All language subtitles for Loki.S01E02.The.Variant.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.Atmos.H.264-EVO-HI.v2

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On behalf
of the Time Variance Authority,

I hereby arrest you
for crimes against the Sacred Timeline.

Long ago, the all-knowing
Time-Keepers emerged,

creating and organizing
the Sacred Timeline.

Sometimes, people like you
veer off the path.

We call those Variants.

Laufeyson, how do you plead?

- I'm Agent Mobius, by the way.
- How long have you been here?

I don't know. It's hard to say,
time passes differently here in the TVA.

Now, you parade about

as if you're the divine arbiters
of power in the universe.

Infinity Stones?

Some of the guys
use 'em as paperweights.

Is this the greatest power
in the universe?

- I can't go back, can I?
- I can't offer you salvation,

but maybe I can offer
you something better.

A fugitive Variant's been killing
our Minutemen.

And you need the God of Mischief
to help you stop him?

Why me?

The Variant we're hunting is...

You.

Make a wish.

Hi! What's going on?

You guys aren't dressed right.

I... So...

Variant detected, Commander.

Let's move.

Some of us need this, you know.

No nexus energy yet, ma'am.

It's a trap.
Watch your backs!

My lords, my ladies, welcome

and thank you for joining us,
here at the castle.

Please, settle into your seats
for a great battle is about to commence.

The prize? Our princess.

Will evil prevail,
or are we holding out for a hero?

Commander?

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the Gods?

Where's the streetwise
Hercules to fight...

What are you doing?

Having some fun.

Isn't there a white knight
Upon a fiery steed?

Late at night, I toss and I turn
And I dream of what I need

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero
Till the end of the night

He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero
'Till the morning light

He's gotta be sure and it's gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life

I need a hero!

Okay, y'all,
let's review what we've learned.

What happens when a nexus event
branches past red line?

Very bad things.

Come on, Loki. What is it?

It's when the TVA can
no longer reset a nexus event.

Okay? Boring.

Right. And that would lead
to the destruction of the timeline

and the collapse of reality as we know it.

Can you hear me?

Are you a recording? Or are you alive?

Uh, sorta both.

Ah.

Watch it! Where's your manners?

Oh! Hey! Quit it!

That is not nice. Jerk.

- You can't hide...
- Training goin' well?

- Yeah.
- Is that my jet ski magazine?

Put it down. Gear up.

There's been an attack. Let's go.

Put it on.

Good. Yeah. Smart.

C-20 and her team went dark

shortly after they jumped
into the 1985 branch.

All signs point to another ambush.

We've grabbed enough temporal aura
to know it's our Loki Variant.

But which kind of Loki, remains unknown.

They're the lesser kind, to be clear.

Let me see
the back of that jacket.

Hmm.

Very subtle. Well done.

I don't want anybody out there
to forget what you are.

Oh, your only hope
of capturing a murderer?

No. A cosmic mistake.

- That's enough.
- Lovely.

Here's the deal.

When we get out on the branch,

we're not just
looking for a Time Criminal.

We're looking for a Loki.

A variation of this guy.

A type we should
all be very familiar with,

because the TVA
has pruned a lotta these guys,

almost more than any other Variant.

And no two are alike.

Slight differences in appearances,
or not so slight.

Different powers, although,
powers, generally include

shape-shifting,
illusion-projection, and my favorite...

Duplication-casting.

Illusion-projection.

No, they're two
completely different powers.

How?

Illusion-projection involves depicting
a detailed image from outside oneself,

which is perceptible
in the external world,

whereas duplication-casting
entails recreating

an exact facsimile of one's own body
in its present circumstance,

which acts as a true holographic mirror
of its molecular structure.

But you already knew that.

Okay, take a breath. Noted.

We're gonna break into two teams,
including myself and Professor Loki.

Why?

Because whoever this Variant is,
we haven't been able to find him.

So let's bring in an expert.

That's me.

- Do I get a weapon?
- Nah.

