Original subtitles

Foy?

Twa Sur Zhee Hey!

Thar boh banh.

Riley: What's that?

Zee yut rue.

Oh, you want to be disemboweled through the throat?

Foy?

Zee yut rue!

Sure.

Carol: Hi! Jesus.

You scared the shit out of me.

Hey. Watch the potty mouth, okay?

Especially in here.

Aren't you staying at a friend's?

I have first few periods free,

so I just came to get some stuff.

Well, someone's a bit unfriendly, isn't she?

Foy?

That means it's concerned.

Well, I need to get to school. Oh, I know.

My mind used to work like that, too.

"I need to get to school. I need to get married."

Just a prison of needs and people needing you.

And what about I need to be happy, you know?

To be curious.

Why are those lesser needs?

Uh...

Yeah, I don't know.

Did Dad talk to you about Reno?

Hey.

Do you want to, like, sit down and hang out for sec?

Hey, we could... we could watercolor.

Mom, what do you think about Reno?

Well...

Truthfully?

Jesus.

You can have it, if you want.

You from here?

I just got here.

This is the first time I've seen the ocean in real life.

Like, today?

Yeah.

It's funny. I thought it was gonna be this profound thing.

But...

it actually looks better on TV.

She's a beaut, huh?

Why is it a she?

I don't know.

'Cause she's kinda fun and sassy?

Oh, you like fun and sassy, huh?

Whooooo!

Whoo!

Scared? Oh, my God!

Whoooooo!

Didn't anyone ever tell you

not to get into cars with strange girls?

Oop!

Thank you so much.

Naomi: And it doesn't hurt at all?

Delilah: No. But you have to ask for laughing gas.

Arianna: I actually like oral pain.

You know, like, when something stings in your mouth

and it feels good. Ooh. Kinky.

Yeah, when I got mine out, yeah, it didn't hurt at all.

Hmm. Really? It doesn't hurt at all?

Hey. No. They put you under.

Oh, hey. You okay?

I just went to the beach.

For real? Yep.

Naomi: My mom's freaking out over this pre-party.

I'm just not looking forward to her losing it

with Cooper being there.

Arianna: Bitch, yes you are. Y'all both live for this drama.

Excuse me? I love fucking with my parents.

It's just...

Where's Chester?

Greta: With Bo maybe?

I keep texting him.

Yeah, I never see him.

He's all in on Bo right now,

trying to make up for the fake dating thing.

Are you okay? Yeah.

Yeah, um...

Yeah, my dad just stressed me out

late last night and I got jittery,

so I couldn't sleep, so I was just like,

"Fuck it, I'm gonna take pictures."

Me and Ana waited for you this morning.

Ah. I'm sorry.

I should've told you I was grabbing stuff from my house.

Sorry. N-No. It's fine.

It's just... we were worried about you,

just 'cause, I don't know, you seem a bit...

Fuck. I'm really sorry.

It's okay.

Thank you for worrying, though.

Is there any normal afterparties?

I cannot spend the night at Chelsea Mariano's

with no booze and 40 Taylor Swift sing-alongs.

What about my house?

My... My dad and Janelle are in Reno next week,

and my mom has started doing these sad...

"sleepovers" for divorced people.

So, I just have to get her out.

Yes.

Thank you. You're welcome.

-You really want to? -Why not?

Naomi: Okay, guys, my dad's here.

Say goodbye to my wisdoms.

Don't let the dentist molest you when you're under.

Unless he's hot!

Oh, my God, don't say that.

Sam: Doesn't it feel like we're in a bad cartoon

with that weird tuba soundtrack?

Sorry, what?

I said, doesn't it feel like you're in a bad cartoon

with that weird tuba soundtrack?

Oh, yeah.

Hi. Hi.

Where are you?

Oh, sorry, sorry. I just...

I didn't sleep a lot last night.

Why?

Oh, I'm doing a 24-hour photo project.

Oh, where you, uh... You take a photo every hour?

Mm-hmm.

