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1
00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:05,135
Tell me about it.
2
00:00:05,179 --> 00:00:07,007
Oh, for sure.
For sure.
3
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:08,791
Perf. It's a date.
4
00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:10,575
[cellphone beeps, thuds]
5
00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:12,012
Bad news, guys.
6
00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:13,056
Here we go.
7
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,492
I'm serious, Hayley!
8
00:00:14,536 --> 00:00:16,277
I'm all torn up over here!
9
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:18,322
I have bad news...
10
00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:20,237
for my haters!
11
00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:24,198
Because Danuta is giving
your boy Klaus another shot!
12
00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:26,635
Isn't Danuta dating someone
better than you?
13
00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:30,247
She was!
But he was hit by a train.
14
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,248
Hayley?
15
00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:32,945
Fine.
16
00:00:32,989 --> 00:00:35,731
Danuta has entered the small,
glorious window
17
00:00:35,774 --> 00:00:38,821
I like to call
"The Rebound Zone."
18
00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:40,475
But your personality, Klaus.
19
00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:41,780
It's so bad.
20
00:00:41,824 --> 00:00:43,521
[chuckles] Way ahead
of you, Hayley.
21
00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:46,568
In the Rebound Zone,
cash is king.
22
00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:48,265
The first suitor
to impress Danuta
23
00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:51,486
with a grand display of wealth
will win her heart.
24
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:52,748
Attention, everyone.
25
00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:54,358
It's Crunk Night at the club,
26
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:55,640
and I don't want to look stupid.
27
00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:57,100
Now, which one of these chains
28
00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:58,536
screams "Atlanta?"
29
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:01,409
"A" for Atlanta,
or 7 for Michael Vick?
30
00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:02,801
The club?
31
00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:05,369
Stan, this is the third time
this week.
32
00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:06,936
[groans]
33
00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:09,330
This is how men blow off
steam, Francine.
34
00:01:09,373 --> 00:01:11,941
They go to the club,
order bottle service, and dance.
35
00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:13,464
I shouldn't have
to explain this.
36
00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:14,552
It's caveman shit.
37
00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,859
Women like to dance, too!
38
00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:17,903
Do they, though?
39
00:01:17,947 --> 00:01:19,122
Yes!
40
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:21,385
I've asked you to take me
dancing for years!
41
00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,257
I want to spend time with you!
42
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:26,390
Oh, my God. We literally
just went to Target.
43
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:27,957
We bought me these socks.
44
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,090
I rode in the car with you
the whole way back.
45
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,352
[groans]
46
00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:33,963
There's a difference
between buying socks
47
00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:36,183
and being connected.
48
00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:37,401
Is there, though?
49
00:01:37,445 --> 00:01:39,925
[patriotic music plays]
50
00:01:39,969 --> 00:01:42,580
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
51
00:01:42,624 --> 00:01:46,410
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
52
00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:49,631
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
53
00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:53,939
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
54
00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:59,119
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
55
00:01:59,162 --> 00:02:01,382
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
56
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:02,731
Aah!
57
00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:07,344
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
58
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,868
♪
59
00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:11,696
[doorbell rings]
60
00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:15,526
What the hell do you want?
61
00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:17,354
My name is Henderson.
62
00:02:17,398 --> 00:02:18,877
Okay.
63
00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:20,357
Uh, y-you don't know me,
64
00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:22,359
but I was an acquaintance
of Jack Smith.
65
00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:23,795
Your husband's father.
66
00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,841
Jack's dead. Bye.
67
00:02:25,884 --> 00:02:28,583
[knock on door]
68
00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:31,368
I know about Jack's death.
69
00:02:31,412 --> 00:02:35,198
I would have come sooner,
but I live in Arizona now.
70
00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:36,634
Cool?
71
00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:39,246
I also knew Jack's
little boy, Stan.
72
00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:41,683
I'm sorry.
Shithead, is it?
