All language subtitles for CHiPs S02E08 The Grudge

Pilot to crew.

Another 30 minutes,
we got it made.

Ole!

Did you hear that, pudge?

Another 30 minutes,
we're back in Frat City.

Man, there was
nothing to it.

Yeah, and I thought initiations
were supposed to be a drag.

Speaking of drags

what do you say we celebrate
with a little cannabis rex?

- Yeah.
- Alright.

- Alright. Yeah.
- Yes, indeed.

- Mmm.
- Yeah.

Ha ha ha.

Now I heard
everything.

What's the matter, Ponch?
It makes perfect sense.

The faster you go, the faster
your nail polish would dry.

Cool it.
Two chippies at 10 o'clock.

Hey, Ponch, the tunnel.

That rig's way over
the height limit.

For the love of
those bummers.

Never mind.

- Hang on tight.
- Well, go get 'em, A.J.

O- Old Chris here knows the roads
like the back of his hand.

Hey, and stash the joint.

Uh, oh, boy. Uh.

A- About that car sickness
I never told you guys about..

I gotta lie down.

No!

Hey, Chris,
what happened?

Oh, God,
he'll kill me.

My old man's
gonna kill me.

You guys all right?

- We weren't breaking the law.
- Look what you made me do!

Hey, man, you blew
the warning signs.

We were just trying
to head you off.

Lousy hotshots.

Hey, Turk, cool it, huh.

'Help! Somebody help!'

It's Todd.
He's up in the bunk.

Please, help me.

It's ok, kid. Relax. We'll have
you out in a second.

Fire!

'It's on fire.'

The batteries are arcing
all over the place.

Hey, give me that oar
over there, quick.

Give me that oar,
man, now!

'I can't get out.'

Get back.

What seems to be
the problem, officer?

Problem?
There's no problem.

It's just that, uh, these
burning rags seems to be

woven with pure Acapulco gold.

Marijuana.

Yeah. Couple kilos at least.

Come on, you guys.

You never saw
the stuff, okay?

Yeah, just a-a quick trip
down to Mexico

brought back some souvenirs,
that's all.

It's not for sale
or anything like that.

If I could explain, officer.

It's a just a little
initiation stunt.

You know how it is you plan
a big fraternity blowout

you want to do it
up right, huh?

You're choking me up,
you know.

Come on, give us a break.

Yeah, you owe us one, seeing as
how you got us into this mess.

Hey, listen, an ounce,
we write you a ticket

but anything over that,
you tell it to the judge.

Thanks very much.

Bet you a buck we don't
even get to testify.

Will the defendants
please rise?

Pay me.

Hey, I didn't even
open my mouth.

You have entered pleas
of guilty.

Now, the transportation of drugs

or any mind-altering substance
constitutes a felony

and I'm going to credit you
with the understanding

of the seriousness
of your crime.

I trust that I'm right
in that regard?

Dean Porter has informed me
that you have been suspended

for the balance of the semester

and that your fraternity
has been barred

from campus for one year.

In view of the punitive action
taken by Freemont University

and the fact that this is your
first offense for each of you

the sentence
for each of you will be

six months. Suspended.

Court adjourned.

Hey, no hard feelings, I hope.

Yeah, after all, we found you.
You didn't find us.

We just blew our cool.

You guys were doing
your job.

Listen, next time
you go shopping in Mexico

stick to velvet
piggy banks, okay?

Cute.

- Real cute.
- Yeah.

A regular
Batman and Robin.

Uh, hey, you guys, wait up.

Uh-oh. Talk about
a blue Monday.

Ah, Jon, as one of
the few officers around here

who has it all together,
uh, present company included

what are your
honest feelings about

the CHP encouraging
its officers

to get involved
with the community

you know, above and beyond
the call of duty?

My feeling is that sergeants
that ask questions

like that are not to be trusted.

Ah... Jon, that's what
makes you a good cop.

Perfect instincts.

Yes.

Ok, uh, let's get it on.

I know it's running late,
and you guys just can't wait

to get out on your beats.

But, uh, first, a word about
our upcoming open house.

First I got some good news
and some bad news.

First the bad news.

Uh, Officer Don Walters
will not be able

to be the chairman
of the open house.

He's been called to Sacramento
on an FBI Auto Theft Seminar.

And the good news is
that Officer Jon Baker

has very graciously volunteered
to take his place.

Hey, wait a minute. I'm already
on the motorcycle drill team.

Let's give the new chairman
of the open house

a big hand for doing double
duty, shall we?

See, it pays to stay on his
rotten side, like me.

Now I have
a very special award.

