Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,083 --> 00:00:02,583
♪ La, la, la ♪
2
00:00:02,667 --> 00:00:06,497
♪ La, la la la, la-la la la ♪
3
00:00:06,583 --> 00:00:08,293
♪ Da da da da ♪
4
00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:11,245
♪ Da da da da da da ♪
5
00:00:11,333 --> 00:00:15,713
♪ Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ♪
6
00:00:15,792 --> 00:00:17,002
♪♪
7
00:00:17,083 --> 00:00:19,713
I don't get no fuckin'
respect in Strongburg.
8
00:00:19,792 --> 00:00:21,792
-Oh, God.
-I'm serious!
9
00:00:21,875 --> 00:00:23,575
I'm the only person
covering the news,
10
00:00:23,667 --> 00:00:25,747
and somehow I can't get
a damn nomination
11
00:00:25,833 --> 00:00:27,423
for any damn news awards?
12
00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:30,460
Not even a damn thank you for
the damn work that I damn do?
13
00:00:30,542 --> 00:00:34,792
Shit, I can't even get
a decent damn story to cover.
14
00:00:34,875 --> 00:00:36,205
Uh, that'll be $25.
15
00:00:36,292 --> 00:00:37,582
Ooh, looky here!
Late for work.
16
00:00:37,667 --> 00:00:39,287
Gotta go. You know I got
to make my time, girl.
17
00:00:39,375 --> 00:00:40,535
Jamantha!
18
00:00:40,625 --> 00:00:42,075
Uh-huh, that's what
I'm talkin' about!
19
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,077
And that's why healthcare
is free here in Strongburg,
20
00:00:44,167 --> 00:00:45,667
all thanks to me.
21
00:00:45,750 --> 00:00:47,750
Boys, I have bad news.
22
00:00:47,833 --> 00:00:50,463
Stupid Horse will die.
23
00:00:50,542 --> 00:00:52,792
W-Wait.
You didn't let me finish.
24
00:00:52,875 --> 00:00:55,325
You left a mad gap in the
sentence, signaling a period.
25
00:00:55,417 --> 00:00:56,957
We thought your sentence
was over.
26
00:00:57,042 --> 00:00:58,252
That's on you.
27
00:00:58,333 --> 00:01:01,293
He will die if we don't
get anesthesia.
28
00:01:01,375 --> 00:01:03,415
The pain is
too much to bear.
29
00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:05,420
And the hospital
is completely out.
30
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,630
[ Scream ]
31
00:01:07,708 --> 00:01:09,878
My friends!
Oh, gosh.
32
00:01:09,958 --> 00:01:12,208
It is so good to see you guys.
33
00:01:12,292 --> 00:01:14,882
My ankies hurt so badly!
34
00:01:14,958 --> 00:01:19,208
But now, seeing your smiling
faces, I feel so --
35
00:01:19,292 --> 00:01:21,582
[ Grunts ] Now you can
work on him, Doc.
36
00:01:21,667 --> 00:01:22,787
Amazing.
37
00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:25,245
Are you outta anesthesia
to knock spinnas out
38
00:01:25,333 --> 00:01:27,883
when you got to do surgery
when they break they ankles?
39
00:01:27,958 --> 00:01:29,038
Because -- Wait.
40
00:01:29,125 --> 00:01:30,785
How did Stupid Horse
break his ankles?
41
00:01:30,875 --> 00:01:33,535
I mean, honestly, he broke them
three times in season one,
42
00:01:33,625 --> 00:01:35,325
so who even remembers
at this point?
43
00:01:35,417 --> 00:01:40,627
Anyway, get Canon Wulf's hands
for the low price of $19.99,
44
00:01:40,708 --> 00:01:42,498
to knock out
your dumbass patients.
45
00:01:42,583 --> 00:01:46,503
All right, boys, I'll have
your friend out in no time.
46
00:01:46,583 --> 00:01:48,173
Oh, scrambled eggs!
47
00:01:48,250 --> 00:01:50,630
I forgot to ask Mr. Horse
if there was anything
48
00:01:50,708 --> 00:01:53,668
cosmetic he wanted done
while he was under the knife.
49
00:01:53,750 --> 00:01:56,250
You guys seem like close
personal friends
50
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:57,543
of Stupid Horse.
51
00:01:57,625 --> 00:01:59,625
Who -- Who's Stupid Horse?