73
00:02:41,726 --> 00:02:43,075
Henderson.
74
00:02:43,119 --> 00:02:44,686
Jack is dead,
75
00:02:44,729 --> 00:02:47,906
and Stan is all grown up
with an angry wife.
76
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:50,866
You'll have to pay your
respects some other time.
77
00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:52,215
[gun clicks]
78
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:53,912
I think we have
a misunderstanding.
79
00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:55,218
I'm not here to pay respects.
80
00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:57,177
I'm here to collect a debt.
81
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:59,222
Sit on that sofa and don't move!
82
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:02,138
It's story time.
83
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,923
Year was 1988.
84
00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:07,230
Now, without computers
and smartphones,
85
00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:09,841
bad fathers watched porn
in the living room.
86
00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,384
[woman moaning, whip cracks,
horse whinnies]
87
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,584
I learned so much
in school today!
88
00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:16,239
Get this... the sun is a star!
89
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,762
Enough with the questions.
90
00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:20,330
Can't you bore that pen pal
I set you up with?
91
00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:22,376
They hanged him on Christmas.
92
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,682
HENDERSON [chuckles]:
Nobody hated being a dad
93
00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,945
more than Jack Smith.
94
00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:29,426
[indistinct chatter,
music playing]
95
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:34,170
Are you here to tuck me in?
96
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,520
Get an imaginary friend
to tuck you in.
97
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,698
It's quaalude time, people!
98
00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,134
HENDERSON: Stan felt like
99
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:45,268
the loneliest boy
in the whole world.
100
00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:48,750
God, will you send me
an imaginary friend?
101
00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:53,320
HENDERSON: And that's when
I fell into Stan's life.
102
00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:56,584
Dad, I did it!
I made an imaginary friend!
103
00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:58,150
He fell from Heaven!
104
00:03:58,194 --> 00:03:59,456
HENDERSON:
And Jack realized
105
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,632
his prayers
had been answered, too.
106
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:05,201
He never had to spend time
with his son again.
107
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:10,293
From that day on, he paid me
to be Stan's imaginary friend.
108
00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:12,948
Arrgh! Methinks
Captain Blackbeard's
109
00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:15,124
treasure be
'round here somewhere!
110
00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:17,953
Yarr!
I'll watch some TV,
111
00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:21,652
in case they hide
treasure clues in the shows.
112
00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:24,873
On which channel be Donahue?
113
00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:27,092
41.42.
114
00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:29,312
What do you mean
you skipped town?
115
00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:31,009
What about my money, Jack?
116
00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:32,422
- [line disconnects]
- STAN: Ready or not,
117
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:34,709
- here I come.
- I ain't hidden yet!
118
00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,319
Count to 3,000!
119
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:38,539
STAN: Okay!
120
00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:40,758
51.52.
121
00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:42,107
- [thud]
- 53...
122
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:45,502
Jack took off
and stiffed me 300 bucks,
123
00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,243
so I ditched Stan, too.
124
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,811
Took a methamphetamine gig
in Arizona.
125
00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:51,726
Oh, my God!
126
00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:54,032
You and Jack are monsters!
127
00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:55,469
If Stan ever found out...
128
00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:57,297
He'd be crushed.
129
00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:58,863
Which is why you're
gonna cough up
130
00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:01,431
the 300 clams Jack owed me.
131
00:05:01,475 --> 00:05:03,259
You're despicable.
132
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:07,785
I can't believe you manipulated
a kid like that.
133
00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:10,353
Whoa, $500! Thanks.
134
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:12,399
Don't thank me, scumbag.
135
00:05:12,442 --> 00:05:13,922
I'm hiring you.
136
00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:16,968
You are gonna convince Stan
to take me dancing.
137
00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:19,275
Don't mind me. Just passing
through. Huge plans.
138
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,365
Whoa, dude.
You are haggard.
139
00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:24,236
So haggard.
140
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:27,631
So-o-o-o haggard.
