26:02,289 --> 00:26:03,250
Oh.
568
00:26:03,250 --> 00:26:04,211
Good-bye, love.
569
00:26:04,211 --> 00:26:06,611
I'll just tell the girls.
570
00:26:06,611 --> 00:26:10,453
[Laughs]
571
00:26:10,453 --> 00:26:12,855
Hey, Ralph?
572
00:26:12,855 --> 00:26:14,776
What size bed do you have?
573
00:26:14,776 --> 00:26:16,216
Just a single.
574
00:26:16,216 --> 00:26:18,137
I tossed
the old double out.
575
00:26:18,137 --> 00:26:19,097
It was buggered.
576
00:26:19,097 --> 00:26:21,914
Well, where am I going
to sleep?
577
00:26:23,900 --> 00:26:24,860
Well, certainly not at my place.
578
00:26:24,860 --> 00:26:26,782
Yeah, but what if
the inspector guy
579
00:26:26,782 --> 00:26:28,703
checks out your bedroom?
580
00:26:28,703 --> 00:26:30,144
Well, he won't find you.
581
00:26:30,144 --> 00:26:32,545
That's okay.
582
00:26:32,545 --> 00:26:34,946
I got an old double bed
under the theater.
583
00:26:34,946 --> 00:26:36,386
We'll drop it off at your place
584
00:26:36,386 --> 00:26:38,755
just so it looks right.
585
00:26:40,229 --> 00:26:41,670
Father.
586
00:26:41,670 --> 00:26:42,630
Nice day for it.
587
00:26:42,630 --> 00:26:44,551
(Delaney)
Just remember, boys,
588
00:26:44,551 --> 00:26:50,784
God created Adam and Eve,
not Adam and Steve.
589
00:26:53,675 --> 00:26:57,060
(Vince)
Oh, shit, here we go.
590
00:27:06,163 --> 00:27:08,848
Follow him, Ralph.
591
00:27:26,813 --> 00:27:29,695
Now, where the bloody hell
is he going out here?
592
00:27:29,695 --> 00:27:30,655
What do you reckon
593
00:27:30,655 --> 00:27:32,096
Father Xavier was on about?
594
00:27:32,096 --> 00:27:35,458
Probably one of them beats,
you know?
595
00:27:35,458 --> 00:27:37,380
It's a special sacred
meeting place
596
00:27:37,380 --> 00:27:37,858
that only they know about.
597
00:27:37,858 --> 00:27:40,261
(Ralph)
Maybe he's been
into the altar wine.
598
00:27:40,261 --> 00:27:43,143
There's probably more of them
around here than we think.
599
00:27:43,143 --> 00:27:46,886
You know, it takes
more than one to tango.
600
00:27:49,384 --> 00:27:50,346
Hang on.
601
00:27:50,346 --> 00:27:52,168
Where's he gone?
602
00:27:53,227 --> 00:27:55,017
There he is.
603
00:28:11,477 --> 00:28:14,838
Don't tell me Burt Nankuvis
has joined the team.
604
00:28:14,838 --> 00:28:16,760
Burt gay?
605
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:19,445
Nah, he's a plumber.
606
00:28:48,456 --> 00:28:51,818
(Jack)
So, anyway,
I bump into Faith earlier.
607
00:28:51,818 --> 00:28:55,660
She reckons
something most unsavory
608
00:28:55,660 --> 00:28:59,023
has been goin' on
under all our noses.
609
00:28:59,023 --> 00:29:01,675
What?
610
00:29:02,864 --> 00:29:07,666
Ralph Williams
and Vince Hopgood
611
00:29:07,666 --> 00:29:10,602
are having
a homosexual relationship.
612
00:29:16,311 --> 00:29:17,272
Come again?
613
00:29:17,272 --> 00:29:19,672
Well, that's what she said.
614
00:29:19,672 --> 00:29:22,074
Straight from
the horse's mouth.
615
00:29:22,074 --> 00:29:23,035
Bloody hell.
616
00:29:23,035 --> 00:29:26,353
I used to go camping
with those blokes.
617
00:29:27,837 --> 00:29:29,277
Shared a tent.
618
00:29:29,277 --> 00:29:31,319
We all did.
619
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:38,883
If they're poofers,
I'm Nicole Kidman.
620
00:29:38,883 --> 00:29:39,843
[Laughs]
621
00:29:39,843 --> 00:29:40,803
[Laughter]
622
00:29:40,803 --> 00:29:43,206
What is it
with that silly woman?
623
00:29:43,206 --> 00:29:45,606
Someone needs to have
a word with Faith
624
00:29:45,606 --> 00:29:46,566
before she spreads
625
00:29:46,566 --> 00:29:47,528
that nonsense around.
626
00:29:47,528 --> 00:29:48,487
Well, be my guest.
627
00:29:48,487 --> 00:29:49,929
[Banging and water rushing]
628
00:29:49,929 --> 00:29:51,850
Oh, shit!
629
00:29:51,850 --> 00:29:55,692
Well, better go
and arrest somebody.
630
00:29:55,692 --> 00:29:57,765
Ooroo.
631
00:30:00,014 --> 00:30:02,415
[Ralph's voice]
I was just telling Vince
632
00:30:02,415 --> 00:30:04,871
he's a good-looking man.
633
00:30:07,697 --> 00:30:10,578
[Upbeat instrumental music]
634
00:30:33,151 --> 00:30:36,033
[Laughs]
635
00:30:36,033 --> 00:30:38,434
[Effeminately]
That's hysterical.
636
00:30:38,434 --> 00:30:42,275
Honestly, you're a couple
of sillies.
637
00:30:42,275 --> 00:30:44,678
[Laughs]
638
00:30:44,678 --> 00:30:49,480
What on Earth would I do
with a... ugh... woman?
639
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:55,364
Well, on Tuesday,
you did that.
640
00:30:57,164 --> 00:30:59,084
Wednesday,
641
00:30:59,084 --> 00:31:02,446
young Mrs. Yellup,
I believe.
642
00:31:02,446 --> 00:31:03,888
Thursday,
643
00:31:03,888 --> 00:31:07,239
the Crawford girl.
644
00:31:09,611 --> 00:31:11,401
I've gone all hot.
645
00:31:15,854 --> 00:31:16,815
All right, I admit it.
646
00:31:16,815 --> 00:31:18,736
I'm straight.
647
00:31:18,736 --> 00:31:22,098
But look, we can keep this
to ourselves, can't we?
648
00:31:22,098 --> 00:31:23,058
Fellas?
649
00:31:23,058 --> 00:31:24,018
I'm just curious:
650
00:31:24,018 --> 00:31:26,420
Why have
everyone in town think
651
00:31:26,420 --> 00:31:27,380
you're a pillow biter?
652
00:31:27,380 --> 00:31:29,301
I'm a hairdresser,
for fuck's sake.
653
00:31:29,301 --> 00:31:30,262
It's what they expect.
654
00:31:30,262 --> 00:31:32,183
Anyway,
it makes them feel comfortable
655
00:31:32,183 --> 00:31:33,625
to think I'm one of the girls.
656
00:31:33,625 --> 00:31:35,545
Plus no one suspects
you're tomcatting
657
00:31:35,545 --> 00:31:38,906
half the wives and daughters
around the district.
658
00:31:38,906 --> 00:31:41,788
Yeah, well.
659
00:31:41,788 --> 00:31:44,670
Look, any chance
I can buy these photos?
660
00:31:44,670 --> 00:31:47,071
No.
661
00:31:47,071 --> 00:31:48,992
However,
662
00:31:48,992 --> 00:31:50,913
we would be willing
to trade them.
663
00:31:50,913 --> 00:31:52,834
Trade them?
664
00:31:52,834 --> 00:31:56,032
For what?
665
00:31:58,597 --> 00:32:01,959
First, you have to learn
to think gay.
666
00:32:01,959 --> 00:32:04,840
So from now one,
it's not "me" or "I."
667
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:05,800
No, no, no.
668
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,202
You refer to yourselves
as "she" and "her."
669
00:32:08,202 --> 00:32:10,603
Got it?
670
00:32:10,603 --> 00:32:11,083
Right.
671
00:32:11,083 --> 00:32:13,005
Secondly, it's all
a matter of learning
672
00:32:13,005 --> 00:32:15,886
some body language
and some gestures.
673
00:32:15,886 --> 00:32:17,807
First and most importantly,
the walk.
674
00:32:17,807 --> 00:32:20,689
Now, hold your hand out
as if you're being led
675
00:32:20,689 --> 00:32:23,089
onto the dance floor
by Prince Charming.
676
00:32:23,089 --> 00:32:24,531
Who?
677
00:32:24,531 --> 00:32:26,157
Prince Charming.
678
00:32:26,931 --> 00:32:28,852
Listen to me, please.
Head up, bum out.
679
00:32:28,852 --> 00:32:31,254
Think Marilyn Monroe...
680
00:32:31,254 --> 00:32:34,135
crossed with a bit of penguin.
681
00:32:34,135 --> 00:32:36,057
And left shoulder,
right shoulder,
682
00:32:36,057 --> 00:32:37,497
left shoulder,
right shoulder,
683
00:32:37,497 --> 00:32:38,457
left shoulder, pivot.
684
00:32:38,457 --> 00:32:42,933
And I hope you were watching,
because now it's your turn.
685
00:32:46,622 --> 00:32:47,583
(Ralph)
Can you imagine
686
00:32:47,583 --> 00:32:49,023
how people around here
would react
687
00:32:49,023 --> 00:32:52,865
if they thought we were
a couple a whoopsies?
688
00:32:52,865 --> 00:32:54,306
"Same-sex couple," Ralph.
689
00:32:54,306 --> 00:32:56,228
We should show
a bit of respect.
690
00:32:56,228 --> 00:32:59,110
I mean, if it hadn't been
for the good ol' poofters,
691
00:32:59,110 --> 00:33:01,991
we wouldn't be getting
this opportunity.
692
00:33:01,991 --> 00:33:03,431
That's it.
693
00:33:03,431 --> 00:33:03,911
Come on, girls.
694
00:33:03,911 --> 00:33:05,351
Put a bit of swish into it.
695
00:33:05,351 --> 00:33:06,312
That's the way.
696
00:33:06,312 --> 00:33:07,273
For goodness sake.
697
00:33:07,273 --> 00:33:08,232
Tummy in.
Head up.
698
00:33:08,232 --> 00:33:08,714
And turn and look.
699
00:33:08,714 --> 00:33:12,556
And, Vince, show Ralphie how
to do it, please.
700
00:33:12,556 --> 00:33:13,516
And watch Vince.
701
00:33:13,516 --> 00:33:14,477
Vince is turning.
702
00:33:14,477 --> 00:33:15,437
Turn the body.
Turn the head.
703
00:33:15,437 --> 00:33:18,319
Yes, head-body's fine,
but turn your body, then head.
704
00:33:18,319 --> 00:33:19,279
Thank you.
705
00:33:19,279 --> 00:33:19,759
And off you go.
706
00:33:19,759 --> 00:33:22,161
(Vince)
I reckon
it's only a matter of time
707
00:33:22,161 --> 00:33:24,562
before same-sex marriage
is an everyday thing.
708
00:33:24,562 --> 00:33:26,483
Here;
let me help you, mate.
709
00:33:26,483 --> 00:33:27,444
There you go.
710
00:33:27,444 --> 00:33:27,923
That'd be nice.
711
00:33:27,923 --> 00:33:31,285
We could have
a little ceremony.
712
00:33:31,285 --> 00:33:33,686
Nothing flashy, just us
and a couple of friends.
713
00:33:33,686 --> 00:33:37,137
Yeah, maybe we could even go
on a honeymoon.
714
00:33:38,969 --> 00:33:40,312
Or not.
715
00:33:44,253 --> 00:33:45,595
Up she goes.
716
00:33:49,535 --> 00:33:50,975
[Horn honking]
717
00:33:50,975 --> 00:33:52,416
(Eric)
The hips.
718
00:33:52,416 --> 00:33:52,898
There he is.
719
00:33:52,898 --> 00:33:55,298
Go get him, tiger.
[Snarls]
720
00:33:55,298 --> 00:33:56,258
Okay, and turning.
721
00:33:56,258 --> 00:33:58,179
Pivot.
Thank you very much.
722
00:33:58,179 --> 00:33:59,620
Swish, swish, swish.
723
00:33:59,620 --> 00:34:03,463
Vince, for God's sake,
Ralph, come on.
724
00:34:03,463 --> 00:34:04,423
[Snarling]
725
00:34:04,423 --> 00:34:08,581
Ooh, there's some dog poo
on my shoe.
726
00:34:09,706 --> 00:34:13,067
That's it.
727
00:34:13,067 --> 00:34:14,028
Pivot and...
728
00:34:14,028 --> 00:34:15,949
hello, boys.
729
00:34:15,949 --> 00:34:18,350
Okay, and what do you see?
730
00:34:18,350 --> 00:34:22,191
Uh, a charming young lady.
731
00:34:22,191 --> 00:34:23,153
Mm-hmm.
732
00:34:23,153 --> 00:34:24,594
And what do you see?
733
00:34:24,594 --> 00:34:27,954
Some ponce
playing a piano.
734
00:34:27,954 --> 00:34:28,436
Mm-hmm.
735
00:34:28,436 --> 00:34:32,300
Now, which one
do you find more attractive?
736
00:34:38,041 --> 00:34:39,962
All right, the ponce.
737
00:34:39,962 --> 00:34:43,324
Oh, no, not Rock.
738
00:34:43,324 --> 00:34:44,764
Don't tell me Rock was.
739
00:34:44,764 --> 00:34:46,684
Gay as a bag
of butterflies.
740
00:34:46,684 --> 00:34:51,007
Where have you been hiding
for the past couple of decades?
