All language subtitles for A.Mindful.Choice.2016.WEBRip.x264-ION10

>> I remember one day realizingsomething that shocked me.

I would wake up in the morning,and I'd have quiet time

before I went to work.

And I'd be drinking coffeeand reading the newspaper,

and I wasn't there.

Where was I?

I was at work.

I was in fictitiousmeetings that, by the way,

never happened.

And my boss would
ask me a question,

and I'd come up with
a brilliant answer.

And I would play
this out in my mind,

because I was thinking aboutthe past and the future.

And I realized the vast
majority of my day,

my body would be right here,my life would be right here,

and I was here, or I was here.

It was like a
light bulb went on.

[music playing]

In some part of your lifetime,there's a point where you say,

there has to be more
to life than what

I'm experiencing here.

And that's the very momentyou start to look for more.

The reason you're in this bodyis to experience that ongoing--

that underlying reality
of everything you.

Not to think about it,
not to read about it,

but to actually move intoa direct experience of it.

It's the same thing with
peace and stillness.

Taste it, experience it, stopgrinding and thinking on it.

You can think about it, thinkabout it, think about it,

and then you're going to die.

Or you can say, how
do I bathe in peace

and absolute pristine
stillness forever.

How do I do that?

And how do I do it soon?

That's your choice.

[music playing]

>> It wasn't far
from here, actually,

quite a few years ago that Iwas skiing with a bunch of mates

back country.

It was a beautiful day.

We were skiing down a slope.

It was just the[? serendest ?] explosion.

We got caught in an avalanche,and next thing, I'm under.

The surprising thing was
that when I went under,

I just had thisoverwhelming sense of peace.

I was aware that I was underthe snow, that I was trapped.

I couldn't breathe.

My legs couldn't move.

My arms couldn't move.

But there was
absolutely no panic.

It was like this awarenessof this endless ocean

of peace and stillness.

God knows how long I was inthere for, but at some point,

I was thrust out, as
if I was on the leading

edge of this avalanche.

And it was then that
the panic kicked in,

because I was just tryingto suck as much oxygen

in as I could, you know?

The fear that I'd go
back and the possibility

that I could die just--

that really cranked
up the panic.

And I went back under.

And after a short time,
I was thrust out again.

And the avalanche come
to an abrupt halt.

When I got out, fortunately,everyone else was out as well.

When we regrouped, I
thought, man, you know,

that was an amazing experienceof extended silence and peace.

If I could experience
that under the snow,

surely I could have it
in my day to day life.

Then I thought, the
only way, I think,

practically I can even do thisis to make a lot of money,

make it quickly, retireearly, and head to a beach.

I made a choice.

So I did.

I cranked it up.

I was already in business, butI moved it up to the next level.

But what I actually
found was that I

was moving further away
from what I was after.

I started to experience moreworry, more stress, more

frustration.

I developed a habit
of insomnia at night.

I looked in the mirror
and just was like, mate,

what are you doing.

You look so unhappy.

And I thought, I've
got to change this.

I've got to change my
paradigm, if you like.

But life just keptthrowing big things at me.

My wife and I separated.

Not that much later,
I was diagnosed

with a tumor inside
my head that required

six weeks of radiotherapy.

And there was just anongoing series of events,

as if they were
trying to wake me up.

Sort of get on with it,
get on with the job.

>> [non-english speech]

[music playing]

>> I was 15.

Up until that moment, I didn'tknow that another kind of life

or another kind of realityexisted, because I was coming

from a beautiful love bubble.

My dad, my friends--

I mean, it was beautiful.

I was just about to
go to high school

with some friends thatstayed overnight in my house.

A few guys with guns
came into my house

and tried to kidnap me.

I was able to run away
and I was able to hide

from the kidnappers.

And in the middle of that,my dad, also the gardener,

and my grandfather
tried to defend me.

There was shooting and,
of course, killing.

I was able to seeeverything from the distance

and from the window.

And I just heard like
in the background

a truck like spinning the wheel,like [makes noise], you know?

So I just ran back to theplace that all the fighting

was happening.

I saw the gardener gone.

It was an impactful
experience when

you see that the body is there,but there's no one there.

And then I saw my dad in
the stairs still moving.