Well, I'll have my magic back.
Is no one concerned about that?

- Of what?
- Me betraying you.

- No.
- Why not?

You know that we can catch you.

And how's betraying us gonna get you
any closer to the Time-Keepers?

An audience
with the Time-Keepers is on the table?

Keep that focus.

Apex of nexus signature located, ma'am.

Let me ask you this,

why don't we just travel
back to before the attack,

when the Variant first arrives?

Nexus events destabilize the time flow.

This branch is still changing and growing,
so you gotta show up in real time.

Did you watch any of the training videos
you were supposed to?

Well, as many as I could stand.

Your TVA propaganda is exhausting.

And what do these do?

Reset charges prune the affected
radius of a branched timeline,

allowing time to heal all its wounds.

Which sounds like a nice way

of saying disintegrate
everything in its vicinity.

He's on it.

I watched the videos.

I mean, some of them.

So he's taking hostages now?

The Variant's never
taken a hostage before.

Maybe he's upping his game.

Or he pruned her.

A Loki couldn't
have gotten the jump on C-20.

I think you underestimate, actually...

Fan out and search for her.

And hurry up,

we're at three units until red line.

- Let's go. She's right.
- Come on.

Wait...

If you leave this tent,
you'll end up like them.

What do you see?

I see a scheme,

and in that scheme, I see myself.

We have a saying in Asgard,

"Where there are wolf's ears,
wolf's teeth are near."

It means to be aware of your surroundings.

Which is absurd, because my people are,
by nature, gullible fools.

A trait that I, the God of Mischief,

exploited time and time again
simply by listening.

My teeth were sharp,
but my ears even sharper.

We're running out of time, Mobius.

Hold it. Just give him a chance.

You remind me of them.

The Time Variance Authority
and the gods of Asgard, one and the same.

Drunk with power, blinded to the truth.

Those you underestimate will devour you.

You underestimate me,

just as you
underestimate this lesser Loki.

Which is why, you walk into
one wolf's mouth after another.

Two units. He is wasting our time.

Okay. Come on, Loki,
make a long story short.

We need to look for C-20.

That's exactly what
the Variant wants you to do.

It's a trap.
He's waiting for you outside this tent.

Should I secure the reset charges?

No. He wants me. I'm the key to his plan.

- He knows that I'm stronger.
- Almost one unit.

And he rightly believes that together
we can overthrow and rule the TVA.

But that's not what I want.
I have a new purpose.

I'm a servant of the Sacred Timeline.

And knowing
what I now know about his tactics,

I can deliver you the Variant,

but I need assurances.

Yeah?

Assurances that I won't be
completely disintegrated

the moment the job has been done.

Right...

We'll need to speak
to the Time-Keepers at once.

They're in graver danger than we realized.

He's lying. Just playing games.

There's no one out there.

Reset the timeline.

You had me for a second.

My ears are sharp too.

Is it just me, or does this office
keep getting better and better?

Where'd you get that one, the snow globe?

I love those.

I don't remember bringing back that case.

You're not the only analyst
working for me.

But, would you say,
maybe, I'm your favorite one?

And why do you get to keep all
the trophies from my cases in here?

You don't think I'd love
having that roller skate

there sprucing up my cubicle?

Because I approve the missions.

Good point.

Speaking of which,
let's talk about the one you just botched.

You might need this for our discussion.

I hope it's a double.

This Variant is...
"Insubordinate, stubborn, unpredictable."

Sounds like someone else I know.

I was just thinking
it sounds like someone I know.

- Mobius?
- What?

Those rings were already there.

And they're all from you.

Maybe it's from
your other favorite analyst.

Listen, Ravonna, I'm sorry.

I realize that my, you know,

methods with this Loki
are controversial, but...

Towing a dangerous Variant
into the field is controversial.

Yeah, it didn't go exactly
the way I wanted it to today,

but here's what we did find out.

The Variant likes to stall for time,

and, eventually, we'll catch
the other one doing the same thing.

