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1
00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:04,838
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo
2
00:00:04,905 --> 00:00:08,909
♪ Boo, boo,
boo, boo ♪
3
00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:12,946
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo
4
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,950
♪ Boo, boo,
boo, boo ♪
5
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:21,188
♪ Boo, boo, boo, boo
6
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:23,524
♪ Boo, boo,
boo, boo ♪
7
00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:24,525
[laughs]
8
00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:25,692
Ooh! [growls]
9
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,824
Mommy!
Aaaaaaah!
10
00:00:27,891 --> 00:00:29,459
Duncan!
Duncan!
11
00:00:33,129 --> 00:00:36,032
Come on. One more.
You can do it.
12
00:00:36,099 --> 00:00:37,000
[alarm beeps]
[gasps]
13
00:00:37,066 --> 00:00:38,234
Jack, it's Rocktober!
14
00:00:38,301 --> 00:00:39,636
Meet me in the living room!
15
00:00:39,702 --> 00:00:41,171
Ready!
16
00:00:41,237 --> 00:00:44,707
[mimicking guitar music]
17
00:00:44,774 --> 00:00:45,842
Kimberly,
18
00:00:45,909 --> 00:00:47,944
it's the day
you get your braces off.
19
00:00:48,011 --> 00:00:49,012
Meet me in the living room.
20
00:00:49,078 --> 00:00:50,380
[gasps]
Ready!
21
00:00:51,047 --> 00:00:53,817
Jing, it's Christmas.
22
00:00:53,883 --> 00:00:54,918
'Bout time.
23
00:00:55,752 --> 00:00:57,387
Duncan,
Thor is in the living room,
24
00:00:57,453 --> 00:00:59,022
and he wants
to arm wrestle you.
25
00:00:59,088 --> 00:00:59,756
Finally. Duncan, assemble.
26
00:00:59,823 --> 00:01:02,926
Santa!
Thor, show yourself!
27
00:01:02,992 --> 00:01:04,194
To Dr. Weinstein's!
28
00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:07,497
[wailing] Rock and roll!
29
00:01:07,564 --> 00:01:09,799
[laughs]
Okay, I lied to you.
30
00:01:09,866 --> 00:01:10,834
[all groan]
31
00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:13,469
But this is even better
than all those things.
32
00:01:13,536 --> 00:01:16,005
Oakdale Public Access
presents the nominees
33
00:01:16,072 --> 00:01:17,740
for Civil Servant of the Year,
34
00:01:17,807 --> 00:01:20,910
hosted by the great
and powerful Mayor Jen.
35
00:01:20,977 --> 00:01:22,212
Thank you. Thank you.
36
00:01:22,278 --> 00:01:25,081
It's Oakie nomination day.
37
00:01:25,148 --> 00:01:26,683
I'm telling Santa on you!
38
00:01:26,749 --> 00:01:29,252
Sorry, but I wanted to share
the moment with my family
39
00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:30,720
in case I was nominated.
40
00:01:30,787 --> 00:01:32,188
Honey, we do this every year,
41
00:01:32,255 --> 00:01:33,890
and you're always disappointed.
42
00:01:33,957 --> 00:01:35,225
And the nominees are
43
00:01:35,291 --> 00:01:37,360
Jerry, the dancing
crossing guard...
44
00:01:37,427 --> 00:01:39,062
[electronic music]
45
00:01:39,128 --> 00:01:42,098
Small‐talk Stacy
from the DMV...
46
00:01:42,165 --> 00:01:43,266
Hot enough for ya?
47
00:01:43,333 --> 00:01:44,734
[applause]
48
00:01:44,801 --> 00:01:48,304
Andre, the artistic
crime scene photographer...
49
00:01:48,371 --> 00:01:50,773
Yes, yes, yes. Yes!
50
00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,509
Leslie,
the annoyingly upbeat woman
51
00:01:53,576 --> 00:01:55,378
from the Parks Department...
52
00:01:55,445 --> 00:01:56,980
We're gonna fill that pit.
53
00:01:57,046 --> 00:01:58,248
Boo.
54
00:01:58,314 --> 00:01:59,916
And Annie Harris,
55
00:01:59,983 --> 00:02:02,185
that crazed parking lady?
[gasps]
56
00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:03,720
[all cheer]
An Oakie.
57
00:02:03,786 --> 00:02:04,687
[panting]
58
00:02:04,754 --> 00:02:07,123
[grunting]
59
00:02:07,190 --> 00:02:08,658
[gun cocking]
60
00:02:08,725 --> 00:02:09,959
[gunfire]
61
00:02:10,026 --> 00:02:11,027
[grunts]
62
00:02:11,094 --> 00:02:13,796
[dramatic music]
63
00:02:13,863 --> 00:02:14,797
That was so cool, Mom.
64
00:02:14,864 --> 00:02:16,900
I just thought you parked cars
for a living.
65
00:02:16,966 --> 00:02:19,002
Mommy got shot at.
66
00:02:19,068 --> 00:02:20,169
I'd smile for you...
67
00:02:20,236 --> 00:02:22,171
but I still have braces.
68
00:02:22,238 --> 00:02:24,440
[birds chirping,
sprinklers swishing]
69
00:02:24,507 --> 00:02:27,210
Why do we have to campaign?
It's your award.
70
00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:29,212
Our my award.
71
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:31,281
Being the family
of an Oakie winner,
72
00:02:31,347 --> 00:02:33,116
there's perks for all of you:
73
00:02:33,182 --> 00:02:35,718
free movies,
every Tuesday matinee.
74
00:02:35,785 --> 00:02:38,354
Just the cure for my horrible
Tuesday depression.
75
00:02:38,421 --> 00:02:39,656
I told you he's not okay.
76
00:02:39,722 --> 00:02:41,991
We can cut the line
for the playground swings.
77
00:02:42,058 --> 00:02:43,326
That's a game changer.
78
00:02:43,393 --> 00:02:45,261
When we go shopping,
we can finally
79
00:02:45,328 --> 00:02:47,563
get dressing rooms
with no curtain gaps.
