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1
00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:31,503
Ah!
2
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:40,058
Saturday, September 25th.
3
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:45,271
Another heavenly day.
4
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,855
Ah, yes.
5
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,730
It's always a heavenly day.
6
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:57,446
Every day is perfect.
7
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,611
Nothing but happiness.
8
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:03,373
Ah, yes, happiness,
happiness, happiness.
9
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:07,912
I have everything that any man
or angel could desire.
10
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,421
Beautiful memories of the past.
11
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:13,208
Pictures, toys...
12
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:17,299
Toys.
13
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:20,591
Children play
with the dreams of tomorrow...
14
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:24,853
And old men play
with the memories of yesterday.
15
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:26,513
Broadway.
16
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:29,433
Ah, Broadway I can see it again.
17
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:32,478
The Broadway of 1907.
18
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,646
The Broadway
that was waiting for me.
19
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:38,032
An innocent world
believing in a golden future,
20
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,864
full of peace and laughter
21
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:41,699
and beautiful girls.
22
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:45,161
And here's the theater where
my first follies opened.
23
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:48,998
As I look at that theater now,
it's all mine forever.
24
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:52,664
No taxes, no bills,
and no competitors.
25
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:55,003
There they are, my first public.
26
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:58,136
High and mighty,
and the hoi polloi.
27
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,547
And here, they're all mine.
28
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:03,558
Eternal toys
that never grow older.
29
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:06,720
Look at Mrs. astor
in her beautiful carriage
30
00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:08,559
with her famous horse.
31
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,270
Much more famous
that night than Ziegfeld.
32
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,402
And didn't the horse know il.
33
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,859
And diamond Jim Brady
with no horse...
34
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:23,198
But what a filly inside the car.
35
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:25,329
There they are, an old New York
36
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:28,412
first-night audience,
the judge and the jury.
37
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,122
"What have you got,
Mr. Ziegfeld?
38
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,082
Show us your magic, if you dare.
39
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,838
Make us dream, if you can.
40
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:36,124
What have you got,
Mr. Ziegfeld?"
41
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:45,718
Ziegfeld:
Anna held hourglass girls.
42
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,007
Ziegfeld: Thank you, Mrs. astor.
43
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:22,592
I can pretend all my great
stars never grew older...
44
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:26,849
Are still dancing and singing
as they did years ago.
45
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,260
Marilyn Miller.
46
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:37,609
Fanny Brice.
47
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:40,522
J look at me, oh, look at me j
48
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,612
j ho, I'm an Indian,
ah-ha I'm an Indian. Jj
49
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,117
Ziegfeld: Will Rogers.
50
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:52,166
Well, uh...
What'll I talk about?
51
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:53,952
I ain't got anything to say
that's funny.
52
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,870
All I know is what
I read in the paper.
53
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,380
Ziegfeld: Eddie cantor.
54
00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:00,838
J if you knew susie
like I know susie j
55
00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:03,845
j oh, oh, oh, what a girl! J
56
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:07,599
j there's none so classy
as this fair Lassie j
57
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,886
j oh, oh, holy Moses
what a chassis. J
58
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:14,227
j we went riding,
she didn't balk j
59
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,608
j back from yonkers
I'm the one who had to walk. J
60
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:20,771
j if you knew susie
like I know susie j
61
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:23,861
j oh, oh, oh, what a girl! Jj
62
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:27,697
Ziegfeld: I can hear
the applause
63
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:31,330
as if it hadn't disappeared
into the past.
64
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,492
The New York night
still burns for me
65
00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:36,753
with the names I have
branded into its sky.
66
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:40,882
Great shows that were part
of the dreams of America.
67
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,792
How many millions
of people today
68
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,461
remember their courtships
69
00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,595
their honeymoons,
their anniversaries,
70
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,006
their happiest moments
71
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:51,096
in terms of a Ziegfeld show?
72
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:55,810
The world would never forget
the Ziegfeld follies.
73
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:07,825
Those were the good old days.
74
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:16,118
And yet, I wonder,
are those days really over?
75
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,787
Just because I moved up here,
76
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,502
did the follies
have to die, too?
77
00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:23,587
Couldn't there be a new follies?
78
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,089
No, no, I suppose not.
79
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:32,930
After all, how could there be
a Ziegfeld follies
80
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:35,641
without Ziegfeld?
81
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:40,980
What I would give to be able
to put on one more follies!
82
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,940
Yes.
83
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:46,231
So many personalities
down there to choose from.
84
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:48,650
Great personalities from my day,
85
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,989
and great ones that have
come up since.
86
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,076
How would I open?
87
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,412
Let's see.
88
00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:00,829
Uh, I'd like a crayon and paper.
89
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:04,047
Thank you.
90
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:07,051
I think I'd open
with a pink number.
91
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:09,928
Yes, a beautiful pink number
92
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:13,887
with a beautiful pink and white,
blue-eyed girl.
93
00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:18,726
Yes, and maybe to introduce
the whole thing...
94
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:22,358
Well, who would be better
than my old friend Fred Astaire?
95
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,484
A great star, Freddie.
96
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:27,613
I'd be taking
no chances with him.
97
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:32,494
And I know Freddie would say
something very nice about me.
98
00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:34,995
What can I say about Ziegfeld?
99
00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:37,782
Well, I can only tell you that
as long as there's a dance,
100
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,793
a song, a musical show
and it's good...
101
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:44,205
Somewhere around or in it
is Ziegfeld.
102
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:48,502
He never cared so much
about villains, plots, stories.
103
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,635
The follies never had a story.
104
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:53,924
The Ziegfeld follies was itself
a story of an era.
105
00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:57,811
If it was gay, bright,
beautiful...
106
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,720
That's how Ziggy wanted it.
107
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,390
And, oh, I almost forgot...
108
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,308
The girls.
109
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:07,445
Ziggy was a specialist
at glorifying girls.
110
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,093
That's one of
the most important things
111
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,823
about the follies, you know.
112
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,324
So...
113
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:15,987
J here's to
the beautiful ladies. J
114
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:19,749
j here's to
those wonderful girls. J
115
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:23,582
j adeles and Mollys
lucilles and pollys j
116
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:27,920
j you'll find them all
in the Ziegfeld follies! J
117
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:31,257
j here's to the silks
and the satins. J
118
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:34,798
j here's to the diamonds
and pearls. J
119
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:38,468
j this is the mixture
to start the picture j
120
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:42,764
j so bring on
the beautiful girls! J
121
00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:01,787
J here's to the silks
and the satins. J
122
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:05,499
j here's to the diamonds
and pearls. J
123
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:09,257
j a sweet endeavor
a joy forever j
124
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:12,715
j so bring on
the beautiful girls! J
125
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,049
J; Here's to the j
126
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:44,720
j beautiful ladies. J
127
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:51,735
j here's to
those wonderful girls. J
128
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:55,488
j adeles and Mollys j
129
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:59,367
j lucilles and pollys j
130
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:02,279
j you'll find them all j
131
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:07,541
j in the Ziegfeld follies. J
132
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,919
j here's to the silks j
133
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:15,174
j and the satins. J
134
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:18,051
j here's to the diamonds j
135
00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:22,261
j and pearls. J
136
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:26,144
j a joy forever j
137
00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:29,932
j a sweet endeavor j
138
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:37,026
j to bring on
the beautiful girls. J
139
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:07,620
J this is the mixture
to start the picture j
140
00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:08,996
j so bringon/
141
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:16,083
j the beautiful girls &7
142
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:30,509
Whoa!
143
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:36,231
J all this yap-yap-yap
about glorifying dames j
144
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:39,269
j leaves me like a cold potato j
145
00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:44,282
j I'd much rather be
with a handsome he j
146
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:49,287
j like Van Johnson,
who's a real tomato! J
147
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:51,197
j for a date
with Fred MacMurray j
148
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:52,865
j you can bet your life
I'd hurry j
149
00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:55,500
j and a guy like Mischa auer j
150
00:20:55,671 --> 00:21:00,005
j has me completely
in his power j
151
00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:04,044
j in fact, most any man
I've seen j
152
00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:09,386
j is the only man for me j
153
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,471
whee!
154
00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:14,978
J bring on those wonderful men j
155
00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:18,186
j bring me an elegant guy j
156
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:21,648
j a soldier or sailor,
a gable or Taylor j
157
00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:24,905
j a short or a tall one,
I just wanna call one j
158
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:28,363
j my own private wonderful he j
159
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:31,700
j bring what you can to me j
160
00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:35,037
j bring me a guy to pin up j
161
00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:38,169
j bring me a prince on a horse j
162
00:21:38,339 --> 00:21:41,376
j a dark or a light one,
I just want to sight one j
163
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:44,633
j who'll call me his missus
and give with the kisses j
164
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:47,762
j I'm afraid
I've a terrible yen j
165
00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:51,174
j for those wonderful m-e-n j
166
00:21:51,352 --> 00:21:54,469
j; Amor amor j
167
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:57,764
j there must be someone for me,
but what's he waiting for? J
168
00:21:57,942 --> 00:22:01,025
j no hope, no soap j
169
00:22:01,195 --> 00:22:04,278
j if he don't appear I fear
I'm at the end of my rope!
170
00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:08,236
J oh, bring on a male
who ain't frail j
171
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:11,322
j bring on a man from a cave j
172
00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:14,705
j someone to relax with
and pay income tax with j
173
00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:17,912
j and though he's from hunger,
I'm not getting younger
174
00:22:18,087 --> 00:22:20,794
j and I'd like to get on
with my plan
175
00:22:20,965 --> 00:22:25,083
j to glorify the American man j
176
00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:29,254
j I know the men are few j
177
00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:33,470
j but what's a gal to do? J
178
00:22:33,644 --> 00:22:37,728
j I'll get a man before
I'm through
179
00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:40,435
j hey, you in the third row j
180
00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:43,730
j bring on those j
181
00:22:43,904 --> 00:22:50,821
j wonderful men! J\j
182
00:26:39,807 --> 00:26:43,595
Oh! Could you tell me
where the telephone is, please?
183
00:26:43,769 --> 00:26:45,100
Oh, thank you.
184
00:26:53,946 --> 00:26:55,186
Say, could you tell...
185
00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:06,893
Woman 1 on call: Number, please.
- Oh, operator.
186
00:27:06,917 --> 00:27:10,785
I would like Plaza 5, 5-5-9-7,
please.
187
00:27:10,963 --> 00:27:13,249
Woman 1: Plaza 5, 5-5-9-7.
188
00:27:13,423 --> 00:27:15,960
Woman 1: One moment, please.
- That's right. Thank you.
189
00:27:17,594 --> 00:27:19,585
Man 1 on call: Hello.
= oh, hello. Louis?
190
00:27:19,763 --> 00:27:23,847
Man 1: What number you want?
- Uh, Plaza 5, 5-5-9-7.
191
00:27:24,017 --> 00:27:28,351
Man 1: Well,
this is morningside 3, 3-3-3-3.
192
00:27:28,522 --> 00:27:31,013
= oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Man 1: Oh, drop dead, will you?
193
00:27:32,818 --> 00:27:34,558
Yeah. I'll-=- I'll do that.
194
00:27:37,906 --> 00:27:39,384
- Operator.
Woman 1 on call: Number, please?
195
00:27:39,408 --> 00:27:41,194
Oh, operator, you got me
the wrong number.
196
00:27:41,368 --> 00:27:44,656
I wanted Plaza 5, 5-5-9-7,
and you got me...