On a school night?

Well, I-I couldn't sleep, so I was just like,

"Let me take advantage of my time."

Why couldn't you sleep?

Um, mind racing, you know?

You missed a test today.

Oh, shoot.

Um, I'm sorry.

I'll... I'll see if I can do a make-up.

With all the missed classes and tests and things,

I had to call your house.

Oh.

And I spoke to your mom? Mm-hmm.

And she said that you weren't staying at home a ton

because you were sleeping over at Greta's.

Also, is she Carol or Ginnie?

Uh, it's a whole thing.

Anyway, in guidance counselor school, they...

They teach you that this is kind of your basic

four-alarm red flag moment

and you better follow up, so I... I did.

But when I called Greta's mom, she referred me to Greta's aunt,

and she told me that it wasn't just a couple sleepovers.

Mm-hmm. It's more you're actually staying there.

Uh-huh.

Uh, wait, I should go to math because, um,

I don't want to be missing more class,

and I think there's a review.

Yes. Yes. But...

I'm just putting this together, you know,

and I'm thinking there...

There's something bigger going on here,

something that might not exactly be my place to talk about,

but which also might be exactly what I'm supposed to talk about.

Okay, hey, Sam?

I'm fine with you just signing the slip

and then leaving it at that, okay?

I-I-I-I want to go to math.

I don't want to miss more class.

Why would Ana tell Sam I was staying there?

Wait, what?

Why would she do that?

Uh, I honestly don't know what you're talking about.

Okay, you don't know how she... She ratted me out to Sam?

Okay, I don't know why you're coming for me right now.

I haven't talked to her since this morning,

when it was really annoying

you didn't bother to tell us to not wait for you.

So, whatever this is, I have no idea.

But I'm pretty sure she told you you could only stay with her

if everybody knew, so...

Okay, well, she could've asked me, uh,

before she told everybody about it.

Especially after I literally told her

how much everything sucks for me right now.

I-I told her all of that.

Sucks? Like, in what way, exactly?

In so many ways that you don't know about.

Yeah, no, I mean, like what?

Stuff I don't want to tell you.

Okay, so, more than your mom

taking away your pool house or whatever?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

I just don't get it. I just don't.

Like, my aunt gets you a job and she takes you in

out of the kindness of her heart,

and you get mad 'cause she won't lie for you?

Now you're freaking out at me

about nothing at all again.

'Cause I think I was pretty fucking cool

about that whole Luz thing.

Oh, yeah?

Do you?

Ana: I told you the rules. I'm not here to lie for anyone.

So, if you want to, go get emancipated

and pay rent and be my roommate.

Then you don't have to tell anyone shit.

Can you not just say you're sorry?

Like, can you not just say that?

"Sorry everything's so fucked up right now.

It's okay for you to just be here.

I'm not gonna kick you out."

I'm not kicking you out.

You're leaving.

Mi amor.

I think you're taking your anger out on the wrong person.

Thank you for having me.

Nathan: Of course. Come right in.

Can you take this? Okay.

The best part about tonight

is that you get to stay in my room

because my mom is secretly hoping we'll hook up.

So, uh, that'd be you sticking your tongue in my ear

and cumming in three seconds?

Mm. Yeah, probably.

But it'd be perfect you 'cause there'd be zero emotion.

I'd do anything to have zero emotion right now.

Megan: Oh, honey.

I spoke to your mom about you staying here.

She told me everything.

Come here.

Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm.

Mm.

Do you know where Chester is?

He's not responding to my texts.

I don't know.

I thought you guys were good.

Yeah, we're fine.

Okay.

That means not fine.

I don't know what to say.

I mean, like, he broke up with me,

but it was never real in the first place,

so I can't really be upset.

So, yeah, it's fine.

I'm really sleep deprived,

so reality's kinda far away right now, but...

...fake things can seem real.

Yeah, sometimes, I-I was just, like, in it with him,

and I was like, "Oh, this would be really nice,"

but... whatever.

Yeah.

