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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:03,360 Yo! Spencer Wright here. 2 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:06,840 -And Billy Joe Cobra. -He's an invisible ghost. 3 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:09,760 How is it that only my homebods and I can see him? 4 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:11,960 We've each got some of Billy Joe's gear. 5 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,080 Yee-haw! 6 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:17,880 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 7 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,000 SPENCER: Dude, that's my ghost! 8 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,680 SPENCER: Okay, check it out. First, a trapdoor opens in the floor, 9 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,360 a coffin appears on stage in a plume of smoke. 10 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:43,280 Then the coffin opens, right? I'm inside, but, I'm headless! 11 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,000 (SCREAMS) 12 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,640 -I'm not scared. Keep going, Spence. -Then my head appears. 13 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:55,080 Ha! Looks like Spencer Wrong's doing another one of his kiddie magic shows. 14 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:58,560 It's not a magic show, toolbox. It's for the talent contest. 15 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:01,360 I'm gonna blow everyone away, including you! 16 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:08,520 -My special effects will be totally sick! -Sick is definitely the right word for it! 17 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:13,000 You won't be doing any horror shows while I'm principal of this school! 18 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,160 -Why? -Need I remind you 19 00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:19,560 of your last little stunt on cheerleading sign-up day? 20 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:26,000 And remember, everybody who signs up today gets two free pom-poms! 21 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:27,920 (SCREAMS) 22 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:31,040 -(CHUCKLES) That was a good one. -It was your last one! 23 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:36,440 Because your little horror shows are hereby banned from school permanently! 24 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:40,320 So you better think of something else fast for the talent contest, 25 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,760 -or your high school career is over. -(KLEET LAUGHS) 26 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:44,400 Have fun! 27 00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:49,520 Loser! Can't wait to see you bomb on stage! 28 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:53,440 Spencer is a game less loser! (LAUGHING) 29 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,360 (ALL LAUGH) 30 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:56,680 (SIGHS) 31 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,640 SPENCER: The only reason I even entered this stupid contest was so 32 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:09,560 that I could show everyone my skills. Now, I got nada! What am I gonna do now? 33 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:11,240 (BILLY SLURPING LOUDLY) 34 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,880 Hey, I know! You could do this cool magic trick I saw once. 35 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:18,240 We dress you up in a chicken suit, handcuff you, wrap you in chains, 36 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,760 then throw you into a giant banana milkshake! 37 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:27,240 -I hate banana milkshakes! -Okay, okay! We could hit those Bo Peeps 38 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,440 with some freestyle poppin' and lockin', yo! 39 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,920 (FREE-STYLING MUSIC PLAYING) 40 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:35,800 (BILLY GRUNTS, EXCLAIMS) 41 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:38,600 A little help? 42 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,400 Thanks anyway, but I can't compete with those other kids. 43 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:49,240 They all have coaches, choreographers, spiritual advisers, and... 44 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:53,320 Who needs fancy trainers when you've got Doctor Cobra? 45 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:59,360 The doctor is in! Follow my lead! 46 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:02,000 (PLAYS A NOTE) 47 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,160 (PLAYS A NOTE BADLY) 48 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,600 (GROANS) This is gonna be a little harder than I thought. 49 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:14,080 (SPENCER STRUMMING GUITAR) 50 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:17,920 Forget it! I'm not doing this. I'm not gonna play guitar. 51 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:21,000 -I sound horrible! -Too bad I can't play for you, dude. 52 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:25,360 Wait! You can't play for me, but maybe you can play with me! 53 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:30,640 -Something like this. -(PLAYS GUITAR RIFF) 54 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,360 -I am diggin' this chili! -Hmm. 55 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:41,280 -That's 'cause I made it extra spicy! -Caliente! 56 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,120 Muy caliente! 57 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:49,800 (BILLY SCREAMS) 58 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:53,600 Hide your daughters, people, 'cause we're gonna blow the roof 59 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:55,040 off this talent show. 60 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,640 (SNIFFS) 61 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:01,640 Are those your mom's triple-fudge, gut-bustin', lights-out brownies? Yeah! 62 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,960 -Don't worry, I'll catch up. -Don't be late, Casper. 63 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,000 Brownie! Brownie! Brownie! 64 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,520 (FOOD MIXER WHIRRING) 65 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:16,320 -(GASPS) Mm. Perfect! -Let me check! 66 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:22,800 Hey, honey! Look what I rigged up in my workshop! An underwear cannon! 