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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,968 --> 00:00:02,668 You're watching The Simpsons. 2 00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:05,370 You know your life sucks. Just get drunk like you always do. 3 00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:06,973 Catch all-new episodes Sundays. 4 00:00:06,974 --> 00:00:08,814 And check out our other Fox programs, 5 00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:11,609 Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Bob's Burgers and Family Guy. 6 00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:14,512 What is this, and how can I make the rest of my life about it? 7 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,745 Only on Fox. 8 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:21,090 (squawking) 9 00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,095 (exclaiming) 10 00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,468 (school bell ringing) 11 00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:40,243 (Barney belches) 12 00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:44,344 D'oh! 13 00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:45,335 (tires screeching) 14 00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:47,076 (grunts) 15 00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:51,323 Hmm. Hmm. 16 00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:53,488 (grunting) 17 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:54,547 (chuckles) 18 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:55,545 Mm. 19 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:56,616 Hmm. 20 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:06,229 ANNOUNCER: Welcome... 21 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:09,033 to The Vulture's Nest. 22 00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:12,436 ♪ ♪ 23 00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:17,412 (whip cracking) 24 00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:24,216 The Vulture's Nest... 25 00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:25,348 (air hissing) 26 00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:26,422 ...where billionaire investors 27 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,050 swoop down 28 00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:29,085 on your business proposals 29 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:30,790 and peck out the eyes. 30 00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:32,121 (lock clicking) 31 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:37,261 (squawking) 32 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,795 Uh, hello, vultures. (chuckles nervously) 33 00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:45,444 Okay, um... 34 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:46,909 Forget it. I'm out. 35 00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:47,937 Uh, vultures, 36 00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,712 almost every kid wears a retainer, 37 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,380 and that is not cool. 38 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,579 But this retainer 39 00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:54,811 is a de-lamer. 40 00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:55,945 As it turns 41 00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:58,450 this grill from blah... 42 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,152 to bling. (grunts) 43 00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:01,724 Hmm. Ooh. Oh... 44 00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:05,422 Now that's a Milhouse I'd marry. 45 00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:07,926 Kirk, when I started digging for oil, 46 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,628 I came up dry for 12 years. 47 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:13,171 Then I had my yee-haw moment 48 00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:16,267 and realized I needed to drill in Texas 49 00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:18,640 instead of my home state of New Hampshire. 50 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:19,639 Well, 51 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,770 I'm very interested. 52 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,174 I'll offer you three hours 53 00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:24,736 of my precious time for 90% of your company. 54 00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,175 Too late. 95%. 55 00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:28,350 We're not gonna do any better than that. 56 00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:30,079 I don't know, Dad. 57 00:02:30,084 --> 00:02:31,524 Of course you don't know. 58 00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:32,519 You're just a kid. 59 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,020 I may be a kid, but this was my idea. 60 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:35,021 KIRK: Hey! 61 00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:37,022 You need a ride home, don't you? 62 00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:38,524 We've heard enough. 63 00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:40,386 Thank you for the opportunity. 64 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,195 (laughing) 65 00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:45,497 I love seeing people I know fail. 66 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,299 (laughing): Do you want a beer, son? 67 00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:49,501 (gasps) There's a stain. 68 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,943 Did that dumb dog pee on the rug? 69 00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:54,469 Dad, it's not fair to blame the dog. 70 00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:57,175 Blame the dumb animal who's supposed to walk him: 71 00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,308 Bart. 72 00:02:58,312 --> 00:02:59,812 I did walk him. 73 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:00,983 Didn't I, boy? 74 00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,311 (growling) Chewing your leg 75 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:03,676 is not a yes, I learned that 76 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:04,954 in a real estate deal. 77 00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:07,292 Oh, it wasn't the dog. 78 00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:08,788 I went on the rug. 79 00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:09,859 What? Huh? 80 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,017 Grampa, 81 00:03:11,025 --> 00:03:12,185 is everything all right? 