All language subtitles for Bunkd s05e14 The Great Awkward Bake-Off.eng

[WHIRRING]

Wow.

So you really bought
the famous Moose Rump moose rump.

Sure did.

Yet the good medical supplies
were too expensive.

I never thought
I'd see a butt hung

in the mess hall
in my lifetime.

Brings a tear
to your eye.

Do we have
to hang it here, where we eat?

And right above
the fudge nuggets?

If it were up to me,
I'd move all butt-based art

away from poop shaped food.

Well, excuse me
if I don't listen to you,

considering the way you ran
this camp while I was gone,

you are still
in the dog house.

Oh! I think
I did pretty okay.

You thought Matteo was lost
in another dimension.

Science can't prove
he wasn't.

-He was with me.
-And you are not science.

Lou, if you are going
to hang a moose part where we eat,

which you shouldn't,
why not the head?

Well, because nobody
knows where it is.

Legend has it that the head
that goes along with this rump

was stolen from the
local "Mooseum" years ago.

Besides, do I look
like I've got moose head money?

Yo, Lou,
what's with this weird old book?

That's not
a weird old book.

That is the Great Book
Of Woodchuck,

containing the most
sacred traditions of Woodchuck cabin.

Although Jed did
weave the binding

with his own back hair.
So it's a little weird.

Information I would
have loved to have

before I picked it up.

Lou realized
we didn't have a Woodchuck

initiation ceremony
for Ava last summer.

So we're finally going
to give her one

when she gets back
from visiting her spa.

I mean, her parents.

Wow. I never knew
there was so much

that went into
being a Woodchuck.

Yeah, it's not
for the weak.

It's more of a...
Grizzly Cabin thing.

Hey, that's not fair.

Noah, I just hiccupped
and pulled a muscle in my shoulder.

Can we take
nap time early today?

Okay. It's
a little fair.

[WHISTLES] ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

I'm so excited for Ava

to become
an official Woodchuck.

Also, question.

How many Woodchucks
did a wood chopper chop

to make the Woodchuck cape
I'm holding?

Eh, don't worry.

It's mostly made
of Jed's back hair.

And by the way,

the Woodchuck
initiation's been canceled.

What? But I've been practicing
for the shouting

of compliments ritual all day.

And I can't wait to tell Ava,

[SHOUTS] "She sings
like an angel!"

[SHUSHES]

That is part of the problem.

Junkyard Judy filed another
noise complaint against us.

Who's Junkyard Judy?

She owns that junkyard
that borders the camp.

She's always complaining
about how loud we are.

She's the reason
our sing-alongs

have been changed
to whisper-alongs.

And I am really tired
of singing...

♪ If you're happy
and you know it

♪ Keep it down ♪

Why didn't you
tell me about this?

If you'll let me,
I can totally win Judy over.

Oh, ho, ho, Destiny.

Nobody wins
Junkyard Judy over.

We are in the middle
of a good old-fashioned feud here.

The only way it ends
is if one of our descendants

falls in love
against our family's wishes.

We can also
just talk to her.

Tsk. Destiny.

You don't just talk to Judy.

She's... Oh, how shall I
put this delicately?

Um, a heinous anger gremlin.

Lou, I promise we can
get Judy to like us.

Fine, but I'm telling you,
this isn't going to work.

The Woodchuck should
just accept that we've done

our last traditional
pot clanging,

dancing, cleansing scream.

Wait, are we
the bad guys here?

Oh. Hey, Parker.
There you are.

I was just about
to head down to...

Are you gonna play
tetherball by yourself?

Hey, to be the best,
you gotta beat the best.

Anyway, I have a list
of things I need you to do.

Finally, some real
responsibility.

Uh, you'll have
to forgive me, Lou.

I don't have
much experience with this,

but it looks like
you accidentally

handed me a list
of, what do you call them, "cho-res"?

They're called chores,
rich boy.

And it wasn't an accident.

Hatch up leaky canoes,

clean the windows
of the mess hall?

Don't you have any big,
important things for me to do.

Like what about my
double-decker bunk bed idea?

For the last time,

bunk beds are already
double-decker.

And by the way,
you need to have

everything on that list
finished by the end of the day.

Otherwise, you're staying
in the dog house.

I can't finish this
by tomorrow.

There's 21 things
on this list.

Oh. Well, I guess
you better try.

Maybe knock out
one of the harder ones first.

Like number 13.

Unclog Grizzly Cabin toilet?

There's a reason why
I made it number 13.

Why?

Grizzlies, something's
bugging me.

I told you
to cut all the tag-side of your sweaters.

No, I did that,
and it changed my life.

But, I meant, it's just not
fair that Woodchuck Cabin

has so many cool
rituals and traditions, and we don't.