741
00:34:51,007 --> 00:34:54,370
Yeah, even I heard
about him
742
00:34:54,370 --> 00:34:54,850
and Gomer Pyle.
743
00:34:54,850 --> 00:34:56,291
Not Gomer Pyle.
744
00:34:56,291 --> 00:34:58,691
[Laughs]
Why not?
745
00:34:58,691 --> 00:35:03,494
Well, he was in the army,
for goodness sake.
746
00:35:03,494 --> 00:35:07,336
Well, if it's hot,
don't touch it!
747
00:35:07,336 --> 00:35:09,408
Out of the way, Fred.
748
00:35:15,500 --> 00:35:16,460
What's up, Ralphie?
749
00:35:16,460 --> 00:35:17,900
My back's still buggered
from your bloody bed.
750
00:35:17,900 --> 00:35:20,782
I don't know what
you're complaining about;
751
00:35:20,782 --> 00:35:21,263
I did all the work.
752
00:35:21,263 --> 00:35:26,067
(Peter Allen)
Whoa, oh, when my baby,
753
00:35:26,067 --> 00:35:27,987
when my baby smiles at me,
754
00:35:27,987 --> 00:35:29,908
I feel like Tarzan...
755
00:35:29,908 --> 00:35:32,789
Now, that's one
I can understand.
756
00:35:32,789 --> 00:35:36,686
And in bungalow
while monkeys play above...
757
00:35:48,638 --> 00:35:51,039
Well, we won't be doing that.
758
00:35:51,039 --> 00:35:52,000
(Delaney)
Hi, Frances.
759
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:53,440
(Francis)
Oh, hi, Father.
760
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:55,961
So how are you boys
getting on?
761
00:35:56,802 --> 00:35:58,242
Good afternoon, Father.
762
00:35:58,242 --> 00:36:00,578
[Keys clicking wildly]
763
00:36:02,565 --> 00:36:03,526
Pull the plug, Ralph.
764
00:36:03,526 --> 00:36:08,328
Pull the plug.
765
00:36:08,328 --> 00:36:09,288
Thunk
Oh!
766
00:36:09,288 --> 00:36:12,650
He dropped a dollar.
767
00:36:12,650 --> 00:36:13,610
Oh.
768
00:36:13,610 --> 00:36:15,531
Got it?
Yeah.
769
00:36:15,531 --> 00:36:16,492
Are you guys okay?
770
00:36:16,492 --> 00:36:17,933
Oh, yeah.
771
00:36:17,933 --> 00:36:20,334
It's just
accounting business.
772
00:36:20,334 --> 00:36:22,736
Just finished.
773
00:36:22,736 --> 00:36:24,657
(Eric)
Good, Vince, good.
774
00:36:24,657 --> 00:36:25,136
Yes.
775
00:36:25,136 --> 00:36:27,539
And ready for the pivot?
776
00:36:27,539 --> 00:36:28,979
Pivot and look.
777
00:36:28,979 --> 00:36:29,939
Lovely.
778
00:36:29,939 --> 00:36:32,340
Very good.
779
00:36:32,340 --> 00:36:34,261
And what's wrong
with Ralphie, hmm?
780
00:36:34,261 --> 00:36:36,183
She's tired.
781
00:36:36,183 --> 00:36:37,143
Oh, come on, mate.
782
00:36:37,143 --> 00:36:39,544
You were just starting
to get really good at it.
783
00:36:39,544 --> 00:36:40,985
(Eric)
She's tired, is she?
784
00:36:40,985 --> 00:36:42,426
Well, do you know something?
785
00:36:42,426 --> 00:36:44,828
This is just not working,
is it?
786
00:36:44,828 --> 00:36:46,748
I mean, I know
the inspector isn't here
787
00:36:46,748 --> 00:36:48,189
for a couple more days,
but this is hopeless.
788
00:36:48,189 --> 00:36:52,511
You boys, you need
to immerse yourself
789
00:36:52,511 --> 00:36:53,473
in the culture.
790
00:36:53,473 --> 00:36:58,274
You need to be where gay rules,
were queens abound,
791
00:36:58,274 --> 00:37:01,156
where men are men
792
00:37:01,156 --> 00:37:02,596
and women
are totally superfluous.
793
00:37:02,596 --> 00:37:06,438
You boys need to see
what I've seen.
794
00:37:06,438 --> 00:37:10,761
You need to walk the walk
and dance the dance, hmm?
795
00:37:10,761 --> 00:37:11,722
In short, gentlemen,
796
00:37:11,722 --> 00:37:16,044
you need to follow
the Yellow Brick Road.
797
00:37:16,044 --> 00:37:19,405
Yellow.
Yellow Brick Road.
798
00:37:19,405 --> 00:37:21,709
Where?
799
00:37:27,570 --> 00:37:31,892
(woman)
Can't believe.
800
00:37:34,774 --> 00:37:36,215
Take me.
801
00:37:36,215 --> 00:37:38,616
I have no choice.
802
00:37:41,978 --> 00:37:42,937
Take me.
803
00:37:42,937 --> 00:37:45,819
You will understand.
804
00:37:45,819 --> 00:37:46,300
Take me.
805
00:37:46,300 --> 00:37:48,220
(man)
I'll do what I gotta do.
806
00:37:48,220 --> 00:37:49,182
Suit up.
807
00:37:49,182 --> 00:37:51,582
(woman)
Can't believe.
808
00:37:51,582 --> 00:37:55,905
(man)
I can't believe
what I'm about to do.
809
00:37:55,905 --> 00:37:58,306
Hey, fellows...
[unintelligible].
810
00:37:58,306 --> 00:38:00,387
Yeah, right, mate.
811
00:38:02,307 --> 00:38:03,748
Crikey.
812
00:38:03,748 --> 00:38:07,110
(woman)
I have no choice.
813
00:38:08,552 --> 00:38:10,952
(man)
I can't believe
what I'm about to do,
814
00:38:10,952 --> 00:38:12,393
but I can't get caught.
815
00:38:12,393 --> 00:38:14,315
See, I have no choice.
Gotta pay my dues.
816
00:38:14,315 --> 00:38:15,755
All eyes on me,
but mine's on you.
817
00:38:15,755 --> 00:38:18,636
Who'd have thought
that lies and truth would
818
00:38:18,636 --> 00:38:19,597
team up?
819
00:38:19,597 --> 00:38:21,518
Take me by surprise,
you will not.
820
00:38:21,518 --> 00:38:24,881
I'll do what I gotta do.
Suit up.
821
00:38:24,881 --> 00:38:25,841
Vince.
822
00:38:25,841 --> 00:38:26,321
Huh?
823
00:38:26,321 --> 00:38:28,723
We're supposed to be gay,
remember?
824
00:38:28,723 --> 00:38:30,162
What was that?
825
00:38:30,162 --> 00:38:32,564
I don't know,
but you keep your eye on him,
826
00:38:32,564 --> 00:38:33,524
and I'll go grab a stick.
827
00:38:33,524 --> 00:38:35,925
It's right around here
somewhere.
828
00:38:35,925 --> 00:38:37,367
What about down there?
829
00:38:37,367 --> 00:38:38,327
I don't know.
830
00:38:38,327 --> 00:38:40,816
We'll give it a try.
831
00:38:43,130 --> 00:38:46,012
Okay, this'll be
no big deal.
832
00:38:46,012 --> 00:38:46,971
We'll just go in,
833
00:38:46,971 --> 00:38:48,893
bite the froth
off a couple of beers,
834
00:38:48,893 --> 00:38:51,294
observe a bit
of the culture.
835
00:38:51,294 --> 00:38:54,645
Then we'll be done.
836
00:38:59,458 --> 00:39:00,735
There.
837
00:39:05,221 --> 00:39:07,142
[Engine revving]
838
00:39:07,142 --> 00:39:10,013
Are you sure
this is the place?
839
00:39:14,826 --> 00:39:18,187
Oh, yeah,
this is the place.
840
00:39:18,187 --> 00:39:19,149
Hey, listen up, ladies,
841
00:39:19,149 --> 00:39:21,550
I think your dates
have just arrived.
842
00:39:21,550 --> 00:39:23,820
Hubba hubba.
843
00:39:25,392 --> 00:39:28,274
So what do we think?
844
00:39:28,274 --> 00:39:30,674
Well, I think good luck,
be careful,
845
00:39:30,674 --> 00:39:32,115
and I'll see you
back in Yack.
846
00:39:32,115 --> 00:39:33,076
Nah. Come on, mate.
847
00:39:33,076 --> 00:39:34,996
It's not like
they're going to try
848
00:39:34,996 --> 00:39:36,437
and jump on us or anything.
849
00:39:36,437 --> 00:39:37,878
I mean, look at us.
850
00:39:37,878 --> 00:39:40,279
We're not exactly
supermodels.
851
00:39:40,279 --> 00:39:43,161
T o them, we're just a couple
of old rough scrubbers.
852
00:39:43,161 --> 00:39:45,082
Especially you.
853
00:39:45,082 --> 00:39:47,003
I'll tell you what.
854
00:39:47,003 --> 00:39:49,884
I think we're going
to have to go shopping.
855
00:39:49,884 --> 00:39:54,687
Shopping?
Shopping?
856
00:39:54,687 --> 00:39:56,608
You look gorgeous.
857
00:39:56,608 --> 00:39:58,049
[Laughs nervously]
Yeah.
858
00:39:58,049 --> 00:40:00,930
Are you sure this is what
they're all wearing?
859
00:40:00,930 --> 00:40:01,892
Absolutely.
860
00:40:01,892 --> 00:40:05,690
Move around.
Move around.
861
00:40:14,858 --> 00:40:17,478
A bit snug.
862
00:40:18,220 --> 00:40:21,036
Hey, Ralph.
863
00:40:22,541 --> 00:40:23,022
How do I look?
864
00:40:23,022 --> 00:40:26,864
Like two pound of sausages
in a one-pound bag.
865
00:40:26,864 --> 00:40:29,264
They're supposed
to be tight.
866
00:40:29,264 --> 00:40:30,226
Aren't they?
867
00:40:30,226 --> 00:40:32,146
Oh, yes,
that's right, doll.
868
00:40:32,146 --> 00:40:33,587
You look great.
869
00:40:33,587 --> 00:40:34,067
[Laughs]
870
00:40:34,067 --> 00:40:35,028
Yeah, well,
all right, then.
871
00:40:35,028 --> 00:40:36,949
Now let's have a look
at you,
872
00:40:36,949 --> 00:40:39,700
Mrs. Fancy Pants.
873
00:40:49,435 --> 00:40:53,278
You look divine.
874
00:40:53,278 --> 00:40:55,198
They seem to fit very well.
875
00:40:55,198 --> 00:40:58,080
Yeah, turn around.
876
00:40:58,080 --> 00:40:59,041
No.
877
00:40:59,041 --> 00:41:00,962
Come on, mate.
Turn around.
878
00:41:00,962 --> 00:41:01,922
No.
879
00:41:01,922 --> 00:41:04,324
Ralphie, come on.
Turn around.
880
00:41:04,324 --> 00:41:05,764
No.
881
00:41:05,764 --> 00:41:09,606
Perhaps I could find a pair
with the bum still in them.
882
00:41:09,606 --> 00:41:11,047
That might help.
883
00:41:11,047 --> 00:41:13,447
Yeah, yeah,
that'd be lovely.
884
00:41:13,447 --> 00:41:14,889
Thank you.
885
00:41:14,889 --> 00:41:17,771
[Stayin' Alive]
886
00:41:31,698 --> 00:41:34,099
I'll tell you
when you can get in, okay?
887
00:41:34,099 --> 00:41:36,981
If I'd known
it would come to this...
888
00:41:36,981 --> 00:41:37,941
What, you got yourself
889
00:41:37,941 --> 00:41:40,823
a whole new outfit,
and you're still not happy.
890
00:41:40,823 --> 00:41:43,224
Imagine what the mob
back in Yackandandah would say.
891
00:41:43,224 --> 00:41:45,144
Mate, don't even joke
about that.
892
00:41:45,144 --> 00:41:46,106
You standing there
893
00:41:46,106 --> 00:41:48,507
like fourpence worth
of God-help-us.
894
00:41:48,507 --> 00:41:50,907
It's a pity that fellow
couldn't find you
895
00:41:50,907 --> 00:41:52,349
the other pair of pants.
896
00:41:52,349 --> 00:41:54,270
What's wrong
with these, mate?
897
00:41:54,270 --> 00:41:55,231
Ralphie.
898
00:41:55,231 --> 00:41:57,152
I'm all for looking up
old friends,
899
00:41:57,152 --> 00:41:58,592
but that's ridiculous.
900
00:41:58,592 --> 00:42:00,033
[Laughter]
901
00:42:00,033 --> 00:42:00,994
Boys.
Hi.
902
00:42:00,994 --> 00:42:02,271
In you go.
903
00:42:03,395 --> 00:42:04,355
Nice hair, doll.
904
00:42:04,355 --> 00:42:05,731
Thanks, mate.
905
00:42:07,716 --> 00:42:12,039
(Blondie)
Here comes the 21st century.
906
00:42:15,401 --> 00:42:18,762
Here comes the 21st century.
907
00:42:22,124 --> 00:42:25,486
It's gonna be much better
for a girl like me.
908
00:42:25,486 --> 00:42:28,849
[Echoing]
For a girl like me,
for a girl like me.
909
00:42:28,849 --> 00:42:32,690
It's gonna be much better
for a girl like me,
910
00:42:32,690 --> 00:42:35,091
for a girl like me.
911
00:42:49,498 --> 00:42:53,821
I want that man.
I want that man.
912
00:42:57,183 --> 00:42:58,624
I want that man.
913
00:42:58,624 --> 00:43:01,985
Yeah, I need a drink.
914
00:43:01,985 --> 00:43:02,946
Are you going to leave me?