80
00:02:47,630 --> 00:02:49,165
Yes, no more
trying on clothes
81
00:02:49,232 --> 00:02:50,400
on top of clothes.
82
00:02:50,466 --> 00:02:52,101
They might even name
the waiting room
83
00:02:52,168 --> 00:02:54,037
of a tire store after us.
84
00:02:54,103 --> 00:02:56,105
We'll be celebrities.
85
00:02:56,172 --> 00:02:59,075
[cameras shutters snapping]
[reporters clamoring]
86
00:02:59,142 --> 00:03:01,177
[lively music]
87
00:03:01,244 --> 00:03:02,545
[crowd cheering]
88
00:03:02,612 --> 00:03:03,479
Hey.
89
00:03:03,546 --> 00:03:06,082
Thanks for coming.
I love being famous.
90
00:03:06,149 --> 00:03:07,517
Over here, Duncan!
91
00:03:07,583 --> 00:03:10,253
Respect my privacy,
paparazzi scum.
92
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,287
Hey!
[all grunting]
93
00:03:11,354 --> 00:03:14,123
Spin. Power slam.
Ow!
94
00:03:14,190 --> 00:03:16,159
I popped those razzis good.
95
00:03:16,225 --> 00:03:17,327
How can we help?
96
00:03:17,393 --> 00:03:18,895
Get out there
and give this town
97
00:03:18,962 --> 00:03:20,563
a case of Annie fever.
98
00:03:20,630 --> 00:03:22,365
Tell your friends, neighbors,
coworkers,
99
00:03:22,432 --> 00:03:24,300
lodge presidents,
sous‐chefs, senseis.
100
00:03:24,367 --> 00:03:26,102
Cover the entire Dojo District.
101
00:03:26,169 --> 00:03:27,103
Go, go, go, go!
102
00:03:27,170 --> 00:03:28,271
[all panting]
103
00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:30,073
My grandma's always trying
104
00:03:30,139 --> 00:03:31,808
to get me
to be politically active.
105
00:03:31,874 --> 00:03:34,177
She thinks Bernie Sanders
is a fox.
106
00:03:34,243 --> 00:03:35,545
[groans]
107
00:03:38,982 --> 00:03:41,184
Hey, vote for his mom, dude!
108
00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,318
[tires screeching]
109
00:03:42,385 --> 00:03:43,987
[car crashes, explosion booms]
110
00:03:44,053 --> 00:03:45,388
both:
Um...
111
00:03:46,322 --> 00:03:47,623
[both panting]
112
00:03:48,624 --> 00:03:51,127
And remember to look sad.
Can you do that?
113
00:03:51,194 --> 00:03:52,161
You got it.
114
00:03:52,228 --> 00:03:53,830
Dead Elmo. Dead Elmo.
115
00:03:53,896 --> 00:03:55,598
[sniffles]
Okay.
116
00:03:55,665 --> 00:03:56,699
Ready.
117
00:03:57,467 --> 00:03:58,101
Help! Help!
I'm a lost child!
118
00:03:58,167 --> 00:04:02,171
I'll help you, little girl.
119
00:04:02,238 --> 00:04:04,040
Vote for my mom,
Annie Harris.
120
00:04:04,741 --> 00:04:07,643
Ugh, are you writing
a screenplay in Word?
121
00:04:07,710 --> 00:04:10,413
What? It's a free program.
[Kimberly groans]
122
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,548
Thank you for coming in,
Mr. Harris.
123
00:04:12,615 --> 00:04:15,218
I'm worried that Duncan's
falling behind in his work.
124
00:04:15,284 --> 00:04:16,319
Of course,
but you know who never
125
00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:17,887
falls behind in her work?
126
00:04:17,954 --> 00:04:19,956
My wife, Annie Harris.
127
00:04:20,023 --> 00:04:21,557
Uh, okay, but seriously,
128
00:04:21,624 --> 00:04:23,493
Duncan's struggling
with basic vocab.
129
00:04:23,559 --> 00:04:26,295
You mean words like
"dignity," "trust," "parking"?
130
00:04:26,362 --> 00:04:30,366
All words that describe
my wife, Annie Harris.
131
00:04:31,167 --> 00:04:33,469
Vote for my wife, Annie Harris.
132
00:04:33,536 --> 00:04:36,439
Mr. Mitch, I licked
the cafeteria floor on a bet,
133
00:04:36,506 --> 00:04:38,241
and now I don't feel so good.
134
00:04:38,307 --> 00:04:39,575
You wanna take this?
135
00:04:39,642 --> 00:04:42,178
Sorry, when he's at school,
he's your problem.
136
00:04:42,245 --> 00:04:44,914
[sighs]
Where's my damn award at?
137
00:04:44,981 --> 00:04:46,883
So how much did you win?
138
00:04:46,949 --> 00:04:48,684
No money, just pride.
139
00:04:48,751 --> 00:04:49,786
[retches]
140
00:04:49,852 --> 00:04:50,820
Damn.
141
00:04:52,588 --> 00:04:55,091
[slurring]
So my husband told me
142
00:04:55,158 --> 00:04:58,795
he's gonna be a rock star,
and now he's a plumber.
143
00:04:58,861 --> 00:04:59,862
But that's okay.
144
00:04:59,929 --> 00:05:02,565
I love him. I love him.
I love him.
145
00:05:02,632 --> 00:05:03,599
Annie!
146
00:05:03,666 --> 00:05:04,600
Hey.
147
00:05:04,667 --> 00:05:06,269
There's old flushy hands now.
148
00:05:06,335 --> 00:05:08,037
What are you doing?
149
00:05:08,104 --> 00:05:11,040
I'm showing beers they can
have a people with me.
150
00:05:11,107 --> 00:05:13,076
Each one of these losers
is a vote.
151
00:05:13,142 --> 00:05:14,410
I'm kidding.
152
00:05:14,477 --> 00:05:16,412
I love ya. I love ya.
I love ya.
153
00:05:16,479 --> 00:05:20,616
Okay, that's enough
campaigning for you.