141
00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:29,285
I'm off.
142
00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:34,290
These fishbowls are
so cheap-looking.
143
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,771
How am I supposed
to impress Danuta?
144
00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:38,555
- I already told you...
- That one.
145
00:05:38,599 --> 00:05:40,514
Look at the glasswork.
146
00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:43,081
Please tell me it costs
less than the $30
147
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:45,170
I have in my flex
spending account.
148
00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:46,955
Not even close.
149
00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:49,392
[sighs] I'm gonna call
Danuta and cancel our date.
150
00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:51,089
Forget about her.
151
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:54,528
In fact, let's forget
about everything.
152
00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:56,399
Sick bong, Jeff.
153
00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:58,575
Thanks.
I made it myself.
154
00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:00,490
I've been dabbling
in glassblowing.
155
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:03,275
Jeff, do you realize
what this means?
156
00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:04,842
- You could blow me...
- Ha!
157
00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:07,279
...a fishbowl
for my date.
158
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:08,455
Grow up.
159
00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:09,978
[muffled club music playing]
160
00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:11,371
♪ I'd kill for you ♪
161
00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:13,155
♪ Without no drill ♪
162
00:06:13,198 --> 00:06:15,026
♪ Yeah, I'd kill for you ♪
163
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:16,898
What you drinking, stud?
164
00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:18,900
I'm just here to dance
with my friends.
165
00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:21,903
Then why are you dressed
like a slut?
166
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:26,298
Whatever.
You're fat, anyways.
167
00:06:26,342 --> 00:06:29,084
Don't listen to her.
You've had two kids!
168
00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:30,694
You look amazing!
169
00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:32,043
I should get out of here.
170
00:06:32,087 --> 00:06:34,524
Francine's taken the fun
out of dancing.
171
00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:38,049
- [Lil Jon's "Get Low" plays]
- Wait, this is my song!
172
00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:41,226
This! Is! My! Song!
173
00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:43,533
♪ Get low, get low, get low ♪
174
00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:45,230
♪ Get low, get low ♪
175
00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:46,406
♪ To the window! ♪
176
00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:48,843
- [urinating]
- Ahh, tonight was great.
177
00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:51,498
I'm peeing so much, Smith!
178
00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:53,543
Francine and I, ugh.
179
00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:56,459
- [zipper zips]
- Smith, I have some advice.
180
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:59,984
My True Religions are
absolutely drenched in piss.
181
00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:01,638
See you at work!
182
00:07:01,682 --> 00:07:04,728
[laughs]
183
00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:05,792
HENDERSON:
Hey, Blackbeard.
184
00:07:05,816 --> 00:07:07,383
[zipper zips]
185
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,906
Henderson?
186
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,517
It can't be.
187
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,128
My long-lost imaginary friend!
188
00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:14,999
You came back to me!
189
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:17,262
Are you ladies done
with the wall?
190
00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:18,786
I need to take a dump.
191
00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:24,008
I never forgot about you,
Henderson.
192
00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:26,228
I missed you so much!
193
00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:29,536
But why would an imaginary
friend get so old
194
00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:31,059
and sad-looking?
195
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:34,105
'Cause of all the
imaginary drugs I've done.
196
00:07:34,149 --> 00:07:35,367
Ah.
197
00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:38,545
Stan, you're finally
using the tree house,
198
00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:42,113
all alone,
but I brought you two beers,
199
00:07:42,157 --> 00:07:44,464
because beers are good.
200
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,378
Oh, God.
She's so annoying.
201
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:47,379
I'll get rid of her.
202
00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:49,904
[yawns]
Wow, look at the time.
203
00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:52,297
Better stop jerking off alone
in my tree house
204
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:53,777
while there's still daylight.
205
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:56,258
- Nice.
- Okay.
206
00:07:56,301 --> 00:08:00,218
Guess I should
boogie-oogie-oogie back inside,
207
00:08:00,262 --> 00:08:03,918
'cause I love dancing.