52
00:01:59,708 --> 00:02:02,668
Is there anything you'd like
for him to have done?
53
00:02:02,750 --> 00:02:03,790
Hmm!
54
00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:05,495
I think homey
should get new teeth.
55
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:06,883
Like, lots of them.
56
00:02:06,958 --> 00:02:08,458
Like that actor dude, Denz--
57
00:02:08,542 --> 00:02:12,042
We now interrupt this fantasy
for a breaking new report.
58
00:02:12,125 --> 00:02:15,165
Hello? Can someone give me
the fucking news report?
59
00:02:15,250 --> 00:02:16,750
Thank you.
[ Clears throat ]
60
00:02:16,833 --> 00:02:21,423
This just in -- Mayor Webb
has escaped from Milwaukee.
61
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,380
You know how
this ends, Webb.
62
00:02:23,458 --> 00:02:25,538
No one escapes
Milwaukee.
63
00:02:25,625 --> 00:02:28,705
We join the high-speed chase
currently underway.
64
00:02:28,792 --> 00:02:30,712
[ Horns honking ]
65
00:02:30,792 --> 00:02:33,212
Mayor Webb, can the people
get a couple of words
66
00:02:33,292 --> 00:02:35,582
on this attempted escape
from Milwaukee?
67
00:02:35,667 --> 00:02:37,127
I'm just in a rush
to get back home
68
00:02:37,208 --> 00:02:38,458
'cause a homey of mine
hit me up
69
00:02:38,542 --> 00:02:40,632
about a "pyramid job
selling forks," you know.
70
00:02:40,708 --> 00:02:42,128
I don't even know
what that means,
71
00:02:42,208 --> 00:02:44,168
but pyramids
are pretty foul.
72
00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:46,880
God damn it!
Another stupid...
73
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,170
Wait a minute.
There's a story here.
74
00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:50,920
A dum-dum actually succeeding
75
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,710
in escaping the cornball hell
that is Milwaukee?
76
00:02:53,792 --> 00:02:54,882
I can see it now.
77
00:02:54,958 --> 00:02:56,578
Every lame has their day.
Ooh!
78
00:02:56,667 --> 00:02:59,707
I'm definitely leveling
the fuck up with this shit.
79
00:02:59,792 --> 00:03:01,132
No the hell you ain't!
80
00:03:01,208 --> 00:03:03,958
Get your nosy ass
outta my business!
81
00:03:04,042 --> 00:03:07,212
What the fuck?
82
00:03:07,292 --> 00:03:08,632
Oh, hell no!
83
00:03:08,708 --> 00:03:10,538
I do not have enough free
health benefits for this.
84
00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:13,245
This job sucks!
85
00:03:13,333 --> 00:03:16,543
You asked -- actually, demanded
that I remind you about --
86
00:03:16,625 --> 00:03:18,495
Oh, shit!
"Blue Bloods"!
87
00:03:18,583 --> 00:03:19,833
Y'all know what it is.
88
00:03:19,917 --> 00:03:21,247
It's my recurring bit.
89
00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:23,963
I'll be back in 45 minutes.
90
00:03:24,042 --> 00:03:26,252
[ Horns honking ]
91
00:03:31,042 --> 00:03:32,542
Hello, gang.
92
00:03:32,625 --> 00:03:36,745
I am so sorry that...
93
00:03:36,833 --> 00:03:38,963
I dropped my cup of blood!
94
00:03:39,042 --> 00:03:41,382
Happens all of the time.
95
00:03:41,458 --> 00:03:43,168
As I said,
I'm not a doctor.
96
00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:45,460
Now, your friend
is doing fine,
97
00:03:45,542 --> 00:03:49,632
and there's still time to add
in any last-minute changes.
98
00:03:49,708 --> 00:03:53,628
Yo! What if they shrunk dude
down to the size of a germ
99
00:03:53,708 --> 00:03:56,708
or whatever
and I use him to clean my fur?
100
00:04:00,208 --> 00:04:03,038
Can't get nothing going right.
Just my life, just...
101
00:04:03,125 --> 00:04:04,915
[ Gunfire ringtone ]
102
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,960
Ah! Jamantha.
My money.
103
00:04:08,042 --> 00:04:09,292
Yo, keep your head down,
104
00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:12,325
or I will pour water
directly into your eye.