154
00:05:20,683 --> 00:05:24,287
Hey, take me to Taco Bell
and I'll give ya a kiss.
155
00:05:24,353 --> 00:05:26,689
Well, I do want a kiss.
156
00:05:31,227 --> 00:05:33,729
Hey, vote for Annie.
157
00:05:34,797 --> 00:05:36,532
[tires squealing]
158
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,502
[car crashes, explosion booms]
159
00:05:39,902 --> 00:05:42,171
[gasps]
My parkie sense is tingling.
160
00:05:42,238 --> 00:05:43,573
Hmm.
[gasps]
161
00:05:43,639 --> 00:05:46,075
No plates,
next to a fire hydrant,
162
00:05:46,142 --> 00:05:48,111
nonregulation truck nuts?
163
00:05:48,177 --> 00:05:51,114
This goes way beyond
your standard parking ticket.
164
00:05:52,315 --> 00:05:54,183
It's one thing to do it
on a cadaver car,
165
00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:57,653
but the real thing
is so satisfying.
166
00:05:59,088 --> 00:06:01,524
♪ILikeToBootItBootIt.
167
00:06:02,525 --> 00:06:04,927
Wow, your hashtag game
is really improving, Mom.
168
00:06:04,994 --> 00:06:06,829
You don't write
"tic‐tac‐toe board" anymore.
169
00:06:06,896 --> 00:06:07,797
Thank you.
170
00:06:07,864 --> 00:06:09,599
I've been following
Mrs. John Legend.
171
00:06:09,665 --> 00:06:10,733
Chrissy Teigen.
Who?
172
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:13,669
Booting a parking scofflaw
is bound to get you votes
173
00:06:13,736 --> 00:06:15,638
and hopefully make up
for that offensive joke
174
00:06:15,705 --> 00:06:16,939
you told at the bar last night.
175
00:06:17,006 --> 00:06:19,842
What? That's how my mother
told it to me.
176
00:06:19,909 --> 00:06:22,912
I wanna win like you, Mommy.
Vote Jing!
177
00:06:22,979 --> 00:06:23,846
For what, honey?
178
00:06:23,913 --> 00:06:26,282
Don't pressure me.
I just announced.
179
00:06:26,349 --> 00:06:28,251
I'm so sure I'm gonna
be a celebrity,
180
00:06:28,317 --> 00:06:29,619
I'm writing a book
about my life.
181
00:06:29,685 --> 00:06:32,688
Mom, you're a psycho who
fed me rat poison every day,
182
00:06:32,755 --> 00:06:34,590
and, Dad,
you're a junkie hit man.
183
00:06:34,657 --> 00:06:35,491
No!
184
00:06:35,558 --> 00:06:37,426
It does make us
more interesting, honey.
185
00:06:37,493 --> 00:06:39,896
Fine, I don't want his book
to bomb.
186
00:06:43,399 --> 00:06:45,301
Get in.
all: Okay.
187
00:06:45,368 --> 00:06:48,004
Kids, don't get
into strangers' cars.
188
00:06:48,070 --> 00:06:50,106
Not them.
The parking lady.
189
00:06:50,173 --> 00:06:51,407
Okay.
190
00:06:51,474 --> 00:06:52,608
[car door slams]
191
00:06:55,311 --> 00:06:57,580
Mayor Jen. Your Grace.
192
00:06:57,647 --> 00:07:00,316
So you're doing great
in the Oakie voting.
193
00:07:00,383 --> 00:07:02,051
It's nice to see a woman
194
00:07:02,118 --> 00:07:03,886
getting the respect
she deserves.
195
00:07:03,953 --> 00:07:05,288
Oh. Thank you.
196
00:07:05,354 --> 00:07:06,822
Where's my respect,
197
00:07:06,889 --> 00:07:08,157
you piece of trash!
198
00:07:08,224 --> 00:07:10,893
Excuse me?
That was my car you booted.
199
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:14,163
Now I have to ride around
in this pathetic limo.
200
00:07:14,230 --> 00:07:15,998
But your car
didn't have any plates,
201
00:07:16,065 --> 00:07:17,166
and the truck nuts‐‐
202
00:07:17,233 --> 00:07:19,135
Are hilarious. I know.
203
00:07:19,202 --> 00:07:21,137
Remove the boot,
or I'll make sure
204
00:07:21,204 --> 00:07:22,939
you never win that Oakie.
205
00:07:23,005 --> 00:07:24,106
You can't do that.
206
00:07:24,173 --> 00:07:25,441
I'm the mayor
of a very small town.
207
00:07:25,508 --> 00:07:26,842
I can do anything.
208
00:07:26,909 --> 00:07:28,010
But you can't get rid
of the boot,
209
00:07:28,077 --> 00:07:29,412
because I have the key.
210
00:07:29,478 --> 00:07:31,981
Damn it.
I knew I should've made a copy.
211
00:07:32,048 --> 00:07:34,584
I'm sorry, but I took an oath
to uphold the law.
212
00:07:34,650 --> 00:07:37,420
I put my hand
on a "West Wing" box set.
213
00:07:37,486 --> 00:07:39,255
I respect your integrity,
Annie,
214
00:07:39,322 --> 00:07:40,790
but you don't want me
as an enemy.
215
00:07:40,856 --> 00:07:43,025
I don't want anybody
as my enemy.
216
00:07:43,092 --> 00:07:44,260
Yeah, but especially me.
217
00:07:44,327 --> 00:07:46,629
What makes you
such a great enemy?
218
00:07:46,696 --> 00:07:48,097
[grunting]
219
00:07:49,232 --> 00:07:50,466
This isn't my house.
220
00:07:50,533 --> 00:07:53,302
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Hop back in.
221
00:07:53,369 --> 00:07:55,171
I'll shove you out
wherever you want.
222
00:07:55,238 --> 00:07:56,472
[car door slams]
223
00:07:56,539 --> 00:07:57,673
This is me.
224
00:08:01,010 --> 00:08:02,511
Mommy's home!