Since there are no volunteers
for the chairmanship

of the refreshment committee

it gives me great pleasure to
bestow this very vital function

on our most gifted virtuoso

of the on-duty coffee break

Officer Frank Poncherello.

Hey! Ha, ha.

That's my partner.

No. I'm on
the drill team, sarge.

Come on, what do I know
about refreshments?

Give it to one of the girls.
It's their bag. Come on, sarge.

Ready to split,
huh, Todd?

Yeah, I guess so.

My folks didn't
give me much choice.

How about you guys?

Are you going to stick it out
here the rest of the semester?

Yeah, for a while, anyway.

Sure beats listening to my old
man tell me, "I told you so."

Yeah, well, uh,
see you guys.

Sorry the way things turned out
for the whole house.

I just can't believe alpha
omega's been kicked off campus.

Yeah, and all because
of those cops.

Man, i-if only there was
some way we could give them

some of their own medicine.

Yeah, wouldn't that be nice?

Uh, not that I'd want
to get anybody hurt.

I'd just like to
make them squirm

the way they're
making us squirm.

You mean really
embarrass them.

Yeah... them, t-their buddies,
the whole cotton-picking CHP.

The more the merrier.

I mean, we've certainly
got the time

and the brainpower.

Might even be some fun.

Talk about sheer irony.

Have you guys seen
these handouts?

Courtesy of your
civic-minded student union.

"Come join the fun."

At CHP headquarters.

They're holding an open house
a week from Saturday.

Big deal.
Fun with the fuzz.

Yeah, and then again,
this just might be

exactly what we're looking for.

Oh, yeah.

What a way
to turn the tables.

It's perfect.

'Okay, Sindy, okay.
So I'm a male chauvinist pig.'

The point is, I got to line up
a bunch of cookies

for my refreshment stand
from somewhere.

Oh, I see.

And since I'm a woman,
I belong in the kitchen

just baking
my little heart away.

Well, why not?

You don't have
any other assignments.

Yes, I do.

I just happen to be
demonstrating techniques

for communicating
with the handicapped.

Okay, that's great

but there are going to be
a lot of little girls

and little boys there

and they're gonna get
hot and tired and hungry.

Now, what am I
gonna do about them?

Ponch, how should I know
any better than you?

I mean, half the parents in this
world are men, you know.

Ah, problems,
Poncherello?

Hey, listen, sarge, about this
refreshment committee thing.

I gotta resign.
I don't know what I'm doing.

Hey, you're doing fine.

Ah, but I do have one
little hint for you.

What

Will you handle the open house
problems on your own time?

You're on company time now.
Get with it.

Mail those for me, will you?

Okay, let's go over it
one more time

so everyone
has it straight.

Now, the helicopter
will be in Area B

W- Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Freeze.

Now, I thought my pistol
range was in Area B.

No, no, no.
See, that's Area C.

Uh, you said the mobile
salvage crane was Area C.

No. See, B, C...

Yeah.

Okay, let's take it
from the top again.

Okay, guys, come on,
break it up.

Time to hit the bricks.
Boss' orders.

Hey, wait a minute. When am I
supposed to get this stuff done?

Sergeant says you can take all
the time you need

just as long as it's
between midnight

and 2,00 in the morning.

'You really
ticked off at Getraer?'

'Yeah, for eight reasons.'

'Hot drinks, cold drinks,
pies, cakes, candy, and nuts.'

'That's only seven.'

'The topper is
the drill team.'

'He expects me to practice day
and night on that.'

'Hey, Ponch, trouble.'

Hey, Ponch.

You're not
gonna believe this.

Let me guess. Locked up
tight as a drum, huh?

Yeah, well, that's
not the half of it.

You got a note on the dash
addressed to you.

What, man?

Come on, there's no time
for games, Baker.

Let me have your baton.

Baton.

Yeah. Get in there.

Turn that hard right.

Easy.

Alright.

Excuse me while
I read my mail, okay?

"Pat a cake,
pat a cake, Baker's man."

That's it?

Hey, check it out.
They maybe forgot something.

Wrong again.

They didn't forget
a thing.

Flour. Ain't ordinary flour.

Man, that's gonna
drive them ape.

And not a word over
one syllable long.

I think they can
handle that.

What's that?

Mother goose strikes again.

You've gotta be kidding.
You, too?

"Bake a cake
as fast as you can."

Well, that shoots
that theory down.

What theory?

About 3 years ago, this little
blonde said she'd get me

if it was
the last thing she ever did.

But now... they want both of us.

Uh, could you
repeat that, sir?

I sure hope you know what
you're doing, Ponch.

What? And set
a trend around here?

