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I am about to tell you
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a beautiful story;
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a story that takes place
somewhere far away.
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A place where the temperature
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00:00:53,436 --> 00:00:56,621
is 58 degrees below zero.
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It is the coldest, darkest,
most barren place on earth.
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00:01:01,678 --> 00:01:04,111
I'm talking about Antarctica.
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Antarctica:
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you can get there from here,
but it's quite a journey.
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You'll want to bring a sweater,
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or maybe let your pubic hair
grow really long,
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00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,207
and wrap it around
your testicles.
13
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It's that cold.
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If you're a woman, you
wouldn't have testicles,
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00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:22,480
so you'd probably
let your pubic hair
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00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:25,500
grow really long
around your vagina.
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00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:27,185
Whatever your gender,
18
00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:32,139
Antarctica is a very
cold place to live.
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00:01:32,141 --> 00:01:37,162
But it's also one of the most
beautiful places on earth.
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00:01:42,586 --> 00:01:43,901
And if you're one
of those people
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who has both testicles
and a vagina,
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00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:49,424
you may not want to go
to Antarctica at all.
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00:01:49,426 --> 00:01:52,677
Amsterdam probably makes
more sense for what you are:
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00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:55,513
half-man, half-woman.
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00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:58,917
And analogous to being
a half-man, half-woman,
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Antarctica used to be
populated by thick bushes,
27
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:03,455
until millions of years ago,
28
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:07,242
when it slowly drifted to the
south-most point of the earth
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00:02:07,244 --> 00:02:09,443
where all hell froze over.
30
00:02:09,445 --> 00:02:12,564
America used to be populated
by thick bushes too
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00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:16,301
until they started bikini
waxes and Brazilian cuts.
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00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,836
Hmmm-hmmm...
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00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:20,355
I miss big bushes.
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00:02:22,625 --> 00:02:25,510
Antarctica is about
one and a half times
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00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:27,579
the size of the united states.
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00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:31,816
A claim once made
in the 1960s, by Cuba.
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00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,018
But this isn't a story
about a country
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00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:36,321
who's just waiting for
their next dictator to die.
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00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:39,774
This is a story about
the amazing creatures
40
00:02:39,776 --> 00:02:42,394
who for millions of
years have lived here
41
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:45,713
in mother earth's
frigid white anus.
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00:02:45,715 --> 00:02:49,100
This is a story about survival.
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00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:51,436
It is a story
about determination.
44
00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:55,307
But mainly, it is
a story about love,
45
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,292
penguin love.
46
00:02:57,294 --> 00:03:01,462
This is the...
47
00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:14,275
Whoo-hoo!
48
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:15,293
Ohhh!
49
00:03:15,295 --> 00:03:17,045
Whaa!
Oy!
50
00:03:17,047 --> 00:03:18,513
- Every January,
51
00:03:18,515 --> 00:03:19,964
thousands of male penguins
52
00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:21,615
go to the ocean to feed.
53
00:03:21,617 --> 00:03:23,284
Yes!
54
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:24,602
Giving them the
fuel and strength
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00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:26,771
to make the treacherous
journey back home,
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00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:28,607
where they will then
mate with the bitches
57
00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:30,024
they have yet to meet.
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00:03:30,026 --> 00:03:33,244
But those bitches are 4 months and 70 miles away.
59
00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:35,647
So for now, the males will bond.
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00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,849
But due to budgetary issues,
their mouths do not move,
61
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:40,835
yet we can hear their
every neurotic thought.
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00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:43,587
Jimmy, has it ever dawned on you
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00:03:43,589 --> 00:03:45,440
that we have major
eating disorders?
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00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:47,641
Carl,
everybody has an eating disorder.
65
00:03:47,643 --> 00:03:49,243
Yeah, but not like us.
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00:03:49,245 --> 00:03:51,312
We don't eat for 6 months,
and then we walk 70 miles,
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00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,897
fill our guts
till we're super-sized,
68
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,132
and then we walk back
70 miles to get laid.
69
00:03:55,134 --> 00:03:56,184
It's sick.
70
00:03:56,186 --> 00:03:57,468
Carl, when we get to the water,
71
00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:59,070
take a good look
at your reflection.
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00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,055
You're a penguin!
73
00:04:00,057 --> 00:04:01,606
You don't have
an eating disorder.
74
00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:02,823
You're a penguin.
75
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:04,425
We walk, we eat, we get laid.
76
00:04:04,427 --> 00:04:06,327
I just wish our lives were different.
77
00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,463
You make your own happiness,
my friend.
78
00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:10,448
I don't think that's
entirely true, Jimmy.
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00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:12,216
You don't think your own positive attitude
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00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:13,534
has a lot to do
with whether or not
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00:04:13,536 --> 00:04:15,569
the relationships in
your life are working?
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00:04:15,571 --> 00:04:16,888
If you accept responsibility
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00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,490
for your part of
the relationship.
84
00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:20,174
My own positive
attitude wasn't enough
85
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,377
to keep Valerie from leaving me.
86
00:04:22,379 --> 00:04:23,327
Remember?
87
00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:27,365
I'm leaving you, Carl.
88
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,701
Why, Valerie?
I thought we were doing so well.
89
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,302
I want a bigger house.
90
00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:32,553
A bigger house?
91
00:04:32,555 --> 00:04:34,171
What are you talking about?
92
00:04:34,173 --> 00:04:36,858
We live outdoors.
Your house can't get any bigger.
93
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:39,593
We just don't want
the same things, Carl.
94
00:04:39,595 --> 00:04:41,462
Obviously. You want
a bigger house.
95
00:04:41,464 --> 00:04:43,397
That's not even in
the realm of reality.
96
00:04:43,399 --> 00:04:44,382
Goodbye, Carl.
97
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:49,387
And the year before her: Amanda.
98
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:52,073
I have something to tell you, Carl.
99
00:04:52,075 --> 00:04:53,691
I cheated on you.
100
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:57,078
How? We've been standing right
next to each other for two months.
101
00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:00,364
While you were sleeping,
Vittorio came over and...
102
00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:02,233
we made love.
103
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:04,135
But I was standing right here.
104
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,003
That's why it's over, Carl.
105
00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:07,521
You didn't even wake up.
106
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,542
She had a point.
107
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,610
And the year before her: Esther.
108
00:05:14,197 --> 00:05:16,681
I can't be with someone
who doesn't keep kosher.
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00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:18,233
All I eat is fish, Esther.
110
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:19,617
What have I eaten
that's not kosher?
111
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:22,737
Have you eaten squid,
or octopus, or shrimp?
112
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:25,457
Yes, but I only eat once a year.
You can't begrudge me.
113
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:28,159
You might as well drive a stake through my heart, Carl.
114
00:05:29,479 --> 00:05:31,246
You've been choosing the wrong women, buddy.
115
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,980
You know,
a lot of people peak in high school
116
00:05:32,982 --> 00:05:34,599
and then everything
after that is downhill.
117
00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:36,601
Well, you just gotta get back to the old Carl,
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00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:38,536
the guy I knew when
we were younger,
119
00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:40,838
the guy who didn't care who he banged night to night.
120
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,707
Oooh!
I always cared.
121
00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:44,658
Oh, yeah, but now
you care too much.
122
00:05:44,660 --> 00:05:46,193
Sorry, buddy, if
I don't eat soon,
123
00:05:46,195 --> 00:05:47,679
I'm gonna pass out.
124
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,431
You boys ready to block your colons for three months?
125
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,216
Where you lead me,
I will go, Jimmy.
126
00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:54,018
I have no
discernible personality.
127
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,786
I just hope there's
sand dabs down there.
128
00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:58,423
Last year, some asshole
ate all the sand dabs.
129
00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:00,007
God, I love sand dabs.
130
00:06:00,009 --> 00:06:01,142
They're so good...
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00:06:01,144 --> 00:06:03,811
all succulent,
pan-fried with a little butter.
132
00:06:03,813 --> 00:06:05,913
Come on, men!
Let's fill our guts with fish
133
00:06:05,915 --> 00:06:07,164
and then get
us some... Ahhh!
134
00:06:08,485 --> 00:06:09,851
I'm right on your tail, Jimmy!
135
00:06:09,853 --> 00:06:11,202
I'm starving!
I'm horny.
136
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,219
I'm Sidney!
137
00:06:16,526 --> 00:06:19,027
Penguins are fascinating creatures.
138
00:06:19,029 --> 00:06:21,696
They are birds, but cannot fly.
139
00:06:21,698 --> 00:06:23,530
Nature really fucked us.
140
00:06:23,532 --> 00:06:25,499
Can't even jerk off.
141
00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:27,668
They live in the ocean,
but have to come up for air.
142
00:06:27,670 --> 00:06:30,137
Ow! Rocks.
Hurt. Stomach.
143
00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:31,973
Scratch. Rock. Raw!
144
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,741
Bleeding. Shit. Ah!
145
00:06:33,743 --> 00:06:36,311
Why... am... I...
doing this!
146
00:06:39,048 --> 00:06:41,699
It's a fun,
indulgent few months for them:
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00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:42,984
eating whenever they want to,
148
00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:44,268
no responsibilities,
149
00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:46,888
it's kind of like going to
the University of Miami.
150
00:06:46,890 --> 00:06:49,023
To get in there,
all you need is a 1.8,
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00:06:49,025 --> 00:06:50,374
a six-pack, and a bong.
152
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,828
The more you watch them,
the more you realize
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00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,730
how beautiful penguins are.
154
00:06:55,732 --> 00:06:57,798
Especially after you
see something like...
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00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:58,916
this.
156
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,185
Look at the face
on that poor thing.
157
00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:03,354
Not even his own mother
could love that.
158
00:07:06,542 --> 00:07:08,609
This can't be good for our internal organs.
159
00:07:08,611 --> 00:07:10,845
Stop bitching and start gorging, Carl.
160
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,530
We are officially underway.
161
00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:14,916
That's it?
Aren't we supposed to wait, like, 30 minutes
162
00:07:14,918 --> 00:07:16,701
before walking 70 miles?
163
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,569
You're such a pussy.
164
00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:20,571
Maybe that's why I love you.
165
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:22,290
God, it was freezing
down there, Jimmy.
166
00:07:22,292 --> 00:07:24,775
If I had testicles,
they'd be up inside my body right now.
167
00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:28,263
If you had testicles,
you'd be getting raped by a seal.
168
00:07:28,265 --> 00:07:29,914
No means no.
169
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:30,998
I don't know what that means.
170
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,733
It's a non sequitur, my friend.
171
00:07:32,735 --> 00:07:34,352
Not everything has
to have meaning.
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00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:36,637
Our lives should.
Ugh! Here we go...
173
00:07:36,639 --> 00:07:38,322
don't you ever think about anything, Jimmy?
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00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:39,774
Like why we live here.
175
00:07:39,776 --> 00:07:41,809
We could move to anywhere in the world we wanted to.
176
00:07:41,811 --> 00:07:43,110
Carl, where are we
going to move to,
177
00:07:43,112 --> 00:07:44,896
and how are we going
to get there, burrow?
178
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:47,748
It's not like we can go on the internet and find a deal.
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00:07:47,750 --> 00:07:48,800
This is what we do.
180
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,968
We walk 70 miles for sand dabs.
181
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,671
God, I love sand dabs.
They're so good.
182
00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:55,940
All succulent, pan-fried
with a little butter.
183
00:07:55,942 --> 00:07:56,991
I don't know.
184
00:07:56,993 --> 00:07:58,292
We could move to Los Angeles.
185
00:07:58,294 --> 00:08:00,895
All we do is walk.
Nobody walks in L.A.
186
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:03,814
new york?
You'd freeze your ass off in the winter.
187
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,767
Chicago?
Too windy.
188
00:08:05,769 --> 00:08:08,419
Palm springs?
I see dead people.
189
00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:10,137
Carl, the problem's
not where we live,
190
00:08:10,139 --> 00:08:11,772
the problem is what
you got going on
191
00:08:11,774 --> 00:08:14,141
inside that neurotic
little head of yours.
192
00:08:14,143 --> 00:08:15,426
It's hopeless, Jimmy.
193
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:17,127
If I was eaten by a
killer seal right now,
194
00:08:17,129 --> 00:08:18,546
nobody would even miss me.
195
00:08:18,548 --> 00:08:20,148
Hey, shithead!
196
00:08:20,150 --> 00:08:21,232
Ow!
197
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:22,316
I would miss you,
198
00:08:22,318 --> 00:08:24,318
all of our other friends
would miss you too.
199
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:25,903
Yeah! We'd miss you, Carl.
You go, girl.
200
00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:28,105
Oh, you gotta shake it off, bro.
201
00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:29,907
It's time to get
out of your slump.
202
00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:31,459
You're going to meet
somebody again.
203
00:08:31,461 --> 00:08:33,094
Maybe even the one.
204
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,946
Yeah,
the one of four who leaves me.
205
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,063
Listen, Carl,
206
00:08:36,065 --> 00:08:38,199
I can really help you
find a woman this year,
207
00:08:38,201 --> 00:08:40,818
but you've got to
help me help you.
208
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:42,637
You can't be so freakin' needy.
209
00:08:42,639 --> 00:08:43,871
You have to ask yourself,
210
00:08:43,873 --> 00:08:46,174
what are you really
looking for in a woman?
211
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:49,727
I just want someone who gets me
212
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:52,330
for who I am, not for
how much money I have,
213
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:53,965
or for the car that I drive,
214
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,516
or for the clothes that I wear,
215
00:08:55,518 --> 00:08:57,084
but for who I am inside.
216
00:08:57,086 --> 00:08:59,387
What the fuck are you talking about?
217
00:08:59,389 --> 00:09:01,455
It's a monologue for my acting class
218
00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:03,490
but it's how I really feel.
219
00:09:03,492 --> 00:09:05,043
Excellent scene!
220
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,260
Very moving!
221
00:09:06,262 --> 00:09:09,046
I really felt his pain.
222
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:10,164
Precious!
223
00:09:16,539 --> 00:09:18,606
Meanwhile,
back at the mating grounds,
224
00:09:18,608 --> 00:09:22,092
the air is colder than
a well digger's asshole.
225
00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:24,361
And the female penguins
are huddled together,
226
00:09:24,363 --> 00:09:25,546
trying to stay warm,
227
00:09:25,548 --> 00:09:28,215
waiting for the suitors
they've never met.
228
00:09:28,217 --> 00:09:30,117
It'd be nice to meet a guy this year
229
00:09:30,119 --> 00:09:32,219
who didn't just
want me for my body.
230
00:09:32,221 --> 00:09:33,821
They only want one thing, honey.
231
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,472
Stefan called me frigid
232
00:09:35,474 --> 00:09:37,408
'cause I didn't want to make a baby with him.
233
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,410
Aw, girl, out here
we're all frigid.
234
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,180
And he was just playin' you,
trying to get you puddin' pie.
235
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:43,981
Now, forgive me for saying this,
236
00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:46,084
but Stefan was an asshole.
237
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,535
I know.
238
00:09:47,537 --> 00:09:49,904
Why do I always fall
for the assholes?
239
00:09:49,906 --> 00:09:51,272
Oh, you're young yet, baby.
240
00:09:51,274 --> 00:09:52,456
It's normal.
241
00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:54,558
Trust me,
it's part of your feminine education.
242
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,310
And they're always
the cute ones.
243
00:09:56,312 --> 00:09:58,446
Oh, now wait a minute, bitch.
Not always!
244
00:09:58,448 --> 00:09:59,947
Remember when I dated Ralph?
245
00:09:59,949 --> 00:10:03,000
He was an asshole
and he was u-gly!
246
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:04,552
Why'd you go out with him?
247
00:10:04,554 --> 00:10:07,020
Well he used to tell me how beautiful I was all the time.
248
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:13,127
Vicky,
you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
249
00:10:13,129 --> 00:10:15,363
Well, thank you, Ralph.
250
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,698
Let's make love with our eyes closed.
251
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,666
Yeah, well that's the only way with you, Ralph.
252
00:10:21,804 --> 00:10:23,354
Whatever happened to him?
253
00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,989
I thought I told you about that.
254
00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:27,191
He got sat on by a walrus.
255
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,776
Smashed his head flat.
256
00:10:28,778 --> 00:10:30,511
He was never the
same afterwards.
257
00:10:30,513 --> 00:10:32,546
Oh, my god! It
didn't kill him?
258
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:34,131
Uh-uh...
not right away.
259
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,984
Girl, he died months later choking on a damn anchovy.
260
00:10:36,986 --> 00:10:39,787
His head was smashed so flat,
he couldn't even swallow it!
261
00:10:39,789 --> 00:10:42,039
Tsk. Oh, I'm
sorry, Vicky.
262
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:43,657
And I didn't think
he could get uglier,
263
00:10:43,659 --> 00:10:45,459
but damned if he didn't.
264
00:10:45,461 --> 00:10:47,311
I am so ready to
meet someone new.
265
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,797
Ugh! I'm so fed up
with the club scene.
266
00:10:49,799 --> 00:10:51,515
So are baby seals.
267
00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:52,950
I'm serious, Vicky.
268
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:55,185
It takes us months to get ready.
269
00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:57,755
We come to a spa like this one,
270
00:10:57,757 --> 00:10:59,824
get all dolled-up, fix our hair,
271
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,710
get our nails done,
get our eyebrows waxed,
272
00:11:02,712 --> 00:11:04,361
and what am I doing it all for?
273
00:11:04,363 --> 00:11:07,548
The guy I choose is just going to
turn out to be another asshole.
274
00:11:07,550 --> 00:11:09,617
Honey, my mama used to tell me,
275
00:11:09,619 --> 00:11:11,285
"they're all assholes,
276
00:11:11,287 --> 00:11:14,254
it's just a matter of which one you want to end up with."
277
00:11:22,532 --> 00:11:23,848
You know, I'm so full right now,
278
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,217
if I farted, a minnow
would pop out of my ass.
279
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,785
Don't try to gross me out, Jimmy.
280
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,203
I'd probably eat it too.
281
00:11:29,205 --> 00:11:30,721
Jimmy, stop it or I'll throw up.
282
00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:31,739
I'd probably eat that too.
283
00:11:31,741 --> 00:11:32,856
Shut up, will you!
284
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:34,491
Seriously, Carl,
I'll eat anything.
285
00:11:34,493 --> 00:11:36,560
I'm like a nanny goat.
