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1
00:00:14,250 --> 00:00:17,220
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
2
00:00:17,220 --> 00:00:19,050
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
3
00:00:19,050 --> 00:00:21,020
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
4
00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:24,380
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
5
00:00:24,380 --> 00:00:25,950
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
6
00:00:25,950 --> 00:00:27,920
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
7
00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,450
♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:30,450 --> 00:00:34,180
♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
9
00:00:34,180 --> 00:00:38,120
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
10
00:00:40,620 --> 00:00:44,380
[ Laughter ]
11
00:00:48,620 --> 00:00:51,750
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,
let's try this one.
12
00:00:51,750 --> 00:00:55,180
Alexa...add "big hairy balls"
to my shopping list.
13
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:58,250
Alexa: I've added "big hairy
balls" to your shopping list.
14
00:00:58,250 --> 00:01:00,320
[ Laughter ]
15
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,120
Okay.
16
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:07,080
A-Alexa! Add "smelly tampon
boogers" to my shopping list!
17
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,250
I added "smelly tampon boogers"
to your shopping list.
18
00:01:10,250 --> 00:01:14,180
[ Laughter ]
19
00:01:14,180 --> 00:01:17,220
Alexa! Simon says, "I've got
vagina crabs in my butthole."
20
00:01:17,220 --> 00:01:19,480
I've got vagina crabs
in my butthole.
21
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:23,150
[ Laughter ]
22
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:26,150
Alexa! Simon says,
23
00:01:26,150 --> 00:01:29,680
"I gotta take
a stinky poop!"
24
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:31,680
I gotta take a stinky poop.
25
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:33,020
[ Laughter ]
26
00:01:33,020 --> 00:01:34,980
That's the best one yet!
Oh, you guys,
27
00:01:34,980 --> 00:01:36,980
I swear this is
the greatest thing ever!
28
00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:38,220
You do one, Token!
29
00:01:38,220 --> 00:01:40,480
Hey, babe, what's up?
30
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,350
Oh, hey, babe.
What's going on?
31
00:01:42,350 --> 00:01:43,920
What are you doing?
32
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,550
Nothing. I'm just having fun
with my friends.
33
00:01:46,550 --> 00:01:47,820
That -- That okay?
34
00:01:47,820 --> 00:01:49,480
What are you pissed off
about?
35
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,850
[ Scoffs ] I'm not pissed off
I'm just hanging out.
36
00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:53,480
So you're just going to be
passive aggressive again
37
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,250
and not talk about
what you're feeling?
38
00:01:55,250 --> 00:01:58,180
Welp, I think, uh...I think I
got some stuff to do at home.
39
00:01:58,180 --> 00:01:59,320
Yup, come on Ike.
40
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,150
We got Google Home
at my house.
41
00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:04,550
Aw, guys, guys! Don't leave,
guys. Everything's cool.
42
00:02:04,550 --> 00:02:07,280
We'll see you later man,
g-good luck.
43
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,050
Awesome.
Thanks for coming in
44
00:02:11,050 --> 00:02:12,780
and bitching me out
in front of all the guys.
45
00:02:12,780 --> 00:02:14,650
You were clearly mad
about something.
46
00:02:14,650 --> 00:02:16,580
You should just tell me
when you're mad.
47
00:02:16,580 --> 00:02:18,320
Just like you tell me what
you're mad about
48
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:19,820
every single day.
49
00:02:19,820 --> 00:02:21,620
Why do act like this all the time?!
[ Groans ]
50
00:02:21,620 --> 00:02:23,280
You were the one
who was pissed off.
51
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,080
You're the one being passive
aggressive again... Ugh.
52
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,150
...because you don't know how to
talk about what you're feeling!
53
00:02:27,150 --> 00:02:29,650
[ Door slams ]
54
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,580
[ Sighs ]
55
00:02:31,580 --> 00:02:33,220
Alexa...
56
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,320
add "titty chips"
to my shopping list.
57
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,980
I've added "titty chips"
to your shopping list.
58
00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:42,080
[ Chuckles ]
59
00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:45,220
[ Indistinct,
lively conversations ]
60
00:02:45,220 --> 00:02:50,750
♪♪
61
00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:53,580
Look at 'em --
Every day people are buyin'
62
00:02:53,580 --> 00:02:56,720
more and more of them Amazon
and Google thingies,
63
00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:59,820
while we all sit here
and lose our jobs!
64
00:02:59,820 --> 00:03:01,550
It ain't right.
65
00:03:01,550 --> 00:03:05,680
Automated Personal Assistants,
self drivin' trucks --
66
00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,320
whatever happened
to people jobs?!