82 00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:15,033 I'm 86 years old and I'm falling apart 83 00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:17,359 like toast in a dishwasher. 84 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,204 Oh, you poor man. 85 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,870 Sit down here and relax. 86 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,028 (groans) 87 00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:23,796 Geez, Dad, you really have lost a step. 88 00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,544 Can't you at least enjoy Shark Tank-- 89 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,139 I mean, Vulture's Nest? 90 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:29,405 (screaming) 91 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:31,510 Grampa, don't worry. 92 00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:34,082 We're paying the finest nursing home in town. 93 00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:35,411 They'll know what to do. 94 00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:37,876 We have no idea what to do. 95 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:39,545 We specialize in keeping seniors 96 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,153 from bothering their families, 97 00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:44,155 then gently releasing them just before death. 98 00:03:44,158 --> 00:03:45,688 God bless, Mr. Simpson. 99 00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:48,193 I've been paying you off and on for years, 100 00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:49,825 and there's no way you can help? 101 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,830 We do offer free transportation 102 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,102 to the next stage. 103 00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:54,100 (tires screeching) 104 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,371 (grunts) 105 00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:56,699 (tires screeching) 106 00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:58,544 (Homer sighing worriedly) 107 00:03:58,539 --> 00:03:59,869 Come on, Grampa. 108 00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:02,043 You're not staying on skid row. 109 00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,342 Yeah, that's shameful, 110 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:05,744 shoving poor old people out on the street. 111 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,046 This place is for the mentally ill. 112 00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,348 (yelling incoherently) 113 00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:11,080 Hey! What are you... 114 00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:13,315 Uh, get better! (chuckles) 115 00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:15,951 Well, we're not beaten yet. 116 00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:19,686 Grampa, you're a veteran of every branch of the service. 117 00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,733 The VA hospital will help. 118 00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,759 Aren't those hospitals the ones they called 119 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,604 "America's shame"? 120 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:28,729 A lot of things are America's shame, honey. 121 00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,296 (cats wailing) 122 00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:32,774 (Barney moaning) 123 00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:36,135 Mr. Simpson? 124 00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:37,143 Yes? 125 00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:39,384 Uh, this is just the waiting room. 126 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:40,650 Oh... 127 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,708 Well, don't worry, the veteran's administration 128 00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,546 will take care of this proud warrior. 129 00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:46,081 I can see him in five minutes. 130 00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,086 (Homer and Marge sigh with relief) 131 00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:48,647 23 years from now. 132 00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:50,890 (groaning) Hey, soldier. 133 00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:53,131 Are you looking for high quality health care 134 00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:54,227 at no cost? 135 00:04:54,228 --> 00:04:55,388 I know the place. 136 00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:57,226 Tell it to me in an anecdote. 137 00:04:57,231 --> 00:04:58,631 Years ago, 138 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,832 I saw action in the Bay of Pigs. 139 00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:03,999 Bay of Pigs, eh? 140 00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:05,774 (pigs snorting) 141 00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:07,773 (chomps) (pig squealing) 142 00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:10,505 Er, have you seen Marilyn Monroe? 143 00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,641 I'm asking, for, uh, for a friend. 144 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,006 Yes, a, uh... Er, uh... 145 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,914 ...a friend. Don't, uh, tell Ethel. 146 00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,346 Mmm. 147 00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:18,681 History. 148 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:21,416 Those Cuban doctors patched me up good, 149 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:23,192 and for a lot less. 150 00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,860 How much less? 151 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,758 Well, what costs $2,000 here 152 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,260 costs six bucks there. 153 00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:30,832 Hmm. (Cuban music playing) 154 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,666 Ah, Cuba sounds a little dangerous. 155 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,368 Why don't we try Canada? 156 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,700 I don't want to go there, 157 00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:40,305 now that that commie Trudeau is in charge. 158 00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:41,967 We're goin' to Cuba! 159 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,205 You got it, Dad. 160 00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,680 Nurse, cancel our appointment. 