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KNOCKING ON DOOR
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Gently!
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Gently!
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This is the police.
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PHONE DIALS AND RINGS
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'Welcome to Paneljacks answering service.
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'Please choose from the following options.'
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Gently!
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'Could you repeat...'
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This is your final warning.
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Option two.
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If you do not open this door we will force an entry.
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'I'm sorry, I don't understand. Could you repeat?'
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OPTION.
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TWO!
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'Thank you. Putting you through, to option three.'
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Gaah!
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Go! Go! Go! Upstairs.
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Landing clear, sir.
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'Welcome to Paneljacks answering service.'
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Oh, just a small matter he might be able to help us with.
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Do you think he might be out with a client?
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It's unlikely, we haven't had any for months.
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Somebody broke our phones.
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You'll get your messages when I get paid.
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Sorry about that. Staff issues.
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That's perfectly fine.
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She works for Gently. She deserves a medal.
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Thank you!
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So, no current clients.
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You wouldn't happen to have a list of former clients by any chance?
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Yeah. We've... Um...
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I very much doubt he's out with any of these though.
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He owes most of them money.
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Even so. Probably get them checked out, you know.
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Cross the t's, dot the i's.
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Can I just ask what have they got to do with this?
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What's he done?
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Just tell him that two of his clients have been murdered
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and so far he's the only connection.
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So yes, we'd really like to talk to him.
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For his own protection, naturally.
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Goodbye, my dear.
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Bye.
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Macduff, I think I'm being framed for murder.
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He's still out there, Dirk.
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You need to talk to him, Dirk.
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Macduff. Wash your mouth out.
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Are we at death's door?
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We have no more ideas in our heads?
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'Notice of eviction'? That's a new one, isn't it?
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Yes it is. You'll have to create a whole new pile,
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right next to the final demands.
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- What are you looking for?
- My passport.
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I feel that the solution will found on the beach of other country,
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preferably one that has no extradition treaty.
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What? You're just going to go?
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It seems a sensible course of action.
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What about... the business?
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Macduff, I have taught you all I know about avoiding bills.
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It's time for my little bird to fly the nest.
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Fine. You know what, you go.
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I'm just the mug who though you might actually need me.
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Oh, Macduff.
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KNOCK ON DOOR
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What the hell is she doing here?
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Mr Gently?
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Er, yes. Please. This is my assistant Macduff.
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Partner.
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- Assistant Partner.
- I...
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Please.
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I tried ringing first, but it went into this sort of queuing system.
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Yes. We're very busy.
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So busy we don't even have time to tidy up.
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Wow. You must be incredibly busy.
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Yes indeed we are, Miss?
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Melinda. Melinda Fulstone.
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Melinda. Melinda Fulstone.
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Sorry. Your face really rings a bell. Have we met?
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Eh...
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No, I'm sure I would remember such a memorable event.
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Sorry. Could you, er...
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I am told I have... one of those faces.
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No. Can't place it.
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Macduff!
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Miss Fulstone, I am very eager to hear what brought you
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to our humble office this morning.
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I am unusual in that my mind works much better when in motion,
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blood pumping to the brain as it were.
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Perhaps you'd care to join us for a brisk stroll across our roof?
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What the hell. Why not?
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Great! Gilks!
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Why am I not surprised you've got an escape route?
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I find it prudent to plan for every eventuality. If you could...
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Open the door and point them to the pin board?
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It will be my pleasure.
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Gently!
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Somebody stalking you?
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Whatever leads you to this worrying conclusion?
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Little things, but it all adds up, mail going missing,
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I've got this motion sensing light thing, somebody broke it.
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Oh, I saw this man watching me with some binoculars.
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Maybe I should have started with that.
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Did you get a good look at his face?
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No. It's was dark and he ran off when I chased him but...
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To be honest I did run quite slowly.
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I didn't really want to catch him that much.
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That was lucky. For the stalker.
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The police say they won't do anything without more proof.
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I said, "What, my dead body?" but they just laughed.
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- I said, "I'm not joking."
- The police!
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They can be so heartless. Those bastards.
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My brain's working well, but to give your case the attention it deserves,
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what do you say we get the blood really pumping?
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- I'm game.
- Good.
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There they are!
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That was great! All meetings should be like that.
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We do it all the time.
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I've been cooped up at home for weeks you see.
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- I had a bit of a car crash, thing.
- I'm sorry to hear it.
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I've been trying to follow that idea
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of doing one thing every day that scares you.
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Well then you'll be pleased to hear that we normally
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round it off with a little high speed driving.
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Just to clear the pipes.
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Come on you beautiful bitch. Not you.
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Ah-ha!
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You must live a very exciting life, Mr Gently.
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It may seem that way, but it can be quite solitary sometimes.
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I was recently divorced myself.
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I'm sorry to hear it.
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Oh, don't be.
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When Roger ran off with the pool cleaner it was painful at first,
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but in time I came to see as a blessing in disguise.
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I was finally free to live the life I had denied myself.
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And I will live it.
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That is inspirational.
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I mean, of course there's always the worry that something about me
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put him off women for life.
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Ms Fulstone, the idea that you could ever put a man off
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intercourse with females is frankly ludicrous.
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That's very sweet of you to say.
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Mainly because sexual preference is now commonly held to be
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a genetic predisposition.
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The chances are he was never truly attracted to you in the first place.
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Or he could be bisexual.
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Well. You've certainly given me a lot to think about.
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Ms Fulstone,
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Ms Fulstone, I'm almost ashamed to mention this but
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regarding your case, there is the delicate issue of our fee.
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Oh, don't worry about that, it's Roger's money not mine.
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And the more of it he loses the better.
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Taxi! Ms Fulstone, I am supremely confident
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that we will be able to fit you into our very busy schedule.
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Hampstead.
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Well, that was quite a performance.
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So when are you planning on solving this one,
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before or after you flee the country?
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Ah. The murders. Yes. Well not to worry, Macduff.
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I am sure this case will be but a moment's work.
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So you're staying?
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I didn't say that but,
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I have confidence I can solve this case before my flight.
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Oh, really? You're an expert at catching stalkers now, are you?
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As a collective noun, not especially.
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But this particular stalker, I believe we may have more luck with.