Because understanding
this Loki helps me get closer

to the one we're chasing. Right?

Look, I know you have
a soft spot for broken things.

- I don't think so.
- Yes, you do.

But Loki is an evil, lying scourge.

That is the part he plays
on the Sacred Timeline.

Maybe he wants to mix it up.

Sometimes you get tired
of playing the same part.

Is that possible? He can change?

Not unless the Time-Keepers decree it.

And then, it shall be so.

And how are the old Time-Keepers?

How do you think?

I don't know.
'Cause I've never met 'em.

Thankfully. Although,
I shouldn't say that.

That one looks...

The Time-Keepers are monitoring
every aspect of this case.

I've never seen them so involved.

They want that Variant caught.

So do I.

And this is the last chance
you're gonna get with this Loki.

Great. That's all I'm gonna need.

Thank you, R Slayer.

I don't remember this.

This must be from that analyst
you keep on the side.

Stay focused.

Eyes on the road.

Mobius?

I was almost gone.

You really believe in this Variant?

Mmm... Luckily, he believes in himself
enough for the both of us.

And, hey, if it doesn't work,
I'll delete him myself.

He's really arrogant.

You're probably wondering
what happened out on the mission.

That was your first lesson
in catching a Loki.

Expect the expected.

Half the fun of being a trickster

is knowing everyone knows
you're a trickster, and then,

many of your tricks
can come from exploiting

- the fact that you know that they know...
- Okay. Just shut up!

Please. What happened
to the guy I met on the elevator?

Who didn't like to talk. Remember him?

Now I'm stuck with this guy

who won't stop yacking away
about what makes a Loki tick!

What? Isn't that precisely why I'm here?

No. I don't care what makes you tick.

You're here to help me catch
the superior version of yourself.

- That's it!
- Hang on.

I'm not sure "superior"
is actually quite the right word.

See? There it is. Right there.

I believed, stupidly,

that insecure need for validation
would motivate you to find the killer.

Not 'cause you care about
the TVA mission or bein' a hero,

but because you know this Variant
is better than you and you can't take it.

Very nice.

I mean, it is adorable that you think
you could possibly manipulate me.

I'm ten steps ahead of you.

I've been playing a game
of my own all along.

What, charm your way
in front of the Time-Keepers,

hustle them, and seize control of the TVA?

Am I getting warm?

A double cross
by history's most reliable liar.

Okay. Why are you in there
sticking your neck out for me?

I'll give you two options,

and you can believe
whichever one you want.

A, because I see a scared
little boy, shivering in the cold.

And you kinda feel bad for that ice runt.

Or B, I just wanna catch this guy,

and I'll tell you whatever
I need to tell you.

I don't need your sympathy.

Good, 'cause I'm runnin' out of it.

What's this?
Next step of your manipulation...

This is the final step.
Your last chance.

Oh, and what does my desperate
last chance require?

Work.

Work?

I need you to go over each
and every one of the Variant's case files,

and then, give me your... How do I put it?

Your unique Loki perspective.

And who knows?
Maybe there's something that we missed.

Well, you're idiots.
I suspect you probably missed a lot.

That's why I'm lucky
I got ya for a little bit longer.

Let me park ya at this desk.

And don't be afraid
to really lean into this work.

Here's a good trick for you.

Pretend your life depends on it.

I'm gonna get a snack.

Oh, my goodness.

Don't tell me the Variant ambushed
and killed another team of Minutemen.

And stole
their reset charge as well.

Shh.

Shh.

Hi.

Hello?

Can I help you?

Yes. I'm on some important TVA business.

Follow-up to a field mission.
You know how it goes.

We red lined near the apex, and...

Well, it's never good.

Um, I'd like all files pertaining
to the creation of the TVA, please.

Those are classified.

Okay. I'd like all files pertaining
to the beginning of time then.

- Those are classified.
- Okay, the end of time.

- Those are classified.
- Okay, what files can I have?

Happy reading.

I found something.