161 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:45,778 I'm sorry, there's a fee 162 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:48,349 if you don't cancel within 24 years. D'oh! 163 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,387 (horn blowing, bird screeching) 164 00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:57,219 D'oh! 165 00:05:57,224 --> 00:06:00,534 Grampa, can't you enjoy the Caribbean breeze? 166 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,987 Not while I suspect 167 00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:04,855 your father's gonna toss me off'n the boat. 168 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,865 Huh? Wh...? Hmm? 169 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,627 Ah-ah? Ah-ah? Hmm? 170 00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:10,495 No. We're not. 171 00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,374 And we'll have fun when we get there. 172 00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:14,413 We can have plantains. 173 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:17,338 They're like bananas you have to cook. Yum. 174 00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:20,154 Cooked bananas are too hard for me to chew. (bird screeching) 175 00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:21,347 D'oh! 176 00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:24,348 Well, don't forget Cuba's vibrant jazz scene. 177 00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:25,981 Lisa, thanks for the warning. 178 00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:29,346 Despite what she says, this trip will be fun. 179 00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:31,416 I am finally gonna put the Spanish I learned 180 00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:33,425 on I Love Lucy to use. 181 00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:37,097 (à la Ricky Ricardo): Oh, Loo-sey, you need to see a "fee-sa-kia-trist." 182 00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,357 Excuse me, sir. 183 00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:40,765 We are perfectly able to pronounce "psychiatrist." 184 00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,998 Now, please don't make me 'splain it to you again. 185 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,273 Come on, Rick. The girls are dressed up like men, 186 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,342 trying to get into the cigar store. 187 00:06:47,341 --> 00:06:49,211 So you know what we do, Fred? 188 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,909 We give them cigars. 189 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:54,081 (laughing): All the cigars they want. 190 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,351 (laughing): This will be good. 191 00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:59,120 I'll never understand why a bandleader 192 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,919 was such good friends with his landlord. 193 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,992 (Cuban music plays) 194 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:11,261 Now, there are 12 types of visits to Cuba 195 00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:12,625 that are legally permitted. 196 00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:14,103 U.S. business... Next. 197 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,431 professional research... 198 00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:16,766 I don't know what either of those words mean. 199 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,100 educational activities... 200 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,295 Those words I know and hate. 201 00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:20,536 family visit... 202 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,111 Is there a VIP entrance to this place? 203 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,239 religious activities... 204 00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:24,413 (laughing): God, no. 205 00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:26,381 public performances... Never. 206 00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:27,710 mistook us for Aruba... 207 00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:28,884 Is that that weird lettuce? 208 00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,082 here to smuggle cigars... 209 00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,223 You guys have cigars? 210 00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:32,378 fell off a fishing boat... 211 00:07:32,386 --> 00:07:33,446 Many times, not today. 212 00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:34,894 transmission of information... 213 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,118 Who wants to know? 214 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,663 really love Gloria Estefan... 215 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:38,788 Getting warmer. 216 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,492 and the last one is journalistic activity. 217 00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:42,725 I'm a journalist. 218 00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,759 I'm doing an article for my school paper. 219 00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,255 Here's one of my scoops. 220 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:47,266 Hmm. 221 00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:48,497 You're in. 222 00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,172 ♪ ♪ 223 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,600 Whoa, you can make money playing dominoes? 224 00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,906 Come on, Grampa, let's take these guys. 225 00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:56,478 I don't like dominoes. 226 00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:59,737 With my cataracts, everything's a six. 227 00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:02,246 (groans) 228 00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:04,149 What? 229 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,849 (sighs) 230 00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,285 Ooh! 231 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:12,459 We could go see Mariel Hemingway's grandfather's house. 232 00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:14,689 Hmm, apparently, he was a writer. 233 00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,655 Like Mindy Kaling. 234 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,433 Forget it, I'm done. 235 00:08:18,432 --> 00:08:22,002 Let me just take one last good look at my granddaughter 236 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,672 so she'll remember her granddad. 