225
00:08:05,681 --> 00:08:06,983
[shower running]
226
00:08:07,049 --> 00:08:08,985
♪ Usin' a washrag
227
00:08:09,051 --> 00:08:11,499
♪ Findin' new skin tags
228
00:08:11,566 --> 00:08:13,601
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa
229
00:08:14,235 --> 00:08:17,305
No problem, just give it
a little plumber's magic.
230
00:08:18,439 --> 00:08:19,374
Huh.
231
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:20,541
Help!
232
00:08:20,608 --> 00:08:22,877
I can't take a shower.
233
00:08:22,944 --> 00:08:24,145
I can't wash my face.
234
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,747
I can't brush my teeth.
235
00:08:25,813 --> 00:08:27,582
Good morning.
236
00:08:28,149 --> 00:08:30,919
Hmm, maybe the water's out
on the whole street.
237
00:08:30,985 --> 00:08:34,289
[sprinklers swishing]
238
00:08:34,355 --> 00:08:34,989
[both laugh]
239
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,158
What's your damage, lady?
240
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,893
All men are my damage.
241
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,962
Well, everything's normal
out here.
242
00:08:41,029 --> 00:08:43,998
There's a parking boot
on our water main.
243
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,867
Hey, Mom,
someone left you a Valentime's.
244
00:08:45,934 --> 00:08:48,202
all:
Ooh!
245
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:51,706
"Remove the boot.
Love, your enemy."
246
00:08:51,773 --> 00:08:53,274
Ooh!
247
00:08:53,341 --> 00:08:55,877
What's going on, honey?
[sighs] Okay.
248
00:08:55,944 --> 00:08:57,946
Mayor Jen is blackmailing me,
249
00:08:58,012 --> 00:08:59,414
and I'm not winning the Oakie,
250
00:08:59,480 --> 00:08:59,714
and we're never
gonna be famous.
251
00:08:59,781 --> 00:09:01,816
Sorry.
252
00:09:01,883 --> 00:09:02,884
I'm gonna have to wait
253
00:09:02,951 --> 00:09:03,952
for the kiddie swings?
254
00:09:04,018 --> 00:09:05,687
I don't have that kind of time.
255
00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:07,121
Mm?
[giggles]
256
00:09:07,188 --> 00:09:10,024
Now I'll never get to thrash
a photog. [grunts]
257
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:12,427
We need to support
your mom's principles, kids,
258
00:09:12,493 --> 00:09:14,128
and show Mayor Jen
she'll have to do
259
00:09:14,195 --> 00:09:17,465
a lot more than shut off
our water to break this family.
260
00:09:17,532 --> 00:09:18,900
Ooh, my special delivery.
261
00:09:18,967 --> 00:09:20,268
Waiting for this?
262
00:09:20,335 --> 00:09:22,637
My replacement kimono tie!
263
00:09:22,704 --> 00:09:24,572
Remove the boot, Harris!
264
00:09:24,639 --> 00:09:26,007
Never.
265
00:09:26,741 --> 00:09:29,744
[panting]
266
00:09:29,811 --> 00:09:32,313
Uh‐oh.
[all scream]
267
00:09:33,047 --> 00:09:35,116
This is gonna be
the biggest political scandal
268
00:09:35,183 --> 00:09:36,918
since the police chief
faked his death
269
00:09:36,985 --> 00:09:38,119
to get out of jury duty.
270
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:40,288
I still wonder
who was in that casket.
271
00:09:40,355 --> 00:09:41,889
I think he murdered his twin.
272
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:44,092
Of course!
We gotta exhume the body!
273
00:09:44,158 --> 00:09:46,728
No, Jack, we're here to talk
about my Oakie Award.
274
00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:48,496
[typewriter clacking]
275
00:09:48,563 --> 00:09:49,697
This story has it all:
276
00:09:49,764 --> 00:09:51,766
emotion, corruption, kimonos.
277
00:09:51,833 --> 00:09:53,134
Stop the presses!
278
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:54,035
Hmm?
[gasps]
279
00:09:54,102 --> 00:09:56,037
Those presses are so loud.
280
00:09:56,104 --> 00:09:57,872
Anyway, we can't
run this story.
281
00:09:57,939 --> 00:09:59,774
Mayor Jen owns our ass.
282
00:09:59,841 --> 00:10:01,075
But you sat with us
for hours.
283
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:03,778
We ate all that Chinese food
together.
284
00:10:03,845 --> 00:10:05,413
If it means anything,
my enjoyment
285
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,182
of the moo goo gai pan
was real.
286
00:10:08,249 --> 00:10:10,518
Come on, Jack.
We're going to Channel 10.
287
00:10:10,585 --> 00:10:12,720
You mean Channel Jen.
288
00:10:12,787 --> 00:10:15,390
-Then we'll go to 108
-K‐Jen.
289
00:10:15,456 --> 00:10:16,391
both:
Damn it!
290
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:20,762
[hydraulics hiss]
291
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:30,104
Remove the boot, Harris!
[hydraulics hiss]
292
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:32,240
Mayor Jen
is ruining our lives.
293
00:10:32,306 --> 00:10:34,609
The kids at school
are calling me Trasherly.
294
00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:36,677
It's not even good,
but it's catching on.
295
00:10:36,744 --> 00:10:41,115
No water, electric, gas,
my precious landline.
296
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:42,250
Hello. Hello.
297
00:10:42,316 --> 00:10:44,252
I heard it ring.
Didn't you hear it ring?
298
00:10:44,318 --> 00:10:46,854
My teacher won't call on me
anymore at school.
299
00:10:46,921 --> 00:10:51,025
Cooper just guessed triangle,
and now he's a rock star.
300
00:10:51,092 --> 00:10:53,361
And my teacher won't stop
calling on me.
301
00:10:53,428 --> 00:10:55,363
I accidentally learned
about ancient Greece,
302
00:10:55,430 --> 00:10:58,733
and like the siege of Troy,
our collapse is inevitable.
303
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,301
Nerd!
I know!
304
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:01,769
How long are we gonna
keep fighting
305
00:11:01,836 --> 00:11:02,937
for your principles?