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As it's actually me.
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It's what? What do you mean it's you?
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I mean that for the last month I have been secretly observing
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Ms Fulstone as part of a scientific experiment.
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You're the stalker?
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I prefer the term covert experimenter.
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One night I'm sure she saw my face,
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but luckily she doesn't seem to have recognised me.
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I assume she obtained my card from the window of her local newsagents,
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where I left it during a much needed
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refreshment break in my surveillance.
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Of course. I'm sure. It's thirsty work, stalking.
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Graphology, handwriting as an indicator of personality.
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You stalked her to see if her character matched her handwriting?
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And indeed it did. Her behaviour, her interests, all a perfect match.
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Ha-ha!
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I mean, most people would just go to a wine bar to meet a woman.
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- Or a nightclub.
- I am not, most people.
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Oh, I know that.
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I found your list, "handwriting traits for the perfect woman".
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I do have a very specific set of needs.
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Yeah. I see that. Gullibility, bad with finances?
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To be honest, it sounds more like the perfect mark for you to fleece.
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I will confess that when I first formulated this project
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I was a little more mercenary.
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- But now I've met Miss Fulstone in the flesh...
- You fancy her.
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She does has certain physical and facial characteristics
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that evolution has deemed to be more alluring to prospective mates, yes.
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Maybe don't say it exactly like that on a date.
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Hurry up, Macduff.
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How did you even find her? Her handwriting I mean.
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An old client owed me a favour.
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He leant me a pile of handwritten claim forms
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from his car insurance company. His ladies only insurance company.
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Clever. And very, very creepy.
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Come, Macduff. Once I'm safe on some beach in Puerto Rico,
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you can tell Ms Fulstone, without a word of a lie,
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that her stalker has left the country.
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OK, passport, passport, passport.
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Wow! The police really tore this place apart.
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I'm afraid not, Macduff.
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That minor disagreement with my cleaner has escalated somewhat.
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Er, look in the, er...
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Do you know how much smoother your life would run
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if you just paid people occasionally?
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Oh, Macduff, the situation has gone way beyond mere money.
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I haven't paid her for a year.
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Most people would have quit by now. But not Elena. Oh, no.
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She's Eastern European. Hardy.
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Probably distantly related to the Borgias.
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She continues to come here for two hours every day,
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stubbornly avoiding doing anything resembling actual cleaning.
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In retaliation, I have, of course, become messier and messier.
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It's like a surreal horror movie for OCD sufferers.
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With Elena as the vampiric witch of the piece.
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But she's got a heart of gold really. Salt of the Earth.
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Lovely woman.
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Oh, hello.
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Recently things have taken a much darker turn.
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Every day she places that rug in that exact position.
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It is a warning, Macduff.
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Plainly, yeah. It's terrifying.
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Pick it up.
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Oh, that is dark. She sawed a hole in your floor?
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No. The hole was there already.
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It was a memento of my previous dispute with that plumber,
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if you remember.
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Are you sensing a theme here, Dirk?
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Oh. I was sure it was around here somewhere.
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KNOCK ON DOOR
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Detective Inspector Gilks.
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And you found my passport.
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I am so glad you've decided to forgo legal representation.
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It makes things so much simpler.
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On the contrary. I'm representing myself.
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As I said. Simple.
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So. Two, dead, people. Do you recognise them?
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I've been advised by my legal counsel to neither confirm
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nor deny anything.
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But you're your own legal...
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Look, there is no need to confirm.
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We know they were your clients.
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Now, apparently, they died of a heart attack.
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Aged 27 and 48.
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It happens, but not very often. Coroner got suspicious.
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Dug a little deeper, found a very rare toxin in their bloodstream.
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They were murdered.
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And you think that I, my client, murdered them?
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No, of course not.
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- What possible motive could... What?
- We don't think you did it.
257
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:44,160
But you broke down my door!
258
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,960
We thought you were in danger. Possibly already dead.
259
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,200
You chased me across a roof.
260
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,560
We were trying to protect you. Gently, you are many things.
261
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:53,640
Many annoying, incompetent things, but you are not a killer.
262
00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:55,320
At least not intentionally.
263
00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:58,440
I am sure your blithering ineptitude will kill someone one day.
264
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,480
But, you know, not with this level of skill.
265
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,320
This is the work of a professional.
266
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:07,880
My client informs me that he could have killed them if he'd wanted to.
267
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:11,120
Would you kindly advise your client to stop incriminating himself.
268
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,600
My client resents the slanderous implication that
269
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:17,560
he's so incompetent that he couldn't commit a couple of simple murders.
270
00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:20,920
God, you really don't make it easy to help you, do you?
271
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,920
OK, fine. Fine.
272
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:33,880
I am sure that you are perfectly capable of killing anyone you like.
273
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,400
How's that? Now, can we just move on?
274
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,040
My client concurs.
275
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:42,200
Think. Think about it, Gently.
276
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,440
What this does sounds like, eh?
277
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,600
The poison,
278
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,520
the spotless crime scene...
279
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,880
A ghost hit.
280
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:56,720
My client wishes me to pass on his scathing laughter and scorn.
281
00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:00,560
Fine. But somebody did it.
282
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:03,440
Somebody is killing your old clients.
283
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:07,680
It may end here. It may not.
284
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,880
We're guarding all of those that we can find but I strongly recommend
285
00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:13,880
that you accept police protection for the time being.
286
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,240
- For your own safety.
- But you can't force me.
287
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,600
Well, no. If you don't accept it, you're a fool.
288
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,640
- But that's never stopped you before.
- Then I think I'll be on my way.
289
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:28,280
Look, is there anyone you can think of,
290
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:31,120
anyone with a big enough grudge to want to do this?
291
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,720
The biggest thorn in my side is in this room.
292
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,840
So unless there's something you'd like to confess...
293
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:40,160
You're right, Gently. Your biggest problem is in this room.
294
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:41,600
But it isn't me.
295
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,880
Ohhh.
296
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:45,840
Ohhh.
297
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,400
A ghost is a kind of exclusive hit man.
298
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,440
Traditionally only used by mob bosses.
299
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:53,000
The idea is, you simply supply the name of the target.
300
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,040
You never meet the killer, they never meet you.