197
00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:46,036
Woman 1: One moment, please.
198
00:27:46,206 --> 00:27:47,821
I'll get you
the complaint department.
199
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,644
Oh, you don't have to
get me the complaint...
200
00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:50,854
Woman 1 on call:
Hello, complaint department?
201
00:27:50,878 --> 00:27:52,118
Woman 2: Complaint department.
202
00:27:52,296 --> 00:27:53,776
Woman 1: Oh, hello, Beth,
how are you?
203
00:27:53,881 --> 00:27:55,233
- No, look, you...
Beth: Boy, have I got a head.
204
00:27:55,257 --> 00:27:56,463
Get me some...
205
00:27:56,633 --> 00:27:57,777
Woman 1: Went to the strand
last night
206
00:27:57,801 --> 00:27:58,961
and saw that cute Van Johnson
207
00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:00,342
in "30 seconds over Japan.”
208
00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:02,073
Oh, did you like that picture?
I liked it.
209
00:28:02,097 --> 00:28:03,697
When the airplanes
went over and dropped,
210
00:28:03,724 --> 00:28:05,724
there was a fellow, had one leg.
Handsome, brave...
211
00:28:05,767 --> 00:28:07,723
Woman 1: Van Johnson
is just divine.
212
00:28:07,895 --> 00:28:09,305
- Operator!
Woman 1 on call: Hmm!
213
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:13,605
Number, please.
214
00:28:13,775 --> 00:28:15,436
Operator,
believe me when I tell you
215
00:28:15,611 --> 00:28:18,102
that you don't have to get me
the complaint department.
216
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:20,145
I can spare that extra nickel.
217
00:28:20,324 --> 00:28:24,363
I just want Plaza 5, 5-5-9-7.
218
00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:28,074
Woman 1: Plaza 5, 5-5-9-7?
- Yes, that's right.
219
00:28:28,248 --> 00:28:30,364
Woman 1: One moment, please.
- Thank you.
220
00:28:32,169 --> 00:28:33,534
Oh, hello. Louis?
221
00:28:33,712 --> 00:28:35,632
Woman 2: When you hear the tone,
the time will be
222
00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:39,753
exactly 33 and
a third seconds past 10.
223
00:28:49,436 --> 00:28:51,301
- Operator.
Woman 1 on call: Number, please.
224
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:56,065
Operator, all I want
is Plaza 5, 5-5-9-7.
225
00:28:56,235 --> 00:28:58,226
Now, that's Louis Sebastian's
cigar store.
226
00:28:58,403 --> 00:29:02,146
It's right around the corner.
I could walk there.
227
00:29:02,324 --> 00:29:04,360
I don't want the world
with a fence around it.
228
00:29:04,534 --> 00:29:08,322
All 1 want is Plaza 5, 5-5-9-7.
229
00:29:08,497 --> 00:29:12,035
Woman 1: Plaza 5, 5-5-9-7?
One moment, please.
230
00:29:12,209 --> 00:29:13,289
Thank you.
231
00:29:14,544 --> 00:29:15,909
Hello, Louis?
232
00:29:16,088 --> 00:29:19,421
J happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you j
233
00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:23,504
j happy birthday, dear Mr. bushy
mendel horgenforth ill j
234
00:29:23,679 --> 00:29:29,390
j no knife can cut
our love in two. Jj
235
00:29:29,559 --> 00:29:33,677
j good evening, friends. Jj
236
00:29:33,855 --> 00:29:37,518
- uh, pardon me, sir.
- Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
237
00:29:39,319 --> 00:29:41,776
- Hi, operator?
Woman 1 on call: Number, please?
238
00:29:41,947 --> 00:29:45,189
Say, operator, I'd like
to talk to colonel culpepper
239
00:29:45,367 --> 00:29:48,609
at the magnolia manor plantation
in chattanooga, Tennessee.
240
00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:50,277
Chattanooga, Tennessee.
241
00:29:50,455 --> 00:29:52,616
Hello, colonel culpepper?
242
00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:54,076
Oh, hi, cul.
243
00:29:54,251 --> 00:29:55,866
Say, cul, Willie Mae says
244
00:29:56,044 --> 00:29:58,376
why don't y'all drop over
for the weekend
245
00:29:58,547 --> 00:30:01,163
and bring Mrs. culpepper,
and all the kids with y'all.
246
00:30:01,341 --> 00:30:03,423
After all, y'all only live once.
247
00:30:03,593 --> 00:30:05,959
Why, sure. = uh-huh. Uh-huh.
248
00:30:06,138 --> 00:30:07,878
Well, so long, y'all.
249
00:30:10,517 --> 00:30:12,883
It's been a real pleasure, sir.
250
00:30:18,859 --> 00:30:20,269
Look, operator...
251
00:30:22,821 --> 00:30:28,657
I'd kind of like
Plaza 5, 5-5-9-7, please.
252
00:30:28,827 --> 00:30:30,909
Woman 1 on call:
Why, sure enough, honey child.
253
00:30:34,207 --> 00:30:35,663
Hello, Louis?
254
00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:48,672
- Look, operator!
Woman 1 on call: Number, please.
255
00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:54,342
I would like Plaza 5, 5-5-9-7!
256
00:30:54,519 --> 00:30:57,602
Woman 1:
Will you spell it, please?
257
00:30:57,773 --> 00:31:00,435
Plaza. 'P' for Plaza.
258
00:31:00,609 --> 00:31:02,065
'L' for Louis.
259
00:31:02,235 --> 00:31:03,235
'A' for annoying.
260
00:31:03,362 --> 00:31:05,318
'Z' for Xavier cugat.
261
00:31:05,489 --> 00:31:12,236
'A' for anaheim, azusa,
cucamonga 5, 5-5-9-7.
262
00:31:12,412 --> 00:31:15,495
Woman 1: Westminister 2,
2.2.2.2?
263
00:31:29,763 --> 00:31:31,240
- Operator.
Woman 1 on call: Number, please.
264
00:31:31,264 --> 00:31:33,425
Woman 1: Number, please.
- Operator.
265
00:31:35,435 --> 00:31:37,517
Ope...
266
00:31:47,697 --> 00:31:49,779
Hmm!
267
00:31:49,950 --> 00:31:52,282
- Hello, operator.
Woman 1 on call: Number, please.
268
00:31:52,452 --> 00:31:55,114
I want to speak
to sir Geoffrey Kirsten
269
00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:57,700
of the frennessey
Brandy company,
270
00:31:57,874 --> 00:32:00,832
Cape Town, South Africa.
271
00:32:01,002 --> 00:32:03,539
Uh, no, I don't know the number.
272
00:32:03,713 --> 00:32:05,544
Oh, she don't know the number.
273
00:32:05,715 --> 00:32:06,955
Woman 3: Hello, porky.
274
00:32:07,134 --> 00:32:09,466
Hello, por...
275
00:32:09,636 --> 00:32:12,127
Porky on call: Hello.
Hello, are you there?
276
00:32:12,305 --> 00:32:15,388
Is that you, Gwendolyn,
my darling?
277
00:32:15,559 --> 00:32:20,098
Hello, porky.
You stink, you big baboon!
278
00:32:22,190 --> 00:32:24,932
And that goes
for you, too, buster.
279
00:32:57,642 --> 00:32:59,620
- Hello, operator.
Woman 1 on call: Number, please.
280
00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:01,100
Woman 1: Number, please.
- Operator.
281
00:33:03,982 --> 00:33:09,067
In, uh, dumdum proper,
south transylvania.
282
00:33:09,237 --> 00:33:11,569
No, I don't know the number...
283
00:33:11,740 --> 00:33:14,573
And I don't know
Mr. oogu's first name.
284
00:33:14,743 --> 00:33:16,734
All I know is oogu.
285
00:33:16,912 --> 00:33:19,153
Just plain oogu.
286
00:33:19,331 --> 00:33:21,572
Woman 1: One moment, please.
287
00:33:21,750 --> 00:33:24,583
Oogu on call: Hello,
oogu speaking.
288
00:33:28,256 --> 00:33:30,247
Look, oogu,
you won't remember me,
289
00:33:30,425 --> 00:33:33,258
but we met at a preview
of "Dorian gray."
290
00:33:33,428 --> 00:33:36,841
Oogu: Ah! Sure, sure. = yeah.
291
00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:39,552
Look, oogu, I, uh, wonder
if you would do me a favor.
292
00:33:39,726 --> 00:33:43,719
Oogu: Ah, sure, any friend
of a friend is a friend.
293
00:33:43,897 --> 00:33:46,559
Oh, well,
I'm glad you feel that way.
294
00:33:46,733 --> 00:33:50,601
Um, look, uh, oogu...
295
00:33:50,779 --> 00:33:54,818
Would you get me Plaza 5, 5.5...
296
00:33:54,991 --> 00:33:56,385
Woman 1 on call: Sorry,
your three minutes are up.
297
00:33:56,409 --> 00:33:58,741
That'll be 94 dollars
and 45 cents.
298
00:37:44,721 --> 00:37:46,586
Keep moving.
Watch your step there.
299
00:37:46,765 --> 00:37:48,551
Step lively.
Right this way, please.
300
00:37:48,725 --> 00:37:50,511
Step lively. Keep moving.
301
00:37:54,898 --> 00:37:57,059
Hey, excuse me.
302
00:37:57,233 --> 00:37:59,849
- Hey.
- I beg your pardon.
303
00:38:00,028 --> 00:38:01,609
Now, this property
that we're gonna
304
00:38:01,780 --> 00:38:04,692
look at is worth a $190,000.
305
00:38:04,866 --> 00:38:07,232
He's asking a $125,000.
306
00:38:07,410 --> 00:38:09,025
We'll offer him, uh...
307
00:38:10,747 --> 00:38:12,408
$55,000...
308
00:38:12,582 --> 00:38:15,745
Uh, we'll offer him $60,000
and settle for $75,000.
309
00:38:15,919 --> 00:38:17,830
Nothing doing.
Why don't you leave the bu...
310
00:38:18,004 --> 00:38:20,586
- Well, really.
- I'm sorry. Alright.
311
00:38:20,757 --> 00:38:22,557
Why don't you leave
the business things to me?
312
00:38:26,304 --> 00:38:29,091
Oh, excuse me, little... little
girl... madam.
313
00:38:29,265 --> 00:38:31,847
Now, listen,
I'll get it for $50,000.
314
00:38:32,018 --> 00:38:34,430
I'll save you $25,000.
= never mind.
315
00:38:34,604 --> 00:38:37,721
If it's worth a $150,000,
I'll give him $75,000.
316
00:38:37,899 --> 00:38:40,060
No, $50,000. Now stop worrying
about it, will you?
317
00:38:40,235 --> 00:38:41,879
- I'm your lawyer.
- Yeah, you're my lawyer.
318
00:38:41,903 --> 00:38:43,484
It'll be like the last deal.
319
00:38:43,655 --> 00:38:47,773
You were gonna save me $25,000
and I lost the whole deal.
320
00:38:47,951 --> 00:38:52,069
I could've made $200,000.
You're my lawyer.
321
00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:57,536
Hey, what's the matter?
= you're under arrest.
322
00:38:57,710 --> 00:39:00,076
- It ain't lit.
- I said you were under arrest.
323
00:39:00,255 --> 00:39:02,712
- What for?
- For expectorating in a subway.
324
00:39:02,882 --> 00:39:05,214
Now I gotta take you to court
and they'll fine you $2.