306
00:11:03,004 --> 00:11:04,672
I'm running out
of clean underpants.
307
00:11:04,739 --> 00:11:06,474
Just turn them inside out.
308
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:07,575
Way ahead of you, Mom.
309
00:11:07,642 --> 00:11:09,977
I know things are tough,
but if we stick together,
310
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,946
truth and justice have to win.
311
00:11:12,013 --> 00:11:13,815
Oh, hey, I'm Randy
from Animal Control.
312
00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:14,949
Oh, thank God.
313
00:11:15,016 --> 00:11:16,884
The trash is really
attracting rats.
314
00:11:16,951 --> 00:11:18,719
Actually, Mayor Jen
sent me over to say...
315
00:11:18,786 --> 00:11:19,787
gopher bomb!
316
00:11:19,854 --> 00:11:21,689
[all scream]
317
00:11:21,756 --> 00:11:23,091
Everyone calm down.
318
00:11:23,157 --> 00:11:26,127
If we don't bother them,
they won't bother us.
319
00:11:26,194 --> 00:11:28,563
[gopher hissing]
[screams] Their little hands!
320
00:11:28,629 --> 00:11:30,965
[all screaming]
321
00:11:31,032 --> 00:11:32,166
all:
♪ Buffalo gals
322
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,835
♪ Won't you come out tonight
323
00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:36,938
♪ And dance by the light
of the moon ♪
324
00:11:37,004 --> 00:11:38,739
You're right, Bex.
That was fun.
325
00:11:38,806 --> 00:11:43,077
I'm telling you, my grandma
knows some trippy songs.
326
00:11:43,144 --> 00:11:45,713
Y'all remember when we used
to drink beer?
327
00:11:45,780 --> 00:11:47,281
Hey, Duncan's friends.
328
00:11:47,348 --> 00:11:49,584
Don't mind us.
We just live here now.
329
00:11:49,650 --> 00:11:51,652
Gophers took our house.
330
00:11:51,719 --> 00:11:53,087
Cool digs, daddy‐o.
331
00:11:53,154 --> 00:11:54,188
[Duncan grunting]
What a great place to get away
332
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,023
from whatever might be
annoying you.
333
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:58,526
Hey, Mia.
Duncan still crushing on ya?
334
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:01,129
I don't think so.
Oh, yes, he is.
335
00:12:01,195 --> 00:12:02,697
Aren't you, Dunker?
Shut up!
336
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:04,732
Mr. and Mrs. Harris, welcome.
337
00:12:04,799 --> 00:12:06,934
Mi crib es su crib.
[laughs]
338
00:12:07,001 --> 00:12:08,402
Now, you know the rule
about parents, man.
339
00:12:08,469 --> 00:12:11,139
Even if one of us dies in here,
they cannot come in.
340
00:12:11,205 --> 00:12:13,107
Oh, don't think of us
as parents.
341
00:12:13,174 --> 00:12:15,443
Think of us
as AirBuh‐nuh‐buh guests.
342
00:12:15,510 --> 00:12:17,812
AirBnB.
You're so embarrassing.
343
00:12:17,879 --> 00:12:19,247
I am not.
344
00:12:19,313 --> 00:12:21,048
She's just cranky
'cause she's been wearing
345
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,750
the same underwear
for five days.
346
00:12:22,817 --> 00:12:24,218
all:
Ew!
347
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,954
Five days?
You broke my record.
348
00:12:27,021 --> 00:12:28,756
Tomorrow will be six.
349
00:12:28,823 --> 00:12:30,525
Well, that's gross.
Mm.
350
00:12:31,659 --> 00:12:33,661
[insects chirping]
351
00:12:33,728 --> 00:12:36,164
Okay, everybody, sleep tight,
352
00:12:36,230 --> 00:12:39,934
and seriously,
do not let the bedbugs bite.
353
00:12:40,001 --> 00:12:41,802
Good night, Duncan.
Night.
354
00:12:41,869 --> 00:12:44,173
Night, Kimberly.
Just don't.
355
00:12:44,239 --> 00:12:47,242
Night, Jing.
Night, Mommy.
356
00:12:51,513 --> 00:12:52,347
Good night, honey.
357
00:12:52,414 --> 00:12:54,716
Good night,
my principled princess.
358
00:12:54,783 --> 00:12:56,251
[smooches]
359
00:12:57,619 --> 00:12:59,788
Are we having sex?
360
00:12:59,855 --> 00:13:01,089
I think so?
361
00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,925
Mommy?
Yes, sweetie?
362
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,993
This really sucks.
363
00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:07,095
I know.
364
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,566
Whoa!
Ah!
365
00:13:10,632 --> 00:13:12,968
Harris family, get out here.
366
00:13:13,035 --> 00:13:15,470
What are you gonna take
from us now, Mayor Jen,
367
00:13:15,537 --> 00:13:17,206
my husband's kimono?
368
00:13:17,272 --> 00:13:18,574
Don't even put it
in her head!
369
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:21,076
I underestimated
how tough this family is,
370
00:13:21,143 --> 00:13:23,111
and, well, it was wrong of me
to try to punish you
371
00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:25,080
into betraying
your core beliefs,
372
00:13:25,147 --> 00:13:27,683
so instead, I'm gonna bribe you
373
00:13:27,749 --> 00:13:29,818
into betraying
your core beliefs.
374
00:13:29,885 --> 00:13:32,154
Remove the boot,
and I'll make sure
375
00:13:32,221 --> 00:13:33,822
you win the Oakie Award.
376
00:13:33,889 --> 00:13:34,923
Ain't happenin'.
377
00:13:34,990 --> 00:13:36,158
And to sweeten the deal,
378
00:13:36,225 --> 00:13:40,229
I'll send you and your family
on an all‐expense‐paid trip
379
00:13:40,295 --> 00:13:44,466
for two days and one night
to Flip Flops Resort.
380
00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:46,001
Flip Flops?
381
00:13:46,068 --> 00:13:47,836
They built
the world's largest waterslide
382
00:13:47,903 --> 00:13:49,304
out of a sacred native temple.