286
00:11:36,562 --> 00:11:39,063
That was a good piece of
salmon yesterday, wasn't it?
287
00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:41,882
Why is it all we talk about is the last meal we ate?
288
00:11:41,884 --> 00:11:43,700
We talk about
breakfast during lunch,
289
00:11:43,702 --> 00:11:44,719
lunch during dinner,
290
00:11:44,721 --> 00:11:46,521
and dinner during breakfast.
291
00:11:46,523 --> 00:11:48,156
That is what we do, my friend.
292
00:11:48,158 --> 00:11:49,406
It's our heritage.
293
00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:51,709
Our parents did it,
their parents did it,
294
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,711
all my bastard children
are going to do it.
295
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,013
And you know what?
Our great-great-grandfathers
296
00:11:56,015 --> 00:11:58,015
stood on this very
spot 100 years ago,
297
00:11:58,017 --> 00:12:00,784
and had this exact
same conversation.
298
00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:06,073
That was a good piece of salmon yesterday, wasn't it?
299
00:12:06,075 --> 00:12:09,793
Why is it all we talk about is the last meal we ate?
300
00:12:13,532 --> 00:12:15,499
You okay?
Yeah, excuse me.
301
00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:17,317
I had a bone stuck in my throat.
302
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:22,006
That's what I'm saying.
We're not evolving.
303
00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:24,308
There's got to be
more to life than food.
304
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,644
We don't eat to live,
we live to eat.
305
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:28,746
We also live for sex.
306
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,163
Did someone say "sex"?
307
00:12:30,165 --> 00:12:32,466
I just show up on
cue when I hear that.
308
00:12:32,468 --> 00:12:34,034
Uh, hey, Sidney.
Hey, guys.
309
00:12:34,036 --> 00:12:35,452
It's exciting, isn't it?
310
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,688
We're on our way,
at the start of our journey
311
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:39,523
to get ourselves some pussy.
312
00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:41,926
Sidney, can I ask you something?
313
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,928
Of course, Carl.
We're bros.
314
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,430
Well forgive me for asking you this...
315
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,498
I've, uh,
I've known you for how long now?
316
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:50,634
Like, four years.
317
00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:52,903
Right.
Well, the past few mating seasons,
318
00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:55,856
I... I didn't see you,
uh... you know...
319
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,475
hook up with anyone.
320
00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,410
And I've always wondered...
321
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:01,962
uh... i-it's obvious what you're asking him.
322
00:13:01,964 --> 00:13:04,398
Just ask the man.
I'm getting to it!
323
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:07,267
I... I'm just wondering, Sidney, if...
324
00:13:07,269 --> 00:13:09,102
well, all this time, and...
325
00:13:09,104 --> 00:13:10,354
there's nothing wrong with it,
326
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:12,657
all this time,
I just kind of thought that you were...
327
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:13,674
gay.
328
00:13:13,676 --> 00:13:15,576
Gay?
329
00:13:15,578 --> 00:13:16,860
Are you crazy?
330
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:19,614
That's so funny!
331
00:13:19,616 --> 00:13:21,198
Gay? I can't...
332
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,717
I am so all about the pussy!
333
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:25,986
Well, you certainly
cleared up the rumors.
334
00:13:25,988 --> 00:13:28,289
Well, you tell those
boys to stop rumoring.
335
00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:31,025
I'm going for a jog, work
off some of this dinner.
336
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:32,893
Ugh! I'm
so bloated.
337
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,694
All right,
I'll see you boys in a few!
338
00:13:34,696 --> 00:13:35,946
Gay!
339
00:13:35,948 --> 00:13:37,531
That is so funny!
340
00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:39,851
Gay!
341
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,802
You know,
you can learn something from Sidney.
342
00:13:41,804 --> 00:13:43,571
He accepts who he is.
343
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,773
He does?
Apparently so.
344
00:13:45,775 --> 00:13:47,024
And you, on the other hand,
345
00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:49,610
are going through a major mid-life crisis,
my friend.
346
00:13:49,612 --> 00:13:52,012
And it's driving me nuts.
347
00:13:52,014 --> 00:13:53,397
Oh, hi, Steve.
348
00:13:55,968 --> 00:13:57,768
Hello, Jimmy.
Hello, Carl.
349
00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,119
Oh, hello, Steve.
350
00:13:59,121 --> 00:14:00,821
And how... how are
we feeling today?
351
00:14:01,908 --> 00:14:03,357
Not so good, Steve.
352
00:14:03,359 --> 00:14:04,792
We're on our way to
the breeding grounds
353
00:14:04,794 --> 00:14:06,110
and I can't stop obsessing
354
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:07,695
over all the negatives
of my life,
355
00:14:07,697 --> 00:14:09,730
especially my wrong
choices in women.
356
00:14:09,732 --> 00:14:10,747
Mm-hmm. Carl, we...
357
00:14:10,749 --> 00:14:13,183
we have the same
discussion every season.
358
00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:15,219
What is it that you're
looking for in a partner?
359
00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:16,537
That's what I asked him!
360
00:14:16,539 --> 00:14:18,472
I'm talking to Carl, Jimmy.
361
00:14:18,474 --> 00:14:19,723
What is it you want, Carl?
362
00:14:20,810 --> 00:14:22,092
Uh, I don't know.
363
00:14:22,094 --> 00:14:24,228
To have a woman
who understands me.
364
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,680
Oh, that's good. And
what is it that you think
365
00:14:26,682 --> 00:14:28,399
would help a woman
understand you?
366
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:31,752
Um... if maybe
I understood her?
367
00:14:31,754 --> 00:14:33,220
Mm-hmm.
368
00:14:33,222 --> 00:14:36,874
And it would help, I guess,
if I wasn't so... needy.
369
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,542
I've told him that too!
370
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,045
And you also keep telling me I
need to get laid all the time.
371
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:43,514
And how does that
make you feel, Carl?
372
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:45,049
Pressured.
373
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,651
Maybe Jimmy's just trying
to get you out of your rut.
374
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:48,969
Exactly!
375
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:50,805
That's what I'm
trying to do, bro.
376
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,456
I think we've made
progress today.
377
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,391
Now... now go with
Jimmy and the others,
378
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,327
and you have a long
journey ahead of you.
379
00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:57,878
I'll just bill your insurance.
380
00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,380
Okay.
381
00:14:59,382 --> 00:15:00,630
Thanks, Steve.
382
00:15:00,632 --> 00:15:02,183
Be good to yourself,
and remember:
383
00:15:02,185 --> 00:15:06,086
when all looks lost,
you need to have a physical prescription with you.
384
00:15:06,088 --> 00:15:07,238
All right.
Remember, boys,
385
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,507
wisdom comes from suffering.
386
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:10,975
Who said that?
387
00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:11,975
My mother!
388
00:15:13,278 --> 00:15:14,729
Three months have gone by,
389
00:15:14,731 --> 00:15:16,464
and now it is march.
390
00:15:16,466 --> 00:15:20,251
And that is just what these little
masochists are going to do:
391
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,468
march,
392
00:15:21,470 --> 00:15:24,422
70 miles back home,
to where the women are,
393
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,323
to where the ice is thicker,
394
00:15:26,325 --> 00:15:29,126
which makes it safer for
them to mate and give birth
395
00:15:29,128 --> 00:15:31,128
before the approaching
polar winter
396
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:34,514
freezes their little buttholes completely shut.
397
00:15:40,757 --> 00:15:42,790
Ouga chaka, ouga chaka,
398
00:15:42,792 --> 00:15:44,591
ouga chaka, ouga chaka.
399
00:15:44,593 --> 00:15:47,978
68 miles, 5,279 feet,
400
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:51,966
68 miles, 5,278 feet,
68 miles...
401
00:15:51,968 --> 00:15:54,618
I hope you know where you're going,
'cause I'm following you.
402
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:18,241
You've got to count your blessings, Carl.
403
00:16:18,243 --> 00:16:21,462
Not many animals can do
20 hours of cardio a day.
404
00:16:21,464 --> 00:16:24,297
We're so athletic,
and we can't even scratch our own asses.
405
00:16:24,299 --> 00:16:25,799
America's favourite pastime.
406
00:16:25,801 --> 00:16:27,184
Walruses can.
407
00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:29,120
Can what?
Scratch their own asses.
408
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:31,621
No they can't,
their arms are shorter than ours.
409
00:16:31,623 --> 00:16:33,890
I've seen them do it,
and it's not pretty.
410
00:16:34,977 --> 00:16:36,643
I've got an itchy ass.
411
00:16:36,645 --> 00:16:37,895
My ass is so itchy.
412
00:16:39,315 --> 00:16:41,548
Scratching my ass.
413
00:16:41,550 --> 00:16:42,899
Scratching my ass too.
414
00:16:44,053 --> 00:16:45,419
Oh, the humanity!
415
00:16:46,605 --> 00:16:48,672
I stand corrected.
416
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,974
You starting to feel
any better, Carl?
417
00:16:50,976 --> 00:16:52,877
Yeah, a little.
Thanks.
418
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,962
Maybe that girl, Debbie,
will be there this year.
419
00:16:54,964 --> 00:16:56,330
Oh, yeah, Debbie.
420
00:16:56,332 --> 00:16:57,714
End of last season.
421
00:16:57,716 --> 00:16:58,732
Why didn't you close that?
422
00:16:58,734 --> 00:17:00,701
She wouldn't return my calls.
423
00:17:00,703 --> 00:17:02,453
How many times did you call her?
424
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,021
I don't know, I
just kept calling her.
425
00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:07,174
Debbie!
426
00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:09,810
Debbie!
427
00:17:09,812 --> 00:17:11,228
Oh, shit.
428
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:12,246
Debbie!
429
00:17:13,816 --> 00:17:14,798
Debbie?
430
00:17:16,685 --> 00:17:18,385
Must have called her ten times.
431
00:17:18,387 --> 00:17:20,554
You called her ten times?
432
00:17:20,556 --> 00:17:21,605
Yeah.
433
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:23,907
Bro, that's stalking.
434
00:17:23,909 --> 00:17:25,842
You can't just keep calling a girl.
435
00:17:25,844 --> 00:17:28,512
You call her once,
if she doesn't respond, that's it.
436
00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:30,180
I should have
disguised my voice.
437
00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:32,249
Hello, Debbie, this is not Carl.
438
00:17:32,251 --> 00:17:33,934
I'm anybody but Carl.
439
00:17:33,936 --> 00:17:35,269
Would you like
to go out with me?
440
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:36,653
Oops! Sorry.
441
00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:37,805
Who you pushing, motherfucker?
442
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:39,122
I didn't do it intentionally.
443
00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:41,124
Are you pushing me
just 'cause I'm black?
444
00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:43,227
Uh... no.
445
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:44,244
I'm black too.
446
00:17:44,246 --> 00:17:45,696
You sayin' we all look alike?
447
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:47,264
Uh, no. I just...
448
00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:50,751
you just what?
Don't make me smack fire out yo ass.
449
00:17:50,753 --> 00:17:51,768
Stand back!
450
00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:53,353
I just... I...
451
00:17:53,355 --> 00:17:54,888
I mean, we're all
black, aren't we?
452
00:17:54,890 --> 00:17:55,973
And white.
453
00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:57,491
You want some of this?
454
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,326
Hey, look,
he didn't mean anything.
455
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:00,944
What are you?
His bitch?
456
00:18:00,946 --> 00:18:03,146
No, look,
I'm really sorry if I offended you.
457
00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:04,848
Offended?
By you two crackers?
458
00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:06,883
How about, not
give a shit about?
459
00:18:10,406 --> 00:18:14,124
Aw... come on, man! I'm
just fuckin' with you.
460
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:16,510
We're gonna be spending,
like, three months together.
461
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:17,661
I'm Marcus.
462
00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:18,679
Carl.
463
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:19,896
Jimmy.
464
00:18:19,898 --> 00:18:23,049
Always cool to meet
another brother.
465
00:18:23,051 --> 00:18:24,735
What is that supposed to mean?
466
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:26,053
You ain't my brother.
467
00:18:28,257 --> 00:18:31,992
Ahhh-ha! I'm just
fuckin' with you again!
468
00:18:31,994 --> 00:18:34,845
You boys are gullible.
I mean, gullible.
469
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:37,247
Like a gull who's a bull.
470
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:38,198
Word.
471
00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:42,569
Nothing, huh?
A'ight. Let's get goin'.
472
00:18:42,571 --> 00:18:44,705
Can't waste a whole
day talkin' this shit.
473
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:47,173
A day here is like
three weeks long, right?
474
00:18:47,175 --> 00:18:48,425
Exactly.
Yeah.
475
00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:49,810
It certainly is.
476
00:18:49,812 --> 00:18:53,129
Home penguin.
Where's that music we was walking to before?
477
00:18:55,451 --> 00:18:57,434
Turn that shit off!
478
00:18:57,436 --> 00:19:01,238
If we walking 70 miles,
the music we walking to had better be slammin',
479
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,474
not that philharmonic bullshit.
480
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:04,791
Let's try that again.
481
00:19:06,462 --> 00:19:08,963
♪ I wanna be okay ♪
482
00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:13,333
♪ I just want for once ♪
483
00:19:13,335 --> 00:19:16,020
♪ Nothing to worry about ♪
484
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:19,573
What is this?
485
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:20,924
Oh, this music?
486
00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:22,959
Yeah,
it's by this new young guy I saw in a bar,
487
00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:24,828
like, at 2:00 a.m.
in the east village.
488
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,964
Do you like it?
489
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:28,181
It's very good.
490
00:19:28,183 --> 00:19:29,767
I bet he's really nice too.
491
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,051
But you know what?
492
00:19:31,053 --> 00:19:32,719
I can't walk to that shit!
493
00:19:32,721 --> 00:19:35,189
Turn that shit off!
494
00:19:35,191 --> 00:19:37,941
But my favourite part was coming up.
495
00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:40,711
Well, we ain't in the east village,
homie postromi,
496
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:41,995
we at the asshole of the earth.
497
00:19:41,997 --> 00:19:43,664
And I will walk off this picture
498
00:19:43,666 --> 00:19:45,899
if I don't get some good
traveling music, you dig?
499
00:19:45,901 --> 00:19:48,985
♪ Jay, dash, v-o-n ♪
500
00:19:48,987 --> 00:19:50,570
Yeah!
501
00:19:50,572 --> 00:19:52,706
This is what I'm talking about!
502
00:19:52,708 --> 00:19:54,774
♪ Hey, sexy,
come undress me ♪
503
00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:56,143
You feel me?
504
00:19:56,145 --> 00:19:57,728
Shake that ass.
505
00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:59,963
♪ Hey, sexy,
come undress me ♪ bounce!
506
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:01,898
♪ I want you next to me ♪
bounce to it.
507
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:04,301
♪ Give me that ♪
yeah!
508
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:05,552
Drop it like it's hot.
509
00:20:05,554 --> 00:20:07,020
And pick it up when it's cold.
510
00:20:22,738 --> 00:20:25,239
I can't wait to find out who the lucky man is,
511
00:20:25,241 --> 00:20:27,441
who's going to get
some of this hot booty.
512
00:20:27,443 --> 00:20:28,592
I swear, Vicky,
513
00:20:28,594 --> 00:20:30,494
all you ever think about is sex.
514
00:20:30,496 --> 00:20:31,611
No, that's not true.
515
00:20:31,613 --> 00:20:34,164
I think about lots of other things.
Like?
516
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:37,617
Okay, like...
like sardines and fresh shrimp and, um...
517
00:20:37,619 --> 00:20:39,235
excuse me!
518
00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:40,354
Helen.
519
00:20:40,356 --> 00:20:42,355
Why don't that bitch just die?
520
00:20:42,357 --> 00:20:44,290
Someone used my lip gloss.
521
00:20:44,292 --> 00:20:45,742
That's impossible, isn't it?
522
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:48,929
Yes, we don't have lips.
She's bipolar.
523
00:20:48,931 --> 00:20:50,697
I'm going to find out who did it.
524
00:20:50,699 --> 00:20:54,618
And when I do,
I am going to embarrass them publicly.
525
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,903
And then justice will be served.
526
00:20:56,905 --> 00:20:59,072
You young bitches today don't know anything.
527
00:20:59,074 --> 00:21:02,142
I used to do my whole face
completely with free samples
528
00:21:02,144 --> 00:21:04,111
and I got a free makeup case.
529
00:21:04,113 --> 00:21:05,846
I'll never understand why god
530
00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:07,631
takes away good people we love
531
00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:08,865
and leaves us with something
532
00:21:08,867 --> 00:21:10,817
as rotten and raggedy-asstard as...
533
00:21:10,819 --> 00:21:11,869
Helen.
534
00:21:14,289 --> 00:21:15,839
And the supreme joke is,
535
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:17,640
she'll find a man
and have his baby.
536
00:21:17,642 --> 00:21:19,809
Mm-hmm.
Now, god help that child.
537
00:21:19,811 --> 00:21:21,812
Probably going to wind
up being a nasty bitch
538
00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:22,996
just like his mama.
539
00:21:22,998 --> 00:21:24,381
I'm nervous to meet a man
540
00:21:24,383 --> 00:21:26,032
I'd actually want
to have a baby with
541
00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:28,918
when all I've ever
done is fool around.
542
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,587
Oh, that's the way it is today.
543
00:21:30,589 --> 00:21:33,657
You know, second base used
to mean copping a feel.
544
00:21:33,659 --> 00:21:35,158
"Let me lift it up
545
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,661
and say, 'hey to
my puddin' pop'."
546
00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:40,164
Melissa, girl, you'll
have no trouble
547
00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:41,498
getting a good man.
548
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:43,800
You're one of the prettiest girls in Antarctica.
549
00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:45,352
Yeah, well I've never met anyone
550
00:21:45,354 --> 00:21:47,054
worth having a baby
with, though.
551
00:21:47,056 --> 00:21:48,405
Listen to me, girl.
552
00:21:48,407 --> 00:21:50,040
When the right man comes along,
553
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:51,791
you will just know it.
554
00:21:51,793 --> 00:21:53,827
And his touch will be
like a lightning bolt
555
00:21:53,829 --> 00:21:55,111
through your veins.
556
00:21:55,113 --> 00:21:58,465
Oh, I dream of that day.