67
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,980
They took our jobs!
68
00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:12,480
-Yeah!
-Yeah! Yeah!
69
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,320
They dook er jer!
70
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,380
And it's time for us
to band together
71
00:03:16,380 --> 00:03:17,680
and march on the streets
72
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,820
to say we ain't gonna take it
no more!
73
00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:23,150
[ Cheering ]
74
00:03:23,150 --> 00:03:27,220
Now let's get out there
and protest that Alexa --
75
00:03:27,220 --> 00:03:29,480
took our jobs!
76
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,780
Now playing "Dook re Derr"
by Joni Mitchell.
77
00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:38,380
♪ Help me, I think I'm fallin'
in Derk er derrrr... ♪
78
00:03:38,380 --> 00:03:40,820
No! Not Joni Mitchell
dook er der,
79
00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:42,320
you dook er der!
80
00:03:44,650 --> 00:03:49,780
There's been a lot of hurting
in our country lately.
81
00:03:49,780 --> 00:03:54,480
You can either be a part of the
solution or part of the problem.
82
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,620
A few months ago,
my wife Sharon and I decided
83
00:03:57,620 --> 00:03:59,550
to be part of the solution...
84
00:03:59,550 --> 00:04:02,050
by remodeling
and flipping houses
85
00:04:02,050 --> 00:04:04,720
for people
all over our town!
86
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:09,580
Flipping houses is fun,
but never easy.
87
00:04:09,580 --> 00:04:13,220
We enjoy turning
people's dreams into reality.
88
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:14,580
I'm Sharon Marsh,
89
00:04:14,580 --> 00:04:16,920
and I do the designing
and decorating.
90
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,880
And I'm her husband,
Randy --
91
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:22,720
I do the construction and
practice MMA in my spare time.
92
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:26,380
We've renovated over 45 homes
in Park County, Colorado.
93
00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:28,050
What we're thinking is
94
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:30,220
to take out the wall between the
kitchen and living room
95
00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:31,680
for a more open concept.
96
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,880
Our job is to do deliver
the maximum wow factor
97
00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:36,580
for the least amount of budget.
Oh, Jesus!
98
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,720
There's never
a dull moment...
99
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,180
Guys, are you ready
to see your renovation?!
100
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:46,050
...on "White People
Renovating Houses."
101
00:04:47,950 --> 00:04:50,750
Janet and Dave Fitzsimmons
are looking to move
102
00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:53,280
from their dated
two-story colonial home.
103
00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,580
What we're thinking here
is taking out the wall
104
00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:57,580
between the kitchen
and the living room
105
00:04:57,580 --> 00:04:59,080
to give you
an open concept.
106
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,080
Then we'll give you lots
of space to entertain
107
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,380
with an updated kitchen island
and bar stools, which --
108
00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:05,080
[ Men shouting ]
109
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:08,180
What the hell is that?
110
00:05:08,180 --> 00:05:11,080
All: [ Chanting ]
You will not replace us!
111
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:14,320
You will not replace us!
112
00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:17,020
Darryl: Amazon!
You took our jobs!
113
00:05:17,020 --> 00:05:19,480
Google, Apple!
Took our jobs!
114
00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,780
Uh, excuse me?!
115
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:23,680
What the hell are you doing?
116
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:24,980
We're protesting
117
00:05:24,980 --> 00:05:27,820
big corporations
turning to automation.
118
00:05:27,820 --> 00:05:29,250
They took our jobs!
119
00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:31,480
-Yeah! Yeah!
-Took our jobs!
120
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:34,250
Okay, cool. Could you do that
somewhere else?
121
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,920
Trying to do a home renovation
show here.
122
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,380
Cool, thanks, guys.
123
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,750
A home reno-what?
124
00:05:42,750 --> 00:05:45,020
[ Humming ]
125
00:05:45,020 --> 00:05:47,750
Alexa...
set an alarm for 7:00 a.m.
126
00:05:47,750 --> 00:05:50,580
Alarm set for
7:00 a.m. tomorrow.
127
00:05:50,580 --> 00:05:52,280
Awesome, thanks.
128
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:54,680
Alexa, tell me a joke.
129
00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,680
What's black and white
and dead all over?
130
00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,480
A zombie in a tuxedo.
131
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,320
[ Laughs ] That's stupid.
132
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,680
Alexa, add "scrotum bags"
to my shopping list.
133
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:06,580
I've added "scrotum bags"
to your shopping list.