383
00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:51,807
And you can ride dolphins
to dinner.
384
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:53,775
And watch white people
dance to reggae.
385
00:13:53,842 --> 00:13:55,177
That's where Mike Love
got married
386
00:13:55,244 --> 00:13:56,878
for the fifth time.
387
00:13:56,945 --> 00:13:58,647
[growls]
But yeah,
388
00:13:58,714 --> 00:13:59,948
stand your ground, honey.
389
00:14:00,015 --> 00:14:01,450
Mike Love
will get married again.
390
00:14:01,516 --> 00:14:03,685
Yeah, we believe in you
way more
391
00:14:03,752 --> 00:14:05,187
than the family trip
of a lifetime.
392
00:14:05,254 --> 00:14:08,319
We got your back,
waterslide‐‐I mean Mom.
393
00:14:08,385 --> 00:14:11,255
I'll sleep in a pot
as long as it takes, Mommy.
394
00:14:11,322 --> 00:14:13,657
Can I have the last packet
of crackers?
395
00:14:13,724 --> 00:14:16,093
I know I'm supposed to use it
as my pillow,
396
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:17,828
but I'm hungry.
397
00:14:17,895 --> 00:14:18,963
Mm.
398
00:14:19,029 --> 00:14:20,130
[lively music]
399
00:14:20,197 --> 00:14:21,999
This is the greatest
vacation ever!
400
00:14:22,066 --> 00:14:23,634
We owe it all to you, Mom.
401
00:14:23,701 --> 00:14:24,802
We love Mom.
402
00:14:24,868 --> 00:14:26,236
all:
We love Mom!
403
00:14:26,303 --> 00:14:28,038
dolphins:
We love Mom.
404
00:14:28,105 --> 00:14:29,506
To the buffet!
405
00:14:29,573 --> 00:14:31,875
[dolphins squeaking]
406
00:14:31,942 --> 00:14:33,477
I'm sorry, Mayor Jen,
407
00:14:33,544 --> 00:14:35,112
but when my wife
makes up her mind‐‐
408
00:14:35,179 --> 00:14:36,080
I'll do it.
Really?
409
00:14:36,146 --> 00:14:37,381
all: Yay!
Aah!
410
00:14:37,448 --> 00:14:38,916
I knew it.
411
00:14:38,983 --> 00:14:40,551
Everyone can be bought.
412
00:14:40,618 --> 00:14:42,419
See you at the award show,
Annie.
413
00:14:42,486 --> 00:14:45,022
Oh, and, Jack,
here's your kimono tie.
414
00:14:45,089 --> 00:14:47,024
Yes, I'm back!
415
00:14:47,091 --> 00:14:48,525
I know it was hard, honey,
416
00:14:48,592 --> 00:14:51,261
but you did the right thing
for everyone but you.
417
00:14:51,328 --> 00:14:53,163
Yeah, Mom, you stood up
for your beliefs
418
00:14:53,230 --> 00:14:54,331
almost all week.
419
00:14:54,398 --> 00:14:56,567
Yeah, you only
eventually gave in.
420
00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:58,102
So brave.
421
00:14:58,168 --> 00:14:59,503
Mm.
422
00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:06,510
And all of these folks...
423
00:15:06,577 --> 00:15:11,482
are dead!
424
00:15:11,548 --> 00:15:12,316
Bye‐bye.
425
00:15:12,383 --> 00:15:13,450
[applause]
426
00:15:13,517 --> 00:15:16,186
This has been my favorite
dress on her all night.
427
00:15:16,253 --> 00:15:17,655
Yeah, fit and flare
looks good on her.
428
00:15:17,721 --> 00:15:19,990
She should stay away
from the empire waist.
429
00:15:20,057 --> 00:15:23,394
And now the moment
you've waited five hours for,
430
00:15:23,460 --> 00:15:26,063
the Oakie
for Outstanding Achievement
431
00:15:26,130 --> 00:15:27,698
in Civil Servitude...
432
00:15:27,765 --> 00:15:28,999
I don't think
I can go through
433
00:15:29,066 --> 00:15:30,167
with this sham, Jack.
434
00:15:30,234 --> 00:15:31,535
Our bags are packed, Annie.
435
00:15:31,602 --> 00:15:33,237
I'm wearing board shorts.
436
00:15:33,303 --> 00:15:34,538
It's hard to be enthusiastic
437
00:15:34,605 --> 00:15:36,840
about something you didn't win
fair and square.
438
00:15:36,907 --> 00:15:39,877
And the winner
of this year's Oakie is...
439
00:15:39,943 --> 00:15:41,045
Annie Harris.
440
00:15:41,111 --> 00:15:42,646
[applause]
[gasps]
441
00:15:42,713 --> 00:15:43,814
Ah! [laughs]
442
00:15:43,881 --> 00:15:45,015
[smooching]
443
00:15:45,082 --> 00:15:46,517
Kick!
[groans]
444
00:15:46,583 --> 00:15:48,752
Dreams do come true.
445
00:15:48,819 --> 00:15:49,987
[smooching]
446
00:15:50,054 --> 00:15:52,189
[laughter]
447
00:15:52,256 --> 00:15:54,425
[sighs]
I swore I wouldn't cry.
448
00:15:54,491 --> 00:15:55,959
That's what you guys
should be doing.
449
00:15:56,026 --> 00:15:57,327
Aw.
No, I'm kidding.
450
00:15:57,394 --> 00:15:59,463
I love ya. I love ya.
I love ya.
451
00:15:59,530 --> 00:16:01,565
Pleasure doing business
with you.
452
00:16:01,632 --> 00:16:05,335
Whoo! Civil service!
453
00:16:07,504 --> 00:16:10,474
Wow, Jing, you are ready
for vacation.
454
00:16:10,541 --> 00:16:12,543
No, this is
for a water landing.
455
00:16:12,609 --> 00:16:14,978
I can't believe
we're flying economy plus.
456
00:16:15,045 --> 00:16:18,682
You can really feel
the extra quarter‐inch legroom.