No, I said, "Don't bother me
until you've read all the files."

- I have.
- Every file?

- Yes.
- Pertaining to the Variant?

The answer isn't in the files,
it's on the timeline.

He's hiding in apocalypses.

Which apocalypse?

Any time in history?
There's, like, a million of 'em.

Ragnarok. Are you familiar?

Yes. The destruction of Asgard
and most of its people. I'm sorry.

Yes, very sad.

Anyway, it got me thinking...

Go ahead.

Nexus events

happen when someone does something
they're not supposed to do, right?

Well, it's a little more
complicated, but, yeah.

Great. And then that thing
they're not supposed to do,

cascades into a whole range of other
things that aren't supposed to happen.

And so on and so forth, until eventually,
a new timeline branches. Yes?

Chaotic alterations
of a predetermined outcome.

- Exactly. So, let's just say...
- Mmm-hmm. What are you doing?

...your salad is Asgard in this scenario.

- It's not Asgard, that's my lunch.
- It's a metaphor.

- Just hang in there.
- I want that salad.

And I could go down to Asgard

before Ragnarok
causes its complete destruction

and I could do anything I wanted.

I could, let's say,
push the Hulk off the Rainbow Bridge.

- There he goes.
- The salt's Hulk?

And I could also...
Set fire to the palace.

No, just stop.
Don't set fire to the palace.

Okay? I can do whatever I want to do,
and it would never matter.

It wouldn't go against the dictates
of the timeline because...

- Excuse me?
- Oh, God!

- You!
- Nice to see you.

I just need this for a second. Thanks.

Because the apocalypse is coming.

Ragnarok, Surtur will destroy
Asgard no matter what I do.

No, don't do...

- There's the apocalypse.
- That's the apocalypse?

Ragnarok obliterates the salt.

Ragnarok.

There it is.

What am I lookin' at?

Okay, it was a clumsy metaphor.
But you see what I mean.

It doesn't matter.
It could be any apocalypse.

It could be a tidal wave.
It could be a meteor.

It could be a volcano, a supernova.

If everything and everyone around you
is destined for imminent destruction,

then nothing that I say or do will matter,

because the timeline's not gonna branch.

'Cause it gets destroyed.

Hence, the Variant could be
hiding in the apocalypse

and do whatever he wants,
and we wouldn't know!

Not bad.

Take me to a real apocalypse,
to Ragnarok, I'll show you.

Yeah. So you can run away
back to your homeland? No.

No, I'm not going home.
We can go anywhere.

I'm not taking you for a stroll along
the promenade, much less an apocalypse.

Oh, Mobius, come on!

What could possibly go wrong?

We gotta properly test this theory.

Well, here's a fun theory.

You lure me out into the field,
and stab me in the back.

And that's a theory I don't wanna test.

I'd never stab anyone in the back.

That's such a boring form of betrayal.

Loki, I've studied almost
every moment of your entire life.

You've literally stabbed
people in the back, like, 50 times.

Well, I'd never do it again,
because it got old.

Okay.

Okay, look, you don't trust me,
you can trust one thing.

I love to be right.

- Here we go.
- Shh, any minute now.

Until this entire town
is wiped off the face of this planet.

Imagine. All that volcanic ash...

I know. We don't want to get too giddy.

Oh, come on! It's cool.

No, it is cool, but it's just
not in good taste because...

They're all gonna die anyway.

I know. Now listen, I'm gonna watch
the TemPad for any variance energy.

- Okay.
- Okay, because we gotta be careful.

If you're wrong,
and there's a good chance you are,

anything we do can create a huge branch.

Oh, Mobius! You make even
the end of the world sound boring.

Listen! Okay, we're not meant to be here.

- Okay?
- Okay.

Anything we do can impact
the course of history.

- Do you get that?
- Yes. Yes.

So we're gonna start
with very small disturbances.

- Very small.
- Can you make bird noises?

Bird noises?

Yeah. Bird noises.
Like some, like, whooshing noises.