He was still alive.

But he was unable totalk, because the bullets

went through those lungs.

When I look into
his eyes-- well,

that was one of the mostamazing experience I ever had.

He just-- so much depth, wisdom,love, service, giving, purpose.

It was strange in themiddle of so much darkness.

It was like he was telling me alot of things through the eyes.

It was like a mental connection.

I could hear everything, like--

everything.

And then, suddenly
he died in my arm.

The feeling of purpose, thefeeling of destiny, the feeling

of love, the feeling of
consciousness, really--

I mean, that was even a
million times stronger

than the experience of death.

That was more shocking,because I was like, how come--

how come I can see thispotential love, or destiny,

or divine destiny,
actually-- like

I just put that word-- thedivine destiny be stronger

than the passing
away of a loved one.

And that just stuck me
in my head all my life.

It's like, what's that.

>> [non-english speech]

>> There's a place within us--this still, silent place--

which never comes and goes.

It's permanent.

And you can call that god,you can call that light,

you can call that truth, you cancall it the underlying reality

of everything.

But there's one
thing that exists.

And to move into that as anexperience from a concept,

you need to dissolve a senseof an individual intelligence,

an individual me, through justbathing in this sea of silence

that's within us.

The sea of peace and
the sea of silence,

it's been there forever.

Some of us know it orhave known it as a child.

We've been able to touch thatplace, and it felt like home.

It's always been.

And in fact, it's the onlything in our existence

that's always been there.

[music playing]

It was the late '80s,
start of the '90s.

And it was the big upsurge ofthe ecstasy nation in the UK.

There was raves everywhere.

It was the generation
thing to do.

Almost everybody was into it.

Yeah.

Using the drugs, thepartying, the whole experience

of that time in my life
was giving everybody

this sense of connection.

Everybody seemed to dropall of their judgments, all

of their differences.

It was amazing.

It was so much different
to being just drunk.

The whole movement,
the whole generation,

was just into dancing andjust loving each other.

It went kind of off the
rails, you could say.

I ended up getting into alot of trouble with the law

and looking at a rather
large prison sentence.

My dad came to see me
while I was on remand.

He said, are you due to get out.

And I said, no.

And he said, good.

He said, it's the best
place you could be.

He was absolutely--
he was over the moon

that as bad as it could
have looked for me,

I wasn't going to die.

The wake up call for me
from that way of life

was when I was about
25, I'd had a son.

And so I decided that that wayof life wasn't going to work,

because I understood
the responsibilities

of raising a child.

I quit everything, and Idecided to work full time

and get back into a normal
life, as far as what

I could remember one was.

But it never really
seemed enough for me.

It felt like a poor excusefor being very happy.

I decided that I really
needed to experience

that fullness,
that connectedness,

that same experience.

But I knew I couldn't
do it through drugs.

So I looked into the successof rehabilitation and therapy.

And it turned out that therehabilitation unit I was in

had been going
for like 10 years.

And the success rate
was 2% of all the people

who came through.

What I found amazing wasthe statistics the people

who don't bother going throughrehabilitation-- for them who

do it are 2%.

What became really apparentwas that the change only

happens at the point when youare sick enough of the behavior

that you're doing which iscausing you the problems.

I didn't know how I
was going to do it,

but that choice in and ofitself made so many other things

available to me.

It just immediately changed mywhole take on my whole life.

[music playing]

Got a good woman for mysoul, got whiskey for my sin.

Pray I got both when I leavethis bar in a car or a coffin.

And I'll ride this road
'til it takes me home.

Or I'll ride this
dirty road 'til I die.

>> In Mexico, teachers like[? modavi ?] are introducing

a new phase of rehabilitationteaching ascension in prisons

to those who are ready
to embrace change.

[music playing]

There ain't one
way to sing a song.

>> And the cool thing is that25% of the people in this

facility, which housesjust under 2,000 prisoners,

meditate.

>> [non-english speech]

>> It's something that's notbeen done very often around

the world.

So we appreciate your opennessto introduce this program

into the prison.

[music playing]

My feet are worn,
my lungs are hard,

and my heart's as cold as steel.