325
00:39:05,385 --> 00:39:08,343
Oh, I... 1 didn't know
what I was doing.
326
00:39:08,513 --> 00:39:11,300
Can't we settle this
out of court?
327
00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:14,261
I'll give you the $2.
328
00:39:14,435 --> 00:39:16,175
Okay. = uh...
329
00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:18,436
I got it right here.
330
00:39:18,606 --> 00:39:22,519
I... I haven't got it on me.
331
00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:23,979
He'll give you the $2.
332
00:39:24,153 --> 00:39:26,189
Give him the $2. = I will not!
333
00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:27,774
Have you got any withesses?
334
00:39:27,949 --> 00:39:29,780
How do you know he expectorated
on the floor?
335
00:39:29,951 --> 00:39:31,987
- I saw him with my own eyes.
- Guys, stop arguing.
336
00:39:32,161 --> 00:39:33,867
What's $27? Give him the $2.
337
00:39:34,038 --> 00:39:35,574
If we ain't uptown by 8 o'clock,
338
00:39:35,748 --> 00:39:36,788
we'll lose the whole deal.
339
00:39:36,958 --> 00:39:38,619
You won't lose a thing.
340
00:39:38,793 --> 00:39:40,408
I dare you to arrest my client.
341
00:39:40,587 --> 00:39:42,043
Oh, a smart guy, eh?
342
00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:43,919
Yes, I never lost a case
in my life.
343
00:39:44,090 --> 00:39:45,876
Well, we'll see about that.
Come on with me.
344
00:39:46,050 --> 00:39:47,586
Pay him the $2.
345
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,375
I'll break you for this,
officer.
346
00:39:49,554 --> 00:39:52,387
Pay him the $2.
347
00:39:58,396 --> 00:40:00,352
The court finds
the defendant guilty
348
00:40:00,523 --> 00:40:02,559
of expectorating in the subway
349
00:40:02,734 --> 00:40:05,396
and hereby
fines the defendant $2,
350
00:40:05,570 --> 00:40:07,060
or 30 days in jail.
351
00:40:07,238 --> 00:40:08,728
Alright. Pay him the $2.
352
00:40:08,907 --> 00:40:10,693
Nothing doing. We'll appeal.
353
00:40:10,867 --> 00:40:13,233
Oh, pay the $2. = no.
354
00:40:13,411 --> 00:40:15,117
You're a businessman
and you can't afford
355
00:40:15,288 --> 00:40:17,028
to have a black Mark
against you.
356
00:40:18,833 --> 00:40:20,539
We'll take it to a higher court.
357
00:40:20,710 --> 00:40:22,621
Man 2: Take him away.
- Oh, please.
358
00:40:22,795 --> 00:40:24,751
- Pay the $2.
- Don't worry.
359
00:40:24,923 --> 00:40:27,255
I'll have you out of here
in 20 minutes.
360
00:40:33,848 --> 00:40:36,089
How long have you been in here?
361
00:40:36,267 --> 00:40:39,680
I'll bet you've got
the same lawyer I've got.
362
00:40:45,151 --> 00:40:48,063
- Hello, Victor, how are you?
- Where have you been?
363
00:40:48,237 --> 00:40:50,023
I've been waiting here 12 days
364
00:40:50,198 --> 00:40:52,109
for you to get back
in 20 minutes.
365
00:40:52,283 --> 00:40:54,695
Oh, now, Victor,
don't be so impatient.
366
00:40:54,869 --> 00:40:56,484
- Oh!
- I haven't very much time.
367
00:40:56,663 --> 00:40:58,944
I am in a bit of a hurry,
but I couldn't help but drop by,
368
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:00,701
and... and give you
the good news.
369
00:41:00,875 --> 00:41:03,708
Yes, the court has granted
our motion for an appeal.
370
00:41:03,878 --> 00:41:05,834
Look, "whereas my client,
Victor Moore,
371
00:41:06,005 --> 00:41:07,541
here and after known
as the defendant
372
00:41:07,715 --> 00:41:10,457
is being sued for committing
a public nuisance..."
373
00:41:10,635 --> 00:41:13,593
Never mind that stuff.
Just pay 'em the $2.
374
00:41:13,763 --> 00:41:16,049
I will not.
I never lost a case in my life.
375
00:41:16,224 --> 00:41:18,180
Say, what're you trying to do?
Spoil my record?
376
00:41:18,351 --> 00:41:21,388
No. All I'm trying to do
is get out of jail.
377
00:41:21,562 --> 00:41:23,928
Won't you please pay 'em the $2?
378
00:41:24,107 --> 00:41:26,814
Nothing doing.
You're going to appeal.
379
00:41:26,985 --> 00:41:28,475
And by the way,
I want you to know
380
00:41:28,653 --> 00:41:30,894
that I kept the accounts
absolutely straight.
381
00:41:31,072 --> 00:41:32,312
What do you mean, accounts?
382
00:41:32,490 --> 00:41:34,151
Well, it takes money
to file an appeal.
383
00:41:34,325 --> 00:41:36,065
- Well, pay the $2.
- No, no.
384
00:41:36,244 --> 00:41:38,360
It's too late.
I've already filed my briefs.
385
00:41:38,538 --> 00:41:41,029
Now here are the accounts.
= never mind.
386
00:41:41,207 --> 00:41:42,868
Uh, how much did you spend?
387
00:41:43,042 --> 00:41:44,828
Well, three stenographers
for three days
388
00:41:45,003 --> 00:41:46,664
at $5 a day. $150.
389
00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:48,749
Well, that's for
preparing the briefs.
390
00:41:48,923 --> 00:41:51,380
Now, $10 a day for taking
the stenographers to lunch.
391
00:41:51,551 --> 00:41:53,257
What do you mean
by taking stenographers
392
00:41:53,428 --> 00:41:55,009
out to lunch on my money?
393
00:41:55,179 --> 00:41:57,545
Don't tell me
how to live my life.
394
00:41:57,724 --> 00:42:00,090
Now then, a hundred dollars
a day for three assistants.
395
00:42:00,268 --> 00:42:02,224
$5000 to Walter Wilson.
396
00:42:02,395 --> 00:42:04,226
- For what?
- For an opinion.
397
00:42:04,397 --> 00:42:05,557
What did Wilson say?
398
00:42:05,732 --> 00:42:07,268
He said, "pay 'em the $2."
= yeah!
399
00:42:07,442 --> 00:42:09,979
$5000 to barker,
barker, barker & barker.
400
00:42:10,153 --> 00:42:12,360
What did barker, barker,
barker &...
401
00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:14,170
- And barker?
- Barker. What did they say?
402
00:42:14,323 --> 00:42:15,643
Well, they said,
"pay 'em the $2."
403
00:42:15,742 --> 00:42:17,382
And $5000 to Jerry geisler
for an opinion.
404
00:42:17,535 --> 00:42:18,775
What did geisler say?
405
00:42:18,953 --> 00:42:20,284
Geisler said, "pay 'em the $2."
406
00:42:20,455 --> 00:42:22,537
Seems to be quite
a difference of opinion.
407
00:42:22,707 --> 00:42:24,243
Oh, wait. I'm not through yet.
408
00:42:24,417 --> 00:42:27,329
Now, there's $250
uh, to my nephew for an opinion.
409
00:42:27,503 --> 00:42:29,539
A $150 to my niece
for an opinion.
410
00:42:29,714 --> 00:42:32,205
And $75 for my wife's opinion.
411
00:42:32,383 --> 00:42:34,590
What are you bringing them
in for? They're not lawyers.
412
00:42:34,761 --> 00:42:37,298
Well, everybody's entitled
to their opinion.
413
00:42:37,472 --> 00:42:40,214
Now comes my opinion, $3000.
414
00:42:40,391 --> 00:42:42,473
Oh, but we're gonna
win this case.
415
00:42:42,643 --> 00:42:44,975
We got an Ace in the hole.
We got four witnesses.
416
00:42:45,146 --> 00:42:46,807
What? We ain't got no witnesses.
417
00:42:46,981 --> 00:42:48,596
Oh, yes, we have, two are coming
418
00:42:48,775 --> 00:42:50,857
from Chicago,
and two are coming from Detroit.
419
00:42:51,027 --> 00:42:54,144
And that makes the, uh,
total expense to date...
420
00:42:54,322 --> 00:42:58,156
Uh... $463,663 and 63 cents.
421
00:42:58,326 --> 00:43:03,241
For goodness sake,
will you pay the $2!
422
00:43:09,629 --> 00:43:11,540
It is the opinion of this court
423
00:43:11,714 --> 00:43:13,955
that the decision of
the lower court be reversed.
424
00:43:14,133 --> 00:43:15,589
“Reversed!” didn't I tell you?
425
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,718
Is that good? = silence!
426
00:43:18,888 --> 00:43:21,721
As a result of the defendant's
behavior in the subway,
427
00:43:21,891 --> 00:43:23,973
a deadly germ was spread
428
00:43:24,143 --> 00:43:26,225
which caused the death
of two citizens.
429
00:43:26,395 --> 00:43:28,260
We therefore find
the defendant guilty
430
00:43:28,439 --> 00:43:30,725
of murder in the first degree.
431
00:43:30,900 --> 00:43:33,141
And the defendant
is hereby sentenced
432
00:43:33,319 --> 00:43:35,435
to the punishment of death.
433
00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:36,898
Your honor, we appeal.
434
00:43:37,073 --> 00:43:39,735
Oh, pay 'em the $2.
435
00:43:39,909 --> 00:43:43,242
Give 'em each $2.
436
00:43:58,970 --> 00:44:02,212
Victor, you have only
a few hours left to live.
437
00:44:02,390 --> 00:44:03,971
Nonsense.
438
00:44:04,142 --> 00:44:06,053
I've got this case all sewed up.
439
00:44:06,227 --> 00:44:07,842
You've got nothing
to worry about.
440
00:44:08,020 --> 00:44:10,181
I had the governor
on the phone all afternoon
441
00:44:10,356 --> 00:44:12,517
and the pardon'll be here
any minute.
442
00:44:12,692 --> 00:44:14,273
What would you like
for dinner, Victor?
443
00:44:14,443 --> 00:44:18,982
This will be your last meal.
You can order anything you want.
444
00:44:19,157 --> 00:44:22,024
- I can have anything?
- Anything.
445
00:44:22,201 --> 00:44:24,032
- Uh, you take the order?
- Yes, sir.
446
00:44:24,203 --> 00:44:26,785
Well, I'll have an order
of toast...
447
00:44:26,956 --> 00:44:29,413
Uh... dry toast.
448
00:44:29,584 --> 00:44:34,795
Not th... the... the
thin melba toast, thicker.
449
00:44:34,964 --> 00:44:39,333
And a... a cup of cocoa,
450
00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:43,674
and some stewed prunes
and cream.
451
00:44:43,848 --> 00:44:47,432
No. B... better leave out
the cream.
452
00:44:47,602 --> 00:44:48,933
That's fattening.
453
00:44:50,605 --> 00:44:53,688
Oh, come on, Victor, cheer up.
Have a cigar.
454
00:44:53,858 --> 00:44:55,502
Didn't I tell you the governor
would come through
455
00:44:55,526 --> 00:44:59,189
with a pardon?
Arnold never lost a case.
456
00:44:59,363 --> 00:45:00,963
It's a good thing you had me
as a lawyer,
457
00:45:01,073 --> 00:45:03,109
or you would've been
a dead pigeon, sure.