Oh.

Loki! Loki!

Go!

Be free, my horned-friends, be free!

We are
from the future, right?

What is the TVA?
I mean, it's from the future.

It sounds from the future.
It's pretty future-y.

Right on cue!

Enjoy your last meal while you can!

Nothing matters!

Nothing has any consequence!

Dance while you still can!

Whoo-hoo!

How'd we do?

I don't believe it. Zero variance energy.

No branching in the timeline.

The TVA would never
even know we were here.

If it were me, this is where I would hide.

Doomsdays. The Variant's been
ambushing our soldiers

and hiding out in doomsdays
to cover his tracks.

- You're welcome.
- Yeah.

For this theory to hold,
the disasters have to be

naturally-occurring,
sudden, no warning, no survivors.

- How many could there be?
- I don't know.

We're gonna find out.

Hey?

Come on, let's take a walk.

By the way, at your desk, that magazine?

Yeah. The one on jet skis?

Yes.

Why do you have that?

Because they're awesome.

- I suppose they are.
- Yeah.

You know, some things... Actually,
most things in history are kinda dumb,

and everything gets ruined eventually.

But in the early 1990s,
for a brief, shining moment,

there was a beautiful union
of form and function,

which we call the jet ski,

and a reasonable man cannot differ.

You ever been on one?

No... No.

I think a TVA agent showing up
on a jet ski on the Sacred Timeline,

that would create a branch for sure.

It'd be fun, though.

Yeah, it'd be really fun.

So, why read about them?

Just helps remind me
of what we're fighting for.

I mean, you really believe
in all this stuff, don't you?

I don't get hung up on,
"Believe, not believe."

I just accept what is.

- Three magic lizards...
- Time-Keepers.

- ...created the TVA, and everyone in it...
- Right.

- ...including you?
- Including me.

Every time I start
to admire your intelligence,

- you say something like that.
- Okay, who created you, Loki?

A Frost Giant of Jotunheim.

And who raised you?

Odin of Asgard.

Odin, God of the Heavens.

Asgard, mystical realm, beyond the stars.

- Frost Giants. Listen to yourself...
- It's not the same.

- It's completely different.
- No.

- It's not the same.
- It's exactly the same thing.

Because if you think too hard
about where any of us came from,

who we truly are,
it sounds kinda ridiculous.

Existence is chaos.

Nothing makes any sense,
so we try to make some sense of it.

And I'm just lucky that the chaos
I emerged into gave me all this...

My own glorious purpose.

'Cause the TVA is my life.

And it's real because I believe it's real.

Fair enough. You believe it's real.

Yeah.

So everything is written.

Past, present, future.

There's no such thing as free will.

Well, I mean, you know,
it's an oversimplification...

So, in fact, in a way,

you and I here at the TVA,
we're the only ones who are actually free.

Where are you going with this, Loki?

How does it all end?

That's a work in progress.

Oh, those lazy Time-Keepers.
What are they waiting for?

Au contraire.

No. Because while we protect
what came before,

they're toiling away in their chamber,

untangling the epilogue
from its infinite branches.

Ah, I see. So, when they're finished,
what happens then?

So are we.

No more nexus events.

Just order.

And we meet in peace at the end of time.

Nice, right?

- Only order?
- Mmm-hmm.

No chaos? It sounds boring.

I'm sure it does to you.

You called me a scared little boy.

I called you a lotta things.

You did.

You're wrong, though.

You see, I know something children don't.

What's that?

That no one bad is ever truly bad.

And no one good is ever truly good.

Scared little boy.

Yes, it was quite patronizing.
I thought it was a bit too far, actually.

You're very clever.

I know.

The Variant left something
behind at an old crime scene.

A cathedral. A candy box.

An obvious anachronism.

I gave it to Analysis,
but they couldn't find anything real.

- Why does that matter?
- 'Cause now we have two variables.

Apocalyptic natural disasters and...

- Kablooie.
- What's that?

Candy. Do you have candy on Asgard?