67 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,520 To fire undies on stage while Spencer's playing. 68 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,440 -Oh, why? -'Cause that's what fans do 69 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:31,280 at rock shows, honey. Check out the range on this baby! 70 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:35,080 -Huh? Must be jammed. -(CLANKING) 71 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:36,560 (CRASHES) 72 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:40,120 You might want to use clean underwear, Hugh. 73 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,800 -Oh! Are you cooking brownies? -They're for the talent contest. 74 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,920 I'm gonna use the brownies to bribe Principal Ponzi. 75 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:52,560 -(FOOD MIXER WHIRRING) -(BILLY SCREAMS) 76 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,160 (GROANS) 77 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:02,400 Caliente! 78 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,720 PRINCIPAL PONZI: Hello, everyone, and welcome to Beverly Beverly High's 79 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:15,960 -Annual Talent Competition! -(CROWD CHEERS, APPLAUDS) 80 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,640 -Billy, where are you? -PRINCIPAL PONZI: Without further ado, 81 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,720 here they are, your over-privileged offspring! 82 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,040 (AUDIENCE GASPS) 83 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:35,040 (STRAINS) Ah! 84 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:39,120 -Number one! -Keep your eyes on the bullseye. 85 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:41,880 Y'all don't try this at home! 86 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,000 Oh. 87 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,880 RAJEEV: Okay, so I'm not saying Principal Ponzi is old, 88 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,800 but the reason he can teach Ancient History is 'cause he was there! 89 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,360 -(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) -(JOKE DRUMBEAT) 90 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:59,280 Hey-oh! (LAUGHS) Okay, I'm not saying Principal Ponzi is ugly, 91 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,040 but when he went to a freak show they gave him an application! 92 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:04,080 -(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) -(JOKE DRUMBEAT) 93 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,960 Good night! That's my time! Rajeev out! Peace! 94 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:11,240 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 95 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,000 Answer! Answer! Answer the phone! 96 00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:18,200 BILLY: You've reach His Highness, the brilliant, most talented BJC! 97 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:19,720 -Leave a message! -(GROANS) 98 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:25,000 (HARMONIZING) 99 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,480 (MIC FEEDBACK) 100 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:31,800 (PLAYS THE FLUTE) 101 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:37,640 (APPLAUSE) 102 00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:42,000 Billy! It's Spencer again. I've left you, like, 423 messages. Where are you, man? 103 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:46,800 -Get your see-through butt over here! -You ready to move to Loser Town, McLoser? 104 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,520 -Pack your bags! -PRINCIPAL PONZI: And now, prepare to be 105 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,200 underwhelmed by Spencer Wright. 106 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:53,840 -(GASPS) -Your turn! 107 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:56,560 (GASPS) 108 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,040 (SIGHS) 109 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:04,000 -HUGH: Whoa! Spencer! -(LAUGHS) A bra! 110 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:07,440 Woo-hoo! Go get 'em, son! That's my boy! 111 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:09,480 -Spencer! -(GROANS) 112 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:14,480 -Hi, Spence. Sorry! Little situation here. -Billy! 113 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:18,360 Either play or get off the stage. I've got a bus to catch. 114 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,560 (SPENCER STRUMMING GUITAR) 115 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,440 Good thing I brought the brownies. 116 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:29,440 Brownies? 117 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,680 KIDS: Brownies! 118 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:33,840 FEMALE VOICE: OMG! 119 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:39,120 BILLY: (SIGHS) That was close. Now where's the stage? 120 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:44,840 ALL: Mm-mm. 121 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:03,280 What is that? 122 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:05,000 (MUSIC PLAYING) 123 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:16,120 -Do those kids seem a little pasty? -Must be the hormones. 124 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:26,160 BILLY: Whoa! 125 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,000 Okay. You can do this, Billy Joe! 126 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:32,360 (EXCLAIMS) 127 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,480 That tastes like Spencer's stank shoes! 128 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,720 -Hey, Spence! -Billy! 129 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:50,000 Mr. Wright, what are you up to this time? 130 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,760 Dude, we've got a major problem here, okay? When everyone goes home 131 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,920 with a piece of you in their stomach, you're history! 132 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:57,480 -What are we gonna do? -I don't know, dude. 133 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,400 We'll have to think of a way to get you back together! 134 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,560 Well, maybe if you could get everyone to open up wide, 135 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:03,920 and I could buy enough time to escape... (SCREAMS) 136 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,680 Did you want this one, Mr. Wright? Brownies are for eating, 137 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,360 -not talking to! -No, wait! 138 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:11,560 (MUNCHING, EXCLAIMS) 139 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:16,560 -BILLY: Dude! It smells all Ponzi in here! -Hang on, buddy! 