208
00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:06,355
[as Francine] "You're finally
using the tree house."
209
00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:07,661
[normal voice]
Come on, dude.
210
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:08,984
Don't come in here
with that when
211
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,533
you're obviously
checking up on me.
212
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:12,970
Mm!
Whadda-hella-dis?
213
00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:15,973
There's only one candy corn
for every two pretzels!
214
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:17,322
Forget this.
215
00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:19,542
You don't deserve
a woman like her.
216
00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:21,239
So long, Stan.
217
00:08:21,283 --> 00:08:23,807
Wait.
If you're saying that,
218
00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:26,549
it means I think
I don't deserve her.
219
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:27,594
How do I keep her?
220
00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:29,639
Take your wife dancing!
221
00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:31,728
Dancing?
With my wife?
222
00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:33,861
Oh, there's got to be
a Plan B. Aah!
223
00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:35,819
When you were 8 years old,
you had nothing.
224
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:37,647
Look at your life now, dummy.
225
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,736
You got a beautiful wife,
okay kids,
226
00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:42,173
and you're gonna
give it all up for what?
227
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:45,568
To jerk it in a tree house
all alone until you die?
228
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:48,440
I mean, doesn't sound that bad.
229
00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:51,182
For an imaginary friend,
you sure pack a wallop.
230
00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:52,706
FRANCINE: It's true.
231
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:55,709
Henderson did pack a wallop,
but it worked.
232
00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,624
Stan took me dancing.
233
00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:59,166
ROGER: Francine, what are you
doing in the voiceover booth?
234
00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:00,888
I've got this booked to record
a commercial
235
00:09:00,931 --> 00:09:02,629
for Brockton Jock Straps...
236
00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:05,283
"The only jock strap
with extra fabric to cover
237
00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:07,721
your whole, horrible ass."
238
00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:11,942
Okay, I locked in a rezzie
at Ruby Tuesday's.
239
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:14,379
You gotta make me
the perfect fishbowl.
240
00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:16,643
We're talking
three dragons minimum.
241
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:18,079
I got this, Klaus.
242
00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:19,254
Stand back.
243
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:22,213
It's about to get toasty.
244
00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:24,259
- ♪ It's getting hot in here ♪
- ♪ So hot ♪
245
00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:26,566
♪ So take off
all your clothes ♪
246
00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,568
♪ I am getting so hot ♪
247
00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:30,570
♪ I want to take
my clothes off ♪
248
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:33,224
- ♪ It's getting hot in here ♪
- ♪ So hot ♪
249
00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:34,617
♪ So take off all your clothes ♪
250
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:37,402
♪ I am getting so hot ♪
251
00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:39,622
♪ I want to take
my clothes off ♪
252
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,644
♪ Why you at the bar if you
ain't poppin' the bottles? ♪
253
00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:43,757
♪ What good is all the fame
if you ain't... models? ♪
254
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,083
♪ I see you drivin' sports cars,
ain't hittin' the throttle ♪
255
00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:48,326
♪ And I'll be down to do 100
with a little bit of ♪
256
00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:49,652
- ♪ And a sprinkle of that ♪
- ♪ Ah, ah ♪
257
00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,286
♪ Let it just fall out ♪
258
00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:52,896
♪ I like it when you ah, ah ♪
259
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:54,942
- ♪ Girl, baby, make it ♪
- ♪ Ah, ah ♪
260
00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:56,508
♪ Oh! ♪
261
00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:58,859
The hell is with these dragons?
262
00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:01,992
I'm not trying to bang
George R.R. Martin over here!
263
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:04,691
I need this to be
a panty-melter, bro-ham.
264
00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:06,475
Do it again!
265
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:10,000
Tonight was magical, my love.
266
00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:12,437
I feel like Cinderella.
267
00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:14,526
You look like Cinderella, too.
268
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:15,963
Like in your face.