Yeah. Grapes, nuts.

No wonder you're so bitter.

Okay. Kablooie was only sold
regionally on Earth from 2047 to 2051.

We need to cross-reference
that with every apocalyptic event.

I'm gonna give you half.

Have a competition, see who finds it.

- Sure.
- You wanna bet something?

- Yeah.
- Gentleman's bet.

Yeah, let's play for pride.
Okay. May the best man win. Go.

- Anything?
- Uh...

It's not the climate disaster of 2048.

Or the tsunami of 2051.

Let's go. Let's go. Come on.

2050.

The extinction of the swallow...
Is that a thing?

Completely screwed up the ecosystem.

Krakatoa erupted in 2049 as well.

No Kablooie.

God, it's just one damn thing
after another, isn't it?

- Cyclone, famine, volcanoes, floods...
- Got him.

- That's where he is.
- Alabama, 2050.

You're gonna take my job
if I'm not careful.

You want me to approve deployment
of a fully-armed task force to...

- Yeah.
- ...the Variant's potential hiding spot?

Haven Hills, Alabama,
corporate town

owned by Roxxcart until
it's wiped out by a hurricane.

All the food and supplies you need.

If he likes it, there's no reason

he can't keep going back
and just camping out, over and over.

And this is all based
on a theory from the Variant

- who just blew your previous mission?
- Yeah, he's doing great.

Mobius, as your friend,

I have to tell you that trusting
this man is not a good idea.

No. I know.
But maybe he's worth the trouble.

He just uncovered
a huge hole in our security.

That's what concerns me!

I can handle him. Trust me.

This is where we get our guy.

You, I trust, but him.

Listen, Ravonna,
every instinct is telling me

this is where we nail the Variant.

Come on. You don't see me
usually this worked up, right?

I'm excited.

I'm chomping at the bit.

- Okay.
- Yes. Okay.

- But, Mobius?
- Yeah?

There's not much I can do
if it doesn't work out.

For all time.

Always.

Okay.

We're on.

We are doing some good work today.

I thought so too.

I'm tellin' you.
You actually help us catch this Variant,

and who knows, my friend.

What, good enough for a face-to-face
with the Time-Keepers?

I didn't say that.

- One step at a time.
- All right. One step at a time.

- Just in case.
- Yeah, don't those feel...

Absolutely not.

Gather around for a briefing.

Roxxcart is a vast superstore
common to the era.

It consists of a series
of sprawling sections,

including a large warehouse.

This warehouse is being used by civilians
as a shelter tryin' to ride out the storm.

Remember, this is a class ten apocalypse.

While the Variant
shouldn't know we're coming,

he could be hiding anywhere
and should be considered hostile.

So stay alert.

Every time there is an attack,
the Variant steals a reset charge.

He's planning something.

We just don't know what.

So keep an eye out
for the missing charges,

and if you see a Loki, prune it.

The bad Loki, preferably.

Anything?

Nothing yet. Move out!

The hell was that?

That was me using magic to dry my clothes.

So I don't announce myself with every
squeaky footstep like the rest of you.

Take both teams
and sweep the storm shelter.

- Yes, ma'am.
- Loki and I are gonna

check out the Green House. We'll meet...

- No.
- No?

You go with D-90. He stays with me.

What are you...
He's under my supervision.

This is my field op, Mobius.

- If he's not a threat, then...
- Of course he's a threat.

- Remember the Time Theater?
- Mobius...

- I want him with me.
- You are welcome to go back

to the TVA and litigate
with Renslayer, but right now...

We're here. We're not going back.

- The Variant is here.
- Mobius, it's fine. It's fine.

You can trust me.

I understand
I have to earn that, so, I will.

Why is it the people you can't trust
are always saying, "Trust me"?

Okay, try to hang on
to your Time Collar this time.

We'll see you in the showroom.

I am glad we're getting
to spend this time together.

Quiet.

- I'm saying we got off on the wrong...
- Shh.

Hey!