237 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:28,071 (grunting) 238 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,808 And love locks it in. 239 00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:36,724 Now, to just sit and wait for the end. 240 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:41,621 How could anyone be so glum in front of that sign? 241 00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:44,793 (sighs) 242 00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:46,021 ♪ ♪ 243 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,456 I am so sorry. 244 00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:49,361 There is, uh, nothing I can do. 245 00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:52,203 All I can offer is this, uh, festive shirt. 246 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,799 (groaning) 247 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,800 I don't like the way the birds are looking at me. 248 00:08:56,803 --> 00:08:58,643 Relax, viejo. 249 00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:00,709 Return the shirt after he, you know... 250 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,007 (whistles) 251 00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:02,839 (blows raspberry) 252 00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,183 (groans) We took an exotic island 253 00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:07,678 vacation for nothing. 254 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,851 Oh, my God! 255 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:13,020 Where have you been all these years? 256 00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,050 Now, this is a car! 257 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,085 Razor-sharp fins. 258 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,860 Little triangle windows that weren't good for nothing. 259 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:24,100 And a front seat you could fit all your newborn babies on. 260 00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,697 Would you care to go for a ride? 261 00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:26,869 (keys jingle) 262 00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:29,397 Car keys that don't go bloopity-bloop! 263 00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:30,873 I'm home! 264 00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:32,741 ("Chan Chan" by Buena Vista Social Club playing) 265 00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:40,510 (singing in Spanish) 266 00:09:40,514 --> 00:09:41,884 Oh! 267 00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,112 You, my friend, 268 00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,876 just had a "Cuba-gasm." 269 00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,015 (tires squeal) 270 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:48,119 Dad, let me help you out. 271 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,191 (laughing) 272 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:50,519 I don't need no help! 273 00:09:50,524 --> 00:09:51,964 (hums a tune) 274 00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:55,689 A lungful of leaded gas and I'm better than ever! 275 00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:56,796 (chuckles) 276 00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,427 Oh, thank you. 277 00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:01,732 You've taken my dad back to a simpler time 278 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:06,035 when our only worry was being obliterated by nuclear weapons. 279 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,539 It is the car. 280 00:10:07,541 --> 00:10:11,141 All our American cars were built before 1960. 281 00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:15,054 And studies show that exposure to objects from your youth 282 00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:17,048 can help you feel young again. 283 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,280 What studies? 284 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:19,615 Are they peer reviewed? 285 00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:20,790 You know what they are? 286 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:23,717 A professor, Ellen Langer, did a study 287 00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:27,164 where seniors exposed to culture from the '50s 288 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,330 became more vigorous and engaged. 289 00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:32,729 They even engaged in heavy petting. 290 00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,733 There's heavy petting? 291 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,300 Wow, that's the first time I've seen him 292 00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:42,466 get a woman's attention without flatlining. 293 00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:46,176 Now, here's one that's been in our family for years. 294 00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:48,249 (playing The Simpsons theme) 295 00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,792 Well, that saves us going to the beach. 296 00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:59,490 (hums a tune) 297 00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,493 Okay, 298 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,795 so let me get this straight. 299 00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:06,597 This paladar is a restaurant, 300 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,300 but it's in a home? 301 00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:09,501 That's right. 302 00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,603 So I don't have to do the dishes? 303 00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:12,965 You don't do the dishes at home. 304 00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:17,283 Never discuss family business in front of the Cubans. 305 00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:20,147 Homie, this place is so homey. 306 00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,007 Look, Grampa's eating like a horse. 307 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,445 So, you are enjoying the horse? 308 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:25,681 (gasps) 309 00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:27,146 (laughs): No, no, no. 310 00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:29,194 You are not eating a horse. 311 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,459 The baby is. 312 00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:33,087 (gasps) How many bites have you had? 313 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:38,857 Gracias. ¿Cómo estás tú? 314 00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,495 Bart, you're using informal Spanish 315 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,800 with someone who's not a family member. 