Don't tell my mom. She doesn't know yet,

and she would just be so fucking happy and mean about it.

I hate mothers.

I hate them.

I'm never gonna become one.

Yeah, you'd be trash.

Naomi: Ohhh!

I don't have any fucking teeth, Dad!

They took out all my fucking teeth!

Oh, you took me to the dentist and he took out all my teeth,

mothersucker!

Is it okay to say that? Not really, no.

Ugh, fucking religion. You can't say anything.

Jesus. Help me.

By the way, this is a reason you should never do drugs.

Ugh. I like drugs!

Mom likes drugs. No, she does not.

Yes, she does.

She has so many pill bottles in her bathroom.

That's a different kind of drug. Come on, come on.

There is a tsunami coming and you need to pack right now.

You need to put everything you want in this suitcase,

right now.

Tonight? Yes.

But... Now.

Go, go, go!

Ohh! We gotta go!

Freakin' tsunami!

Riley: Just... Just... Just stay calm.

But... but... but... but... but fast.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You need to hurry a little bit.

You need to hurry. Hurry, hurry, hurry.

I'm trying! There's a tsunami coming!

You need that? Okay. I can't!

Also... Also...

Listen, the boat is only big enough for four people,

and so Jordan has to drown,

and you have to choose one other person

to drown with him, okay?

Wait, why me?

Because you're the most decisive.

Yeah. That's so true.

I am the most decisive. You are.

You really are. And... And...

And also, if you want to choose me, it's okay.

I-I won't be upset.

Mm. I think so?

No, I pick Natalia.

I pick Natalia.

You... You...

You... You want Natalia to... To drown with Jordan?

I think so?

I mean, she was such a fucking cunt at her wedding,

so yeah, Natalia has to go.

Wait, can I pick one

or can I pick one more to drown?

I'll never, ever be friends with Billie Eilish.

Wait, who are you?

It's Cooper.

You texted me to come.

Oh, did I sext you?

Did I send you outrageously inappropriate images of my body?

No. No. Here. Here.

I got you a Teddy bear and I got you some flowers.

This is so cute.

You know who would love this?

Delilah's baby.

You should go to the fire station

and leave this for Delilah's baby.

Naomi, what are you talking about?

We just had this whole thing where we, like,

convinced here that there was a tsunami.

No, you were there, Nathan.

Delilah had a baby in the mall bathroom,

and I was there with her, and I almost threw up, and only

'cause I had eaten a Hot Dog on a Stick, but I didn't.

Wait, hold on. Delilah's Panda Express Girl?

N-No.

Um...

Well, actually... Okay.

Ugh! Fuck! You just... You can't tell anybody.

Like... Like, you really can't. I won't say anything.

She would die if you knew.

I will not say anything, okay?

Oh, my God. What are you doing?!

The pain. I need another.

Or... did I just have one?

Megan: Riley?

Riley?

You want to grab some silver?

Oh, sure.

Oh, hey, would you, um, put this out?

We're have a special oriental stir fry.

Naomi: Dad! That is so racist!

No, it's not. It's the name of the dish.

Dad, Riley is part Asian. Yeah, eh, look.

It says "Oriental Stir Fry" right here on Epicurious.

You're not offended by that, are you?

Dad! I'm so sorry.

He's an old person.

I'm not old. Megan: Okay!

How about this?

Would you rather...

...be the first person to explore a planet

or be an inventor of a drug that cures a deadly disease?

Interesting. Nathan: Why do we have to do this?

Because Pastor Jeb suggested that, you know,

if we could enjoy each other as a family

and have conversations, you know, that...

I don't know, it might help us stay whole

and communicating and together.

Naomi: And not bisexual.

Megan: Alright, now.

Hey, there's booze in the pantry.

Oh, good.

-Naomi: Can I read one? -Megan: Okay.

Naomi: Would you rather have consistently satisfactory

but unexceptional sex with the love of your life,

"or multiple, profound orgasms with a complete stranger?"