140 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:23,440 (ALL GASP) 141 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,640 Okay, it's time to do what I do best! 142 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,200 HUGH: Spencer's got no head! 143 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:44,440 (ALL SCREAM) 144 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:53,080 Yeah! I'm gonna need a long shower. 145 00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:00,600 (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) 146 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:06,480 (PLAYS GUITAR RIFF) 147 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:17,040 -ALL: Spencer! Spencer! Spencer! -(APPLAUSE) 148 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,680 Yeah! All right! You the man! 149 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:24,760 Stop! I warned Spencer about doing this kind of act 150 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:28,000 -so he's hereby disqualified! -(AUDIENCE BOOING) 151 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:31,120 -Then who's the winner? -I don't know. 152 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,800 (MURMURS) 153 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:38,040 The clear winner is obviously Lolo, 154 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:42,720 -the very rich Lolo! -I win! I win! I'm the best! I am! 155 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:47,240 Either way, Spencer is banned from all school contests forever! 156 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:48,960 (GROANS) 157 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,880 You know, Spence, it's like I always say. The most important thing... 158 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,880 Looks like you lose again, McLoser. 159 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,760 MALLORY: Actually, Kleet, I thought Spencer's show was pretty wicked. 160 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,880 Everybody knows he was the real winner. See ya later. 161 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:13,080 I just remembered some stuff I gotta do. Bye! 162 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:17,800 Yeah, and stay out! Dude, she is so diggin' your chili! 163 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,280 -Spicy! -Habanero! 164 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:23,480 -Caliente! -Super caliente! 165 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:30,680 (BILLY SCREAMING) 166 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:37,640 Whoa! Check this! I just got nominated for a Shorty Award! 167 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,680 Hey, don't sweat it, little man. You'll grow eventually. 168 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:43,600 No, tool kit, it's an award for short films. 169 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,880 My movie Singing in the Grave was nominated. And let's see... 170 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:49,720 (CLEARS THROAT) ..."You may bring one guest to the award ceremony." 171 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:54,440 Well, seeing as I'm the super talented and hunky-licious star of the film, 172 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:56,880 I'd be happy to join you. You can pick me up at seven. 173 00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:01,640 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow your roll, Francis Ford Broppola. 174 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,760 I've been to dozens of red-carpet shindigs. 175 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,480 You can't just bring any old can of beans with ya. 176 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,440 -A can of what? -You need a celebrity on your arm, bro! 177 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:14,880 Some A-list model or actress. Trust me, your career depends on it. 178 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,600 What are you talking about? No one's gonna care who I bring. 179 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,880 Oh, yeah? Ever hear the name Morgan Showalter? 180 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,120 Uh... Hmm. 181 00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:25,000 He was the most promising director of his generation. 182 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:28,000 Until he was nominated for a People's Pick Award. 183 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,520 Mr. Showalter, over here! Let's see a smile! 184 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:36,200 -Mr. Showalter, something for the fan? -Yeah, sure. First, uh, honor to be here, 185 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:38,880 really. And, uh, to me, that movie was an incre... 186 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,960 (GASPS) I've seen you on the TV! Give me your autograph! 187 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,160 BILLY: The fool decided to bring his mother as his date. 188 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:48,160 Hold my bag, Morgy. I gotta get a picture! 189 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,520 BILLY: And that was it for him. 190 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,280 The guy is probably serving fries somewhere now. 191 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:56,960 Oh come on! You can't expect me to believe that story? 192 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,680 Here are your fries. 193 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,640 MALE VOICE: Showalter! Get your butt over here. 194 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,360 I'm coming, boss! 195 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,240 Dude, you gotta help me! I don't wanna get Showalter-ed! 196 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:10,360 Relax. We're gonna find you some arm candy for the awards. 197 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:12,400 Hey! What about me? 198 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,640 Ha! Get back to me when you're on the A-list, okay, kid? 199 00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:19,680 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 200 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,720 Back in the day, every time I stepped into a limo, 201 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:28,600 it was fully stocked with celebrity señoritas. 202 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:30,600 Yeah, but you know they don't live there, right? 