>> [non-english speech]

>> After my dad died, starteddrinking, drugs all day,

every day, for months, andmonths, and years non-stop.

And I was looking
for the experience

I experienced when my dad died.

And nothing gave
me that-- nothing.

So I would just keep on looking.

Where is that?

Where is that?

Where is that?

And I remember once
I was in my house,

alone in my father's bedroom.

And I remember just crying.

I couldn't handle it anymore.

A friend of my
called me, and she's

like, Maghava, there's somemeditation course this weekend.

Why don't you come with us?

And I'm like, OK, I'll go.

There's nothing to lose.

When I arrived, I
saw the teachers.

And their presence-- theyhad something that I never

experienced before.

Suddenly, they started toexplain the meditation--

[inaudible]

And I'm like, what's this.

And my heart's just like
[makes beating noise]..

And soon as they started
to explain the game,

everything started to becomereally clear within myself.

I just knew that I found
what I was looking for.

Immediately I
started to experience

clear silence, awareness.

As soon as I started to playwith what the teachers were

telling me, I knew I needed toactually let go of the seeking.

I actually needed to let goof that idea of searching.

That's worth everything.

There's a lot of ideas
about spiritual journeys

or meditation.

One is like, let's
put the mind in black

or have no thoughts--
have no emotion.

And that's not true.

We are not going against whatthe natural flows of life are.

There are emotions.

Of course there is emotions.

But I'm not [? calling ?] them.

I don't make a
story around them.

I don't make them personal.

I just watch them back.

The same as thoughts.

They don't take
all my attention.

They are just part of
the whole experience.

Then, of course, if
I live like that,

automatically there's peace--

automatically.

[music playing]

>> I remember when Ifirst learned to meditate,

the realization of
what I'd been doing--

I was quite shocked,
because, actually,

the point at which I
learned to meditate,

I was grinding my teeth--breaking teeth at night.

I never woke up
feeling refreshed.

I was exhausted.

Two relatively young
children, trying

to be the perfect mother,the perfect housewife,

the perfect neighbor,
the perfect teacher,

the perfect
everything, you know?

And I used to describe
the experience

as meeting myself coming back.

You know, going round in
ever decreasing circles.

I was exhausted.

Once I heard the explanationand the background

for what meditation
is-- because,

really, this is the areathat meditation addresses.

We're living all the
time in the past.

I recognized how many timesI rehashed conversations

with people to try
and get it right.

It's like madness, isn't it?

For the last 12, 13
years, I've had cancer.

It started as breast cancer.

Now I've had treatment.

It's slowly developed.

And I now have secondariesin the liver and in my spine.

And yet, thanks very much tothe meditation skills that

I've learned, just beingable to accept everything--

even something as extremeand challenging as that--

has enabled me just to befully present now and back

to this moment again and again.

Really, it's a verysimple thing, meditation.

It just allows you to live openand allowing in this moment.

That has been
absolutely key to my

being able to live joyfullyand peacefully no matter

what's happening to the body.

You know, my body's goingto do what it's going to do.

I can take a lot of actions, alot of strategies to assist it.

But ultimately,
I'm not in control.

And a lot of what we callstress is because we think

we're in control, and we thinkwe know what's going to happen,

and it doesn't.

And we find that distressing,or frustrating, or annoying,

or painful, or whatever,because we're resisting what is.

[music playing]

The judgment day shall come.

>> Slowly but surely I wasstarting to experience a bit

of respite from the stress.

I worked less.

I actually developed
a new relationship.

And I found I recreated the samedynamic I had in my marriage,

where I was just so judgmentalthe relationship failed.

And I was overwhelmed witha sense of loss, you know?

Bitching and moaning
all the way through it.

But once she's gone, the
whiny voice in my head

couldn't deal with it.

I got to see that I need someway to let go of that judgment

and let people be who
they are, rather than me

trying to control or want themto be something different.

That was the major catalyst forme to commit to myself 100%--

just to go for that piece,go for their internal love.

I had to establish
that before I was

able to get close to havinga relationship again.

>> I was stressed.

I always seemed to be inthis fight or flight mode,

looking for the next
thing to go wrong,

trying to control
everything in my life.

And I didn't want
to do it anymore.

But I didn't know
what to do, really.

