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1
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,968
[horns honking in distance]
2
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,590
[stately music playing]
3
00:00:11,636 --> 00:00:12,596
- Mimosa?
4
00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:14,097
[cat meows]
5
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,929
Mimosa?
6
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:18,234
- Hell of a morning, sisters.
7
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:19,438
- Regina!
- Regina, hi.
8
00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:21,557
- Hell of a morning.
- Hi! Hell of a morning.
9
00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:23,154
- Jezebeth!
10
00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:24,939
Jahi!
11
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:27,323
You let yourself go.
12
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,570
- Hey, you birth 537 offspring,
13
00:00:29,612 --> 00:00:31,452
and we'll see
how your tits swing.
14
00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:35,199
- You were always the demon
of sleeping around.
15
00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:37,253
Karen.
- Regina.
16
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:38,827
- Look at us.
17
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,252
We have not all been together
18
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:42,750
since your wedding
centuries ago.
19
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,842
Queen of Hell.
20
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,458
How is that going?
21
00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:48,344
- Eh, things will be better
22
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,841
when we go back
to the old ways.
23
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:54,804
Devil made Hell
so disgusting and weak, right?
24
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:56,596
- [slurps]
- [coughs]
25
00:00:56,639 --> 00:00:57,719
- Mimosa?
26
00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:00,636
- Um, everyone loves
the new Hell, Regina.
27
00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:01,685
- No!
28
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:04,268
Don't you miss
soaking your clothes
29
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,444
in the blood of virgins,
30
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,443
making vile men
pay for their sins?
31
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:11,526
- Ugh, getting blood
out of anything
32
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:12,991
is a nightmare!
[laughs]
33
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,871
- I took three lavender
bubble baths last week.
34
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,119
Now, that's a sin.
35
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,450
[laughter]
- That sounds pathetic.
36
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,406
You girls are funny.
- Mimosa?
37
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:24,036
- Regina, old Hell is gone.
38
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:27,594
You holding on,
that's pathetic.
39
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,379
- Try to fit in, honey.
- [groans]
40
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,472
All these centuries,
41
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:33,888
I thought my sisters,
of all creatures,
42
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:37,967
would feel as I do,
but I am alone,
43
00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:40,934
so I will try to change.
44
00:01:40,975 --> 00:01:42,055
- Mimosa?
- Ah!
45
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,112
- I will shove this mimosa
up your ass
46
00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:49,936
and pull it up your throat
and make you drink it!
47
00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:55,238
[dramatic music]
48
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:58,241
[lively music]
49
00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:05,384
* *
50
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:18,602
[breathes deeply]
51
00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:21,348
Good morning
to Devil's allies and servants
52
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:24,061
to whom I hold no contempt!
53
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,652
I bring muffins.
54
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:27,517
- Oh, nice!
- So generous.
55
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,114
- Fuck, yeah!
Banana nut!
56
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,859
- Home-baked confections,
Regina?
57
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:33,360
This is uncharacteristically
domestic of you.
58
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,533
- Hell has changed, McKinley,
59
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:39,832
and now I finally see
if I can change with it.
60
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,658
It is not so hard!
61
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:42,833
- Oh. Oouugh!
62
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:44,371
I think that muffin
went right through me!
63
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,794
I gotta go, you know, poo!
64
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,253
[gurgling]
65
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:51,503
- Did Beans just disparage
my muffins?
66
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:54,166
- Mm, it can
be interpreted as such.
67
00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:56,375
- Ugh, I tried, McKinley.
68
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:57,836
- Do what you must.
69
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,056
- Of course.
70
00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:04,229
- Oh, no.
71
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,227
[crashing]
72
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,228
- [grunts]
73
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:09,229
[tense music]
74
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,022
* *
75
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:13,566
[glass shatters]
[yelps]
76
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,860
- It will be a cold day
77
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:19,994
when a man insults
a succubus of Hell and lives!
78
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,543
Is it cold out, Beans?
79
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:23,997
- Without my pants, it is.
80
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,867
* *
81
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,544
[screeching]
82
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:30,502
- Whoa! Regina!
- Devil!
83
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,423
Ah, surprise?
84
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,262
I made muffins.
85
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:35,297
- I have got to install
86
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:36,680
shatterproof glass
for that window.
87
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,426
Beans, can you breathe, buddy?
88
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:39,928
- [muffled speech]
89
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:42,679
- Administrator Orjak, repeat
what you were just telling me.
90
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:45,432
- We're dealing with
a 19% rise of human misery
91
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,095
despite the release
of "Game of Thrones"
92
00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:48,693
Season 8 on DVD.
93
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,688
We don't get it,
but we do know
94
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,150
that throwing humans
out of windows
95
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:53,320
is a negative.
96
00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:54,818
- We are trying
to make the humans happy,
97
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:55,689
and it's not easy.
98
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:58,065
This behavior?