203 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:33,640 Famous girls do. It's their natural habitat. 204 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,680 Sleeping Beauty at three o'clock. 205 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,520 (SNORING) 206 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:46,320 -Dad, what are you doing here? -It's my little hideaway. 207 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:50,280 Don't tell your mother. She thinks I'm watering the compost heap. 208 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:54,040 -(SNORING) -He must've scared all the ladies away. 209 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:58,440 Fear not, dude. We'll get you a superstar date. 210 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:03,000 There's plenty of fish in the sea. Why? ‘Cause there's plenty of limos in the sea. 211 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:07,280 Okay, but we're running out of time. The award ceremony is tonight! 212 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,840 (EXCLAIMS) 213 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:11,720 Here we go. 214 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:14,280 Nope. 215 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:16,960 Nada. 216 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:18,920 Squat. 217 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:20,400 Zip. 218 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:24,600 Nothing! No one! Goose egg! Empty! 219 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:28,280 What's happened in the world? (SOBS) 220 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:32,760 Hey. Uh, how about a limo that's not in a used car lot? 221 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,800 Like, uh, this one! 222 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:40,920 Get on it, young blood. 223 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,080 It's datin' time! 224 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:55,840 I understand someone's looking for some arm candy. 225 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:06,560 Fine. If that's how it is, drive, David! 226 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:12,560 When I was touring, there were always celeb girls hanging backstage. 227 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:16,520 -Yeah, but at the Wi Fri? -Backstage is backstage. 228 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,840 Hello, ladies! 229 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,840 (GROANS) Gotcha! (GROANS) Hmm. 230 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:26,480 (SCREAMS) 231 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:31,200 Goal! Go get her, cowboy. Get it, get it. 232 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:32,480 (GULPS) 233 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:38,160 Wait! You wanna be a player, you gotta wear the uniform. 234 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,680 (COUGHS) 235 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:50,240 Now go drop some smooth, heartbreaker. 236 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:52,920 (SPENCER CRASHES) 237 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:56,800 Hi! I’m Spencer Shorty, and I’m nominated for a Wright... no! Other way around. 238 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,280 Um, I'm... I’m nominated for an award and I’d like you to come with me, 239 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,320 -as my date, for it. -Sounds fun. 240 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:08,320 -Buck? Why are you wearing high heels? -Because I’m climbing a ladder, dude. 241 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,640 Okay. Why are your legs shaved? 242 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,800 Look, are you bringing me to that award show or not? 243 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:18,520 Award show? No, I said a "bored" show. Bye! 244 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:33,280 Fine. If that’s how it is. Drive. 245 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:46,920 -Whoa! -What are you doing taking a lunch break, 246 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:50,080 bro-ham sandwich? We gotta find you a chiquita on the quick! 247 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,960 That’s what we’re doing! But this time, we’re doing it my way, okay? 248 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:55,920 I’m done with your dopey ideas. 249 00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,640 -Huh? Oh, hi, Spencer. -Hi! Mallory, 250 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,320 Uh, listen, I’ve been invited to an award show tonight, 251 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,040 and I get to bring a date, and I was kind of wondering... 252 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:09,160 I mean if you’re not too busy... and like, it wouldn’t be like a date-date 253 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,560 -or anything. -Sure. It sounds fun! 254 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,240 Yes! 255 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:19,400 -Ew! Gross! -Billy! What are you doing? 256 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,720 -Jerk! -Come on, you guys. It was an accident. 257 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,440 (SIGHS) You really disappoint me, Spencer. 258 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:37,040 -Mallory, wait! What’s your problem? -Dude, Mallory's cool, 259 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,600 but she’s no A-lister. 260 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:42,200 You were about to make a career-killing loser move. 261 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,800 Consider it another favor from B-Joe-Co. 262 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,360 Shanila, please go to the Shorties with me. 263 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,640 I don’t have a date and I’m freakin’ out. Will you go with me? 264 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:55,760 -Please, please, please, please, please? -I’d love to! 265 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:59,600 -Thank you! Oh, thank you! -Oh, no! I can’t. 266 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:03,280 -I loaned all my evening gowns to Rajeev. -Hmm. 267 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:09,200 So now what, Mr. Arm Candy? The Shorties are in less than an hour 268 00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:13,320 -and I’ve got zilch! -We’ll find someone, Cesar Bromero. 269 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:16,600 We just gotta dig deep and... (GASPS) Groupie alert! 270 00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:20,760 I can’t believe I didn’t think of this earlier! My groupies! 