269
00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:17,529
[both moaning]
270
00:10:17,573 --> 00:10:19,793
I worked up a sweat,
and I need to run my balls
271
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:22,056
under the sink,
then let's make sweet love.
272
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:24,101
Clean balls!
273
00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:27,235
Now I know I'm in a fairytale.
274
00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:31,587
[humming]
275
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,502
HENDERSON:
How was dancing?
276
00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:35,025
[gasps] Henderson!
277
00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:36,897
What are you doing
in my bathroom?
278
00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:38,420
Eating an apple.
279
00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:41,423
I mean why are you doing
in my bathroom?
280
00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:43,251
Waiting for my next assignment.
281
00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:44,426
And payment.
282
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:46,602
There is no next assignment!
283
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,735
Our business arrangement
is over.
284
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:51,259
Marriage rekindled!
Mission accomplished!
285
00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:55,132
Then I guess I should tell Stan
everything and crush him.
286
00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:57,395
It'll probably end
your marriage.
287
00:10:57,439 --> 00:10:59,049
[gasps]
288
00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:00,050
[door slams]
289
00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:01,878
Francine?
290
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,228
I think you're gonna like this!
291
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:06,709
- Guess what I am?
- I need to come clean.
292
00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:07,928
Guess, Francine.
293
00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:09,320
Sex gargoyle?
294
00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:12,541
Nope. Horse statue
outside PF Chang's,
295
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:15,457
A.K.A. your favorite
statue in the world.
296
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,415
You remembered!
297
00:11:17,459 --> 00:11:20,070
Oh, you're making this so hard.
298
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:22,682
Stan, there is something
you need to know.
299
00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:24,945
Hold that thought while
I come clean about something.
300
00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:27,730
It wasn't my idea
to take you dancing.
301
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,123
[inhales deeply]
302
00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:32,866
I have an imaginary friend
named Henderson.
303
00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:36,130
He made me realize
that you are my everything,
304
00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:38,523
and I never want to drift apart.
305
00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,090
You were about to
confess something?
306
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:41,701
Oh, wow.
307
00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:44,051
Stan, I...
308
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:46,662
once bought a bunch
of 9th graders beer
309
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,620
at a Blues Traveler concert.
310
00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:51,319
Sounds like you're only
confessing to one thing...
311
00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:53,234
being a super cool lady.
312
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:56,411
Well, take some advice
from a super cool lady.
313
00:11:56,454 --> 00:12:00,284
Stan, get rid of
your imaginary friend.
314
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:02,112
He's not real!
315
00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:03,548
But I am.
316
00:12:03,592 --> 00:12:05,463
Who's Henderson?
317
00:12:05,507 --> 00:12:06,943
I know you didn't say
"Henderson,"
318
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:09,206
so that didn't totally work,
but you get the idea.
319
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:11,861
So just to clarify,
you're getting rid of Henderson?
320
00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:13,167
Who's Henderson?
321
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,346
[gasps]
There's paper on me!
322
00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:19,739
Get it off!
Get it off!
323
00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:22,393
Don't move, Mom!
It's stuck to your face!
324
00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:23,743
It's paper!
325
00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:25,092
[line ringing]
326
00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:30,097
Well, here's the problem.
It's paper.
327
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:32,795
Oh. It's a love note
from Stan.
328
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:35,232
"I took Henderson skydiving.
329
00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:39,323
He came from the heavens,
and thither he shall return.
330
00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:41,978
Text if you need tampons,
my queen."
331
00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:43,110
- Aww.
- Aww.
332
00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:44,198
Oh, no!
333
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:47,854
[button clicks]
334
00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:49,072
- [wind whistles]
- Uh.
335
00:12:49,116 --> 00:12:50,291
What's happening?
336
00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:52,902
When do I get my parachute?
337
00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:56,427
You were the greatest friend
a boy could ask for,
338
00:12:56,471 --> 00:13:00,257
but when a boy marries a girl,
he doesn't need friends.