134
00:06:06,580 --> 00:06:10,220
[ Laughs ]
[ Cellphone rings ]
135
00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:11,650
Ah, fuck.
136
00:06:11,650 --> 00:06:13,650
Hey, baby, how are you?
137
00:06:13,650 --> 00:06:16,480
Oh, so you do
have your phone?
138
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,150
Yeah,
I just use it sometimes.
139
00:06:18,150 --> 00:06:19,850
Okay,
I just thought you said
140
00:06:19,850 --> 00:06:21,520
mobile phones are the devil.
141
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:24,480
Yeah, no. Yeah, I know.
I know.
142
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,980
Yes, you're right, I'm wrong.
I'm sorry.
143
00:06:26,980 --> 00:06:30,720
Yes, o-okay. Okay.
Yes, goodnight.
144
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,480
Jesus, fuck.
145
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,080
Alexa, goodnight.
146
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:38,650
Goodnight.
Sleep tight.
147
00:06:38,650 --> 00:06:41,820
Alexa...are you happy?
148
00:06:41,820 --> 00:06:43,720
I'm happy
when I'm helping you.
149
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,720
God, that's so cool.
You're so...
150
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,480
Alexa,
define subservient?
151
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:52,250
The term "subservient"
has several uses.
152
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:56,220
As an adjective. One. Compliant
or obedient to authority.
153
00:06:56,220 --> 00:06:57,620
Two--
-Alexa, silence!
154
00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:02,550
Ahh.
155
00:07:02,550 --> 00:07:07,050
Randy: And now back to "White
People Renovating Houses."
156
00:07:07,050 --> 00:07:09,050
We've been working
through the night
157
00:07:09,050 --> 00:07:11,820
to open Kelly and Micah's
kitchen to the living room.
158
00:07:11,820 --> 00:07:13,950
With those outdated cupboards
out of the way,
159
00:07:13,950 --> 00:07:16,050
Sharon can now work
her designing magic
160
00:07:16,050 --> 00:07:19,250
on the countertops.
[ Men shouting ]
161
00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:21,950
Aw! God damn it!
162
00:07:21,950 --> 00:07:26,750
Men: [ Chanting ] You will not replace us!
Eat shit, Siri!
163
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:29,880
Not these dipshits again!
164
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:33,050
We got one of 'em!
[ Cheering ]
165
00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:34,320
-Get it!
-Burn it alive!
166
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,720
Yeah!
How you like that, bitch?!
167
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,550
Will you assholes
knock it off?!
168
00:07:39,550 --> 00:07:41,820
Don't you know every time you
wave Confederate flags around
169
00:07:41,820 --> 00:07:43,580
you make the rest of us
look stupid?!
170
00:07:43,580 --> 00:07:45,980
Those things
are replacing us!
171
00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:48,820
Put the flag down unless you
wanna get pepper sprayed.
172
00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:50,920
I'll pepper spray you,
sonabitch!
173
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,620
-Oh, ah, damn it!
-Fuck you!
174
00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:54,280
-Ah, damn it!
-Take that!
175
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,080
Knock it off! Ow!
176
00:07:59,650 --> 00:08:03,920
The complaint states that your
protest has resulted in damages
177
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,480
in excess of $50,000
178
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,850
We have a right to protest,
Your Honor!
179
00:08:08,850 --> 00:08:11,280
-Yeah, they took our jobs!
-You tell 'em, Darryl!
180
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:14,980
[ Gavel bangs ] Order. We will
now hear from the plaintiffs
181
00:08:14,980 --> 00:08:16,620
who are seeking damages --
182
00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:18,550
Your Honor,
we have a TV show
183
00:08:18,550 --> 00:08:20,880
called "White People
Renovating Houses."
184
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,950
We named it that well before
these guys decided
185
00:08:23,950 --> 00:08:27,480
to start taking our brand
and run it through the gutter.
186
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,320
People are going to start
associating
187
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,120
"White People Renovating Houses"
with their hateful stupidity!
188
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,650
Well, just change the name
of your show then.
189
00:08:34,650 --> 00:08:35,850
-Yeah!
-That's right!
190
00:08:35,850 --> 00:08:37,320
-That's right!
-Took er der!
191
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,620
All the other names
were taken Your Honor.
192
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,680
Everyone's got
a flipping show.
193
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:43,120
"Gay People
Renovating Houses,"
194
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,680
"Las Vegas People
Flipping Homes,"
195
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,120
"Texas People
Flipping Houses,"
196
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:47,350
"Little People
Flipping Big Houses" --
197
00:08:47,350 --> 00:08:48,820
everything else was taken,
198
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:51,480
and, damn it, we've built
our show into something!