557
00:22:04,473 --> 00:22:06,973
♪ I walk around ♪
558
00:22:06,975 --> 00:22:10,193
♪ Nowhere to go ♪
559
00:22:10,195 --> 00:22:13,680
♪ Just stand and wait ♪
560
00:22:13,682 --> 00:22:16,934
♪ In yellow snow ♪
561
00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:20,253
♪ My heart is full ♪
562
00:22:20,255 --> 00:22:23,657
♪ Yet I'm so low ♪
563
00:22:23,659 --> 00:22:27,410
♪ But when I find him ♪
564
00:22:27,412 --> 00:22:29,846
♪ I'll know ♪
565
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:36,937
♪ How can it be ♪
566
00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:40,323
♪ I love her so ♪
567
00:22:40,325 --> 00:22:43,576
♪ This girl of mine ♪
568
00:22:43,578 --> 00:22:46,764
♪ I've yet to know? ♪
569
00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:50,117
♪ You will my friend ♪
570
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:51,985
♪ Just take it slow ♪
571
00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:57,157
♪ 'Cause when
you find her ♪
572
00:22:57,159 --> 00:22:59,943
♪ You'll know ♪
573
00:22:59,945 --> 00:23:02,078
♪ So many men ♪
574
00:23:03,532 --> 00:23:06,616
♪ They want one thing ♪
575
00:23:06,618 --> 00:23:10,003
♪ To slip it in ♪
576
00:23:10,005 --> 00:23:12,272
♪ Without a ring ♪
577
00:23:13,509 --> 00:23:16,643
♪ If she's not clean ♪
578
00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:19,129
♪ It's gonna sting ♪
579
00:23:20,882 --> 00:23:24,751
♪ But I love her so ♪
580
00:23:24,753 --> 00:23:29,323
♪ A man I do not know ♪
581
00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:35,195
♪ A girl I've
yet to know ♪
582
00:23:35,197 --> 00:23:42,402
♪ We'll try and take it slow ♪
583
00:23:42,404 --> 00:23:45,622
♪ 'Cause when we find them ♪
584
00:23:45,624 --> 00:23:47,658
♪ We'll know ♪
585
00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:56,533
♪ Yes when I find her ♪
586
00:23:56,535 --> 00:23:59,419
♪ I'll know ♪
587
00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:05,274
♪ I'll kno-ow ♪
588
00:24:12,233 --> 00:24:14,434
After they have traveled for a week or more,
589
00:24:14,436 --> 00:24:16,086
they shift from walking upright
590
00:24:16,088 --> 00:24:17,921
to body-surfing
on their bellies,
591
00:24:17,923 --> 00:24:20,189
a transportation method
they've been employing
592
00:24:20,191 --> 00:24:21,742
for thousands of years.
593
00:24:21,744 --> 00:24:23,843
Hey, Carl,
keep your nose out of my ass.
594
00:24:23,845 --> 00:24:26,730
I've got enough trouble scraping my dick across the ice.
595
00:24:26,732 --> 00:24:27,947
Keep on going, boys.
596
00:24:27,949 --> 00:24:29,816
We've got a long ways to go.
597
00:24:30,836 --> 00:24:32,452
Ugh!
598
00:24:32,454 --> 00:24:34,721
Sorry, it's the anchovies.
599
00:24:34,723 --> 00:24:35,839
They don't agree with me.
600
00:24:35,841 --> 00:24:37,073
Fuck this shit!
601
00:24:37,075 --> 00:24:38,958
I'm going to the
front of the train.
602
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,027
Where the fumes from
another penguin's ass
603
00:24:41,029 --> 00:24:42,629
won't burn off my eyebrows.
604
00:24:42,631 --> 00:24:45,165
Asshole smelled like
eight cans of orca shit.
605
00:25:03,669 --> 00:25:04,884
So what you're saying is,
606
00:25:04,886 --> 00:25:06,352
ask them about themselves.
607
00:25:06,354 --> 00:25:08,272
And listen to their answers.
608
00:25:08,274 --> 00:25:09,489
Don't just nod and think
609
00:25:09,491 --> 00:25:11,591
about the next awkward thing you're going to say.
610
00:25:11,593 --> 00:25:13,160
Wait a second.
611
00:25:13,162 --> 00:25:15,295
Everybody, freeze.
- We are.
612
00:25:15,297 --> 00:25:16,413
I mean stop moving.
613
00:25:18,650 --> 00:25:20,918
This looks familiar.
614
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:22,135
Oh, my god!
615
00:25:22,137 --> 00:25:23,453
This is where we started.
616
00:25:23,455 --> 00:25:24,754
Your sense of direction
617
00:25:24,756 --> 00:25:26,923
is as good as your
digestive system.
618
00:25:26,925 --> 00:25:29,392
I'm sorry.
I can't tolerate anchovies.
619
00:25:29,394 --> 00:25:31,828
Thought you guys knew where you were going.
620
00:25:31,830 --> 00:25:33,997
We've made this journey our whole lives.
621
00:25:33,999 --> 00:25:36,232
Why would all of our instincts be off like this?
622
00:25:36,234 --> 00:25:37,484
Maybe it's a curse.
623
00:25:37,486 --> 00:25:40,236
But seriously, Carl.
Calm down. Shit happens.
624
00:25:40,238 --> 00:25:43,256
I don't think you realize the
severity of the situation, Jimmy.
625
00:25:43,258 --> 00:25:45,208
We're right back
where we started from.
626
00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:47,727
Carl, you're having
another anxiety attack.
627
00:25:47,729 --> 00:25:49,245
Now, get a hold of yourself
628
00:25:49,247 --> 00:25:51,047
before I have to bitch-slap you.
629
00:25:51,049 --> 00:25:53,716
I think I need to find me a new posse.
630
00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:56,019
You almost had me believing
I'd meet a woman this year.
631
00:25:56,021 --> 00:25:57,587
Well, that's not
going to be possible
632
00:25:57,589 --> 00:25:59,172
since we're never
going to get there
633
00:25:59,174 --> 00:26:01,307
'cause we're right back
where we started from!
634
00:26:01,309 --> 00:26:03,760
I'm doing this for your own good, man.
635
00:26:03,762 --> 00:26:07,247
Get a hold of yourself!
636
00:26:07,249 --> 00:26:09,982
We only walked
a few miles in a circle.
637
00:26:09,984 --> 00:26:11,484
Ow!
638
00:26:11,486 --> 00:26:13,370
Those are two crazy motherfuckers!
639
00:26:13,372 --> 00:26:15,638
Thanks, Jimmy.
I needed that.
640
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:19,275
So long, crazy motherfuckers!
641
00:26:19,277 --> 00:26:20,826
See you in bootyville!
642
00:26:20,828 --> 00:26:23,814
Can you feel me?
♪ Understand me ♪
643
00:26:23,816 --> 00:26:25,749
'Cause I feel you.
644
00:26:29,504 --> 00:26:31,955
Oh-oh-ah!
645
00:26:31,957 --> 00:26:33,706
To the beat-beat!
646
00:26:33,708 --> 00:26:35,842
I really have been a mess,
haven't I?
647
00:26:35,844 --> 00:26:38,244
Carl, it's time to move forward.
648
00:26:42,584 --> 00:26:44,184
Hello, Steve.
649
00:26:44,186 --> 00:26:45,969
Carl, I know how it may feel
650
00:26:45,971 --> 00:26:47,670
like you're not
going anywhere, but...
651
00:26:47,672 --> 00:26:49,122
but if you stay on the path,
652
00:26:49,124 --> 00:26:51,057
it doesn't matter how many times
653
00:26:51,059 --> 00:26:52,275
you have to start
from the beginning.
654
00:26:52,277 --> 00:26:54,210
Especially if you're O.C.D.
655
00:26:56,899 --> 00:26:58,581
just stay on the path, Carl.
656
00:26:58,583 --> 00:27:00,216
You'll find your way!
657
00:27:01,469 --> 00:27:04,070
That's $250.
658
00:27:04,072 --> 00:27:07,157
That's got to be the
shortest therapy session in history.
659
00:27:07,159 --> 00:27:08,508
I'm confused again.
660
00:27:08,510 --> 00:27:09,792
Oh, god.
661
00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:11,060
Jimmy, can I tell you something,
662
00:27:11,062 --> 00:27:12,512
and promise you
won't yell at me?
663
00:27:12,514 --> 00:27:13,997
I'll try.
664
00:27:13,999 --> 00:27:16,449
Sometimes,
and this may sound crazy,
665
00:27:16,451 --> 00:27:18,952
sometimes, I'm not even sure which one of us is talking.
666
00:27:18,954 --> 00:27:21,688
That is crazy.
667
00:27:21,690 --> 00:27:22,739
I'm talking.
668
00:27:22,741 --> 00:27:24,641
Yeah,
but which one of us are you?
669
00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:26,776
I'm standing right next to you.
670
00:27:26,778 --> 00:27:28,060
On the right or on the left?
671
00:27:28,062 --> 00:27:29,695
Holy shit!
672
00:27:29,697 --> 00:27:30,747
On the right!
673
00:27:30,749 --> 00:27:31,998
My right, or your right?
674
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,900
I think you need medication.
675
00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:35,936
Jimmy, sorry to interrupt,
676
00:27:35,938 --> 00:27:38,138
but I understand
what Carl is saying.
677
00:27:38,140 --> 00:27:39,689
Allow me to illustrate.
678
00:27:39,691 --> 00:27:41,791
You are on theright, Jimmy. Poom!
679
00:27:41,793 --> 00:27:43,660
But you're actually
on the audience's right.
680
00:27:43,662 --> 00:27:45,762
Bam. And you're
actually on Carl's left.
681
00:27:45,764 --> 00:27:47,480
Pow!
Get that shit off me!
682
00:27:47,482 --> 00:27:49,282
Listen, whoever you are.
683
00:27:49,284 --> 00:27:51,151
We're in the middle
of an adventure here.
684
00:27:51,153 --> 00:27:53,136
I don't have time for your little disclaimers,
685
00:27:53,138 --> 00:27:54,571
'cause you stuck
me in the middle
686
00:27:54,573 --> 00:27:56,322
of a stock footage clusterfuck!
687
00:27:56,324 --> 00:27:58,742
That's no way to talk to me, buddy.
688
00:27:58,744 --> 00:28:00,360
I'm just speaking the truth.
689
00:28:00,362 --> 00:28:01,744
Well, you know what?
690
00:28:01,746 --> 00:28:04,897
You can't handle
the truth, Ruth!
691
00:28:06,868 --> 00:28:08,868
You may be right.
692
00:28:08,870 --> 00:28:11,471
I hope you didn't think
I meant any disrespect.
693
00:28:11,473 --> 00:28:14,457
Just don't let it happen again.
694
00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:15,809
Uh, yes, sir.
695
00:28:15,811 --> 00:28:18,394
And, uh... feel free
to call me Ruth
696
00:28:18,396 --> 00:28:19,679
any time you want.
697
00:28:19,681 --> 00:28:21,431
You shouldn't be giving him shit, Jimmy.
698
00:28:21,433 --> 00:28:23,400
This movie was really
hard to put together.
699
00:28:23,402 --> 00:28:25,701
Great!
Now you're kissing show-biz ass.
700
00:28:25,703 --> 00:28:27,036
I'm serious.
701
00:28:27,038 --> 00:28:28,388
A writer worked hard
on this script.
702
00:28:28,390 --> 00:28:31,541
Ahhh. Writing
is rewriting.
703
00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:33,159
Shit!
704
00:28:33,161 --> 00:28:35,428
Then he had to make calls to get all the talent.
705
00:28:35,430 --> 00:28:37,814
Listen, if you do this picture,
I'll give you some back-end.
706
00:28:37,816 --> 00:28:39,866
It's pink and fleshy.
You like that? Neh-eh.
707
00:28:39,868 --> 00:28:41,868
Put up the money to pay for the whole thing...
708
00:28:41,870 --> 00:28:44,136
all mine.
709
00:28:44,138 --> 00:28:46,656
Do all the accounting so it stays on budget...
710
00:28:46,658 --> 00:28:48,992
carry the one, carry the one...
711
00:28:48,994 --> 00:28:51,527
and save all the paperwork so everyone got paid.
712
00:28:51,529 --> 00:28:52,846
Fuck 'em.
713
00:28:55,967 --> 00:28:58,351
How'd you learn so
much about the movie business?
714
00:28:58,353 --> 00:29:01,220
Wait.
715
00:29:01,222 --> 00:29:02,572
Isn't that the group?
716
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,127
Yeah, it is!
717
00:29:07,129 --> 00:29:10,880
Uh, sorry.
We'll just continue on our little journey then.
718
00:29:10,882 --> 00:29:13,216
That's a good idea, Jimbo.
719
00:29:17,588 --> 00:29:20,440
Hey, guys. It's us.
Wait up!
720
00:29:20,442 --> 00:29:23,109
The hope is that after this detour,
721
00:29:23,111 --> 00:29:26,329
they'd be able to find their way back to the others.
722
00:29:26,331 --> 00:29:28,365
But it's too late for some.
723
00:29:28,367 --> 00:29:31,851
The treacherous journey has
already affected their minds.
724
00:29:31,853 --> 00:29:33,853
I don't need the rest of those fuckers.
725
00:29:33,855 --> 00:29:36,806
I have found good
antarctic skunk weed.
726
00:29:36,808 --> 00:29:38,708
And that skunk weed will help me
727
00:29:38,710 --> 00:29:41,611
find the treasure
of sierra madre.
728
00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:44,831
It is I, and I alone,
Juan Sanchez,
729
00:29:44,833 --> 00:29:46,566
who will make this discovery.
730
00:29:46,568 --> 00:29:48,702
And then, I will be famous!
731
00:29:48,704 --> 00:29:49,886
Sure, they'll be at home,
732
00:29:49,888 --> 00:29:51,754
having sex with all the women,
733
00:29:51,756 --> 00:29:54,057
but I don't need
no stinkin' women.
734
00:29:56,295 --> 00:29:58,361
Others are simply victims
735
00:29:58,363 --> 00:30:00,396
of the ever- changing ecosystem.
736
00:30:00,398 --> 00:30:02,832
Shit!
Where did all the snow go?
737
00:30:02,834 --> 00:30:04,667
It's fucking global warming!
738
00:30:04,669 --> 00:30:06,452
This is bullshit!
739
00:30:06,454 --> 00:30:08,054
Guys, get over here.
740
00:30:08,056 --> 00:30:10,523
Holy shit!
There's no snow.
741
00:30:10,525 --> 00:30:11,741
That's what I'm talking about.
742
00:30:11,743 --> 00:30:13,309
Fucking global warming.
743
00:30:13,311 --> 00:30:15,578
It's bullshit! Male 3:
what's global warming?
744
00:30:15,580 --> 00:30:17,196
It's what those fuckers in the snowsuits
745
00:30:17,198 --> 00:30:19,499
do to the planet to fuck it up for all of us.
746
00:30:19,501 --> 00:30:21,701
Yeah, but if it's warmer,
isn't that better for us?
747
00:30:21,703 --> 00:30:23,970
Yeah, it's better if it suddenly gets warmer
748
00:30:23,972 --> 00:30:25,105
and all the ice melts
749
00:30:25,107 --> 00:30:26,322
and we got no place to stand
750
00:30:26,324 --> 00:30:27,807
'cause the fucking
ground beneath us
751
00:30:27,809 --> 00:30:28,958
turned to fucking water.
752
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:30,860
Don't yell. You could
start an avalanche.
753
00:30:30,862 --> 00:30:33,496
With what?
There's no fucking snow!
754
00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:34,714
Snow... snow...
755
00:30:41,740 --> 00:30:43,222
what was that?
756
00:30:43,224 --> 00:30:45,024
You fart again?
757
00:30:45,026 --> 00:30:46,509
No.
Maybe it was you.
758
00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:48,844
I don't fart, that's
not how I roll.
759
00:30:48,846 --> 00:30:51,898
I either hold it in or I just take a crap right there.
760
00:30:51,900 --> 00:30:53,933
You should write romance novels.
761
00:30:53,935 --> 00:30:55,534
You know what your problem is?
762
00:30:55,536 --> 00:30:58,104
You're not proud
to be a penguin.
763
00:30:58,106 --> 00:30:59,656
"Proud to be
a penguin."
764
00:30:59,658 --> 00:31:01,291
Why are we even called penguins?
765
00:31:01,293 --> 00:31:02,308
What does it even mean?
766
00:31:02,310 --> 00:31:03,893
It's a great name for us.
767
00:31:03,895 --> 00:31:05,528
It's not so on-the-nose.
768
00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:07,313
What would you
rather be? A ram?
769
00:31:07,315 --> 00:31:09,115
You know why they're
called rams?
770
00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:10,850
Ram!
Ram!
771
00:31:10,852 --> 00:31:12,502
At least they're
more mobile than us.
772
00:31:12,504 --> 00:31:13,720
We can't do anything.
773
00:31:13,722 --> 00:31:15,522
I'd rather be a sea lion than a penguin.
774
00:31:15,524 --> 00:31:17,223
You know how many
sea lions die young
775
00:31:17,225 --> 00:31:18,975
from too much smoking
and drinking?
776
00:31:18,977 --> 00:31:20,643
Sea lions don't smoke.
777
00:31:20,645 --> 00:31:22,979
Then how do you explain that guy we saw at the beach
778
00:31:22,981 --> 00:31:24,163
with smoker's cough?
779
00:31:31,322 --> 00:31:33,138
Oh, yeah.
780
00:31:33,140 --> 00:31:35,541
And then he drank too much and got sick, remember?
781
00:31:35,543 --> 00:31:38,695
I shouldn't have mixed all of those shots of booze.
782
00:31:38,697 --> 00:31:41,681
Trust me.
We're not missing out on anything.
783
00:31:41,683 --> 00:31:44,567
We age better than almost any animal on the planet.
784
00:31:44,569 --> 00:31:46,702
You ever see a turtle
when he gets so old
785
00:31:46,704 --> 00:31:48,421
he has to use a walker?
786
00:31:48,423 --> 00:31:50,122
It's not pretty, my friend.
787
00:32:00,868 --> 00:32:02,352
You're right, Jimmy.
788
00:32:02,354 --> 00:32:04,487
I haven't been
appreciative enough.
789
00:32:04,489 --> 00:32:06,555
Now you're getting it.
790
00:32:06,557 --> 00:32:08,457
And so the journey continues.