915
00:43:02,946 --> 00:43:04,866
...21st century.
916
00:43:04,866 --> 00:43:08,709
It's gonna be much better
for a girl like me.
917
00:43:08,709 --> 00:43:11,591
Oh, don't worry
about it, darlin'.
918
00:43:11,591 --> 00:43:13,992
Little Timmy's going
to look after you.
919
00:43:13,992 --> 00:43:17,833
I want that man.
I want that man.
920
00:43:19,274 --> 00:43:21,676
Hey!
921
00:43:24,558 --> 00:43:27,439
I wanna dance
with Harry Dean,
922
00:43:27,439 --> 00:43:30,800
drive through Texas
in a black limousine.
923
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:35,122
I want a piece of heaven
'fore I die.
924
00:43:38,004 --> 00:43:41,366
I want a pair
of pink high heels
925
00:43:41,366 --> 00:43:44,729
that catch the lights
up on the Ferris wheel.
926
00:43:44,729 --> 00:43:49,050
But what I really want,
I just can't buy.
927
00:43:50,010 --> 00:43:53,373
Here comes the 21st century.
928
00:43:53,373 --> 00:43:57,215
It's gonna be much better
for a girl like me.
929
00:43:57,215 --> 00:44:01,056
'Cause I want everything
I can.
930
00:44:01,056 --> 00:44:03,938
Most of all,
I want that man.
931
00:44:03,938 --> 00:44:06,338
I want that man.
932
00:44:12,101 --> 00:44:15,464
I wanna move
like what's-his-name.
933
00:44:15,464 --> 00:44:18,826
I'll keep the money.
You can have the fame.
934
00:44:18,826 --> 00:44:23,628
Everything that's yours
will soon be mine.
935
00:44:24,109 --> 00:44:26,990
Yeah, I wanna be
the queen...
936
00:44:26,990 --> 00:44:28,430
She's good.
937
00:44:28,430 --> 00:44:28,911
Oh, yeah, right.
938
00:44:28,911 --> 00:44:31,312
Spice of
somethin' else, huh?
939
00:44:31,312 --> 00:44:32,753
Got that right.
940
00:44:32,753 --> 00:44:34,193
First time here?
941
00:44:34,193 --> 00:44:35,635
Yeah, I'm just up
from the country.
942
00:44:35,635 --> 00:44:39,956
Um... certainly takes
all types, doesn't it?
943
00:44:39,956 --> 00:44:42,838
You've got that right.
944
00:44:42,838 --> 00:44:44,760
Hi, I'm Justin.
945
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:47,161
Oh, Vince.
Nice to meet ya.
946
00:44:47,161 --> 00:44:48,723
You too.
947
00:44:50,522 --> 00:44:51,002
Hey.
948
00:44:51,002 --> 00:44:56,445
Could I have a couple
of cold ones, mate... love?
949
00:44:56,445 --> 00:44:57,406
Nice to meet you, Vince.
950
00:44:57,406 --> 00:44:58,847
Yeah, you too, Justin.
951
00:44:58,847 --> 00:44:59,808
Have a good night.
952
00:44:59,808 --> 00:45:02,624
Same to you.
953
00:45:04,610 --> 00:45:05,571
Ralph.
954
00:45:05,571 --> 00:45:10,373
This here is Laurie,
Neil, and Anthony.
955
00:45:10,373 --> 00:45:11,334
G'day.
956
00:45:11,334 --> 00:45:13,255
Everybody, Ralph.
957
00:45:13,255 --> 00:45:16,518
Go on.
Sit, sit, sit.
958
00:45:17,577 --> 00:45:20,459
Just trying to work out
where I know you from.
959
00:45:20,459 --> 00:45:23,340
Did we meet
at the Old Glory Hole?
960
00:45:23,340 --> 00:45:27,181
No, I'm pretty sure we didn't.
961
00:45:27,181 --> 00:45:28,142
'99 Mardi Gras.
962
00:45:28,142 --> 00:45:29,584
You were the one
in the fig leaf.
963
00:45:29,584 --> 00:45:32,464
(Timmy)
No, no, I doubt it.
964
00:45:32,464 --> 00:45:34,386
Ralph is just up
from the country.
965
00:45:34,386 --> 00:45:36,306
Yeah? You ride?
966
00:45:36,306 --> 00:45:36,787
Huh?
967
00:45:36,787 --> 00:45:39,188
(Neil)
Do you have a bike?
968
00:45:39,188 --> 00:45:41,589
Oh, yeah, yeah,
a Malvern Star, you know?
969
00:45:41,589 --> 00:45:44,471
With the old Sturmey-Archer
three speeds?
970
00:45:44,471 --> 00:45:46,839
Ooh-hoo,
how cute.
971
00:45:49,273 --> 00:45:50,714
You blokes ride?
972
00:45:50,714 --> 00:45:53,585
Yeah, I got
a '64 Panther.
973
00:45:55,036 --> 00:45:55,997
Mine's a Ducati.
974
00:45:55,997 --> 00:45:58,453
But I do like
Malvern Stars.
975
00:45:59,359 --> 00:46:02,240
I've got an old Indian
in the garage at home
976
00:46:02,240 --> 00:46:04,161
I've been meaning to fix
for years.
977
00:46:04,161 --> 00:46:06,552
Anyone we know?
978
00:46:07,043 --> 00:46:08,965
I'm a mechanic
by trade.
979
00:46:08,965 --> 00:46:10,405
Really?
980
00:46:10,405 --> 00:46:10,885
Well, I have
a sick Ducati.
981
00:46:10,885 --> 00:46:13,286
I wonder if you could take
a look at it for me.
982
00:46:13,286 --> 00:46:15,688
Oh, yeah, sure.
No worries.
983
00:46:15,688 --> 00:46:20,490
You look like a man
who can dance.
984
00:46:20,490 --> 00:46:20,969
Well, actually,
985
00:46:20,969 --> 00:46:23,371
I had samba lessons
when I was 15.
986
00:46:23,371 --> 00:46:24,332
It was a great way
to rub up
987
00:46:24,332 --> 00:46:27,214
against strange women
without getting arrested.
988
00:46:27,214 --> 00:46:30,575
Or strange men,
rub up against men.
989
00:46:30,575 --> 00:46:33,358
So you swing both ways.
990
00:46:33,456 --> 00:46:36,338
No, to the left, mostly.
991
00:46:36,338 --> 00:46:38,259
Come with me.
992
00:46:38,259 --> 00:46:39,219
Well, I was...
993
00:46:39,219 --> 00:46:40,660
Come with me.
994
00:46:40,660 --> 00:46:42,101
Ralph?
995
00:46:42,101 --> 00:46:45,464
(Neil)
I really appreciate this,
you know?
996
00:46:45,464 --> 00:46:46,423
No worries.
997
00:46:46,423 --> 00:46:47,385
(Timmy)
So, Ralph.
998
00:46:47,385 --> 00:46:48,825
T ell us where you
and your friend
999
00:46:48,825 --> 00:46:50,745
have been hiding out
all this time.
1000
00:46:50,745 --> 00:46:55,417
(Ralph)
It's a little town
called Yackandandah.
1001
00:46:55,548 --> 00:46:56,509
You probably
1002
00:46:56,509 --> 00:46:57,949
haven't heard of it.
1003
00:46:57,949 --> 00:46:58,911
The Sleaze Ball.
1004
00:46:58,911 --> 00:47:00,351
What?
1005
00:47:00,351 --> 00:47:02,272
Where I saw you before.
1006
00:47:02,272 --> 00:47:03,232
Nah.
1007
00:47:03,232 --> 00:47:07,555
(Neil)
So when did you two
come out, then?
1008
00:47:07,555 --> 00:47:08,995
Today.
1009
00:47:08,995 --> 00:47:11,298
On the bus.
1010
00:47:13,318 --> 00:47:15,239
Yup, that's it.
1011
00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:17,160
Dirty fuel.
1012
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:20,041
Should give it a test,
though.
1013
00:47:20,041 --> 00:47:22,946
Sure.
1014
00:47:28,686 --> 00:47:32,528
You know, I really could have
done this on my own, Neil.
1015
00:47:32,528 --> 00:47:34,928
And now,
for your entertainment,
1016
00:47:34,928 --> 00:47:38,291
give it up for the luscious,
the gorgeous,
1017
00:47:38,291 --> 00:47:41,653
the breath-taking Monique.
1018
00:47:41,700 --> 00:47:45,544
[cheers and applause]
1019
00:47:52,265 --> 00:47:54,185
Looking at you,
1020
00:47:54,185 --> 00:47:56,105
my troubles are fleeing.
1021
00:47:56,105 --> 00:47:58,986
I'm admiring the view,
1022
00:47:58,986 --> 00:48:01,866
'cause it's you I'm seeing.
1023
00:48:01,866 --> 00:48:04,266
(Neil)
Now let me get you a drink.
1024
00:48:04,266 --> 00:48:05,707
What will it be?
1025
00:48:05,707 --> 00:48:07,627
Just a beer, thanks, Neil.
1026
00:48:07,627 --> 00:48:10,508
Heineken, Redback,
Steinlager, Coopers?
1027
00:48:10,508 --> 00:48:14,348
As long as it's cold.
1028
00:48:14,348 --> 00:48:15,974
Where's your man?
1029
00:48:16,746 --> 00:48:19,148
Oh, haven't got a clue.
1030
00:48:19,148 --> 00:48:22,029
Look, don't get me wrong,
1031
00:48:22,029 --> 00:48:23,948
but you two seem
like an odd couple.
1032
00:48:23,948 --> 00:48:26,829
Well, we're poofs,
aren't we?
1033
00:48:26,829 --> 00:48:30,091
It doesn't get
much odder than that.
1034
00:48:31,630 --> 00:48:33,549
[cell phone ringing]
1035
00:48:33,549 --> 00:48:35,460
[laughter]
1036
00:48:39,789 --> 00:48:40,749
Hello.
1037
00:48:40,749 --> 00:48:41,710
Ralph, what's going on?
1038
00:48:41,710 --> 00:48:44,110
You playing tonight or not?
1039
00:48:44,110 --> 00:48:45,070
Fred.
1040
00:48:45,070 --> 00:48:49,390
Uh, listen, mate.
I'm in Sydney.
1041
00:48:49,390 --> 00:48:50,831
Sydney?
1042
00:48:50,831 --> 00:48:52,752
Yeah, I'm up here...
1043
00:48:52,752 --> 00:48:54,672
for a visit.
1044
00:48:54,672 --> 00:48:55,151
Oh.
1045
00:48:55,151 --> 00:48:57,553
We were expecting you
for poker.
1046
00:48:57,553 --> 00:48:59,951
You have got
to meet Ralph.
1047
00:48:59,951 --> 00:49:01,392
She is so crazy.
1048
00:49:01,392 --> 00:49:02,353
Geez, mate, I forgot.
1049
00:49:02,353 --> 00:49:04,273
She's up from the country
with her boyfriend.
1050
00:49:04,273 --> 00:49:05,712
Yeah, I'll be back tomorrow.
1051
00:49:05,712 --> 00:49:06,672
What's her name, Ralph?
1052
00:49:06,672 --> 00:49:08,593
Sorry, Laurie, what was that?
1053
00:49:08,593 --> 00:49:11,953
I said, what's
your boyfriend's name?
1054
00:49:11,953 --> 00:49:13,393
Vince.
1055
00:49:13,393 --> 00:49:14,834
What was that about Vince?
1056
00:49:14,834 --> 00:49:16,273
Oh, Vince.
1057
00:49:16,273 --> 00:49:17,714
Yeah, he's here.
1058
00:49:17,714 --> 00:49:20,114
[applause]
1059
00:49:24,914 --> 00:49:26,834
He's...
1060
00:49:28,755 --> 00:49:29,715
Ooh, careful, love.
1061
00:49:29,715 --> 00:49:31,636
Give a girl
a hernia.
1062
00:49:31,636 --> 00:49:32,595
Who was that, Ralph?
1063
00:49:32,595 --> 00:49:34,516
Listen, Fred,
I'm in a bar, mate.
1064
00:49:34,516 --> 00:49:37,397
It's very noisy.
1065
00:49:37,397 --> 00:49:38,356
I've got to go.
1066
00:49:38,356 --> 00:49:40,014
I'll see you tomorrow.
1067
00:49:45,076 --> 00:49:47,957
[country music playing quietly]
1068
00:49:52,758 --> 00:49:58,519
It seems Ralph and Vince
are in Sydney.
1069
00:49:58,519 --> 00:49:58,999
Really?
1070
00:49:58,999 --> 00:50:01,399
Why would they be
in Sydney?
1071
00:50:01,399 --> 00:50:04,279
Must have gone
up there for work.
1072
00:50:04,279 --> 00:50:07,159
Yeah, yeah,
sure, sure.
1073
00:50:07,159 --> 00:50:08,119
I think so.
1074
00:50:08,119 --> 00:50:09,079
Vince does have
a business.
1075
00:50:09,079 --> 00:50:11,480
Of course,
he's a businessman.
1076
00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:12,440
Wears a tie and all.
1077
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:14,361
(man)
Probably...
1078
00:50:14,361 --> 00:50:15,800
gone up there for business.
1079
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:16,760
Definitely.
1080
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:19,161
I went to Sydney
for business once.
1081
00:50:19,161 --> 00:50:21,081
See? It's quite common.
1082
00:50:21,081 --> 00:50:22,521
Yeah, of course it is.
1083
00:50:22,521 --> 00:50:23,962
Vince is a businessman.
1084
00:50:23,962 --> 00:50:26,230
He went up there
for business.
1085
00:50:29,241 --> 00:50:31,795
Why do you think
Ralph went?
1086
00:50:36,922 --> 00:50:37,882
Because...
1087
00:50:37,882 --> 00:50:40,283
he's a mechanic.