458
00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:05,775
You're a lucky man.
459
00:45:05,953 --> 00:45:09,787
Yeah. I'm a lucky man.
You ruined my business.
460
00:45:09,957 --> 00:45:13,575
You wrecked my health.
You spend all my money.
461
00:45:13,753 --> 00:45:17,086
My wife left me
because I'm an ex-convict.
462
00:45:17,256 --> 00:45:19,372
My children are disgraced.
463
00:45:19,550 --> 00:45:22,838
I'm a ruined man,
and all because of you.
464
00:45:23,012 --> 00:45:24,752
You're a lawyer.
465
00:45:29,143 --> 00:45:31,759
- You're under arrest.
- Not again! Hand it to him.
466
00:45:31,938 --> 00:45:34,850
- Don't worry, Victor, they...
- Please pay him the $2.
467
00:45:35,024 --> 00:45:36,043
I'll have you out in 20 minutes.
468
00:45:36,067 --> 00:45:37,432
I want you to pay them.
469
00:45:37,610 --> 00:45:40,443
Don't do a thing, Victor,
until you hear from me.
470
00:49:57,328 --> 00:49:59,489
J maybe it was the music j
471
00:49:59,663 --> 00:50:03,281
j or the glamorous sky of blue j
472
00:50:03,459 --> 00:50:06,451
j maybe it was
the mood I was in j
473
00:50:06,629 --> 00:50:09,962
j or maybe it was really you! J
474
00:50:10,132 --> 00:50:12,669
j really you! J
475
00:50:17,097 --> 00:50:20,931
j this heart of mine j
476
00:50:21,101 --> 00:50:26,641
j was doing very well j
477
00:50:26,815 --> 00:50:31,184
j the world was fine j
478
00:50:31,362 --> 00:50:35,605
I as far as I could tell j
479
00:50:35,783 --> 00:50:40,698
j and then quite
suddenly I saw you j
480
00:50:40,871 --> 00:50:46,207
j and I dreamed of gay amours j
481
00:50:46,377 --> 00:50:49,540
j at dawn I'll wake up singing j
482
00:50:49,713 --> 00:50:54,377
j sentimental overtures! J
483
00:50:54,552 --> 00:50:58,295
j this heart of mine j
484
00:50:58,472 --> 00:51:02,636
j is gaily dancing now j
485
00:51:02,810 --> 00:51:07,019
j'l taste the wine j
486
00:51:07,189 --> 00:51:11,728
j of real romancing now! [J
487
00:51:11,902 --> 00:51:14,644
j somehow this crazy world j
488
00:51:14,822 --> 00:51:17,529
j has taken on j
489
00:51:17,700 --> 00:51:21,284
j a wonderful design j
490
00:51:21,453 --> 00:51:24,445
j as long as life endures j
491
00:51:24,623 --> 00:51:29,959
j it's yours,
this heart of mine! J
492
00:54:19,631 --> 00:54:22,919
J this heart of mine j
493
00:54:23,093 --> 00:54:26,551
j was doing very well j
494
00:54:26,722 --> 00:54:30,055
j the world was fine j
495
00:54:30,225 --> 00:54:33,388
j as far as I could tell! J
496
00:54:33,562 --> 00:54:37,396
j and then quite
suddenly I met you
497
00:54:37,566 --> 00:54:41,434
j and I dreamed of gay amours j
498
00:54:41,612 --> 00:54:44,445
j at dawn I woke up singing j
499
00:54:44,615 --> 00:54:47,732
j sentimental overtures! J
500
00:54:47,910 --> 00:54:51,277
j this heart of mine j
501
00:54:51,455 --> 00:54:54,788
j is gaily dancing now j
502
00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:58,325
j'l taste the wine j
503
00:54:58,504 --> 00:55:01,996
j of real romancing now! [J
504
00:55:02,174 --> 00:55:04,756
j somehow this crazy world j
505
00:55:04,927 --> 00:55:09,296
j has taken on
a wonderful design j
506
00:55:09,473 --> 00:55:12,135
j as long as life endures j
507
00:55:12,309 --> 00:55:16,302
j it's yours,
this heart of mine! J
508
00:57:16,642 --> 00:57:20,226
J somehow this crazy world j
509
00:57:20,395 --> 00:57:24,638
j has taken on j
510
00:57:24,816 --> 00:57:28,729
j a wonderful design! J
511
00:57:28,904 --> 00:57:32,897
j as long as life endures j
512
00:57:33,075 --> 00:57:35,691
j it's yours j
513
00:57:35,869 --> 00:57:38,235
j this heart of j
514
00:57:38,413 --> 00:57:45,330
j mine! Jj
515
00:57:59,267 --> 00:58:03,101
Hello, operator?
I just dialed a number.
516
00:58:03,271 --> 00:58:07,139
What? No outgoing calls?
517
00:58:07,317 --> 00:58:09,353
I mailed your check yesterday.
518
00:58:09,528 --> 00:58:12,895
You'll positively
receive it tomorrow.
519
00:58:13,073 --> 00:58:14,483
You'll leave
the phone connected?
520
00:58:14,658 --> 00:58:17,570
Thank you.
Please get me that number.
521
00:58:19,746 --> 00:58:22,579
Hello. Is this the butcher?
This is Mrs. ederman.
522
00:58:22,749 --> 00:58:26,537
I got to have two pound lamb
chops right away for dinner.
523
00:58:26,712 --> 00:58:30,296
No meat? I mailed your
check yesterday.
524
00:58:30,465 --> 00:58:34,879
You'll positively
receive it tomorrow.
525
00:58:35,053 --> 00:58:38,591
I'll get the lamb chops
tomorrow? Thank you.
526
00:58:41,435 --> 00:58:43,346
I mailed your...
527
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:45,306
Oh, it's the door.
528
00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:47,266
Come in.
529
00:58:47,441 --> 00:58:48,897
Mrs. ederman? = yeah.
530
00:58:49,067 --> 00:58:50,773
- A cablegram.
- A cablegram?
531
00:58:50,944 --> 00:58:53,401
Yeah, from Ireland.
= Ireland? Let me see.
532
00:58:53,572 --> 00:58:54,982
Who do I know in Ireland?
533
00:58:55,157 --> 00:58:56,738
I think you won the sweepstakes.
534
00:58:56,908 --> 00:59:01,652
"Congratulations,
your ticket number 44678
535
00:59:01,830 --> 00:59:06,039
has been drawn in
the Irish sweepstakes."
536
00:59:06,209 --> 00:59:08,951
Ah, here. I got no change.
537
00:59:09,129 --> 00:59:10,869
Thank you. = you're welcome.
538
00:59:14,551 --> 00:59:17,418
I... 1won! Ll won!
539
00:59:17,596 --> 00:59:21,805
Well, somebody, I won!
Oi, monty, monty?
540
00:59:21,975 --> 00:59:25,968
Hello. I won. Oi, Ireland,
what a marvelous city.
541
00:59:26,146 --> 00:59:28,306
- Oi, is that you, monty?
Monty: Norma? Is dinner re...
542
00:59:28,398 --> 00:59:32,141
Monty. I love you!
Oi, monty, I love you!
543
00:59:32,319 --> 00:59:33,919
What's the matter?
You been untrue to me?
544
00:59:33,945 --> 00:59:36,937
Yes. No. I mean,
I just got a cable from Ireland.
545
00:59:37,115 --> 00:59:40,528
Monty, I've got a surprise!
= what is it?
546
00:59:40,702 --> 00:59:42,638
You know that ticket you bought
on the sweepstakes?
547
00:59:42,662 --> 00:59:44,869
- Yes.
- Well, it won!
548
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:47,031
We won a steak?
549
00:59:47,209 --> 00:59:50,417
We... we won the sweepstakes?
= yeah!
550
00:59:50,587 --> 00:59:52,953
A glass of water, please.
551
00:59:53,131 --> 00:59:56,089
What do you mean, water?
Champagne! We're rich!
552
00:59:56,259 --> 01:00:00,093
All our troubles are over!
Dance! Do something!
553
01:00:00,263 --> 01:00:02,675
Oi, monty! = hurrah! We're rich!
554
01:00:02,849 --> 01:00:04,385
We're rich. We got...
555
01:00:07,521 --> 01:00:10,888
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
556
01:00:11,066 --> 01:00:14,479
Monty, don't go crazy yet.
Wait till we get the money.
557
01:00:14,653 --> 01:00:16,934
I haven't gone crazy, but
something terrible has happened.
558
01:00:17,072 --> 01:00:19,072
What could be terrible
when we won the sweepstakes?
559
01:00:19,199 --> 01:00:20,780
Listen, I met the landlord
in the hall
560
01:00:20,951 --> 01:00:23,408
and had to pay him
the month's rent, $45.
561
01:00:23,578 --> 01:00:25,223
What's the difference?
We'll buy the house.
562
01:00:25,247 --> 01:00:27,784
But you don't understand,
I only had $42.50.
563
01:00:27,958 --> 01:00:29,573
So, to make up the extra
$2 and a half,
564
01:00:29,751 --> 01:00:32,037
I gave the landlord
the sweepstakes ticket.
565
01:00:32,212 --> 01:00:34,043
So what?
566
01:00:34,214 --> 01:00:36,626
What did you say?
567
01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:39,883
I gave the landlord
the sweepstake ticket.
568
01:00:40,053 --> 01:00:43,637
Monty, dear,
you should drop dead.
569
01:00:43,807 --> 01:00:45,388
I'll jump out the window.
570
01:00:45,559 --> 01:00:47,174
Who stops you?
571
01:00:47,352 --> 01:00:49,539
If the landlord knows the ticket
won, he won't give it back.
572
01:00:49,563 --> 01:00:51,645
But if he don't know,
we'll get it. Quick!
573
01:00:51,815 --> 01:00:53,726
- He's out in the hall.
- Get him!
574
01:00:53,900 --> 01:00:56,266
Get him! = Mr. Martin.
575
01:00:56,444 --> 01:01:00,187
Mr. Martin? Mr. Martin!
576
01:01:00,365 --> 01:01:02,276
Monty: Why, come in, Mr. Martin.
577
01:01:02,450 --> 01:01:04,691
Funny, my wife
was just talking about you.
578
01:01:04,870 --> 01:01:07,156
- Hello, Mrs. ederman.
- Hello, Mr. Martin. Sit down.
579
01:01:07,330 --> 01:01:08,570
- Thanks.
- You look good.
580
01:01:08,748 --> 01:01:10,739
You look absolutely wonderful.
581
01:01:10,917 --> 01:01:13,829
Uh, make yourself at home.
Here. Take an apple.
582
01:01:14,004 --> 01:01:15,619
- Thank you.
- You know, Mr. Martin.
583
01:01:15,797 --> 01:01:19,585
My wife is so superstitious
about that sweepstake ticket.
584
01:01:19,759 --> 01:01:22,592
If you let me have it back, I'll
give you the $2.50 tomorrow.
585
01:01:22,762 --> 01:01:24,969
Oh, if that's why
you called me in, I'm going.
586
01:01:25,140 --> 01:01:26,721
I've got the ticket here
in my wallet
587
01:01:26,892 --> 01:01:28,302
and that's where
it's gonna stay.
588
01:01:28,476 --> 01:01:30,329
- No, no, Mr. Martin, sit down.
- You just arrived. Yes.
589
01:01:30,353 --> 01:01:32,765
You know, you never
come around to see us.
590
01:01:32,939 --> 01:01:35,271
And we're always
so glad to see you.