791
00:32:10,045 --> 00:32:12,662
♪ I'm not sure but this I know ♪
792
00:32:12,664 --> 00:32:15,231
♪ He's not sure but this he knows ♪
793
00:32:15,233 --> 00:32:17,767
♪ Penguin pussy's
mighty cold ♪
794
00:32:17,769 --> 00:32:20,319
♪ Penguin pussy'smighty cold ♪
795
00:32:20,321 --> 00:32:22,822
♪ A classy penguin Jimmy's not ♪
796
00:32:22,824 --> 00:32:25,741
♪ A classy penguinJimmy's not ♪
797
00:32:25,743 --> 00:32:27,426
♪ Carl's right ♪
798
00:32:27,428 --> 00:32:29,946
♪ 'Cause penguin pussy's
mighty hot ♪
799
00:32:29,948 --> 00:32:32,382
♪ 'Cause penguin pussy'smighty hot ♪
800
00:32:32,384 --> 00:32:33,700
♪ Shout out ♪
801
00:32:33,702 --> 00:32:35,835
♪ Fuck you ♪
802
00:32:40,241 --> 00:32:43,092
The sun is setting earlier now.
803
00:32:43,094 --> 00:32:45,228
The weather is getting colder.
804
00:32:45,230 --> 00:32:47,429
And I can't wait to
finish recording this shit
805
00:32:47,431 --> 00:32:49,332
and go play golf.
806
00:32:49,334 --> 00:32:51,667
The males stop midway
through their journey
807
00:32:51,669 --> 00:32:53,803
to rest and recuperate.
808
00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:55,454
Where's that cabana boy?
809
00:32:55,456 --> 00:32:57,457
I need new towels!
810
00:32:57,459 --> 00:33:00,242
Stay the hell away from me.
I've got an itch.
811
00:33:00,244 --> 00:33:02,945
Sometimes the elements get the best of them.
812
00:33:02,947 --> 00:33:05,864
The older penguins know that it's just a matter of time
813
00:33:05,866 --> 00:33:07,216
before they call out...
814
00:33:07,218 --> 00:33:09,886
I'm freezing my nuts off!
815
00:33:09,888 --> 00:33:12,672
Damn.
The cold is making everybody crankier.
816
00:33:12,674 --> 00:33:16,025
You have no idea what
I'm going through.
817
00:33:16,027 --> 00:33:20,296
You're in a warm
recording studio in L.A.
818
00:33:20,298 --> 00:33:22,332
getting paid tonnes of money.
819
00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:23,549
Not enough.
820
00:33:23,551 --> 00:33:26,535
I'm sure it's a
respectable amount.
821
00:33:26,537 --> 00:33:28,188
Not enough.
822
00:33:28,190 --> 00:33:30,573
I don't give a shit
823
00:33:30,575 --> 00:33:34,878
'cause I'm freezing my nuts off!
824
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:35,962
Stop complaining.
825
00:33:35,964 --> 00:33:37,347
It's where you chose to live.
826
00:33:37,349 --> 00:33:39,615
Chose? Are you an idiot?
827
00:33:39,617 --> 00:33:42,502
Why would I choose to
live in 80-below weather?
828
00:33:42,504 --> 00:33:43,753
May I continue?
829
00:33:43,755 --> 00:33:45,638
How can I stop you?
830
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:48,191
You're in sunny California
831
00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:50,859
and I'm in Antarctica,
832
00:33:50,861 --> 00:33:53,847
freezing my nuts off!
833
00:33:53,849 --> 00:33:55,398
May I continue?
834
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,266
Ooowww!
835
00:33:57,268 --> 00:33:58,417
What's wrong?
836
00:33:58,419 --> 00:34:01,438
I told you, you son of a bitch,
837
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:03,706
and you just kept talking,
838
00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:07,943
and I...
froze my nuts off!
839
00:34:07,945 --> 00:34:09,745
Those aren't your nuts.
840
00:34:09,747 --> 00:34:11,130
Yes they are.
841
00:34:11,132 --> 00:34:12,965
You don't have nuts,
842
00:34:12,967 --> 00:34:15,935
just some kind of flipper
thing you use as a penis.
843
00:34:15,937 --> 00:34:17,119
You know what?
844
00:34:17,121 --> 00:34:18,754
Fuck you!
845
00:34:18,756 --> 00:34:22,107
Morgan freeman has
more talent than you
846
00:34:22,109 --> 00:34:24,643
in just a freckle on his ass.
847
00:34:24,645 --> 00:34:25,978
Thank you!
848
00:34:25,980 --> 00:34:28,781
Enjoy the polar winter.
It's just starting.
849
00:34:28,783 --> 00:34:30,583
Shouldn't be so rough for you.
850
00:34:30,585 --> 00:34:34,070
You're very old,
and you've already frozen your nuts off,
851
00:34:34,072 --> 00:34:35,554
or whatever those things were,
852
00:34:35,556 --> 00:34:37,874
since penguins don't have nuts.
853
00:34:37,876 --> 00:34:40,944
Fu-u-uck you-u-u!
854
00:34:40,946 --> 00:34:43,796
No, fuck you,
you old nutless motherfuck...
855
00:34:45,016 --> 00:34:45,999
my bad.
856
00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:48,818
It is sheer instinct
857
00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:51,254
that leads them to where
they are meant to go.
858
00:34:51,256 --> 00:34:53,656
The route is never the same.
859
00:34:53,658 --> 00:34:56,058
See, Carl?
It is sheer instinct
860
00:34:56,060 --> 00:34:57,459
where we are meant to go.
861
00:34:57,461 --> 00:35:00,580
It's true.
The route is never the same.
862
00:35:00,582 --> 00:35:03,649
I'm freezing my nuts off!
863
00:35:03,651 --> 00:35:04,984
What was that?
864
00:35:04,986 --> 00:35:06,135
I don't know, but whoever it is,
865
00:35:06,137 --> 00:35:07,820
you can be sure of one thing:
866
00:35:07,822 --> 00:35:10,839
they're freezing their nuts off.
867
00:35:29,577 --> 00:35:31,877
I can't see shit!
868
00:35:31,879 --> 00:35:33,479
The days become harsher,
869
00:35:33,481 --> 00:35:35,348
the air grows colder.
870
00:35:35,350 --> 00:35:38,934
And what has become of those
lost penguin motherfuckers
871
00:35:38,936 --> 00:35:41,137
who strayed from their brethren?
872
00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:42,839
♪ I am Juan Sanchez ♪
873
00:35:42,841 --> 00:35:44,457
♪ And I climb to the top ♪
874
00:35:44,459 --> 00:35:45,875
♪ 'Cause I've gone
fucking nuts ♪
875
00:35:45,877 --> 00:35:48,010
♪ And my journey
will not stop ♪
876
00:35:48,012 --> 00:35:49,745
♪ I'm a freak of a bird ♪
877
00:35:49,747 --> 00:35:51,881
♪ I don't know
the name of my breed ♪
878
00:35:51,883 --> 00:35:53,565
♪ And I don't even care ♪
879
00:35:53,567 --> 00:35:56,352
♪ 'Cause I smoked
so much skunk weed ♪
880
00:35:56,354 --> 00:35:57,803
♪ And when I get
to the top ♪
881
00:35:57,805 --> 00:35:59,271
♪ I will jump
off the edge ♪
882
00:35:59,273 --> 00:36:00,756
♪ And my journey
will stop ♪
883
00:36:00,758 --> 00:36:02,725
♪ And I'll never
have sex ♪
884
00:36:02,727 --> 00:36:04,527
♪ And I never will shave ♪
885
00:36:04,529 --> 00:36:06,578
♪ And I'll never
get to be ♪
886
00:36:06,580 --> 00:36:08,180
♪ Some short
bitch's whore ♪
887
00:36:08,182 --> 00:36:09,866
♪ That is me ♪
888
00:36:09,868 --> 00:36:12,551
♪ Juan Sanchez is my name ♪
889
00:36:12,553 --> 00:36:14,353
I told you not to yell.
890
00:36:14,355 --> 00:36:16,305
A whole side of the
mountain came down.
891
00:36:16,307 --> 00:36:18,441
Yeah, like,
it's my fault the earth is melting.
892
00:36:18,443 --> 00:36:20,409
Just an inconvenient
truth, isn't it?
893
00:36:20,411 --> 00:36:22,278
Somebody needs to
tell our government
894
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:24,681
to shove some freezer coils into
the fucking ends of the earth
895
00:36:24,683 --> 00:36:27,500
before the whole fucking planet turns into fucking jello!
896
00:36:29,737 --> 00:36:33,556
And so,
the harshness of nature takes a toll.
897
00:36:35,493 --> 00:36:37,994
The days turn into nights.
898
00:36:37,996 --> 00:36:40,446
And the nights turn into days.
899
00:36:41,899 --> 00:36:46,502
And the days turn into nights.
900
00:36:46,504 --> 00:36:48,905
And then the nights
turn into days.
901
00:36:48,907 --> 00:36:52,742
And then the days
turn into nights.
902
00:36:52,744 --> 00:36:56,496
And then the nights
turn into days.
903
00:36:56,498 --> 00:36:57,730
And then...
904
00:36:57,732 --> 00:36:59,749
say it with me now!
905
00:37:15,616 --> 00:37:17,950
Finally,
a good night's sleep, right?
906
00:37:17,952 --> 00:37:19,518
Now we can move on.
907
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:20,936
I've been up all night
908
00:37:20,938 --> 00:37:22,605
having a nightmare.
909
00:37:22,607 --> 00:37:23,539
About what?
910
00:37:24,658 --> 00:37:26,024
Well...
911
00:37:26,026 --> 00:37:27,209
I'm not here.
912
00:37:27,211 --> 00:37:28,894
I mean, I'm not in Antarctica.
913
00:37:28,896 --> 00:37:30,596
I'm a prisoner.
914
00:37:30,598 --> 00:37:31,847
I don't know where, but...
915
00:37:31,849 --> 00:37:34,249
I'm in some kind of enclosure.
916
00:37:36,587 --> 00:37:39,872
And I'm trapped and
people are ridiculing me.
917
00:37:39,874 --> 00:37:42,492
Look at the short,
stupid-looking penguin, daddy.
918
00:37:42,494 --> 00:37:44,176
He's a funny-looking bastard,
919
00:37:44,178 --> 00:37:45,411
ain't he, sweetheart?
920
00:37:46,497 --> 00:37:48,247
It was hell on earth.
921
00:37:48,249 --> 00:37:50,966
Wow.
Lucky for us that kind of place doesn't exist.
922
00:37:52,620 --> 00:37:54,386
You're just sleep-deprived.
923
00:37:54,388 --> 00:37:56,689
Come on, Carl.
Let's get to the sex.
924
00:37:56,691 --> 00:37:58,657
Jimmy, I think you
have a sexual obsession.
925
00:37:58,659 --> 00:38:01,527
No I don't. You know who
has a sexual obsession?
926
00:38:01,529 --> 00:38:04,013
A monkey.
A monkey'll bang anything.
927
00:38:04,015 --> 00:38:06,449
At first,
it looks like they're just playing, right?
928
00:38:06,451 --> 00:38:09,969
Like this guy who just wanted to
get some milk out of a coconut.
929
00:38:09,971 --> 00:38:11,670
He wanted to crack a hole in it
930
00:38:11,672 --> 00:38:14,140
but not just to
get the milk out.
931
00:38:15,526 --> 00:38:16,742
That's nuts.
932
00:38:16,744 --> 00:38:18,544
Yeah. Coco-nuts.
933
00:38:18,546 --> 00:38:21,931
Never saw that on "survivor island",
did you, bro?
934
00:38:21,933 --> 00:38:23,182
Keep moving, homie.
935
00:38:23,184 --> 00:38:24,951
We're going to get you a woman.
936
00:38:24,953 --> 00:38:27,703
♪ And when we're done with you ♪
937
00:38:27,705 --> 00:38:30,406
♪ We're gonna get me
one of those ♪
938
00:38:30,408 --> 00:38:31,723
♪ Too ♪
939
00:38:31,725 --> 00:38:32,975
♪ I'm Sidney ♪
940
00:38:38,616 --> 00:38:40,032
Back at the mating grounds,
941
00:38:40,034 --> 00:38:41,483
the females can sense their men
942
00:38:41,485 --> 00:38:43,219
are nearing the end
of their journey.
943
00:38:43,221 --> 00:38:47,190
They wait with selfless anticipation.
944
00:38:47,192 --> 00:38:49,308
If a guy even looks at me the wrong way,
945
00:38:49,310 --> 00:38:50,810
I'm going to peck his eyes out.
946
00:38:50,812 --> 00:38:52,745
Well,
they'll be lining up for you, Helen.
947
00:38:52,747 --> 00:38:54,296
And as soon as they see you,
948
00:38:54,298 --> 00:38:56,866
Whoo, they'll thank the lord you pecked their eyes out.
949
00:38:56,868 --> 00:38:59,035
We'll see who finds a man,
and who doesn't,
950
00:38:59,037 --> 00:39:00,803
bitch.
951
00:39:00,805 --> 00:39:02,772
Has she ever held on to a man?
952
00:39:02,774 --> 00:39:04,023
Only by the throat.
953
00:39:04,025 --> 00:39:05,441
Well, she had a husband once.
954
00:39:05,443 --> 00:39:08,261
What happened?
She pecked his eyes out.
955
00:39:08,263 --> 00:39:09,412
That bitch wasn't kidding.
956
00:39:09,414 --> 00:39:11,514
This party is going to be so hot.
957
00:39:11,516 --> 00:39:13,549
I heard the after-party is hotter.
958
00:39:13,551 --> 00:39:15,234
There's an after-party after that,
959
00:39:15,236 --> 00:39:18,053
that I hear is way hotter than
the party or the after-party.
960
00:39:18,055 --> 00:39:20,256
Yeah, but then I heard there's a V.I.P after-party
961
00:39:20,258 --> 00:39:21,807
for the after-
party's V.I.Ps
962
00:39:21,809 --> 00:39:23,375
after the other after-parties.
963
00:39:26,464 --> 00:39:27,546
Who are they?
964
00:39:27,548 --> 00:39:29,782
Oh, that's the Hilton penguins.
965
00:39:29,784 --> 00:39:32,518
They're sweet girls, but you know,
they all about the party.
966
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:34,970
Seems like you're looking for
something more real, Melissa.
967
00:39:34,972 --> 00:39:36,588
I think I am.
968
00:39:36,590 --> 00:39:39,642
Who's been using my sanitary napkins?
969
00:39:45,816 --> 00:39:48,083
Jimmy,
can we play it one more time?
970
00:39:48,085 --> 00:39:51,570
All right.
Rock, paper, scissors.
971
00:39:51,572 --> 00:39:53,372
Why do you guys keep playing this?
972
00:39:53,374 --> 00:39:54,990
We have no hands!
973
00:39:54,992 --> 00:39:57,192
With us, it's paper,
paper, paper.
974
00:39:57,194 --> 00:39:58,994
All right, it's riddle time.
975
00:39:58,996 --> 00:40:00,712
Oh, I love riddles!
976
00:40:00,714 --> 00:40:03,666
Aw, these are road games, Carl.
Play along.
977
00:40:03,668 --> 00:40:06,418
What's black and white,
and red on the inside?
978
00:40:06,420 --> 00:40:07,470
A newspaper?
979
00:40:07,472 --> 00:40:08,954
No, keep guessing.
980
00:40:08,956 --> 00:40:10,072
Come on, man!
981
00:40:10,074 --> 00:40:11,123
A zebra?
982
00:40:11,125 --> 00:40:12,124
N-no.
983
00:40:12,126 --> 00:40:13,409
A soccer ball?
984
00:40:13,411 --> 00:40:14,426
No.
985
00:40:14,428 --> 00:40:15,544
Nuns.
986
00:40:15,546 --> 00:40:16,895
No.
987
00:40:16,897 --> 00:40:18,497
A zebra?
988
00:40:18,499 --> 00:40:19,548
You said that.
989
00:40:19,550 --> 00:40:20,666
The black eyed peas?
990
00:40:20,668 --> 00:40:21,650
No.
991
00:40:21,652 --> 00:40:22,852
A delicious hot-fudge sundae
992
00:40:22,854 --> 00:40:23,969
with a cherry on the top?
993
00:40:23,971 --> 00:40:24,987
Nope.
994
00:40:24,989 --> 00:40:25,971
Marcus?
995
00:40:25,973 --> 00:40:27,055
No, Carl.
996
00:40:27,057 --> 00:40:28,507
No.
I mean, is that...
997
00:40:28,509 --> 00:40:29,692
Marcus?
998
00:40:29,694 --> 00:40:30,709
What?
999
00:40:30,711 --> 00:40:32,110
That's Marcus?
1000
00:40:32,112 --> 00:40:33,329
I think so.
1001
00:40:33,331 --> 00:40:34,813
No, I don't think it's him.
1002
00:40:34,815 --> 00:40:36,332
I think it is him.
1003
00:40:36,334 --> 00:40:38,033
This is all my fault, Jimmy.
1004
00:40:38,035 --> 00:40:39,701
If I hadn't eaten
those anchovies,
1005
00:40:39,703 --> 00:40:41,020
I wouldn't have
farted in his face
1006
00:40:41,022 --> 00:40:42,604
and he wouldn't have
gone ahead without us.
1007
00:40:42,606 --> 00:40:43,622
I'm telling you...
ow!
1008
00:40:43,624 --> 00:40:45,190
It's not Marcus.
Ow! Ow!
1009
00:40:45,192 --> 00:40:47,459
Ow! Stop it, Jimmy!
Now chill the fuck out!
1010
00:40:47,461 --> 00:40:50,362
What the fuck are you
two motherfuckers freakin' about?
1011
00:40:50,364 --> 00:40:51,346
Marcus!
1012
00:40:51,348 --> 00:40:53,215
Yes, that would be me.
1013
00:40:53,217 --> 00:40:54,500
Who the fuck is that?
1014
00:40:54,502 --> 00:40:56,068
Uh, I don't know.
1015
00:40:56,070 --> 00:40:57,453
Uh, I thought...
1016
00:40:57,455 --> 00:40:59,855
uh,
Carl's been going through a sensitive time.
1017
00:40:59,857 --> 00:41:00,873
I was just worried
that you had...
1018
00:41:00,875 --> 00:41:03,375
had what?