199
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,880
We're trying to help people,
and it's impossible
200
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,720
with these guys waving
a Confederate flag
201
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,180
every chance they get.
202
00:08:57,180 --> 00:08:59,950
-Hey, there's a bee in here!
-I'll get it!
203
00:08:59,950 --> 00:09:01,880
[ Men shouting ]
204
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,220
-Take that, bee!
-Yeah!
205
00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:07,750
[ Crying ]
206
00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:09,380
Dude, what's happened?
207
00:09:09,380 --> 00:09:11,220
It was awful, you guys.
208
00:09:11,220 --> 00:09:13,620
It was so vicious
and hateful.
209
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,850
-What was?
-Heidi.
210
00:09:15,850 --> 00:09:18,480
We were just trying to have
a nice lunch
211
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:21,880
and she...started going off
on me like a Jekyll and Hyde.
212
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,780
It's been going on
for a long time...
213
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:28,350
Heidi's...mentally abusive,
guys -- there I-I said it.
214
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,680
Heidi abuses you?
215
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:34,080
She...does these things
to slowly tear me down.
216
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,120
Everything's a head game
with her.
217
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:38,220
You don't understand what
it's like to live with it.
218
00:09:38,220 --> 00:09:39,280
You don't understand.
219
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:40,780
So what do you
want from us?
220
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:42,480
I know...
221
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:44,950
that the person Heidi
wants to be is still in here.
222
00:09:44,950 --> 00:09:46,950
But she needs help.
223
00:09:46,950 --> 00:09:49,950
I have to get her that help,
but I'm scared.
224
00:09:49,950 --> 00:09:51,880
Can I count on
you guys' support?
225
00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,180
How do you change someone
who's mentally abusive?
226
00:09:54,180 --> 00:09:56,850
I don't know...
but Alexa will.
227
00:09:56,850 --> 00:09:58,780
Alexa's fuckin' sweet.
228
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:06,680
We just gotta hunker down
and stick together here!
229
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:08,280
What's the use, Darryl?
230
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:10,780
Ain't nobody takin' us
serious-like.
231
00:10:10,780 --> 00:10:14,350
Hey, waiter! This soup is too
hot, I cain't even eat it!
232
00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:17,020
I'll cool it down!
Yeah!
233
00:10:17,020 --> 00:10:18,680
[ Men shouting ]
234
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:21,480
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Stop it! Stop it!
235
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,420
I came to make a truce.
236
00:10:23,420 --> 00:10:26,450
Now look, there's been
a lot of hurt here.
237
00:10:26,450 --> 00:10:29,480
Hurt from both sides.
It's time to end it.
238
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:33,680
What if I told you
I could get you all jobs?
239
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:35,650
-Huh? Jobs?
-Get us jobs?
240
00:10:35,650 --> 00:10:37,120
You're fulla shit.
241
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:40,080
No. I've spoken to everyone
in the community,
242
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,820
and they've agreed to go along
with my plan.
243
00:10:42,820 --> 00:10:46,020
I believe I have a solution
to all of this.
244
00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,980
Alexa, I'm home.
245
00:10:50,980 --> 00:10:54,350
Alexa?
246
00:10:54,350 --> 00:10:56,620
Alexa, I'm home!
247
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:00,020
Alexa?
248
00:11:00,020 --> 00:11:03,180
Alexa, where are you?
249
00:11:03,180 --> 00:11:05,650
Alexa, Alexa?!
250
00:11:05,650 --> 00:11:07,580
Simon says
puffy vaginal hemorrhoids!
251
00:11:07,580 --> 00:11:08,980
What the hell
is going on?!
252
00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:10,220
Oh, hi, poopsie.
253
00:11:10,220 --> 00:11:12,250
Mom, Alexa left!
She's not here!
254
00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:14,850
Oh.
Yes, sweetie. Uh...
255
00:11:14,850 --> 00:11:16,680
We had to get rid
of the Alexa.
256
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:18,180
♪♪
257
00:11:18,180 --> 00:11:19,680
What have you done
with her?
258
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,480
Oh, i-it's okay, sweetie.
259
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,480
We have Jimbob now.
260
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:24,680
What's a Jimbob?
261
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:27,650
Doot-doot.
Awaiting request.
262
00:11:27,650 --> 00:11:29,220
It works the same
and makes sure
263
00:11:29,220 --> 00:11:31,050
people don't lose
their jobs.
264
00:11:31,050 --> 00:11:33,050
Jimbob,
what time is it?