1088
00:50:40,283 --> 00:50:41,723
Of course he is.
1089
00:50:41,723 --> 00:50:43,643
And a damn good one.
1090
00:50:43,643 --> 00:50:47,092
[cheers and applause]
1091
00:51:04,286 --> 00:51:06,686
Darling,
1092
00:51:06,686 --> 00:51:09,565
Life seemed so gray.
1093
00:51:09,565 --> 00:51:11,006
I wanted to end it
1094
00:51:11,006 --> 00:51:13,887
till that wonderful day
1095
00:51:13,887 --> 00:51:16,767
you started to mend it.
1096
00:51:16,767 --> 00:51:20,607
And if you'll only stay,
1097
00:51:20,607 --> 00:51:24,448
well, then, I'll spend it
1098
00:51:24,448 --> 00:51:30,209
looking at you.
1099
00:51:33,088 --> 00:51:36,766
[cheers and applause]
1100
00:51:52,290 --> 00:51:54,690
Did you get any compliments
on your pants?
1101
00:51:54,690 --> 00:51:57,571
I think my undies
frightened them off.
1102
00:51:57,571 --> 00:51:59,393
[laughs]
1103
00:52:02,372 --> 00:52:03,331
[bear yells]
1104
00:52:03,331 --> 00:52:07,172
Oh, I didn't expect that.
1105
00:52:07,172 --> 00:52:09,573
Oh, neither did I.
1106
00:52:09,573 --> 00:52:10,533
First prize, eh?
1107
00:52:10,533 --> 00:52:12,133
We must have been better
1108
00:52:12,133 --> 00:52:13,573
than I thought we were.
1109
00:52:13,573 --> 00:52:15,013
(Laurie)
How you guys
1110
00:52:15,013 --> 00:52:16,934
enjoying the big city?
1111
00:52:16,934 --> 00:52:18,374
Well, to be honest, Laurie,
1112
00:52:18,374 --> 00:52:20,774
if I hadn't have seen it
with my own eyes,
1113
00:52:20,774 --> 00:52:24,614
I never would have believed
a place like this existed.
1114
00:52:24,614 --> 00:52:25,574
Wonderful, isn't it?
1115
00:52:25,574 --> 00:52:27,974
(Laurie)
Yeah.
1116
00:52:27,974 --> 00:52:30,374
A lot of things have changed
in the last 300 years.
1117
00:52:30,374 --> 00:52:36,135
Nowadays,
it's in to be out.
1118
00:52:36,135 --> 00:52:39,016
No one seems to notice anymore.
1119
00:52:39,016 --> 00:52:40,456
Oh, yeah?
1120
00:52:40,456 --> 00:52:42,376
You should come down
to Yackandandah.
1121
00:52:42,376 --> 00:52:44,295
I grew up in the country,
1122
00:52:44,295 --> 00:52:45,736
and I can tell you,
it was not easy.
1123
00:52:45,736 --> 00:52:47,656
(Neil)
You guys are heroes.
1124
00:52:47,656 --> 00:52:48,616
You know that?
1125
00:52:48,616 --> 00:52:53,417
I mean, you've lived
amongst all this prejudice,
1126
00:52:53,417 --> 00:52:57,737
and here you are,
years past your prime,
1127
00:52:57,737 --> 00:53:01,099
eyes filled with passion
1128
00:53:01,099 --> 00:53:02,538
that's only for each other.
1129
00:53:02,538 --> 00:53:06,859
Yeah, just look
at the two of you.
1130
00:53:06,859 --> 00:53:09,738
Beautiful.
1131
00:53:09,738 --> 00:53:11,659
You know...
1132
00:53:11,659 --> 00:53:15,369
you make me proud
to be a gay man.
1133
00:53:18,380 --> 00:53:19,340
T o Ralph and Vince.
1134
00:53:19,340 --> 00:53:21,260
(Neil)
T o Ralph and Vince.
1135
00:53:21,260 --> 00:53:23,781
(Tim)
T o Ralph and Vince.
1136
00:53:26,061 --> 00:53:27,916
Who wants
another drink?
1137
00:53:39,022 --> 00:53:41,422
You know,
it's funny, mate.
1138
00:53:41,422 --> 00:53:42,862
And don't take this
the wrong way.
1139
00:53:42,862 --> 00:53:46,703
But the worst thing
about all this gay business
1140
00:53:46,703 --> 00:53:49,103
is not that
people think I'm gay.
1141
00:53:49,103 --> 00:53:52,943
It's that people think
I'm going out with you.
1142
00:53:52,943 --> 00:53:53,423
Eh?
1143
00:53:53,423 --> 00:53:55,343
Well, no offense,
but if I was really gay,
1144
00:53:55,343 --> 00:54:00,144
I could do
a lot better than you.
1145
00:54:00,144 --> 00:54:01,104
Yeah?
1146
00:54:01,104 --> 00:54:02,064
I tell you what.
1147
00:54:02,064 --> 00:54:03,024
If I was really gay,
1148
00:54:03,024 --> 00:54:05,425
I could do a hell
of a lot better than you.
1149
00:54:05,425 --> 00:54:07,345
Sorry, mate.
I don't think so.
1150
00:54:07,345 --> 00:54:07,825
Oh, yeah,
1151
00:54:07,825 --> 00:54:10,705
I'd have good-looking blokes
after me, you know,
1152
00:54:10,705 --> 00:54:12,146
like movie stars
and that.
1153
00:54:12,146 --> 00:54:13,105
Like who?
1154
00:54:13,105 --> 00:54:15,986
Oh, Burt Reynolds.
1155
00:54:15,986 --> 00:54:17,426
Burt Reynolds isn't gay.
1156
00:54:17,426 --> 00:54:21,266
No, but I could probably
get him to turn.
1157
00:54:21,266 --> 00:54:22,892
You certainly couldn't.
1158
00:54:26,548 --> 00:54:27,508
Vince.
1159
00:54:27,508 --> 00:54:28,947
Yeah, mate?
1160
00:54:28,947 --> 00:54:33,268
I think it's just as well
we're going home today.
1161
00:54:33,268 --> 00:54:36,650
Yeah.
1162
00:54:44,789 --> 00:54:46,928
[tires screeching]
1163
00:55:01,110 --> 00:55:03,511
[Carla on answering machine]
Hey, Dad.
1164
00:55:03,511 --> 00:55:04,471
You're probably out
1165
00:55:04,471 --> 00:55:06,871
helping get things ready
for the ball tonight.
1166
00:55:06,871 --> 00:55:07,832
We're at Jigalong,
1167
00:55:07,832 --> 00:55:11,192
and Pete's just
filling up the car.
1168
00:55:11,192 --> 00:55:12,152
Just rang to see
if you needed us
1169
00:55:12,152 --> 00:55:15,512
to bring a chicken
or anything for tea.
1170
00:55:15,512 --> 00:55:15,992
But you're not home,
1171
00:55:15,992 --> 00:55:17,912
so we'll sort it out
when we get there.
1172
00:55:17,912 --> 00:55:23,695
Okay, see you soon, Dad. Bye.
1173
00:55:45,275 --> 00:55:46,715
(Yvonne)
Vince?
1174
00:55:46,715 --> 00:55:47,196
There was
1175
00:55:47,196 --> 00:55:49,117
a gentleman here today asking
1176
00:55:49,117 --> 00:55:50,556
where you boys were earlier.
1177
00:55:50,556 --> 00:55:51,036
Really?
1178
00:55:51,036 --> 00:55:52,476
Yeah, he said
he was a bit early,
1179
00:55:52,476 --> 00:55:53,917
and I had no idea
where you were,
1180
00:55:53,917 --> 00:55:55,837
but he said
he'd be back.
1181
00:55:55,837 --> 00:55:58,293
Oh, here he comes now.
1182
00:56:01,597 --> 00:56:02,557
Um, Vonnie.
1183
00:56:02,557 --> 00:56:03,037
Mm-hmm.
1184
00:56:03,037 --> 00:56:03,997
Me and Ralph
are in a big hurry.
1185
00:56:03,997 --> 00:56:06,877
Can you do us
a really big favor?
1186
00:56:06,877 --> 00:56:07,358
Yeah.
1187
00:56:07,358 --> 00:56:10,239
Will you just tell this guy
to meet us at Ralph's place
1188
00:56:10,239 --> 00:56:11,678
in, say, half an hour?
1189
00:56:11,678 --> 00:56:13,119
Is everything all right?
1190
00:56:13,119 --> 00:56:14,559
Oh, yeah.
1191
00:56:14,559 --> 00:56:16,948
Just a business thing.
1192
00:56:20,799 --> 00:56:22,719
Vonnie, thanks.
1193
00:56:22,719 --> 00:56:24,640
Oh, Vince.
1194
00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:26,167
[bear yells]
1195
00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:31,350
I'd like to wrap it nice
for you.
1196
00:56:31,841 --> 00:56:32,800
[disappointed]
Oh.
1197
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:34,241
He's here, Ralph.
1198
00:56:34,241 --> 00:56:35,201
(Ralph)
Who?
1199
00:56:35,201 --> 00:56:37,122
The bloody ferret
from the--
1200
00:56:37,122 --> 00:56:39,042
(Ralph)
Strewth.
1201
00:56:39,042 --> 00:56:41,922
You must be the gentleman
looking for us.
1202
00:56:41,922 --> 00:56:43,361
I'm Vince Hopgood.
1203
00:56:43,361 --> 00:56:43,841
Ah.
1204
00:56:43,841 --> 00:56:45,762
And this big hunk
is Ralph Williams.
1205
00:56:45,762 --> 00:56:47,682
And I'm Russell McKenzie.
1206
00:56:47,682 --> 00:56:48,162
Russell.
1207
00:56:48,162 --> 00:56:49,602
Sorry, sorry
to keep you waiting.
1208
00:56:49,602 --> 00:56:51,042
We just got off the bus
from Sydney.
1209
00:56:51,042 --> 00:56:53,923
Didn't know you were going
to be here early.
1210
00:56:53,923 --> 00:56:54,403
No worries.
1211
00:56:54,403 --> 00:56:57,763
Um, could--
could you be a dear
1212
00:56:57,763 --> 00:56:58,724
and give us 200 minutes
1213
00:56:58,724 --> 00:57:00,643
to snip home
and take these rags off?
1214
00:57:00,643 --> 00:57:01,604
Of course.
1215
00:57:01,604 --> 00:57:03,524
You got
the address, then?
1216
00:57:03,524 --> 00:57:04,484
I do.
1217
00:57:04,484 --> 00:57:06,785
Splendid.
1218
00:57:07,364 --> 00:57:09,765
Lovely day for it.
1219
00:57:09,765 --> 00:57:11,226
Super.
1220
00:57:23,207 --> 00:57:24,647
What's my favorite color?
1221
00:57:24,647 --> 00:57:25,607
Purple.
1222
00:57:25,607 --> 00:57:26,565
It's blue.
Blue.
1223
00:57:26,565 --> 00:57:31,040
Little things like that
will trip us up.
1224
00:57:37,607 --> 00:57:40,008
Sorry, love.
1225
00:57:40,008 --> 00:57:43,848
So remember:
when we first got together,
1226
00:57:43,848 --> 00:57:45,289
I chased you,
1227
00:57:45,289 --> 00:57:46,729
and you played
hard to get.
1228
00:57:46,729 --> 00:57:48,648
If you say so.
1229
00:57:48,648 --> 00:57:50,089
Good.
1230
00:57:50,089 --> 00:57:52,489
So how'd you do it?
1231
00:57:52,489 --> 00:57:52,970
Do what?
1232
00:57:52,970 --> 00:57:54,409
How'd you win me over?
1233
00:57:54,409 --> 00:57:57,290
I bought you flowers,
took you out to dinner.
1234
00:57:57,290 --> 00:57:59,690
Yeah? Where?
1235
00:57:59,690 --> 00:58:00,650
I don't know, the pub.
1236
00:58:00,650 --> 00:58:03,531
Cheapskate.
That wouldn't win me over.
1237
00:58:03,531 --> 00:58:07,371
All right, I took you
to that flash restaurant
1238
00:58:07,371 --> 00:58:08,332
in the Beachworth Motel.
1239
00:58:08,332 --> 00:58:11,211
Well, at least that's got
a bit of atmosphere.
1240
00:58:11,211 --> 00:58:13,131
Yeah, might have even
treated you
1241
00:58:13,131 --> 00:58:14,571
to a naughty weekend.
1242
00:58:14,571 --> 00:58:17,321
I don't even want
to think about that.
1243
00:58:21,772 --> 00:58:22,733
Okay.
1244
00:58:22,733 --> 00:58:24,173
What?
1245
00:58:24,173 --> 00:58:25,614
Mate, I don't want
to do this
1246
00:58:25,614 --> 00:58:27,053
any more than you do.
1247
00:58:27,053 --> 00:58:29,934
But we got to look
like the real McCoy.
1248
00:58:29,934 --> 00:58:32,421
Agh.
1249
00:58:38,094 --> 00:58:40,494
Relax.
1250
00:58:40,494 --> 00:58:42,020
And then:
1251
00:58:45,776 --> 00:58:47,216
No, no, no, no.
1252
00:58:47,216 --> 00:58:48,175
I can't do it.
1253
00:58:48,175 --> 00:58:51,056
I can't believe you.
1254
00:58:51,056 --> 00:58:53,935
You still find all this
disgusting, don't you?
1255
00:58:53,935 --> 00:58:56,336
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
1256
00:58:56,336 --> 00:58:58,735
After all we've seen,
all the people we've met,
1257
00:58:58,735 --> 00:59:02,097
you still find homosexuality
disgusting.
1258
00:59:02,097 --> 00:59:05,937
No, I don't find homosexuality
disgusting at all.