Fallen on my face?
1019
00:41:03,377 --> 00:41:04,743
Dropped dead of a heart attack?
1020
00:41:04,745 --> 00:41:06,461
Tripped over my dick?
1021
00:41:06,463 --> 00:41:09,648
Uh, no.
I'm just glad you're okay, Marcus.
1022
00:41:09,650 --> 00:41:11,950
Oh, gee, that's nice, Carl.
1023
00:41:11,952 --> 00:41:13,585
Now get your head out of my ass,
1024
00:41:13,587 --> 00:41:15,371
you "brokeback mountain" bitch.
1025
00:41:15,373 --> 00:41:16,806
Sorry.
1026
00:41:16,808 --> 00:41:18,624
I'm just fuckin' with you again.
1027
00:41:18,626 --> 00:41:20,226
That was funny what you said
1028
00:41:20,228 --> 00:41:21,961
about tripping
over your own dick.
1029
00:41:21,963 --> 00:41:23,545
Oh, that wasn't a joke.
1030
00:41:23,547 --> 00:41:25,214
I am truly blessed.
1031
00:41:25,216 --> 00:41:26,698
I'm not one to brag,
1032
00:41:26,700 --> 00:41:28,801
but my dick's not
as shy as I am.
1033
00:41:28,803 --> 00:41:30,552
I don't show this to everybody,
1034
00:41:30,554 --> 00:41:33,038
but since you're all so
glad to see me and all,
1035
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:35,374
feast your eyes on this:
1036
00:41:40,181 --> 00:41:42,414
I am the first
penguin in history
1037
00:41:42,416 --> 00:41:44,183
who can touch his toes...
1038
00:41:44,185 --> 00:41:45,818
with his dick.
1039
00:41:45,820 --> 00:41:48,887
That's,
uh... that's very impressive.
1040
00:41:48,889 --> 00:41:51,240
I'm sure women find it adorable.
1041
00:41:51,242 --> 00:41:53,709
Your woman last year didn't seem to mind it.
1042
00:41:56,513 --> 00:41:58,747
Aw, come on! I'm just
fuckin' with you again.
1043
00:41:58,749 --> 00:42:02,251
And if I had taken a shot at your ladies from last year,
1044
00:42:02,253 --> 00:42:04,787
they definitely wouldn't
be able to walk this year,
1045
00:42:04,789 --> 00:42:08,691
especially after being
ravaged by my...
1046
00:42:08,693 --> 00:42:11,159
gigantic penguin cock!
1047
00:42:11,161 --> 00:42:13,295
I believe that's an oxymoron.
1048
00:42:13,297 --> 00:42:14,813
Whatever it is,
1049
00:42:14,815 --> 00:42:17,833
it's brought happiness
to the faces of millions.
1050
00:42:17,835 --> 00:42:19,902
And it's kept the
tops of my toes warm
1051
00:42:19,904 --> 00:42:21,837
through many a lonely winter.
1052
00:42:21,839 --> 00:42:23,972
Well, good to see you, boys.
1053
00:42:23,974 --> 00:42:24,957
You too.
You too.
1054
00:42:24,959 --> 00:42:26,909
See you on the
inside, gentlemen.
1055
00:42:26,911 --> 00:42:29,995
And I do mean "on the inside".
1056
00:42:29,997 --> 00:42:34,266
Ooow! Can you feel me?
1057
00:42:34,268 --> 00:42:36,001
'Cause I feel you.
1058
00:42:45,179 --> 00:42:46,429
Uh-oh.
1059
00:42:46,431 --> 00:42:47,863
What now?
1060
00:42:47,865 --> 00:42:50,883
You boys are going
the wrong way.
1061
00:42:50,885 --> 00:42:52,668
No,
I... I believe the, uh...
1062
00:42:52,670 --> 00:42:54,136
breeding grounds
are straight ahead.
1063
00:42:54,138 --> 00:42:55,654
The road's closed.
1064
00:42:57,275 --> 00:42:58,507
Doesn't look closed.
1065
00:42:59,994 --> 00:43:04,029
He says the road don't look closed, Mumford.
1066
00:43:04,031 --> 00:43:06,198
So he does.
1067
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:07,616
Look over there, city slicker.
1068
00:43:10,188 --> 00:43:11,620
That wasn't there a second ago.
1069
00:43:11,622 --> 00:43:13,990
I suggest you take the detour,
1070
00:43:13,992 --> 00:43:16,091
unless you want us
to eat you all.
1071
00:43:16,093 --> 00:43:17,510
You can't just eat us all.
1072
00:43:17,512 --> 00:43:18,827
Oh yes they can, Carl.
1073
00:43:18,829 --> 00:43:19,878
They can eat us all.
1074
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:21,813
It's definitely do-able.
1075
00:43:21,815 --> 00:43:23,299
You're not good guys.
1076
00:43:23,301 --> 00:43:25,234
Oooh, that stings.
1077
00:43:25,236 --> 00:43:27,886
If I wasn't an evil predator,
I'd be hurt.
1078
00:43:27,888 --> 00:43:29,771
Now get off our
land, greenhorns.
1079
00:43:31,542 --> 00:43:32,691
This isn't fair.
1080
00:43:32,693 --> 00:43:34,492
Life isn't fair sometimes.
1081
00:43:34,494 --> 00:43:36,895
I hope this doesn't take us too far off the path.
1082
00:43:46,557 --> 00:43:48,490
Whoooah!
1083
00:43:51,262 --> 00:43:52,277
Ahh-huh!
1084
00:43:52,279 --> 00:43:53,228
Oh me!
1085
00:43:55,632 --> 00:43:57,299
Hot, hot, hot, hot!
1086
00:43:57,301 --> 00:43:58,350
Ahhh!
1087
00:43:59,503 --> 00:44:00,786
Gaaa!
1088
00:44:00,788 --> 00:44:03,021
Wa-ah!
1089
00:44:03,023 --> 00:44:04,039
Seals!
1090
00:44:04,041 --> 00:44:05,257
Fuck!
1091
00:44:10,114 --> 00:44:12,548
The men have traveled 70 miles
1092
00:44:12,550 --> 00:44:13,865
to reach this moment:
1093
00:44:13,867 --> 00:44:17,086
the entrance to
the mating grounds.
1094
00:44:17,088 --> 00:44:18,370
You know,
I think it'd have been easier
1095
00:44:18,372 --> 00:44:20,072
getting eaten by
that gang of seals.
1096
00:44:20,074 --> 00:44:22,141
It's over,
we made it. Stop bitching.
1097
00:44:22,143 --> 00:44:24,943
Come on, boys!
Let's make our grand entrance.
1098
00:44:26,230 --> 00:44:27,245
Pssst! Hey!
1099
00:44:27,247 --> 00:44:28,613
What?
1100
00:44:28,615 --> 00:44:30,299
Any of you guys want
to buy some tickets?
1101
00:44:30,301 --> 00:44:31,834
I've got front-row center.
1102
00:44:31,836 --> 00:44:32,818
Tickets for what?
1103
00:44:32,820 --> 00:44:34,069
There's no cover to this thing.
1104
00:44:34,071 --> 00:44:35,588
How about a watch?
You want to buy a watch?
1105
00:44:35,590 --> 00:44:37,123
We don't have wrists.
1106
00:44:37,125 --> 00:44:38,741
Tequila shots, smoke, flake,
1107
00:44:38,743 --> 00:44:40,058
"penguins gone wild" dvds?
1108
00:44:40,060 --> 00:44:41,377
They're real college girls
doing things
1109
00:44:41,379 --> 00:44:43,145
their dads would not
be happy about. Ha-ha.
1110
00:44:43,147 --> 00:44:44,463
Go away.
1111
00:44:44,465 --> 00:44:46,432
Okay.
1112
00:44:46,434 --> 00:44:48,200
You know, Carl,
1113
00:44:48,202 --> 00:44:50,169
I think you're starting to get your power back.
1114
00:44:53,173 --> 00:44:54,906
Excuse me. I can't
let you pass.
1115
00:44:54,908 --> 00:44:56,258
Who are you?
1116
00:44:56,260 --> 00:44:58,526
I am a walrus.
1117
00:44:58,528 --> 00:45:01,614
Sir,
we just walked 70 miles to get here.
1118
00:45:01,616 --> 00:45:02,764
We can't turn back now.
1119
00:45:02,766 --> 00:45:04,299
Do you know the password?
1120
00:45:04,301 --> 00:45:06,402
No one said anything
about a password.
1121
00:45:06,404 --> 00:45:08,186
Do you know "the da vinci code"?
1122
00:45:08,188 --> 00:45:10,088
I read the first 30 and couldn't get into it.
1123
00:45:11,175 --> 00:45:12,424
That's the password!
1124
00:45:12,426 --> 00:45:13,375
Go right on through.
1125
00:45:15,613 --> 00:45:18,247
Jimmy,
how'd you read a copy of "the Da Vinci code"?
1126
00:45:18,249 --> 00:45:20,799
I didn't.
Books on tape.
1127
00:45:26,023 --> 00:45:28,040
All of these penguins have converged
1128
00:45:28,042 --> 00:45:30,626
upon the same spot
where they were born.
1129
00:45:30,628 --> 00:45:32,594
The large ice walls protect them
1130
00:45:32,596 --> 00:45:34,079
from the cold, high winds,
1131
00:45:34,081 --> 00:45:35,747
and the thick ice
beneath their feet
1132
00:45:35,749 --> 00:45:37,599
keep their newborns
from being sucked
1133
00:45:37,601 --> 00:45:39,734
into the icy waters below.
1134
00:45:39,736 --> 00:45:42,721
Everything has built up to this.
1135
00:45:42,723 --> 00:45:44,990
Hello, ladies!
1136
00:45:44,992 --> 00:45:46,625
Oh god, here they come.
1137
00:45:46,627 --> 00:45:48,577
How do I look?
You look hot.
1138
00:45:48,579 --> 00:45:49,595
I do?
1139
00:45:49,597 --> 00:45:50,745
Oh, thanks, baby.
1140
00:45:50,747 --> 00:45:52,113
Oh, now... he's cute.
1141
00:45:53,501 --> 00:45:54,549
Ow!
1142
00:45:54,551 --> 00:45:56,134
Nah, too short.
1143
00:45:56,136 --> 00:45:57,252
How about that one?
1144
00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:00,856
No, too fat.
1145
00:46:00,858 --> 00:46:03,458
Oooh, well,
look at the butt on that one!
1146
00:46:05,462 --> 00:46:06,478
Come here, baby.
1147
00:46:08,516 --> 00:46:09,832
Wait... ew, don't.
1148
00:46:09,834 --> 00:46:10,782
Too late.
1149
00:46:13,220 --> 00:46:14,886
Hello, girls.
1150
00:46:14,888 --> 00:46:16,471
I'm Jimmy, and this
is my buddy, Carl.
1151
00:46:17,591 --> 00:46:18,573
Hi.
1152
00:46:18,575 --> 00:46:19,692
Hi, I'm Vicky.
1153
00:46:19,694 --> 00:46:21,427
Hi. Melissa.
1154
00:46:22,947 --> 00:46:26,782
♪ I'd give up forever
to touch you ♪
1155
00:46:26,784 --> 00:46:31,219
♪ 'Cause I know that
you feel me somehow ♪
1156
00:46:31,221 --> 00:46:32,371
Hey, Carl, uh...
1157
00:46:32,373 --> 00:46:33,889
why don't you tell the ladies
1158
00:46:33,891 --> 00:46:36,291
about our run-in with that
gang of leopard seals?
1159
00:46:36,293 --> 00:46:37,626
Carl?
1160
00:46:37,628 --> 00:46:40,596
♪ You're the closest
to heaven ♪
1161
00:46:40,598 --> 00:46:42,948
♪ That I'll ever be ♪
1162
00:46:42,950 --> 00:46:47,002
♪ And I don't want
to go home right now ♪
1163
00:46:47,004 --> 00:46:48,219
You okay?
1164
00:46:48,221 --> 00:46:49,204
Sorry.
1165
00:46:49,206 --> 00:46:50,288
I was just admiring your...
1166
00:46:50,290 --> 00:46:51,373
my what?
1167
00:46:51,375 --> 00:46:53,008
Uh... your...
1168
00:46:53,010 --> 00:46:54,459
your... your...
1169
00:46:54,461 --> 00:46:55,543
her what?
1170
00:46:55,545 --> 00:46:57,178
You're, uh...
1171
00:46:57,180 --> 00:46:59,031
closest to heaven
that I'll ever be
1172
00:46:59,033 --> 00:47:00,432
and I don't want to
go home right now?
1173
00:47:00,434 --> 00:47:02,384
That's from a song, isn't it?
1174
00:47:02,386 --> 00:47:04,186
It is?
1175
00:47:04,188 --> 00:47:05,437
Uh, come on, Melissa.
1176
00:47:05,439 --> 00:47:07,773
We told Helen we'd meet at the bar, remember?
1177
00:47:07,775 --> 00:47:09,575
We did?
Yes.
1178
00:47:09,577 --> 00:47:12,527
Well, it was nice
talking to you guys.
1179
00:47:12,529 --> 00:47:15,680
Maybe we'll, uh...
see you later.
1180
00:47:15,682 --> 00:47:16,899
Okay.
1181
00:47:16,901 --> 00:47:17,949
Bye.
1182
00:47:17,951 --> 00:47:19,068
Bye.
1183
00:47:20,254 --> 00:47:21,703
You think that guy likes you?
1184
00:47:21,705 --> 00:47:23,705
God, I thought he was having a heart attack.
1185
00:47:25,026 --> 00:47:27,225
I've never seen anyone cock-block themselves
1186
00:47:27,227 --> 00:47:29,194
quicker than what
I just witnessed.
1187
00:47:29,196 --> 00:47:31,263
She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.
1188
00:47:31,265 --> 00:47:32,348
And she's gone...
1189
00:47:32,350 --> 00:47:34,250
to be with anyone but you,
1190
00:47:34,252 --> 00:47:36,885
because you just acted like a groupie on acid.
1191
00:47:36,887 --> 00:47:38,620
But I think I can
still salvage this.
1192
00:47:38,622 --> 00:47:39,605
You do?
1193
00:47:39,607 --> 00:47:40,956
Carl, I'm your best friend.
1194
00:47:40,958 --> 00:47:42,474
You were depressed for 70 miles,
1195
00:47:42,476 --> 00:47:43,742
and yet here you are,
1196
00:47:43,744 --> 00:47:45,561
with a crush on the
first girl you meet?
1197
00:47:45,563 --> 00:47:46,611
It's a miracle.
1198
00:47:46,613 --> 00:47:48,514
I don't think it's just a crush.
1199
00:47:48,516 --> 00:47:50,549
I think I've already
fallen in love with her.
1200
00:47:50,551 --> 00:47:53,602
You told me, when I
find her I'll know.
1201
00:47:53,604 --> 00:47:54,752
Well, I know, Jimmy.
1202
00:47:55,839 --> 00:47:58,273
It's love.
Love?
1203
00:47:58,275 --> 00:48:00,575
Yes, Jimmy. Love.
1204
00:48:00,577 --> 00:48:04,412
In fact,
the whole reason the penguins make this journey
1205
00:48:04,414 --> 00:48:06,097
is for love.
1206
00:48:06,099 --> 00:48:09,051
Yes, perhaps the love of
the mating ritual itself,
1207
00:48:09,053 --> 00:48:11,970
but that is somehow intrinsic to every species.
1208
00:48:11,972 --> 00:48:14,640
Except maybe very religious ones,
1209
00:48:14,642 --> 00:48:18,477
stricter cultures with the ability
to reason like some humans,
1210
00:48:18,479 --> 00:48:21,346
only see sex as a
means to procreation.
1211
00:48:21,348 --> 00:48:22,814
Who are you?
1212
00:48:22,816 --> 00:48:24,233
I am sheila.
1213
00:48:24,235 --> 00:48:26,835
I've had five husbands
and four children.
1214
00:48:26,837 --> 00:48:29,288
One of my husbands fired blanks.
1215
00:48:29,290 --> 00:48:30,305
Sorry.
1216
00:48:30,307 --> 00:48:32,123
It's okay. It happens.
1217
00:48:32,125 --> 00:48:34,259
So I think you raised
an interesting point
1218
00:48:34,261 --> 00:48:35,894
with your theory of animal love.
1219
00:48:35,896 --> 00:48:38,029
I was in love twice.
1220
00:48:38,031 --> 00:48:39,614
In love with two of my five...
1221
00:48:39,616 --> 00:48:40,899
that's nice to hear.
1222
00:48:40,901 --> 00:48:43,818
But none of them made
me cum like my Herbie.
1223
00:48:43,820 --> 00:48:44,903
Thank you, sheila.
1224
00:48:44,905 --> 00:48:46,871
No, wait! This
is my moment!
1225
00:48:46,873 --> 00:48:48,840
Tell all those
dirty little bastards
1226
00:48:48,842 --> 00:48:51,443
sitting in the theater all watching this on a bootleg DVD
1227
00:48:51,445 --> 00:48:52,727
what life's about!
1228
00:48:52,729 --> 00:48:54,229
We have to get back to our story.
1229
00:48:54,231 --> 00:48:56,331
I'll give ya a fucking story!
1230
00:48:56,333 --> 00:48:58,500
I've got more lines
around my uterus
1231
00:48:58,502 --> 00:49:00,151
than you have on your resume.
1232
00:49:00,153 --> 00:49:03,339
It's time for you to say goodbye, sheila.
1233
00:49:03,341 --> 00:49:05,240
The mating ritual
is about to begin.
1234
00:49:05,242 --> 00:49:06,892
Wait!
1235
00:49:06,894 --> 00:49:10,529
I am so sorry you had to see that.
1236
00:49:10,531 --> 00:49:13,264
Sorry you have to see this too.
1237
00:49:13,266 --> 00:49:15,567
Keep doing it, baby.
Daddy likes that.
1238
00:49:15,569 --> 00:49:18,387
Mmm! Naughty, naughty,
naughty girl!
1239
00:49:18,389 --> 00:49:20,522
You know,
I've never been with two ladies before.
1240
00:49:20,524 --> 00:49:22,891
You two like a little piece of this action?
1241
00:49:22,893 --> 00:49:25,260
No, thanks.
He is kind of cute though, isn't he?
