All language subtitles for American Pie Presents Beta House 2007.en
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Ewe
Faroese
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Ga
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Interlingua
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kurdish (Soranî)
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lingala
Lithuanian
Lozi
Luganda
Luo
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Montenegrin
Nepali
Nigerian Pidgin
Northern Sotho
Norwegian
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Occitan
Oriya
Oromo
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Punjabi
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Runyakitara
Russian
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Serbo-Croatian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Tatar
Telugu
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Tshiluba
Tumbuka
Turkish
Turkmen
Twi
Uighur
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:01,429 --> 00:01:03,731
[ Man ]
*Early in the mornin'
2
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:06,167
*Before I clear my mind
3
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,670
*I grab a funky glass
and I drink a cup of wine *
4
00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:14,142
*Then I turn my music box
to the latest news of love *
5
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:16,110
*Let the music
set me groovin' *
6
00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:20,881
*I've got to groove
groove, groove *
7
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,617
*To the music
8
00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,786
*Feel it
9
00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:28,822
*I've got to groove
groove, groove *
10
00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:31,259
*To the music
11
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:35,229
[ Man ] Man! Would you
look at all the hot tail
runnin' around this place?
12
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:37,498
Look. Look.
[ Groans ]
13
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:40,501
Dad, can you just please,
please don't embarrass me
today, okay?
14
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,870
Embarrass you?
15
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,905
Son, you spent
the entire summer
depressed...
16
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,308
because your girlfriend
ran off with that
pretty boy Trent.
17
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:50,744
Now you've gotta
get out there
and crush some ass.
18
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,546
- That's the only way you're
gonna get your mind off her.
- Yes. Yes.
19
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,482
That is what I'm talkin' about.
Yes.
20
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,850
"Crush some ass"?
Aw, come on.
21
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:59,220
Wait, wait, wait.
22
00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:01,322
I'll show you
how it's done.
No, no, no.
23
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:03,624
Shh, shh, shh. Watch this.
Just watch and learn.
Please drive--
24
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,759
Excuse me. Uh, ladies? Hi.
25
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,262
Hi. This is my son Erik.
26
00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:10,264
Hi.
Mmm.
27
00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:12,433
And, uh--
[ Clears Throat ]
28
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,735
He's moving in today,
and we were just
wondering...
29
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:18,572
if maybe either of you
were interested in
showing him a good time.
30
00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:21,709
[ Laughs ]
No, thanks.
31
00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:24,412
Oh!
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
32
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,414
He's a stallion--
[ Groans ]
33
00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:29,317
Just like his old man.
No, Dad, come on.
34
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:32,186
Well, I tried, huh?
Yeah, thanks.
Now I'm gonna have to transfer.
35
00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:34,255
[ Chattering ]
36
00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,925
Son. Son.
Yeah?
37
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:40,261
I wanna show you
something.
38
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:44,198
This is the list
of all the chicks
I ever banged.
39
00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:48,236
Are you serious?
Is that two-sided?
It is. Nice.
40
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:51,272
Yeah, it's a good goal
for you to try to keep up
with your old man.
41
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:54,608
Hey, Dad, why isn't Mom's name
the last name on the list?
42
00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:57,378
There?
Uh, we didn't tell you,
but when you were three,
43
00:02:57,411 --> 00:03:00,781
we had a trial separation
for a week.
Trial sep--
44
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:03,217
Uh, Dad, there's, like--
45
00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:05,586
Well, there's 10 names here
for that week alone.
46
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:09,257
Yeah, I went on kind
of a poontang bender there.
Is that my mom's name?
47
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,859
Yeah, you know,
on second thought I'll
just kind of hang onto that.
48
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,827
Come on, guys,
let's get loaded here.
49
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:17,865
Cooze, grab a box.
50
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,733
You had sex
with his mom?
Yeah.
51
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:22,603
How was it?
Yuck.
52
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,572
[ Chattering ]
53
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:34,348
Wow. This place is amazing.
54
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:39,520
- Hi.
- God, there are
girls everywhere.
55
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:43,524
- Uh-- This is my room.
- It still kind of sucks
we're not rooming together.
56
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,626
Dude, whatever.
You're gonna be
right down the hall.
57
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,795
Besides, I got a single.
58
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,630
Hold onto this.
I'm gonna find
a bathroom.
59
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,799
All right.
I'll be right back.
60
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:54,902
Oh, my God.
Hi. How ya doin'?
Mike Coozeman. Glad to meet you.
61
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,470
My God.
62
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:04,978
- Wow! This is gonna take
some getting used to.
- Huh.
63
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:09,517
Yeah, um, isn't--
Isn't this the guys' bathroom?
64
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:12,886
No, it's coed.
All the dorms are like this.
65
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,722
Cool. Coed. Yeah.
66
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,291
Don't worry.
I won't peek.
67
00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:20,494
Yeah, I won't peek, uh--
I won't peek either.
68
00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:22,463
I'm Ashley.
What's your name?
69
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,698
I'm Erik.
Hmm.
70
00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:29,303
-Well, it's nice
to meet you, Erik.
- Nice to meet you too.
71
00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:31,305
Hey, do you think
you could pass me my shampoo?
72
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:33,441
It's just right there.
73
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:37,811
- Mm-hmm. Yeah. Just gimme a--
a minute here, okay?
- Thanks.
74
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:54,562
-Erik?
- [ Chuckles ]
75
00:04:56,664 --> 00:05:00,601
Erik? A little help here?
76
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,776
[ Groans ]
[ Squeaking ]
77
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:12,346
[ Man ]
Ride the white whale, baby.
Ride the white whale.
78
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:14,415
Oh, my God.
Oh, man, I'm sorry.
79
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:18,018
I'm sorry.
The door was open.
You must be Erik. I'm Bobby.
80
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,853
Hi. Hey, hey.
81
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:21,889
Come on in, man.
No, no, no.
82
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:24,358
It's-- You guys are busy.
I can come back later.
83
00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:28,028
This is your place too.
Don't worry about Margie.
She's not exactly shy.
84
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:31,565
- No, she's not.
- Sit down. You want a beer?
85
00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:33,701
- Uh, no.
- You sure?
86
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:37,337
Yeah.
Are you hungry? Margie
cooked up some mean bratwurst.
87
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:41,642
No, I just had a sandwich.
Thanks.
88
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,044
- Where you from?
- East Great Falls.
89
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:48,048
East Great Falls.
[ Moaning ]
90
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,584
Slow down, sassy pants.
91
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:52,586
All right, baby,
I'm trying to have
a conversation.
92
00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,788
Yeah.
[ Chuckles ]
93
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:58,592
College! Yeah.
Best years of our lives.
94
00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:00,127
Yeah.
Put it up.
95
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:05,966
Oh, high-- High five.
[ Chuckles ]
96
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:08,101
- You wanna jump in on this?
- No.
97
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:09,870
- Come on. Margie loves it.
-No, no, no, Margie.
98
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:12,640
No. No, no, no. I'm good.
Look, uh--
99
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:14,708
It was very nice
to meet you,
Bobby and Margie.
100
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,944
Actually, I just came
to change my pants.
101
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:19,680
I spilled a drink
on it earlier.
102
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:22,916
- [ Gagging ]
- [ Chuckles ]
Are you role-playing again?
103
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:26,620
Say the safe word, baby.
Say the safe-- Baby?
104
00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:29,022
Are you choking?
Dude, I-I think she's choking.
105
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,924
- What?
-I think she's choking.
You gotta do something.
106
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:33,694
-Do something.
-I can't. I'm tied up and basted
like a Thanksgiving turkey.
107
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,897
- Hold on.
I'll find the spot.
- Come on.
108
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:39,066
- Oh.
- Breathe!
109
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:43,537
What do you want me
to do with all this--
Oh! Erik, no.
110
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,973
- [ Groaning ]
- All right, Son!
111
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:48,942
Yeah. That's what being
a Stifler's all about.
112
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:51,745
No, no. She was choking.
That's it.
113
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,747
That's how Stiflers do college.
114
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:56,049
Now, let's just give
these kids some privacy.
115
00:06:56,083 --> 00:07:00,821
Doin' good. Keep it up.
116
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:04,492
I'm not trying
to freak you out, roomie,
but I just totally came.
117
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:08,161
[ Chattering ]
118
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:13,467
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
119
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:17,070
[ Man ]
*A lollipop
And I won't stop *
120
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:20,007
*Gonna lick that sweetness
121
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,543
* [ Continues ]
122
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,912
[ Beeping ]
123
00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:36,089
Hey, ladies.
Is this where, uh--
124
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:39,159
[ Beeping ]
125
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,829
Laura Johnson
and Sara Coleman live?
126
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:46,199
Yeah. I'm Laura Johnson,
and this is my roommate Sara.
127
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:49,537
My name is Dwight Stifler.
I'm here with the freshman
welcoming committee.
128
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:54,074
I've been given instructions
to escort you ladies on
a guided tour of the campus.
129
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:56,076
- That's so sweet.
- Yeah.
130
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:57,878
Should we wear anything special?
131
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,550
* [ Pop ]
132
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:05,285
Dude, there is no way
that everybody in this
is a student here.
133
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,755
I'm, like, look--
He's holding her boob.
[ Laughs ]
134
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:10,123
-He is.
- No, man, they are.
135
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:12,125
I've had a subscription
for, like, a year.
136
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:14,862
[ Sniffs ]
Oh, that'll be good.
137
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:17,264
[ Laughs ]
That's not cologne, man.
138
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:21,068
I've used that exact issue
more times than I could count.
139
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:25,706
[ Sniffs ]
You smell pretty.
140
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,675
[ Laughs ]
Mmm.
141
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,777
Ow!
[ Knocking ]
Sorry.
142
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,045
That was so uncalled for.
143
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,684
Wow.
144
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,919
Is this Erik Stifler's room?
145
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,821
Yeah.
146
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:50,063
Welcome to college, boys.
147
00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:52,566
Yeah, no.
I wouldn't lie to you.
I'm dead serious.
148
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,168
Most sororities
won't even give you a bid
unless you've had a threesome.
149
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,270
It shows that you work well
within the group dynamic,
150
00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:59,272
that you're really prepared
for sisterhood.
151
00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:01,241
You know what I'm sayin'?
Really?
152
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,243
Yeah.
Oh, man, who is this guy?
153
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,846
Dude, he's the reason
we came to college here.
154
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,782
* [ Pop ]
[ Laughing, Chattering ]
155
00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,984
- Here we are, boys.
-[ Erik ]
Oh, man, she's hot.
156
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:13,954
- You like that?
- That was awesome.
157
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,724
I like to give
a little bit back
every now and then.
158
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:19,960
- Hey, hey, shower buddy.
- Oh, hey. Hi.
159
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:23,864
-Shower buddy?
-Yeah. Erik and I met when
I was showering this afternoon.
160
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,834
- Really?
- Yeah.
161
00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:28,869
Oh, right,
the coed bathrooms.
Yeah.
162
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,772
It took me about
three years to get the board
of trustees to approve that one.
163
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:35,375
- Worth it.
- Oh, Ashley, Hi. This--
Everyone, this is Ashley.
164
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,278
-Ashley, this is everyone.
-[ Ashley ]
Hi, everybody.
165
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:42,315
This is my roommate Denise.
She just came here from Georgia.
Hey, y'all.
166
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:46,353
Oh, well, I do declare.
A real-life Scarlett O'Hara.
167
00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:49,757
- Oh, my.
- You guys aren't
taking off, are you?
168
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,893
Yeah, we're going
to this cocktail mixer at
the Epsilon Sigma Kappa house.
169
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,896
Uh, no. No, no, no.
The geek house?
No. Trust me.
170
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,899
I wanna stay, but--
[ Ashley ]
But we promised, so--
171
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,769
Plus, Ashley thinks
this party is a little bit
déclassé.
172
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,737
What, like sleazy?
173
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,706
Hey, how you doin', sweetheart?
Grab a beer.
174
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:07,941
No, you've got the wrong idea
about this whole thing.
175
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:11,044
This is just a little
meet-and-greet that I set up...
176
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:13,046
to sort of, you know,
demonstrate our school spirit,
177
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,082
and our, you know, dedication
to this university.
178
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,117
Beta house fuckin' rules!
179
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,687
[ Crowd Cheers ]
180
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,855
- [ Yelling ]
-[ Laughter ]
181
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:26,727
- Yeah!
- Real classy.
182
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:30,030
Hmm. Erik, it was really
nice to see you again.
Yeah.
183
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:33,000
Guys.
Yeah, see ya.
184
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,869
-Bye. Nice to meet you.
- See ya.
185
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:38,939
Hey, Stifler, what's up
with this geek house?
186
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,009
-Yeah, I never even heard of it.
-I know a geek house
sounds harmless,
187
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:45,746
but they are a nightmare.
188
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:48,215
[ Dwight Narrating ]
They were a social club
for decades,
189
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,884
until a group of rich geeks
came in and threw
some money around,
190
00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:53,053
built the house
and got a new charter.
191
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:56,123
- [ Erik ] A geek fraternity?
- [ Dwight ] To get in you need,
like, perfect S.A.T. scores.
192
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:58,258
Patch that two million
to my Swiss account.
193
00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:00,093
[ Dwight ]
Then they check
your family tree...
194
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:02,395
and calculate future
earnings potential.
195
00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:06,266
No, I said buy at 60,
not sell at 60.
You're fucking fired!
196
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:09,169
[ Dwight ]
They got billionaire alumni,
Hey, it's only 100 grand.
197
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:12,205
They run the student government,
198
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:15,008
and the faculty loves 'em.
199
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:17,110
But, uh, don't even
get me started on the women.
200
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:20,047
They attract the hottest women
from the entire school.
201
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,786
[ Erik ]
Who wants to hang out
with a house full of geeks?
202
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:28,121
[ Dwight ]
It's a new world out there.
203
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:30,123
These women realize
that the geeks...
204
00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:33,060
are gonna be the millionaires
right out of school.
205
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:37,831
They've just adjusted
their nesting habits.
206
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,167
Hey, don't sweat it.
Beta's still where
the party's at, right?
207
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:44,004
Oh! Look out. Stifler--
208
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,840
The judging's about to begin.
All right.
209
00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:49,843
Judging?
210
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,846
* [ Dance ]
[ Crowd Roaring ]
211
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:02,355
Aw, the Beta house
never disappoints.
212
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:06,994
Are you serious?
It's always like this?
All the time.
213
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:09,863
-These girls are ridiculous!
- Ridiculous!
214
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:11,765
Get the clip board.
215
00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:17,871
Whoo.
216
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:20,974
Sweetie, you are naughty.
I am keeping you after class.
217
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:26,947
Bring that ruler.
I have also been bad.
218
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,482
And this one over here
has got great abs.
219
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:32,119
They look like
fresh buttered rolls
right out of the oven.
220
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,921
Great!
This is the best idea
I've ever had!
221
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:39,860
This is a chicken scratch.
You're a caveman.
222
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:42,095
Oh!
223
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,798
[ Crowd Cheering ]
224
00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:52,772
She's pullin' 'em out.
She's pullin' 'em out!
225
00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:58,778
[ Together ]
Perfect tits!
226
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:03,450
Whoo!
Whoo!
227
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,385
Beta!
Come on!
228
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:13,126
Ladies and gentlemen,
depravity is haunting
this university.
229
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:16,263
Sex, alcohol, vulgarity,
230
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,398
stupidity.
231
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:22,169
Once this was a respected
institution of higher learning.
232
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:25,538
We are declaring
a new age at
this university--
233
00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:29,376
An age in which a student's
worth is no longer measured
by his blood alcohol level,
234
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:32,279
but rather, his G.P.A.