591
01:01:35,442 --> 01:01:38,309
Uh, why don't you make
yourself comfortable?
592
01:01:38,486 --> 01:01:40,317
- Go on. Take off your coat.
- Alright.
593
01:01:40,488 --> 01:01:42,945
Sure, take it off.
It's hot in here, you know.
594
01:01:43,116 --> 01:01:45,448
Oh, it's so wrinkled.
I could press it for you.
595
01:01:45,619 --> 01:01:47,325
Oh, thank you.
596
01:01:47,495 --> 01:01:49,235
Mm! The pants is wrinkled, too.
597
01:01:49,414 --> 01:01:50,995
I could press the whole
suit in a jiffy.
598
01:01:51,166 --> 01:01:53,157
- Oh, no, never mind.
- Sure. Take off your pants.
599
01:01:53,335 --> 01:01:54,871
Never mind the pants.
600
01:01:55,045 --> 01:01:56,898
If it'll make you feel at home,
I'll take off mine.
601
01:01:56,922 --> 01:01:58,787
Oh, no, no, just press the coat.
602
01:01:58,965 --> 01:02:00,455
Do you know
that I have a feeling
603
01:02:00,634 --> 01:02:02,465
that this ticket's gonna win?
604
01:02:04,429 --> 01:02:05,885
Pardon me. I don't feel so good.
605
01:02:06,056 --> 01:02:08,092
Come in.
606
01:02:08,266 --> 01:02:09,722
Here, Mr. Martin.
Sit down again.
607
01:02:09,893 --> 01:02:11,508
Have an apple. = oh, thanks.
608
01:02:11,686 --> 01:02:12,926
Cablegram, Mrs. ederman.
609
01:02:13,104 --> 01:02:14,935
- Congratulations.
- Thank you. Beat it!
610
01:02:24,449 --> 01:02:25,564
Oi!
611
01:02:25,742 --> 01:02:27,182
Why did he offer you
congratulations?
612
01:02:27,244 --> 01:02:28,700
A relative died.
613
01:02:28,870 --> 01:02:31,236
- Oh, that's too bad.
- Yeah, it's terrible, ain't it?
614
01:02:31,414 --> 01:02:33,951
- Now I'm gonna press your coat.
- Thank you.
615
01:02:38,380 --> 01:02:40,541
Monty. Monty.
616
01:02:40,715 --> 01:02:46,051
A London syndicate is offering
us $25,000 for the ticket.
617
01:02:46,221 --> 01:02:47,836
And we ain't got the ticket.
618
01:02:49,808 --> 01:02:51,594
Talk. Talk.
619
01:02:51,768 --> 01:02:53,850
- Talk, talk. Talk, talk.
- Well, I...
620
01:02:54,020 --> 01:02:56,181
Don't say a word.
Don't say a word.
621
01:02:56,356 --> 01:02:58,722
The trouble with you,
you get too excited.
622
01:02:58,900 --> 01:03:00,640
Don't get excited!
623
01:03:13,164 --> 01:03:16,156
Don't get excited.
Don't get excited.
624
01:03:16,334 --> 01:03:20,373
Hold yourself together.
Don't go to pieces.
625
01:03:20,547 --> 01:03:22,083
Hold yourself together.
626
01:03:25,051 --> 01:03:26,882
You alright? = fine.
627
01:03:31,016 --> 01:03:33,177
What'll we do? What'll we do?
628
01:03:33,351 --> 01:03:36,434
Let's tell him the truth. Maybe
he'll give us half the money.
629
01:03:36,604 --> 01:03:39,095
Poison, he'll give us.
630
01:03:39,274 --> 01:03:41,606
That's what's the trouble
with you.
631
01:03:41,776 --> 01:03:45,018
You get excited.
You go to pieces.
632
01:03:46,406 --> 01:03:48,021
I got an idea.
633
01:03:48,199 --> 01:03:51,942
If we get excited,
he'll get suspicious.
634
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:54,862
So we'll go in there,
and we'll act very nonchalantly.
635
01:03:55,040 --> 01:03:56,951
- You know, nhamby-pamby.
- Pamby-namby?
636
01:03:57,125 --> 01:04:00,538
See, like nothing happened.
Wait, where's a cigarette?
637
01:04:00,712 --> 01:04:03,545
Here. Here.
Put a cigarette in there.
638
01:04:03,715 --> 01:04:05,671
Now laugh. Laugh like
you told me a funny story.
639
01:04:05,842 --> 01:04:07,798
Like nothing happened. Laugh.
640
01:04:10,638 --> 01:04:13,175
Mrs. ederman: Oh, monty.
641
01:04:13,350 --> 01:04:16,683
That was the funniest story.
642
01:04:16,853 --> 01:04:19,435
Tell it to him.
643
01:04:19,606 --> 01:04:21,847
Mr. Martin, my wife
is so in love
644
01:04:22,025 --> 01:04:23,265
with that sweepstake ticket.
645
01:04:23,443 --> 01:04:25,900
Not that it means anything,
just a whim.
646
01:04:26,071 --> 01:04:28,232
Mr. Martin, if that ticket did
win, what would you do?
647
01:04:28,406 --> 01:04:32,740
I'd hop on a boat, go over to
Ireland and collect the money.
648
01:04:32,911 --> 01:04:35,493
Monty. Monty.
649
01:04:38,208 --> 01:04:40,745
Monty, it didn't work.
650
01:04:40,919 --> 01:04:44,161
We was too namby-pamby.
Now what'll we do?
651
01:04:44,339 --> 01:04:46,705
Honesty is the best policy.
Let's tell him the truth.
652
01:04:46,883 --> 01:04:48,248
There must be an easier way.
653
01:04:48,426 --> 01:04:49,882
George Washington
told the truth.
654
01:04:50,053 --> 01:04:51,463
Did he win a sweepstakes?
655
01:04:51,638 --> 01:04:55,130
Besides, this man
is holding back our property.
656
01:04:55,308 --> 01:04:57,640
- Here. Take this vase.
- What for?
657
01:04:57,811 --> 01:05:01,804
Just a light tap. Not hard.
Just a little tap on his head.
658
01:05:01,981 --> 01:05:04,222
- Don't break the vase.
- Why should I hit him?
659
01:05:04,401 --> 01:05:07,063
Say he tried to kiss me.
= who would believe it?
660
01:05:07,237 --> 01:05:10,445
I can dream, can't I? Wait!
661
01:05:10,615 --> 01:05:12,526
I know how to get the ticket.
662
01:05:12,700 --> 01:05:14,315
I'll flirt with him.
663
01:05:14,494 --> 01:05:17,952
Oi, if I only had a sweater.
664
01:05:18,123 --> 01:05:19,238
I'll take this.
665
01:05:21,042 --> 01:05:23,624
I'll get that ticket
or my middle name ain't Violet.
666
01:05:23,795 --> 01:05:26,332
I'll captivate him.
667
01:05:26,506 --> 01:05:29,873
Am I captivating?
= I never noticed it before.
668
01:05:30,051 --> 01:05:31,712
Norma, I think you've got
something there,
669
01:05:31,886 --> 01:05:33,092
but don't go too far.
670
01:05:33,263 --> 01:05:36,380
No, just far enough
to get the ticket.
671
01:05:44,774 --> 01:05:46,935
What's the matter?
Did you hurt yourself?
672
01:05:47,110 --> 01:05:48,316
No.
673
01:05:49,946 --> 01:05:52,062
You know, Mr. Martin,
674
01:05:52,240 --> 01:05:58,156
I find life
just too dull for words.
675
01:05:58,329 --> 01:06:00,490
- Ain't you?
- What?
676
01:06:00,665 --> 01:06:04,374
All my life. All my life...
677
01:06:04,544 --> 01:06:07,707
I've been languishing
away in this terrible flat.
678
01:06:07,881 --> 01:06:09,024
What's the matter,
is there something wrong
679
01:06:09,048 --> 01:06:10,663
with the plumbing?
680
01:06:10,842 --> 01:06:14,960
No, it's not that.
It's my husband.
681
01:06:15,138 --> 01:06:16,969
Mrs. ederman: He don't
understand me.
682
01:06:17,140 --> 01:06:18,926
Oh, is that so?
683
01:06:19,100 --> 01:06:23,218
Well, do you know, Mrs. ederman,
you're looking very attractive.
684
01:06:23,396 --> 01:06:27,105
You think so?
Guchi, guchi, guchi.
685
01:06:27,275 --> 01:06:29,641
Would you
like to loll away the time?
686
01:06:29,819 --> 01:06:31,104
Yes.
687
01:06:31,279 --> 01:06:33,736
Shall I turn on the radio,
and we'll dance?
688
01:06:33,907 --> 01:06:36,239
- Yes.
- And we'll have a good time?
689
01:06:38,912 --> 01:06:41,904
- Can you do the jitterbug?
- Well, I'll take a chance.
690
01:06:42,081 --> 01:06:44,538
Ah, Spanish, senor Martin.
691
01:06:44,709 --> 01:06:46,370
You know, my grandfather
was a spaniard.
692
01:06:46,544 --> 01:06:47,875
Si?
693
01:07:19,202 --> 01:07:22,069
So that's what you're up to,
huh? The old badger game.
694
01:07:22,247 --> 01:07:24,954
Well, you'll not get away with
it, I'll have you both arrested.
695
01:07:25,124 --> 01:07:26,989
Oh, please don't
do that, Mr. Martin.
696
01:07:27,168 --> 01:07:29,124
I might as well
tell you the truth.
697
01:07:29,295 --> 01:07:32,458
That ticket you've got
won the sweepstakes.
698
01:07:32,632 --> 01:07:36,591
And they're offering
$25,000 for it.
699
01:07:36,761 --> 01:07:39,673
You mean this ticket won?
= it won.
700
01:07:44,811 --> 01:07:46,767
You're right, monty.
701
01:07:46,938 --> 01:07:50,055
Honesty is the best policy.