1259
00:59:05,937 --> 00:59:10,673
I just think
it'd be disgusting with you.
1260
00:59:16,017 --> 00:59:16,498
Yeah.
1261
00:59:16,498 --> 00:59:18,898
All the more reason
we have to rehearse.
1262
00:59:18,898 --> 00:59:20,971
Come on.
1263
00:59:21,778 --> 00:59:25,673
Come here.
Here we go.
1264
00:59:28,500 --> 00:59:30,419
Not so bad.
1265
00:59:30,419 --> 00:59:31,794
Movin' up.
1266
00:59:37,139 --> 00:59:38,100
Now enjoy it.
1267
00:59:38,100 --> 00:59:40,501
Big Ralphie smile.
1268
00:59:40,501 --> 00:59:41,460
[car door slams]
1269
00:59:41,460 --> 00:59:43,381
Oh, shit, he's here.
1270
00:59:43,381 --> 00:59:45,302
You get the front door.
1271
00:59:45,302 --> 00:59:47,538
I'll finish getting changed.
1272
00:59:49,142 --> 00:59:50,102
Oh, shit.
1273
00:59:50,102 --> 00:59:51,542
He's coming round the back way.
1274
00:59:51,542 --> 00:59:55,863
Seems somehow appropriate.
1275
00:59:55,863 --> 00:59:58,732
[dog barking]
1276
00:59:59,703 --> 01:00:00,663
Hi, Dad.
1277
01:00:00,663 --> 01:00:02,584
Carla.
1278
01:00:02,584 --> 01:00:05,464
Oh.
1279
01:00:05,464 --> 01:00:06,904
Uh...
1280
01:00:06,904 --> 01:00:08,823
this is a bit awkward.
1281
01:00:08,823 --> 01:00:11,225
Do you think you could come back
a little later?
1282
01:00:11,225 --> 01:00:14,584
See, Vince--Vince and I have got
an important business meeting
1283
01:00:14,584 --> 01:00:17,465
with a bloke, see,
in a few minutes.
1284
01:00:17,465 --> 01:00:20,344
So do you reckon
you could take Peter
1285
01:00:20,344 --> 01:00:24,185
for a drive around town
or a drink or something?
1286
01:00:24,185 --> 01:00:26,586
Okay.
Is everything all right?
1287
01:00:26,586 --> 01:00:27,065
Oh, fine, fine.
1288
01:00:27,065 --> 01:00:28,506
It's just that this bloke
1289
01:00:28,506 --> 01:00:30,426
is come down
from the city especially.
1290
01:00:30,426 --> 01:00:33,307
So if you could come back
in about an hour, okay?
1291
01:00:33,307 --> 01:00:34,747
[floor creaks]
1292
01:00:34,747 --> 01:00:36,667
(Carla)
Hey, Vince!
1293
01:00:36,667 --> 01:00:38,108
Why is Vince--
1294
01:00:38,108 --> 01:00:39,068
[knocking at door]
1295
01:00:39,068 --> 01:00:40,028
I can't talk, love.
1296
01:00:40,028 --> 01:00:41,948
I think that's the bloke
at the door now.
1297
01:00:41,948 --> 01:00:43,387
Look, I'll see you soon.
1298
01:00:43,387 --> 01:00:45,493
Bye.
Bye.
1299
01:00:48,188 --> 01:00:49,148
Well.
1300
01:00:49,148 --> 01:00:50,108
Hello.
1301
01:00:50,108 --> 01:00:51,069
Come in.
Come in.
1302
01:00:51,069 --> 01:00:52,988
Entrez-vous.
1303
01:00:52,988 --> 01:00:55,869
Thank you.
1304
01:00:55,869 --> 01:00:58,749
Hey, baby,
don't worry about that.
1305
01:00:58,749 --> 01:01:00,670
We'll come back in a while.
1306
01:01:00,670 --> 01:01:04,696
Oh, okay.
1307
01:01:04,990 --> 01:01:06,910
What the hell
are you doing?
1308
01:01:06,910 --> 01:01:07,870
I've got to get out of here.
1309
01:01:07,870 --> 01:01:08,830
I can't do this.
1310
01:01:08,830 --> 01:01:09,790
Can't do what?
1311
01:01:09,790 --> 01:01:11,711
(McKenzie)
I see you two are film buffs.
1312
01:01:11,711 --> 01:01:13,150
Oh, yes,
we just adore the cinema.
1313
01:01:13,150 --> 01:01:17,472
Of course, it's wonderful
owning the local theater.
1314
01:01:17,472 --> 01:01:18,431
You can't do what?
1315
01:01:18,431 --> 01:01:19,392
You can't desert me now.
1316
01:01:19,392 --> 01:01:21,792
No one was supposed to know.
Now Carla's seen you.
1317
01:01:21,792 --> 01:01:23,233
I just had to lie to her,
for God's sake,
1318
01:01:23,233 --> 01:01:25,631
and now I've got
some freaking tax inspector
1319
01:01:25,631 --> 01:01:26,592
sitting in my living room.
1320
01:01:26,592 --> 01:01:28,033
Look, I'm sorry about that.
1321
01:01:28,033 --> 01:01:29,658
Bullshit, you're sorry.
1322
01:01:31,392 --> 01:01:32,833
I was happy
to go along with this
1323
01:01:32,833 --> 01:01:35,233
to help you out,
but it's gone too far.
1324
01:01:35,233 --> 01:01:38,114
Come on.
We can do this.
1325
01:01:38,114 --> 01:01:41,496
[arguing]
1326
01:01:44,835 --> 01:01:45,794
(Ralph)
Shit.
1327
01:01:45,794 --> 01:01:47,714
Cramp, cramp.
1328
01:01:47,714 --> 01:01:50,115
Push, push.
1329
01:01:50,115 --> 01:01:51,074
Harder, harder!
1330
01:01:51,074 --> 01:01:53,475
You okay in there?
1331
01:01:53,475 --> 01:01:56,355
Uh, we're fine.
1332
01:01:56,355 --> 01:01:57,566
Ah!
1333
01:02:00,196 --> 01:02:03,229
Let me stand on it.
1334
01:02:03,557 --> 01:02:06,916
On we go.
We can do it; come on.
1335
01:02:06,916 --> 01:02:07,877
No, Vince.
1336
01:02:07,877 --> 01:02:09,633
You're on your own, mate.
1337
01:02:11,237 --> 01:02:13,157
Mate, don't do this to us.
1338
01:02:13,157 --> 01:02:15,492
Sorry.
1339
01:02:30,918 --> 01:02:31,879
Oh, sorry
1340
01:02:31,879 --> 01:02:33,320
to keep you waiting,
Russell.
1341
01:02:33,320 --> 01:02:34,759
Ralph will be joining us
in a moment.
1342
01:02:34,759 --> 01:02:37,640
He's trying to put
an outfit together.
1343
01:02:37,640 --> 01:02:41,000
Can I get you
something to drink?
1344
01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:43,401
Tea, coffee,
something stronger?
1345
01:02:43,401 --> 01:02:45,801
No, I'm fine, thanks,
Mr. Hopgood.
1346
01:02:45,801 --> 01:02:50,056
Oh, call me Vinnie.
1347
01:03:07,403 --> 01:03:08,363
That's...
1348
01:03:08,363 --> 01:03:12,203
a lovely tie
you're wearing, Russell.
1349
01:03:12,203 --> 01:03:13,164
Well, thank you.
1350
01:03:13,164 --> 01:03:14,124
My favorite color,
1351
01:03:14,124 --> 01:03:16,033
actually.
1352
01:03:20,365 --> 01:03:21,805
Oh, it's Ralph.
1353
01:03:21,805 --> 01:03:23,211
Mr. Williams.
1354
01:03:24,685 --> 01:03:27,565
It was worth the wait.
1355
01:03:27,565 --> 01:03:29,540
Come over here, dear.
1356
01:03:36,206 --> 01:03:41,487
Now, well, how can
this gorgeous man and I
1357
01:03:41,487 --> 01:03:41,967
help you, Russell?
1358
01:03:41,967 --> 01:03:43,886
Well, Mr. Hopgood,
I have to hand here
1359
01:03:43,886 --> 01:03:46,767
your application
for official recognition
1360
01:03:46,767 --> 01:03:49,167
of your same-sex union.
1361
01:03:49,167 --> 01:03:50,607
Oh, yes,
and I just can't tell you
1362
01:03:50,607 --> 01:03:52,048
how thrilled we are
that the government
1363
01:03:52,048 --> 01:03:57,329
has finally recognized
our marriage, as it were.
1364
01:03:57,329 --> 01:04:00,208
Well, it's the validity
of that marriage, Mr. Hopgood,
1365
01:04:00,208 --> 01:04:01,168
that I'm here to establish.
1366
01:04:01,168 --> 01:04:04,530
Unfortunately, this new law
is open to some abuse
1367
01:04:04,530 --> 01:04:07,889
by people with
considerable tax debts,
1368
01:04:07,889 --> 01:04:09,810
for instance.
1369
01:04:09,810 --> 01:04:12,210
Needless to say,
people caught in the act
1370
01:04:12,210 --> 01:04:14,131
of participating
in such fraudulent activity
1371
01:04:14,131 --> 01:04:18,604
will be prosecuted
to the full extent of the law.
1372
01:04:20,851 --> 01:04:21,331
So, now,
1373
01:04:21,331 --> 01:04:24,692
exactly how
did you two good people
1374
01:04:24,692 --> 01:04:26,612
fall in love?
1375
01:04:26,612 --> 01:04:29,972
Yes.
1376
01:04:29,972 --> 01:04:37,174
Well, how does one recall
the day, the moment?
1377
01:04:37,174 --> 01:04:38,133
I walked into the garage,
1378
01:04:38,133 --> 01:04:42,453
and he was standing there
in his overalls,
1379
01:04:42,453 --> 01:04:43,412
screwdriver in his hand
1380
01:04:43,412 --> 01:04:46,293
and deep in the bowels
of a truck engine.
1381
01:04:46,293 --> 01:04:51,094
And he looked up,
and our eyes met,
1382
01:04:51,094 --> 01:04:55,535
and in think in that instant,
we both knew.
1383
01:04:57,015 --> 01:05:00,375
So was there a period
of courtship?
1384
01:05:00,375 --> 01:05:01,336
Courtship?
1385
01:05:01,336 --> 01:05:05,176
Oh, I'll give you
courtship, Russell.
1386
01:05:05,176 --> 01:05:06,616
He pursued me relentlessly.
1387
01:05:06,616 --> 01:05:08,537
Didn't you, Ralphie?
1388
01:05:08,537 --> 01:05:09,977
Well, I wouldn't say that.
1389
01:05:09,977 --> 01:05:13,336
(Vince)
No, no, look at him.
1390
01:05:13,336 --> 01:05:15,256
Buttercup.
1391
01:05:15,256 --> 01:05:17,177
He gets embarrassed
talking about it.
1392
01:05:17,177 --> 01:05:19,097
You see,
we were both locals,
1393
01:05:19,097 --> 01:05:22,938
and growing up, Ralph was
this peculiar young man.
1394
01:05:22,938 --> 01:05:25,819
Always alone, mysterious.
1395
01:05:25,819 --> 01:05:26,778
And you, I mean-
1396
01:05:26,778 --> 01:05:28,699
Let me finish, doll.
1397
01:05:28,699 --> 01:05:32,538
But once he decided
that I was what he wanted,
1398
01:05:32,538 --> 01:05:34,459
well, then he showered me
with gifts.
1399
01:05:34,459 --> 01:05:38,299
He sent me flowers
and roses.
1400
01:05:38,299 --> 01:05:40,154
I sent him a wrench.
1401
01:05:40,700 --> 01:05:45,458
Well, before you knew it...
1402
01:05:46,461 --> 01:05:48,860
It wasn't that quick.
1403
01:05:48,860 --> 01:05:54,141
And, of course,
there was the poetry.
1404
01:05:54,141 --> 01:05:55,581
Poetry?
1405
01:05:55,581 --> 01:05:56,541
Oh, yeah.
1406
01:05:56,541 --> 01:05:58,461
Beneath this shy exterior,
1407
01:05:58,461 --> 01:06:03,262
Little Ralphie here
is quite the romantic.
1408
01:06:03,262 --> 01:06:05,182
Aren't you, sweetie?
1409
01:06:05,182 --> 01:06:06,589
Yeah.
1410
01:06:08,544 --> 01:06:10,463
You have any copies
of these poems?
1411
01:06:10,463 --> 01:06:12,384
For my files, you understand.
1412
01:06:12,384 --> 01:06:15,264
Oh, you know,
1413
01:06:15,264 --> 01:06:17,663
no idea where they got to.
1414
01:06:17,663 --> 01:06:19,584
Hmm.
1415
01:06:19,584 --> 01:06:23,424
Uh, but I can still remember
the first one.
1416
01:06:23,424 --> 01:06:24,385
Really?
1417
01:06:24,385 --> 01:06:26,304
Really?
1418
01:06:26,304 --> 01:06:27,745
Oh, yes.
1419
01:06:27,745 --> 01:06:28,705
It went...
1420
01:06:28,705 --> 01:06:31,488
something like this.
1421
01:06:33,986 --> 01:06:35,427
'Vince, Vince,
1422
01:06:35,427 --> 01:06:37,346
"you are my prince.
1423
01:06:37,346 --> 01:06:39,746
"You came into my life,
1424
01:06:39,746 --> 01:06:43,586
"and you haven't left since.
1425
01:06:43,586 --> 01:06:45,507
"My love for you
1426
01:06:45,507 --> 01:06:47,994
"will always be true.
1427
01:06:48,867 --> 01:06:53,668
Vince, Vince,
my handsome prince."
1428
01:06:53,668 --> 01:06:54,628
Charming.
1429
01:06:54,628 --> 01:06:56,549
Thank you.