Come on. Who are you kidding?

You're really into this open
house, and you know it.

Well, if I'm gonna do something,
I'm gonna do it right.

Uh, just one moment.

Besides, every cloud
has a silver lining.

Uh, the arts and crafts table
goes over there, Mr. Perez.

Uh.

Hey, Poncherello,
you got a minute?

And Baker, you, too.

Yeah, what's up, sarge?

Let me guess.
Uh, Jon's brush is too loud.

Very funny.

Look, will you two tell
your practical joker buddies

that I am not
a messenger service?

What practical
joker buddies?

Uh, whoever left
this letter

at the front desk addressed
to, uh, "Ponch and Judy."

Oh.

Let's see, "One for the money,
two for the show

"three to get ready
to make some dough."

I think somebody's
trying to tell us something.

Yeah, first, it was, uh,
Baker's man, then some flour

and now some dough.

There's a pattern
there somewhere.

Yeah, the question is, why?

I mean, why us?

Why not..

Judy?

- Looking good, Turk.
- Yeah.

You sure you've
got the routine?

In order to get
back to central

they've got to take the Santa
Monica transition westbound.

Right. 4:25 sharp.

You got the play money?

You bet.

Alright, let's do it, men.
Let's do it.

Man, I'd give anything to see
the expression on their faces.

Easy. This is
just phase two.

Next Saturday
is all ours.

'Hey, Jon, remind me to call
Cynthia when we get back.'

'She makes the greatest
oatmeal cookies.'

How do you like that?

Right on schedule.

- I told you so.
- Alright.

Alright, anytime, now.
Come on.

Woo-hoo!

Yes!

Yeah, a-alright.

You alright?
Alright.

LA 15, 7 Mary 3 and 4.

10-97, multiple collisions,
210 Eastbound at Glen Oaks.

I don't believe this.

Incredible, isn't it?

I was just driving
along, minding my own business

and somebody started dumping
this stuff all over the place.

All these big bills,
and it won't even

buy me a cup of coffee.

Forget the coffee, ma'am.

Somebody could have
been killed here.

Well, come on, partner,
what are you staring at?

I just don't believe it.

What do you mean?
What are you talking about?

That last rhyme. "Three to get
ready to make some dough."

Alright, you can take
the whole bullpen area

for your computer
readout exhibit.

Yeah. Thanks a lot.

Hmm.

Sorry I missed you
this morning.

I had to stop
at the library.

You're just in time.

Go on, hit me.

"You're not very bright,
but give it a shot.

"To get it right, just mind
your peas and porridges."

Uh-huh. Now we're
getting somewhere.

And what's that?

Mother goose.

So far, everything's
right out of this baby

including the peas
and porridge jazz.

Here we go. Page 35.

"Pease porridge hot,
peas porridge cold.

'"Pease porridge
in the pot, nine days old."'

Hey, pretty soon, you're gonna
be ready for Dr. Seuss.

Oh, uh, morning, sarge.

It's a present
for my niece.

Well, when you get to
the part about the mouse

who runs up the clock

take a hint, will you?

Pease porridge
in the pot, Nine days old.

Hey, Jon, telephone.
Line two.

Yeah, okay. Great.

Hello, Officer Baker.

'This is Tom Weeland
over at Weeland Bakeries.'

Mm-hmm.

I heard about
your open house

and I was wondering
if I could donate

some bakery goods to the cause.

You know, since I can't hold
my excess inventory

over to Monday anyway.

Yeah, well,
sounds great.

Why don't you hang on
just a second.

Hey, listen, a bakery wants
to know if they can donate

some goodies, you interested?

Are you kidding? I'll take
everything they got.

Oh, well, uh,
what about Cynthia?

Oh, I figured it would
be in poor taste

to bother her on
her honeymoon.

Uh, Mr. Weeland?

Listen, my refreshment chairman

says that, uh, he would
greatly appreciate your offer.

Well, good.

I'll have my truck over there
Saturday around noon.

Please, it's the least I can do.

Okay, thank you.

Oh, yeah!

Good going.

We are all set.

I told my uncle I needed
one of his trucks

to pick up
some furniture.

- Well, alright.
- Do it. Let's go.

That's the convertible.

That's what
I was thinking.

Alright, hang on.

Okay. Okay, man.

Well, well.
Look what we got here.

Joe College.

Okay, let's go.
School's out.

Come on.

Looks like everything's
starting to fall into place.

What are you guys
talking about?

Oh, nothing.

We spend all our spare time
figuring out riddles.

Yeah. Right, right,
shot, pot.

Stuff like that.

I knew it.
Those two chippies are here.