702
01:09:11,814 --> 01:09:15,978
J love can be
a moment's madness j
703
01:09:16,152 --> 01:09:19,895
j love can be insane j
704
01:09:20,073 --> 01:09:26,820
j love can be a life
of sadness and pain j
705
01:09:28,164 --> 01:09:32,248
j love can be a summer shower j
706
01:09:32,418 --> 01:09:36,206
j love can be the sun j
707
01:09:36,381 --> 01:09:43,128
j love can be two hearts
that flower as one j
708
01:09:44,722 --> 01:09:48,681
jmt can j
709
01:09:48,851 --> 01:09:53,015
j be fine and free j
710
01:09:53,189 --> 01:09:56,898
j but it's true j
711
01:09:57,068 --> 01:10:01,186
j it doesn't always
happen to you! J
712
01:10:01,364 --> 01:10:05,323
j love can be a dying Amber j
713
01:10:05,493 --> 01:10:09,361
j love can be a flame j
714
01:10:09,539 --> 01:10:13,248
j love pledged in September j
715
01:10:13,418 --> 01:10:17,582
j may be dead in December! J
716
01:10:17,755 --> 01:10:21,543
j you may not even remember j
717
01:10:21,718 --> 01:10:25,506
j it came! J
718
01:10:25,680 --> 01:10:30,219
j oh, love can be
a joy forever j
719
01:10:30,393 --> 01:10:34,011
j or an empty name! J
720
01:10:34,188 --> 01:10:41,026
j love is almost
never ever the same! J
721
01:10:54,625 --> 01:10:59,085
J oh, love can
be a cup of sorrow j
722
01:10:59,255 --> 01:11:03,089
j love can be a lie j
723
01:11:03,259 --> 01:11:07,218
j love can make you
wake tomorrow j
724
01:11:07,388 --> 01:11:11,222
j and sigh j
725
01:11:11,392 --> 01:11:15,305
j love can be
a snow-capped mountain j
726
01:11:15,480 --> 01:11:19,223
j love can be the truth j
727
01:11:19,400 --> 01:11:22,483
j love can be an endless j
728
01:11:22,653 --> 01:11:27,693
j fountain of youth j
729
01:11:27,867 --> 01:11:31,826
j it can be j
730
01:11:31,996 --> 01:11:35,864
j ecstasy j
731
01:11:36,042 --> 01:11:39,660
j but that kind j
732
01:11:39,837 --> 01:11:43,125
j is not so very easy to find! J
733
01:11:43,299 --> 01:11:48,043
j oh, love can be
a tinkling cymbal j
734
01:11:48,221 --> 01:11:52,305
j love can be a dirge j
735
01:11:52,475 --> 01:11:56,138
j love may seem amusing j
736
01:11:56,312 --> 01:12:00,225
j a spark constantly fusing j
737
01:12:00,399 --> 01:12:04,187
j but it may end up by losing j
738
01:12:04,362 --> 01:12:07,729
j its urge! J
739
01:12:07,907 --> 01:12:12,901
j oh, love can be
a sweet endeavor j
740
01:12:13,079 --> 01:12:17,072
j or a dirty shame! [J
741
01:12:17,250 --> 01:12:23,837
j love is almost never ever j
742
01:12:24,006 --> 01:12:30,343
j the same! Jj
743
01:12:52,118 --> 01:12:55,281
This is the clumsy
television broadcasting system.
744
01:12:55,454 --> 01:12:57,099
When you hear the musical note
will somebody
745
01:12:57,123 --> 01:12:59,034
call me up and tell me
what time it is?
746
01:13:01,544 --> 01:13:02,896
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
747
01:13:02,920 --> 01:13:04,160
Lovely evening, isn't it?
748
01:13:04,338 --> 01:13:06,124
Wheel your mother-in-law
close to the radio,
749
01:13:06,299 --> 01:13:09,507
because this is
the "guzzler's gin program.”
750
01:13:09,677 --> 01:13:11,530
Have you tried guzzler's?
It comes in two sizes.
751
01:13:11,554 --> 01:13:13,670
The college size
and the jumbo elephant size.
752
01:13:13,848 --> 01:13:16,590
With guzzler's
there's no bad taste, no af...
753
01:13:22,773 --> 01:13:25,685
No bad taste, no after-effect,
no upsetting the nerves,
754
01:13:25,860 --> 01:13:28,192
just a nice smooth drink.
755
01:13:28,362 --> 01:13:30,444
Pour a little in your glass
and drink it right down.
756
01:13:30,615 --> 01:13:32,571
But be sure and ask
for guzzler's gin,
757
01:13:32,742 --> 01:13:35,279
a nice smooth drink.
758
01:13:48,382 --> 01:13:50,043
Guzz...
759
01:13:50,217 --> 01:13:51,753
Guzzler's gin, friends.
760
01:13:51,928 --> 01:13:53,384
Drink a little after dinner.
761
01:13:53,554 --> 01:13:56,887
Drink some before and you won't
have to eat any dinner.
762
01:13:57,058 --> 01:13:59,138
I'll be back in a moment
with more from our sponsors.
763
01:13:59,226 --> 01:14:01,558
In the meantime, here is our
guest star of the evening,
764
01:14:01,729 --> 01:14:06,268
Mr., uh, Mr., um...
Mr. subpoena.
765
01:14:10,613 --> 01:14:14,105
J. Newton numbskull,
doctor of poetry.
766
01:14:14,283 --> 01:14:16,194
Thank you. Thank you.
767
01:14:16,369 --> 01:14:17,700
My first poem.
768
01:14:19,330 --> 01:14:20,661
"Greetings."
769
01:14:27,421 --> 01:14:29,833
My first poem, "algy."
770
01:14:30,007 --> 01:14:32,373
"Algy saw a bear,
the bear saw algy.
771
01:14:32,551 --> 01:14:35,463
The bear was bulgy,
the bulge was algy."
772
01:14:39,642 --> 01:14:42,805
And now back to our announcer
and more from our sponsors,
773
01:14:42,979 --> 01:14:45,516
guzzler's gin.
774
01:14:45,690 --> 01:14:47,806
Thank you, newty, thank you.
775
01:14:52,321 --> 01:14:56,109
This is the "guzzler's gin
program” you're looking at.
776
01:14:56,283 --> 01:14:58,945
Have you tried guzzler's?
It comes in two sizes.
777
01:14:59,120 --> 01:15:00,610
Get a college size.
778
01:15:00,788 --> 01:15:02,995
One bottle and you're in a class
by yourself.
779
01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,620
With guzzler's there's
no bad taste,
780
01:15:06,794 --> 01:15:11,538
no after-effect,
no upsetting the nerves,
781
01:15:11,716 --> 01:15:15,254
just a nice smooth drink.
782
01:15:18,806 --> 01:15:20,546
Pour a little in your glass...
783
01:15:25,396 --> 01:15:27,808
There goes my nails.
784
01:15:27,982 --> 01:15:30,348
Pour a little in your glass
and drink it right down.
785
01:15:30,526 --> 01:15:32,562
But be sure and ask
for guzzler's gin,
786
01:15:32,737 --> 01:15:35,854
a nice smooth drink.
787
01:15:40,619 --> 01:15:43,361
Oh, why can't I get
an oatmeal program?
788
01:15:45,082 --> 01:15:49,200
Guzzler's a nice smooth drink.
789
01:16:01,307 --> 01:16:03,468
Guzzler's gin, friends.
790
01:16:03,642 --> 01:16:06,850
It comes in five...
Two sizes, two sizes.
791
01:16:07,021 --> 01:16:10,354
Now back to our guest star,
j. Newton numbskull.
792
01:16:10,524 --> 01:16:13,357
Thank you, thank you,
you drunken tramp, you.
793
01:16:13,527 --> 01:16:16,564
My next poem.
794
01:16:16,739 --> 01:16:19,276
"Put 15 cents on number four..."
795
01:16:21,577 --> 01:16:24,785
My next poem, "the garters."
796
01:16:24,955 --> 01:16:27,617
"I bought my girl some garters
at the local five and ten.
797
01:16:27,792 --> 01:16:29,077
She gave them to her mother
798
01:16:29,251 --> 01:16:31,788
that's the last
I'll see of them."
799
01:16:37,760 --> 01:16:39,671
And now back to our announcer
who will sign off
800
01:16:39,845 --> 01:16:42,006
the "guzzler's gin program”.
801
01:16:53,859 --> 01:16:57,568
Smooth.
802
01:16:59,532 --> 01:17:03,445
Have you tried guzzler's?
It comes in 29 sizes.
803
01:17:05,037 --> 01:17:07,323
With guzzler's
you don't need a chaser.
804
01:17:07,498 --> 01:17:09,614
Nothin' could catch ya!
805
01:17:11,293 --> 01:17:13,204
Save money.
Get the jumbo elephant size.
806
01:17:13,379 --> 01:17:16,166
Only 25 cents a quart.
807
01:17:16,340 --> 01:17:19,252
Return the bottle
and get your 15 cents back.
808
01:17:20,511 --> 01:17:24,254
Smooth!
809
01:17:26,934 --> 01:17:29,721
Thought it was my tongue
hanging out.
810
01:17:29,895 --> 01:17:31,635
Pour a little in your glass...
811
01:17:43,868 --> 01:17:47,952
Smooth!
812
01:17:48,122 --> 01:17:50,267
Pour a little in your glass...
I'll get rid of it somehow.
813
01:17:50,291 --> 01:17:53,624
Pour a little in your glass
and drink it right down.
814
01:18:07,892 --> 01:18:10,884
Smooth!
815
01:18:47,640 --> 01:18:51,804
Jn limehouse j
816
01:18:51,977 --> 01:18:55,765
j where orientals
love to play! J
817
01:18:55,940 --> 01:19:00,149
jn limehouse j
818
01:19:00,319 --> 01:19:04,278
j where you can
hear those blues all day!
819
01:19:04,448 --> 01:19:08,657
J and they seem all around [j
820
01:19:08,827 --> 01:19:13,196
j like a long, long sigh! J
821
01:19:13,374 --> 01:19:18,289
j queer, sob, sigh j
822
01:19:18,462 --> 01:19:24,549
j oh honey lamb
they seem to cry j
823
01:19:26,762 --> 01:19:28,218
j such a lovely night j
824
01:19:28,389 --> 01:19:29,970
j and everything was
simply grand j
825
01:19:30,140 --> 01:19:31,721
j that is until last night
826
01:19:31,892 --> 01:19:33,382
j he pinched me, he pinched me j
827
01:19:33,560 --> 01:19:35,175
j and he wouldn't let me be j
828
01:19:35,354 --> 01:19:38,812
j I think he did it
just to make me feel silly! &'j
829
01:19:48,701 --> 01:19:51,784
J last night down
our alley came a toff j
830
01:19:51,954 --> 01:19:54,991
j nice old geezer
with a nasty cough
831
01:19:55,165 --> 01:19:58,032
j sees my misses, takes his... j
832
01:19:58,210 --> 01:20:01,122
j in a very gentlemanly way j
833
01:20:01,297 --> 01:20:04,585
j "ma'am," says he,
"I have some news to tell!" J
834
01:20:04,758 --> 01:20:07,716
j "your rich uncle Tom
of camberwell” j
835
01:20:07,886 --> 01:20:10,923
j "has popped off and really
now it ain't a sell!" J
836
01:20:11,098 --> 01:20:14,090
j "left to you
his little donkey shay!" J
837
01:20:14,268 --> 01:20:17,226
j "wot Cher,"
all the neighbors say! J
838
01:20:17,396 --> 01:20:18,932
j "who you going to meet,
bill? I
839
01:20:19,106 --> 01:20:20,506
j think you own the street,
bill?" J
840
01:20:20,649 --> 01:20:23,641
j laugh! I thought
I would've died! J
841
01:20:23,819 --> 01:20:26,686
j knocked him
in the old Kent road! J.J
842
01:21:41,063 --> 01:21:43,679
J oh, limehouse kid j
843
01:21:43,857 --> 01:21:49,147
j oh, oh, limehouse kid j
844
01:21:49,321 --> 01:21:51,562
j going the way j
845
01:21:51,740 --> 01:21:56,359
j that the rest of them did j
846
01:21:57,413 --> 01:22:00,450
j poor broken blossom j
847
01:22:00,624 --> 01:22:05,209
j and nobody's child j
848
01:22:05,379 --> 01:22:08,746
j haunting and taunting j
849
01:22:08,924 --> 01:22:15,011
j you're just
kind of wild, oh... j
850
01:22:15,180 --> 01:22:17,967
j oh, limehouse blues j
851
01:22:18,142 --> 01:22:23,262
j I've the real
limehouse blues j
852
01:22:23,439 --> 01:22:26,931
j learned from the Willow j
853
01:22:27,109 --> 01:22:31,318
j those sad China blues j
854
01:22:31,488 --> 01:22:35,356
j rings on your fingers j
855
01:22:35,534 --> 01:22:40,198
j; And tears for a crown j
856
01:22:40,372 --> 01:22:45,241
j that is the story j
857
01:22:45,419 --> 01:22:47,330
j of old j
858
01:22:47,504 --> 01:22:53,545
j Chinatown jj
859
01:31:12,133 --> 01:31:18,845
J rings on your fingers j
860
01:31:19,015 --> 01:31:25,352
j; And tears for a crown j
861
01:31:26,856 --> 01:31:33,398
j that is the story j
862
01:31:35,031 --> 01:31:41,778
j of old Chinatown! J.J
863
01:32:14,029 --> 01:32:16,987
J we are here
to interview a lady j
864
01:32:17,157 --> 01:32:20,820
j known to you
because of her ability j
865
01:32:20,994 --> 01:32:24,327
j as the glamorous amorous lady
they call... j
866
01:32:24,497 --> 01:32:27,910
she's expecting you, gentlemen.