1242
00:49:25,262 --> 00:49:27,296
Hey,
I'm just fine with the one of ya.
1243
00:49:27,298 --> 00:49:29,398
Ew!
He's so gross and so old.
1244
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:30,549
I think I need a z-pack.
1245
00:49:30,551 --> 00:49:32,150
Yeah, they're all bitches.
1246
00:49:32,152 --> 00:49:34,386
I love the ice sculpture by the bar.
1247
00:49:36,073 --> 00:49:38,306
Hey,
I'm bragging I promoted this whole thing.
1248
00:49:38,308 --> 00:49:40,709
This party's really going off.
1249
00:49:40,711 --> 00:49:42,177
Come on!
1250
00:49:42,179 --> 00:49:44,779
Who wants to fuck
the sensitive guy?
1251
00:49:44,781 --> 00:49:47,332
Well, hell-lo!
1252
00:49:47,334 --> 00:49:49,017
Hey, Marcus.
What's up?
1253
00:49:49,019 --> 00:49:51,253
Now this is what I'm talking about!
1254
00:49:51,255 --> 00:49:54,572
It's like hedonism and spring-fling had a kid!
1255
00:49:54,574 --> 00:49:56,875
It reminds me of the sex
scenes in "eyes wide shut".
1256
00:49:56,877 --> 00:49:58,610
You guys see that movie?
1257
00:49:58,612 --> 00:50:00,128
Fuck this shit.
1258
00:50:00,130 --> 00:50:02,030
I didn't come here
just to watch.
1259
00:50:02,032 --> 00:50:03,665
Excuse me, gentlemen.
1260
00:50:05,869 --> 00:50:07,719
Well, hell-lo!
1261
00:50:07,721 --> 00:50:09,321
Well, hell-lo!
1262
00:50:09,323 --> 00:50:10,439
I'm Marcus.
1263
00:50:10,441 --> 00:50:11,590
I'm Vicky.
1264
00:50:11,592 --> 00:50:12,674
And you are?
1265
00:50:12,676 --> 00:50:14,126
Leaving.
1266
00:50:14,128 --> 00:50:15,461
Staying.
1267
00:50:15,463 --> 00:50:16,878
Ooh, holla.
1268
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:19,181
Now,
what do you have in mind, Marcus?
1269
00:50:19,183 --> 00:50:21,517
I'm proud to show you, Vicky.
1270
00:50:21,519 --> 00:50:23,552
Objects speak louder than words.
1271
00:50:26,941 --> 00:50:28,223
That?
Yeah.
1272
00:50:28,225 --> 00:50:29,858
Yeah, that...
that's gonna hurt.
1273
00:50:29,860 --> 00:50:31,993
It didn't hurt my
woman last year.
1274
00:50:31,995 --> 00:50:33,511
May she rest in peace.
1275
00:50:33,513 --> 00:50:34,596
Oh!
1276
00:50:34,598 --> 00:50:37,716
Naw, I'm just fuckin' with you.
1277
00:50:39,169 --> 00:50:40,185
You're funny.
1278
00:50:40,187 --> 00:50:41,369
Holy shit.
1279
00:50:41,371 --> 00:50:42,871
That Marcus is good.
1280
00:50:42,873 --> 00:50:45,273
Yeah.
And he's got subtle foreplay skills.
1281
00:50:45,275 --> 00:50:46,324
Yes, mar!
1282
00:50:46,326 --> 00:50:47,776
Oh! Yes, indeed!
1283
00:50:47,778 --> 00:50:49,278
You better work it, boy!
1284
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:50,462
You're so bossy.
1285
00:50:50,464 --> 00:50:52,113
Oh, Marcus!
Ooh.
1286
00:50:52,115 --> 00:50:53,131
Stand on me!
Mm-mm.
1287
00:50:53,133 --> 00:50:54,633
Yes, Marcus.
1288
00:50:54,635 --> 00:50:56,734
Look at that technique.
1289
00:50:56,736 --> 00:50:59,304
I don't know how she
tolerates that thing.
1290
00:50:59,306 --> 00:51:01,973
Let's make some eggs
together, girl.
1291
00:51:01,975 --> 00:51:03,608
They certainly hit it off.
1292
00:51:03,610 --> 00:51:06,528
Poor girl's going to be walking
to the left the rest of her life.
1293
00:51:06,530 --> 00:51:08,246
Jimmy, you see
where Melissa went?
1294
00:51:08,248 --> 00:51:11,166
Let's go find her, bro.
1295
00:51:11,168 --> 00:51:12,150
I got a plan.
1296
00:51:15,506 --> 00:51:16,922
When chemistry happens,
1297
00:51:16,924 --> 00:51:18,306
there's no fighting it.
1298
00:51:18,308 --> 00:51:20,726
The ones who are
meant to be together
1299
00:51:20,728 --> 00:51:22,794
somehow get to hook up.
1300
00:51:22,796 --> 00:51:24,613
Ah,
sure is nice to meet a girl in person.
1301
00:51:24,615 --> 00:51:26,648
I mean, I... I don't...
I don't know.
1302
00:51:26,650 --> 00:51:28,450
I usually just
meet people online.
1303
00:51:28,452 --> 00:51:29,701
What's "online"?
1304
00:51:29,703 --> 00:51:32,004
It's, uh,
where a bunch of men and women
1305
00:51:32,006 --> 00:51:34,006
who are afraid to
ever meet face-to-face
1306
00:51:34,008 --> 00:51:35,323
stay up all hours of the night
1307
00:51:35,325 --> 00:51:36,892
chatting with people
they don't know
1308
00:51:36,894 --> 00:51:39,061
'cause it feels safer
1309
00:51:39,063 --> 00:51:40,745
than actually having
to talk to them in...
1310
00:51:40,747 --> 00:51:42,914
in person.
I'm late for my friends.
1311
00:51:42,916 --> 00:51:44,649
Nice talking to you.
1312
00:51:44,651 --> 00:51:47,969
Mmm. Is it 'cause my
breath smells like ass?
1313
00:51:47,971 --> 00:51:50,339
Uh, hi?
Hi. Hi there.
1314
00:51:50,341 --> 00:51:52,741
Uh, I know you probably think I'm disgusting
1315
00:51:52,743 --> 00:51:54,576
but, well, we have
to mate with someone
1316
00:51:54,578 --> 00:51:56,027
and... and I
thought maybe,
1317
00:51:56,029 --> 00:51:58,096
you'd want to hook up for this
season and have my baby.
1318
00:51:58,098 --> 00:51:59,765
Oh yeah, you're perfect for me.
1319
00:51:59,767 --> 00:52:00,882
I am?
1320
00:52:00,884 --> 00:52:03,618
I've been looking for
an insecure asexual guy
1321
00:52:03,620 --> 00:52:05,654
whose low self-esteem
far outweighs
1322
00:52:05,656 --> 00:52:08,156
the complete lack of sexual attraction I have for him.
1323
00:52:08,158 --> 00:52:09,757
Sweet!
1324
00:52:09,759 --> 00:52:11,993
Hey,
can I join one of your twosomes there?
1325
00:52:11,995 --> 00:52:13,478
No.
No. Ah.
1326
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:15,079
Do you mind if I just stand here and...
1327
00:52:15,081 --> 00:52:17,315
urinate all over
the four of you?
1328
00:52:17,317 --> 00:52:18,800
Oh, keep doing it, baby.
1329
00:52:18,802 --> 00:52:20,269
Do it for daddy.
1330
00:52:25,726 --> 00:52:27,992
The females are truly starving.
1331
00:52:27,994 --> 00:52:30,061
As soon as the
mating ritual is over
1332
00:52:30,063 --> 00:52:33,182
they get to make the same
long journey as the males did,
1333
00:52:33,184 --> 00:52:36,117
to the ocean where they
will finally get to feed.
1334
00:52:36,119 --> 00:52:39,337
But for now, it is time to mate.
1335
00:52:39,339 --> 00:52:40,905
Hi.
Hey, what's your name?
1336
00:52:42,559 --> 00:52:43,608
Melissa.
1337
00:52:44,662 --> 00:52:45,744
My name's Jamie.
1338
00:52:45,746 --> 00:52:48,079
And I don't play games.
1339
00:52:48,081 --> 00:52:49,264
I like to be honest
and up front.
1340
00:52:50,417 --> 00:52:51,399
Do you want to do it?
1341
00:52:51,401 --> 00:52:53,101
That is so gross.
1342
00:52:53,103 --> 00:52:55,070
Ooh, you're honest
and up front too.
1343
00:52:55,072 --> 00:52:56,087
Ooh, I like that.
1344
00:52:56,089 --> 00:52:57,472
You're disgusting.
1345
00:52:57,474 --> 00:52:59,124
Excuse me.
1346
00:52:59,126 --> 00:53:00,292
Hey, where you going?
1347
00:53:01,378 --> 00:53:03,362
Hi. My name's Jamie
1348
00:53:03,364 --> 00:53:04,863
and I don't play games.
1349
00:53:04,865 --> 00:53:06,247
I like to be honest
and up front.
1350
00:53:07,467 --> 00:53:09,133
I don't see Melissa anywhere.
1351
00:53:09,135 --> 00:53:10,619
We'll find her.
1352
00:53:10,621 --> 00:53:13,438
10,000 penguins here and they're all a bunch of sickos.
1353
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:14,789
Say my name.
1354
00:53:14,791 --> 00:53:15,941
Say my name, bitch.
1355
00:53:15,943 --> 00:53:17,843
Look me in the eye.
Who's your daddy?
1356
00:53:17,845 --> 00:53:18,960
Say my name!
1357
00:53:18,962 --> 00:53:20,311
Okay, Melvin!
1358
00:53:20,313 --> 00:53:22,747
Oh, yeah!
Say my name!
1359
00:53:22,749 --> 00:53:25,367
Melvin!
Oh, yeah! Say it!
1360
00:53:25,369 --> 00:53:29,488
Melvi-in!
1361
00:53:29,490 --> 00:53:31,222
Takes all kinds.
1362
00:53:31,224 --> 00:53:34,442
Wow, look at those two cartoon characters go at it.
1363
00:53:34,444 --> 00:53:35,627
They don't even look real.
1364
00:53:35,629 --> 00:53:37,729
All that time at sea
1365
00:53:37,731 --> 00:53:39,564
I've been dreaming
about this moment.
1366
00:53:39,566 --> 00:53:40,581
I'm not in the mood.
1367
00:53:40,583 --> 00:53:42,367
Your sister was in the mood.
1368
00:53:42,369 --> 00:53:43,802
I'm gonna go see her.
1369
00:53:46,206 --> 00:53:47,622
Whatever happened to romance?
1370
00:53:47,624 --> 00:53:49,491
Whatever happened to
dinner and a movie?
1371
00:53:49,493 --> 00:53:52,026
Everybody in the world is having sex but us.
1372
00:53:52,028 --> 00:53:53,278
That's an exaggeration.
1373
00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:55,380
No, it isn't. Look.
1374
00:53:55,382 --> 00:53:56,815
♪ You and me, baby ♪
1375
00:53:56,817 --> 00:53:58,600
♪ Ain't nothin'
but mammals ♪
1376
00:53:58,602 --> 00:54:03,421
♪ So let's do it like they do
on the discovery channel ♪
1377
00:54:03,423 --> 00:54:06,841
♪ You and me, baby, ain't
nothin' but mammals ♪
1378
00:54:06,843 --> 00:54:10,845
♪ So let's do it like they do
on the discovery channel ♪
1379
00:54:10,847 --> 00:54:12,430
Gettin' horny now.
1380
00:54:12,432 --> 00:54:13,748
Get your ass off me!
1381
00:54:13,750 --> 00:54:16,534
I've got to find out who their event planner is!
1382
00:54:19,656 --> 00:54:20,872
Wait, Jimmy.
1383
00:54:20,874 --> 00:54:22,223
That...
that's Melissa.
1384
00:54:22,225 --> 00:54:23,992
What do I do?
Let me handle this.
1385
00:54:23,994 --> 00:54:25,576
I may not get laid myself
1386
00:54:25,578 --> 00:54:27,311
but I'm the best wingman alive.
1387
00:54:31,551 --> 00:54:33,468
Hey, uh, Melissa, right?
1388
00:54:33,470 --> 00:54:34,486
Uh-huh.
1389
00:54:34,488 --> 00:54:35,721
Uh, Jimmy, is it?
1390
00:54:35,723 --> 00:54:37,338
Uh, yeah.
1391
00:54:37,340 --> 00:54:39,341
Your friend Vicky went off
with our friend Marcus.
1392
00:54:39,343 --> 00:54:40,892
Yes, she did.
1393
00:54:40,894 --> 00:54:42,660
Uh, look,
my friend Carl over there...
1394
00:54:44,598 --> 00:54:47,199
he may have come off like
a complete idiot before,
1395
00:54:47,201 --> 00:54:48,867
but it's...
it's 'cause, well,
1396
00:54:48,869 --> 00:54:50,352
he didn't know
what to say to you.
1397
00:54:52,055 --> 00:54:53,905
Well,
tell him that I understand.
1398
00:54:53,907 --> 00:54:56,141
And I don't want to hurt
his feelings or anything
1399
00:54:56,143 --> 00:54:58,960
but I'm not really looking
for a partner right now.
1400
00:55:00,180 --> 00:55:02,080
Oh.
1401
00:55:02,082 --> 00:55:05,033
Okay. I'll relay
the message.
1402
00:55:05,035 --> 00:55:06,551
Will you wait right here?
1403
00:55:06,553 --> 00:55:08,136
Uh... okay.
1404
00:55:15,695 --> 00:55:17,895
She says she understands
1405
00:55:17,897 --> 00:55:19,564
and doesn't want to
hurt your feelings
1406
00:55:19,566 --> 00:55:21,966
but she's not really looking for a partner right now.
1407
00:55:21,968 --> 00:55:23,017
Oh, god.
1408
00:55:23,019 --> 00:55:25,670
Well... okay.
1409
00:55:25,672 --> 00:55:27,555
Would you tell her
1410
00:55:27,557 --> 00:55:29,224
that I wasn't looking
for a partner either
1411
00:55:29,226 --> 00:55:31,226
but then, when I saw her,
1412
00:55:31,228 --> 00:55:34,096
it felt like a lightning bolt was going through my veins.
1413
00:55:34,098 --> 00:55:35,731
I'm not going to tell her that!
1414
00:55:35,733 --> 00:55:37,349
It doesn't matter, Jimmy!
1415
00:55:37,351 --> 00:55:39,184
I probably already lost her.
1416
00:55:39,186 --> 00:55:41,552
I might as well tell her
what I really feel.
1417
00:55:41,554 --> 00:55:44,072
Okay, okay I'll tell her that.
1418
00:55:44,074 --> 00:55:45,690
It's gonna sound fruity.
1419
00:55:49,463 --> 00:55:52,164
I can't wait till we get instant messaging down here.
1420
00:55:53,583 --> 00:55:55,750
Melissa, Carl told
me to tell you
1421
00:55:55,752 --> 00:55:57,719
he wasn't looking
for a partner either
1422
00:55:57,721 --> 00:55:59,254
but then, when he saw you,
1423
00:55:59,256 --> 00:56:02,707
it felt like a lightning bolt was going through his veins.
1424
00:56:02,709 --> 00:56:05,010
That's... that's what he wanted me to tell you.
1425
00:56:05,012 --> 00:56:06,494
Now I will leave.
1426
00:56:06,496 --> 00:56:08,062
Wait.
1427
00:56:08,064 --> 00:56:08,980
He said that?
1428
00:56:10,067 --> 00:56:11,549
Yeah.
1429
00:56:11,551 --> 00:56:13,852
I...
I mean the part about the lightning bolt?
1430
00:56:13,854 --> 00:56:16,704
Yeah,
he should write greeting cards, shouldn't he?
1431
00:56:18,292 --> 00:56:19,273
Thank you, Jimmy.
1432
00:56:22,795 --> 00:56:23,845
What did I say?
1433
00:56:26,967 --> 00:56:27,949
Hi.
1434
00:56:29,136 --> 00:56:30,084
Hi.
1435
00:56:36,259 --> 00:56:38,493
Did you feel that?
1436
00:56:38,495 --> 00:56:39,410
The second I saw you.
1437
00:56:40,931 --> 00:56:42,730
You wanna go for a walk, Carl?
1438
00:56:44,017 --> 00:56:46,717
I'm a penguin.
I can always go for a walk.
1439
00:56:48,321 --> 00:56:50,071
Come on, silly.
1440
00:56:52,109 --> 00:56:53,475
Damn, I'm good.
1441
00:56:55,945 --> 00:56:59,663
Some of the lucky ones have found true love.
1442
00:56:59,665 --> 00:57:01,632
I can't believe you've chosen me.
1443
00:57:01,634 --> 00:57:04,102
You've chosen me too, silly.
1444
00:57:04,104 --> 00:57:05,970
You're nothing like
the other girls.
1445
00:57:05,972 --> 00:57:07,972
How am I different?
1446
00:57:07,974 --> 00:57:11,759
Well, you...
you've got a little dot or mark or something
1447
00:57:11,761 --> 00:57:13,027
under your left eye there.
1448
00:57:13,029 --> 00:57:15,079
I've never seen anything like it before.
1449
00:57:16,382 --> 00:57:18,416
You know exactly
how to get to me.
1450
00:57:20,069 --> 00:57:21,119
I do?
1451
00:57:36,336 --> 00:57:37,903
Oh, Melissa.
Ahhh.
1452
00:57:39,055 --> 00:57:40,237
Mmm.
1453
00:57:40,239 --> 00:57:41,589
Ohhh.
1454
00:57:42,976 --> 00:57:44,025
Oh, Carl.
1455
00:57:45,312 --> 00:57:48,329
Oh. Oh, my god,
that feels so good.
1456
00:57:48,331 --> 00:57:50,365
What? What, you mean
these circular motions?
1457
00:57:50,367 --> 00:57:51,582
Yes! Do that!
1458
00:57:51,584 --> 00:57:53,918
Don't... don't stop.
Just do that!
1459
00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:55,486
How about if I do that too?
1460
00:57:55,488 --> 00:57:58,256
Oh, my god, that's amazing!
1461
00:57:58,258 --> 00:58:00,191
I want to have your baby!
1462
00:58:00,193 --> 00:58:01,609
Okay.