235
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,248
We formed this fraternity
to change the way...
236
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:37,550
geeks are thought of
in this country.
237
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:41,922
But, as history has proven,
238
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,992
for a new civilization
to emerge,
239
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:48,528
another must crumble.
[ Blows ]
240
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:53,566
We must destroy the Betas.
241
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,336
* [ Dance ]
[ Chattering ]
242
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:02,375
Hey, Stacy.
243
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:06,113
My hands are wet.
I can't get this beer open.
Will you do it for me?
244
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,183
[ Cheering ]
245
00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:14,387
Thanks. Those Kegel
muscle exercises are really
payin' off, huh?
246
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:17,657
So what do we have to do
to become Betas?
247
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,993
Uh, well, obviously
you guys are cool with me.
248
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,963
What you need to do is impress
the rush chair, Wesley.
Have you guys met Wesley?
249
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,998
[ Both ]
Uh-huh.
You haven't? All right.
250
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,934
He's in the other room.
Come on. I'll introduce you.
Follow me.
251
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:29,502
* [ Piano:Fu%r Elise]
252
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:35,008
Don't be fooled
by his appearance.
253
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:38,211
His nickname is
the Blackout Menace.
254
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:41,414
He's a perfect student
except for his habit of
getting belligerently drunk,
255
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:44,117
blacking out, causing
complete and total mayhem,
256
00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:46,219
and never remembering
a thing.
257
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:48,355
[ Jet Engines Whining ]
258
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:53,593
[ Bell Dings ]
259
00:14:57,197 --> 00:15:00,033
Uh, excuse me.
260
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,936
- Where is this plane going to?
- Detroit.
261
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,938
[ Exhales ]
262
00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:08,241
[ Laughing ]
Thank God.
263
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:11,945
Uh, excuse me.
Where is it coming from?
264
00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:13,981
- Bangkok.
- [ Muttering ]
265
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,351
Whose kid is that?
Yours.
266
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:22,189
You adopted him yesterday.
Congratulations.
267
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:26,393
Hey, buddy.
268
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,563
Are you serious?
269
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:34,067
Yep. Just dropped Sung Lee off
at their embassy this last week.
270
00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:37,504
Kid nearly caused
an international incident.
271
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,539
Wesley.
272
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:41,674
Sorry to interrupt.
273
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:46,013
- Wesley, this is my cousin
and his buddies.
- Hi.
274
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,747
Uh, Erik, right?
Yeah.
275
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,617
Mike Coozeman.
How come we didn't
see you last year?
276
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:54,554
I was in a Mexican jail.
I had to tunnel my way out,
277
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,689
but I made it back
in time for finals,
278
00:15:56,723 --> 00:16:00,360
which is what we're
all about here at Beta--
education.
279
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:03,063
- Right.
- You wanna dance?
280
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,597
Yep.
Mm-hmm.
281
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,167
Let's get sexy.
282
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,402
[ Whistling ]
Hey.
283
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:12,105
You ready?
There's 100 hot,
horny chicks here tonight.
284
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,074
Countin' on you.
285
00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:16,409
* [ Hip-hop ]
286
00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:18,578
[ Man ]
*When it's time
for underground flavor *
287
00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:20,447
*Hip-hop make you change
your behavior *
288
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,516
* [ Continues, Indistinct ]
289
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,362
Get some, baby.
Get some.
290
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,408
* [ Jazz ]
291
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:54,214
*Call me irresponsible
292
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:58,118
*Call me unreliable
293
00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:02,089
*Throw in undependable too
You've gotta be kidding.
294
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:04,357
[ Pounds On Keyboard ]
Are you gonna
start drinking?
295
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:07,094
Because I desperately
need a wingman.
296
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:10,063
I'm not drinking tonight, Bull.
I had a rough night last week.
297
00:17:10,097 --> 00:17:12,199
Oh, really?
298
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,667
Really? That's fine.
299
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,836
Because then I just might
have to tell these
fine young ladies...
300
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,239
about a certain
frat boy and a...
301
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,541
- Mexican transvestite.
- All right, all right,
all right.
302
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:25,678
[ Girls Murmuring ]
One drink.
303
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,247
Yeah. Just one.
[ Sniffs ]
304
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:37,357
* [ Pop ]
305
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:41,794
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
306
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:50,370
Hey. What the hell's
with you, man?
307
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:54,207
Can you not see
all this prime ass
a foot from your face?
308
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,243
Yeah, man, I see it.
It's-- It's pretty cool.
309
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:59,112
Yeah, it's cool.
You should be
tearin' it up.
310
00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:01,648
You guys, it's just--
Remember last year
we came up here?
311
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:05,852
I had the time of my life.
I did stuff I never would have
dreamed I would have ever done.
312
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:07,854
I kind of figured
it would change me.
313
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:10,823
Yes, okay.
So you got drunk
and you ran naked, right?
314
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:13,226
But you blew it
with a really hot
sorority chick...
315
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,395
to run home and have sex
with your little girlfriend.
316
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:18,598
That might have won you
points in high school,
but this isn't high school.
317
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:22,169
- No.
- I guess you guys are right.
318
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:25,705
College is your one chance
to start over. You get to
hit the reset button on life.
319
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,674
You can be anybody
you wanna be.
320
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,342
I never thought of it
like that before.
321
00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:32,679
Yeah. Here. Slug that.
322
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:38,518
- Attaboy.
Julie, this is my cousin Erik.
- [ Woman ] Hi, Erik.
323
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:41,388
I just wanted you to know,
Erik voted for you
in the hottie contest,
324
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:43,756
and since he's, like,
the ladies' man
of the family,
325
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:47,360
I totally trust
his taste.
Thanks, cutie.
326
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:50,797
You wanna dance, gorgeous?
I'd love to.
327
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:54,334
Anybody you wanna be.
[ Mouthing Words ]
328
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:58,271
[ Man ]
*Groove, groove, groove
329
00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:00,273
*To the music
330
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,309
*Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
331
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,577
*To the music
332
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:06,679
Wow. you can really
put that away.
333
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:09,749
Kiddin' me?
This stuff is
like water to me.
334
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:12,185
*To the music--
335
00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:16,323
* [ Ends ]
[ Crowd Clamoring ]
336
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,458
Hey, hey.
Everybody settle down
for a second.
337
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,760
We're just having
a little minor
technical glitch.
338
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,862
No big deal.
We'll get everything
fixed up in a minute.
339
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,864
[ Man Laughs ]
340
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:27,300
I don't think so, Stifler.
341
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:30,470
You see, you overloaded
your prehistoric circuits.
342
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,505
I'm afraid your music
won't be coming on...
343
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:35,475
for the rest of the night.
Don't-Don't listen to him.
344
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,710
We'll get everything
fixed in a minute.
That won't matter.
345
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:41,714
Because by Jake's calculations,
based on the amount of kegs
and liquor you bought,
346
00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:45,418
you should be running out
just about... now.
347
00:19:45,452 --> 00:19:48,955
- Bullshit.
- [ Sobbing ]
The fucking kegs are dry.
348
00:19:48,988 --> 00:19:52,825
[ Crowd Clamoring ]
We're out of fucking booze!
349
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:56,296
- Aah!
- [ Groaning ]
350
00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:59,732
Settle down. It's fine.
We'll make a beer run.
They could do that.
351
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,934
Or you can all come
to the geek house,
352
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:04,937
where we have enough liquor
to last a week, along with...
353
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:08,007
all the champagne
you can drink.
354
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,744
We also have a heated pool,
and enough swimsuits
for everyone.
355
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:14,847
That is, if you even
want to wear one.
356
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,717
[ Cheering ]
[ Screams ]
357
00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:22,322
Are you fucking kidding me?
358
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:25,458
It's your choice, people.
Stay here and get puked on--
359
00:20:25,492 --> 00:20:27,260
Okay, I'm out of here.
I'm so sorry.
360
00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:29,829
Or come party V.I.P. style.
361
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:32,231
[ Cheering ]
362
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:41,574
* [ Rock ]
363
00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:44,644
Fuckin' Edgar.
[ Growls ]
364
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:48,448
Prick really knows how
to throw that money around, huh?
365
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:51,418
Oh, yeah.
Probably doesn't help
that numb nuts here...
366
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:54,053
barfed all over
the chicks, either.
367
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,022
I'm sorry about that.
368
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:59,759
- You look disgusting.
-[ Groaning ]
369
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:03,796
- Cryin' out loud, man.
- I'll clean it up.
370
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:08,635
[ Groaning ]
371
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:14,006
Not again.
372
00:21:17,677 --> 00:21:19,979
Mmm. Mornin', sexy.
373
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:24,617
Some party, huh?
374
00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:26,886
Hey, baby.
How you doin'?
375
00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:30,857
No. No, no, no.
376
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:33,760
* [ Man Singing In Spanish ]
377
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,062
How you feelin' there, Cuz?
378
00:21:36,095 --> 00:21:39,599
A lot better. Thanks.
379
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:41,968
No need for thanks.
We're family.
Right now I gotta run.
380
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:45,672
I gotta go down to the basement,
take care of some
official Beta business.
381
00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:48,875
- Have some of Peaches' eggs.
- Okay.
382
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,678
All right. Thanks, Peaches.
Adios, guapo.
383
00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:54,914
[ Dwight ]
Oh, buddy.
384
00:21:54,947 --> 00:21:57,517
[ Laughs ]
[ Man ]
Whoo!
385
00:21:57,550 --> 00:21:59,786
I love this place.
Attaboy.
386
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:01,954
Off the hook.
So, uh-- So, guys.
387
00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:03,990
The hard-on champ
is in?
Yeah.
388
00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:05,925
Aye, aye.
Yeah.
389
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:11,898
* [ Dance ]
[ Dwight ]
Yeah. I love this guy.
390
00:22:11,931 --> 00:22:14,901
Beta! I love Beta!
[ Laughter ]
391
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:16,836
[ Man ]
He had the best rack
at the party.
392
00:22:16,869 --> 00:22:19,506
Fuckin' love Beta, man!
393
00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:21,508
[ Laughter ]
Shut up. Shut up.
394
00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:24,076
Everyone calm down.
I told you I didn't
want to drink.
395
00:22:24,110 --> 00:22:26,646
Look how the pig squeals.
Look how the pig squeals.
396
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,648
All in favor
of Bobby Coolidge.
397
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:30,950
- Man, oh, yeah.
- He's in.
398
00:22:33,820 --> 00:22:35,988
[ Dwight ]
All right, all right.
399
00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:38,591
[ Man ] Oh!
[ Man #2 ]
Jesus, man.
400
00:22:38,625 --> 00:22:43,696
Whoo!
[ Wesley ] This guy really
knows how to work a room.
401
00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:45,865
Give him a bid.
He'll be a pussy magnet,
buddy.
402
00:22:45,898 --> 00:22:49,068
Yeah!
[ Laughs ]
403
00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:52,539
[ Screams ]
[ Man, Laughing ]
Oh, no.
404
00:22:52,572 --> 00:22:56,075
[ Dwight ]
All right, that's my cousin.
Take it easy.
405
00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:58,077
No offense,
brother, okay?
406
00:22:58,110 --> 00:23:01,113
But I don't know
if your cousin is up
for the challenge, man.
407
00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:03,850
I'm with Bull on this one.
408
00:23:03,883 --> 00:23:06,853
I mean, he's a nice kid,
but he passed up sleeping
with Brandy, man.
409
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:09,422
All right, all right,
all right.
410
00:23:09,456 --> 00:23:12,725
Look, I know Erik missed
his big chance to, like,
sleep with the one girl...
411
00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:14,694
that I'm assuming
everybody would lop off
your left nut to bang.
412
00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:16,996
Am I right?
[ Bull ]
Two nuts.
413
00:23:17,029 --> 00:23:19,866
- All right, does that mean
he's not Beta material?
-[ Betas ] Yes!
414
00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:24,136
He was young and dumb
and in love. He's a--
He's a late bloomer.
415
00:23:24,170 --> 00:23:26,606
I think he's gonna
surprise you this semester.
416
00:23:26,639 --> 00:23:28,841
And anyway, he's a legacy,
so he's automatically
gettin' a bid,
417
00:23:28,875 --> 00:23:30,943
so you can all fuck off.
418
00:23:30,977 --> 00:23:33,880
Aye?
Yeah.
Aye, aye.
419
00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:36,949
[ Dwight ]
Yeah, that's what
I thought, bitches.
420
00:23:36,983 --> 00:23:39,418
[ Toilet Flushes ]
421
00:23:42,722 --> 00:23:46,192
- Hey, you.
- Hi.
422
00:23:46,225 --> 00:23:51,598
- We have to stop
meeting like this.
- [ Chuckling ] Yeah.
423
00:23:51,631 --> 00:23:54,601
Are you okay?
Yeah. I just had
a really rough night.
424
00:23:54,634 --> 00:23:57,670
Oh.
[ Laughs ]
425
00:23:57,704 --> 00:24:00,473
You know, I think
Denise has a crush
on your friend Cooze.
426
00:24:00,507 --> 00:24:02,809
She thinks he's sweet.
[ Laughs ]
427
00:24:02,842 --> 00:24:05,645
- Denise thinks
Cooze is sweet.
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
428
00:24:08,881 --> 00:24:11,183
Uh--
429
00:24:11,217 --> 00:24:13,185
Wait. Ashley--
Erik, I--
430
00:24:13,219 --> 00:24:15,755
-I've been thinking--
- I'm just thinking. Do--
431
00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:19,492
- Do you wanna go
out with me once?
- Yeah.
432
00:24:19,526 --> 00:24:22,829
- Really?
- Yeah. That would be
really nice.
433
00:24:22,862 --> 00:24:25,898
Okay. Keep, uh--
You have really
pretty teeth, by the way.
434
00:24:27,066 --> 00:24:29,869
[ Door Opens, Closes ]
435
00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:35,174
[ Alarm Bell Ringing ]
436
00:24:39,646 --> 00:24:41,948
-[ Ringing Continues ]
- [ Clamoring ]
437
00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:45,017
What's goin' on?
Oh, man. This sucks.
438
00:24:45,051 --> 00:24:48,688
Hey, guys, don't go that way.
This way is quicker.
439
00:24:48,721 --> 00:24:52,158
[ Yawns ]
I was just dreamin'
about this great sandwich.
440
00:24:52,191 --> 00:24:56,028
[ Groaning ]
441
00:24:56,062 --> 00:24:58,798
[ Groans ]
Wait a second.
Where are we?
442
00:24:58,831 --> 00:25:00,867
I don't see
any sandwiches here.
443
00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:05,037
Hey, guys.
You wanna see something?
444
00:25:05,071 --> 00:25:08,074
- [ Gasps ]
-[ Cooze ]
Yes.
445
00:25:08,107 --> 00:25:11,277
That is--
[ Sizzling ]
[ All Groan ]
446
00:25:24,957 --> 00:25:27,994
Gentlemen,
447
00:25:28,027 --> 00:25:30,730
today is the first day
of the rest of your lives.
448
00:25:30,763 --> 00:25:36,068
You are the select few
who have been chosen
to pledge the Beta house.
449
00:25:36,102 --> 00:25:38,170
Beta, baby!
450
00:25:41,007 --> 00:25:44,043
Now, most fraternities
do the pledging thing...
451
00:25:44,076 --> 00:25:46,112
a little bit differently
than we do.
452
00:25:46,145 --> 00:25:48,280
Most pledging
consists of...
453
00:25:48,314 --> 00:25:52,351
hate-filled mental
and physical hazing
designed to break you down.
454
00:25:52,384 --> 00:25:56,288
But here at Beta,
I, Dwight Stifler,
your pledge master,
455
00:25:56,322 --> 00:25:59,759
have devised an elaborate
scientific plan...
456
00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:03,095
to build teamwork
and brotherhood.
457
00:26:04,196 --> 00:26:06,198
Gentlemen, I give you...
458
00:26:06,232 --> 00:26:08,367
your pledge board.
459
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,303
[ Murmuring ]
460
00:26:11,337 --> 00:26:13,940
- It's huge.
-On this pledge board
are 50 tasks...
461
00:26:13,973 --> 00:26:15,842
that you and your
pledge brothers
must complete...
462
00:26:15,875 --> 00:26:18,210
by semester's end
if you wanna become Betas.
463
00:26:18,244 --> 00:26:20,880
To start things off,
464
00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:24,784
I say we begin
with my personal favorite--
Number 37.
465
00:26:24,817 --> 00:26:26,886
[ Man ]
*Put your hands up like
466
00:26:26,919 --> 00:26:29,622
*Do it how you do it
when you *
467
00:26:29,656 --> 00:26:32,091
*Uh, uh, uh, yeah
468
00:26:32,124 --> 00:26:34,160
*Put your hands up here
Put 'em, put 'em high-- *
469
00:26:34,193 --> 00:26:36,796
Okay, so here's the lowdown.
470
00:26:36,829 --> 00:26:40,332
One of you has got to get
you ass signed by a stripper,
with photo proof.
471
00:26:40,366 --> 00:26:42,802
All right?
472
00:26:42,835 --> 00:26:45,271
All right, we're gonna
go get a drink. Wesley?
473
00:26:45,304 --> 00:26:49,942
Don'tbother us.
474
00:26:49,976 --> 00:26:53,412
- Okay, who's gonna try
and do this?
-* [ Continues ]
475
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:56,148
Oh, you guys, Igotthis.
476
00:26:56,182 --> 00:26:58,217
Who's got a pen?
Ah. That'll do.
477
00:27:01,921 --> 00:27:04,056
Hey, baby, how's about
signin' my ass
while I'm up here?
478
00:27:10,362 --> 00:27:12,865
- Whoa!
- [ Clamoring ]
479
00:27:12,899 --> 00:27:14,967
She got Cooze!
We gotta help him.
Bobby.
480
00:27:15,001 --> 00:27:18,637
- [ Groans ]
- Ooh! Down goes fatty.
481
00:27:20,707 --> 00:27:22,675
Stripper brawl!
482
00:27:24,110 --> 00:27:28,180
* [ Hard Rock ]
483
00:27:28,214 --> 00:27:30,282
Ooh! Cousin got clothes-lined.
That's a shame.
484
00:27:31,818 --> 00:27:34,353
[ Grunts ]
485
00:27:34,386 --> 00:27:36,322
That's gonna leave
a big bruise.
486
00:27:41,427 --> 00:27:43,362
Those girls
are wild tonight.
487
00:27:45,998 --> 00:27:48,735
I used to fuck
girls like you in prison.
488
00:27:48,768 --> 00:27:51,103
[ Groans ]
489
00:27:51,137 --> 00:27:53,806
Oh, I love
a good stripper brawl.
490
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,108
Who doesn't?
491
00:27:56,142 --> 00:27:59,879
-[ Cooze ]
She started it.
- Here's your fuckin' shoe!
492
00:27:59,912 --> 00:28:03,182
What? I didn't do anything.
You charged that stripper
with a pen,
493
00:28:03,215 --> 00:28:06,085
like you were gonna
shove it in her ass.
494
00:28:06,118 --> 00:28:08,187
If her panties had smelled
like waffles you'd have done
something about it.
495
00:28:08,220 --> 00:28:10,322
Guys, shut up.
Shut up.
[ Chattering ]
496
00:28:10,356 --> 00:28:12,759
Fat idiot.
Ow!
497
00:28:12,792 --> 00:28:14,794
There you go. See?
Bad things happen to--
Hey there, gorgeous.
498
00:28:14,827 --> 00:28:17,997
You work here?
Yeah, sweetie.
499
00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:20,166
You see, we're pledging
the Beta house right now,
500
00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:22,068
and one of our tasks
is to get our ass signed...
501
00:28:22,101 --> 00:28:24,470
by a strip--
professional dancer...
502
00:28:24,503 --> 00:28:26,906
like yourself.
503
00:28:26,939 --> 00:28:30,242
So I was just, you know,
wondering if maybe
you'd do me the honor.
504
00:28:30,276 --> 00:28:32,879
That's a different approach
than the boys usually take
in this place.
505
00:28:32,912 --> 00:28:34,981
Bend over.
506
00:28:35,014 --> 00:28:38,084
Thanks.
My name's Erik Stifler,
by the way.
507
00:28:38,117 --> 00:28:40,853
Can I get a shot
for the yearbook?
508
00:28:40,887 --> 00:28:43,823
[ Chuckles ]
[ Camera Beeps ]
509
00:28:43,856 --> 00:28:47,426
-[ Bobby ] Nice smile.
- You any relation
to Dwight Stifler?
510
00:28:47,459 --> 00:28:49,929
- He's my cousin.
- Hey, Stifler.
511
00:28:49,962 --> 00:28:53,032
Candy, how are you, sweetheart?
Good to see you.
512
00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:55,434
I can see where
he gets his charm from.
513
00:28:55,467 --> 00:28:58,971
You come
see me soon, okay?
You know I will.
514
00:28:59,005 --> 00:29:04,210
All right, boys.
Hey, congratulations.
Task 37 in the bag.
515
00:29:04,243 --> 00:29:08,014
Good job, boys.
That's our first task completed.
516
00:29:08,047 --> 00:29:11,017
I think that
stripper's implant
broke my face.
517
00:29:22,361 --> 00:29:24,964
- Task 15 is go.
- [ Honking ]
518
00:29:29,869 --> 00:29:32,839
- Steal an ostrich.
- Have sex in the dean's office.
519
00:29:32,872 --> 00:29:35,942
-Serenade a woman at the 901.
- Drink a gallon of milk
without pissing.
520
00:29:35,975 --> 00:29:39,211
- Do a traditional dance
at the International Club.
- Open an illegal casino.
521
00:29:39,245 --> 00:29:41,013
Drive down to Mexico
and get a tattoo.
522
00:29:41,047 --> 00:29:43,850
Get so drunk
you piss your pants.
523
00:30:02,334 --> 00:30:05,204
* [ Classical ]
524
00:30:17,549 --> 00:30:21,253
- Sweet Caesar's ghost.
- [ Honks ]
525
00:30:21,287 --> 00:30:23,289
- [ Honking ]
- [ Screaming ]
526
00:30:27,059 --> 00:30:30,162
Fifteen-- check.
Check.
527
00:30:30,196 --> 00:30:32,331
Sixteen-- check.
528
00:30:32,364 --> 00:30:34,967
[ Speaking
Foreign Language ]
529
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,876
Mmm.
530
00:30:43,910 --> 00:30:46,879
Hmm!
[ Speaking Foreign Language ]
531
00:30:52,351 --> 00:30:54,520
Who's that guy?
He's my Swahili instructor.
532
00:30:54,553 --> 00:30:56,488
I have my proficiency exam
next week.
533
00:30:56,522 --> 00:30:59,158
Nice.
Yeah.
534
00:30:59,191 --> 00:31:02,228
Hey, what's--
What's this golden hammer
doing in here?
535
00:31:02,261 --> 00:31:04,463
Uh, it's from
the Greek Olympiad.
536
00:31:04,496 --> 00:31:06,598
It was, like, a series
of competitions...
537
00:31:06,632 --> 00:31:08,600
involving skill
and deviant behavior.
538
00:31:08,634 --> 00:31:11,470
They got really out of hand,
so the university banned
them for life.
539
00:31:11,503 --> 00:31:13,239
The Betas were legendary
at 'em though.
We never lost.
540
00:31:13,272 --> 00:31:15,307
Cool.
Yeah.
541
00:31:15,341 --> 00:31:17,343
Oh, and remember, Erik--
542
00:31:19,478 --> 00:31:22,248
[ Speaking Foreign Language ]
543
00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:27,987
Hmm?
Yeah. Yeah.
544
00:31:28,020 --> 00:31:30,056
[ Sniffs ]
545
00:31:31,257 --> 00:31:33,125
Swahili.
546
00:31:33,159 --> 00:31:35,327
* [ Rock ]
547
00:31:35,361 --> 00:31:37,997
[ Erik ]
This place is swell, isn't it?
[ Ashley ] Yeah.
548
00:31:38,030 --> 00:31:41,033
Look how juicy.
Sucking the crab.
549
00:31:41,067 --> 00:31:42,668
Wow.
This place is fun.
550
00:31:42,701 --> 00:31:45,037
Yeah. Yeah, this place
is awesome.
551
00:31:45,071 --> 00:31:48,941
I thought you'd
like it here, you know?
552
00:31:48,975 --> 00:31:51,243
- I like this mallet.
- [ Groans ]
553
00:31:51,277 --> 00:31:53,245
[ Laughs ]
Oh, my God.
Are you okay?
554
00:31:53,279 --> 00:31:55,381
Mmm.
Here.
555
00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:58,317
It's all right.
Doesn't really
taste that bad.
556
00:31:58,350 --> 00:32:00,552
[ Laughing ]
Dude, I'm telling you--
557
00:32:00,586 --> 00:32:02,588
This chick
can't get enough of me.
558
00:32:02,621 --> 00:32:05,057
I did her again last night.
559
00:32:05,091 --> 00:32:07,259
I can't believe that.
You're the man.
560
00:32:07,293 --> 00:32:09,461
I think I know that girl.
561
00:32:09,495 --> 00:32:12,064
You know, not all frat guys
are like those guys.
I know.
562
00:32:12,098 --> 00:32:14,233
I guess I just have
a jaded opinion.
563
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:16,468
Really? Why's that?
564
00:32:16,502 --> 00:32:18,570
It's just the typical story.
565
00:32:18,604 --> 00:32:20,572
Boy meets girl.
Boy goes off to college,
joins a frat.
566
00:32:20,606 --> 00:32:23,242
Starts sleeping
with every girl he can.
567
00:32:23,275 --> 00:32:25,711
Girl finds out
and dumps his ass
during winter break.
568
00:32:25,744 --> 00:32:30,049
- Ooh.
- But that was high school.
I'm much older and wiser now.
569
00:32:30,082 --> 00:32:33,519
Right. Older and wiser, and...
you're on a date with a guy
who's pledging a frat.
570
00:32:33,552 --> 00:32:36,488
I know.
And I'm watching you.
571
00:32:36,522 --> 00:32:38,224
Dine and ditch.
Yeah.
572
00:32:38,257 --> 00:32:39,758
[ Erik ]
Yeah, it's one of my favorite--
573
00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:42,694
Ow!
Oh, my God!
Are you okay?
574
00:32:42,728 --> 00:32:45,464
Ooh, it's hot.
A little help here.
575
00:32:45,497 --> 00:32:48,167
* [ Soft Rock ]
576
00:32:50,469 --> 00:32:54,073
You are just the sweetest.
577
00:32:54,106 --> 00:32:56,175
You just bring it
out in me, babe.
578
00:32:58,210 --> 00:33:00,279
[ Man ]
*I was captured
the moment we met *
579
00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:02,314
- Perfect.
- Yeah?
580
00:33:04,583 --> 00:33:07,319
Um-- Careful.
581
00:33:07,353 --> 00:33:10,589
My feet are real sensitive.
Really?
582
00:33:10,622 --> 00:33:12,391
Yeah.
583
00:33:12,424 --> 00:33:17,563
*By the way
Just in case you care *
584
00:33:17,596 --> 00:33:20,632
-*I took a dive
in your deep blue eyes *
- Oh, my.
585
00:33:20,666 --> 00:33:23,035
*Never comin' up for air
586
00:33:23,069 --> 00:33:25,104
- I love foot massages.
-*I lost myself
587
00:33:25,137 --> 00:33:27,573
* [ Continues ]
[ Moans ]
588
00:33:29,108 --> 00:33:31,677
Oh, my. Oh, my.
589
00:33:34,313 --> 00:33:36,715
*One sweet kiss
took away my breath *
590
00:33:36,748 --> 00:33:40,419
*And you drew me in
with your tenderness *
591
00:33:40,452 --> 00:33:44,256
* [ Continues ]
Um, I can't.
592
00:33:51,597 --> 00:33:53,732
I'm sorry.
593
00:33:53,765 --> 00:33:57,503
No, that's cool.
It's totally fine. Really.
594
00:33:58,570 --> 00:34:01,707
Here.
595
00:34:01,740 --> 00:34:04,776
Let me just
take care of you.
596
00:34:04,810 --> 00:34:07,713
Okay.
597
00:34:07,746 --> 00:34:09,748
[ Laughs ]
Whoo.
598
00:34:11,817 --> 00:34:13,719
*Whenever I feel your touch
599
00:34:15,354 --> 00:34:17,423
*Whenever I'm with you
600
00:34:17,456 --> 00:34:19,725
You like that?
God, yeah.
601
00:34:19,758 --> 00:34:22,261
You do that almost as good
as I do.
602
00:34:27,699 --> 00:34:31,270
* [ Woman Singing Ballad ]
603
00:34:31,303 --> 00:34:33,339
How you feelin'?
604
00:34:33,372 --> 00:34:36,342
Hi. Good. Thanks.
605
00:34:36,375 --> 00:34:38,510
Here. Let me see.
Oh. Oh, no, no, no.
606
00:34:38,544 --> 00:34:40,679
Ashley, you really don't
need to do anything.
Oh, my God, Erik.
607
00:34:40,712 --> 00:34:43,582
- You have to put something
on that.
- No, it's a little red--
608
00:34:43,615 --> 00:34:46,252
Here. Let me.
609
00:34:48,354 --> 00:34:50,422
It's really not necessary.
610
00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:52,291
[ Inhales ]
Ooh.
611
00:34:52,324 --> 00:34:54,360
Does it hurt?
612
00:34:54,393 --> 00:34:56,395
No. It's just really cold.
613
00:34:57,396 --> 00:35:00,166
Does that feel better?
614
00:35:00,199 --> 00:35:03,169
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
615
00:35:03,202 --> 00:35:05,904
Wow.
[ Laughs ]
616
00:35:05,937 --> 00:35:08,907
Oh, man.
I didn't even touch it.
617
00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:12,311
No, it's no big deal.
I guess I should just take it
as a compliment, right?
618
00:35:12,344 --> 00:35:14,546
I'm sorry. Yeah.
I'm sorry.
It's cool.
619
00:35:16,815 --> 00:35:19,651
Wow. That cream feels good.
620
00:35:19,685 --> 00:35:23,289
Ash, you might want to--
Just relax.
621
00:35:23,322 --> 00:35:25,324
It's still hot.
622
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:31,563
[ Moaning ]
God.
623
00:35:38,870 --> 00:35:40,739
[ Moans ]
624
00:35:41,940 --> 00:35:44,310
[ Moans ]
625
00:35:53,319 --> 00:35:55,721
Oh, my God! Mr. Biggles!
626
00:36:05,731 --> 00:36:08,934
This is really,
really embarrassing.
No, it's okay. It's okay.
627
00:36:08,967 --> 00:36:12,371
I just haven't seen
anything like that.
628
00:36:12,404 --> 00:36:14,906
Well, I was a virgin
until last year,
629
00:36:14,940 --> 00:36:19,811
and then my girlfriend
dumped me about four months ago.
630
00:36:20,946 --> 00:36:23,449
Okay. Wait, wait, wait.
631
00:36:23,482 --> 00:36:26,218
Are you telling me
that you haven't--
632
00:36:26,252 --> 00:36:28,754
In four months?
633
00:36:28,787 --> 00:36:30,889
Well, you see,
there was this, uh,
634
00:36:30,922 --> 00:36:35,694
incident that made
masturbation very "taboo"--
635
00:36:35,727 --> 00:36:38,230
[ Laughs ]
in my household.
636
00:36:38,264 --> 00:36:41,400
Well, you have more
self-control than most people.
637
00:36:43,034 --> 00:36:45,937
I'm really sorry
about Mr. Biggles.
638
00:36:45,971 --> 00:36:48,340
Yeah.
639
00:36:48,374 --> 00:36:50,309
Ooh.
640
00:36:50,342 --> 00:36:52,744
Um-- Here's--
641
00:36:52,778 --> 00:36:54,980
No. It's--
Right.
642
00:36:56,715 --> 00:36:59,618
[ Bull ]
Oh, baby, I love you.
643
00:36:59,651 --> 00:37:02,954
- Baby, why won't you
tell me you love me too?
- Bull, have you seen Stifler?
644
00:37:02,988 --> 00:37:06,325
- Uh, he's in a meeting.
- What meeting would he be at?
645
00:37:06,358 --> 00:37:08,660
I don't know.
Something important.
646
00:37:08,694 --> 00:37:11,330
And it was
after my parents--
647
00:37:11,363 --> 00:37:15,467
Well, they had to fire
the fourth landscaping crew--
648
00:37:15,501 --> 00:37:17,636
um--
649
00:37:17,669 --> 00:37:19,771
because they caught me
with them,
650
00:37:19,805 --> 00:37:22,608
and that's when I knew...
651
00:37:22,641 --> 00:37:25,311
that I had a problem.
652
00:37:25,344 --> 00:37:29,748
But I have been sex-free
for two years now,
653
00:37:29,781 --> 00:37:32,684
and, you know,
never felt better.
654
00:37:32,718 --> 00:37:34,786
Whoo.
[ Laughs ]
655
00:37:39,658 --> 00:37:41,560
You are so brave.
656
00:37:43,862 --> 00:37:46,498
Get it in there! Yeah!
* [ Rap ]
657
00:37:46,532 --> 00:37:50,569
Faster. Faster.
I'm goin' as fast as I can.
658
00:37:50,602 --> 00:37:53,271
Faster, bad boy.
[ Laughs ]
659
00:37:54,540 --> 00:37:57,509
Oh, my God.
Faster, I said.
660
00:37:57,543 --> 00:37:59,578
Oh! I think I'm gonna--
661
00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:02,681
- You're gonna break it.
- Ooh! Yes! Yes!
662
00:38:02,714 --> 00:38:04,650
Ooh, God, yes.
663
00:38:04,683 --> 00:38:07,319
[ Giggles ]
Oh!
664
00:38:07,353 --> 00:38:10,322
Oh, boy. Whoo!
665
00:38:12,391 --> 00:38:15,427
[ Moaning, Giggling ]
666
00:38:20,366 --> 00:38:22,434
Call yourself a man?
667
00:38:22,468 --> 00:38:25,704
Get back here
and fuck me.
[ Giggles ]
668
00:38:25,737 --> 00:38:27,706
[ Laughs ]
669
00:38:27,739 --> 00:38:29,941
Oh, okay. Okay.
All right, listen.
670
00:38:29,975 --> 00:38:34,112
I just did three times.
Okay, I'm gonna go
get an ice pack,
671
00:38:34,145 --> 00:38:36,014
and then I'll be
right back.
672
00:38:36,047 --> 00:38:38,417
You know a secret?
673
00:38:38,450 --> 00:38:40,852
Ice packs are for pussies.
674
00:38:40,886 --> 00:38:42,988
[ Both Laugh ]
675
00:38:43,021 --> 00:38:46,458
Oh, your friend--
He wants to come play.
676
00:38:46,492 --> 00:38:48,427
I wanna see you again.
[ Growls ]
677
00:38:48,460 --> 00:38:50,396
[ Laughing ]
Oh, yeah.
678
00:38:50,429 --> 00:38:52,431
[ Growling ]
[ Laughing ]
679
00:38:52,464 --> 00:38:54,400
You're bad.
I'm a grizzly bear.
680
00:38:54,433 --> 00:38:57,436
I'm gonna steal
a picnic basket
full of orgasms.
681
00:38:57,469 --> 00:39:00,572
[ Growls ]
Okay, lay your head back.
Lay your head back.
682
00:39:00,606 --> 00:39:03,008
[ Giggling ]
Ready? You ready for it?
Oh, it's coming.
683
00:39:03,041 --> 00:39:05,644
All right,
hands and feet
inside the tram.
684
00:39:05,677 --> 00:39:08,380
Next stop:
Penetration Station, baby.
685
00:39:12,083 --> 00:39:14,653
Hey! Get back here!
686
00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:21,126
Stifler, I forgot
to tell you--
Whoa.
687
00:39:21,159 --> 00:39:24,463
Get your ass...
688
00:39:24,496 --> 00:39:26,465
over here, punk.
Okay.
689
00:39:26,498 --> 00:39:28,834
Oh!
[ Screams ]
690
00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:30,902
[ Paper Tearing ]
691
00:39:32,738 --> 00:39:36,007
Dude, on her teddy bear?
Really?
692
00:39:36,041 --> 00:39:38,644
Dude, he hasn't
busted a nut in,
like, four months.
693
00:39:38,677 --> 00:39:41,046
What do you think I should do?
Man, you gotta
beat the bishop.
694
00:39:41,079 --> 00:39:44,616
Yeah, you need
to punch that clown--
a lot.
695
00:39:44,650 --> 00:39:46,885
What are you
talkin' about?
696
00:39:46,918 --> 00:39:49,621
You need to masturbate, dude.
A lot.
A lot.
697
00:39:49,655 --> 00:39:52,090
So next time you won't
blow your load when you're
rounding first base.
698
00:39:52,123 --> 00:39:54,025
Yeah.
699
00:39:59,765 --> 00:40:04,903
*Oh, I can't wait
till the sun goes down *
700
00:40:04,936 --> 00:40:10,642
*You and me
No one else around *
701
00:40:10,676 --> 00:40:13,879
*Turn the lights down low
Just gotta clean the pipes.
702
00:40:13,912 --> 00:40:17,148
*I'm gonna love you
all night long *
703
00:40:17,182 --> 00:40:19,485
[ Chorus ]
*Gonna love you
704
00:40:19,518 --> 00:40:22,153
*Gonna love you
all night long *
705
00:40:22,187 --> 00:40:24,490
*Gonna love you
706
00:40:24,523 --> 00:40:27,459
*Gonna love you
all night long *
707
00:40:32,030 --> 00:40:33,932
[ Knocking ]
708
00:40:35,734 --> 00:40:37,903
Who is it?
Hey, it's Ashley.
709
00:40:37,936 --> 00:40:40,071
We were gonna hang out,
remember?
Ye--
710
00:40:41,673 --> 00:40:44,676
Yeah. Yeah, I remember.
711
00:40:44,710 --> 00:40:47,479
I-- I lost track
of time, Ashley.
I'll be right there.
712
00:40:47,513 --> 00:40:50,048
- Are you okay in there?
- Yeah.
713
00:40:50,081 --> 00:40:53,084
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm fine. Um--
714
00:40:53,118 --> 00:40:56,722
- Just gimme one second, okay?
- Erik, are you naked?
715
00:40:56,755 --> 00:40:59,024
I'm just putting on
my T-shirt right now.
716
00:40:59,057 --> 00:41:01,226
Uh-- There it is.
717
00:41:02,761 --> 00:41:04,796
Hi.
Hi.
718
00:41:04,830 --> 00:41:06,932
Can I come in?
Uh, no. Uh--
719
00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:09,801
The place
is actually a mess.
Bobby's disgusting.
720
00:41:09,835 --> 00:41:11,970
Oh, yeah.
But I know
a cool place we can go.
721
00:41:12,003 --> 00:41:13,972
Cool.
722
00:41:14,005 --> 00:41:15,774
[ Door Closes ]
723
00:41:17,208 --> 00:41:19,511
* [ Woman Singing Pop ]
724
00:41:19,545 --> 00:41:21,279
Yeah. All right.
725
00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:25,116
Right hand, yellow.
726
00:41:25,150 --> 00:41:28,019
Ooh. I love this game.
727
00:41:28,053 --> 00:41:31,189
Don't you fall,
or you're losin'
those boxers.
728
00:41:31,222 --> 00:41:34,526
[ Laughs ]
Oh, really?
729
00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:38,029
[ Groans ]
Are you okay?
730
00:41:38,063 --> 00:41:40,599
Uh, yeah. Ow.
731
00:41:40,632 --> 00:41:42,634
Hi.
Hi.
732
00:41:52,043 --> 00:41:54,112
Oh.
733
00:41:59,050 --> 00:42:01,152
I'm sorry.
734
00:42:01,186 --> 00:42:03,955
What-- Are you--
Are you a virgin
or something? Or--
735
00:42:03,989 --> 00:42:07,092
No.
[ Exhales ]
736
00:42:07,125 --> 00:42:09,327
It's just, when I--
737
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,563
When I get too excited--
738
00:42:13,298 --> 00:42:15,200
Oh, it's embarrassing.
739
00:42:20,806 --> 00:42:22,941
Here.
740
00:42:22,974 --> 00:42:25,276
Let me just
take care of you again.
741
00:42:25,310 --> 00:42:27,178
Okay.
742
00:42:29,147 --> 00:42:31,783
[ Laughing ]
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
743
00:42:31,817 --> 00:42:34,953
Cheers. Cheers.
744
00:42:34,986 --> 00:42:37,288
Mmm.
Mmm.
[ Laughs ]
745
00:42:37,322 --> 00:42:39,625
[ Man ]
*Something in your eyes
Let me get that for you--
746
00:42:39,658 --> 00:42:42,861
*Makes me realize
A little spillage.
No big deal.
747
00:42:42,894 --> 00:42:45,130
[ Man ]
*The stars
always shine brighter *
748
00:42:45,163 --> 00:42:48,299
*When you're near
749
00:42:48,333 --> 00:42:51,169
[ Gasps ]
It's not gonna
go off again, is it?
750
00:42:51,202 --> 00:42:54,139
Absolutely not.
I've been practicing
my self-control-- a lot.
751
00:42:54,172 --> 00:42:56,074
A lot?
A lot.
752
00:42:56,107 --> 00:42:59,044
*Is all I need
753
00:43:00,145 --> 00:43:02,247
*You're my everything
754
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:08,053
*You're all I've been
waiting for *
755
00:43:08,086 --> 00:43:11,723
* [ Continues ]
756
00:43:11,757 --> 00:43:14,726
*You're my everything
[ Giggles ]
757
00:43:16,828 --> 00:43:19,264
[ Clears Throat ]
Come on.
758
00:43:19,297 --> 00:43:22,067
Just how much
have you been working
on your self-control?
759
00:43:24,035 --> 00:43:26,638
I'm really sorry. It's--
760
00:43:26,672 --> 00:43:28,406
It's not working.
[ Laughs ]
761
00:43:28,439 --> 00:43:31,710
My stupid friends--
They said that
if I would--
762
00:43:31,743 --> 00:43:34,813
Erik, it-- It's okay.
It happens.
763
00:43:34,846 --> 00:43:36,715
Wine?
764
00:43:39,384 --> 00:43:42,220
[ Helicopters Overhead ]
765
00:43:46,191 --> 00:43:48,159
All right, boys.
We got a live one here.
766
00:43:48,193 --> 00:43:50,662
Two klicks north.
Three klicks east.
767
00:43:50,696 --> 00:43:52,831
All right.
Three klicks east.
768
00:43:54,900 --> 00:43:57,368
[ Dwight ]
Let's blast her--
The big, giant ones.
769
00:43:57,402 --> 00:43:59,270
Fire in the hole.
770
00:44:01,072 --> 00:44:03,909
Oh!
771
00:44:03,942 --> 00:44:07,779
- Oh, my God.
- [ Laughing ]
772
00:44:07,813 --> 00:44:09,848
[ Inhaling ]
Ahh.
773
00:44:09,881 --> 00:44:12,784
I love the smell
of boobies in the morning.
774
00:44:12,818 --> 00:44:14,686
Hey, so how's it goin'
with Denise?
Mmm.
775
00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:16,955
Well, okay,
so we hooked up,
776
00:44:16,988 --> 00:44:19,357
and...
777
00:44:19,390 --> 00:44:23,762
- she gave me
a couple hand jobs.
- [ Laughing ] Hand jobs?
778
00:44:23,795 --> 00:44:25,864
They're actually
the best hand jobs
I've ever had in my life.
779
00:44:25,897 --> 00:44:29,234
- Oh, really?
- Shut up.
780
00:44:29,267 --> 00:44:32,303
The only problem is,
I tried to stick my hand
down her pants--
781
00:44:32,337 --> 00:44:35,006
She pulls my hands away...
782
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:37,909
and says
she's embarrassed.
Uh-oh.
783
00:44:37,943 --> 00:44:41,079
Maybe she has an
abnormally large bush.
784
00:44:41,112 --> 00:44:44,149
Yeah, or maybe she's got
a yeast infection. Ooh.
Ugh. Come on.
785
00:44:44,182 --> 00:44:47,853
- Maybe she's got a dick.
- Huh?
786
00:44:47,886 --> 00:44:50,121
What?Crying Game,
Boys Don't Cry?
787
00:44:50,155 --> 00:44:52,190
- That's based
on true stories, boys.
- No.
788
00:44:52,223 --> 00:44:55,160
No. There's no way.
Hey, man, maybe she's
a hermaphrodite.
789
00:44:55,193 --> 00:44:58,029
Transvestite?
Little Shanghai surprise?
790
00:44:58,063 --> 00:45:01,499
You said yourself
she gives you the best hand jobs
you ever had in your whole life.
791
00:45:01,532 --> 00:45:05,303
- Yeah. So?
- So how do you think
she got so good at it?
792
00:45:05,336 --> 00:45:09,474
- Probably from workin'
her own gear.
- [ Laughing ]
793
00:45:09,507 --> 00:45:12,410
So you guys think I might have
been hooking up with a dude
this whole time?
794
00:45:12,443 --> 00:45:15,146
Maybe. There's only
one way to find out.
795
00:45:15,180 --> 00:45:18,483
You gotta get into those pants.
796
00:45:18,516 --> 00:45:21,219
Oh, wait. This is too perfect.
Load it up.
Load it up right now.
797
00:45:21,252 --> 00:45:24,055
[ All Laughing ]
798
00:45:25,490 --> 00:45:27,759
[ Dwight ]
Sorry!
799
00:45:27,793 --> 00:45:30,762
-Whoo! Yeah!
- [ All Laughing ]
800
00:45:30,796 --> 00:45:34,966
* [ Man Singing Ballad ]
801
00:45:41,172 --> 00:45:43,408
[ Moans ]
802
00:45:43,441 --> 00:45:45,343
I want you to go
down on me, Cooze.
803
00:45:45,376 --> 00:45:47,312
Are you sure?
Uh-huh.
804
00:45:47,345 --> 00:45:50,481
'Cause I can wait.
No. I want you
down there now.
805
00:45:50,515 --> 00:45:52,383
Okay.
806
00:45:54,052 --> 00:45:56,021
That's it, Cooze.
807
00:46:00,558 --> 00:46:02,427
[ Muttering ]
808
00:46:03,528 --> 00:46:05,496
That's it, Cooze.
809
00:46:05,530 --> 00:46:07,933
Suck my cock!
810
00:46:07,966 --> 00:46:10,768
She's got a dick!
Hey, are you okay?
811
00:46:12,570 --> 00:46:16,274
Oh, my God.
I just had the worst nightmare.
812
00:46:16,307 --> 00:46:18,877
What was it about?
813
00:46:18,910 --> 00:46:21,880
And who's got a dick?
I do.
814
00:46:23,414 --> 00:46:26,517
[ Screaming ]
815
00:46:30,555 --> 00:46:32,858
Oh, my God.
816
00:46:32,891 --> 00:46:36,461
I can't take this anymore.
[ Sighs ]
817
00:46:39,064 --> 00:46:42,033
[ Phone Rings ]
818
00:46:44,102 --> 00:46:47,138
[ Ringing Continues ]
819
00:46:53,011 --> 00:46:57,115
Hello?
[ Ashley ] I thought you
were gonna call me.
820
00:46:57,148 --> 00:47:01,219
Oh, hey. Uh, yeah.
I-- I fell asleep.
821
00:47:01,252 --> 00:47:03,221
I'm sorry.
[ Knock On Door ]
822
00:47:03,254 --> 00:47:05,423
Were you dreaming
about me?
823
00:47:05,456 --> 00:47:07,592
Maybe.
824
00:47:07,625 --> 00:47:09,494
Hey, can you hold on
for one sec?
825
00:47:11,997 --> 00:47:14,099
'Cause this...
826
00:47:15,433 --> 00:47:17,135
isn't a dream.
827
00:47:23,174 --> 00:47:25,243
Oh, God.
That's not mine.
That's Bobby's.
828
00:47:34,585 --> 00:47:36,988
Uh, that's not mine.
829
00:47:43,694 --> 00:47:45,931
[ Chuckles ]
830
00:47:53,104 --> 00:47:56,975
- Whoo!
- Guys! What the hell
are you doing?
831
00:47:57,008 --> 00:48:01,446
Number 33, baby.
We got a chance to do Number 33,
but we gotta go now.
832
00:48:01,479 --> 00:48:04,115
Half-naked girl here.
Sorry, Ashley.
833
00:48:04,149 --> 00:48:06,184
Dude, the manager just called.
He's got an opening.
834
00:48:06,217 --> 00:48:08,486
We haven't even
rehearsed for that bit yet.
835
00:48:08,519 --> 00:48:10,655
It's our only chance, man.
[ Whispers ]
Do it.
836
00:48:10,688 --> 00:48:13,558
Really?
837
00:48:13,591 --> 00:48:16,427
Ashley, it is Number 33.
838
00:48:16,461 --> 00:48:21,466
Maybe... we could
finish later, or something?
839
00:48:21,499 --> 00:48:23,568
It's cool.
840
00:48:25,303 --> 00:48:27,572
Really?
Mm-hmm.
I'm coming with you.
841
00:48:29,307 --> 00:48:31,309
We rocked that place.
842
00:48:31,342 --> 00:48:33,478
[ Screaming ]
843
00:48:33,511 --> 00:48:37,715
Number 46:
Sex in the stacks.
Chalk it up.
844
00:48:37,748 --> 00:48:40,651
*I just put on
my night face *
845
00:48:40,685 --> 00:48:44,689
Number 26:
Receive a golden shower.
846
00:48:44,722 --> 00:48:48,293
Twenty-seven:
Perform a Cleveland steamer.
Check.
847
00:48:48,326 --> 00:48:50,528
Get a panda in the grotto.
848
00:48:50,561 --> 00:48:55,967
Thirty: Get a "blumpkin."
After corned beef.
It was disgusting.
849
00:48:56,001 --> 00:48:58,403
-All right. Yeah.
- Yeah.
850
00:48:58,436 --> 00:49:01,006
By the power granted to me
by the great country of Canada,
851
00:49:01,039 --> 00:49:05,610
I now pronounce you
life partners.
[ Cheering ]
852
00:49:05,643 --> 00:49:08,446
- Would you like to
seal it with a kiss?
- [ Chuckling ]
853
00:49:08,479 --> 00:49:13,484
Number 41:
Make it official.
854
00:49:13,518 --> 00:49:16,554
[ Chuckles ]
'Cause I'm a gentleman.
855
00:49:16,587 --> 00:49:22,127
Wow. You boys are
such an inspiration.
856
00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:24,329
I think it's time we do a little
mid-semester celebrating.
What do you think?
857
00:49:24,362 --> 00:49:26,331
Yes.
Definitely.
858
00:49:26,364 --> 00:49:28,199
* [ Hip-hop ]
859
00:49:28,233 --> 00:49:31,569
*Let me get to work, baby
I don't wanna waste time *
860
00:49:31,602 --> 00:49:36,274
*I've been known to flirt
Every time I go I face time
See whatever works *
861
00:49:36,307 --> 00:49:39,677
Stifler. I'm afraid
I gotta see everyone's I.D.'s.
862
00:49:39,710 --> 00:49:43,381
- What?
-Come on, Manni.
You're joking, right?
863
00:49:43,414 --> 00:49:46,417
I'm afraid not.
You see, the new ownership
of this establishment...
864
00:49:46,451 --> 00:49:49,054
doesn't condone
underage drinking.
865
00:49:49,087 --> 00:49:52,757
Officers, please escort
these minors from the premises.
866
00:49:52,790 --> 00:49:55,426
-Can I touch your gun?
- All right, okay.
-[ Edgar ] Bye-bye.
867
00:49:55,460 --> 00:49:57,628
You're fuckin'
with traditions, Edgar.
868
00:49:57,662 --> 00:50:00,498
I'm not just fucking
with your traditions.
869
00:50:00,531 --> 00:50:03,368
I'm tearing them down.
[ Chuckles ]
870
00:50:03,401 --> 00:50:05,703
Take him away.
871
00:50:07,572 --> 00:50:10,341
You know, you are
way too classy...
872
00:50:10,375 --> 00:50:14,345
and have way too nice of
a body to be hanging out
with a douche bag.
873
00:50:14,379 --> 00:50:17,648
[ Chuckling ]
Don't listen to him, honey.
Your body isn't that great.
874
00:50:17,682 --> 00:50:19,584
I'll have a gimlet, please.
Thank you.
875
00:50:21,352 --> 00:50:23,488
Stifler.
What?
876
00:50:23,521 --> 00:50:25,723
- Your lawyer's here.
- Excellent. Thanks, Marty.
Send him in.
877
00:50:27,725 --> 00:50:30,361
You have a lawyer?
878
00:50:31,829 --> 00:50:34,732
Thanks for coming.
I'm glad you got here.
879
00:50:34,765 --> 00:50:37,335
Well, you know me,
I'm always down for the cause.
880
00:50:37,368 --> 00:50:40,838
- Betas for life, baby.
- Betas for life.
881
00:50:40,871 --> 00:50:43,474
- Mr. Levenstein.
- Hey, Eric. How's your
mom and dad?
882
00:50:43,508 --> 00:50:45,743
They're good.
They're really good, actually.
883
00:50:45,776 --> 00:50:49,280
Well, that's good.
Hey, guys, this is Noah.
He's a Beta alum.
884
00:50:49,314 --> 00:50:51,849
He's our house counsel
and consigliere. This guy...
885
00:50:51,882 --> 00:50:54,585
has gotten us out of more shit
than you can even imagine.
886
00:50:54,619 --> 00:50:57,555
Well, you Beta boys
do keep me busy.
That's for sure.
887
00:50:57,588 --> 00:50:59,724
Now, I've just talked
to the district attorney.
888
00:50:59,757 --> 00:51:02,727
He's an old school chum of mine.
He's willing to drop
all the charges...
889
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:07,132
if you promise
never to set foot
in the Silver Dollar again.
890
00:51:08,533 --> 00:51:11,169
This is ridiculous.
891
00:51:11,202 --> 00:51:13,371
Where am I gonna
have Sunday brunch?
892
00:51:13,404 --> 00:51:17,242
Oh, look, I know you're upset.
They do have a great omelet bar.
That's for sure.
893
00:51:17,275 --> 00:51:21,179
- But, uh, you're just
gonna have to give it up.
- No, we can't.
894
00:51:21,212 --> 00:51:26,551
These geeks,
these geeks are messin'
with the Beta way of life.
895
00:51:26,584 --> 00:51:28,319
You want to, uh,
step inside, Noah?
896
00:51:28,353 --> 00:51:30,388
Oh, it's open?
Yeah.
897
00:51:30,421 --> 00:51:33,324
Oh, thanks, Marty.
898
00:51:33,358 --> 00:51:36,794
If you wanna grab a sandwich,
I'll just be a minute.
899
00:51:36,827 --> 00:51:39,697
Look, fellas,
900
00:51:39,730 --> 00:51:43,834
there is a bigger picture here
than the "Beta way of life."
901
00:51:43,868 --> 00:51:46,571
Is that what you thought
when you were in the Beta house?
902
00:51:48,573 --> 00:51:50,575
No.
903
00:51:50,608 --> 00:51:52,910
No, it wasn't.
904
00:51:52,943 --> 00:51:56,581
- So--
-So I think something
has to be done here...
905
00:51:56,614 --> 00:51:59,417
within the confines
of the law, of course.
Of course.
906
00:51:59,450 --> 00:52:01,552
Of course.
907
00:52:01,586 --> 00:52:04,289
So, uh, what would you do?
908
00:52:04,322 --> 00:52:09,394
What would I do?
909
00:52:09,427 --> 00:52:15,566
I would crush those geeks
with every Beta muscle
in my body.
910
00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:19,504
- [ Groans ]
- But that's just me.
911
00:52:19,537 --> 00:52:21,672
See you boys at homecoming.
912
00:52:21,706 --> 00:52:23,608
Say hi to your folks, Eric.
I will. Thank you.
913
00:52:33,818 --> 00:52:36,221
[ Whispering ]
What are we doing?
914
00:52:36,254 --> 00:52:38,323
We gotta find
their trophy, bro.
915
00:52:52,603 --> 00:52:55,506
Freeze, human.
916
00:52:55,540 --> 00:52:57,775
[ Hissing ]
917
00:53:00,778 --> 00:53:04,682
[ Grunting ]
918
00:53:04,715 --> 00:53:09,854
[ Speaking Foreign Language ]
919
00:53:09,887 --> 00:53:12,357
Uphold the Galactic
Alliance...
920
00:53:12,390 --> 00:53:14,725
with my cock.
[ Growling ]
921
00:53:14,759 --> 00:53:17,462
[ Grunting, Groaning ]
922
00:53:19,530 --> 00:53:21,799
What the hell
is going on in there?
923
00:53:21,832 --> 00:53:24,835
Sounds like a dog with
its dick stuck in a vacuum.
924
00:53:24,869 --> 00:53:27,405
Hey, this way.
Come on.
I'm a husky ninja.
925
00:53:27,438 --> 00:53:28,873
Shh.
Hyah!
926
00:53:33,344 --> 00:53:34,945
[ Erik ]
There it is,
the motherboard.
927
00:53:34,979 --> 00:53:37,648
Oh.
928
00:53:37,682 --> 00:53:39,750
[ Swallows ]
929
00:53:39,784 --> 00:53:42,787
[ Gasps ]
Guys, I really
gotta take a dump.
930
00:53:42,820 --> 00:53:46,757
Oh, come on. Not now.
That fast food I ate
put me over.
931
00:53:46,791 --> 00:53:48,693
[ Groaning ]
I can't wait.
932
00:53:50,628 --> 00:53:54,765
Well, hurry up then.
That guy is disgusting.
933
00:53:54,799 --> 00:53:56,767
Hold that.
934
00:53:56,801 --> 00:53:58,969
Okay. All right.
935
00:54:05,676 --> 00:54:07,678
All right.
936
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:12,550
Gently.
937
00:54:13,951 --> 00:54:16,587
All right.
[ Alarm Blaring ]
938
00:54:16,621 --> 00:54:18,489
Come on.
939
00:54:18,523 --> 00:54:22,627
- Bobby.
-[ Alarm Continues ]
940
00:54:22,660 --> 00:54:26,797
- Ooh! Bobby,
what are you doing, man?
- Upper-decker, baby.
941
00:54:26,831 --> 00:54:29,300
- Shh.
- [ Whispering ]
Oh. Upper-decker, baby.
942
00:54:29,334 --> 00:54:33,538
[ Groaning ]
Oh, my God.
943
00:54:33,571 --> 00:54:35,873
- Betas, we are leaving.
- Go, go, go!
944
00:54:41,379 --> 00:54:43,448
[ Panting ]
What's happening?
945
00:54:52,523 --> 00:54:58,663
Well, pledges,
you completed every task on
the task board in record time.
946
00:54:58,696 --> 00:55:01,966
I, along with every other Beta
in this room, are proud...
947
00:55:01,999 --> 00:55:05,503
to call you our brothers.
948
00:55:05,536 --> 00:55:08,639
- Congratulations.
You're all Betas.
-[ Applause ]
949
00:55:09,874 --> 00:55:11,876
[ Cheering ]
950
00:55:12,777 --> 00:55:15,946
Hey, Cuz.
951
00:55:15,980 --> 00:55:17,648
Here you go.
952
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:24,655
[ Beeping ]
Oh, la, la.
Gracias.
953
00:55:24,689 --> 00:55:26,957
De nada.
954
00:55:26,991 --> 00:55:29,594
It sounds like you
got yourself a pretty good
girl there, buddy.
955
00:55:29,627 --> 00:55:31,696
Oh, yeah.
You know what, now that
pledge is finally over...
956
00:55:31,729 --> 00:55:33,631
we can spend a lot
more time together too.
957
00:55:38,068 --> 00:55:42,006
What, are you kidding me,
Edgar? Get you and the Mensa
rejects out of my house now.
958
00:55:43,674 --> 00:55:47,812
[ Beeping ]
959
00:55:47,845 --> 00:55:49,947
You have crossed me
for the last time, Stifler!
960
00:55:53,150 --> 00:55:56,387
We're gonna settle this
once and for all.
961
00:55:58,823 --> 00:56:01,692
Whoa! Hey!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
962
00:56:01,726 --> 00:56:04,629
What the fuck?
963
00:56:08,132 --> 00:56:10,468
[ Roaring ]
964
00:56:10,501 --> 00:56:12,470
We, the members
of the geek house,
965
00:56:12,503 --> 00:56:14,539
challenge you,
the Beta house,
966
00:56:14,572 --> 00:56:17,542
to the Greek Olympiad.
The Greek Olympiad?
967
00:56:17,575 --> 00:56:20,811
As much as I'd love
to kick your geek ass
up and down the field, Ed,
968
00:56:20,845 --> 00:56:24,081
I hate to tell you
the Greek Olympiad has
been banned for, like, 40 years.
969
00:56:24,114 --> 00:56:26,684
[ Chuckling ]
What's the matter?
970
00:56:26,717 --> 00:56:29,887
Afraid to get into
a little trouble, Stifler?
971
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:32,089
Afraid?
972
00:56:32,122 --> 00:56:34,058
[ Chuckles ]
Let's do this.
973
00:56:34,091 --> 00:56:38,496
Oh, but there is one catch.
We are playing for charters.
974
00:56:38,529 --> 00:56:43,000
If we win, you give up
your charter, and you move
out of the Beta house.
975
00:56:43,033 --> 00:56:46,871
And if you win,
we move out...
976
00:56:46,904 --> 00:56:51,008
- and you take our house.
- This place against
your mansion?
977
00:56:51,041 --> 00:56:54,512
Consider it another tradition
I plan to tear down.
978
00:56:55,646 --> 00:56:57,548
You're on.
979
00:56:57,582 --> 00:57:01,619
[ Chuckling ]
Vaya con Dios.
980
00:57:01,652 --> 00:57:06,891
Are you out of your mind?
The Greek Olympiad has
been banned for life.
981
00:57:06,924 --> 00:57:08,893
You'll all get
thrown off campus.
982
00:57:08,926 --> 00:57:11,696
That's a chance
we're gonna have to take.
983
00:57:11,729 --> 00:57:13,998
Oh, but the Greek
Olympiad is crazy.
984
00:57:14,031 --> 00:57:18,202
I mean, yes,
it's a combination skill,
endurance, athleticism, granted,
985
00:57:18,235 --> 00:57:20,971
but there is a degree
of perversion in these games...
986
00:57:21,005 --> 00:57:24,809
which I don't think
would serve you kids well.
987
00:57:24,842 --> 00:57:28,613
Do you happen to remember
the name of the last captain
to ever win the Greek Olympiad?
988
00:57:28,646 --> 00:57:31,782
Well, I haven't the foggiest,
because it was so long ago. I--
His name...
989
00:57:31,816 --> 00:57:34,585
was Noah Levenstein.
990
00:57:34,619 --> 00:57:36,787
Uh-huh.
991
00:57:36,821 --> 00:57:39,223
Well, I knew that would
catch up to me one day.
992
00:57:39,256 --> 00:57:42,226
But, you know, fellas, look,
I didn't know what was
going on back then.
993
00:57:42,259 --> 00:57:45,896
- I was just a dumb kid.
- Mr. Levenstein, we need you.
994
00:57:45,930 --> 00:57:51,268
Tradition states that
the last team captain to win
comes back to officiate.
995
00:57:51,301 --> 00:57:55,840
I know it's tradition.
I-- I--
996
00:57:55,873 --> 00:57:59,243
I suppose I could do it.
I'd have to call in and take
a few personal days.
997
00:57:59,276 --> 00:58:02,647
-Excellent. You will not
regret this. I promise you.
-Stifler!
998
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:04,882
This just came
for you, man.
What is it?
999
00:58:09,854 --> 00:58:11,956
This is interesting.
1000
00:58:12,857 --> 00:58:15,526
Hello.
1001
00:58:17,061 --> 00:58:20,030
I'm here.
What's this big bombshell?
1002
00:58:27,572 --> 00:58:29,540
Are you sure
you weren't followed?
1003
00:58:29,574 --> 00:58:31,976
You. What the hell
are you doing here?
1004
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:38,549
- Well, well, Stifler.
- Rock.
1005
00:58:38,583 --> 00:58:42,753
Looks like we meet again.
All right. This is a setup.
I'm out of here.
1006
00:58:42,787 --> 00:58:44,889
Relax, ass clown.
1007
00:58:44,922 --> 00:58:47,057
The enemy of my enemy
is my friend.
1008
00:58:47,091 --> 00:58:50,761
What we had was a rivalry.
1009
00:58:50,795 --> 00:58:53,664
But what Edgar did
got us kicked off campus.
1010
00:58:54,932 --> 00:58:58,669
Wait, how-how do you
even know the guy?
1011
00:58:58,703 --> 00:59:01,205
He tried to pledge
our house three years ago.
1012
00:59:01,238 --> 00:59:06,310
He was the first
regular-size guy to rush
the little-person frat.
1013
00:59:06,343 --> 00:59:09,179
They used to have this
tradition where we put
a sheep in the basement.
1014
00:59:09,213 --> 00:59:11,949
Be gentle.
They'd tell us
we had to bang the sheep...
1015
00:59:11,982 --> 00:59:15,119
and that we couldn't come out
until the rubber was used.
1016
00:59:15,152 --> 00:59:17,688
Now, one of
two things happened.
1017
00:59:17,722 --> 00:59:21,759
[ Sheep Bleating ]
Either they would
come out crying,
1018
00:59:21,792 --> 00:59:27,064
or they would
beat off in the rubber
and say they did the sheep.
1019
00:59:27,097 --> 00:59:29,900
And then, there was Edgar.
1020
00:59:31,902 --> 00:59:34,071
- Good luck.
-[ Bleating ]
1021
00:59:34,104 --> 00:59:36,874
[ Groaning ]
1022
00:59:36,907 --> 00:59:40,377
Oh, I'll be gentle.
It's okay.
What the fuck?
1023
00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:42,312
[ Edgar Moaning ]
We gotta check it out.
1024
00:59:42,346 --> 00:59:45,950
[ Edgar Moaning ]
1025
00:59:48,052 --> 00:59:51,155
[ Groaning ]
1026
00:59:51,188 --> 00:59:53,691
- For the love of God, man.
- [ Bleats ]
1027
00:59:53,724 --> 00:59:57,762
That sick bastard
fucked the sheep.
1028
00:59:57,795 --> 01:00:02,332
That's a great story,
but I'm a little unclear
on how it helps me.
1029
01:00:02,366 --> 01:00:06,170
[ Sighs ]
I'm sure you'll figure
something out, "Shitler."
1030
01:00:08,072 --> 01:00:10,641
* [ Fanfare ]
1031
01:00:10,675 --> 01:00:13,343
[ Cheering ]
1032
01:00:23,387 --> 01:00:26,724
Welcome to the Greek Olympiad.
1033
01:00:26,757 --> 01:00:30,928
[ Cheering ]
1034
01:00:34,832 --> 01:00:40,270
Competing today
in this ancient tradition
are the Beta house--
1035
01:00:40,304 --> 01:00:43,040
[ Cheering ]
Beta, Beta, Beta.
1036
01:00:43,073 --> 01:00:45,676
and the geek house.
1037
01:00:45,710 --> 01:00:48,412
[ Cheering ]
1038
01:00:48,445 --> 01:00:52,349
Now, when we think of
the term "Greek Olympiad,"
1039
01:00:52,382 --> 01:00:57,287
we-- we hearken back
to ancient traditions.
1040
01:00:57,321 --> 01:01:02,092
Uh, we conjure up images
of mighty warriors...
1041
01:01:02,126 --> 01:01:06,230
in their little skirts
getting all oiled up,
1042
01:01:06,263 --> 01:01:09,199
uh, writhing around
with each other.
1043
01:01:09,233 --> 01:01:14,705
Some called it wrestling.
Others called it something else.
1044
01:01:14,739 --> 01:01:19,844
But, uh, enough history.
On with the games.
1045
01:01:19,877 --> 01:01:21,812
[ Cheering ]
1046
01:01:27,885 --> 01:01:31,021
The first event is called:
The Release of Venus.
1047
01:01:31,055 --> 01:01:36,493
The man who undoes all
the brassieres on his side
the quickest wins.
1048
01:01:36,526 --> 01:01:39,764
You know, Ed.
It's really a shame...
1049
01:01:39,797 --> 01:01:42,432
all that practice on
your sister's training
bra is not gonna pay off.
1050
01:01:42,466 --> 01:01:46,136
Please, Dwight.
I spent a season in Milan
dating lingerie models.
1051
01:01:46,170 --> 01:01:48,072
It was before I met you.
1052
01:01:48,105 --> 01:01:50,040
* [ Fanfare ]
1053
01:01:50,074 --> 01:01:52,376
Gentlemen, are we ready?
1054
01:01:52,409 --> 01:01:55,880
- Get in there.
-Decline and fall, Dwight.
Decline and fall.
1055
01:01:57,181 --> 01:01:59,149
Start unsnapping.
1056
01:02:06,891 --> 01:02:09,459
*Put your finger in the pie
1057
01:02:09,493 --> 01:02:15,399
*Make you come
Make you wanna cry *
1058
01:02:15,432 --> 01:02:19,403
You know, I still hold
the record in this event.
The hands of a surgeon.
1059
01:02:19,436 --> 01:02:24,942
*On a dead-ender
I'm on a bender, a bender *
1060
01:02:24,975 --> 01:02:27,144
- [ Cooze ]
Whoa, what's up with Edgar?
- The chick's got double D's.
1061
01:02:27,177 --> 01:02:29,079
Quad clasps are really
difficult to deal with.
1062
01:02:29,113 --> 01:02:31,415
*I'm on a bender, a bender
A bender for you *
1063
01:02:31,448 --> 01:02:35,219
- [ Groaning ]
- [ Crowd Cheers ]
1064
01:02:35,252 --> 01:02:39,824
- Done. Done.
- [ Cheering ]
1065
01:02:39,857 --> 01:02:42,092
Betas win.
1066
01:02:42,126 --> 01:02:45,930
- [ Cheering ]
-*I'm on a bender, a bender
A bender for you *
1067
01:02:48,265 --> 01:02:50,534
Hey, nice try, Edgar.
1068
01:02:50,567 --> 01:02:54,104
Oh, sorry, sweetheart.
I guess I was just in the zone.
1069
01:02:54,138 --> 01:02:57,174
You know, with a little more
to work with, I might have won.
1070
01:02:57,207 --> 01:03:02,246
The next event is
the Battle of Ares.
1071
01:03:02,279 --> 01:03:08,385
Two men fighting
to the death...
1072
01:03:08,418 --> 01:03:11,922
or until one knocks
the other into the water.
1073
01:03:14,258 --> 01:03:18,595
Whoo! You guys
are so done, Edgar. Bull's
an animal with this thing.
1074
01:03:18,628 --> 01:03:21,431
Why don't you just
save some face? Give me
the deed to your place now.
1075
01:03:21,465 --> 01:03:25,102
Not quite yet.
You haven't met our
new initiate, have you?
1076
01:03:28,305 --> 01:03:31,842
[ Crowd Murmurs ]
1077
01:03:34,644 --> 01:03:36,580
His name is Dave Maul.
1078
01:03:36,613 --> 01:03:39,283
And he is the number-one-rated
light saber fighter...
1079
01:03:39,316 --> 01:03:41,151
on the science fiction
convention tour.
1080
01:03:41,185 --> 01:03:43,120
Oh, he's a virgin.
[ Laughing ]
1081
01:03:43,153 --> 01:03:46,323
Are you ready, boys?
Joust.
1082
01:03:55,032 --> 01:03:58,068
Yeah, come on!
1083
01:03:58,102 --> 01:04:01,405
- [ Crowd Gasps ]
- [ Cheering ]
1084
01:04:05,209 --> 01:04:07,144
Oh, shit!
1085
01:04:09,579 --> 01:04:11,848
[ Groaning ]
1086
01:04:16,020 --> 01:04:17,955
Finish him.
1087
01:04:19,456 --> 01:04:21,225
No!
1088
01:04:22,659 --> 01:04:25,495
- [ Groaning ]
- [ Cheering ]
1089
01:04:25,529 --> 01:04:28,032
Geeks win.
1090
01:04:28,065 --> 01:04:30,300
I need a beer.
1091
01:04:30,334 --> 01:04:33,637
The next event is called
Demeter's Feast.
1092
01:04:33,670 --> 01:04:37,607
Now, in ancient Rome,
the pig was considered sacred,
1093
01:04:37,641 --> 01:04:41,912
and, uh, often sacrificed
to the goddess of agriculture.
1094
01:04:41,946 --> 01:04:45,415
Today, we've taken a pig,
uh, greased it up,
1095
01:04:45,449 --> 01:04:48,385
and the first one
who catches it wins.
1096
01:04:48,418 --> 01:04:53,090
- [ Snorting ]
- [ Speaking French ]
1097
01:04:53,123 --> 01:04:55,092
Hey, you sure you're
up for this pigging?
1098
01:04:55,125 --> 01:04:58,128
Stifler, I grew up
on a farm with 652 pigs.
1099
01:04:58,162 --> 01:05:01,665
I can tell what
the pig is thinking.
1100
01:05:01,698 --> 01:05:03,633
[ Squealing ]
1101
01:05:05,402 --> 01:05:08,472
Come here.
[ Shouts ]
1102
01:05:08,505 --> 01:05:12,076
- [ Crowd Gasps ]
- Silly little fat man.
1103
01:05:12,109 --> 01:05:15,079
Hey, Edgar, what's the deal
with Captain Sulu?
He afraid to compete?
1104
01:05:15,112 --> 01:05:17,181
You haven't heard of
parkour, have you?
1105
01:05:17,214 --> 01:05:20,084
Lunettes. Allez.
1106
01:05:23,320 --> 01:05:25,322
- [ Crowd Gasps ]
- What the--
- [ Groans ]
1107
01:05:25,355 --> 01:05:28,458
- Go, go, go!
- [ Squealing ]
1108
01:05:28,492 --> 01:05:30,560
Come here, piggy!
Come here, piggy!
1109
01:05:36,066 --> 01:05:38,502
Pig, pig, pig, piggy!
1110
01:05:43,607 --> 01:05:46,476
[ Squealing ]
1111
01:05:49,479 --> 01:05:51,982
[ Growling ]
1112
01:06:04,061 --> 01:06:06,496
Come here, pork chop.
1113
01:06:07,597 --> 01:06:10,200
Geeks!
1114
01:06:34,758 --> 01:06:39,196
- [ Squealing ]
- [ Cheering ]
1115
01:06:39,229 --> 01:06:42,366
[ Levenstein ]
Geeks win!
1116
01:06:48,238 --> 01:06:54,744
Greek roulette is
a very dangerous game,
not for the faint of heart.
1117
01:06:54,778 --> 01:06:57,814
One of these chambers
contains a capsule...
1118
01:06:57,847 --> 01:07:01,618
with aged horse, uh, semen.
1119
01:07:01,651 --> 01:07:04,154
[ Groaning ]
1120
01:07:04,188 --> 01:07:07,491
Gentlemen, let us begin.
1121
01:07:07,524 --> 01:07:11,061
[ Clamoring ]
1122
01:07:11,095 --> 01:07:13,063
[ Man ]
Give 'em only one shot.
1123
01:07:20,704 --> 01:07:23,507
[ Groaning ]
1124
01:07:28,645 --> 01:07:31,581
[ Man ] Come on. Come on.
[ Man #2 ]
Come on, Dwight.
1125
01:07:33,117 --> 01:07:35,485
Oh.
1126
01:07:35,519 --> 01:07:40,257
It's gonna be empty.
Come on.
1127
01:07:40,290 --> 01:07:43,560
I gotta hand it to you, Edgar.
I really didn't think you'd
have thehuevosfor this.
1128
01:07:43,593 --> 01:07:45,061
I thought you'd probably
recruit one of your lackeys.
1129
01:07:45,095 --> 01:07:49,233
I wouldn't miss watching you
shoot yourself full of
horse semen for anything.
1130
01:07:51,768 --> 01:07:54,638
Come on, man.
[ All Chattering ]
1131
01:07:54,671 --> 01:07:57,141
Stuff it in there.
It's all good.
It's all good.
1132
01:07:59,409 --> 01:08:02,379
[ Cheering ]
1133
01:08:02,412 --> 01:08:04,814
- Yes!
- Yes!
1134
01:08:07,551 --> 01:08:09,819
Your turn, big boss.
1135
01:08:09,853 --> 01:08:12,256
Come on. Come on.
1136
01:08:12,289 --> 01:08:14,724
- Come on.
- Come on. Yeah!
1137
01:08:14,758 --> 01:08:16,660
[ All Shouting ]
1138
01:08:19,629 --> 01:08:22,866
[ Screaming ]
1139
01:08:22,899 --> 01:08:25,902
[ Laughing ]
Yeah!
1140
01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:28,238
- Put two canisters in there.
- Two? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Two?
1141
01:08:28,272 --> 01:08:30,374
That's too many, Dwight.
Come on. Two. He's not worth it.
1142
01:08:30,407 --> 01:08:33,910
Unless Edgar's afraid,
put in two canisters.
1143
01:08:33,943 --> 01:08:36,780
Fine! Put in two!
1144
01:08:37,781 --> 01:08:40,784
Put in two.
1145
01:08:43,187 --> 01:08:46,656
-[ Man ]
Oh, man.
- Go.
1146
01:08:46,690 --> 01:08:51,161
[ Speaking Foreign Language ]
1147
01:08:51,195 --> 01:08:55,299
[ All Shouting ]
1148
01:08:55,332 --> 01:08:57,834
All right, all right.
All right. All right.
1149
01:08:57,867 --> 01:09:00,237
Everyone quiet!
1150
01:09:00,270 --> 01:09:02,872
- We good?
- Don't worry about it.
1151
01:09:02,906 --> 01:09:05,475
- You're good, baby.
There's nothing in there.
- Oh, no. I can't watch.
1152
01:09:06,543 --> 01:09:08,712
[ Screaming ]
1153
01:09:08,745 --> 01:09:14,251
- Yes!
- Yeah! Yes!
1154
01:09:14,284 --> 01:09:16,920
- Yes!
-Betas rule!
1155
01:09:16,953 --> 01:09:18,688
- You're up.
- You're next.
1156
01:09:18,722 --> 01:09:21,925
[ All Shouting ]
1157
01:09:21,958 --> 01:09:24,761
Do it. Go.
1158
01:09:24,794 --> 01:09:28,665
Do it. Do it! Do it!
1159
01:09:28,698 --> 01:09:32,502
Pull the fuckin' trigger.
Do it! Do it!
1160
01:09:32,536 --> 01:09:34,904
Do it! Pull it!
1161
01:09:38,375 --> 01:09:40,910
Oh, boy.
1162
01:09:43,347 --> 01:09:44,981
We won!
1163
01:09:45,014 --> 01:09:46,983
Betas win.
1164
01:09:47,016 --> 01:09:49,853
Enjoy Mr. Ed's jizz.
How's the semen taste, Ed?
1165
01:09:53,590 --> 01:09:55,892
Tough loss there, Edgar,
but you know what they say, son,
1166
01:09:55,925 --> 01:09:59,863
you've gotta get right
back up on that horse...
so to speak.
1167
01:09:59,896 --> 01:10:01,931
[ Sobbing ]
1168
01:10:01,965 --> 01:10:05,302
* [ Fanfare ]
1169
01:10:05,335 --> 01:10:10,574
The ancient game of
the wife carry has been
around for centuries.
1170
01:10:10,607 --> 01:10:14,344
The first couple to
complete the course wins.
1171
01:10:14,378 --> 01:10:16,713
- [ Cheering ]
- You owe me big time for this.
1172
01:10:16,746 --> 01:10:18,915
I know.
1173
01:10:18,948 --> 01:10:22,619
- Okay. Ready?
- All right.
1174
01:10:22,652 --> 01:10:25,689
All right.
1175
01:10:25,722 --> 01:10:28,558
How pathetic.
[ Scoffs ]
Now.
1176
01:10:33,463 --> 01:10:36,300
What, are you--
Really? You trying
to give Bandhu a hernia?
1177
01:10:36,333 --> 01:10:38,568
Oh, once again,
your pathetic little brain
has let you down, Dwight.
1178
01:10:38,602 --> 01:10:40,870
Bandhu, up.
1179
01:10:40,904 --> 01:10:44,474
[ All Chattering ]
1180
01:10:44,508 --> 01:10:47,411
All right, Erik.
We got this. Let's go.
1181
01:10:47,444 --> 01:10:49,746
We're fucked.
1182
01:10:49,779 --> 01:10:52,616
[ Pistol Fires ]
1183
01:10:52,649 --> 01:10:55,785
- Come on, Erik.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
- We can beat those Betas.
1184
01:10:55,819 --> 01:10:57,921
Pick up the pace.
Faster, faster, faster.
1185
01:10:57,954 --> 01:11:00,424
How do you feel about
that advantage? Let's go.
1186
01:11:00,457 --> 01:11:03,460
[ All Chattering ]
1187
01:11:06,830 --> 01:11:08,698
[ All Shouting ]
1188
01:11:12,636 --> 01:11:15,505
[ Shouting ]
1189
01:11:20,043 --> 01:11:24,548
Maybe I should have
carried you.
1190
01:11:24,581 --> 01:11:28,718
Man, that is
one scary chick.
That's a chick?
1191
01:11:32,055 --> 01:11:35,425
And now, the Peloponnesian War.
1192
01:11:35,459 --> 01:11:38,562
The first team to consume
an entire keg wins.
1193
01:11:38,595 --> 01:11:40,864
Throwing up
does not disqualify.
1194
01:11:40,897 --> 01:11:44,634
Gentlemen,
inside this cylindrical
casing of aluminum...
1195
01:11:44,668 --> 01:11:47,937
lies 55 metric liters
of malted alcohol.
1196
01:11:47,971 --> 01:11:50,740
Remember, fellas, don't
underestimate these geeks.
1197
01:11:50,774 --> 01:11:52,842
Most of them are
lonely problem drinkers.
All right?
1198
01:11:52,876 --> 01:11:56,480
Beware, gentlemen.
These men know how to drink.
1199
01:11:56,513 --> 01:12:00,016
But we are more than they are.
We are more than men.
1200
01:12:00,049 --> 01:12:03,019
We, sirs, are geeks.
1201
01:12:03,052 --> 01:12:07,424
All right, boys. Battle.
1202
01:12:07,457 --> 01:12:10,126
- Gentlemen, chugalug.
- I can out-drink you fucks!
1203
01:12:10,159 --> 01:12:12,596
Batten down the hatches!
1204
01:12:13,830 --> 01:12:17,601
[ Screaming ]
1205
01:12:17,634 --> 01:12:19,669
We are geeks.
We can do this.
1206
01:12:19,703 --> 01:12:22,606
- [ Screaming ]
- Edgar!
1207
01:12:25,074 --> 01:12:28,945
I only have one thing
to say to you.
What's that, you philistine?
1208
01:12:36,786 --> 01:12:39,823
Puking doesn't disqualify.
1209
01:12:39,856 --> 01:12:42,992
All geeks, attack.
1210
01:12:50,534 --> 01:12:52,669
Come on, Edgar.
Let's see what you got, bitch.
1211
01:12:55,872 --> 01:12:59,142
That's all you got?
That's all you got?
1212
01:12:59,175 --> 01:13:03,112
Give it back.
Give it back.
1213
01:13:03,146 --> 01:13:07,551
Save yourselves!
1214
01:13:07,584 --> 01:13:11,655
Back to the keg!
Oh, we got a man down!
1215
01:13:11,688 --> 01:13:14,558
Gentlemen, we need to
attain maximum efficiency.
1216
01:13:14,591 --> 01:13:17,026
Irene, attach the device.
1217
01:13:22,566 --> 01:13:24,501
What the hell is that?
What is that thing?
1218
01:13:24,534 --> 01:13:27,937
Open valves.
1219
01:13:27,971 --> 01:13:30,674
That's the geeks
taking the lead.
It's time for our secret weapon.
1220
01:13:30,707 --> 01:13:32,942
Wesley! Wesley!
1221
01:13:32,976 --> 01:13:34,878
[ Shouting ]
[ Man ]
Let's go.
1222
01:13:34,911 --> 01:13:37,714
Keg stand, now!
1223
01:13:37,747 --> 01:13:40,016
About damn time!
1224
01:13:42,786 --> 01:13:45,889
Open the valve all the way.
We need warp speed
on this motherfucker.
1225
01:13:50,994 --> 01:13:54,564
- Betas win.
- [ Cheering ]
1226
01:14:00,870 --> 01:14:06,075
With the Greek Olympiad tied,
we now go into sudden death.
1227
01:14:10,680 --> 01:14:15,552
The final event is called:
The Rise of Aphrodite.
1228
01:14:15,585 --> 01:14:19,723
Quite simply,
the first man who...
1229
01:14:19,756 --> 01:14:24,928
excretes his manly,
uh, juices,
1230
01:14:24,961 --> 01:14:29,799
in the, uh,
ejaculatory sense,
1231
01:14:29,833 --> 01:14:31,901
uh, loses.
1232
01:14:40,276 --> 01:14:42,579
I cannot wait to see you
come in your pants.
1233
01:14:42,612 --> 01:14:44,914
Let's do this.
1234
01:14:47,717 --> 01:14:49,819
*We used to be
attached at the hip *
1235
01:14:49,853 --> 01:14:51,988
*Now distance attacking
our relationship *
1236
01:14:52,021 --> 01:14:55,625
*I know you got
to handle your biz
I tried to be a good girl *
1237
01:14:55,659 --> 01:14:57,594
Pi is equal to 3.1415--
1238
01:14:57,627 --> 01:15:00,229
- No big deal at all.
- 59787--
1239
01:15:00,263 --> 01:15:03,633
I feel like Santa Claus
at the local shopping mall.
1240
01:15:07,070 --> 01:15:09,573
- That was nothing.
-That was nothing
for me either. No big deal.
1241
01:15:09,606 --> 01:15:11,875
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
let it down *
1242
01:15:11,908 --> 01:15:14,110
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
make it stop *
1243
01:15:14,143 --> 01:15:16,179
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
let it drop *
1244
01:15:16,212 --> 01:15:18,748
*Go ahead, mama
You're a phenomenon *
1245
01:15:18,782 --> 01:15:20,817
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
let it down *
1246
01:15:20,850 --> 01:15:23,219
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
make it stop *
1247
01:15:23,252 --> 01:15:25,254
- *Pick it, pick it up
- *Bring it back and
let it drop *
1248
01:15:25,288 --> 01:15:27,757
I like your boobs.
[ Bobby ]
Look at this!
1249
01:15:27,791 --> 01:15:31,260
Pretend you're
sucking my man breasts.
1250
01:15:31,294 --> 01:15:35,231
Give it up, Stifler.
This is a game of
mind over matter.
1251
01:15:35,264 --> 01:15:38,034
And my brain is
way bigger than yours.
1252
01:15:38,067 --> 01:15:43,339
I've got experience on my side.
I'll take that over your Vulcan
mind tricks any day.
1253
01:15:43,372 --> 01:15:46,943
We shall see.
Bring her in.
1254
01:15:46,976 --> 01:15:49,613
We flew this young lady
in from Las Vegas.
1255
01:15:49,646 --> 01:15:51,981
She's the number-one stripper
in the Emerald City.
1256
01:15:52,015 --> 01:15:54,818
Enjoy, Dwight.
1257
01:15:54,851 --> 01:15:56,953
*Don't have to ask why
1258
01:15:56,986 --> 01:15:59,155
- No.
- Oh.
1259
01:15:59,188 --> 01:16:01,024
Good luck.
1260
01:16:01,057 --> 01:16:04,027
*Don't have to ask why
1261
01:16:04,060 --> 01:16:07,030
*Just get them hands high
Just raise 'em to the sky *
1262
01:16:07,063 --> 01:16:09,899
I'm in trouble here, boys.
1263
01:16:09,933 --> 01:16:12,669
This chick is ridiculous.
Bring her in.
1264
01:16:12,702 --> 01:16:14,871
Code red! Code red!
1265
01:16:18,908 --> 01:16:20,977
[ Bleating ]
1266
01:16:23,713 --> 01:16:26,315
- [ Bleating ]
- What the fuck?
1267
01:16:30,386 --> 01:16:33,690
Look at my tail, Edgar.
Look how fluffy it is.
1268
01:16:33,723 --> 01:16:36,292
[ Edgar ]
Stop, please.
1269
01:16:36,325 --> 01:16:39,863
- Somebody make her stop.
- What's the matter, Edgar?
You got a little wool fetish?
1270
01:16:39,896 --> 01:16:43,066
No.
1271
01:16:44,233 --> 01:16:47,070
[ Edgar Moaning ]
1272
01:16:50,406 --> 01:16:53,943
He's done.
1273
01:17:00,216 --> 01:17:03,720
- Betas win.
- [ Cheering ]
1274
01:17:05,221 --> 01:17:07,691
[ Chanting ]
Beta, Beta, Beta.
1275
01:17:07,724 --> 01:17:10,293
Beta, Beta, Beta, Beta.
1276
01:17:10,326 --> 01:17:12,696
[ Chanting Continues ]
1277
01:17:20,169 --> 01:17:25,341
To the winners--
I now present
the golden hammer...
1278
01:17:25,374 --> 01:17:30,279
- to Beta house.
- Beta, baby.
1279
01:17:30,313 --> 01:17:33,349
Congratulations, Stifler.
You've kept the Beta
traditions alive.
1280
01:17:33,382 --> 01:17:35,785
Thanks, Noah.
Betas for life?
1281
01:17:35,819 --> 01:17:38,888
- Betas for life.
- Yeah.
1282
01:17:40,156 --> 01:17:43,727
* [ Vocalizing ]
1283
01:17:43,760 --> 01:17:46,095
* [ Singing, Indistinct ]
1284
01:17:46,129 --> 01:17:48,164
Now this is a frat party.
1285
01:17:48,197 --> 01:17:50,934
No, this is a Beta party.
1286
01:17:50,967 --> 01:17:54,270
*Put yourself upon the ground
Back there and rock them
different times *
1287
01:17:54,303 --> 01:17:57,774
*Can't come back one day
to rhyme spent my dime
run down the line *
1288
01:17:57,807 --> 01:18:01,410
*Your time's up don't hesitate
Chop the suckers off like
Norman Bates, yeah *
1289
01:18:01,444 --> 01:18:03,847
*Get on and open up
your brain *
1290
01:18:03,880 --> 01:18:07,250
*We hit it to this minute
'Cause you told them
how you came *
1291
01:18:07,283 --> 01:18:11,087
- *How you what
- *Came
1292
01:18:11,120 --> 01:18:12,756
*My big-league rhyme
is a major rap *
1293
01:18:12,789 --> 01:18:16,159
Hey, I got a little
surprise for you.
Yeah?
1294
01:18:18,928 --> 01:18:22,165
A little present
for you being so patient
and understanding.
1295
01:18:22,198 --> 01:18:24,400
Okay.
1296
01:18:24,433 --> 01:18:28,037
- Are you ready
for your present?
- [ Laughing ] I'm not sure.
1297
01:18:28,071 --> 01:18:32,842
I'm really confused right now,
and I'm trying to keep
an open mind, but--
1298
01:18:32,876 --> 01:18:37,346
[ Thinking ]
Oh, man, this is
fucked up, even for me.
1299
01:18:37,380 --> 01:18:39,949
- Here it comes.
- [ Thinking ] Oh, my God.
If it's bigger than mine,
1300
01:18:39,983 --> 01:18:42,185
I swear I'm gonna pass out.
1301
01:18:42,218 --> 01:18:46,155
- I'm not wearing
any panties.
- [ Thinking ] Oh.
1302
01:18:46,189 --> 01:18:48,792
Easy, Cooze.
Everybody can see you.
1303
01:18:48,825 --> 01:18:51,260
Well, I'm sure we could
find someplace around here
with a little privacy.
1304
01:18:51,294 --> 01:18:53,797
Okay.
Let's go.