Won't you come in?
867
01:32:28,084 --> 01:32:31,497
J now we don't mean Greta
and we don't mean Bette j
868
01:32:31,671 --> 01:32:34,913
j or Loretta
or the song of bernadetta j
869
01:32:35,091 --> 01:32:38,549
j we mean the fabulous dabulous
lady they call... j
870
01:32:38,720 --> 01:32:41,803
the other gentlemen are here.
Please come in.
871
01:32:41,973 --> 01:32:43,804
J she's news j
872
01:32:43,975 --> 01:32:45,556
j she's front-page stuff j
873
01:32:45,727 --> 01:32:47,137
j she's headlines j
874
01:32:47,312 --> 01:32:48,848
j she's tops j
875
01:32:49,022 --> 01:32:53,140
j and in advance the critics
are all in accord j
876
01:32:53,318 --> 01:32:56,151
j she's gonna win the next
academy award j
877
01:32:56,321 --> 01:32:57,857
j all her fans
will be delighted j
878
01:32:58,031 --> 01:32:59,646
j not to mention quite excited j
879
01:32:59,824 --> 01:33:03,157
j at her personal appearance
presently j
880
01:33:03,328 --> 01:33:06,741
j she's stupendious, tremendious
collosical, terrifical j
881
01:33:06,915 --> 01:33:10,407
j she's got it, but definitely j
882
01:33:10,585 --> 01:33:16,046
j the glamorous amorous lady j
883
01:33:16,216 --> 01:33:20,459
j they call... j
884
01:33:20,637 --> 01:33:23,003
shh!
885
01:34:01,928 --> 01:34:05,420
Flibbins, what is all this?
886
01:34:05,598 --> 01:34:08,135
Flibbins: The gentlemen
of the press, milady.
887
01:34:09,310 --> 01:34:12,052
Darlings.
888
01:34:12,230 --> 01:34:17,600
How utterly charming of you
to have dropped in like this.
889
01:34:17,777 --> 01:34:22,692
How delightfully informal of you
to have dropped in like this.
890
01:34:24,701 --> 01:34:29,821
I mean, how perfectly marvelous
of you to have...
891
01:34:31,332 --> 01:34:36,417
Well, you have dropped in,
haven't you?
892
01:34:36,588 --> 01:34:38,499
And I...
893
01:34:38,673 --> 01:34:41,380
Well, gentlemen...
894
01:34:41,551 --> 01:34:45,885
You have caught me pitifully
unprepared.
895
01:34:57,525 --> 01:35:00,437
And now you may rise.
896
01:35:02,572 --> 01:35:05,780
And now you may rise.
897
01:35:05,950 --> 01:35:09,192
Oh, oh. Come. Get up, get up,
get up, get up.
898
01:35:09,370 --> 01:35:10,655
Let's get on with this.
899
01:35:10,830 --> 01:35:13,822
There. Now, that's better,
isn't it?
900
01:35:15,376 --> 01:35:18,118
Gentlemen of the press,
901
01:35:18,296 --> 01:35:20,332
members of the fourth estate,
902
01:35:20,506 --> 01:35:21,916
what can I do for you?
903
01:35:22,091 --> 01:35:23,877
Tell me, pray do.
904
01:35:24,052 --> 01:35:26,964
J oh, glamorous lady j
905
01:35:27,138 --> 01:35:29,720
j oh, amorous lady j
906
01:35:29,891 --> 01:35:32,428
j oh, hamorous lady j
907
01:35:32,602 --> 01:35:36,060
j here's to you j
908
01:35:37,649 --> 01:35:40,265
j and humbly we're here to j
909
01:35:40,443 --> 01:35:43,105
j quite mumbly we're here to j
910
01:35:43,279 --> 01:35:45,816
j hum-drumly we're here j
911
01:35:45,990 --> 01:35:51,326
j to interview you j
912
01:35:56,459 --> 01:35:59,451
J we're here to pry
into your private life j
913
01:35:59,629 --> 01:36:01,870
j we're here to seek
your every secret j
914
01:36:02,048 --> 01:36:05,961
j we're here to scoop a scoop,
obviously! J
915
01:36:06,135 --> 01:36:08,877
j what is your next
vehi-hi-hicle to be? J
916
01:36:10,890 --> 01:36:14,508
this is much too much.
917
01:36:14,686 --> 01:36:19,146
A sort of a bit of a go
and touch.
918
01:36:19,315 --> 01:36:21,226
But confidentially, gentlemen,
919
01:36:21,401 --> 01:36:23,483
and this is off the record,
of course.
920
01:36:23,653 --> 01:36:24,768
All: Of course.
921
01:36:26,114 --> 01:36:29,447
But about my next picture...
922
01:36:31,286 --> 01:36:34,403
I'm faced
with a curious problem.
923
01:36:36,457 --> 01:36:41,201
Shall I always be dramatic?
924
01:36:41,379 --> 01:36:44,337
Biographically emphatic?
925
01:36:44,507 --> 01:36:50,173
Should I devote my life
to the legitimate art?
926
01:36:50,346 --> 01:36:54,635
Or should I do
what I'd adore so?
927
01:36:54,809 --> 01:36:57,846
Do my acting with my torso
928
01:36:58,021 --> 01:37:01,479
and give all the natives
a start?
929
01:37:01,649 --> 01:37:05,392
Must the roles I play be tragic?
930
01:37:05,570 --> 01:37:09,609
Full of Oscar-winning magic?
931
01:37:09,782 --> 01:37:15,027
Should I drain the cup of drama
to its dregs?
932
01:37:16,956 --> 01:37:21,416
Or do you think
it is permissible
933
01:37:21,586 --> 01:37:24,828
to be, for once, quite kissable?
934
01:37:25,006 --> 01:37:27,088
And give them a peep of my legs?
935
01:37:31,137 --> 01:37:37,758
I'd like to be a pinup girl,
a cheesecake girl, too.
936
01:37:37,935 --> 01:37:44,056
And what is ginger Rogers
that I am not?
937
01:37:44,233 --> 01:37:50,194
And what has Betty grable got
that I haven't got?
938
01:37:50,365 --> 01:37:53,857
Oh, the cinema must exhibit me
939
01:37:54,035 --> 01:37:56,993
in roles that so inhibit me,
940
01:37:57,163 --> 01:38:00,576
I feel, well,
I feel just like a soldier
941
01:38:00,750 --> 01:38:03,617
out of step. Yes.
942
01:38:03,795 --> 01:38:08,459
But would the episode
outlive me?
943
01:38:08,633 --> 01:38:12,592
Would my public
quite forgive me?
944
01:38:12,762 --> 01:38:18,302
If I tried to show the world
I'm really hep?
945
01:38:22,146 --> 01:38:24,011
Oh, but now, you darlings.
946
01:38:24,190 --> 01:38:27,273
You adorable dear, dear boys.
947
01:38:27,443 --> 01:38:30,025
I'm going to tell you all...
948
01:38:30,196 --> 01:38:33,233
About my next picture.
949
01:38:33,408 --> 01:38:37,117
What is my next picture?
950
01:38:37,286 --> 01:38:38,726
No, no, don't tell me,
don't tell me.
951
01:38:38,830 --> 01:38:40,036
Shh, shh, shh.
952
01:38:40,206 --> 01:38:42,948
Excuse me, darling. Here.
953
01:38:49,799 --> 01:38:52,131
"Madame crematante.”
954
01:38:53,970 --> 01:38:56,712
"Madame crematante”,
gentlemen...
955
01:38:56,889 --> 01:39:00,882
Will be a monumental
biographical tribute
956
01:39:01,060 --> 01:39:04,973
to a monumental
biographical woman.
957
01:39:05,148 --> 01:39:06,684
Who...
958
01:39:06,858 --> 01:39:10,316
Toiled... searched...
959
01:39:10,486 --> 01:39:13,819
Starved... slaved...
960
01:39:15,116 --> 01:39:16,777
Suffered...
961
01:39:18,244 --> 01:39:20,155
Pioneered...
962
01:39:20,329 --> 01:39:22,490
So that the world...
963
01:39:22,665 --> 01:39:25,657
You... and I...
964
01:39:25,835 --> 01:39:28,952
Could reap the benefits of her
magnificent discovery,
965
01:39:29,130 --> 01:39:30,870
the safety pin.
966
01:39:33,926 --> 01:39:37,965
The story
starts in a dark, dank,
967
01:39:38,139 --> 01:39:41,552
dingy tenement in Amsterdam.
968
01:39:42,935 --> 01:39:44,846
Holland, you know.
969
01:39:45,021 --> 01:39:47,512
In the flat of a poor
impoverished family,
970
01:39:47,690 --> 01:39:50,432
but of rather good antecedents.
971
01:39:50,610 --> 01:39:55,070
Gretchen crematante was
a very brave and noble woman,
972
01:39:55,239 --> 01:39:59,152
who against the wishes of her
father, the baron, you know,
973
01:39:59,327 --> 01:40:04,412
married this young inventor who
didn't have a sou, penniless.