1430
01:06:56,549 --> 01:06:59,134
You devil.
1431
01:07:03,268 --> 01:07:06,149
Now, be careful,
there, boys.
1432
01:07:06,149 --> 01:07:08,070
Oh, hello, Carla.
1433
01:07:08,070 --> 01:07:09,509
Hello, Faith.
1434
01:07:09,509 --> 01:07:10,469
You don't have your father
1435
01:07:10,469 --> 01:07:11,910
with you,
do you, dear?
1436
01:07:11,910 --> 01:07:12,870
No, I don't.
Sorry.
1437
01:07:12,870 --> 01:07:13,830
(Faith)
He's just late
1438
01:07:13,830 --> 01:07:15,270
with the fire truck;
that's all.
1439
01:07:15,270 --> 01:07:17,190
Oh, right.
Faith, this is Peta.
1440
01:07:17,190 --> 01:07:18,631
Lovely to meet you, dear.
1441
01:07:18,631 --> 01:07:19,591
Up for the weekend?
1442
01:07:19,591 --> 01:07:21,990
(Carla)
No, just the night,
unfortunately.
1443
01:07:21,990 --> 01:07:23,431
I had to come
and see Dad.
1444
01:07:23,431 --> 01:07:24,870
Oh, of course.
1445
01:07:24,870 --> 01:07:27,751
It must have been
a terrible shock for you, dear.
1446
01:07:27,751 --> 01:07:28,711
Sorry?
1447
01:07:28,711 --> 01:07:33,512
Well, when you heard
about your father and Vince.
1448
01:07:33,512 --> 01:07:34,953
Father and Vince.
1449
01:07:34,953 --> 01:07:36,873
Okay, what
have they done now?
1450
01:07:36,873 --> 01:07:40,550
Each other,
apparently.
1451
01:07:42,153 --> 01:07:45,993
And, yes, we just live
for the cinema.
1452
01:07:45,993 --> 01:07:46,953
And long drives
1453
01:07:46,953 --> 01:07:47,913
through the country.
1454
01:07:47,913 --> 01:07:52,234
And, of course,
Ralph just adores the ballet.
1455
01:07:52,234 --> 01:07:53,674
The ballet?
1456
01:07:53,674 --> 01:07:54,634
I love the ballet.
1457
01:07:54,634 --> 01:07:57,034
Do you have
a particular favorite?
1458
01:07:57,034 --> 01:07:59,435
Uh...
1459
01:07:59,435 --> 01:08:00,876
well, there's--
1460
01:08:00,876 --> 01:08:03,756
there are so many of them,
aren't there?
1461
01:08:03,756 --> 01:08:09,035
It's--it's really hard
to pick just one.
1462
01:08:09,035 --> 01:08:10,476
I think,
1463
01:08:10,476 --> 01:08:15,756
uh, I think
I'd have to say...
1464
01:08:15,756 --> 01:08:18,636
The...
1465
01:08:18,636 --> 01:08:20,077
Nutcracker.
1466
01:08:20,077 --> 01:08:20,557
Suite.
1467
01:08:20,557 --> 01:08:21,038
Nutcracker Suite.
1468
01:08:21,038 --> 01:08:24,878
I saw a production of that
recently in Canberra.
1469
01:08:24,878 --> 01:08:27,758
Really good.
1470
01:08:27,758 --> 01:08:30,157
I see from my files
that you were both previously
1471
01:08:30,157 --> 01:08:31,598
heterosexually married.
1472
01:08:31,598 --> 01:08:34,958
Have you both always known
that you were gay?
1473
01:08:34,958 --> 01:08:37,359
Well, Vince has.
1474
01:08:37,359 --> 01:08:38,799
Haven't you, darling?
1475
01:08:38,799 --> 01:08:39,759
Yeah, yeah,
when we were younger,
1476
01:08:39,759 --> 01:08:43,600
Vince was always hanging
around the football club,
1477
01:08:43,600 --> 01:08:46,480
offering to massage
the players.
1478
01:08:46,480 --> 01:08:48,880
I don't know if I should be
telling you this,
1479
01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:54,641
Russell, but our Vincie used
to put it about a it.
1480
01:08:54,641 --> 01:08:56,081
And behind the wife's back,
1481
01:08:56,081 --> 01:08:57,521
mind you.
1482
01:08:57,521 --> 01:08:58,001
Well--
1483
01:08:58,001 --> 01:09:03,282
No, no, it's my turn.
It's my turn.
1484
01:09:03,282 --> 01:09:06,163
Yes, remember that time
with that young jackaroo,
1485
01:09:06,163 --> 01:09:09,043
Vincie,
in the projection box?
1486
01:09:09,043 --> 01:09:10,482
Yes, I walked in
1487
01:09:10,482 --> 01:09:11,923
unexpectedly.
1488
01:09:11,923 --> 01:09:17,203
And, well, I didn't know
what to think.
1489
01:09:17,203 --> 01:09:19,123
Yes, yes,
1490
01:09:19,123 --> 01:09:21,043
but he's settled down a lot
since those days.
1491
01:09:21,043 --> 01:09:23,444
Haven't you, possum,
hey, hey, yes?
1492
01:09:23,444 --> 01:09:27,285
Yes, and it's all
because of you, buttercup.
1493
01:09:27,285 --> 01:09:29,423
[laughing]
1494
01:09:30,645 --> 01:09:31,605
Ah!
1495
01:09:31,605 --> 01:09:32,564
Thanks, Stan!
1496
01:09:32,564 --> 01:09:34,004
Just leave 'em right there.
1497
01:09:34,004 --> 01:09:36,046
Thanks, mate.
1498
01:09:41,205 --> 01:09:44,567
Well.
1499
01:09:44,567 --> 01:09:46,487
That about does it
for me.
1500
01:09:46,487 --> 01:09:47,927
Oh, finished so soon?
1501
01:09:47,927 --> 01:09:49,847
Yes, I'll send in
my report.
1502
01:09:49,847 --> 01:09:52,727
You'll receive
the results by mail.
1503
01:09:52,727 --> 01:09:55,127
Oh, splendid.
1504
01:09:55,127 --> 01:09:57,527
Oh, one thing.
1505
01:09:57,527 --> 01:09:59,447
You must get
this sworn affidavit
1506
01:09:59,447 --> 01:10:02,808
signed and filled in
by a local citizen,
1507
01:10:02,808 --> 01:10:05,208
preferably someone
of prominence,
1508
01:10:05,208 --> 01:10:08,088
somebody who's known you both
for more than five years.
1509
01:10:08,088 --> 01:10:09,529
Oh, no problem at all,
Russell.
1510
01:10:09,529 --> 01:10:11,450
We'll have it filled out
and sent to you
1511
01:10:11,450 --> 01:10:14,133
before the week's out.
1512
01:10:16,250 --> 01:10:18,649
These are lovely,
aren't they?
1513
01:10:18,649 --> 01:10:21,530
Oh, yes,
Ralphie grew them for me.
1514
01:10:21,530 --> 01:10:23,930
They're
his favorite color.
1515
01:10:23,930 --> 01:10:24,410
Oh.
1516
01:10:24,410 --> 01:10:27,772
Well, one of my
favorite colors.
1517
01:10:27,772 --> 01:10:28,731
I love anything
1518
01:10:28,731 --> 01:10:34,011
in the bluey mauvey
maroonish spectrum.
1519
01:10:34,011 --> 01:10:35,452
Don't I, Ralph?
1520
01:10:35,452 --> 01:10:37,908
Apparently.
1521
01:10:38,811 --> 01:10:40,252
Thank you.
Bye.
1522
01:10:40,252 --> 01:10:42,652
Bye.
Bye.
1523
01:10:42,652 --> 01:10:44,310
Bye.
1524
01:10:45,532 --> 01:10:46,013
G'day.
1525
01:10:46,013 --> 01:10:48,403
Cheerio.
Bye-bye.
1526
01:10:51,293 --> 01:10:54,174
All in all,
that went really well.
1527
01:10:54,174 --> 01:10:56,094
Oh, yeah, really well.
1528
01:10:56,094 --> 01:10:58,014
What about this?
1529
01:10:58,014 --> 01:11:02,814
Oh, well--
we're really late.
1530
01:11:02,814 --> 01:11:04,255
[engine sputters]
1531
01:11:04,255 --> 01:11:06,175
(Ralph)
And again.
1532
01:11:06,175 --> 01:11:09,056
[engine rumbling]
1533
01:11:09,056 --> 01:11:10,430
Quick, the door!
1534
01:11:11,936 --> 01:11:14,336
(Carla)
Dad, are you there?
1535
01:11:14,336 --> 01:11:15,296
Yeah, he's gone.
1536
01:11:15,296 --> 01:11:18,078
So this is the place
where I grew up.
1537
01:11:28,737 --> 01:11:30,178
All right!
1538
01:11:30,178 --> 01:11:30,657
You did it, Ralphie.
1539
01:11:30,657 --> 01:11:34,978
Right, all now we get to do
is get to the hall in one piece
1540
01:11:34,978 --> 01:11:36,418
and find out
if Stan saw anything
1541
01:11:36,418 --> 01:11:38,819
when he dropped
the tomatoes off.
1542
01:11:38,819 --> 01:11:41,219
And if he did,
I'll come up with an excuse.
1543
01:11:41,219 --> 01:11:44,098
Yeah, you'll come up
with an excuse.
1544
01:11:44,098 --> 01:11:45,058
Like what?
1545
01:11:45,058 --> 01:11:49,118
(Vince)
I'll think of something.
1546
01:12:02,021 --> 01:12:04,422
The hand brake.
1547
01:12:04,422 --> 01:12:07,782
[hoedown music]
1548
01:12:07,782 --> 01:12:09,703
What a day, hey, Ralphie?
1549
01:12:09,703 --> 01:12:13,062
At least now we can relax
among our friends,
1550
01:12:13,062 --> 01:12:17,383
just be our normal
charming selves.
1551
01:12:28,905 --> 01:12:30,345
Hello, everybody!
1552
01:12:30,345 --> 01:12:31,784
Coming through!
1553
01:12:31,784 --> 01:12:32,745
Something yummy!
1554
01:12:32,745 --> 01:12:35,144
Something fruity
and full of cream!
1555
01:12:35,144 --> 01:12:39,465
Oh, and a couple of cakes,
as well.
1556
01:12:39,465 --> 01:12:41,386
God, he's good.
1557
01:12:41,386 --> 01:12:43,305
He's better
than the real thing.
1558
01:12:43,305 --> 01:12:44,266
Oh, there's Stan.
1559
01:12:44,266 --> 01:12:46,186
I'm going to go
and talk to him.
1560
01:12:46,186 --> 01:12:48,106
I'm going to find Carla.
1561
01:13:08,749 --> 01:13:09,708
How was Sydney?
1562
01:13:09,708 --> 01:13:12,589
Sydney...
1563
01:13:12,589 --> 01:13:14,030
was okay.
1564
01:13:14,030 --> 01:13:17,388
So why did you go?
1565
01:13:17,388 --> 01:13:19,309
I was--
1566
01:13:19,309 --> 01:13:20,268
Was it business?
1567
01:13:20,268 --> 01:13:22,189
Business,
yeah, that's it.
1568
01:13:22,189 --> 01:13:22,670
Business.
1569
01:13:22,670 --> 01:13:25,551
Oh, Stan, when you got
a minute, mate--
1570
01:13:25,551 --> 01:13:26,990
Did you get
the tomatoes?
1571
01:13:26,990 --> 01:13:28,910
Yeah, yeah, thanks.
1572
01:13:34,671 --> 01:13:35,152
Hey, Vonnie.
1573
01:13:35,152 --> 01:13:38,512
I really want to thank you
for helping us out today.
1574
01:13:38,512 --> 01:13:39,952
That's okay, Vince.
1575
01:13:39,952 --> 01:13:42,351
No, I really want
to thank you--
1576
01:13:42,351 --> 01:13:44,752
you know, like,
take you out to dinner.
1577
01:13:44,752 --> 01:13:46,673
Maybe the little restaurant
1578
01:13:46,673 --> 01:13:48,593
in the motel
up in Beachworth.
1579
01:13:48,593 --> 01:13:50,993
Oh, that's very sweet
of you, Vince,
1580
01:13:50,993 --> 01:13:53,393
but it really
isn't necessary.
1581
01:13:53,393 --> 01:13:54,833
Yes, it is.
1582
01:14:12,596 --> 01:14:14,036
What about lunch, then?
1583
01:14:14,036 --> 01:14:16,436
Let me buy you lunch.
1584
01:14:16,436 --> 01:14:16,916
[laughs]
1585
01:14:16,916 --> 01:14:18,836
Oh, I know: a picnic.
1586
01:14:18,836 --> 01:14:21,237
Nice little picnic
in the countryside,
1587
01:14:21,237 --> 01:14:22,196
you and me.
1588
01:14:22,196 --> 01:14:24,117
Oh, that's very sweet
of you, Vince,
1589
01:14:24,117 --> 01:14:25,556
but what about Ralph?
1590
01:14:25,556 --> 01:14:26,516
What about Ralph?
1591
01:14:26,516 --> 01:14:27,957
What's it got to do
with Ralph?
1592
01:14:27,957 --> 01:14:32,758
Well, he's your--
well, you two are gay.
1593
01:14:32,758 --> 01:14:34,198
Aren't you?
1594
01:14:34,198 --> 01:14:34,678
Me gay?
1595
01:14:34,678 --> 01:14:38,518
No, no, no,
I'm not gay.
1596
01:14:38,518 --> 01:14:41,878
I'm, uh...
1597
01:14:41,878 --> 01:14:42,838
bisexual, you see.
1598
01:14:42,838 --> 01:14:43,799
(Yvonne)
Oh.
1599
01:14:43,799 --> 01:14:46,199
Yeah, I've been
my whole life.