They have a salute,
an initiation, and a smelly mascot.

Yeah, the only
smelling mascot we have is Finn.

Uh, and he's killing it.

Hey, guys. I hope
your day's going better than mine.

We're kind of bummed
the Grizzlies don't have

a bunch of bonding activities
like the girls.

So you're basically
looking for a list of things to do?

Not just things.

Things that will help us
form a lifelong sense

of camaraderie
and interdependence.

Yes.

And I, too, understand
all of the big words that Matteo's saying.

Parker, why are you
walking around with a plunger?

What? [CHUCKLES]
This isn't my going out plunger.

I better go put it back.

Looked pretty
fancy to me.

I'm telling you,
this is never gonna work.

It's a feud
as old as time,

like the Hatfields
and McCoys,

or orange juice
and toothpaste.

Just watch and learn.

Who are you?

Why, thank you for asking.

My name is Destiny.

And we're
from Woodchuck Cabin at Camp Kikiwaka.

Well, that's why we don't
call her Reasonable Judy. Come on, let's go.

Hi, Judy, was it?

I think we got off
on the wrong foot.

Here is a little
peace offering from us to you.

Pickled otter paws.

I see you didn't spring
for declawed.

You're our neighbor,
not the Queen of England. [CHUCKLES]

Hey, have you all heard
a door slam part two?

If you liked the first one,
you'll love the sequel.

Well, we should
consider ourselves lucky.

Back home,
this is the part of the feud

where the pitchforks
come out.

Hey, guys, look what I found
in the camp archives.

It looks like
the Great Book Of Woodchuck.

But this
is the Ye Old Book Of Grizzly.

How could I not
have seen that before?

Not to brag, but I do spend
a lot of time by myself in the archives.

Was misfiled
in the sports section.

Oh, that's why.

And look what's inside.

Ooh, I know this one.

Words.

"The 21 tenets
of the Grizzly.

"A list of service-based
Grizzly Cabin traditions."

We were just
talking about

wanting something
like this.

How weirdly convenient.

Right? It's a list of
bonding exercises specifically for Grizzly Cabin.

There's a lot of them,
though.

Are you sure
you're up for them?

[SCOFFS] Of course.

What are we waiting for?

Let's forge
new links of fellowship

and interpersonal attachment.

Yes. Those are the things
that are good which we want.

Parker, are you in?

You are our honorary Grizzly,
after all.

Aww, thanks, guys.

All right,
enough chitchat.

First tenet reads...

"Rising tides lift all boats,
but a Grizzly cannot bond

"if the bottom of his canoe
be not bonded."

Hmm.

I wonder what that could mean.

Well, lots of our canoes
have holes in them.

It must mean

we should patch them up
and work together, so we don't sink.

Huh. What an unexpected
and fascinating interpretation.

Come on, fellas,
let's go make some canoes legally seaworthy.

Camaraderie is the best.

And I also know
what's going on.

What is this?

Hi, neighbor.

It looked like you could use
some help organizing.

And we Woodchucks
are always happy to lend a hand.

So what do you think?

What do I think?
[CHUCKLES]

I think you
ruined everything.

Okay.

In pageants, I always
charm the judges most during the Q and A portion.

So, let me tell you what being
an American means to me.

You put the hubcaps
next to the broken toilet seats.

They're supposed
to be scattered on top of the doll heads.

I have a system.

This is probably
a bad time to tell you,

but you have otter fur
in your teeth.

Lugnut!

[DOG GROWLING]

Nice doggy.

Aw! Nice doggy.

Sic her.[BARKS]

[SCREAMS]

I'm sorry I touched
your toilets.

Let's see.
The next tenet says...

"Grizzlies must see
into the eyes of other Grizzlies.

"Eyes are the windows
of the soul,

"and windows are
the windows of windows."

Well, that sounds like
we should clean the mess hall windows.

It does?

If you want to see
into Matteo's soul,

he has a diary he thinks
I don't know about.

Hey, those are
private feelings and bird drawings.

Try reading the next tenet.
Maybe it'll be more clear.

"The prey of the Grizzly
must be pure.

"Feast not upon
the aged salmon, but upon the fresh,

"or at least the less old."

Okay, that one's
just gibberish.

And this is coming
from a guy who pretends to understand Shakespeare.

It is tricky,
but I think it means we need to make sure

there's no expired food
in the fridge.

Hey, maybe if we split up,
we could finish them quicker.

Uh, it's going to be
pretty difficult to bond if we split up.

Or will it be easier?

No, I think
it's the thing I said.

My head's
starting to hurt.

Let's just go
clean windows.

Parting is such
sweet sorrow...

I think. I really
don't get that guy.