271 00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:23,440 I love you, Billy! 272 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,480 Let me in, Billy! 273 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:30,080 -(LAUGHS) -(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 274 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,360 Dude, I wouldn’t exactly call them A-listers. 275 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,640 My groupies have followed me around so long 276 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:36,800 they’re practically celebrities themselves. 277 00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:40,000 (SIGHS) Fine. What have I got to lose? 278 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:42,510 Uh, excuse me, miss, but would you like... 279 00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:44,360 Beat it! This is our spot. 280 00:18:44,527 --> 00:18:46,357 You can go worship Billy Joe somewhere else! 281 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,720 -Go away! (GROWLS) -Go away! (GROWLS)* 282 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:52,880 Ladies, you’ve got it all wrong. I’m not a Cobra fan, I’m a Cobra cousin. 283 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,240 -This is my house! -Are you serious? 284 00:18:55,840 --> 00:19:00,080 -Wow. He sort of looks like him. -(SNIFFS) He smells just like him! 285 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,280 (GASPS) He’s adorable! 286 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,680 Maybe we should become your groupies! (GIGGLES) 287 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:09,480 That’s not happening! Get your own fans, groupie-stealer! 288 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,720 -BILLY: Sup girls? -(ALL GASP) 289 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:24,120 Why settle for a distant relative when you can have the real deal? 290 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:31,480 (SHRILLS SCREAMS) 291 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:38,120 -BILLY: Whoa! Easy, girls. Easy, easy. -That’s it. I’m done. 292 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:39,280 (PHONE KEYS BEEPING) 293 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:43,800 Hey, Jeevster. So, you still interested in going to the awards with me? 294 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:49,400 Cool. Just, please, do not wear any more of those ridiculous outfits, okay? 295 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,760 -(MURMURS ON THE PHONE) -Sweet. See you there, buddy. 296 00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,680 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 297 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,400 Huh... 298 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,480 Hello, handsome! 299 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,320 What did I say about ridiculous outfits? 300 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,760 Uh, excuse me, this Louise Bulgari original 301 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:23,160 with cinched mermaid bodice 302 00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:26,200 and sweetheart neckline is totally this season! 303 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,200 If you think this is ridiculous, then you, my good fellow, 304 00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:31,160 need to go back to fashion school! 305 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,680 Man, those groupies were persistent. But I outsmarted 'em. 306 00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:36,640 Left them at a waxwork museum. 307 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,280 Whoa! You’re bringing him to the awards? 308 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:44,120 Yes. Who cares if he’s not a celebrity? He’s my friend. 309 00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:46,080 (SNIVELS) 310 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,680 Your funeral, buddy. At least the dress is this season. 311 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,840 Thank you! Finally, someone respects me! 312 00:20:55,640 --> 00:21:00,840 And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, 313 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,600 the Shorty for the Best Short goes to... 314 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,800 Spencer Wright for Singing in the Grave. 315 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:12,320 -Whoa! Yeah! -SPENCER: Coming through. 316 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,280 -Hey! How you doin' this evening? -Well done, son. 317 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,120 (APPLAUSE) 318 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:21,640 Wow! What an honor. There are just so many people to thank. 319 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,360 -Hey! -Who is this young lady? 320 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,520 This is my star, Rajeev, who helped me realize 321 00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:31,640 that it doesn’t matter how famous you are, it’s what’s inside that really counts. 322 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,200 -Oh! -(GIRL SCREAMING) 323 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:34,640 He's here! 324 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,920 (GIRLS SCREAMING) 325 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:46,600 Where is he? 326 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:48,320 Hey! 327 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:53,720 (ALL SCREAMING) 328 00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:55,440 (QUIVERS) 329 00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:01,040 Well, I guess you can call me Morgan Showalter, Junior. 330 00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:04,880 (MAN APPLAUDING) 331 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:07,240 Really incredible. 332 00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:10,000 -MALE VOICE 1: Amazing. -MALE VOICE 2: Amazing! 333 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,800 (APPLAUSE) 334 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,920 (CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING) 335 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:21,520 -A star is born. -So, my career's gonna be all right? 336 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:26,440 Your career? Who cares? Rajeev is blowin’ up big! 337 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:31,720 I always knew this guy was destined for the A-list. 338 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,720 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 339 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:38,320 MALE VOICE: Yes! 27343

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