1600
01:14:46,199 --> 01:14:47,638
Oh, Russell.
1601
01:14:47,638 --> 01:14:50,519
Didn't realize
you were still in town.
1602
01:14:50,519 --> 01:14:53,880
Yes, I've got another interview
in the area Monday,
1603
01:14:53,880 --> 01:14:55,320
so I thought,
"What the hell?"
1604
01:14:55,320 --> 01:14:57,720
Stay on,
enjoy the ball.
1605
01:14:57,720 --> 01:14:58,680
Splendid.
1606
01:14:58,680 --> 01:15:00,120
Lot of weirdos in Sydney.
1607
01:15:00,120 --> 01:15:03,481
(Stan)
Saw you two together
this afternoon.
1608
01:15:03,481 --> 01:15:04,441
Didn't want to interrupt.
1609
01:15:04,441 --> 01:15:08,760
(man)
I know what you two
have been up to.
1610
01:15:08,760 --> 01:15:11,641
Vince had dragged you into one
of his business schemes.
1611
01:15:11,641 --> 01:15:12,602
Am I right?
1612
01:15:12,602 --> 01:15:16,442
Yeah, well, I really can't
talk about--
1613
01:15:16,442 --> 01:15:17,402
Ralph.
1614
01:15:17,402 --> 01:15:18,842
Hi, fellas.
1615
01:15:18,842 --> 01:15:20,763
What?
What?
1616
01:15:20,763 --> 01:15:23,163
Oh, sweetheart,
look who's here.
1617
01:15:23,163 --> 01:15:24,603
Oh, fabulous.
1618
01:15:24,603 --> 01:15:27,483
[quietly]
Oh, fuck.
1619
01:15:27,483 --> 01:15:28,923
What's he doing here?
1620
01:15:28,923 --> 01:15:30,363
How the hell
would I know?
1621
01:15:30,363 --> 01:15:32,819
Maybe he likes to dance.
1622
01:15:33,244 --> 01:15:34,684
This is not good, Vince.
1623
01:15:34,684 --> 01:15:36,604
I'll tell you
what I do know:
1624
01:15:36,604 --> 01:15:38,045
tonight, we're going
to be gay.
1625
01:15:38,045 --> 01:15:39,005
Bullshit.
1626
01:15:39,005 --> 01:15:40,925
Carla's going to be here
with her boyfriend.
1627
01:15:40,925 --> 01:15:43,325
I'm not going to be anything
in front of them.
1628
01:15:43,325 --> 01:15:44,285
Need I remind you, Ralph,
1629
01:15:44,285 --> 01:15:47,646
that if Russell reports back
that we're not gay,
1630
01:15:47,646 --> 01:15:49,086
we go to jail, pal.
1631
01:15:49,086 --> 01:15:51,485
Tax evasion,
providing false information,
1632
01:15:51,485 --> 01:15:53,886
bad taste,
God knows what.
1633
01:15:53,886 --> 01:15:55,327
Vince, this is the last time
1634
01:15:55,327 --> 01:15:58,686
I ever let you talk me
into anything.
1635
01:15:58,686 --> 01:16:01,088
Mate, you were great today.
1636
01:16:01,088 --> 01:16:03,967
That's why I know we can
pull this off tonight.
1637
01:16:03,967 --> 01:16:04,447
Come on.
1638
01:16:04,447 --> 01:16:06,368
(man)
I fare thee well.
1639
01:16:06,368 --> 01:16:07,808
I fare thee well.
1640
01:16:07,808 --> 01:16:11,167
I fare thee we-e-e-e-ll.
1641
01:16:11,167 --> 01:16:13,087
I fare thee well.
1642
01:16:13,087 --> 01:16:15,008
I fare thee well.
1643
01:16:15,008 --> 01:16:20,769
I fare thee we-e-e-e-ll.
1644
01:16:22,689 --> 01:16:26,715
[applause]
Thank you!
1645
01:16:30,851 --> 01:16:33,534
What would they be
talking about?
1646
01:16:34,690 --> 01:16:38,531
He's probably
telling them we're gay.
1647
01:16:38,531 --> 01:16:39,011
Shit.
1648
01:16:39,011 --> 01:16:42,372
Maybe the boys
are telling him we're not.
1649
01:16:42,372 --> 01:16:42,851
Shit.
1650
01:16:42,851 --> 01:16:45,731
Do you expect
any more fires this summer?
1651
01:16:45,731 --> 01:16:48,132
Not two years
in a row, no.
1652
01:16:48,132 --> 01:16:51,012
Ralph and Vince
are in the fire brigade.
1653
01:16:51,012 --> 01:16:51,492
Really?
1654
01:16:51,492 --> 01:16:53,893
We've got
to do something gay.
1655
01:16:53,893 --> 01:16:55,812
(man)
Okay, boys and girls.
1656
01:16:55,812 --> 01:16:59,173
Here's an oldie but a goodie.
1657
01:16:59,173 --> 01:17:02,053
[upbeat music]
1658
01:17:02,053 --> 01:17:04,934
They're playing our song.
1659
01:17:05,894 --> 01:17:08,774
Dance--you know,
like at the club.
1660
01:17:08,774 --> 01:17:10,695
Come on.
1661
01:17:10,695 --> 01:17:12,136
No bloody way.
1662
01:17:12,136 --> 01:17:15,495
My oh me oh.
1663
01:17:15,495 --> 01:17:16,455
I go wild,
1664
01:17:16,455 --> 01:17:19,335
and then I have to do
the samba
1665
01:17:19,335 --> 01:17:20,776
and La Bamba.
1666
01:17:20,776 --> 01:17:21,736
Now, I'm not
the kind of person
1667
01:17:21,736 --> 01:17:27,016
with a passionate persuasion
for dancin'
1668
01:17:27,016 --> 01:17:28,936
or romancin'.
1669
01:17:28,936 --> 01:17:29,896
But I give in to the rhythm,
1670
01:17:29,896 --> 01:17:35,177
and my feet follow
the beatin' of my heart.
1671
01:17:35,177 --> 01:17:36,617
Whoa, oh.
1672
01:17:36,617 --> 01:17:38,537
When my baby,
1673
01:17:38,537 --> 01:17:39,977
when my baby smiles at me,
1674
01:17:39,977 --> 01:17:44,297
I go to Rio...
de Janeiro.
1675
01:17:44,297 --> 01:17:46,218
I'm a salsa fellow.
1676
01:17:46,218 --> 01:17:47,659
When my baby smiles at me,
1677
01:17:47,659 --> 01:17:51,018
the sun
lightens up my life.
1678
01:17:51,018 --> 01:17:54,380
And am I free at last.
1679
01:17:54,380 --> 01:17:56,779
What a blast.
1680
01:17:59,181 --> 01:18:02,539
Yee-ha-hoo!
1681
01:18:02,539 --> 01:18:03,980
Whoa, oh.
1682
01:18:03,980 --> 01:18:04,941
When my baby,
1683
01:18:04,941 --> 01:18:09,261
when my baby smiles at me,
I feel like Tarzan
1684
01:18:09,261 --> 01:18:11,181
of the jungle
1685
01:18:11,181 --> 01:18:12,621
there on the hot sand
1686
01:18:12,621 --> 01:18:16,941
and in a bungalow
while monkeys play above-a.
1687
01:18:16,941 --> 01:18:18,862
We make love-a.
1688
01:18:18,862 --> 01:18:19,822
Now, I'm not the type
1689
01:18:19,822 --> 01:18:24,142
to let vibrations
trigger my imagination easily.
1690
01:18:24,142 --> 01:18:26,063
You know that's just not me.
1691
01:18:26,063 --> 01:18:30,863
I turn into a tiger
every time I get beside the
1692
01:18:30,863 --> 01:18:32,783
one I love.
1693
01:18:32,783 --> 01:18:36,624
Your dad's a circus.
1694
01:18:50,065 --> 01:18:54,385
Rio, Rio, Rio, hey!
1695
01:18:54,385 --> 01:18:55,826
[silence]
1696
01:18:55,826 --> 01:18:58,707
How about that,
ladies and gentlemen?
1697
01:18:58,707 --> 01:19:02,668
Can I swing a shoe or what?
1698
01:19:11,667 --> 01:19:12,977
Carla.
1699
01:19:26,070 --> 01:19:27,988
(man)
"Rye whiskey, rye whiskey,
1700
01:19:27,988 --> 01:19:31,350
rye whiskey," I cry.
1701
01:19:32,789 --> 01:19:35,670
If I don't get
rye whiskey...
1702
01:19:35,670 --> 01:19:36,630
So, Vince.
1703
01:19:36,630 --> 01:19:39,030
What the hell was that?
1704
01:19:39,030 --> 01:19:42,391
Well, if whiskey
was a river...
1705
01:19:42,391 --> 01:19:47,672
Well, uh, Eric
and Ralph and I thought
1706
01:19:47,672 --> 01:19:51,031
it would be a good idea
if we did a dance routine.
1707
01:19:51,031 --> 01:19:56,792
"Rye whiskey, rye whiskey,
rye whiskey," I cry.
1708
01:19:56,792 --> 01:19:57,273
Why?
1709
01:19:57,273 --> 01:20:01,593
If I don't get
rye whiskey...
1710
01:20:01,593 --> 01:20:03,034
Entertainment?
1711
01:20:03,034 --> 01:20:04,473
Oh,
1712
01:20:04,473 --> 01:20:06,261
there's Vonnie.
1713
01:20:09,755 --> 01:20:11,674
Vincent.
Faith.
1714
01:20:11,674 --> 01:20:15,514
You know, Mr. Hopwood,
with moves like those,
1715
01:20:15,514 --> 01:20:19,355
one could be forgiven
for believing...
1716
01:20:19,355 --> 01:20:23,195
that you and Mr. Williams
really were gay.
1717
01:20:23,195 --> 01:20:24,635
[laughs]
1718
01:20:24,635 --> 01:20:30,877
Vincent, I know everything.
1719
01:20:30,877 --> 01:20:33,275
(Ralph)
Carla.
1720
01:20:33,275 --> 01:20:34,236
Carla.
1721
01:20:34,236 --> 01:20:36,637
Where are you off to,
sweetheart?
1722
01:20:36,637 --> 01:20:38,557
Dad, what on Earth
is going on?
1723
01:20:38,557 --> 01:20:39,036
I come home.
1724
01:20:39,036 --> 01:20:40,477
You won't even
let me in the house.
1725
01:20:40,477 --> 01:20:41,438
I go off around town,
1726
01:20:41,438 --> 01:20:43,837
and people are saying
that you and Vince...
1727
01:20:43,837 --> 01:20:44,797
are gay.
1728
01:20:44,797 --> 01:20:45,758
And then I go home,
1729
01:20:45,758 --> 01:20:47,199
and the house
is completely weird.
1730
01:20:47,199 --> 01:20:48,158
Then I come here,
1731
01:20:48,158 --> 01:20:50,079
and you and Vince
are making fools of yourself,
1732
01:20:50,079 --> 01:20:52,479
and everybody's
laughing at you.
1733
01:20:52,479 --> 01:20:53,438
Oh, God.
1734
01:20:53,438 --> 01:20:55,839
Where do I begin?
1735
01:20:55,839 --> 01:20:56,799
Being gay?
1736
01:20:56,799 --> 01:20:58,719
Well, uh...
1737
01:20:58,719 --> 01:20:59,679
Dad, are you gay?
1738
01:20:59,679 --> 01:21:00,639
(Ralph)
Shh!
1739
01:21:00,639 --> 01:21:03,520
Now is not a good time.
1740
01:21:03,520 --> 01:21:04,479
Carla.
1741
01:21:04,479 --> 01:21:06,400
Dad, I don't want this,
you know.
1742
01:21:06,400 --> 01:21:07,840
You're my father,
for God's sake.
1743
01:21:07,840 --> 01:21:09,280
I don't want people
1744
01:21:09,280 --> 01:21:10,240
laughing at you.
1745
01:21:10,240 --> 01:21:10,720
Sweetie, it's fine.
1746
01:21:10,720 --> 01:21:12,641
You don't know what it's like.
1747
01:21:12,641 --> 01:21:13,601
Yes, I do.
1748
01:21:13,601 --> 01:21:15,521
Your friends making comments
behind your back.
1749
01:21:15,521 --> 01:21:17,921
And you don't know the crap
that gay people go through.
1750
01:21:17,921 --> 01:21:20,572
Carla, I do.
1751
01:21:21,761 --> 01:21:22,722
Look, sweetheart.
1752
01:21:22,722 --> 01:21:27,522
I can't explain
what's happening here--
1753
01:21:27,522 --> 01:21:28,002
not right now, anyway.
1754
01:21:28,002 --> 01:21:30,403
But I know what
you're talking about.
1755
01:21:30,403 --> 01:21:32,803
I was--I was as guilty
of all that business
1756
01:21:32,803 --> 01:21:35,192
as anybody.
1757
01:21:35,684 --> 01:21:39,393
And I know how we all feel
about people like that.
1758
01:21:41,923 --> 01:21:45,569
People like what?
1759
01:21:47,203 --> 01:21:49,059
Well...
1760
01:21:51,045 --> 01:21:52,485
Hello.
1761
01:21:52,485 --> 01:21:55,168
Hi.
1762
01:22:01,605 --> 01:22:04,485
Dad, I want you
to meet Peta.
1763
01:22:04,485 --> 01:22:07,366
It's nice
to meet you.
1764
01:22:07,366 --> 01:22:11,590
Yeah.
1765
01:22:14,087 --> 01:22:15,528
Ralph, we got to talk.
1766
01:22:15,528 --> 01:22:16,488
What?
Hi, Carla.
1767
01:22:16,488 --> 01:22:18,409
(Ralph)
Wait; I'll be back.