1463
00:58:01,611 --> 00:58:03,077
Oh-h-ho!
1464
00:58:06,532 --> 00:58:07,615
Was that it?
1465
00:58:08,768 --> 00:58:09,985
Uh, yeah.
1466
00:58:12,606 --> 00:58:14,422
But I can't wait to do it again,
1467
00:58:14,424 --> 00:58:15,674
next year.
1468
00:58:15,676 --> 00:58:16,824
I want it to be with you.
1469
00:58:17,944 --> 00:58:19,844
I want that too.
1470
00:58:19,846 --> 00:58:21,913
I love you, Melissa.
1471
00:58:21,915 --> 00:58:24,733
Oh. I love you
too, Carl.
1472
00:58:39,132 --> 00:58:41,700
Most of them have now chosen a mate.
1473
00:58:41,702 --> 00:58:44,218
They will stay with
that mate almost a year,
1474
00:58:44,220 --> 00:58:47,188
as their ancestors
did before them.
1475
00:58:47,190 --> 00:58:50,375
But for now, they will
play a waiting game
1476
00:58:50,377 --> 00:58:53,160
in hopes that their
communion can create...
1477
00:58:53,162 --> 00:58:55,196
the egg.
1478
00:58:55,198 --> 00:58:58,032
But not all of them
will find a partner.
1479
00:58:59,569 --> 00:59:01,970
I can't believe I've come up dry this year.
1480
00:59:01,972 --> 00:59:03,488
I've got to sink my battleship
1481
00:59:03,490 --> 00:59:04,889
or my stored-up love juices
1482
00:59:04,891 --> 00:59:07,158
are going to explode
out of my pooter.
1483
00:59:11,731 --> 00:59:14,165
Everybody got box but me.
1484
00:59:14,167 --> 00:59:15,566
I gotta bang something.
1485
00:59:15,568 --> 00:59:16,985
I don't care what.
1486
00:59:16,987 --> 00:59:20,271
Pussy, pussy everywhere
and not a bit for me.
1487
00:59:20,273 --> 00:59:21,489
I know it's out there.
1488
00:59:21,491 --> 00:59:23,124
I can smell it.
1489
00:59:23,126 --> 00:59:25,076
Ow! What was that?
1490
00:59:25,078 --> 00:59:26,811
Hey!
Watch it, buddy!
1491
00:59:26,813 --> 00:59:28,196
That's my ass!
1492
00:59:28,198 --> 00:59:29,831
Sorry, I can't see shit.
1493
00:59:29,833 --> 00:59:32,099
Oh, excuse me.
1494
00:59:32,101 --> 00:59:33,418
Ow.
1495
00:59:33,420 --> 00:59:34,535
Hmm...
1496
00:59:34,537 --> 00:59:35,719
what's that?
1497
00:59:35,721 --> 00:59:37,454
Yeah, that feels soft.
1498
00:59:37,456 --> 00:59:39,657
Whoa, damn!
1499
00:59:39,659 --> 00:59:41,759
Oh, god!
1500
00:59:41,761 --> 00:59:43,444
Ohhh, oh, my god!
1501
00:59:43,446 --> 00:59:44,812
I can't control myself!
1502
00:59:44,814 --> 00:59:46,948
Whoo! Oh!
1503
00:59:46,950 --> 00:59:48,199
Ahhhhh.
1504
00:59:48,201 --> 00:59:50,568
Better get the fuck out of here.
1505
00:59:54,841 --> 00:59:59,477
Carl,
I thought you wanted to wait another year to do it.
1506
00:59:59,479 --> 01:00:01,146
What?
1507
01:00:01,148 --> 01:00:02,196
Huh?
1508
01:00:02,198 --> 01:00:03,981
Do what?
1509
01:00:03,983 --> 01:00:05,333
Why did you wake me, honey?
1510
01:00:05,335 --> 01:00:07,102
Don't joke about this, Carl.
1511
01:00:07,104 --> 01:00:09,470
We just had sex again.
1512
01:00:09,472 --> 01:00:11,071
This time it
was... oh,
1513
01:00:11,073 --> 01:00:13,474
it was dirtier somehow.
1514
01:00:13,476 --> 01:00:14,892
Melissa, I'm serious,
1515
01:00:14,894 --> 01:00:16,360
we did not have sex.
1516
01:00:16,362 --> 01:00:18,313
I was sound asleep.
1517
01:00:29,192 --> 01:00:31,475
I feel so violated.
1518
01:00:31,477 --> 01:00:33,261
You feel violated?
1519
01:00:33,263 --> 01:00:35,596
Yes. I'm a part
of you now.
1520
01:00:35,598 --> 01:00:39,534
Well, a part of you was not in me last night.
1521
01:00:39,536 --> 01:00:40,618
Hey, guys.
1522
01:00:40,620 --> 01:00:42,253
Weird night last night.
1523
01:00:42,255 --> 01:00:43,254
Tell us about it.
1524
01:00:43,256 --> 01:00:45,189
Well, I was walking
around in the dark,
1525
01:00:45,191 --> 01:00:46,657
almost sleepwalking...
1526
01:00:46,659 --> 01:00:48,760
when Carl said "tell us about it"
1527
01:00:48,762 --> 01:00:51,229
I think he meant we had a weird night too.
1528
01:00:51,231 --> 01:00:53,047
Oh,
it couldn't have been as weird as mine.
1529
01:00:53,049 --> 01:00:54,849
I mean I was just walking around
1530
01:00:54,851 --> 01:00:56,918
pissed off everybody
had a woman but me.
1531
01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:58,653
Oh, and congrats, by the way
1532
01:00:58,655 --> 01:01:00,404
on you two becoming a couple.
1533
01:01:00,406 --> 01:01:01,388
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
1534
01:01:01,390 --> 01:01:02,607
So I'm walking around
1535
01:01:02,609 --> 01:01:05,359
and I realise I've got like a full wood going on
1536
01:01:05,361 --> 01:01:06,444
and that was embarrassing
1537
01:01:06,446 --> 01:01:08,913
'cause I kind of
bump into this guy.
1538
01:01:08,915 --> 01:01:11,766
Then I somehow stumble upon what had to be a hot girl.
1539
01:01:11,768 --> 01:01:14,102
'Cause she smelled good
and was so warm and all.
1540
01:01:14,104 --> 01:01:15,720
But it was like
in a millisecond,
1541
01:01:15,722 --> 01:01:18,105
I was suddenly,
accidentally just...
1542
01:01:18,107 --> 01:01:19,290
wh... in her.
1543
01:01:19,292 --> 01:01:22,026
Well, forgive me for saying this,
but it was hot!
1544
01:01:22,028 --> 01:01:23,594
I mean, what's the big deal?
1545
01:01:23,596 --> 01:01:25,480
We are penguins, right?
1546
01:01:25,482 --> 01:01:28,232
Wild creatures fighting for our lives
1547
01:01:28,234 --> 01:01:29,517
in the harshest spot on earth.
1548
01:01:29,519 --> 01:01:30,902
Oh, my god!
1549
01:01:30,904 --> 01:01:31,886
M-Melissa, what?
1550
01:01:31,888 --> 01:01:33,454
Oh, my god!
1551
01:01:33,456 --> 01:01:34,438
What?
1552
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:35,957
- God!
- Last night,
1553
01:01:35,959 --> 01:01:37,959
Melissa thought that we had...
1554
01:01:37,961 --> 01:01:39,761
oh, my god!
Done it again.
1555
01:01:39,763 --> 01:01:42,430
But... I was sound asleep!
Oh, my god!
1556
01:01:42,432 --> 01:01:45,783
But someone had... oh,
my god! Done it to Melissa.
1557
01:01:45,785 --> 01:01:47,818
Oh, you don't think it was her?
1558
01:01:47,820 --> 01:01:49,787
That I... no!
1559
01:01:49,789 --> 01:01:50,805
That would be...
1560
01:01:50,807 --> 01:01:52,089
no!
1561
01:01:52,091 --> 01:01:53,274
I mean, no! Wait...
1562
01:01:53,276 --> 01:01:54,459
wait a second!
1563
01:01:54,461 --> 01:01:55,876
Let... let me
just see something.
1564
01:01:59,849 --> 01:02:00,865
No!
1565
01:02:00,867 --> 01:02:01,883
I mean, no! Wait!
1566
01:02:01,885 --> 01:02:03,885
This is my worst nightmare.
1567
01:02:03,887 --> 01:02:05,203
You were my best friend.
1568
01:02:05,205 --> 01:02:07,922
Carl, I am your best friend.
1569
01:02:07,924 --> 01:02:09,273
We just, uh...
1570
01:02:09,275 --> 01:02:11,276
we... we had a little
mix-up is all.
1571
01:02:11,278 --> 01:02:12,526
A little mix-up?
1572
01:02:12,528 --> 01:02:13,811
Calm down, Carl.
1573
01:02:13,813 --> 01:02:15,129
It doesn't help anything.
1574
01:02:15,131 --> 01:02:16,631
This is horrible.
1575
01:02:16,633 --> 01:02:17,815
Now when the egg comes out
1576
01:02:17,817 --> 01:02:20,251
we won't know if
it's my baby or his.
1577
01:02:20,253 --> 01:02:21,635
It's yours, Carl.
1578
01:02:21,637 --> 01:02:23,871
But we can't be sure of that.
1579
01:02:23,873 --> 01:02:26,724
What if the baby looks just like Jimmy and not me?
1580
01:02:26,726 --> 01:02:28,009
What if it's his baby?
1581
01:02:28,011 --> 01:02:29,944
No!
It can't be his baby!
1582
01:02:29,946 --> 01:02:31,095
Yes, it can!
1583
01:02:31,097 --> 01:02:32,579
I fell in love with you
1584
01:02:32,581 --> 01:02:34,281
and now you're going
to have Jimmy's baby.
1585
01:02:34,283 --> 01:02:36,000
I can't have Jimmy's baby
1586
01:02:36,002 --> 01:02:39,220
'cause we didn't do it
in the regular way, okay!
1587
01:02:50,317 --> 01:02:54,002
A nine-week gestation period is upon them.
1588
01:02:54,004 --> 01:02:55,670
It wasn't intentional.
1589
01:02:55,672 --> 01:02:57,755
It was late, he was desperate.
1590
01:02:57,757 --> 01:02:59,590
I can't believe you're making excuses for him.
1591
01:02:59,592 --> 01:03:01,559
I still think that you need to forgive him.
1592
01:03:01,561 --> 01:03:02,943
I can't.
1593
01:03:02,945 --> 01:03:04,194
He was in your butt.
1594
01:03:04,196 --> 01:03:05,729
Yeah. I remember.
1595
01:03:05,731 --> 01:03:08,065
I'm upset on so many levels with this, Melissa.
1596
01:03:08,067 --> 01:03:09,684
Well, I am too, Carl.
1597
01:03:11,087 --> 01:03:12,870
I think I'm going to go for a walk.
1598
01:03:12,872 --> 01:03:14,839
That's a good idea, Carl.
1599
01:03:14,841 --> 01:03:17,174
You can always go for a walk.
1600
01:03:24,984 --> 01:03:28,736
♪ We were the best of friends ♪
1601
01:03:28,738 --> 01:03:32,807
♪ And then he came
up from behind ♪
1602
01:03:32,809 --> 01:03:36,260
♪ And turned
my life around ♪
1603
01:03:36,262 --> 01:03:40,698
♪ And she didn't
seem to mind ♪
1604
01:03:40,700 --> 01:03:44,468
♪ I know deep down
she loves me ♪
1605
01:03:44,470 --> 01:03:48,973
♪ Even though
inside he slid ♪
1606
01:03:48,975 --> 01:03:50,891
It hurts...
1607
01:03:50,893 --> 01:03:57,648
♪ 'cause he loved her
in a way I never did ♪
1608
01:03:57,650 --> 01:04:00,551
♪ Oh, yes he loved her ♪
1609
01:04:00,553 --> 01:04:06,491
♪ In a way I never did ♪
1610
01:04:06,493 --> 01:04:10,561
♪ Why ♪
1611
01:04:10,563 --> 01:04:13,981
♪ Can't I try ♪
1612
01:04:13,983 --> 01:04:17,134
♪ To let it die? ♪
1613
01:04:17,136 --> 01:04:21,939
♪ He's just a guy ♪
1614
01:04:21,941 --> 01:04:25,526
♪ And I ♪
1615
01:04:25,528 --> 01:04:29,197
♪ Cannot deny ♪
1616
01:04:29,199 --> 01:04:32,917
♪ That I'll
only have her ♪
1617
01:04:32,919 --> 01:04:37,054
♪ From the other side ♪
1618
01:04:37,056 --> 01:04:41,192
♪ Oh, god he loved her ♪
1619
01:04:41,194 --> 01:04:45,012
♪ But he's not
her lover ♪
1620
01:04:45,014 --> 01:04:49,633
♪ That would be me ♪
1621
01:04:49,635 --> 01:04:55,956
♪ I must forget
he ever loved her ♪
1622
01:04:55,958 --> 01:04:59,960
♪ He didn't
really love her ♪
1623
01:04:59,962 --> 01:05:05,149
♪ He just kind
of plugged her ♪
1624
01:05:05,151 --> 01:05:12,306
♪ In a way I never did ♪
1625
01:05:14,944 --> 01:05:17,144
♪ Did ♪
1626
01:05:22,468 --> 01:05:24,736
The difficulties they
have gone through together
1627
01:05:24,738 --> 01:05:28,322
makes the male even more
pussy-whipped than he was before.
1628
01:05:28,324 --> 01:05:31,375
Melissa,
I've given it a lot of thought.
1629
01:05:31,377 --> 01:05:33,844
I know what Jimmy
did was an accident.
1630
01:05:33,846 --> 01:05:36,263
I'm sorry I was so self-absorbed
1631
01:05:36,265 --> 01:05:38,866
especially at such a poignant moment in our lives.
1632
01:05:38,868 --> 01:05:41,235
I forgive you, Carl.
1633
01:05:41,237 --> 01:05:43,887
Can you...
can you just hold on for one second?
1634
01:05:43,889 --> 01:05:45,773
Hoo, hoo, hee.
1635
01:05:45,775 --> 01:05:47,375
Hoo, hoo, hee.
1636
01:05:47,377 --> 01:05:48,893
Oh, oh, ah!
1637
01:05:48,895 --> 01:05:51,162
Ah, oh!
1638
01:05:51,164 --> 01:05:54,448
Oh, my god that frickin' hurt.
1639
01:05:54,450 --> 01:05:56,584
Say hello to your
new baby, Carl.
1640
01:05:56,586 --> 01:05:57,819
Hello.
1641
01:05:57,821 --> 01:05:59,136
He's so cute and round.
1642
01:05:59,138 --> 01:06:00,488
Uh, that's just the egg.
1643
01:06:00,490 --> 01:06:01,472
I know that.
1644
01:06:01,474 --> 01:06:03,474
Think fast, Carl.
1645
01:06:03,476 --> 01:06:05,610
And Beckham scores!
1646
01:06:07,813 --> 01:06:09,664
The egg must be kept warm.
1647
01:06:11,367 --> 01:06:14,685
The father stuffs that egg up inside his nutless sack
1648
01:06:14,687 --> 01:06:16,520
for more than two months.
1649
01:06:16,522 --> 01:06:18,339
It is during this time
that the mother
1650
01:06:18,341 --> 01:06:20,924
must make her journey
to the ocean to feed
1651
01:06:20,926 --> 01:06:22,510
before she dies of starvation.
1652
01:06:23,763 --> 01:06:26,547
The female penguins
are incredibly strong.
1653
01:06:26,549 --> 01:06:28,582
They've not eaten
in many months,
1654
01:06:28,584 --> 01:06:30,201
they've just given birth,
1655
01:06:30,203 --> 01:06:33,770
and now they also have to walk 70 miles to the ocean
1656
01:06:33,772 --> 01:06:36,039
in order to survive.
1657
01:06:36,041 --> 01:06:38,642
♪ I'm not sure but this I know ♪
1658
01:06:38,644 --> 01:06:41,012
♪ She's not sure but this she knows ♪
1659
01:06:41,014 --> 01:06:43,630
♪ Penguin dicks
get mighty old ♪
1660
01:06:43,632 --> 01:06:45,799
♪ Penguin dicksget mighty old ♪
1661
01:06:45,801 --> 01:06:48,135
♪ 70 miles on
these tiny legs ♪
1662
01:06:48,137 --> 01:06:50,338
♪ 70 miles onthese tiny legs ♪
1663
01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:52,940
♪ While our bitches stay
home sittin' on our eggs ♪
1664
01:06:52,942 --> 01:06:55,493
♪ While our bitches stayhome sittin' on our eggs ♪
1665
01:06:55,495 --> 01:06:56,777
♪ Shout out ♪
1666
01:06:56,779 --> 01:06:58,061
♪ Fuck them ♪
1667
01:07:00,432 --> 01:07:02,333
It's not the most comfortable thing
1668
01:07:02,335 --> 01:07:04,101
sitting on an egg, huh?
1669
01:07:04,103 --> 01:07:05,686
It'd be a lot more comfortable
1670
01:07:05,688 --> 01:07:07,921
if I wasn't sittin'
on my dick too.
1671
01:07:07,923 --> 01:07:10,090
Hi, Marcus.
1672
01:07:10,092 --> 01:07:11,759
Carl.
1673
01:07:11,761 --> 01:07:13,177
Hey, Jimmy!
How's it hangin'?
1674
01:07:14,731 --> 01:07:17,081
Carl,
I feel terrible about what happened.
1675
01:07:17,083 --> 01:07:19,650
I don't know what to
do or say anymore.
1676
01:07:19,652 --> 01:07:23,103
You're my best friend, Jimmy.
1677
01:07:23,105 --> 01:07:25,439
I don't want to lose you.
1678
01:07:25,441 --> 01:07:27,408
I know what you did
was an accident.
1679
01:07:27,410 --> 01:07:30,528
All I've wanted was your forgiveness, man.
1680
01:07:30,530 --> 01:07:32,296
If it's any consolation
1681
01:07:32,298 --> 01:07:33,647
I've been all alone.
1682
01:07:33,649 --> 01:07:35,516
Well, not any more.
1683
01:07:35,518 --> 01:07:37,751
You've got me and Melissa
1684
01:07:37,753 --> 01:07:39,570
and you're going to be an uncle.