Did you just huck
a big old book into the bushes?

Uh, yeah. [CHUCKLES]
Chore 18 on the list.

Pest extermination.
So I threw a book at a possum.

If it didn't finish him off,

perhaps he'll take this chance
to better himself.

Well, just remember,
you have until the end of the day

to get out of the dog house.

Everyone who knows me
knows I'm tough but fair.

And love arbitrary deadlines.

Well, I can see,
Gwen hasn't been making her bed, hm.

This is an old checklist.

Whoa! What happened to you?

I give up.

I tried to kill Judy
with kindness,

and she tried to kill me
with an angry poofball.

Okay, now she's gone too far.

You mess with one
of Mama's campers,

and Mama is going
to mess with you.

Okay, Are you Mama
in this scenario?

Yes, I'm Mama.
This is my tough voice.

Well, sign me up
for the feud.

I guess I'm not as charming
as I thought I was.

I mean, what do
I have left now,

besides beauty,
brains and talent?

You forgot modesty.

But don't worry.
When we're finished with Judy,

she will wish
she had never met us.

She already wishes that.

It is just something
people say.

Come on, guys.
No time to rest.

We gotta finish these tenets
by the end of the day.

Why?

You asked
a good question, Finn.

Plowing ahead.

"The Grizzly shines
his light upon the camp,

"banishing darkness
wherever it lurks."

This one must mean...

Exactly. It means we need
to swap out all the burned out bulbs around camp.

Ancestral Grizzlies,
you're crazy.

How does
that make sense?

Light bulbs were invented
after the book was written.

Yes, uh, the Grizzlies
of all, truly were ahead of their time.

Anyway, I'm gonna go grab
some fresh bulbs.

I feel so close
to you all right now.

Something isn't right.

I know. Let me
see this thing.

Hey, after the 21 tenets,
all the pages are blank.

So, no ending?

Jeez, even Matteo's
boring diary wraps up with a nice poem about friendship.

Uh, what's that?

This is a list
of all the things we've been doing.

And it's titled
"Chores for Parker

"to get out
of the dog house."

Does that mean raking
the leaves on the great lawn meant nothing to him?

All right,
listen to this.

How many Grizzlies
does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Okay, I know
what you're thinking.

The bare minimum.
Yes!

Okay, I know
what you're thinking.

And I'm really sorry.

I just... I needed help

with Lou's insanely long
chore list.

So you made
a fake book?

How did you even do that?
It looks so real.

Well, first I aged the pages
under a heat lamp.

Then I watched an online
leather tanning series for the cover.

And lastly, I hired
a calligrapher to write out the 21 tenets.

It would have just been easier
to do the chores, man.

Or you could have
asked us to help you.

We would have done it.

But instead,
you took advantage of our Grizzly family

to get what you needed.

Yeah, Parker, there's no
"I" in Grizzly Cabin.

Actually,
there's two, Finn.

Parker, there's two I's
in Grizzly Cabin.

But now there's not a "U".

Okay, Lugnut.

Mommy's going
to the store.

See you in 20 for yoga.

Boop.

Okay, now's our chance.

Quick, give me the treat
to distract Lugnut with.

Then we'll glue
all of Judy's junk together in one big junk hunk.

Yes, my pants will have
their revenge.

JUDY: Oops,
this isn't my purse.

This is my doll head bag.

She's coming.
Quick, hide!

I can still see you.

Usually, hiding
is a whole body thing.

There's something in here.

Hey, what are you doing?

I could ask you
the same question.

LOU: [GASPS] No way!

The Mooseum's
missing moose head?

Anything you want
to tell us, Judy?

Did you take it?

You can't prove
it's the same one.

It says "property
of the Mooseum" on the back.

Dang it! I never should have
gotten that label maker.

It's addictive!

Well, now that you know,
what are you going to do about it?

Well, we could
keep it quiet.

Oh, I see.

How many doll heads
is this going to cost me?

Just leave the camp alone.

No more noise complaints
against Kikiwaka.

Never.

I'd sooner throw away
all my broken toilet seats.

Well, I guess we'll just
have to turn you in.

Fine. Go ahead.

After all, it wouldn't be
the first time you Woodchucks try to ruin my life.

What did you mean
by that?

Better question...

Where are all
the doll bodies?

Hey, there.

Come on. You guys
are still mad at me?

Still, it's only been
like an hour.

We're kids, not fruit flies.

And what you did
was emotionally distressing.

Yeah, and it hurt
our feelings.

After we invited you
to be a Grizzly.

That's not
how you treat family.

You haven't met my family.

The Prestons
don't ask you for help.

They trick you
into helping them.

One time, my sister
fooled me into giving her my android butler

so she could
strip him for parts.