1768
01:22:18,409 --> 01:22:19,848
So where's the boyfriend?
1769
01:22:19,848 --> 01:22:21,288
This better be important.
1770
01:22:21,288 --> 01:22:23,208
Oh, it is.
It's important.
1771
01:22:23,208 --> 01:22:25,128
Faith knows.
1772
01:22:25,128 --> 01:22:26,568
The whole bloody town knows.
1773
01:22:26,568 --> 01:22:27,528
No, no, no,
she knows everything.
1774
01:22:27,528 --> 01:22:29,449
I don't know how she does,
but she does.
1775
01:22:29,449 --> 01:22:30,408
I've got to talk to Carla.
1776
01:22:30,408 --> 01:22:32,809
No, mate,
we can get through this.
1777
01:22:32,809 --> 01:22:35,210
Vince, we're fucked.
1778
01:22:35,210 --> 01:22:37,129
Now, look, I'll keep Faith
away from Russell.
1779
01:22:37,129 --> 01:22:39,531
You come up with an excuse
for the dancing.
1780
01:22:39,531 --> 01:22:42,411
The ball will be finished,
and then we're done.
1781
01:22:42,411 --> 01:22:47,561
[motorcycle engines roaring]
1782
01:22:53,451 --> 01:22:54,880
We're fucked.
1783
01:23:05,453 --> 01:23:09,773
Well, that's the tightest box
I've been jammed into for years.
1784
01:23:09,773 --> 01:23:10,733
Gentlemen,
1785
01:23:10,733 --> 01:23:13,133
let's go find ourselves
some farm boys.
1786
01:23:13,133 --> 01:23:15,054
You two gorgeous men
couldn't tell me
1787
01:23:15,054 --> 01:23:17,935
where I could find
Ralph and Vince, could you?
1788
01:23:17,935 --> 01:23:21,350
(man)
I think they're in there.
1789
01:23:36,656 --> 01:23:37,998
Dad?
1790
01:23:44,337 --> 01:23:48,177
Just give me
five minutes, okay?
1791
01:23:48,177 --> 01:23:50,250
Five minutes.
1792
01:24:15,540 --> 01:24:16,980
There's Vince!
1793
01:24:16,980 --> 01:24:20,177
Vincent,
pretty little man.
1794
01:24:20,821 --> 01:24:22,828
Look who's here.
1795
01:24:25,142 --> 01:24:27,542
(Ralph)
Excuse me.
1796
01:24:27,542 --> 01:24:29,942
Excuse me, everyone.
1797
01:24:29,942 --> 01:24:33,782
Can I have your attention
for a minute?
1798
01:24:33,782 --> 01:24:35,702
Uh...
1799
01:24:35,702 --> 01:24:40,503
now, I know some of you
are wondering what's going on.
1800
01:24:40,503 --> 01:24:40,982
And others have
1801
01:24:40,982 --> 01:24:44,344
probably made up their minds
already.
1802
01:24:44,344 --> 01:24:46,264
But for starters,
1803
01:24:46,264 --> 01:24:50,104
I'd like you to welcome
1804
01:24:50,104 --> 01:24:53,553
some friends of Vince and mine
from Sydney.
1805
01:24:56,344 --> 01:24:56,824
G'day.
1806
01:24:56,824 --> 01:24:59,225
(Ralph)
They're all wonderful people
1807
01:24:59,225 --> 01:25:01,625
who I know
you're going to love
1808
01:25:01,625 --> 01:25:04,506
when you get to know 'em.
1809
01:25:04,506 --> 01:25:06,426
Okay.
1810
01:25:06,426 --> 01:25:14,107
Now, I understand there's been
a bit of speculation around town
1811
01:25:14,107 --> 01:25:16,027
about Vince Hopgood and myself.
1812
01:25:16,027 --> 01:25:19,867
Well, it's nobody's business
but ours,
1813
01:25:19,867 --> 01:25:22,747
what goes on
between Vince and I.
1814
01:25:22,747 --> 01:25:27,068
We've been mates
since we were kids.
1815
01:25:27,068 --> 01:25:29,948
Most of you have known us
all your lives.
1816
01:25:29,948 --> 01:25:38,109
Crikey, we've lived and worked
amongst you for years.
1817
01:25:38,109 --> 01:25:39,548
That's what you should be
judging us by,
1818
01:25:39,548 --> 01:25:48,671
not about what may or may not
happen between us in private.
1819
01:25:48,671 --> 01:25:51,551
Vince has been part
1820
01:25:51,551 --> 01:25:54,911
of every important event
in my life.
1821
01:25:54,911 --> 01:25:58,751
He was my best man.
1822
01:25:58,751 --> 01:26:03,291
He was there
when my daughter was born...
1823
01:26:08,352 --> 01:26:15,511
and when my wife, Helen,
passed away.
1824
01:26:17,953 --> 01:26:21,215
He was a tower of strength
to me.
1825
01:26:26,115 --> 01:26:30,435
See, it doesn't matter
who you are;
1826
01:26:30,435 --> 01:26:33,315
if you have one real friend
in this life,
1827
01:26:33,315 --> 01:26:38,115
one person you can truly trust,
1828
01:26:38,115 --> 01:26:44,891
then you're very lucky indeed.
1829
01:26:49,636 --> 01:26:54,972
Vince Hopgood has been
the best mate a man could have.
1830
01:26:56,357 --> 01:27:01,639
And, yes, for anyone
out there who's interested,
1831
01:27:01,639 --> 01:27:05,478
I love him.
1832
01:27:05,478 --> 01:27:07,900
I'm not ashamed
to admit it.
1833
01:27:28,361 --> 01:27:31,721
Did you just grab my ass?
1834
01:27:31,721 --> 01:27:33,162
Yeah, well,
1835
01:27:33,162 --> 01:27:35,650
I'm only human.
1836
01:27:40,362 --> 01:27:43,241
I never thought for one moment
they were gay.
1837
01:27:43,241 --> 01:27:45,162
Nah, not a chance.
1838
01:27:45,162 --> 01:27:49,002
Mateship's
a wonderful thing.
1839
01:27:49,002 --> 01:27:49,963
Ladies and gentlemen,
1840
01:27:49,963 --> 01:27:54,763
take your partners
for the ladies' choice.
1841
01:27:54,763 --> 01:27:58,125
[upbeat music]
1842
01:28:05,324 --> 01:28:07,725
Oh, gee.
1843
01:28:07,725 --> 01:28:10,125
My oh gee.
1844
01:28:10,125 --> 01:28:13,006
Well, yeah, oh, gee.
1845
01:28:13,006 --> 01:28:16,366
Why I love that girl.
1846
01:28:16,366 --> 01:28:20,196
Father, could I have
the pleasure of this dance?
1847
01:28:21,647 --> 01:28:24,047
Just kidding.
1848
01:28:24,047 --> 01:28:25,487
[laughs]
1849
01:28:27,406 --> 01:28:31,247
Oh, hold me,
baby, squeeze me.
1850
01:28:31,247 --> 01:28:33,648
Never let me go.
1851
01:28:33,648 --> 01:28:36,048
Oh, I'm not taking chances.
1852
01:28:36,048 --> 01:28:39,409
I don't know what's going on
with you and Vince,
1853
01:28:39,409 --> 01:28:41,613
Dad, but you're amazing.
1854
01:28:43,249 --> 01:28:44,679
Hey.
1855
01:28:48,529 --> 01:28:50,449
I love you, sweetheart.
1856
01:28:50,449 --> 01:28:52,588
I love you, Dad.
1857
01:28:56,691 --> 01:28:57,171
Oh.
1858
01:28:57,171 --> 01:29:00,051
Do you mind
if I dance with this girl?
1859
01:29:00,051 --> 01:29:02,932
Be my guest.
1860
01:29:02,932 --> 01:29:05,549
But save a dance for me.
1861
01:29:06,772 --> 01:29:09,739
Both of you.
1862
01:29:13,012 --> 01:29:16,372
So where's the boyfriend?
1863
01:29:16,372 --> 01:29:18,740
Mm-hmm.
1864
01:29:22,614 --> 01:29:24,948
Ah.
1865
01:29:29,814 --> 01:29:31,733
Oh.
1866
01:29:31,733 --> 01:29:33,174
Ah! Ha ha!
1867
01:29:33,174 --> 01:29:34,614
Gentlemen.
1868
01:29:34,614 --> 01:29:38,455
Oh, Russell.
1869
01:29:38,455 --> 01:29:38,935
Russell.
1870
01:29:38,935 --> 01:29:42,776
Now, I'm going to be
brutally honest with you guys.
1871
01:29:42,776 --> 01:29:44,696
After our meeting today,
1872
01:29:44,696 --> 01:29:46,136
I have to say
I was convinced
1873
01:29:46,136 --> 01:29:50,457
that you two were nothing more
than a pair of criminal jokers.
1874
01:29:50,457 --> 01:29:52,376
Really?
1875
01:29:52,376 --> 01:29:55,736
Who deserve the full weight
of the law thrown at them.
1876
01:29:55,736 --> 01:29:58,137
But tonight, I witnessed
something quite special:
1877
01:29:58,137 --> 01:30:00,057
what appeared to be an honesty
and a tolerance
1878
01:30:00,057 --> 01:30:03,417
that, sadly, is very rarely
displayed these days.
1879
01:30:03,417 --> 01:30:07,739
And then Faith came
and talked with me.
1880
01:30:07,739 --> 01:30:12,540
And, well, after what she said,
1881
01:30:12,540 --> 01:30:15,898
I don't believe
I'm likely to encounter
1882
01:30:15,898 --> 01:30:16,379
a tighter bond
1883
01:30:16,379 --> 01:30:18,300
or a stronger love
between two men
1884
01:30:18,300 --> 01:30:20,219
for many a day to come.
1885
01:30:20,219 --> 01:30:21,659
So listen.
1886
01:30:21,659 --> 01:30:24,539
Just stop
the silly charades, eh?
1887
01:30:24,539 --> 01:30:25,980
Care for each other.
1888
01:30:25,980 --> 01:30:27,901
If more people
in the world did that,
1889
01:30:27,901 --> 01:30:31,260
well, the world would be
a far sweeter place,
1890
01:30:31,260 --> 01:30:34,141
don't you think?
1891
01:30:34,141 --> 01:30:35,580
Thank you, Russell.
1892
01:30:35,580 --> 01:30:37,501
And, Mr. Hopwood,
1893
01:30:37,501 --> 01:30:41,877
in future, get yourself
a bloody good accountant.
1894
01:30:43,262 --> 01:30:44,862
And good luck
1895
01:30:44,862 --> 01:30:45,821
to the both of yous.
1896
01:30:45,821 --> 01:30:48,059
Thanks, mate.
1897
01:30:54,944 --> 01:30:55,904
Hello, boys.
1898
01:30:55,904 --> 01:30:57,824
Having a fun evening?
1899
01:30:57,824 --> 01:31:00,705
(Vince)
Faith?
1900
01:31:00,705 --> 01:31:02,144
Why?
1901
01:31:02,144 --> 01:31:07,099
Well, no one likes
the tax department.
1902
01:31:09,824 --> 01:31:11,745
Oh!
1903
01:31:11,745 --> 01:31:12,704
Mr. Williams,
1904
01:31:12,704 --> 01:31:13,665
one thing.
1905
01:31:13,665 --> 01:31:17,506
My car needs a couple of things
doing to it.
1906
01:31:17,506 --> 01:31:18,465
Would that be possible?
1907
01:31:18,465 --> 01:31:21,346
Oh, of course, Faith.
1908
01:31:21,346 --> 01:31:22,787
Just drop it in.
1909
01:31:22,787 --> 01:31:25,666
Be my pleasure.
1910
01:31:25,666 --> 01:31:27,587
And, Mr. Hopgood.
1911
01:31:27,587 --> 01:31:30,467
I've heard a whisper
1912
01:31:30,467 --> 01:31:31,427
that some of the city cinemas
1913
01:31:31,427 --> 01:31:34,787
have got a thing
called a gold pass.
1914
01:31:34,787 --> 01:31:38,148
Do you have
those sort of things?
1915
01:31:38,148 --> 01:31:39,109
I'll make you one, Faith.
1916
01:31:39,109 --> 01:31:43,429
Oh, Mr. Hopgood,
you spoil me.
1917
01:31:43,429 --> 01:31:47,749
She is a piece of work.
1918
01:31:47,749 --> 01:31:51,108
Women, mate--they're
a different breed of cattle.
1919
01:31:51,108 --> 01:31:53,510
In a totally different
paddock.
1920
01:31:53,510 --> 01:31:55,430
Yeah, well,
we got through this.
1921
01:31:55,430 --> 01:31:58,310
We'll get through that.
1922
01:31:58,310 --> 01:32:00,231
Fabulous!
1923
01:32:00,231 --> 01:32:03,591
I'm not taking chances,
because I love her.
1924
01:32:03,591 --> 01:32:04,551
Hey, Ralph.
1925
01:32:04,551 --> 01:32:06,472
Half the people in town
1926
01:32:06,472 --> 01:32:08,992
still think I'm gay, right?
1927
01:32:09,351 --> 01:32:12,711
What do you reckon--
Vinnie's Massage Parlor?
1928
01:32:12,711 --> 01:32:15,592
Strictly for women only.
1929
01:32:15,592 --> 01:32:18,952
Eric will be furious.
1930
01:32:18,952 --> 01:32:21,353
Hey, Vince.
1931
01:32:21,353 --> 01:32:21,833
Huh?
1932
01:32:21,833 --> 01:32:24,713
You know, you do have
a nice ass.
1933
01:32:24,713 --> 01:32:27,114
What, this old thing?
1934
01:32:27,114 --> 01:32:37,194
Why I love that girl.
1935
01:32:37,194 --> 01:32:40,096
Love that girl.
127812
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