316 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,403 Ay, caramba. 317 00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,844 Quiet, you kids. I'm watching Castro. 318 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,870 All the best world leaders have beards. 319 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,535 Him, Santa Claus. 320 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,384 And every time he says "collective farming," 321 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,709 I take a drink. 322 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:58,724 Recientemente, viajé a una granja colectiva. 323 00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:01,489 Gracias! (gulping) 324 00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:03,518 ♪ ♪ 325 00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:06,363 (laughs) Look at me, Jasper! 326 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:09,029 I'm eating a peanut! 327 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,059 Who's that guy? 328 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:11,403 Huh? Who knows? 329 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,868 But I'm sending him a picture of my junk. 330 00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:16,427 (shutter clicks) (laughs) 331 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:18,196 Ugh. Disgusting. 332 00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:20,365 300 extra pesos 333 00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:23,373 por la hermosa camarera. 334 00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:24,836 Yo no salgo con clientes. 335 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:30,519 Another El Presidente cocktail, Señor Abraham? 336 00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,747 I don't remember telling you my name. 337 00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:35,023 You did. In fact, you were so charming, 338 00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:37,021 I want to hook up later. 339 00:12:37,023 --> 00:12:39,923 Not for money but for nylons and chocolate. 340 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,726 (chuckles) Hey, Macarena! 341 00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:44,929 For me, that's a topical reference. 342 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:47,771 Why don't you let me buy this round, Abe? 343 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:50,768 Wheels McGrath?! I knew you in the Air Force! 344 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,201 I haven't seen you since you dropped that A-bomb 345 00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:54,766 off the forklift. 346 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:57,635 Yeah, 'member when it just kept rollin' and rollin'? 347 00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:59,544 (both laugh) 348 00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,546 Oh, you're looking good, Abe. 349 00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:03,208 Cuba's great. 350 00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,876 It's like Florida before all the Cubans came. 351 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,216 So what happened to you? 352 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:11,090 (chuckles) I-I hijacked a plane here in the '70s. 353 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:13,731 Wow! Did you have the chicken or fish? 354 00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:15,657 I had both. 355 00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:17,302 (chuckles) Crazy! 356 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:20,297 Listen, there's a place I want to take you. 357 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,800 What do you say? For old times' sake? 358 00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:23,773 Yeah, why not? 359 00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,500 Keep my tab open, Issabella. 360 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:28,505 I hope I see you again, Abelito. 361 00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:31,178 You will. I never go anyplace new. 362 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:34,178 So, you just sign the papers and she's committed, huh? 363 00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:35,511 That's right. (chuckles) 364 00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,945 That'll zap the sass out of her. 365 00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,751 Yes. Yes! 366 00:13:39,753 --> 00:13:43,093 The future of Angola is the future of Cuba! 367 00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:45,159 (cheering and applause on TV) 368 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,431 (birds singing) Are you sure we had to take this route? 369 00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,434 Hey, I like hacking. 370 00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:58,936 Are you ready for the surprise of your life? 371 00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:01,139 Can you give it to me in stages? 372 00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:03,681 (gasps) There she is, 373 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:06,707 the most hijacked plane in history. 374 00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:09,683 All you had to say was your kid wanted a pair of wings, 375 00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,723 and you were in the cockpit. 376 00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:13,148 I remember their motto, 377 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:16,653 Skyhawk Air: Nobody try to be a hero. 378 00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,486 It's all ready to open as a nightclub, Abe. 379 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,362 All we have to do is clean it up 380 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:25,531 and hack a 50-foot-wide path to civilization. 381 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,872 Couldn't we just burn a path? 382 00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,868 No, I'll do the hacking. I'll do that. 383 00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:32,200 All I need is a front man and a partner. 384 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,205 You expect me to give you the money 385 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,967 I was gonna leave to Homer? 386 00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:39,006 Okay, I'm in! Aah! 387 00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:40,582 WHEELS: We'll fix that. 388 00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,150 See? Fixed. 