The great thing, too,about going out with Greg

was that that showed
me how dysfunctional I

was in a relationship.

And I wanted that to change.

Like, I did.

I saw that I was
very close to love.

I was very afraid of love.

I suppose my little subconsciousmantra was that love hurts.

Don't let someone
get too close to you,

because you might lose
them or it'll just

hurt if they reject you.

And I got to understand thatthat came from my brother

dying when I was
9 or 10 years old.

And that one minute,
I'm this happy kid

who's living in a kind
of a fantasy world,

still feeling thatconnection to everything,

and then suddenly, it was likelife was turned upside down.

Like, whoa, your
life isn't safe.

[music playing]

>> If, for example, you couldthink about real wonderful

moment in your life,
do you remember it?

Do you remember how
little self-absorption

there was in that moment?

Do you remember how
perfectly it unfolded?

That even in
retrospect, everything

played out in the
most wonderful moment

in the most miraculous
kind of way.

That there was nothing aboutthe moment we would change.

It was ideal.

We very often weren't evenresponsible for the moment.

We were just able to
experience the moment.

We were present for theunfoldment of that moment.

And do you remember how
alive that moment was?

How alive you felt
in that moment?

And I will suggest
to you that moment

was the most alive
moment of your life.

And I will say to you,
with the exception

of the intensity of your
most wonderful moment,

you're meant to live
that kind of life--

that alive, with just
an absolute sense

of wonder and awe.

That is your right to livethat kind of life continuously.

And we don't.

We just forgot.

[music playing]

>> Every weekend, we hear thissort of crazy variety from

American dance band, torock and roll, to mariachi.

I was a seeker from the time Iwas a young girl-- very young.

I learned how to meditate
when I was in college

and really had my first
tastes of stillness--

had my first taste ofthe voices quieting down.

And of course, once that
happens, you want more.

And the way most of us
got more during that era

was to smoke, or
take psychedelics,

or anything that we could doto duplicate that experience.

Occasionally, I felt
like I got lucky.

It was grace.

But in terms of having thatstillness permeate my life,

that wasn't happening.

I knew it was
there, but it always

seemed just out of reach.

We came to San Miguel,and I couldn't believe it.

I was given a tool that
allowed me to sustain

that state with no drugs.

And it happened
very, very quickly,

which was the unexpected part.

You know, I thought I wasgoing to kind of get back

into the drudgery of meditationand have some support

to do that.

But all of a sudden,
it was accessible.

And the thing that really wasdifferent with this particular

practice was that
it was something

that I could do with my eyesopen as well as my eyes closed.

It had a huge effect
on me creatively,

because it was hit and
miss when I was working,

when I was writing.

Sometimes I'd be
listening to the voices

in my head, which isnever a good thing to do.

The voices in my head--

I don't think the voices
in any of our heads

are ever saying kind things.

They're always saying
really mean things.

I once said to somebody, ifI sat in a restaurant next

to a couple who were talkingto each other the way

my mind talks to me, I wouldget up and leave the restaurant.

When you're creating, youwant to be in that flow.

That's the whole goal.

That's why you do it,
because that's the rush.

That's the fun.

But the minute those voicesstart, they just pull you out.

So all of a sudden, here I was.

I had a tool that allowedme to return to that flow

so that I could look at the pageafter I'd been working and go,

wow.

Where did that come from?

What a surprise.

That is so amazing.

And know with every inch ofmy being that I didn't do it.

And that is-- that's gold.

That is just gold.

The practice allowed me toreturn to the state, which

is only presence.

I mean, it's not what
I thought, especially

after so many years of beliefpractice on top of belief

on top of belief.

I was waiting for Thus
Spake Zarathustra.

I was waiting for John PhilipSousa and fireworks in the sky.

And it wasn't about that.

It was just about being sofully present that I was here.

It changed everything.

It had a huge effect on
every aspect of my life.

[music playing]

>> He says, watch your back.

You'll get lost out there.

There's a million ways to go.

And we don't know
our way back home.

>> I've definitely seen acore belief that relates

to addiction.

And it is definitely
being the core belief

that I am not good enough.

[music playing]

>> --alone.

And we don't know
our way back home.