301
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:56,640
Money disappears from your bank account
302
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,160
and the target winds up dead.
303
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:01,080
Supposedly from natural causes in a spotless crime scene.
304
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,080
Only no-one's ever been able to prove they exist.
305
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,640
- Mainly because it's total rubbish.
- Are you
- OK? What? No. Fine!
306
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,480
I'm fine. Someone's killing my old clients, maybe saving me till last,
307
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,760
- but it's just another case to solve isn't it?
- OK, OK.
308
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,120
Why don't you stop for a breath
309
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,400
- and let's go find somewhere and sit down?
- What? No. No.
310
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,280
I'm taking the case, which means I'm suddenly my own client
311
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:20,280
and therefore much more of a target.
312
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,240
Well, I don't think the killer would know.
313
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:24,880
Unless he's telepathic.
314
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,840
Maybe he is.
315
00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:34,040
LOUD MUSIC BLASTS
316
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:43,840
I'm guessing hired muscle, probably an east London gang.
317
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,320
You pay cleaner.
318
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,560
Or, they're from my cleaner.
319
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,920
This is about the cleaner?
320
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,360
Thank god. I thought they were going to kill us.
321
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,840
She's certainly raising her game. Bravo.
322
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:58,360
It's fine. It's fine. He's going to pay her. Won't you?
323
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,440
You can tell my so-called cleaner...
324
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:03,120
Ahh!
325
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,880
In one day. You pay.
326
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,280
Otherwise.
327
00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:13,400
THEY YELL
328
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:19,920
Security number two-three-nine. No. OK. Yep. Thank you.
329
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,560
I have paid my cleaner.
330
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,360
I've paid your cleaner.
331
00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:25,920
Mere semantics, Macduff.
332
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:29,280
I always wondered what it'd take to get you to pay for something.
333
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,760
I guess I now know, broken fingers and death threats from mobsters.
334
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:36,000
- They sound like my kind of people.
- Thank you, Janice.
335
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,840
Is this a different Notice of Eviction from the first one?
336
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,360
Oh, yeah. Just a clerical error.
337
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:42,840
Nothing to worry about.
338
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,480
HE MOANS IN PAIN
339
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,400
HE CONTINUES MOANING AND TYPING
340
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:57,840
What are you doing now?
341
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,480
I'm trying to find a new cleaner You've seen my place. It's a tip.
342
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:04,640
People are dying. Maybe we should sort out that little problem first.
343
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:08,040
When a man looses sight of his carpet, then he is no longer a man.
344
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,520
Besides, I'm sure you'll find that all these little problems
345
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:14,320
will prove to be interconnected in ways that you can't possibly...
346
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,520
No. No, sorry.
347
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,240
I'm not going to let you get away with that.
348
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,800
I'm not going to let you get away with pulling your same old tricks
349
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,760
of doing whatever the hell you want
350
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,560
and just hoping that all the dots connect together at the end.
351
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,120
They usually do.
352
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:30,520
That's not the point, Dirk. There's too much at stake.
353
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,960
You faffing around now could get people killed.
354
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,440
How dare you! I do not faff.
355
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:41,120
Besides what happened to, "Don't leave me, Dirk, I might get lonely?"
356
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,640
I never said that...
357
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,280
Exactly.
358
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,480
And even if I did, that was before I found out about
359
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,720
Dirk the stalker and got mugged by gangsters.
360
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:59,120
Can we please, just for once, act like regular detectives?
361
00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:02,520
And if you need to justify that to yourself, just look at me now,
362
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,880
here, in this moment, getting angry as just another little
363
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:10,400
part of the whole web of interconnected cause and effect.
364
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,960
That actually makes sense.
365
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:17,680
Really?
366
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:18,800
Really.
367
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,720
OK.
368
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,120
All right. So...
369
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:29,440
What have we got? Who do you think could be doing this?
370
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,880
You framed anyone for murder recently?
371
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:35,680
The only murderer I've framed...
372
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,160
Is in prison.
373
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,680
Wait. What? Sorry, you've actually done that?
374
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,640
At least he was. Until two months ago.
375
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,200
Robbie Glover.
376
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,840
Ten years ago he was the prime suspect in one of my first cases.
377
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:03,520
It was a penny ante case of office supply theft in an insurance firm.
378
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,760
Plenty of suspects, no evidence.
379
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,040
Which was odd, because there were cameras everywhere.
380
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,800
But the post-it notes kept disappearing.
381
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,440
And then I realised that the answer was staring me in the face.
382
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,560
Who watches the watchmen?
383
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:24,920
The sweaty, twitchy watchmen.
384
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,760
I was convinced that I had my man.
385
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:32,440
So much so that I saw the lack of evidence as no obstacle at all.
386
00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:35,760
It was an early prototype of my
387
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:38,960
fundamental interconnectedness of all things theory.
388
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,720
The whoever you frame will turn out to be guilty theory?
389
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,200
Yes. Pretty much. But it turned out he was utterly innocent.
390
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,560
No-one had stolen anything.
391
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,720
Someone had put a decimal point in the wrong place.
392
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:52,400
So they thought they should have had 20,000 post-it notes rather than 20.
393
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,000
You said you framed him for murder.
394
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,400
Oh, well the decimal point thing was only discovered later.
395
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,960
By then the police had searched his flat
396
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:03,400
and they discovered his brother's body buried in the chest freezer.
397
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:06,680
Ah.
398
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,360
So technically I framed him for post-it note theft,
399
00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:11,640
which lead to the discovery of a murder.
400
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:15,160
But it wasn't a distinction he seemed to care about at the time.
401
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:18,040
- Dirk?
- I vividly remember his threats toward me from the dock.
402
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:19,560
Very colourful.
403
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:21,680
Very specific about certain body parts being
404
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,920
inserted inside other body parts.
405
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,880
Dirk? I can't see him.
406
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:42,760
Oh, no. He's over there.
407
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,120
Oh, yeah. Come on then.
408
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,640
- What did he buy?
- Huh?
409
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:06,320
- What did he buy?
- Syringes.
410
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:09,000
Really? You could inject poison with syringes.
411
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,280
Wow. Your mind is like a machine.
412
00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,440
Or, he could just be diabetic.
413
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,080
- Oh, and he bought bleach.