Not helping.
99
00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:00,413
We're talking centuries
of not helping.
100
00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:02,368
- I was trying to be nice.
101
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,789
- Take him out of your butt,
okay?
102
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:06,158
- Mm--ahh!
103
00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:08,124
- We'll talk later.
104
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:10,294
- [sighs]
Tsk, tsk.
105
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,503
- Wake it up!
Come on!
106
00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,093
Hell to Beans, over!
107
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:14,458
- I'm okay.
- Good.
108
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,464
Can you have Gloria send a guy
to fix the bathroom?
109
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:18,216
Somebody took such a dump,
110
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,178
it blew the door
off its hinges.
111
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,758
[upbeat music]
112
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,814
- Tell me why you're here,
Regina.
113
00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:27,308
- Every time
I try to hurt someone,
114
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,480
they say,
"Regina, you need help."
115
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:32,269
Then nobody will let me
kill them for saying that.
116
00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:36,283
So today I will
open myself up to you.
117
00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:38,147
With words.
Not, you know...
118
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:40,164
[rasping]
119
00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:42,986
- Fascinating, but I meant,
"What's wrong?"
120
00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:45,163
- Oh. I am alone!
121
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:47,121
First, my sisters condemn me.
122
00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:51,882
Then Devil admonished me
before a lowly bureaucrat.
123
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:53,246
- Go on.
124
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:57,133
- When I married Devil,
I thought I could change him.
125
00:04:57,172 --> 00:05:01,472
He wanted hell to be fun.
I wanted torture and screaming.
126
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,009
A tale as old as time.
127
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:05,263
- And you've realized
you can't change him, I see.
128
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:08,305
Tell me about your penis.
129
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,190
- Penis?
I don't have a penis.
130
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:11,346
- You don't?
131
00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:13,444
Let's talk
about your mother.
132
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,520
- I am of the First Host.
I have no mother.
133
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:17,856
- Then I'm sorry,
134
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:20,901
you're giving me nothing
to work with!
135
00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,275
[glass shatters]
- [screeches]
136
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,412
- I've heard having a hobby
can relieve stress.
137
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,040
Go to this address.
138
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,947
It may be what you're
looking for.
139
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:31,537
[door creaks]
140
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:32,831
- No penis?
[door slams]
141
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,924
Whoever heard of such a thing?
142
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,470
- I don't get it.
143
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:46,554
[edgy music playing]
144
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:51,056
- [moaning, grunting]
145
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:52,311
[slapping]
146
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,602
- Ohh...
147
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:55,015
- I get it!
148
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:58,903
This is like Disneyland,
but for normal people.
149
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,072
Ah, Jezebeth!
150
00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:03,820
I knew your bubble bath routine
was a lie!
151
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,913
- Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm just
getting out some aggression.
152
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:08,279
I can only handle
so many PTA bake sales
153
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:09,786
before I need to hurt somebody.
154
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:11,908
I can't swallow one more
gluten-free brownie!
155
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:13,535
[whip cracks]
- [groaning]
156
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:17,131
- [breathes deeply]
157
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,418
Regina, you will love this.
158
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:20,341
* *
159
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,590
[whip cracks]
- [groaning]
160
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:24,131
- Ah, yes!
Oh, yes.
161
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:27,545
You will learn your place
with a lesson in pain.
162
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,925
Mm. [laughing]
- [gasps] So good!
163
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,983
- What?
- Please torture me, Mama.
164
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,348
I deserve it!
165
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,404
- You're not
supposed to like it!
166
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:39,519
- Blargh!
- Regina!
167
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:40,896
Oh, we better go.
168
00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:43,862
- This is playpen for weak men!
169
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:47,033
It's exactly like Disneyland.
170
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:48,323
- Uh, little help?
171
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,866
"Blargh" was my safe word.
172
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,785
- So Hell still has
some horrors after all.
173
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,462
- Why don't you stop talking
and put that mouth to good use?
174
00:06:58,501 --> 00:06:59,671
- [gasps]
175
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:03,171
Is that a bottle
of Leviathan's spinal fluid?
176
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,134
Devil banned this!
177
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:07,545
- I've been saving it
for a special occasion.
178
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,354
I opened it for you instead.
179
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:11,307
both: Lehayim!
[glasses clink]
180
00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:15,438
[screeching, grunting]
181
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:17,477
- Mmm, lemony.
182
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,690
- [hiccups]
183
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:23,742
- You kept
your foreskin trophies?
184
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,947
Ugh.
I never liked those.
185
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:28,487
- Well, they're not for you.
[both laughing]
186
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:31,241
[screeching, grunting]
187
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:33,911
- And you kept
your fire crystals.
188
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,623
- No, that's my new business.
189
00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:36,713
Crystal healing.
190
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,628
Quartz, amethyst.
191
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,497
Positive energy flows in.
192
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,343
Negative energy flows out.