457
00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:21,385
[sighs]
458
00:16:21,452 --> 00:16:23,787
Excuse me, sir, can I have
your seat for my award?
459
00:16:23,854 --> 00:16:24,922
I won an award.
460
00:16:24,988 --> 00:16:26,190
I'm the sky marshal.
461
00:16:26,256 --> 00:16:28,892
And I won an award.
462
00:16:28,959 --> 00:16:29,960
I understand.
463
00:16:30,027 --> 00:16:31,995
Keep an eye on 17B.
464
00:16:32,062 --> 00:16:33,664
Uh...good afternoon.
465
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:35,399
We have a very special guest
on board,
466
00:16:35,466 --> 00:16:37,267
Oakie Award winner
Annie Harris.
467
00:16:37,334 --> 00:16:38,869
[scattered applause]
468
00:16:38,936 --> 00:16:40,270
Oh, and also Malala.
469
00:16:40,337 --> 00:16:41,705
[scattered laughter]
470
00:16:41,772 --> 00:16:43,640
[sighs]
Why aren't you in school?
471
00:16:43,707 --> 00:16:46,443
Get off our backs, Malala.
472
00:16:46,510 --> 00:16:49,079
[calypso music]
473
00:16:49,146 --> 00:16:50,214
[all gasp]
474
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:51,815
[guests cheering]
475
00:16:51,882 --> 00:16:53,984
Wow. Flair bartending.
476
00:16:54,051 --> 00:16:58,055
♪
477
00:16:58,122 --> 00:16:59,089
[all gasp]
478
00:16:59,156 --> 00:17:00,357
Flair lifeguarding.
479
00:17:00,424 --> 00:17:02,025
Help! Help!
[screams]
480
00:17:02,092 --> 00:17:04,695
♪
481
00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:05,963
Aw, good for them.
482
00:17:06,029 --> 00:17:06,964
There it is.
483
00:17:07,030 --> 00:17:09,833
♪
484
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:12,136
Macho Picchu.
485
00:17:12,202 --> 00:17:14,738
I don't get it, but let's go.
486
00:17:14,805 --> 00:17:17,941
[indistinct chatter]
487
00:17:18,642 --> 00:17:21,411
[sighs] The line is so long.
[elevator bell dings]
488
00:17:23,180 --> 00:17:24,148
Follow me.
489
00:17:24,214 --> 00:17:25,616
Honey, it says
"Employees Only."
490
00:17:25,682 --> 00:17:28,352
I think they want us
to take the stairs.
491
00:17:28,418 --> 00:17:30,921
The elevator is stairs
for winners.
492
00:17:30,988 --> 00:17:32,656
[elevator bell dings]
493
00:17:33,824 --> 00:17:35,692
I won a Nobel Prize.
494
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:37,828
[elevator bell dings]
495
00:17:37,895 --> 00:17:39,129
[all gasp]
Whoa!
496
00:17:39,196 --> 00:17:41,198
[gasps]
[laughs]
497
00:17:41,265 --> 00:17:43,066
[riders cheering]
498
00:17:43,133 --> 00:17:46,403
♪
499
00:17:46,470 --> 00:17:48,405
Okay, lie down,
keep your arms to your sides,
500
00:17:48,472 --> 00:17:50,507
and feel free to taunt
the sharks; they love it.
501
00:17:50,574 --> 00:17:52,276
You want some of this?
502
00:17:52,342 --> 00:17:54,978
Yeah, you know you do.
You want some.
503
00:17:55,045 --> 00:17:57,181
Ready. Set.
504
00:17:57,247 --> 00:17:58,582
Hold on a sec.
505
00:17:59,950 --> 00:18:01,051
Uh‐oh.
506
00:18:01,118 --> 00:18:02,386
You're not sacrifice height.
507
00:18:02,452 --> 00:18:04,354
You can sit in this kiddie pool
filled with squid.
508
00:18:04,421 --> 00:18:06,089
Oh, come on!
509
00:18:06,156 --> 00:18:07,858
I don't make the rules.
The gods do.
510
00:18:07,925 --> 00:18:12,996
What if I give you my goggles
and this wet Snickers bar?
511
00:18:13,063 --> 00:18:14,364
Then would I be tall enough?
512
00:18:14,431 --> 00:18:16,099
I'm a part‐time
waterslide operator.
513
00:18:16,166 --> 00:18:17,501
I have integrity.
514
00:18:17,568 --> 00:18:19,102
Everyone can be bought,
515
00:18:19,169 --> 00:18:20,270
even Mommy.
516
00:18:20,337 --> 00:18:22,105
[all gasp]
[groans]
517
00:18:22,172 --> 00:18:23,841
That's how we got this trip.
518
00:18:23,907 --> 00:18:24,942
[sighs]
That's it.
519
00:18:25,008 --> 00:18:26,376
Everybody off the slide.
520
00:18:26,443 --> 00:18:28,245
We do not deserve tropical fun.
521
00:18:28,312 --> 00:18:30,147
We're here
under false pretenses.
522
00:18:30,214 --> 00:18:32,149
Don't care.
Slide. Sharks. Sunburn.
523
00:18:32,216 --> 00:18:33,317
And I've already got a crush
on the boy
524
00:18:33,383 --> 00:18:34,818
that checks wristbands.
525
00:18:35,919 --> 00:18:37,254
Interesting point, Annie.
526
00:18:37,321 --> 00:18:39,523
Let's discuss it
on our way down the slide.
527
00:18:39,590 --> 00:18:43,093
Sorry, Jack.
I just can't do it.
528
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,127
Come on, we're going home.
529
00:18:44,194 --> 00:18:45,629
[all groan]
No!
530
00:18:46,697 --> 00:18:48,065
No, we're taking the stairs.
531
00:18:48,131 --> 00:18:50,868
And on the way down,
we are apologizing to Malala.
532
00:18:50,934 --> 00:18:53,203
[all groan]
Excuse us. Vacation's over.
533
00:18:53,270 --> 00:18:55,072
Doing the right thing.
Teaching moment.
534
00:18:55,138 --> 00:18:56,540
Story they'll tell
at my funeral.