Oh, no. They got our bail
revoked. What do you bet?

Relax. This just makes things
more interesting.

'Well, wait
a minute, Freddy.'

Davey and I go
to court, not you.

Charged with what? Littering
the freeway with play money?

It was an accident.

Try reckless driving and failing
to obey a police officer.

Pure harassment, man.
It'll never stick.

They've had it in
for us ever since

we beat the possession rap.

Hello, gentlemen.
Sorry to disturb you.

Good old officers Baker
and Poncherello here.

Mind if we take
a minute of your time?

Well, this is a surprise.

We just wanted to return
your love letters.

Seeing as how we're
going to break up

this little romance right now.

What in the world
is he talking about?

I'm talking about what seems
to be fun and games to you guys

and it's gonna get
somebody killed out there.

Oh, what fun and games?

How about abandoning
a car right

in the middle
of the freeway

provoking a monumental
traffic jam

and speeding through
a public park, huh?

You know,
you guys are lucky

you're really lucky
you're not staring

a manslaughter-2
right in the face.

The bottom line is it's got to
stop right here and now.

You got a beef against us?

Let's settle it... face to face.

Hey, Ponch, uh, I think
they got the message.

Did you get
the message, anybody?

I didn't get
any message.

Paper plates! Remind me
to get paper plates.

And plastic forks.

Hey, Jon, I think somebody's
trying to tell you something.

Why didn't you guys
come to me earlier?

We thought we could
handle it ourselves.

Yeah, till
20 minutes ago.

Look, I've got
no choice but to

pull you guys off
the open house

as of now,
for your own safety.

No way, sarge.

Yeah, if something's
gonna break today

it's better that it looks like
we don't suspect anything.

Well, alright, but I'm doubling
the security just in case.

Alright. Thank you.

Okay, start setting up
the paper plates and cups.

Hey, Ponch, looks like
you really outdid yourself.

First-class all the way,
stewardess and all.

He loves the way I say coffee,
tea, or what have you.

Hey, guys. Mail call.

Don't forget, drill team
goes in 15 minutes.

Looks like mother goose
strikes again.

"Pat a cake,
pat a cake, Baker's man.

"Bake me a cake
as fast as you can".

Beautiful.
Back to square one.

No, hold it. There's more to it.

"Pat it and prick it
and mark it with a B.

"Put it in the oven
for Alice and Wheee"?

Alice and Wheee?

Oh, no!

My stand!
You're too close!

Help me, Linda! Look.

'Oh. Oh, no.'

Oh, no.

Mm-hmm... nothing like
the smell of homemade brownies.

Hey, hey, let's hear it for all
those brave and fearless girls

from dear old
Gamma Delta Phi!

Yeah!

Hey... beautiful.

Come back in a few minutes
for some cookies, too.

Bake a cake.

B instead of T,
Alice instead of Tommy.

Come on, Ponch,
you're missing all the fun.

Don't I know it.

What if Baker spots us?

With all these
civilians around? No chance.

He's too busy
being nice.

Listen, honey,
you mind the store.

I got to go teach Evil Knievel
a few things, okay?

Okay.

Any inspiration?

Nothing.

Cake, pot,
Alice and Wheee.

Who can track it?

Excuse me, Sindy.

Okay, you guys,
all I expect is perfection.

Nothing less.

Okay, we're gonna have
the drill team now.

brownies,
the kids'll love 'em.

I can guarantee it.

Excuse me.

- Hey, Ponch!

That bakery truck.

It's not cakes.
It's brownies.

Remember the Wheee
in Weeland?

Put that with Alice
and the B.

So what are you
driving at?

Alice B Toklas.
Remember the movie?

That's the name of
the cookbook when they sprinkle

all the pot on everything
including the brownies.

Bye.

Come on.

Meaning we as in Wheee?

They spotted us.

Hey, don't touch that,
alright?

Okay, wise guy,
end of the line.

Get him out of here.

Ponch, how could you?

Don't look at me.

I told Getraer I didn't know
what I was doing.

Ah, the captain has asked me
to read the following.

"I wish to commend
all those responsible

"for making
our fifth annual open house

"such an outstanding success

"and in particular the fine work
of Officer Jon Baker

"for providing
the highest level of leadership

"in the face of
outside interference

"that threatened the well-being
of every visitor."

"Signed, Captain John Haskell,
commander, Central Area."

Sarge, wait a minute.
What about Ponch?

Now wait a minute.
Wait a minute. I'm not through.

Of course. Who could forget
your contribution?

This is just for you.

According to this bill

25 bucks will just
about take care of

the damage
to the lemonade dispenser.