Whoa, whoa. It's okay. It's okay.

What are you doing?

Shopping for plants.

In this storm?

It's a hurricane sale.

Azaleas are half off.

Could that be you?

I mean, I probably would have
worn a suit, but, yes, maybe.

Is he dead?

No. They usually survive.

So, you're the fool
the TVA brought in to hunt me down.

Me, I presume.

Please. If anyone's anyone, you're me.

How nice to meet you.

For the past hour
we have seen winds intensifying.

Again, if you're just tuning in...

Check the bags
for the reset charges.

You guys FEMA?

National Guard?

Could be any one of them.

Well, hey, if you got
a 'copter or other transport,

now is the time to use it.

We got women and kids,
and that weather ain't playin'.

No, I'm sorry. We don't.

Well, how the heck did you get here?

What are you doing?

Hey! These people are scared.

They're about to die.
They should be scared.

Okay. Not of us.

- Sir!
- Take it easy.

What is it?

It's real. It's real. It's real.

It's real. It's real. It's real.

Enchantment is a clever trick.

Cowardly, a bit amateur-ish, but clever.

Almost as cowardly as working for the TVA.

I'm working for me.

You really believe that,
don't you?

Yeah.

And here I was worried
that they'd found a better version of me.

Hi, are you guys looking
for the disaster shelter?

No.

Oh, bless.

Are you going to call your little friends
for help?

What's the matter?

You too scared to meet me face-to-face?

Show yourself.

You know, gaining their confidence
was no mean feat.

Oh, my God.

You went undercover.

If you could possibly sheathe
your smarm for a moment,

I have an offer for you.
That's why I found you.

Go on.

I'm going to overthrow the Time-Keepers.

And, uh, cards on the table,

I could use a qualified lieutenant.

And I assume you mean... Me?

What say you...

Loki?

Ugh. Don't call me that.

You can call me...

Randy.

God. Now I understand
why Thor found this so annoying.

Enough with your games.
I've been trying to help you.

I kept them vulnerable
at the Renaissance Fair for some time.

Oh, gosh,
and that was just so nice of you.

But after eight to ten seconds
of consideration,

the answer is no.

I'm not interested in ruling
the Time Variance Authority.

It's real. It's real.

It was real. It was real.

- What's real? What's...
- It's real.

- She's off the dial.
- It's real.

- Look at me.
- It's real.

I wanna go home.

We're gonna get you there.

Call the TVA, let the infirmary know...

No, no, no. I gave it away.

- I gave it away.
- What did you give away...

The Time-Keepers, where they are.

I gave it away how to find them.

B-15, what is your status?

B-15, come in. What's your status?

B-15, do you copy?

If you don't wanna rule the TVA,
then what do you want?

It doesn't matter. You're too late.

I think you'll find
I'm well ahead of schedule.

I found your hiding place like that.

I'd say that makes me
the superior Loki, wouldn't you?

I see. That's your plan.

Lure us all here
so you can blow the place up.

I miss Randy.

Thank you for helping me stall for time.

You really do love to hear yourself talk.

You're the first person
to tell me that.

I would never treat me like this.

Hi.

Oh, come on. Stop hiding.

Loki, if you had any honor
you'd fight me as yourself.

I have shit to do.

Enough!

- Mobius.
- Where is he?

- I lost him.
- What happened?

I...

Looks like your favorite
Loki betrayed you.

Just move!

What do you want from me?

What is this about?

Brace yourself, Loki.

What do you want from me?

What do you want from me?

What do you want from me?

What is this about?

What do you want from me?

What is this about?

What do you want from me?

What do you want from me?

What is this about?

What is this about?

This isn't about you.

Right.

Where they going?

That's not possible.

This is Analyst 1182-E,
uh, reporting a code, uh, 000.

Branches rapidly forming at a slope...

Somebody just bombed the Sacred Timeline.

Loki!

Loki, wait!

Wait! Loki, wait!

No! Wait, Loki!

Damn it!

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull