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Today is a new season of
Toronto's Lo-Pro Slo Pitch League.
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Couldn't be more excited for my
team.
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I'm Joanne, I've been coaching
the Public Lass Brovaries for the last five years.
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And we're looking so sharp out
there with our new uniforms designed by yours truly.
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I did this.
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Took a little design in
university.
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What is this?
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[Joanne] And we have been
working hard, that's right.
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Championships are won at
practise.
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And this year, we're gonna go
all the way.
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["Play the Field" by Partner]
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Today we're playing our fiercest
rivals, the Toronto Blue Gays. [Spits]
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[Joanne] Yeah, Toronto Blue
Gays. I don't like to, pardon my
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le shit, but Toronto Blue Gays
are public enemy numero uno, yeah.
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A lot of bad blood. We do not
get along. We're like oil and water.
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Brovaries, Blue Gays, not
friends!
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They've won four back to back
titles so, this year...
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We're gonna get 'em.
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[Zari] Come on Brovaries, bring
it home! [Team cheers on Ann from the
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Come on little orphan Annie!
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Strike out again, I'm gonna
have to change the wifi password!
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[Ann] Uh, my name is Ann, I play
second base.
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Uh, Joanne has been my landlord
for three years now.
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Uh, the rent's really good. Like
really good.
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So there's kind of an unspoken
agreement between us that if I play on the team...
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You gave her the wifi password?
Our data overages were insane last month.
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Yeah, I think Ann might have a
Fork Nite porn addiction.
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Joanne and I got the house after
I made partner at Lagari-Shapton.
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Majority shareholder before the
age of 35. Not bragging, just grateful.
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Anyway, spearheading the mergers
of multi-million dollar corporations takes up a
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And Joanne is so dedicated to
this sport, so just thought I'd join the
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spend some quality summer
Sundays with my love.
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[Joanne] Keep looking for those
balls, batter. [Zari] Next one, next one.
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I know what you're thinking.
We have to cut Sasha from the team.
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What?
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I can't cut her off, she's my
fiance.
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No, you shouldn't.
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But I think it's what everyone
wants.
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Do they?
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I was thinking maybe that you
could do it?
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Just cause, everyone respects
you. Something to think about!
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[Mel] I used to play for the
National Pro Fast Pitch League.
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But I moved back to Toronto
after I got booted from the league for...
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I'm not allowed to talk about
that. Fucking umpires man.
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But I am here.
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I wanna die.
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I'm trying to stay positive
though.
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I'm working on developing a new
remote control
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airless field striping machine.
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And uh, I plan on being fucked
up for the whole season.
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Wow. Okay. Yup. Yup.
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- What app you using?
- Tinder, FindAWife, J-Date, D-Date, Lady-Boy, Datey-Date.
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A little bit of Hinge.
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Hi, hello, my name is Boris.
I am um, what you call?
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Looking for a wife this summer.
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So that I don't get deported
back to Dinkelsbuhl.
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Nobody too young though.
Not like, like Lee the rookie.
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- You will know her by her cool
pants. - Cool pants.
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- Thanks.
- She's a teen, and well, Boris is not a teen.
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So there cannot be any
hanky-pankys there. Like verbotten love.
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You know like Jude Law and the
nannies.
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I'm aware that I have an effect
on people born before the year 2000.
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Not that the nanny was too
young, just that
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the nanny, you know you
cannot... You cannot be having sex with
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- Cool pants.
- Thanks.
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- There's actually a chapter in
my PhD thesis- - Oh man. Love a PhD.
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Okay I'm assuming there's some
sort of acronym that I'm missing here?
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[Ann and Boris] Pretty Huge
Dyke!
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I'm the token straight girl on
the team.
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So, you get the picture.
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[Team cheers on Joanne]
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Sliding into first base, sliding
into first place.
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Let's go Brovaries! Yeah!
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[Beck] New jerseys?
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Yeah. Designed them myself. No
expense spared.
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Why does it say Pubic Ass on the
back of them?
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No it says Public Lass, the bar?
Our sponsor.
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Hey Eva, what's this look like
to you?
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[Eva]
Turn.
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Pubic Ass.
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- What?
- [Beck] Parker?
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Pubic Ass!
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Okay. Okay. Lemme ask my team
alright,
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Ann read it out, what do you
see?
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Yeah it's Pubic Ass Joanne.
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Baby, baby yeah it looks like
Pubic Ass. [Joanne] Fuck.
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[Team cheers half-heartedly.]
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Well another crushing victory
for the Brovaries.
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Crushing defeat. I meant to say.
Defeat.
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It's gonna be a great season!
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Hello, yes, I'd like to speak to
a manager
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about an accidental profanity
that was printed on a set of jerseys I ordered?
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Pubic Ass.
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Yes, I'll hold.
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["Play the Field" by Partner]
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Hey Joanne I think I see what
the problem is.
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No, no, no problem.
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Did it on purpose.
This is how I meant it to be. Pubic Asses.
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- The Brovaries.
- So it's joke, not a mistake?
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- Yeah, shut up Boris.
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- Okay.
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