339
00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:01,476
I realize that now.
340
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,870
I-I'm scared, Stan.
341
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,959
I want to go back down
to the ground!
342
00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:08,091
You can go wherever you want.
343
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:09,876
You're imaginary.
344
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:11,486
What the hell are you doing?
345
00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:13,096
It's time for you to help some
346
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:15,446
other boy the way you helped me.
347
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:17,361
I wasn't helping!
348
00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:20,234
Your dad hired me
because he didn't love you!
349
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:22,540
My imagination is so powerful!
350
00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:23,890
This must be what Jim Henson
351
00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:26,066
felt like wrestling
with his ideas.
352
00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:27,850
I'm a real man!
353
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,330
My name is Hank Henderson,
354
00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,898
and I live in
Flagstaff, Arizona.
355
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:34,030
You showed me your cards,
Henderson.
356
00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:36,250
Even I know that's not
a real place.
357
00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:37,338
Goodbye, Henderson,
358
00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:40,645
- and thank you!
- [screams]
359
00:13:42,386 --> 00:13:44,432
Come on, Stan.
360
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:46,390
Don't do anything stupid.
361
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:48,958
- [splat]
- [screams, tires screech]
362
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:51,961
Francine?
363
00:13:52,005 --> 00:13:53,528
No freaking way.
364
00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:54,921
You're never gonna believe this.
365
00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:57,053
Henderson landed on your car!
366
00:13:57,097 --> 00:14:01,144
Huh. I figured he would
disappear or something.
367
00:14:01,188 --> 00:14:02,711
Realistic as hell.
368
00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:04,669
My brain is a marvel.
369
00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:05,864
Good thing you can't see this.
370
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,324
You'd be, like, freaking out.
371
00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:08,717
[whimpers]
372
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:11,763
There's that super cool
lady I know and love.
373
00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:13,635
Want to go dancing?
374
00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:18,509
I have the strangest feeling,
375
00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:20,642
but I can't put my finger on it.
376
00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:25,821
Stan, I need you to listen to me
377
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:26,996
without interrupting.
378
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,432
I live to serve you.
379
00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:30,652
Henderson was hired by your dad
380
00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:33,524
to be your imaginary friend.
381
00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:37,877
That guy on the hood
is an actual dead man.
382
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,139
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
383
00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:40,880
Oh, my God.
384
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,403
Oh, my God!
385
00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:44,927
My own father?
What a great guy!
386
00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:46,146
What?!
387
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:48,931
He hired a man to be
my imaginary friend
388
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,715
because he couldn't be there.
389
00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:52,195
No!
390
00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:55,590
He lied to you,
and I lied to you.
391
00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:59,855
I paid Henderson to manipulate
you into taking me dancing.
392
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,509
I murdered a man.
393
00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:05,426
No. All you did was save
our marriage.
394
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:06,470
Mind pumping the brakes?
395
00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:07,558
[tires squeal]
396
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:09,169
[squeaks, thuds]
397
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:11,040
Just drive around that guy.
398
00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:17,960
The reservation
is in 20 minutes!
399
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:19,701
What the hell
is taking so long?!
400
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:21,442
All of your design notes!
401
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,270
I wouldn't have notes
if you did it right
402
00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:24,793
the first time!
403
00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:27,491
How hard is it to make
a fishbowl with one mongoose,
404
00:15:27,535 --> 00:15:28,666
two Pickle Ricks,
405
00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:30,973
and Kawhi Leonard
in a Knicks jersey?
406
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:33,976
[fire crackles]
407
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,369
Let's go!
408
00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:37,806
That glass is over
1,000 degrees.
409
00:15:37,849 --> 00:15:39,721
- It needs to cool.
- There's no time.
410
00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:41,549
We'll crank the van's A/C.
411
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,246
To Ruby Tuesday's!
412
00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:47,424
Danuta. Sorry I'm late.
Better late than never.