535
00:18:57,274 --> 00:18:59,309
And unlike our old cemetery,
536
00:18:59,376 --> 00:19:02,579
this new one
is above the water table.
537
00:19:02,646 --> 00:19:04,314
And now a moment of silence
538
00:19:04,381 --> 00:19:06,884
as we bow our heads
for drinkable water
539
00:19:06,950 --> 00:19:08,685
and bodies that stay buried.
540
00:19:08,752 --> 00:19:09,786
Here's hoping.
541
00:19:11,855 --> 00:19:13,223
Stop the celebration!
542
00:19:13,290 --> 00:19:15,158
I have a confession to make!
543
00:19:15,225 --> 00:19:16,860
I didn't win this award.
544
00:19:16,927 --> 00:19:19,229
It was given to me
to keep my mouth shut.
545
00:19:19,296 --> 00:19:20,964
[crowd gasps]
She's crazy!
546
00:19:21,031 --> 00:19:21,999
Shoot her!
547
00:19:22,065 --> 00:19:23,634
I'm not gonna rat you out.
548
00:19:24,468 --> 00:19:26,370
Stand down.
You were saying?
549
00:19:26,436 --> 00:19:29,840
This year's Oakie should go
to someone with integrity,
550
00:19:29,907 --> 00:19:32,142
someone whose family
can be proud of them.
551
00:19:32,209 --> 00:19:34,077
I made Mommy
think about what she did.
552
00:19:34,144 --> 00:19:37,814
So I'm giving my Oakie
to the dancing crossing guard.
553
00:19:37,881 --> 00:19:39,516
[applause]
554
00:19:39,583 --> 00:19:41,151
Aw, who am I kiddin'?
555
00:19:41,218 --> 00:19:42,519
None of these moves are mine.
556
00:19:42,586 --> 00:19:44,154
I stole 'em
from "Thunder Down Under."
557
00:19:44,221 --> 00:19:48,392
This award should really go to
Small‐talk Stacy from the DMV.
558
00:19:48,458 --> 00:19:50,794
Thanks, but I'm super racist.
559
00:19:50,861 --> 00:19:53,997
It really should go to Andre,
the crime scene photographer.
560
00:19:54,064 --> 00:19:55,532
Let me stop you right there.
561
00:19:55,599 --> 00:19:58,001
I kill them, I pose them,
and worst of all,
562
00:19:58,068 --> 00:19:59,603
I use Photoshop.
[crowd gasps]
563
00:19:59,670 --> 00:20:02,272
He wanted to take me out
for drinks tomorrow.
564
00:20:02,339 --> 00:20:04,174
Is there
any civil servant here
565
00:20:04,241 --> 00:20:05,842
who isn't secretly a monster?
566
00:20:05,909 --> 00:20:07,110
What about Mr. Mitch?
567
00:20:07,177 --> 00:20:08,946
He works three jobs
at the school,
568
00:20:09,012 --> 00:20:10,414
and he only gets paid for one.
569
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,549
Plus, you wouldn't believe
some of the idiot kids
570
00:20:12,616 --> 00:20:13,650
he has to put up with.
571
00:20:13,717 --> 00:20:15,419
I also run a suicide hotline.
572
00:20:15,485 --> 00:20:16,954
[cell phone rings]
Hello?
573
00:20:17,020 --> 00:20:18,722
Yeah, don't do that.
574
00:20:18,789 --> 00:20:20,023
Okay. Be cool.
575
00:20:20,090 --> 00:20:21,358
Okay, sure. Why not?
576
00:20:21,425 --> 00:20:23,760
And the winner
of the Oakie Award
577
00:20:23,827 --> 00:20:25,128
is Mr. Mitch.
578
00:20:25,195 --> 00:20:28,432
[cheers and applause]
579
00:20:28,932 --> 00:20:31,535
And now I'd like
to wrap up our ceremony
580
00:20:31,601 --> 00:20:34,304
with a little joke
my mother told me.
581
00:20:34,371 --> 00:20:35,305
Uh‐oh.
582
00:20:35,372 --> 00:20:38,041
Small‐talk Stacy,
you're gonna love this.
583
00:20:38,108 --> 00:20:42,612
[in slow motion]
No!
584
00:20:46,850 --> 00:20:47,985
Now, when you work
the night shift,
585
00:20:48,051 --> 00:20:49,252
you get a lot of crazies.
586
00:20:49,319 --> 00:20:51,321
Have a look at this gal
from last week.
587
00:20:51,388 --> 00:20:53,156
Yes, we'd like
to order two‐‐
588
00:20:53,223 --> 00:20:54,324
Hola.
589
00:20:54,391 --> 00:20:55,392
Annie, please.
Hey.
590
00:20:55,459 --> 00:20:57,861
[slurring] Is that little dog
still your boss?
591
00:20:57,928 --> 00:20:59,229
What little dog?
592
00:20:59,296 --> 00:21:01,231
You know,
he's in the commercial.
593
00:21:01,298 --> 00:21:03,367
He's always sayin',
"Yo quiero this,"
594
00:21:03,433 --> 00:21:05,035
and, "Yo quiero that."
595
00:21:05,102 --> 00:21:07,104
Annie, those commercials
were 20 years ago.
596
00:21:07,170 --> 00:21:09,006
That dog's probably dead.
597
00:21:09,072 --> 00:21:10,741
What?
What did you do to him?
598
00:21:10,807 --> 00:21:13,844
I didn't do anything.
Animals just die sometimes.
599
00:21:13,910 --> 00:21:16,213
Yo quiero answers!
600
00:21:16,279 --> 00:21:19,016
[sobbing]
Why couldn't it have been me?
601
00:21:19,082 --> 00:21:22,152
He was my best friend.
602
00:21:22,219 --> 00:21:26,790
Why? Why?
603
00:21:26,857 --> 00:21:28,814
This goes on
for another three hours,
604
00:21:28,881 --> 00:21:30,416
but you get it.
605
00:21:30,482 --> 00:21:32,685
Why?
606
00:21:32,735 --> 00:21:37,285
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