>> The differences in
my life now are just--

they're just amazing.

And it's funny, because Idon't feel that far away

from who I actually was.

I just feel the only
problem there ever

was was that non-acceptancethat I am not good enough.

And yet, to step out
and make the decision

to go and actually
make the new choice

and to gain some awarenesson who you are, why you are,

what you are is priceless.

My son is 20 now.

And yeah, he's an amazing guy.

We have an amazing relationship.

We're just the best of friends.

He's had choices to go
out with his friends,

he's had choices
to take drugs, he's

had choices to do all thethings that all kids do.

And I've never taken any ofthose choices away from him.

So his general state
of natural peace

has never really
been questioned.

And so yeah, he
makes good choices.

We have a very
cool relationship.

Yeah.

[music playing]

>> And he says watch your back,you'll get lost out there.

There's a million ways to go.

And we don't know
our way back home.

Cool.

>> Another very key thing,particularly with critical life

diagnoses, is that you
face your mortality,

maybe for the first time.

It does become very obviousthat our well-being is created

very much by what we
put our attention on

and that we have choice.

It's empowering.

It's exciting.

And I can choose what
I put my attention on.

And that's not about denial.

I will do what my
body says it needs.

That may be going to bed.

It may be going
to have a massage.

It may be going back
to the consultant.

I mean, who knows, you know?

It's not about denial.

But it's about knowingthat there's so much more.

What's going to happen
is going to happen.

And there's a ease and afluidity with just accepting

everything.

Once you recognize that youwant something more, it comes.

It just comes.

I really do believe that.

>> [non-english speech]

>> An authentic path,
of which there are very,

very few in the world, arethose that lead, ultimately,

to oneness, to an unbrokenawareness of silence,

which is the gateway
to enlightenment--

the gateway to freedom.

I was one of those
guys who said,

I don't have time to heal me.

You know, there's a worldthat's in a dilemma here.

Let's get on with
helping others.

Let's heal the world.

And unfortunately, it
doesn't work that way.

You know, you have to do
the inner work yourself.

And it basically comes
down to two paths.

One path is a path of comfort.

And it's the path that
most humans are on.

And it's a path that, ifyou're looking at a mountain

and climbing to the top of themountain to experience oneness,

it's a windy path
up this mountain.

And it just keeps going,
and going, and going.

It's not that it's a bad path.

It's just a very long path.

There's another path.

And it's like walking straightup the side of Mount Everest.

And it's the path-- it'scalled the path of the sages

in some traditions.

It's also known as
the path of heroes.

It's the path that
says, I'm willing to do

whatever it takes to wake up.

I'm willing to do
whatever it takes.

Let's do it.

Let's bring it on.

I want to experience everything.

I want to experience
wholeness, completeness.

The path of comfort, ironically,it's not a comfortable path.

It is the funniest thing.

It's called the path of comfort,not because it's comfortable,

because most of
humanity's on it,

and they're not comfortable.

It's called the path ofcomfort because the decisions

we make on that
path are decisions

that we're comfortable with.

They don't push us.

They don't stretch us.

And so it's a comfortablepath, but there's

no growth in that path.

That's why the
growth is so slow.

There's a point
where you say, there

has to be more to life thanwhat I'm experiencing here.

And that's the very momentthat you're very blessed,

because you start
to look for more.

And when you do, very quickly ifyou have passion towards that,

you start to move towardsthe path of heroes.

Amazing.

Thanks.

>> I had the
opportunity to teach--

I don't know-- 200 prisoners.

And the first thing that cameout of my mouth was, what will

you even listen to
[? on ?] a 22-year-old?

And everybody was
like, yeah, actually.

Why?

And the first thing
that came to my mouth

was, probably, because
one of the person that

actually tried to kidnap andkilled my dad probably is--

might be sitting
here in this room.

And everybody just like--

not easy.

And they pay attention.

And I share with them
what I went through,

what have I discover,
and why am I

doing what I'm doing right nowto help people to find peace,

no matter the background.

When I think about my
dad and that experience,

the greatest gift
that experience

gave me was to
look for something

that would give me peace.

And probably now I feel my dadcloser than when I was a kid

and I was unconscious.