1685
01:07:39,572 --> 01:07:41,805
This is so nice!
1686
01:07:41,807 --> 01:07:43,874
This makes me so happy!
1687
01:07:43,876 --> 01:07:47,945
It takes a big man to forgive his friend after he...
1688
01:07:47,947 --> 01:07:50,764
busts his woman's
booty hole open.
1689
01:07:56,389 --> 01:07:59,123
70 miles and three months later
1690
01:07:59,125 --> 01:08:02,476
the women have arrived at their
much-awaited dining spot.
1691
01:08:02,478 --> 01:08:04,044
The problem is,
1692
01:08:04,046 --> 01:08:06,080
the hole in the
ice is frozen over.
1693
01:08:06,082 --> 01:08:07,364
Hey, Helen.
1694
01:08:07,366 --> 01:08:09,833
Why don't you just stand on that thin patch of ice there
1695
01:08:09,835 --> 01:08:12,786
and make a nice hole for all of us to dive into.
1696
01:08:12,788 --> 01:08:14,989
You know what? I will.
1697
01:08:14,991 --> 01:08:16,690
Now, if you excuse me,
1698
01:08:16,692 --> 01:08:18,575
I'm going to be
the first to dine.
1699
01:08:22,314 --> 01:08:23,764
Mmm!
1700
01:08:23,766 --> 01:08:25,699
Oh! Oh, no!
1701
01:08:25,701 --> 01:08:27,468
Mmm, come here, baby!
1702
01:08:27,470 --> 01:08:28,753
Oh... oh, my god!
1703
01:08:28,755 --> 01:08:30,954
Come now, dirty rotten penguin.
1704
01:08:30,956 --> 01:08:31,972
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
1705
01:08:31,974 --> 01:08:33,090
Ah!
1706
01:08:34,277 --> 01:08:35,659
He got me in the ass!
1707
01:08:35,661 --> 01:08:38,545
This penguin's delish...
1708
01:08:38,547 --> 01:08:39,864
well,
she shouldn't have went out there.
1709
01:08:39,866 --> 01:08:42,532
Oh, oh, mmm.
1710
01:08:42,534 --> 01:08:43,967
Is there coffee?
1711
01:08:43,969 --> 01:08:45,453
It's a sad moment knowing
1712
01:08:45,455 --> 01:08:47,521
that this mother's
baby will not be fed
1713
01:08:47,523 --> 01:08:49,856
because she will not be making the journey home.
1714
01:08:49,858 --> 01:08:51,658
- Mmm!
- But then again,
1715
01:08:51,660 --> 01:08:53,660
she was such a bitch.
1716
01:08:53,662 --> 01:08:54,845
Kid's probably better off.
1717
01:08:55,998 --> 01:08:57,832
We need a moment of silence please,
1718
01:08:57,834 --> 01:09:00,134
for the loss of
our sister, Helen.
1719
01:09:00,136 --> 01:09:01,385
A'ight, let's eat.
1720
01:09:11,681 --> 01:09:15,982
The male has gone over 125 days without food.
1721
01:09:15,984 --> 01:09:19,303
But food is the last
thing on his mind
1722
01:09:19,305 --> 01:09:21,204
the moment his child is born.
1723
01:09:24,494 --> 01:09:25,776
And then...
1724
01:09:25,778 --> 01:09:28,296
out of the mouth of babes comes:
1725
01:09:28,298 --> 01:09:31,682
fu-uck!
1726
01:09:33,202 --> 01:09:35,786
Through an inexplicable instinctual link,
1727
01:09:35,788 --> 01:09:40,074
the mothers know they
have got to get home now.
1728
01:09:40,076 --> 01:09:43,577
And that beautiful day comes when the family is united
1729
01:09:43,579 --> 01:09:46,080
for the very first time.
1730
01:09:47,783 --> 01:09:49,266
Marcus!
1731
01:09:49,268 --> 01:09:50,651
Baby!
1732
01:09:56,525 --> 01:09:58,175
Oh, Marcus.
1733
01:09:58,177 --> 01:09:59,810
She's so cute.
1734
01:09:59,812 --> 01:10:01,595
Oh, and look.
1735
01:10:01,597 --> 01:10:03,564
She has your penis.
1736
01:10:03,566 --> 01:10:04,581
What?
1737
01:10:04,583 --> 01:10:06,033
Oh, Marcus.
1738
01:10:06,035 --> 01:10:07,801
I'm just fuckin' with you.
1739
01:10:07,803 --> 01:10:09,153
Melissa!
1740
01:10:09,155 --> 01:10:10,237
Carl!
1741
01:10:10,239 --> 01:10:11,705
Oh, my god!
1742
01:10:13,258 --> 01:10:15,125
Fuck!
1743
01:10:15,127 --> 01:10:18,212
Look, it's a boy, honey.
- Fuck, fuck, fuck!
1744
01:10:18,214 --> 01:10:19,663
Oh, Carl.
1745
01:10:19,665 --> 01:10:21,932
He has your neurotic glare.
1746
01:10:21,934 --> 01:10:25,619
Aw, hi there little
neurotic-looking baby.
1747
01:10:25,621 --> 01:10:27,121
Aw.
1748
01:10:33,145 --> 01:10:34,345
Hi, guys.
1749
01:10:34,347 --> 01:10:35,346
Hi, Jimmy.
1750
01:10:35,348 --> 01:10:36,396
Hey, Jimmy.
1751
01:10:36,398 --> 01:10:38,432
It's uncle Jimmy now.
1752
01:10:38,434 --> 01:10:39,900
Oh, Carl.
1753
01:10:39,902 --> 01:10:41,685
This makes me so happy.
1754
01:10:41,687 --> 01:10:43,654
I'd do a little happy dance
1755
01:10:43,656 --> 01:10:46,340
if my feet weren't covered
in bloody blisters.
1756
01:10:57,386 --> 01:10:58,635
With feeding
1757
01:10:58,637 --> 01:11:01,922
the babies grow incredibly fast.
1758
01:11:01,924 --> 01:11:06,326
I shouldn't have had that fourth piece of herring.
1759
01:11:08,297 --> 01:11:12,049
The babies are up
and almost ready to move on
1760
01:11:12,051 --> 01:11:13,784
except for the few
1761
01:11:13,786 --> 01:11:16,253
who may have a
learning disability.
1762
01:11:16,255 --> 01:11:20,290
I shouldn't have had that fourth piece of herring.
1763
01:11:23,446 --> 01:11:26,497
And so our story comes to an end.
1764
01:11:26,499 --> 01:11:28,015
The big question is
1765
01:11:28,017 --> 01:11:30,117
do penguins stay together?
1766
01:11:30,119 --> 01:11:31,235
Are they monogamous?
1767
01:11:32,321 --> 01:11:33,603
That's it, Vicky.
1768
01:11:33,605 --> 01:11:35,505
It's time for me to move on.
1769
01:11:35,507 --> 01:11:36,824
You're too strong for me, baby.
1770
01:11:36,826 --> 01:11:38,759
Get your ass over here, Marcus.
1771
01:11:38,761 --> 01:11:40,110
Now I didn't go through all that
1772
01:11:40,112 --> 01:11:41,679
to have you go back out there
1773
01:11:41,681 --> 01:11:44,447
and start fucking everything that doesn't move.
1774
01:11:44,449 --> 01:11:46,950
The answer is, in reality,
1775
01:11:46,952 --> 01:11:49,603
they do not stay together.
1776
01:11:49,605 --> 01:11:51,706
But this is not reality.
1777
01:11:51,708 --> 01:11:54,307
This is a farce.
1778
01:11:54,309 --> 01:11:57,661
The farce of the penguins.
1779
01:12:00,516 --> 01:12:01,565
I made it!
1780
01:12:01,567 --> 01:12:04,352
Juan Sanchez is at
the top of the mountain!
1781
01:12:04,354 --> 01:12:06,170
I am so stinky and dirty,
1782
01:12:06,172 --> 01:12:08,305
I am one dirty Sanchez!
1783
01:12:09,876 --> 01:12:12,042
I am the king of the world!
1784
01:12:12,044 --> 01:12:15,596
I'm the king of the world!
1785
01:12:15,598 --> 01:12:17,214
A-ah!
1786
01:12:17,216 --> 01:12:20,167
I am one dirty Sanchez!
1787
01:12:20,169 --> 01:12:23,453
Fucking global warming!
1788
01:12:23,455 --> 01:12:26,607
My god, they went and did it!
1789
01:12:26,609 --> 01:12:28,576
Damn you all!
1790
01:12:28,578 --> 01:12:30,511
Damn you!
1791
01:12:32,614 --> 01:12:33,931
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
1792
01:12:33,933 --> 01:12:36,700
We cannot end
a love story like that.
1793
01:12:39,522 --> 01:12:43,106
♪ I finally found the one ♪
1794
01:12:43,108 --> 01:12:48,562
♪ And you're the one,
it's understead ♪
1795
01:12:48,564 --> 01:12:51,214
♪ Because I love you ♪
1796
01:12:51,216 --> 01:12:55,069
♪ In a way I never did ♪
1797
01:12:55,071 --> 01:12:59,339
♪ It's exit only ♪
1798
01:12:59,341 --> 01:13:03,994
♪ Oh, yes, I love you ♪
1799
01:13:03,996 --> 01:13:12,903
♪ In a way I never did ♪
1800
01:13:12,905 --> 01:13:16,590
♪ Did ♪
1801
01:13:17,609 --> 01:13:19,976
Jay dash v-o-n.
1802
01:13:23,783 --> 01:13:26,317
You guys made $100,000,000 on that movie
1803
01:13:26,319 --> 01:13:27,634
and we didn't see shit.
1804
01:13:29,438 --> 01:13:31,739
♪ Yeah, let's go ♪
1805
01:13:31,741 --> 01:13:34,725
It was a pretty dry season for me, Sidney.
1806
01:13:34,727 --> 01:13:38,145
I mean, I had a
woman accidentally
1807
01:13:38,147 --> 01:13:39,863
but she wasn't mine.
1808
01:13:39,865 --> 01:13:42,683
She was my best friend's girl.
1809
01:13:42,685 --> 01:13:45,152
That's something I'm proud of.
1810
01:13:45,154 --> 01:13:46,954
Maybe I'll meet somebody.
1811
01:13:46,956 --> 01:13:49,222
One day.
1812
01:13:49,224 --> 01:13:51,591
♪ And when you find him ♪
1813
01:13:51,593 --> 01:13:53,827
♪ You'll know ♪
there, I said it.
1814
01:13:53,829 --> 01:13:56,246
♪ Hey sexy,
come undress me ♪
1815
01:13:56,248 --> 01:13:57,798
♪ I want you next to me ♪
1816
01:13:57,800 --> 01:13:59,016
♪ Where the kitty at? ♪
1817
01:13:59,018 --> 01:14:01,318
♪ Hey sexy,
come undress me ♪
1818
01:14:01,320 --> 01:14:02,920
♪ I want you next to me ♪
1819
01:14:02,922 --> 01:14:03,970
♪ Come and give me that ♪
1820
01:14:03,972 --> 01:14:05,889
♪ Lil' mama, get on top ♪
1821
01:14:05,891 --> 01:14:07,223
♪ It's where I am at ♪
1822
01:14:07,225 --> 01:14:08,776
♪ Plus I got
the flow on lock ♪
1823
01:14:08,778 --> 01:14:10,878
♪ Know you want to act out
'cause ya man home ♪
1824
01:14:10,880 --> 01:14:13,697
♪ But ya boy here and
you don't wanna be alone ♪
1825
01:14:13,699 --> 01:14:14,714
♪ And I'm in the zone ♪
1826
01:14:14,716 --> 01:14:15,933
♪ You a figure eight ♪
1827
01:14:15,935 --> 01:14:17,217
♪ Forget your homegirl ♪
1828
01:14:17,219 --> 01:14:19,052
♪ All she gonna do
is hate and debate ♪
1829
01:14:19,054 --> 01:14:21,004
♪ We in the place,
get next to me ♪
1830
01:14:21,006 --> 01:14:24,024
♪ You sexy, you need
to undress with me ♪
1831
01:14:24,026 --> 01:14:26,092
♪ Hey sexy,
come undress me ♪
1832
01:14:26,094 --> 01:14:27,861
♪ I want you next to me ♪
1833
01:14:27,863 --> 01:14:29,313
♪ Where the kitty at ♪
1834
01:14:29,315 --> 01:14:31,315
♪ Hey sexy,
come undress me ♪
1835
01:14:31,317 --> 01:14:32,799
♪ I want you next to me ♪
1836
01:14:32,801 --> 01:14:34,301
♪ Come and gimme that ♪
1837
01:14:34,303 --> 01:14:36,286
♪ Hey sexy,
come undress me ♪
1838
01:14:36,288 --> 01:14:37,621
♪ I want you next to me ♪
1839
01:14:37,623 --> 01:14:39,072
♪ Where the kitty at? ♪
1840
01:14:39,074 --> 01:14:41,241
♪ Hey sexy,
come undress me ♪
1841
01:14:41,243 --> 01:14:42,693
♪ I want you next to me ♪
1842
01:14:42,695 --> 01:14:44,161
♪ Come on, gimme that ♪
1843
01:14:44,163 --> 01:14:45,879
♪ Come over here,
shorty pass the yak ♪
1844
01:14:45,881 --> 01:14:48,431
♪ V.I.P. status and
the flow intact ♪
1845
01:14:48,433 --> 01:14:49,883
♪ It's a wrap,
it's where I'm at ♪
1846
01:14:49,885 --> 01:14:51,268
♪ Jay dash to the v-o-n. ♪
1847
01:14:51,270 --> 01:14:53,787
♪ I'm the one with
the flow like Neo ♪
1848
01:14:53,789 --> 01:14:56,289
♪ Get stuck with us,
know how we roll ♪
1849
01:14:56,291 --> 01:14:58,825
♪ Diverse, you can
speak German or creole ♪
1850
01:14:58,827 --> 01:15:01,161
♪ It's my reign,
and I claim to be the best ♪
1851
01:15:01,163 --> 01:15:03,780
♪ So take off your shirt,
and lift up your dress ♪
1852
01:15:03,782 --> 01:15:05,949
♪ Yes, get all
my stress relieved ♪
1853
01:15:05,951 --> 01:15:09,069
♪ You sexy, you need
to undress with me ♪
1854
01:15:09,071 --> 01:15:11,104
♪ Hey sexy,
come undress me ♪
1855
01:15:11,106 --> 01:15:12,789
♪ I want you next to me ♪
1856
01:15:12,791 --> 01:15:14,007
♪ Where the kitty at? ♪
1857
01:15:14,009 --> 01:15:16,076
♪ Hey sexy,
come undress me ♪
1858
01:15:16,078 --> 01:15:17,845
♪ I want you next to me ♪
1859
01:15:17,847 --> 01:15:19,062
♪ Come and gimme that ♪
1860
01:15:19,064 --> 01:15:21,098
♪ Hey sexy,
come undress me ♪
1861
01:15:21,100 --> 01:15:22,749
♪ I want you next to me ♪
1862
01:15:22,751 --> 01:15:24,117
♪ Where the kitty at? ♪
1863
01:15:24,119 --> 01:15:26,286
♪ Hey sexy,
come undress me ♪
1864
01:15:26,288 --> 01:15:27,871
♪ I want you next to me ♪
1865
01:15:27,873 --> 01:15:29,023
♪ Come and gimme that ♪
1866
01:15:29,025 --> 01:15:31,091
♪ G's up where
the kitties in here ♪
1867
01:15:31,093 --> 01:15:33,393
♪ What up, and we'll bring
a lot of problems in here ♪
1868
01:15:33,395 --> 01:15:36,180
♪ And we up, competition
wanna see me stopped ♪
1869
01:15:36,182 --> 01:15:38,515
♪ But we on top,
jay and muff will not stop ♪
1870
01:15:38,517 --> 01:15:40,033
♪ Right? And on the mic ♪
1871
01:15:40,035 --> 01:15:41,435
♪ I'ma tell you
how to do it ♪
1872
01:15:41,437 --> 01:15:42,719
♪ 'Cause I don't
really dance ♪
1873
01:15:42,721 --> 01:15:44,237
♪ But you know
I spit fluid ♪
1874
01:15:44,239 --> 01:15:46,139
♪ What, what, and
everybody giving me dap ♪
1875
01:15:46,141 --> 01:15:48,241
♪ And the club contact,
I just counter it back ♪
1876
01:15:48,243 --> 01:15:49,493
♪ It's a wrap ♪
1877
01:15:49,495 --> 01:15:51,427
♪ Hey sexy,
come undress me ♪
1878
01:15:51,429 --> 01:15:52,946
♪ I want you next to me ♪
1879
01:15:52,948 --> 01:15:54,297
♪ Where the kitty at? ♪
1880
01:15:54,299 --> 01:15:56,366
♪ Hey sexy,
come undress me ♪
1881
01:15:56,368 --> 01:15:57,734
♪ I want you next to me ♪
1882
01:15:57,736 --> 01:15:59,018
♪ Come and gimme that ♪
1883
01:16:02,074 --> 01:16:04,474
Hey, asshole.
My eyes are up here.
1884
01:16:04,476 --> 01:16:06,293
♪ Hey sexy,
come undress me ♪
1885
01:16:06,295 --> 01:16:07,795
♪ I want you next to me ♪
1886
01:16:07,797 --> 01:16:09,079
♪ Where the kitty at? ♪
1887
01:16:09,081 --> 01:16:11,348
♪ Hey sexy,
come undress me ♪
1888
01:16:11,350 --> 01:16:12,732
♪ I want you next to me ♪
1889
01:16:12,734 --> 01:16:14,100
♪ Come and gimme that ♪
1890
01:16:14,102 --> 01:16:16,203
♪ Hey sexy,
come undress me ♪
1891
01:16:16,205 --> 01:16:17,787
♪ I want you next to me ♪
1892
01:16:17,789 --> 01:16:19,039
♪ Where the kitty at? ♪
1893
01:16:19,041 --> 01:16:21,208
♪ Hey sexy,
come undress me ♪
1894
01:16:21,210 --> 01:16:22,676
♪ I want you next to me ♪
1895
01:16:22,678 --> 01:16:23,994
♪ Come and gimme that ♪
1896
01:19:57,942 --> 01:20:00,827
I'm Sidney!
134472
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