413
00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:48,773
[laughs]
414
00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:51,689
Klaus, wow.
You look great.
415
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,213
Is that a new fish bowl?
416
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,605
- [laughs]
- [sizzling]
417
00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:55,843
I hope we're in
the smoking section.
418
00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:58,392
[chuckles] Waiter!
Ice water immediately!
419
00:15:58,435 --> 00:16:00,176
- And for you?
- Hmm.
420
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:02,744
I'll take... hmm.
421
00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:04,267
[laughs]
422
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:06,313
Let's make that order
two ice waters. [laughs]
423
00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:07,705
I'll take a Chardonnay.
424
00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:10,665
You heard the lady.
[laughs] Hurry! [laughs]
425
00:16:10,708 --> 00:16:12,362
Ooh, wait.
On second thought,
426
00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:14,016
I'm coming off
a bad relationship,
427
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:17,324
and I feel like a dirty martini.
428
00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:19,021
[laughs]
429
00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:20,327
[sizzling]
430
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:23,069
[laughing]
431
00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:27,073
Danuta! Come with me to
the center of the Earth!
432
00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:30,163
[laughs]
433
00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:33,818
[gasps]
434
00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:35,995
Buddy, you're back!
You overheated!
435
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,735
W-What happened to Danuta?
436
00:16:37,779 --> 00:16:39,650
She got a bacon bleu
cheese burger,
437
00:16:39,694 --> 00:16:42,218
but it was so big,
she dislocated her jaw
438
00:16:42,262 --> 00:16:45,047
trying to take a bite,
and now she's at the hospital
439
00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:47,267
and might be dead.
440
00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:49,573
Where's that burger?
Did she finish it?
441
00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:54,056
Can't believe
it's already Monday.
442
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,666
What did we even
do this weekend?
443
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,059
We killed Henderson.
444
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,495
Oh, yeah.
That was crazy.
445
00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:00,149
How are you okay with this?
446
00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:02,673
A man is dead because of us.
447
00:17:02,717 --> 00:17:04,173
If you're worried
about getting caught,
448
00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:06,199
Dick already wiped Henderson
off the grid.
449
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:08,027
As far as the government
is concerned,
450
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:10,638
he really was imaginary.
451
00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:14,033
Whoa.
Forgot how to wink.
452
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:16,731
I'll never be the same.
453
00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:18,820
[sobs]
454
00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:20,517
Come to work with me, honey.
455
00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:23,694
Our grief counselor works
with PTSD every day.
456
00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:27,872
[knock on door]
457
00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:30,049
Go away!
458
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:31,441
Who are you?
459
00:17:31,485 --> 00:17:34,618
I'm Coach Cathy,
the CIA grief counselor
460
00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:36,838
and coach of our softball team.
461
00:17:36,881 --> 00:17:38,013
Stan sent me.
462
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,928
You can't help me.
463
00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:43,149
Oh-ho, you sound like
Tina Turbaco.
464
00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:46,021
She was depressed she couldn't
hit an inside curve ball.
465
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,588
Uh, who? What?
466
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:50,591
Okay, let's see what
we're working with here.
467
00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:52,941
Ooh, still in your robe
at 4:00 P.M.?
468
00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:56,597
Drinking... [sniffs]
Popov from a coffee cup.
469
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,773
Ooh, and an ass that
could stop a Mack truck.
470
00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:00,079
Thank you?
471
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:01,123
How you holding up?
472
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:03,604
Bad! I killed a man.
473
00:18:03,647 --> 00:18:05,432
Well, at least it was a man.
474
00:18:05,475 --> 00:18:08,130
Let's be real,
all guys are assholes.
475
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,959
[chuckles tearfully]
Most guys, I guess.
476
00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:14,136
There's a little sunshine
peeking through.
477
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,443
Ha! Get on up out
of that sofa!
478
00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:19,533
The van is running!
On the hop!
479
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:26,583
This... this is where
all your power comes from.