It's tricky to say, becauseI don't experience my dad

as a human being with
a body, with a mind,

with a personality.

I experience my dad everywhereall the time, as love,

as presence.

In many, many locations.

>> As improbable as it wasthat I was going to find peace,

I was in a cafe, and there wasa brochure on the wall that was

promoting a meditation course.

And the brochure
said, ascension as

taught by the Ishayas
of the bright path.

And I thought, mate, whatthe hell is this, you know?

It's wacky.

But what they weresaying resonated with me.

It resonated with me
with the experience

I had had in the avalanche.

And it also-- itresonated with me, which--

that I realized I needed to findthat peace and love within me.

The first thing they
asked was, what's

the one thing you want more thanabsolutely anything in life.

No one had ever asked me thatquestion, but it was obvious.

I wanted peace.

I wanted unbroken peace.

I wanted to experience love--

love within myself
and the ability

to love someone else
unconditionally.

And I wanted to be happy.

Not just moments of happiness,but I wanted it all the time.

And the surprising
thing for me was

that all the other participantswanted exactly the same thing.

The beautiful thing was that allthe negative aspects of my life

fell away.

I was sleeping much better.

My frustration and my stressfell away very quickly.

And I was able to use thesetechniques with my eyes open.

I'd been given a
tool that allowed

me to disengage the chatterin my head and reveal peace.

And I knew that I was
onto the right thing.

>> Greg suggested I learnsome meditation techniques.

Meditation wasn't
something I did.

I thought it was for
hippies and not for me.

And I thought, well, I have--there's nothing to lose.

I might as well go alongand see what this is about.

What I found was
that I'd been looking

for all those wonderful thingsin life in the wrong places.

You know, the person I'mwith should make me happy.

My job should make me happy.

You know, I didn't take anyownership for my own happiness.

And once I started to dothat and use these techniques

to rest inward, that's
where I found that it

started to reveal the real me.

You know, and the realme was happy, was joyous,

was free to live fully.

The purpose of us
making this documentary

is to show people that peaceis possible and very much

to show them that it's
a personal choice.

If peace is possible
for the individual,

then we want to show thatit is possible for a group.

And if that's
possible, then it could

be possible for countries.

It could be possible
for humanity as a whole.

>> There are two
institutions in town.

We started about 20
years ago with the idea

of provide boys between the agesix, seven to 21, 22 years old

a possibility of becomingsomebody in life-- to provide

them with a future.

They have families, of course--all of them or most of them.

But in all cases, they haveeither a father in jail,

they have a mother with
prostitution problems,

with addiction
problems, you name it.

And the idea is
instead of having

these kids in the streets,to provide them with a home--

a place for them to
stay, a place where

they can be safe, where
they can attend school,

to give this kids a chance ofbeing somebody in the future.

>> [non-english speech]

>> Thank you for thewelcome that you gave us.

>> [non-english speech]

>> And the wonderful
shirts, we love them.

>> [non-english speech]

>> So it's good we've
got three tables,

because we have three balls.

Can you find New Zealand?

>> It's the other
side of the world.

>> Since we startmeditating with the kids,

the violence has been reduced.

They also have differentways to fix their problems.

They are more in peace.

We can feel it.

So we have a different way totalk, a different way to play,

a different way to doall the things we do here

in every moment.

>> [non-english speech]

>> All the people who
comes here tells me,

here we can feel peace.

We can feel happiness.

And that's the most
beautiful thing

I have received from meditation.

We want to give them
all the opportunities

to be empowered with
love, with compassion.

This will make a
change in their lives.

And that's the great
power they will have,

because nobody can
take it from them.

>> [non-english speech]

>> It's been a really powerfuland uplifting day for us.

Got to meditate
with 200 inmates.

It's more people thanI've ever meditated with.

And the stillness and the
peace in that facility

was palpable as a consequence.

[music playing]

>> The fascinating thing is thateveryone on the planet wants

exactly the same thing.

We all want to experienceunbroken peace, inner peace,

contentment, and happiness, yetwe seldom make it a priority.

And I say to people who arenot interested in learning

to meditate, just spend moretime doing what you love doing,

because the things we love doingreveal peace and contentment.

All that's required
is to make a choice.

[music playing]