105
00:04:12,417 --> 00:04:14,457
I know you
ducking me, Jamantha.
106
00:04:14,542 --> 00:04:16,002
Ain't nobody
ducking shit.
107
00:04:16,083 --> 00:04:18,503
I'm busting my ass trying
to get this story shit.
108
00:04:18,583 --> 00:04:20,793
I don't even have time
to have lunch.
109
00:04:20,875 --> 00:04:22,165
[ Man coughs ]
110
00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:23,420
Okay.
111
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:25,830
You mistakin' me for someone
who gives a shit.
112
00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:27,497
Ugh! Meet me somewhere
for the money.
113
00:04:27,583 --> 00:04:30,383
Somewhere?
Where, bitch?
114
00:04:30,458 --> 00:04:32,748
Whew! You fixed the damn
Gyrocopter yet?
115
00:04:32,833 --> 00:04:34,673
I ain't tryna lose this story.
116
00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:37,330
♪♪
117
00:04:37,417 --> 00:04:38,917
Oh, he could have
a cereal dispenser.
118
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,630
That could cut out
going to the store.
119
00:04:40,708 --> 00:04:43,958
And a DVD player!
120
00:04:44,042 --> 00:04:47,082
Then I could sell mine!
121
00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:50,497
Uh, okay.
122
00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:52,713
I can try my best.
123
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:53,962
How about a horse?
124
00:04:54,042 --> 00:04:56,382
[ Woman speaks
foreign language ]
125
00:04:56,458 --> 00:04:58,828
Do you even remember
what Stupid Horse looks like?
126
00:04:58,917 --> 00:05:01,167
To be honest, no.
127
00:05:03,417 --> 00:05:05,037
Oh!
So we know him.
128
00:05:05,125 --> 00:05:07,075
-Sorta.
-Mm.
129
00:05:07,167 --> 00:05:08,787
"Blue Bloods" will be right back
130
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:11,455
after this quick news update,
131
00:05:11,542 --> 00:05:12,712
ya dipshit.
132
00:05:12,792 --> 00:05:13,962
It fuckin' better.
133
00:05:14,042 --> 00:05:16,132
This episode
is the worst one yet.
134
00:05:16,208 --> 00:05:17,498
I love it!
135
00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:19,673
It looks like Mayor Webb
is now at Musty's --
136
00:05:19,750 --> 00:05:21,670
an interesting stop
during a high-speed chase.
137
00:05:21,750 --> 00:05:23,080
Maybe he has to pee-pee?
138
00:05:23,167 --> 00:05:25,077
Actually, I'm on my way
back to Jowanne Fabric.
139
00:05:25,167 --> 00:05:26,497
Uh, just got off the phone
with my boy.
140
00:05:26,583 --> 00:05:27,883
Yeah, the whole fork
pyramid job
141
00:05:27,958 --> 00:05:29,288
I was telling y'all
about fell through,
142
00:05:29,375 --> 00:05:30,745
all the way through,
so that ain't working.
143
00:05:30,833 --> 00:05:32,753
Uh, but I'm not going back
to Milwaukee.
144
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:33,883
I just can't.
145
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,420
Jowanne's.
So, what's your plan?
146
00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:39,420
[ Grunts ]
147
00:05:41,292 --> 00:05:42,752
[ People scream ]
148
00:05:42,833 --> 00:05:45,923
All I know is somebody better
give me a job application,
149
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,080
or this guy right here --
hey, what's your name?
150
00:05:48,167 --> 00:05:49,537
It's me -- Ralph!
151
00:05:49,625 --> 00:05:50,915
You know me, Webb!
152
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,750
Yeah. Ralph, Ralph.
Ralph is gonna get it!
153
00:05:53,833 --> 00:05:54,923
Oh, please!
154
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,420
One just can't simply apply
to Jowanne's.
155
00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:58,580
This isn't Musty's.
156
00:05:58,667 --> 00:06:00,247
You have to be qualified
before you can
157
00:06:00,333 --> 00:06:02,963
even think
to apply to Jowanne's.
158
00:06:03,042 --> 00:06:05,462
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
I am qualified, okay?
159
00:06:05,542 --> 00:06:06,752
Are you, now?
160
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:08,293
What kind of needle
you holding?
161
00:06:08,375 --> 00:06:12,375
Uh, uh, this is a --
a knitting s--
162
00:06:12,458 --> 00:06:14,788
Um, a knitting needle!