1305
01:18:53,830 --> 01:18:56,199
*Dance, come on
1306
01:18:56,232 --> 01:18:59,268
* [ Continues, Indistinct ]
1307
01:18:59,302 --> 01:19:01,437
Where are you taking me?
1308
01:19:01,470 --> 01:19:03,739
It's a surprise.
You're gonna like it.
1309
01:19:13,382 --> 01:19:15,484
I'm nervous.
1310
01:19:15,518 --> 01:19:18,822
What are you talking about?
Everything's gonna be fine.
1311
01:19:18,855 --> 01:19:21,925
Are you sure?
Yeah.
1312
01:19:25,128 --> 01:19:28,331
*You try to mend
the heart you're breaking *
1313
01:19:28,364 --> 01:19:32,768
Why don't I
take care of you?
1314
01:19:34,337 --> 01:19:36,205
Okay.
1315
01:19:37,340 --> 01:19:39,208
Okay.
1316
01:19:50,186 --> 01:19:52,989
Oh, my.
1317
01:19:54,858 --> 01:19:57,293
I can't. I can't.
1318
01:19:57,326 --> 01:20:01,497
Just let yourself go, baby.
There is nothing you can do
that's gonna surprise me, okay?
1319
01:20:01,530 --> 01:20:03,532
Are you sure?
Yeah.
1320
01:20:03,566 --> 01:20:06,102
Okay.
1321
01:20:08,304 --> 01:20:11,040
[ Chuckling ]
Why are you
bringing me in here?
1322
01:20:11,074 --> 01:20:13,442
Well, this being
our new house.
1323
01:20:13,476 --> 01:20:16,179
I thought I'd come up
with my own task for
the pledge board.
1324
01:20:16,212 --> 01:20:19,382
Mmm. Okay.
And what's that gonna be?
1325
01:20:19,415 --> 01:20:21,550
Uh.
[ Clears Throat ]
1326
01:20:21,584 --> 01:20:25,588
Well, I think it's kind
of better if I, uh--
if I show you.
1327
01:20:25,621 --> 01:20:27,957
[ Projector Whirring ]
1328
01:20:31,027 --> 01:20:34,530
Oh, sex in a movie theater.
1329
01:20:34,563 --> 01:20:37,266
I like the way you think,
Erik Stifler.
1330
01:20:37,300 --> 01:20:42,238
*Give me love
Give me love *
1331
01:20:42,271 --> 01:20:44,573
*And I'll bring it
back to you *
1332
01:20:44,607 --> 01:20:46,976
[ Moaning ]
1333
01:20:53,249 --> 01:20:55,618
I'm coming!
I'm coming!
1334
01:20:55,651 --> 01:20:58,154
I'm coming!
1335
01:20:58,187 --> 01:21:00,924
Oh! Oh, my--
1336
01:21:04,961 --> 01:21:06,562
Okay, I was a little
surprised by that.
1337
01:21:06,595 --> 01:21:09,966
I'm sorry.
1338
01:21:09,999 --> 01:21:11,867
It's okay. It's--
1339
01:21:13,202 --> 01:21:15,371
It's actually really sexy.
1340
01:21:15,404 --> 01:21:17,440
Really?
Yeah.
1341
01:21:17,473 --> 01:21:19,142
Can you do that every time?
1342
01:21:19,175 --> 01:21:22,245
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
1343
01:21:22,278 --> 01:21:25,148
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
1344
01:21:30,486 --> 01:21:33,056
*I was alone in this world
and I can't stop *
1345
01:21:33,089 --> 01:21:35,925
*Till I seen little mama
in a tank top *
Hey, buddy.
1346
01:21:35,959 --> 01:21:37,660
Take a little dip
in the pool?
Nope.
1347
01:21:37,693 --> 01:21:39,929
Oh, wait a minute.
1348
01:21:42,265 --> 01:21:45,268
Ah, yes. The elusive
female ejaculation.
1349
01:21:45,301 --> 01:21:47,603
[ Chuckling ]
Not a lot of girls
can do that. Congrats.
1350
01:21:47,636 --> 01:21:52,041
*I fell in love today
with a boy from
around my way *
1351
01:21:52,075 --> 01:21:56,179
*That's because
he looked like me *
1352
01:21:56,212 --> 01:22:00,583
*I fell in love today
with a boy from
around my way *
1353
01:22:00,616 --> 01:22:04,653
*That's because
he looked like me *
1354
01:22:04,687 --> 01:22:08,724
*I couldn't help myself
I felt like I was a queen *
1355
01:22:08,757 --> 01:22:10,693
*I used to sit around
at home alone *
1356
01:22:10,726 --> 01:22:13,562
Beta house fuckin' rules!
1357
01:22:20,336 --> 01:22:25,641
[ All Screaming ]
1358
01:22:25,674 --> 01:22:30,346
*I was so turned on
I could barely say *
1359
01:22:30,379 --> 01:22:33,382
*He said come on
and gave me a little wink *
1360
01:22:33,416 --> 01:22:38,187
*My brain unfroze
and I can only think *
1361
01:22:38,221 --> 01:22:42,225
*I fell in love today
with a boy from
around my way *
1362
01:22:42,258 --> 01:22:46,229
*That's because
he looked like me *
1363
01:22:46,262 --> 01:22:48,664
*I fell in love today
with a boy from
around my way *
1364
01:22:48,697 --> 01:22:52,001
[ Chanting ]
Beta, Beta, Beta, Beta.
1365
01:22:54,803 --> 01:22:56,772
*I can't lose your lovin'
1366
01:22:56,805 --> 01:22:58,707
*No, I can't lose your love
1367
01:22:58,741 --> 01:23:03,212
*I can't lose your lovin'
No way *
1368
01:23:03,246 --> 01:23:06,682
*I just got your lovin'
Oh, baby, baby *
1369
01:23:06,715 --> 01:23:10,753
*I can't lose your lovin'
No, no way *
1370
01:23:15,291 --> 01:23:17,993
[ Chuckling ]
Yes.
1371
01:23:19,762 --> 01:23:23,099
[ Toilet Flushing ]
1372
01:23:26,469 --> 01:23:29,438
Hey, big boy.
1373
01:23:29,472 --> 01:23:31,207
Ready to fill me up
with some more protein?
1374
01:23:33,809 --> 01:23:40,649
No, no, no, no!
1375
01:23:40,683 --> 01:23:44,220
Ah, yes. The Blackout Menace
strikes again.
1376
01:23:44,253 --> 01:23:47,090
*When I wake up mornin' yawning
I put up my hands *
1377
01:23:47,123 --> 01:23:50,093
*Thank the lord
for what I got and
never stop my plans *
1378
01:23:50,126 --> 01:23:52,795
*Givin' all for the cause
Gotta keep it up never
let my head drop *
1379
01:23:52,828 --> 01:23:55,698
*Make me a home all my own
Better make the bed rock *
1380
01:23:55,731 --> 01:23:59,135
*A place for the dog, a garage
a yard to play around *
1381
01:23:59,168 --> 01:24:02,105
*Kitchen for missus
she'll be fixin' them
biscuits golden brown *
1382
01:24:02,138 --> 01:24:05,208
*Got me a shorty
and some kids just
like a family should *
1383
01:24:05,241 --> 01:24:08,144
*Made a few changes
how I live and now
it's all good *
1384
01:24:08,177 --> 01:24:11,314
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1385
01:24:11,347 --> 01:24:14,283
*How you bounce back
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1386
01:24:14,317 --> 01:24:17,353
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1387
01:24:17,386 --> 01:24:20,123
*How you bounce back
How you bounce back *
1388
01:24:20,156 --> 01:24:23,126
*Super classic realistic homey
on the dope *
1389
01:24:23,159 --> 01:24:25,861
*If you close your eyes
and miss it ask me why
I wrote this *
1390
01:24:25,894 --> 01:24:28,831
*I've come so very far
and made this here my home *
1391
01:24:28,864 --> 01:24:31,634
*So if you're thinkin'
otherwise I guess you're
thinkin' wrong *
1392
01:24:31,667 --> 01:24:34,803
*All it takes is all I got
a little bit of try *
1393
01:24:34,837 --> 01:24:37,873
*And if you make my babies cry
I'll bust you in your eye *
1394
01:24:37,906 --> 01:24:40,709
*Gonna make it happen
ain't no way you can
tie me up *
1395
01:24:40,743 --> 01:24:44,347
*'Cause I hocus-pocus
keep it focused and you
know the steps what's up *
1396
01:24:44,380 --> 01:24:47,516
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1397
01:24:47,550 --> 01:24:50,486
*How you bounce back
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1398
01:24:50,519 --> 01:24:53,556
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1399
01:24:53,589 --> 01:24:56,159
*How you bounce back
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1400
01:24:56,192 --> 01:24:58,861
*Hey, what you say
Hop in let's roll *
1401
01:24:58,894 --> 01:25:02,298
*Buckle up around that
He low like that
ain't nobody gotta know *
1402
01:25:02,331 --> 01:25:04,833
*Swing the bat for mama
I know big boys
hit home runs *
1403
01:25:04,867 --> 01:25:08,404
*I don't discriminate
No hate, I've ran bases
with smaller ones *
1404
01:25:08,437 --> 01:25:10,639
*I know what I got
Kids that work
they be on the clock *
1405
01:25:10,673 --> 01:25:14,210
*'Cause they tick, tick
tick, ticktock go and make
the boys give good stock *
1406
01:25:14,243 --> 01:25:16,679
* [ Continues, Indistinct ]
1407
01:25:16,712 --> 01:25:20,149
*When we at the set
no strings attached
'cause I'm on the rebound *
1408
01:25:26,289 --> 01:25:29,425
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1409
01:25:29,458 --> 01:25:32,395
*Make your back bounce
Make your back bounce *
1410
01:25:32,428 --> 01:25:35,431
*You're on a rebound
Show 'em how you bounce back *
1411
01:25:35,464 --> 01:25:38,133
*Make your back bounce
Make your back bounce *
1412
01:25:39,435 --> 01:25:43,239
* [ Techno ]
1413
01:25:46,742 --> 01:25:49,845
*It was one of them nights
I had one of those things
about to go get my drink on *
1414
01:25:49,878 --> 01:25:52,381
*Knew I gotta get right
so I picked up my girls
in my truck *
1415
01:25:52,415 --> 01:25:54,883
*Cruisin' down the boulevard
1416
01:25:54,917 --> 01:25:56,952
*And then I pull up
to the club we hopped out
started walkin' *
1417
01:25:56,985 --> 01:25:59,522
*Pass the line
said we V.I.P. *
1418
01:25:59,555 --> 01:26:01,790
*Soon as we stepped in
chicks started talkin' *
*And then I said
1419
01:26:01,824 --> 01:26:05,328
*Anytime you want me, baby
There's the front door *
1420
01:26:05,361 --> 01:26:09,265
*We could do it one on one
or you could get your people *
1421
01:26:09,298 --> 01:26:12,768
*We could get the crowd hyper
We could put on a show *
1422
01:26:12,801 --> 01:26:16,772
*I said
You don't really want me
and I already know *
1423
01:26:16,805 --> 01:26:18,774
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1424
01:26:18,807 --> 01:26:20,776
*Outside
*It's a different story
1425
01:26:20,809 --> 01:26:22,511
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1426
01:26:22,545 --> 01:26:24,413
*Outside
*You ain't got nothin' for me
1427
01:26:24,447 --> 01:26:26,615
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1428
01:26:26,649 --> 01:26:28,451
*Outside
*It's a different story
1429
01:26:28,484 --> 01:26:30,486
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1430
01:26:30,519 --> 01:26:32,488
*Outside
*You ain't got nothin' for me
1431
01:26:32,521 --> 01:26:34,323
*Gettin' more time
than insomniacs *
1432
01:26:34,357 --> 01:26:35,824
*It's a good thing
to rest of the cardiacs *
1433
01:26:35,858 --> 01:26:37,760
*Are trying to have
a good time with the partiac *
1434
01:26:37,793 --> 01:26:39,562
*Why the drummer gotta start
when they call the acts *
1435
01:26:39,595 --> 01:26:41,764
*And as I step in
put their bets in *
1436
01:26:41,797 --> 01:26:43,766
*They brace their weapons
'cause they feel threatened *
1437
01:26:43,799 --> 01:26:45,734
*Try to tell them they
don't wanna step outside *
1438
01:26:45,768 --> 01:26:47,803
*Have the kid put it under
*And then I said
1439
01:26:47,836 --> 01:26:50,939
*Anytime you want me, baby
There's the front door *
1440
01:26:50,973 --> 01:26:54,877
*We could do it one on one
or you could get your people *
1441
01:26:54,910 --> 01:26:58,581
*We could get the crowd hyper
We could put on a show *
1442
01:26:58,614 --> 01:27:02,585
*I said
You don't really want me
and I already know *
1443
01:27:02,618 --> 01:27:04,587
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1444
01:27:04,620 --> 01:27:06,589
*Outside
*It's a different story
1445
01:27:06,622 --> 01:27:08,524
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1446
01:27:08,557 --> 01:27:10,393
*Outside
*You ain't got nothin' for me
1447
01:27:10,426 --> 01:27:12,395
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1448
01:27:12,428 --> 01:27:14,263
*Outside
*It's a different story
1449
01:27:14,297 --> 01:27:16,299
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1450
01:27:16,332 --> 01:27:17,900
*Outside
*You ain't got nothin' for me
1451
01:27:17,933 --> 01:27:19,668
*Gotta be a issue
Gotta be a problem *
1452
01:27:19,702 --> 01:27:21,804
*Just 'cause a chick got
more soul than Harlem *
1453
01:27:21,837 --> 01:27:23,739
* [ Continues, Indistinct ]
1454
01:27:23,772 --> 01:27:25,674
*I got chicks don't
get in their way *
1455
01:27:25,708 --> 01:27:27,443
*If you really wanted
you could get it done *
1456
01:27:27,476 --> 01:27:29,445
*But don't forget
I'm the premium *
1457
01:27:29,478 --> 01:27:31,447
*Don't let your mouth write up
a check you can't cash *
1458
01:27:31,480 --> 01:27:33,316
*You could get bounced
for talkin' trash *
*And I said
1459
01:27:33,349 --> 01:27:36,652
*Anytime you want me, baby
There's the front door *
1460
01:27:36,685 --> 01:27:40,656
*We could do it one on one
or you could get your people *
1461
01:27:40,689 --> 01:27:44,360
*We could get the crowd hyper
We could put on a show *
1462
01:27:44,393 --> 01:27:48,364
*I said
You don't really want me
and I already know *
1463
01:27:48,397 --> 01:27:50,366
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1464
01:27:50,399 --> 01:27:51,934
*Outside
*It's a different story
1465
01:27:51,967 --> 01:27:53,869
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1466
01:27:53,902 --> 01:27:55,771
*Outside
*You ain't got nothin' for me
1467
01:27:55,804 --> 01:27:57,773
*Inside
* [ Indistinct ]
1468
01:27:57,806 --> 01:27:59,842
*Outside
*It's a different story
1469
01:27:59,875 --> 01:28:01,810
*Inside
*You keep on
running your mouth *
1470
01:28:01,844 --> 01:28:03,746
*Outside
*You ain't got
nothin' for me *
1471
01:28:40,716 --> 01:28:43,352
* [ Techno ]
1472
01:28:47,423 --> 01:28:50,893
[ Inhales ]
1473
01:28:50,926 --> 01:28:53,028
Wear this for your
next dance, honey.
1474
01:28:53,061 --> 01:28:55,931
Thanks. Baa.
114375