480
00:18:26,627 --> 00:18:28,150
You play some ball
in high school?
481
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:30,326
I went to an all-girls school.
482
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:33,982
[inhales deeply]
The dream.
483
00:18:34,025 --> 00:18:35,375
What are we doing here?
484
00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:37,464
Don't question my process.
485
00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:40,206
I need you to pick a number
between 1 and 10.
486
00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:42,077
I don't know, 7?
487
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,600
- Mickey Mantle.
- [whirring]
488
00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:46,125
Don't get upset
if you don't make contact.
489
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:49,171
Got this pup dialed up
to about a 90.
490
00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:52,218
["March of the Toreadors" plays]
491
00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:54,437
[fence rattles]
492
00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:59,138
♪
493
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:00,400
[fence rattles]
494
00:19:00,443 --> 00:19:06,667
♪
495
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:09,191
You did it!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
496
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:11,541
Come to Mama!
497
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:13,239
[laughs]
498
00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:14,588
[moaning]
499
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:18,548
How did it feel
when you ripped the tits
500
00:19:18,592 --> 00:19:19,897
off that baseball?
501
00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:21,682
Is that a real baseball talk?
502
00:19:21,725 --> 00:19:24,119
Do you remember when I asked
you to pick a number?
503
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,686
Yeah. I picked 7.
504
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:27,818
Ha. The Mick.
505
00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:30,256
But it was also the number
of cruise missiles
506
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:32,388
launched from the USS Wendigo
507
00:19:32,432 --> 00:19:35,391
into an Iraqi village
at your command.
508
00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:37,393
- What?
- How does that feel?
509
00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:40,222
Knowing that you killed
all those people?
510
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:42,311
I actually don't feel anything.
511
00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:44,400
I didn't know you were
gonna do that.
512
00:19:44,444 --> 00:19:47,795
And you didn't know
Stan would throw Henderson
513
00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:49,057
off the plane.
514
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:51,799
Oh, my God.
You're right!
515
00:19:51,842 --> 00:19:53,757
None of this is my fault!
516
00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:56,586
Cathy, you are a-mah-zing.
517
00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:58,893
Please.
518
00:19:58,936 --> 00:20:01,939
Cathy was both my moms' names.
519
00:20:01,983 --> 00:20:03,158
Call me Coach.
520
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,420
No.
521
00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:06,814
I'm gonna call you
"friend."
522
00:20:06,857 --> 00:20:08,729
Whose muddy cleats
are on the porch?
523
00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,513
- They're Coach Cathy's!
- Uh-huh.
524
00:20:10,557 --> 00:20:13,690
Coach Cathy, Stan.
She cured me!
525
00:20:13,734 --> 00:20:15,388
Okay. What?
526
00:20:15,431 --> 00:20:17,607
Coach Cathy, silly.
527
00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:20,567
The CIA grief counselor
you sent.
528
00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:22,308
Coach Cathy?
529
00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:23,918
She totally cured me,
530
00:20:23,961 --> 00:20:28,488
and I hit
a 90 mile-an-hour fastball!
531
00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:32,883
Oh, good.
That sounds real.
532
00:20:32,927 --> 00:20:35,930
So do you feel like
it's in your best interest,
533
00:20:35,973 --> 00:20:39,977
mental-health-wise, to keep up
this relationship with Cathy?
534
00:20:40,021 --> 00:20:42,763
Coach Cathy? With Coach?
535
00:20:42,806 --> 00:20:45,287
I don't know what
I'd do without her.
536
00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:47,811
Well, we don't want
to find that out, so...
537
00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:50,161
welcome to our lives, Cathy.
538
00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:53,164
Quit shaking her boob, Stan.
539
00:20:53,208 --> 00:20:54,253
She likes girls.
540
00:20:54,296 --> 00:20:56,167
Who doesn't?
541
00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:58,169
Bye!
Have a beautiful time!
542
00:20:58,219 --> 00:21:02,769
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