389 00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:43,148 (clink) 390 00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:44,319 (slurping) 391 00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:45,747 ♪ ♪ 392 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:47,816 (gasps) It's about time! 393 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,015 We leave at 2:00! 394 00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,363 You leave at 2:00. I'm staying here. 395 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:55,089 Dad, you can't stay in Cuba. 396 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:59,095 For the first time in years, I feel young and healthy. 397 00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,869 And I found love! 398 00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:02,997 Don't you want those things for me? 399 00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:04,673 But I can't even leave you in the park 400 00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:06,771 without you losing your wallet in a bush. 401 00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,573 It was an investment! 402 00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:17,180 So you want to stay and be with your Cuban chica? 403 00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:19,183 She makes me weak in the knees! 404 00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:20,785 You're always weak in the knees. 405 00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:24,057 That's because I had to sell my cartilage in the '70s, 406 00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,757 and that cartilage became part of Hank Aaron's wrist. 407 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,360 Dad, you're happy now because the new thing 408 00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:30,532 is always exciting. 409 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,700 Remember when you got that new pillow? 410 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:35,229 Oh, that was a mighty fine pillow. 411 00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:37,395 Hypoallergenic. 412 00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:40,414 Oh, what kind of father would you be if you left me now? 413 00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:43,107 Son, all you see in me is a burden! 414 00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:49,379 Think of me every time you don't visit someone! 415 00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:51,952 (lively Cuban music playing) 416 00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,794 ♪ ♪ 417 00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:01,389 ♪ Aquí pensaban seguir ♪ 418 00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:04,064 ♪ Ganando el ciento por ciento ♪ 419 00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:06,334 ♪ Con casar de apartamento ♪ 420 00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:08,773 ♪ Y echar al pueblo a sufrir ♪ 421 00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,338 ♪ Y seguir de modo cruel ♪ 422 00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,838 ♪ Contra el pueblo conspirando ♪ 423 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,240 ♪ Para seguirlo explotando ♪ 424 00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:18,482 ♪ Y en eso llegó Fidel. ♪ 425 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,778 Who knew you can have fun in coach?! 426 00:16:20,780 --> 00:16:22,410 (chuckles) 427 00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,824 I'd like to speak to your black ops department. 428 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,290 Right downstairs, Mr. Simpson. 429 00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:29,588 Thank you. 430 00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,819 Hmm. How did they know my name? 431 00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:32,955 (whirring) 432 00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:35,089 (whistling a tune) 433 00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,785 I don't know where my dad is. 434 00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,796 Don't worry-- each AARP card 435 00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:40,798 contains a secret tracking chip. 436 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,830 (laughs): The magazine is pretty good, too. 437 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:44,866 Super easy Sudoku. Quiet! 438 00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:46,501 This could take a while. 439 00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,806 Bam! Got 'em! 440 00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:51,108 Now you have to do a favor for us. 441 00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:53,781 How many baseball players can you sneak home with you? 442 00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:56,780 Well... I have to ask my wife, but I'd say 12. 443 00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,123 Bam! Done! 444 00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,892 Andre here sold secrets to the Soviets. 445 00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:05,518 And this is the guy who came up with the service fee 446 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,155 for Ticketmaster. 447 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,490 (grunts) 448 00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:10,325 Do you know any good people? 449 00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:12,500 Everyone's got their embarrassments, Abe. 450 00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:14,329 I'm sure you got yours. 451 00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:15,534 HOMER: Dad! 452 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,565 And up he walks. 453 00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:19,900 What are you doing here? Who are these people? 454 00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:22,006 This guy was the biggest drug lord 455 00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:23,408 in North American history. 456 00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:25,910 And this guy invented Ticketmaster. 457 00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:28,682 You charged me to sell me something! 458 00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,281 Pleased to meet you, sir. 459 00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:32,847 (whispers): Abe, come with me 460 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,052 to the cockpit. 461 00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:35,854 Are we gonna fly or make love? 462 00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:37,855 You will sit there, move nothing, 463 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,217 and do as I say. 464 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,185 Hot dog! Makin' love! 465 00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:42,934 (grunts) 466 00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:49,069 (American accent): Miami, this is Jitterbug Justice 467 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:51,339 bringing back an early bird special. 