974
01:40:04,582 --> 01:40:06,948
J and there they were
in Amsterdam j
975
01:40:07,126 --> 01:40:08,126
j'in Amsterdam? J
976
01:40:08,252 --> 01:40:09,458
j yes, there they were j
977
01:40:09,629 --> 01:40:11,961
j in a dark and dingy
tenement flat j
978
01:40:12,131 --> 01:40:14,372
j with no food and no heat j
979
01:40:14,550 --> 01:40:16,916
j and no money
for to pay the rent j
980
01:40:17,094 --> 01:40:18,129
j but did they care? J
981
01:40:18,304 --> 01:40:19,760
j no, they don't care! J
982
01:40:19,931 --> 01:40:21,467
j madame crematante
she don't care j
983
01:40:21,641 --> 01:40:24,007
j 'cause she seen the light
just the other day j
984
01:40:24,185 --> 01:40:26,517
j since then she been trying
for to find a way j
985
01:40:26,687 --> 01:40:28,723
j for to bring to the world
a big invent j
986
01:40:28,898 --> 01:40:31,977
j and so she did! J
987
01:40:32,151 --> 01:40:33,871
j whoop Dee doodee,
madame crematante did! J
988
01:40:33,903 --> 01:40:36,440
j she toiled and strived
and sweat, and slaved j
989
01:40:36,614 --> 01:40:38,696
j a-stretchin' her mind
and beginnin" to rave j
990
01:40:38,866 --> 01:40:41,323
j but the price she paid
was worth the pain j
991
01:40:41,494 --> 01:40:43,576
j for on a cold
and frosty morn j
992
01:40:43,746 --> 01:40:44,746
j oh, no j
993
01:40:44,872 --> 01:40:46,988
j the safety pin was born j
994
01:40:47,166 --> 01:40:55,166
j hallelujah, hallelujah,
hallelu-lu-lu-lu-jah! J&
995
01:40:56,133 --> 01:40:58,715
j shout hallelujah
and a big amen j
996
01:40:58,886 --> 01:41:00,672
j for the lady
with the safety pin j
997
01:41:00,846 --> 01:41:02,677
j she really rocks about
and gives you j
998
01:41:02,848 --> 01:41:04,509
j what more do you want? J
999
01:41:04,684 --> 01:41:05,684
j madame crematante! J
1000
01:41:05,810 --> 01:41:10,724
j hallelujah, hallelujah! J
1001
01:41:10,898 --> 01:41:13,605
j hola, hola, hola j
1002
01:41:15,486 --> 01:41:16,726
j scream and shout j
1003
01:41:16,904 --> 01:41:18,360
j who cares
what it's all about? J
1004
01:41:18,531 --> 01:41:19,891
j just as long
as you're stompin' j
1005
01:41:19,949 --> 01:41:21,134
j and jivin' and gassin'
and gabbin' j
1006
01:41:21,158 --> 01:41:22,489
j and jammin' and jumpin' j
1007
01:41:22,660 --> 01:41:25,026
j when you talk about
the safety pin! J
1008
01:41:25,204 --> 01:41:27,069
j who's got the safety pin? J
1009
01:41:27,248 --> 01:41:28,738
j slip me the safety pin j
1010
01:41:28,916 --> 01:41:30,281
j no doubt about it j
1011
01:41:30,459 --> 01:41:32,074
j no baby can do without j
1012
01:41:32,253 --> 01:41:36,458
j the safety pin,
the safety pin j
1013
01:41:36,632 --> 01:41:38,668
j the safety pin,
madame crematante j
1014
01:41:38,843 --> 01:41:40,708
j she's a lady
who was heaven-sent j
1015
01:41:40,886 --> 01:41:42,877
j she's the lady
with the big invent j
1016
01:41:52,523 --> 01:41:54,479
J safety pin j
I madame crematante j
1017
01:41:54,650 --> 01:42:01,858
j she's the lady with the big
invent, madame crematante j
1018
01:42:02,033 --> 01:42:03,489
j the big invent j
1019
01:42:03,659 --> 01:42:08,528
j oh-ah j
1020
01:42:08,706 --> 01:42:14,793
j oh-ah, oh-ah, oh-ah! Jj
1021
01:42:55,294 --> 01:42:56,294
Uh, huh.
1022
01:42:56,379 --> 01:42:57,710
How are you? = hello.
1023
01:43:02,885 --> 01:43:05,547
Say, you're, uh, uh,
Fred Astaire.
1024
01:43:05,721 --> 01:43:07,427
- Hello.
- That's right. Hello.
1025
01:43:07,598 --> 01:43:11,307
Uh, I'm sorry,
I... I can't quite place you.
1026
01:43:11,477 --> 01:43:12,757
What line of business
are you in?
1027
01:43:14,563 --> 01:43:17,100
Well, uh, I dance.
1028
01:43:17,274 --> 01:43:19,606
Oh, at home for the folks,
picnics and that kind of thing?
1029
01:43:19,777 --> 01:43:23,065
Oh, no, no, in public.
= on street corners?
1030
01:43:23,239 --> 01:43:24,479
Oh, oh, no. On the screen.
1031
01:43:24,657 --> 01:43:26,318
Motion pictures. = oh! Oh.
1032
01:43:26,492 --> 01:43:29,404
You do go to pictures that have
dancing in them, don't you?
1033
01:43:29,578 --> 01:43:31,785
Why, I try to see them all.
I go as often as I can.
1034
01:43:31,956 --> 01:43:33,947
Did you see a picture called
"cover girl?"
1035
01:43:34,125 --> 01:43:36,036
Yes.
1036
01:43:36,210 --> 01:43:38,542
Well, who did
all the dancing in that?
1037
01:43:40,381 --> 01:43:42,121
You're not Rita Hayworth?
1038
01:43:43,676 --> 01:43:48,295
No, I'm not, ginger.
1039
01:43:48,472 --> 01:43:51,054
- Ah.
- Ah.
1040
01:43:51,225 --> 01:43:52,619
- Well, so long, gene.
- See you around.
1041
01:43:52,643 --> 01:43:54,383
I've got a little number
to do here.
1042
01:43:54,562 --> 01:43:55,597
- You have?
- Well, sure.
1043
01:43:55,771 --> 01:43:57,011
Here? = sure.
1044
01:43:57,189 --> 01:43:58,804
Well, say, why don't we just
1045
01:43:58,983 --> 01:44:00,585
ad-lib a little something
together then, huh?
1046
01:44:00,609 --> 01:44:02,850
- Whip it up here on the spot?
- Throw it away.
1047
01:44:03,028 --> 01:44:05,189
Like the one we've been
rehearsing for two weeks.
1048
01:44:05,364 --> 01:44:07,104
- Ahh!
- Ahh!
1049
01:44:07,283 --> 01:44:10,696
J a babbitt met a bromide
on the Avenue one day j
1050
01:44:10,870 --> 01:44:15,955
j and held a conversation
in their own peculiar way j
1051
01:44:16,125 --> 01:44:19,538
j they both were solid citizens,
they both had been around
1052
01:44:19,712 --> 01:44:21,327
j and as they spoke
you clearly saw j
1053
01:44:21,505 --> 01:44:23,416
j their feet
were on the ground j
1054
01:44:25,050 --> 01:44:26,665
j hello j j how are you? J
1055
01:44:28,637 --> 01:44:30,343
j I'm great! J j that's good! J
1056
01:44:30,514 --> 01:44:32,004
j ha-ha! Jl I knock wood! J
1057
01:44:32,183 --> 01:44:33,798
j well, well... j
j that's life! J
1058
01:44:33,976 --> 01:44:35,576
j what do you know? J
j how's the wife? J
1059
01:44:35,686 --> 01:44:37,267
j gotta run! J j oh, my!
1060
01:44:37,438 --> 01:44:38,438
J ta-ta! J I olive oil! J
1061
01:44:38,522 --> 01:44:39,728
j goodbye! J
1062
01:45:11,847 --> 01:45:15,510
J ten years went quickly by for
both these substiantial men j
1063
01:45:15,684 --> 01:45:19,222
j and then it happened that one
day they chanced to meet again j
1064
01:45:21,023 --> 01:45:22,308
j that they had both developed j
1065
01:45:22,483 --> 01:45:24,348
j in ten years
there was no doubt j
1066
01:45:24,527 --> 01:45:28,270
j and so of course, they had
an awful lot to talk about! J
1067
01:45:31,700 --> 01:45:33,565
j hello! J j how are you? J
1068
01:45:33,744 --> 01:45:35,405
j how's the folks? J
j what's new? J
1069
01:45:35,579 --> 01:45:37,194
j I'm great! J j that's good! J
1070
01:45:37,373 --> 01:45:38,954
j ha-ha! Jl I knock wood! J
1071
01:45:39,124 --> 01:45:40,739
j well, well... j
j that's life! J
1072
01:45:40,918 --> 01:45:42,658
j what do you know? J
j how's the wife? J
1073
01:45:42,837 --> 01:45:44,498
j gotta run! J j oh, my!
1074
01:45:44,672 --> 01:45:45,672
J ta-ta! J I olive oil! J
1075
01:45:45,714 --> 01:45:46,829
j goodbye! J
1076
01:46:50,529 --> 01:46:51,894
J before they met again j
1077
01:46:52,072 --> 01:46:54,154
j some 20 years they had to wait
1078
01:46:54,325 --> 01:46:57,613
j this time it happened up above
inside Saint Peter's gate
1079
01:46:59,663 --> 01:47:03,155
j a harp each one was carrying
and both were sprouting wings j
1080
01:47:03,334 --> 01:47:04,665
j and this what they said as j
1081
01:47:04,835 --> 01:47:07,167
j they were strumming
on the strings!
1082
01:47:10,674 --> 01:47:12,539
J hello! J j how are you? J
1083
01:47:12,718 --> 01:47:14,424
j how's the folks? J
j what's new? J
1084
01:47:14,595 --> 01:47:16,335
j I'm great! J j that's good! J
1085
01:47:16,513 --> 01:47:18,003
j ha-ha! Jl I knock wood! J
1086
01:47:18,182 --> 01:47:19,922
j well, well... j
j that's life! J
1087
01:47:20,100 --> 01:47:21,806
j what do you know? J
j how's the wife? J
1088
01:47:21,977 --> 01:47:23,342
j gotta fly! J j oh, my!
1089
01:47:23,520 --> 01:47:24,520
J ta-ta! J I olive oil! J
1090
01:47:24,647 --> 01:47:25,807
j goodbye! Jj
1091
01:49:46,080 --> 01:49:50,699
J the gleam of a blue-white
moonlight j
1092
01:49:50,876 --> 01:49:55,836
j makes diamonds of the stars
in the sky j
1093
01:49:56,006 --> 01:50:01,091
j the gold of an Autumn sunset j
1094
01:50:01,261 --> 01:50:06,221
j colors a cloud passing by j
1095
01:50:06,391 --> 01:50:11,181
j the night says goodbye
to the morning
1096
01:50:11,355 --> 01:50:15,439
j and a heart says hello j
1097
01:50:15,609 --> 01:50:20,729
to a heart j
1098
01:50:20,906 --> 01:50:26,697
j all of these wonderful things
shall endure j
1099
01:50:26,870 --> 01:50:32,331
j they're works of art j
1100
01:50:32,501 --> 01:50:38,997
j there's beauty everywhere j
1101
01:50:39,174 --> 01:50:45,511
j that everyone can share j
1102
01:50:45,681 --> 01:50:52,302
j a lovely world
can be unfurled j
1103
01:50:52,479 --> 01:50:59,021
j to those who see and care j
1104
01:50:59,194 --> 01:51:05,815
j we search for beauty gay j
1105
01:51:05,993 --> 01:51:12,614
j through every livelong day [j
1106
01:51:12,791 --> 01:51:15,999
j and then someone j
1107
01:51:16,170 --> 01:51:19,913
j comes into view j
1108
01:51:20,090 --> 01:51:26,802
j and suddenly
you find it's true j
1109
01:51:26,972 --> 01:51:33,810
j that love is beauty, too! J
1110
01:51:33,979 --> 01:51:37,221
j and then someone j
1111
01:51:37,399 --> 01:51:41,768
j comes into view j
1112
01:51:41,945 --> 01:51:48,692
j and suddenly
you find it's true j
1113
01:51:48,869 --> 01:51:51,952
j that love is j
1114
01:51:52,122 --> 01:51:56,115
j beauty j
1115
01:51:56,293 --> 01:52:03,210
j tool j
1116
01:54:05,547 --> 01:54:08,459
J and then someone j
1117
01:54:08,633 --> 01:54:12,842
j comes into view j
1118
01:54:13,013 --> 01:54:16,096
j and suddenly j
1119
01:54:16,266 --> 01:54:19,850
j you find it's true j
1120
01:54:20,020 --> 01:54:23,228
j that love is j
1121
01:54:23,398 --> 01:54:27,607
j beauty j
1122
01:54:27,778 --> 01:54:34,695
j too! J.J
77919
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