Megan: Okay. I'll be in charge of the book from now...

No. Come on. Come on.

-Time for another question. -Okay.

Megan: So, planet or drug?

Mark: I think I'd go with, uh,

inventing the drug because it's more lucrative.

Mm. If people need something to live, you can make a killing.

Remember that, you guys.

Riley?

Naomi, you don't need to fold the napkins

into itty-bitty squares.

Naomi: Dad! Ugh!

You telling me how to fold is so patriarchy-y.

Women have been folding napkins for hundreds of years,

and what have the men been doing besides, like, making war

and burning villages and bad breath?

I asked you to fold the napkins because I'm cooking.

The man is cooking. Isn't that good?

Isn't that not being the patriarchy? Mark, don't be so argumentative

while she's recuperating.

So, Riley, are you going to Winter Formal with anyone?

Naomi: I'm going with Cooper. And Delilah.

So, how's that for the patriarchy, Mister Man?

Well, this is actually an amazing opportunity

to talk about relationships in general.

Because as you know, a relationship is between two people,

not three, not four... Mark: Can... Can we just stop?

And not have this conversation day and night? Mark, can I please finish my point?

Mark! Can we not censor each other? Please?

Did you guys talk to Patrick and Joe about threesomes?

Thank you, Naomi.

I'm just saying, you guys are obsessed

with your kids' sex lives... What?!

...when you're the ones with problems. Oh.

Yeah, you used to have sex so loudly and it was so gross.

Excuse me? But at least you were having it.

Honey, I think you're a little loopy.

Where are all the fucking purple dots?!

-Excuse me! Language! -Okay, and upstairs we go!

Fine! Good night!

Goodnight, honey. I hope you all have sex tonight!

-Okay. -And also, you know what?

Go to bed. I hope you don't!

-Okay. -Ugh.

Great. Riley?

Oh, um, I will probably just go alone to the Winter Formal.

We all know who Nathan's not going with.

Mark: Yeah, come on. Come on.

Who are you not going with?

N-N-Nobody.

Are you not going with...

He broke up with me, okay?

Oh.

Sweetie.

I am sorry.

I am so, so sorry.

No, you're not. You're literally not.

This is exactly what you wanted.

You're obviously happy about it.

Why would you say that?

Of course I'm not happy. Seeing you hurt?

I would never be happy about that.

Why? You thought I was going to hell.

What, aren't you happy that I'm not?

What kind of mother do you think I am?

I don't know. You can speak for yourself.

Okay.

You know what? I will.

Great. Great. Thank you very much.

You know what's so wonderful about being a mother?

Besides the fact that you're never right.

You're always wrong.

Is that you're just invisible,

except when you're choosing the wrong cereal

or you're not merrily congratulating your son

on every wrong choice he makes.

Then everybody sees you. Uh, I will be right back.

You're not gonna answer my question, then?

You want the truth?

Yes. Please.

I think you just want to be angry with me for no reason.

What are you talking about?!

You haven't given me a kind word or a kind look...

Cruel? That's not... Yes. Yes, it is.

Mark: That's actually not fair.

What? Are you defending him?

I do nothing but listen to him!

-You don't! -That's not true!

Megan: Riley?

Are you okay?

Um...

I don't know.

I don't know, actually.

When I talked to your mom,

she told me a little about what's going on,

about your dad moving to Reno with his girlfriend

and how he wants you to go with him.

Did she... Did she tell you that...

...it's because my dad doesn't think my mom

is able to take care of me right now?

Yes.

It's not true.

She wants me to go with him.

She wants me to go.

Sometimes...

I have this feeling like I'm looking at myself

from the outside in.

Do you ever have that feeling?

You know what it is?

Because everyone has anxiety.

You know?

But not everyone has it the same.

How about this one?

Would you rather be able to change the future

or the past, just by imagining it?

Hi. Sorry. I couldn't find my phone.

Oh, my gosh! Hi!

Hi.

Mm.

Hi.

Hi.

⇒ PeradoxSRJ