- Bleach.
414
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:18,720
Enemy of DNA. The killer's best friend.
415
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,720
Or, could have mouldy shower curtains.
416
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:21,920
Ah-ha!
417
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:59,760
OK. I will admit, taken out of context, it doesn't look good.
418
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:02,480
On the contrary. It looks very good. I think we've found our man.
419
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,280
I can't think of many uses for those items,
420
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:06,720
that don't involve a dead body and a shallow grave.
421
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,080
Would you like a closer look?
422
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:17,920
I've seen you.
423
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:25,600
Hello. We're fine. We're just...
424
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,040
Dogging.
425
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,600
Don't you need a car to go dogging?
426
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,560
Yes. Saving up for one. In the meantime we just...
427
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:36,240
Use the bush.
428
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,640
What about Mr Gently there? Is he dogging too?
429
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:44,920
Mr Glover. How nice to see you.
430
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:46,280
Dirk Gently.
431
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,520
You seem very interested in the contents of my boot.
432
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:53,600
No. No, no. I'm sure you have perfectly reasonable explanations
433
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,680
for all of those totally innocent items.
434
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:58,160
Leaping to conclusions again?
435
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:02,160
Cos we all know where that lead to last time, don't we?
436
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,440
Would you like to see what they're all for?
437
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:07,400
- Not really.
- I insist.
438
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:37,640
We call ourselves From Jail To Jesus.
439
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,280
We're all ex-cons.
440
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:42,400
Now we're all saved.
441
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:43,880
Praise the Lord.
442
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:46,120
ALL: Praise the Lord.
443
00:24:46,120 --> 00:24:48,400
We were given this hall on the condition we fixed it up.
444
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,120
So we are.
445
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,840
Good, well, that's very commendable.
446
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,160
Um...
447
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,480
Thank you so much for showing us around.
448
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,440
So what would you say was your favourite book of the Bible?
449
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,240
Oh, God.
450
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,240
Sounds like a test, Mr Gently?
451
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,280
Would it be a problem if it was?
452
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,080
Do you have faith? Do you believe in anything?
453
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:21,120
Yeah, I believe in things.
454
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:24,240
Yeah, I believe in...
455
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:28,080
The laws of physics, most of the time.
456
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:31,160
I believe that everyone and everything is interconnected
457
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,920
in a way that isn't always immediately apparent.
458
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:36,840
And I also believe
459
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:38,920
that one day
460
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:43,280
we will all be brought to account.
461
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:47,760
A reckoning that I have tried to avoid my whole life.
462
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:50,880
Because I know
463
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:52,320
I will be found wanting
464
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:57,200
when I finally meet...
465
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:03,800
..the Inland Revenue.
466
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:04,960
HE LAUGHS
467
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,160
I pity you.
468
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:17,200
With no spiritual dimension to your life,
469
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,680
you're barely half a man.
470
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:23,560
Really? Well, at least I didn't murder anybody.
471
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,240
Has God forgiven you for that? What are you going to do?
472
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:28,760
Would you...? Are you going to...?
473
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,480
Are you going to do it again then ask him to forgive you again?
474
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,240
That'd be handy. Is that what you do?
475
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,920
You seem to be fishing, Mr Gently.
476
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:39,400
Are you saying there's nothing to catch...
477
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,320
in this river?
478
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:44,640
I'm saying your waders...
479
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:46,560
have got a hole in them.
480
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,640
Well...
481
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:50,880
I'm very adept...
482
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:54,320
with a puncture repair kit.
483
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:55,400
What?
484
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,160
- To repair....
- Listen to me!
485
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,640
Listen, listen.
486
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:03,680
I have tried very, very hard,
487
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:08,520
with Jesus at my side, to forgive you for what you did
488
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:11,800
and it saddens me to tell you that I have failed,
489
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:14,360
because I still hate you,
490
00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:16,480
I hate you!
491
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:20,160
And even though it would mean my soul,
492
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:24,000
if someone gave me a button to push
493
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,720
that would end you, I would gladly push it.
494
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:32,920
Get off me.
495
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:37,320
Shhh...
496
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:45,880
Have a good night.
497
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:52,080
- Right, we have to tell the police.
- Tell them what?
498
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:54,640
He's a killer. You think he's a killer? He feels like a killer.
499
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,760
Agreed. Let's look in his car.
500
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:57,920
Right. No!
501
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:01,000
Maybe don't break into the car of a probable mass murderer, Dirk!
502
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,840
- Relax. I don't think this is our man.
- What? Why?
503
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,360
This is not the car of a man who leaves a spotless crime scene.
504
00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:12,680
Check out the loop on his Js.
505
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:17,200
Oh, well, why didn't you say? Loops on his Js. Of course he's innocent.
506
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,480
My recent experiments in this field have proven...
507
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,000
Dirk, call the police. We should not be doing this.
508
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,120
There is nothing to tell the police. This evidence...
509
00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:26,160
This isn't evidence! This is nonsense.
510
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,760
I mean, why don't we be totally certain? Take him on as a client,
511
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:31,240
see if he tries to kill himself, while we're being all logical.
512
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:33,640
- We might have to. We haven't got any other clients.
- Yes, we do!
513
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,400
We've got the woman from this morning. The one you're stalking.
514
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,520
With a client killer on the loose.
515
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,120
But he's in the church hall.
516
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:44,480
But what if it's not him?
517
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:50,800
- Option two. OPTION TWO.
- What are you doing?
518
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,120
I'm calling the office to get Janice to get us the address.
519
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:55,600
I've been stalking her for a month. I know the way there.
520
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:57,800
Doesn't matter. I got put through to a Chinese anyway.
521
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,440
Ah!
522
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,360
I was wondering how long it'd take you to remember your latest client.
523
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,160
How... did you... know... about her?
524
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:18,480
I'm a detective, Gently. You should try it.
525
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,400
Is that you, Mr Gently?
526
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,160
Do come in.
527
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:30,400
Ms Fulstone was just telling me about her stalker.
528
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:33,760
It seems quite probable that there is a connection with
529
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:35,480
the killing of your clients.
530
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,320
- Oh, I strongly doubt that.
- Really? I'd love to know why.