You have
an android butler?

Had, Matteo. Keep up.

You guys have never
been that way with me.

I'm sorry.

I didn't even think
just to ask you for help.

Maybe I should start
acting less like a Preston and more like a Grizzly.

That is, if the Grizzlies
will still have me.

Of course we will.

And the offer stands.

If you need help
finishing Lou's chores,

we're still willing
to lend you a helpful paw.

Thanks. That means a lot.

But I'm gonna finish
the rest on my own.

And first, we should fill
the Ye Old Book Of Grizzly with some real traditions.

Ones we make together.

I think that's
a great idea.

Me, too.

Man, I can't wait
to read about this moment in Matteo's diary later.

I liked it better
when you hated books.

Well, I'm here,
but I don't know why.

If you're gonna turn me in,
I'd rather wait at my dump instead of this one.

This place is not a dump.

It was briefly used
as a dump in the '80s. Read a book.

Look, we wanted to ask you
about what you said earlier.

It seems like you
don't like our camp

because of something
the Woodchucks did to you.

Can you tell us
what it was?

Why do you want to know?

Because you seem
really upset.

And instead
of trying to charm you or prank you,

we should've just
tried talking to you.

So now we are.

Well, if you really care.

When I was a teenager,
I went to Camp Kikiwaka, too.

I was in Honey Badger Cabin.

Ooh, if the snarl fit...

But what I really wanted
was to be a Woodchuck.

Those girls seemed so cool.

And they told me I could
actually join them.

All I had to do to be
initiated into their cabin

was prove myself...

by stealing the moose head
from the Mooseum.

That isn't part of
the Woodchuck initiation.

I know, they lied.

When I got back to camp
with the head,

they said they were
just messing with me.

They were never going
to let me be a Woodchuck.

They just wanted to see
if I would actually do it.

I was really hurt.

I just wanted
to be accepted so badly.

Oh, I am so sorry
you were treated that way.

Thank you.

But it wasn't your fault.

I shouldn't have taken
my feelings out on the camp.

And I know stealing is wrong,
so go ahead, turn me in.

I'll go quietly.

Just promise me
someone will feed my doll heads when I'm gone.

Okay, fine.
We won't turn you in.

You were tricked
by a cruel joke into making a mistake.

It could have
happened to anyone?

Really? You mean it?

Absolutely. I mean,
who among us

hasn't coveted a well-done
piece of moose taxidermy?

It was rhetorical.

I was making a point.

Judy, I never should have
let this turn into a feud.

-We were in a feud?
-Apparently, a one-sided feud.

But I happen to know
the director of the Mooseum.

And I'll see to it
that the head

is anonymously returned
to its rightful owner.

But not the moose.

That ship has sailed.

Wow. [LAUGHS]

This place has really changed
since I was here. [LAUGHS]

I would have loved to have
been Woodchuck with you two.

Well, maybe you still can.

For real? Wait.

You're not going to have me
steal something crazy like a moose butt, are you?

Nah.

We already got
one of those.

I'll give you
50 doll heads if you steal it.

Grizzly Cabin.
Grizzly Cabin.

[ROARING]

Grizzly Cabin.
Grizzly Cabin. [ROARING] Uh, Parker?

So, what you got there?

Oh, this is nothing.

Just a traditional
bear onesies

and a ritual
spirit fire. You?

Hmm. Ancient relic
and a sack full of carved totems.

-Cool.
-Cool.

So I'll assume that since
you're having a blast doing...

[ROARING]
This...

That must mean that
you've completed all the items on the list I gave you.

Not quite. But I will
finish them in the morning.

Tonight, me and the boys
are creating some new Grizzly Cabin traditions.

Come on, Parker.

We can't finish forging
the bonds of our friendship

until you drink this goblet
full of squirrel's blood.

Be right there.

Don't worry.
It's expired tomato juice.

Hey, Lou.[BOYS GRUNTING]

Whoa! What's that?

[ALL ROARING]

That is Parker getting out
of the dog house.

BOYS: Grizzly Cabin.
Grizzly Cabin. [ROARING]

This wood
represents the bond between Woodchucks.

Like our bond,
the wood is strong.

Unlike our bond,
the wood is wood.

What does that mean?

So many things.

You don't have
a clue, do you?

Nope.

And now,
with the ceremonial chucking of the wood,

we proudly welcome
the newest honorary Woodchuck

and friend, Junkyard Judy.

[EXCLAIMS]

[BOTH BEAT BOXING]

You guys call me
Junkyard Judy?

[SCOFFS] No.

Yes.

Would a genuine
mounted moose rump

smooth this over?

[CHUCKLES] It's time.
The kids were taking problematic selfies.

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