468 00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:52,737 Miami, do you copy? 469 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,439 MAN (over radio): Uh, we copy. 470 00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,040 The nightclub is flying away. 471 00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:01,505 Can't we hold on to anything? 472 00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:05,554 GRAMPA: Boy, I didn't think I'd ever be able to do this again! 473 00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:07,892 All you have done is fly without falling asleep. 474 00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:10,017 Just like on my honeymoon. 475 00:18:10,023 --> 00:18:14,033 I'm starting to suspect you're not a simple Cuban bartender. 476 00:18:14,027 --> 00:18:16,957 No, I'm an undercover agent for the CIA 477 00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:19,463 here to recapture fugitives from U.S. law. 478 00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:22,626 And when I saw you, I realized you'd be the perfect carcass 479 00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:24,435 to tempt these old buzzards. 480 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,897 (sputtering, stammering) 481 00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:28,235 Is there anything I get out of this? 482 00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:30,781 Yes. You avoid the knockout gas. 483 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:31,807 Aw. 484 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,441 (gas hissing) 485 00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,381 Oh, thank God. 486 00:18:36,382 --> 00:18:38,782 Usually I can never sleep on planes. 487 00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:41,285 Sometimes I... (weak groaning) 488 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:42,547 (thump) 489 00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:49,764 (loud buzzing) 490 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:52,562 (flamingos honking) 491 00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:56,425 So, that's the end of my Cuban paradise. 492 00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:58,296 And like every good thing in my life, 493 00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,104 I've already forgotten it. 494 00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:03,436 Listen, Dad, I know it was fun, but your place is with us, 495 00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:05,783 not on some island in the Indian Ocean. 496 00:19:05,778 --> 00:19:07,348 I love you. 497 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:09,847 (both sobbing) 498 00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:15,252 Oh, now we're two men hugging. 499 00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:18,485 This is no sight for the streets of Miami. 500 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,531 (both sobbing) 501 00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,127 Hey, Dad. 502 00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:23,828 It's a beautiful day. 503 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,460 Want to hit the links? 504 00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:28,095 Oh, just like we used to. 505 00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,203 (horn blows) 506 00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:33,165 (laughter) 507 00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:35,243 Screw you! 508 00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,178 (horn blows) 509 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,680 (horn blows) 510 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,251 Look over there. 511 00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:47,491 I just painted a black circle on the green. 512 00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:49,017 MAN: Why, you little...! 513 00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:51,092 (laughter) 514 00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:54,633 (laughter continues) 515 00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,687 (grunting): Hey! 516 00:19:57,797 --> 00:20:00,327 Now, boy, it's 50 cents a golf ball 517 00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,203 from that water hazard. 518 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,772 Just move those logs aside. 519 00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:11,883 TV ANNOUNCER: Next on Vulture's Nest... 520 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:14,008 We all know TV dinners, 521 00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:17,183 but what about toilet breakfasts? 522 00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:18,823 Here's my offer-- no money, 523 00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,688 and I get a hundred percent of the company 524 00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:24,317 because there's no doubt you developed this idea on my time. 525 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:25,424 And there's more! 526 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:27,685 Not now. 527 00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:30,364 ♪ I'm on my way to Cuba ♪ 528 00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:33,103 ♪ That's where I'm going ♪ 529 00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,704 ♪ Cuba ♪ 530 00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:39,673 ♪ That's where I'll stay ♪ 531 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,740 ♪ Cuba ♪ 532 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:46,742 ♪ Where wine is flowing ♪ 533 00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:50,046 ♪ And where dark-eyed Stellas ♪ 534 00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:53,049 ♪ Light their fella's panetellas ♪ 535 00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:58,022 ♪ Cuba, where all is gay ♪ 536 00:20:58,024 --> 00:21:01,034 ♪ Why don't you plan a ♪ 537 00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:04,027 ♪ Wonderful trip to Havana? ♪ 538 00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:07,030 ♪ Hop on a ship and I'll see you ♪ 539 00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:09,103 ♪ In C-U-B-A... ♪ 540 00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:15,109 Shh! 541 00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:20,114 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 34748

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