163
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,785
[ Laughs ] Amateur.
164
00:06:16,875 --> 00:06:18,915
That is the Earth,
Wool & Fire 300
165
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,380
with cooling technology
and airbags.
166
00:06:21,458 --> 00:06:22,708
You aren't worthy.
167
00:06:22,792 --> 00:06:24,462
The standoff
continues, then!
168
00:06:24,542 --> 00:06:25,792
God damn it, Webb!
169
00:06:25,875 --> 00:06:27,535
Folks don't care about
no hostage situation.
170
00:06:27,625 --> 00:06:29,955
Now give me my redemption story,
dickhead.
171
00:06:30,042 --> 00:06:31,332
Never!
172
00:06:31,417 --> 00:06:33,377
Thought I wouldn't
find you, huh?
173
00:06:33,458 --> 00:06:34,668
Oh, shit!
Blazor!
174
00:06:34,750 --> 00:06:37,460
Enough with the slick shit,
Jamantha.
175
00:06:37,542 --> 00:06:39,882
Wait.
You wear glasses.
176
00:06:39,958 --> 00:06:42,378
So that means
you're smart, right?
177
00:06:42,458 --> 00:06:44,458
Yes, I do, and yes, I am.
178
00:06:44,542 --> 00:06:46,712
Blazor, can you help
this dickhead prove
179
00:06:46,792 --> 00:06:48,172
that he can work
at Jowanne's?
180
00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:49,830
[ Sighs ] Look, I'm just here
for my money,
181
00:06:49,917 --> 00:06:53,747
and one can't just
simply work at Jowanne's.
182
00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:56,463
You have to be qualified.
183
00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:58,172
Wait.
How do you know that?
184
00:06:58,250 --> 00:07:01,960
Because I am one
of the qualified.
185
00:07:02,042 --> 00:07:03,672
I used to work at Jowanne's.
186
00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:06,750
-Yay!
-Congratulations, Blazor.
187
00:07:06,833 --> 00:07:10,003
Employee of
the month again.
188
00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:13,253
We'd like to promote you
to manager of Jowanne's.
189
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:14,923
Mm. No, thanks.
[ All gasp ]
190
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,830
I think I'm gonna go open my own
hair salon with my bonus money.
191
00:07:17,917 --> 00:07:19,207
Peace.
192
00:07:19,292 --> 00:07:21,462
-No, not Blazor!
-Aw, that's a shame.
193
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,462
But you were the prodigal child!
194
00:07:23,542 --> 00:07:24,752
-No!
-I'm gonna die.
195
00:07:24,833 --> 00:07:26,333
Well, that's
fucking perfect.
196
00:07:26,417 --> 00:07:29,037
You can definitely help this sad
motherfucker get the gig.
197
00:07:29,125 --> 00:07:31,785
Do it, and I'll give you
your money, I promise.
198
00:07:31,875 --> 00:07:33,745
Y'all both sad
motherfuckers, TBH.
199
00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:35,583
Well, I won't be
after this.
200
00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:36,877
Plus, it'll make you
look good,
201
00:07:36,958 --> 00:07:38,998
and that's got to be
great for your business.
202
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:41,543
Businesses.
203
00:07:43,083 --> 00:07:45,503
[ Gasps ] Oh, great.
204
00:07:45,583 --> 00:07:47,753
The prodigal child
has returned.
205
00:07:47,833 --> 00:07:51,383
Mayor Webb, I'm gonna help you
get a job at Jowanne's.
206
00:07:51,458 --> 00:07:53,208
You're not welcome.
207
00:07:53,292 --> 00:07:55,212
Yay! [ Chuckles ]
208
00:07:55,292 --> 00:07:56,582
Yes!
209
00:07:56,667 --> 00:08:05,167
♪♪
210
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:07,880
You aren't looking within.
211
00:08:07,958 --> 00:08:09,378
I'm trying, God damn it!
212
00:08:09,458 --> 00:08:12,378
Don't try -- do.
213
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:14,248
Silence your mind.
214
00:08:14,333 --> 00:08:16,713
It's not about the fabric
of the store.
215
00:08:16,792 --> 00:08:22,002
It's about the fabric
of your mind, of your
character.
216
00:08:22,083 --> 00:08:26,633
It's about
the fabric of you.
217
00:08:26,708 --> 00:08:29,078
You are ready.