531
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,480
Sorry. That's mine. I'm such a scatterbrain.
532
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:41,760
Always losing my purse.
533
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:44,480
Is that right? That must be quite costly.
534
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:46,000
Oh, it's only money.
535
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,160
There are far more important things in life, I always say.
536
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,440
Gently? I believe you were about to enlighten us.
537
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaking of which, I seem to find myself temporarily short of funds.
538
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,280
I wonder if you could possibly lend me £10?
539
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,160
The £20 is fine.
540
00:29:58,160 --> 00:29:59,560
Keep it. As a gift.
541
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:02,080
Gently? I believe you were about to enlighten us.
542
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:04,680
Why isn't this stalker connected with the killings?
543
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:06,680
Well, it's fairly straightforward really.
544
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,920
If you look at the case from all angles, and I do mean all...
545
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:12,600
Ms Fulstone only became our client because of the stalker.
546
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:13,880
Yeah! What he said.
547
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,120
So, if I might be so bold,
548
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:19,160
do you have any plans for this coming Friday night?
549
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:20,760
- I'd love to.
- Good.
550
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:24,600
All the same, regarding this stalker, I'm a firm believer
551
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,240
in the fundamental interconnectedness of all things.
552
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,000
Wouldn't you agree, Mr Gently?
553
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,320
Yes, I have heard it said.
554
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:34,600
Or as I like to put it, there's no smoke without fire.
555
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:37,400
So he was in the garden you say?
556
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:38,880
Yes.
557
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:45,520
Why are we still here?
558
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,720
Because we're looking for the mystery stalker.
559
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,600
- You're the stalker.
- I know!
560
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:53,280
Ah, yes, it's been messed with, hasn't it?
561
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:56,000
Melinda's in danger and he's wasting his time with this nonsense.
562
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,240
If only we had a real suspect we could tell him about.
563
00:30:58,240 --> 00:30:59,920
Hmm? Dirk?
564
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,920
Yeah, I think somebody picked this lock.
565
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:05,320
Really?
566
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,120
You actually came, the stalker actually came inside the house?
567
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:09,680
It's more than likely, yes.
568
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:12,320
How horrible!
569
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:14,200
We can't possibly guess at his motives.
570
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:15,400
They might be quite innocent.
571
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,720
Is there anything missing from this room? From this house?
572
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:20,440
Just a minute.
573
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,640
I keep my receipts in a folder here.
574
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:25,960
Ah! They've gone.
575
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:29,120
I'll call a team out. We'll dust for prints immediately.
576
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,720
Well, I'm sure the stalker was wearing gloves.
577
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,160
He'd have been pretty stupid not to, wouldn't he?
578
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,040
Gently. What are you doing?
579
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:41,640
Just checking for evidence.
580
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,240
Just stop it! Step away from the sideboard.
581
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:45,520
I was just being thorough.
582
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,840
You were contaminating my crime scene.
583
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,960
And you are wasting time.
584
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,120
The real killer is out there somewhere,
585
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:55,640
possibly planning to kill Ms Fulstone as we speak,
586
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:58,120
and you're piddling around with this stalker nonsense.
587
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,440
It's not nonsense. The killer was in this very room.
588
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,080
No, he wasn't! Because they're two different people!
589
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:04,920
How can you possibly know that?
590
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:08,120
Because I AM THE STALKER!
591
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:15,400
Now we've got that settled, I hope we can put this stalker nonsense
592
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:19,240
behind us and concentrate on catching the real killer.
593
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:25,160
And I sincerely hope this won't cast a cloud over our date on Friday.
594
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:45,000
Macduff, where the hell have you been?
595
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,600
I'm going out of my mind in here.
596
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:48,920
I've made a list of things I need.
597
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:56,200
I've written toilet tissue twice because it's very important.
598
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,280
The stuff they have here is like tracing paper.
599
00:32:58,280 --> 00:32:59,480
Are you going to ask how I am?
600
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:01,800
Whatever's happened to you can't possibly compare to the
601
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,440
seven hells I've been subjected to.
602
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:07,320
Two hours of Gilks, prodding and probing and accusing.
603
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,040
Did you do the stalking together?
604
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,720
Have you ever stalked anyone else?
605
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:17,200
And then I found out that another client has been murdered.
606
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:20,560
Yeah, Mr Forrester.
607
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,080
Weren't the police protecting him?
608
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,560
Well, apparently, a policeman sleeping in a car outside
609
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:26,680
isn't as much of a deterrent as we'd hoped.
610
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:28,320
Is Melinda OK?
611
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,000
She's fine.
612
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,240
They've moved all the other clients to a safe house. Including her.
613
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,760
So that's what... three people dead now?
614
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:44,800
You should know I told them about Robbie. They're bringing him in.
615
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:48,800
And you know what?
616
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:52,280
I really hope for your sake that he isn't the killer.
617
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:56,680
Because if he is, and you've kept his name from the police,
618
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,040
then this last one's on you, Dirk.
619
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:02,400
And it's on me too, for listening to your crap.
620
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:16,640
You're free to go.
621
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:19,280
- Is this a trick?
- Oh, I wish it was, no.
622
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:22,560
No, Ms Fulstone has agreed to drop all charges.
623
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:25,760
I don't know what your Mr Macduff said to her
624
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:27,560
but it must have been very persuasive.
625
00:34:30,720 --> 00:34:35,480
Now, most people, they don't get a second chance like this, Gently.
626
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:39,200
I implore you, please...
627
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,040
Mess it up.
628
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:44,040
I shall endeavour, to disappoint you.
629
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:11,120
Tosser!
630
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:22,480
I understand I have you to thank for talking to Melinda.
631
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:23,960
What exactly did you tell her?
632
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:25,160
The truth.
633
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,920
I know. And she believed me.
634
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:32,200
In a way, I think she was weirdly flattered.
635
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,240
Well. Thank you anyway.
636
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:41,560
Your new cleaner. If you want her.
637
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:43,400
Ah, excellent. When can she start?
638
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:44,520
I don't know.
639
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:46,880
She seems very keen but her English isn't very good.
640
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,520
When I came in Janice was trying to translate on the net.
641
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:51,040
That doesn't sound like Janice.
642
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:54,360
I was trying to find the Polish for skinflint tosser.
643
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,440
You go here? Da? Yeah?
644
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:58,880
You clean? You clean?
645
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,240
You clean? Da?
646
00:36:01,240 --> 00:36:03,120
"Yes" is "tak" in Polish.
647
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,480
MIMICS VACUUM CLEANING
648
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:09,880
OK? And then you...
649
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,840
Hospital corners. Yes? Tak?
650
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,880
Hospital corners? Tak?
651
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:22,240
Thank you. Adios.
652
00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:23,400
A convincing performance
653
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:25,640
considering you've never cleaned anything in your life.
654
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,400
I find it useful to know your enemy.
655
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:31,040
I think you should know, Macduff
656
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,520
I've decided to overlook your behaviour at the police station.
657
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:36,160
- My behaviour?
- It's all right, Macduff. We'll say no more about it.
658
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,960
No. I think we will. I'm not going to just sit here and let you...
659
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:40,720
PHONE RINGS
660
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:42,800
Dirk Gently.
661
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,080
Thank you.
662
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:52,000
That was a friendly cleaner down at the police station,
663
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,080
who I've bribed to keep me posted.
664
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:55,880
- Bribed?
- Promised to bribe.
665
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,240
They're going releasing Robbie in half an hour
666
00:36:58,240 --> 00:36:59,680
due to lack of evidence.
667
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:03,680
- What?
- I said he's not the killer. I've been saying it all along.
668
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,240
And now the police agree with me.
669
00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:08,520
They've searched his house from top to bottom.
670
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:11,200
Really? Yeah?
671
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:12,640
Have they searched this?
672
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,200
What's this?
673
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,120
A receipt for a storage unit he rents.
674
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,640
It was in the papers you stole from his car, remember?
675
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:20,960
Oh, let it go, Macduff. He's not the killer.
676
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:22,960
Because of an untidy car and a loop on his J.
677
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,760
Yeah, and there was a time when that would have been enough for you.
678
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:27,680
Maybe I've grown up a little bit, Dirk.
679
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:31,320
Maybe I see through you.
680
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:34,040
I am getting a little tired of covering for you.
681
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:36,720
Paying bills for you and getting arrested for you.
682
00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:39,400
Well...
683
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,320
I can assure you it's all very much appreciated.
684
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:43,720
It's not though, is it?
685
00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:46,280
Really, it's not.
686
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:50,000
Words like "appreciated", "thank you..."
687
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,040
are just like tricks to you.
688
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:55,080
You wheel them out when you need to, but you don't really mean them.
689
00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:59,600
Not really. It's just grease to keep things moving along.
690
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:03,880
And you know what, when it was just me getting dumped on, that's....
691
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:07,480
I can handle that. But someone is killing our clients, Dirk.
692
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:09,720
People are dying.
693
00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:14,000
And you're still just doing the same little dance you've always done.
694
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:18,640
And you know what? I don't want to watch it anymore.
695
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:25,920
I'm sorry you feel that way.
696
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:30,960
That was quite a speech.
697
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:35,720
I don't suppose it would hurt to have a little look around.
698
00:38:35,720 --> 00:38:37,280
If you don't, I will.
699
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,320
I thought you'd had enough.
700
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:41,720
Of this... absolutely.
701
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:44,840
But I'm going to see this through.
702
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:48,280
Right, well, I can search the unit,
703
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,520
you can keep an eye on Robbie. OK.
704
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:54,400
But, Dirk, when this is over,
705
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:58,320
I'm done.
706
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:05,200
PHONE RINGS
707
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:08,320
Is he moving?
708
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:12,040
No. But I think I know why he needed those syringes though.
709
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,760
Handing them out to drug addicts.
710
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,360
It's a clean syringe programme thing. Any luck your end?
711
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:19,600
'No.'
712
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,640
Oh, no, wait, there's a big sign here, it says,
713
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,880
"Told you so, Macduff."
714
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:25,960
Oh, that's funny.
715
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:28,520
There's a sign right here that says you're walking home.
716
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:30,520
Oh, don't be a baby. Macduff?
717
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:50,680
Tell me you're on the way.
718
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:53,000
I stopped to fill up but I'm nearly there.
719
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,360
You were right.
720
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,400
What? What have you found?
721
00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:58,160
Where's Robbie?
722
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:00,000
I don't know? I stopped following him.
723
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,600
You said it was a dead end. Dirk, what are you...
724
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,440
What's happening?
725
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,520
I'm not going back to jail.
726
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:14,720
I. AM. NOT. GOING. BACK.
727
00:42:14,720 --> 00:42:17,480
I'm never going back to jail.
728
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:43,360
Are you OK? Dirk?
729
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:57,480
Come on.
730
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:17,640
Having a bit of a clear out?
731
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:24,720
No, this is a feng shui approach I'm trialling, clear office, clear mind.
732
00:43:24,720 --> 00:43:29,120
Clear bank account? Clients can be so skittish, can't they?
733
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:32,160
Avoiding you just because of a few pesky murders.
734
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:37,840
You seem a little short handed today. Where is Mr Macduff?
735
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:40,760
He's taking some... personal days.
736
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:43,200
- He'll be back.
- Oh, oh, I see.
737
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:46,240
So, you'll be glad to hear that Robert Glover has been
738
00:43:46,240 --> 00:43:48,480
officially charged with the murders.
739
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:53,040
The poison found in his syringes matched that used in the killings.
740
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:57,280
Oh, and he had a notebook detailing everything he'd like to do to you,
741
00:43:57,280 --> 00:44:02,120
if he ever got you alone, but then we've all got those.
742
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:27,560
Gilks,
743
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:32,600
if I'd told you about Robbie, earlier, would it have helped?
744
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:35,400
Do you mean, would more people have lived?
745
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:36,960
Probably, yes.
746
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:40,600
Goodbye, Gently.
747
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:41,800
Goodbye, Gilks.
748
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:04,280
Hello, Dirk.
749
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:09,960
Are you OK?
750
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:21,280
I started writing you a note but that's the coward's way out.
751
00:45:26,720 --> 00:45:30,280
It's Roger. He came round last night.
752
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:34,080
Federico has thrown him out for looking at other women.
753
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:38,000
So obviously that changes things a little.
754
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:40,200
I know you'll think I'm weak
755
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:43,200
but I've decided to give him another chance.
756
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:44,440
He's says that he might...
757
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:47,200
- That's not your handwriting.
- What do you mean? Yes it is.
758
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:50,000
- Did you hear what I said about Roger?
- Yes, yes, Roger's straight again.
759
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:53,560
But this isn't the handwriting you used on your car insurance form.
760
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:56,400
How did you see my car insurance form?
761
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:57,680
Part of my stalking
762
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:00,520
for which I believe I've already been forgiven.
763
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:02,720
I broke my wrist in the crash.
764
00:46:02,720 --> 00:46:04,920
It's only just now really back to normal.
765
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:07,120
So Marta has been doing all my paperwork.
766
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:17,080
Did Macduff not explain about my handwriting experiment?
767
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:20,360
Oh, that. I'm afraid I didn't listen to all of it.
768
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:22,960
Roger was always the brain box of the two of us.
769
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:25,600
I'm not really a big fan of ideas.
770
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,240
I've been watching the wrong woman.
771
00:46:29,240 --> 00:46:30,760
I'm sorry, I don't understand.
772
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:33,560
Tell me, your cleaner, does she have a trusting nature?
773
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:34,760
Not at all.
774
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:37,640
She phoned the police the last time the gas man came round.
775
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:39,840
And is she bad with money?
776
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:44,120
Lord, no. She saves up every penny to send back home.
777
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:45,640
So much for handwriting.
778
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:47,480
Melinda, thank you for being so honest.
779
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:49,680
It's a terrible blow but what can you do? C'est la vie.
780
00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:51,480
I wish you all the luck in the world with Roger.
781
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:52,880
I'll see myself out.
782
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:13,960
Macduff! What are doing here?
783
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:15,160
You called me.
784
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:16,480
I did? I did!
785
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:19,440
You said it was a matter of life or death.
786
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:20,840
Quite possibly. Yes.
787
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,760
You said you were going on a dream quest and you'd overdosed on LSD.
788
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:25,040
Those were both very good ideas
789
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:26,640
but I've had some new ones since then.
790
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:34,880
I take it the new cleaner's working out?
791
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:36,800
Oh, yes. Incredibly keen. Wonderful woman.
792
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:38,800
Working her way through the flat.
793
00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:40,480
Building up courage to tackle the bedroom.
794
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,160
I thought this case was closed?
795
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:46,880
Well, from a strictly Newtonian view of the universe, yes.
796
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:48,920
But from a quantum perspective, possibly not.
797
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:52,240
Wow. You really are desperate for work aren't you?.
798
00:47:52,240 --> 00:47:53,600
Trying to unsolve a case.
799
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:55,160
There's something in my subconscious
800
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:56,880
that will not let this case rest.
801
00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:59,360
An etheric stone in the shoe of my ego.
802
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:03,000
A repressed hangnail on the finger of my...
803
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:04,040
OK.
804
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:06,960
Well, I wish you all the best of luck with that, Dirk.
805
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:08,040
I'll see you around.
806
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:10,600
What? You can't leave. I need you, Macduff.
807
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:14,720
You need me?
808
00:48:14,720 --> 00:48:16,200
No.
809
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:17,360
That is to say,
810
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:20,400
you are the grit around which the pearl of truth often forms.
811
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,680
Your plain speaking everyman perspective
812
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:24,200
is a useful counterpoint.
813
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:25,680
No, no, don't ruin it.
814
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:27,800
And you're a very good sounding board
815
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:29,480
for my more outlandish theories.
816
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:31,760
You mean, you think better when you're showing off.
817
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:35,520
There you go. Cutting straight to the heart of the matter.
818
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:39,720
OK.
819
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:42,880
OK. I'll stay.
820
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:46,960
Just so we're clear, this doesn't mean I'm coming back.
821
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:50,200
I'll just grant you this favour. A one time deal.
822
00:48:50,200 --> 00:48:51,840
Fair enough.
823
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:55,040
So what have we got so far?
824
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:57,080
I don't believe that Robbie is the killer.
825
00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:59,200
You just won't let that go, will you?
826
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:02,400
The events that lead us to uncover his guilt felt a little too direct.
827
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:06,720
My methods usually necessitate, no, demand more circuitous routes.
828
00:49:06,720 --> 00:49:11,080
Involving the sudden convergence of seemingly disparate threads.
829
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:13,080
So you think Robbie isn't the killer
830
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:16,160
because we easily found evidence to suggest he is the killer.
831
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:17,200
Exactly!
832
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:19,960
And what about the small matter of him trying to strangle you?
833
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:21,800
Yes, I admit that in the heat of the moment,
834
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:23,160
he did try to brutally murder me.
835
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:24,840
But what if he attacked me
836
00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:26,760
not because I'd found his wall of evidence,
837
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:29,320
but because he'd never seen it before
838
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:32,600
and he assumed that I'd planted it.
839
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,480
I know, I know.
840
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:40,720
Even if someone else did plant evidence, framed Robbie, why?
841
00:49:40,720 --> 00:49:42,120
What's the point?
842
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:43,440
Er...
843
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:47,840
Ah! Well, it would get the clients out of hiding.
844
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:49,440
Melinda for one.
845
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:54,680
Talking of which, are you expecting company?
846
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:56,040
Hmm?
847
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:59,520
Oh. No, Melinda switched the venue to hers.
848
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:01,320
Where she politely informed me
849
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:03,440
that she's got back with her newly straight husband.
850
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:06,120
Oh, um, hello,
851
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:07,240
we...
852
00:50:07,240 --> 00:50:09,600
won't...
853
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:10,920
be needing...
854
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:12,360
the...
855
00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:14,840
What's Polish for pot roast?
856
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:17,120
Oh, it doesn't matter!
857
00:50:20,240 --> 00:50:22,640
- Well, for what it's worth I'm sorry, Dirk.
- Oh, don't be.
858
00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:25,520
Turns out the handwriting I thought was hers was actually her cleaners.
859
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:28,920
So you should have been stalking her cleaner? She's your perfect woman.
860
00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:34,640
No. Not at all. Her traits didn't match her handwriting.
861
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:36,160
The whole thing is obviously bunk.
862
00:50:37,720 --> 00:50:41,160
Yes. It would be, wouldn't it? On her wages. Right, Dirk?
863
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:46,400
Gah! All the pieces are here. I'm sure of it.
864
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:49,240
I just don't know what they mean. At least not consciously.
865
00:50:49,240 --> 00:50:51,960
I'm sure my subconscious has already worked this out
866
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:54,080
and has it's feet up with a cup of tea.
867
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:55,800
HE CHUCKLES
868
00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:57,160
What?
869
00:50:57,160 --> 00:51:00,560
Nothing. Just you babbling nonsense. Me popping your ego.
870
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:02,600
I've missed this.
871
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:05,800
Not enough to come back but, you know.
872
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:07,400
Well...
873
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:09,760
I'll glad my nonsense has entertained you.
874
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:23,680
I don't know. I just feel it's staring me in the face.
875
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:25,880
If only I could see it.
876
00:51:38,720 --> 00:51:40,160
GLASS SHATTERS
877
00:51:40,160 --> 00:51:42,000
Whoops. How clumsy of me.
878
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:45,800
There I go again. Butterfingers.
879
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:46,960
What are you doing?
880
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:49,400
You made a mess.
881
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:50,800
I hate the mess.
882
00:52:11,240 --> 00:52:13,400
If you wanted a pay rise, you just had to ask.
883
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:17,120
SHE SCREAMS
884
00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:42,840
Dirk Gently. It was on my answer phone.
885
00:52:48,120 --> 00:52:52,960
Rosa Valchenko, hired assassin, codename The Cleaner.
886
00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:55,680
Your cleaner's codename was The Cleaner?
887
00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:57,960
I know. These cold-blooded killers, no imagination.
888
00:52:57,960 --> 00:53:02,520
Look. Wanted by the FBI and Interpol. And check out the reward.
889
00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:03,600
HE WHISTLES
890
00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:06,840
That's nice. That's Hawaiian beach nice.
891
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:10,080
Or I could rent the office again. Pay off the debts.
892
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:12,360
Yeah? It's your money.
893
00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:13,720
No. It's....
894
00:53:15,480 --> 00:53:17,000
our money.
895
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:21,080
Are you OK?
896
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:24,480
Fair's fair. I wouldn't have cracked this without you.
897
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:27,600
Thanks.
898
00:53:33,160 --> 00:53:34,960
So, don't you want to know how it all happened?
899
00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:36,880
Who the evil genius was behind it all?
900
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:39,160
Yeah, go on then. Blow my mind. Who?
901
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:40,520
Janice.
902
00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:43,120
Janice? Secretary Janice? No.
903
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:47,840
I mean I know she's got mixed feelings for you but...
904
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:50,400
In revenge for me not paying her wages,
905
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:55,000
Janice diverted all the office calls to a very cheap messaging system.
906
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:57,240
So cheap in fact that many of the calls
907
00:53:57,240 --> 00:54:00,720
mistakenly ended up in other people's inboxes,
908
00:54:00,720 --> 00:54:02,720
taxi firms, Chinese restaurants,
909
00:54:02,720 --> 00:54:05,480
and our very exclusive assassin.
910
00:54:07,800 --> 00:54:11,080
Now, her number was only supposed to be known by mob bosses,
911
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:12,960
who would ring up with the names of targets.
912
00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:16,240
But then clients of mine started leaving their names and addresses.
913
00:54:16,240 --> 00:54:19,560
Neil Tendall. 46 Wenton Street.
914
00:54:19,560 --> 00:54:22,640
235 Upper Macmillan, E3...
915
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:25,000
Nigel McClusky, number 4, The Stables.
916
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:28,520
Mr Fredericks, 9 Fullmore Crescent, Barking.
917
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:32,440
Little realising that they were signing their own death warrants.
918
00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:43,280
After a while, when nothing showed up in her account,
919
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:45,480
she realised the error and sent those heavies round
920
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:46,880
to try and get the money off me.
921
00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:48,960
You pay cleaner.
922
00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:52,080
Even when she knew it was a mistake, she still wouldn't stop killing.
923
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:56,480
Her guarantee is that any name left on that number would be killed.
924
00:54:56,480 --> 00:55:00,640
So she framed Robbie by tipping us off about his storage unit,
925
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:03,440
where she planted all the bogus evidence.
926
00:55:03,440 --> 00:55:05,200
With Robbie behind bars,
927
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:08,600
the police withdrew their protection for our remaining clients.
928
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:14,240
So ultimately, this whole thing was caused by your cheapness?
929
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:18,840
I think the universe is trying to tell you something, Gently.
930
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:23,600
Well, you could also argue that his cheapness saved us this evening.
931
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,280
If he'd paid his plumber,
932
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:28,600
then there'd be no hole in the floor and we wouldn't be alive.
933
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:33,120
You two deserve each other.
934
00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:41,280
Thanks.
935
00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:43,640
You're welcome. He's an arse.
936
00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:49,440
I'm sorry that things didn't work out with you and Melinda.
937
00:55:49,440 --> 00:55:51,960
Ah, plenty more clients in the sea, Macduff.
938
00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:53,520
Speaking of which...
939
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:57,080
What's that?
940
00:55:57,080 --> 00:55:58,520
It came this morning.
941
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:00,960
A series of bizarre frauds have been committed by a man
942
00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:02,760
with extreme body odour.
943
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:05,240
I suspect him of using pheromonal influence.
944
00:56:05,240 --> 00:56:06,400
Pheromonal what-what?
945
00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:10,200
Oh, come on, Macduff, you must be aware of the power of pheromones.
946
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:13,640
It's why CEOs of Fortune 500 companies don't wash.
947
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:15,360
You're making this up!
948
00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:18,480
It's scientific fact. An unwashed armpit can make all the difference
949
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:20,560
anywhere from a back alley knife fight
950
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:22,040
to a high-powered board meeting.
951
00:56:22,040 --> 00:56:23,920
It just gives you that little extra edge.
952
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:26,080
That certainly explains your personal hygiene.
953
00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:28,280
It's not odour, Macduff. This is armour.
954
00:56:28,280 --> 00:56:30,560
It's certainly strong, I'll give you that.
955
00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:46,400
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