193
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:43,839
Humans can't get enough.
194
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,130
[both laughing]
- They are so stupid.
195
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,385
[screeching, grunting]
196
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:53,391
- Look; you're not the only one
who saved a little something.
197
00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:55,271
- A gateway necklace?
198
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,768
- Let's go to Earth,
199
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,850
destroy the wills of men
like we were meant to.
200
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,106
Deep down, I know you like it.
201
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:05,488
- Well, maybe it's
the spinal fluid talking,
202
00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:07,647
but I'm in!
203
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:08,906
Can we stop at Body Works?
204
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:10,817
- No!
[whirring]
205
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:16,753
[both moaning]
206
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,542
- [groans]
207
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:21,251
[both laughing]
208
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:22,252
- It's natural!
209
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:23,883
- No, it's not.
210
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,840
This only happens to you.
211
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,880
For shame!
- [gasps] Ah!
212
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,184
I'm gonna have emotional
issues about this
213
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:31,718
for the rest of my life!
214
00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:33,561
- And erectile dysfunction.
[laughing]
215
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:36,096
Don't forget
the erectile dysfunction.
216
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:39,481
[both laughing]
217
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,099
[whirring]
218
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,823
- Wake up, lover.
219
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,569
- Huh? Who are you?
220
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:50,570
- Harold, you old,
cheating bastard!
221
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:53,243
- [cackling]
- I want a divorce.
222
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,083
- You're 93.
223
00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:58,118
You want to spend the last
month of your life alone?
224
00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:01,543
- My goiter has more integrity
than you!
225
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:02,833
[both laughing]
226
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,456
- This is small potatoes.
227
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,422
Let's have some real fun.
228
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:07,383
[whirring]
229
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:10,340
- I can't compete
with your goiter.
230
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,013
You know that.
231
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,932
[whirring]
232
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:18,061
- Oh, Crimea...
let me stroke your peninsula.
233
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:20,309
Mm...
234
00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:22,062
- Vladimir.
235
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:24,273
Vladimir...
236
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,324
- Ugh! Who are you?
237
00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:29,648
- Putin with the big...
[hiccups] Missiles.
238
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:32,784
Launch a missile for me, Putin?
239
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,822
- Blegh.
Who's his decorator?
240
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,736
A menstrual cycle?
241
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,535
- Shh, I'm seducing him.
242
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,329
Make a world war for me, Putie.
243
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,632
- Make him organize his closet.
244
00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:47,549
The fuck hangs a suit
on a wire hanger?
245
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,707
- Beth!
Act like a succubus!
246
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,966
* *
247
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,968
[retches]
- Okay.
248
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,721
This was a mistake.
249
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,643
[whirring]
250
00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:00,312
- Everybody freeze!
251
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,020
- You're fired.
252
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,480
- Nuts.
253
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,480
[siren wails in distance]
254
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:06,732
- Ugh.
255
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:10,153
I don't even know
who I am anymore.
256
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,323
- Yes! Yes!
257
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,661
Unauthorized travel to Earth
is forbidden!
258
00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:16,157
Final energy surge
was pinpointed here,
259
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:19,369
and, well, something
needs to be done about her.
260
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:22,577
- You're right.
261
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:25,002
This has gone far enough.
262
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:28,166
- Ah! Sir?
263
00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:30,421
- I have been
a real shit to her!
264
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,803
- Ahh!
[screams]
265
00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:35,681
- I've been ignoring her needs!
266
00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:37,009
- Why?
267
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:38,893
- I should be supporting her
268
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:42,430
and punishing anyone
who disrespects her!
269
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,845
Right?
- Yes! No!
270
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:46,523
I mean, yes!
But, um--ahh!
271
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,363
* *
272
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:50,978
- My hellfire rages anew!
273
00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:52,026
- Ahh!
It hurts, it hurts!
274
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:53,858
- Burn, baby, burn!
275
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:56,573
- I will try
to follow your plan,
276
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:59,834
but I cannot surrender
who I am.
277
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:02,248
- I love who you are.
- [screaming]
278
00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,407
It burns, it burns,
it burns!
279
00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:05,536
Ahh!
280
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:06,792
[both moaning softly]
281
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,543
- [clears throat]
May I go now?
282
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,046
[moaning, slurping]
283
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:13,377
Glad to be part
of the team.
284
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:14,383
* *
285
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:15,474
- Hey God.
286
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,548
A wise man once said,
287
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:17,803
"Bitches be cray,"
288
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:20,514
but I think men
are just as cray
289
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,925
when they say,
"Bitches be cray."
290
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:25,394
Am I using "cray" correctly?
291
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,095
Please advise.
292
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:28,395
[whip cracks]
- Ow!
293
00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:30,268
- [laughing]
- I'd rather not be doing this.
294
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:33,685
- Yes, object to this activity!
295
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,275
Object to it!
296
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,650
- I do object!
19638
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