218
00:08:29,167 --> 00:08:36,917
♪♪
219
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,040
Now you can apply.
220
00:08:39,125 --> 00:08:41,035
No need for him to apply.
221
00:08:41,125 --> 00:08:42,915
Mayor Webb, you're hired!
222
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:46,580
Hell yeah!
223
00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:48,577
Jamantha, my money.
224
00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:49,997
[ Sighs ]
225
00:08:50,083 --> 00:08:51,633
Wait.
Let me just ask.
226
00:08:51,708 --> 00:08:54,538
Have you ever thought about
investing in the film industry?
227
00:08:54,625 --> 00:08:57,325
Whoo! This story about to put
your girl on a new level!
228
00:08:57,417 --> 00:08:59,497
The price just went up,
Strongburg.
229
00:08:59,583 --> 00:09:01,333
The price just went...
230
00:09:01,417 --> 00:09:03,167
[ Buzzer ]
...up?
231
00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:05,630
No, no, no!
232
00:09:05,708 --> 00:09:08,168
Tell me you recorded this.
Lie to me! I don't care!
233
00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:10,790
Just tell me you fuckin'
recorded this!
234
00:09:12,375 --> 00:09:14,785
I'm not a doctor!
235
00:09:16,542 --> 00:09:17,962
Hey, homies.
236
00:09:18,042 --> 00:09:21,922
Check out my new fingees!
237
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:25,040
♪♪
238
00:09:25,125 --> 00:09:27,665
Who?
What the fuck are you?
239
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:29,790
It's me, Yeti!
Stupid Horse.
240
00:09:29,875 --> 00:09:34,745
I get it. It's hard to
recognize me with my new look.
241
00:09:34,833 --> 00:09:37,083
-Yeah, okay.
-Hands?!
242
00:09:37,167 --> 00:09:39,537
Nobody asked Frasier
for any damn hands!
243
00:09:39,625 --> 00:09:42,745
These are useless!
244
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,083
Mm, yeah.
245
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,997
How are they supposed to make
our lives better?
246
00:09:46,083 --> 00:09:47,793
If anything,
it's just upsetting.
247
00:09:47,875 --> 00:09:51,165
More like...
248
00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:53,330
upsettingly dope!
249
00:09:53,417 --> 00:09:54,877
Nah, just upsetting.
250
00:09:54,958 --> 00:09:56,828
Well, I don't care.
251
00:09:56,917 --> 00:09:58,127
I love my hands.
252
00:09:58,208 --> 00:10:00,458
And I want to know
what silk feels like.
253
00:10:00,542 --> 00:10:04,632
You eat my damn sandwich,
and then you break my camera!
254
00:10:04,708 --> 00:10:06,498
Nah, wench,
you gon' fix this!
255
00:10:06,583 --> 00:10:07,833
Where's the glue aisle?
256
00:10:07,917 --> 00:10:11,667
I just love feeling things
with my new fingees!
257
00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:14,130
You having hands is
getting annoying, fast.
258
00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:17,078
I can touch this,
and this, and that!
259
00:10:17,167 --> 00:10:18,537
[ Gasps ] Ooh!
260
00:10:18,625 --> 00:10:20,705
Cashmere!
[ Gasps ]
261
00:10:20,792 --> 00:10:23,712
So that's what that feels
like with hands!
262
00:10:23,792 --> 00:10:25,632
Incredible!
Ahh!
263
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:28,498
Um, excuse me.
Sir?
264
00:10:28,583 --> 00:10:30,503
-Yes?
-Mayor Webb?!
265
00:10:30,583 --> 00:10:32,003
-Ha-ha!
-Hello, sir.
266
00:10:32,083 --> 00:10:33,383
Hello!
267
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:36,578
And welcome to Jowanne's,
and also my first day at work.
268
00:10:36,667 --> 00:10:37,957
Amazing!
269
00:10:38,042 --> 00:10:42,212
Can I get 200 yards
of this fine silkity-silk?
270
00:10:42,292 --> 00:10:45,962
And can I get 200 yards
of you going back to Milwaukee?
271
00:10:46,042 --> 00:10:49,882
[ Blade thunks ]
[ Sobbing ] My fingees!
272
00:10:49,958 --> 00:10:58,378
♪♪
273
00:10:58,458 --> 00:11:07,128
♪♪
19177
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