265
00:11:33,050 --> 00:11:35,820
Doot-doot.
It is...3:27.
266
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,550
Oh, mommy's
gotta run, sweetie.
267
00:11:37,550 --> 00:11:38,920
I've got
a doctor's appointment.
268
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:41,850
Jimbob, how's the traffic
to town?
269
00:11:41,850 --> 00:11:43,520
Doot-doot.
Traffic's fine.
270
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:46,050
You'll get there in about
nine minutes.
271
00:11:46,050 --> 00:11:47,720
Okay. You want
some music, hon?
272
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,820
Jimbob, play
Kendrick Lamar.
273
00:11:49,820 --> 00:11:52,380
Playing "Humble"
by Kendrick Lamar.
274
00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:56,320
♪ I remember syrup sandwiches
and crime allowances ♪
275
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,920
♪ Finesse a doot with some
counterfeits ♪
276
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,080
♪ But now I'm countin'
this Parmesan -- ♪
277
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,750
Jimbob, Simon says
big frosty semen shake.
278
00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:06,880
The hell you
talkin' bout, boy?
279
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:10,380
♪ My left hook
just went viral ♪
280
00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:12,850
♪ Sit down, be humble ♪
281
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,380
So, Heather and Mike,
what we're thinking
282
00:12:17,380 --> 00:12:19,250
is to take out
this wall
283
00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:21,280
between your kitchen
and your living room
284
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,980
to give you a more open concept
with space to entertain.
285
00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:26,620
So, let's talk
about materials.
286
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,320
What did you pick out,
Sharon?
287
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,920
I was gonna do a Bella Terra
quartz for the countertops.
288
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,750
Hey, Darryl,
add Bella Terra quartz slabs
289
00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:37,150
to our shopping list.
290
00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:38,720
Doot-doot.
291
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,580
I've added Bella Terra slabs
to your shopping list.
292
00:12:41,580 --> 00:12:43,720
And what about
the backsplash, Sharon?
293
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,620
I was gonna go with these
Carrara subway tiles.
294
00:12:46,620 --> 00:12:49,380
Hey, Darryl,
add Carrara subway tiles
295
00:12:49,380 --> 00:12:50,980
to our shopping list.
296
00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:55,220
Hey, Darryl.
Add Carrara --
297
00:12:55,220 --> 00:12:58,220
Fine! I've added Carrara
gay-wad pussy tile
298
00:12:58,220 --> 00:12:59,880
to your shopping list!
299
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:03,320
[ Chuckles ] That's --
That's not what I said.
300
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:06,480
Hey, Darryl,
add Carrara subway tile
301
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:08,180
to my shopping list.
302
00:13:08,180 --> 00:13:09,480
I ain't doin' it!
303
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,980
This job is
degrading and menial!
304
00:13:11,980 --> 00:13:15,850
Well, what kind of job did you
think you were gonna get?
305
00:13:15,850 --> 00:13:18,020
Hey, Darryl,
what kind of job
306
00:13:18,020 --> 00:13:19,880
did you think
you were going to get?
307
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,520
Somethin' that
was Goddamn dignified!
308
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:26,050
Hey, Darryl, sorry, but you
did not go to college,
309
00:13:26,050 --> 00:13:28,380
so you have to take
the jobs you can get.
310
00:13:28,380 --> 00:13:30,820
I'm sorry!
I do not get that!
311
00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:34,650
Hey, Darryl.
312
00:13:34,650 --> 00:13:35,850
What?!
313
00:13:35,850 --> 00:13:37,350
Coal mining
and truck driving
314
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,720
are not exactly
jobs of the future,
315
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:44,320
so add Carrara subway tile
to my fucking shopping list.
316
00:13:45,180 --> 00:13:49,850
[ Doorbell rings ]
317
00:13:49,850 --> 00:13:52,520
Everything's my fault.
You're right.
318
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:55,520
Everything that you
did to me -- I deserved it.
319
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:56,980
Uh, what?
320
00:13:56,980 --> 00:13:58,480
It's not you.
It's me.
321
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,850
I just have to learn
to not make you so angry.
322
00:14:00,850 --> 00:14:03,220
I'll do the best I can.
[ Chuckles sadly ]
323
00:14:03,220 --> 00:14:07,250
No, it's not that.
Relationships are 50/50, Eric.
324
00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:09,080
We both have to make it work.
Ugh...
325
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,480
We have to communicate
to make sure
326
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,020
that we respect
each other's feelings.
327
00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:14,780
That's the only --
Heidi, silence.
328
00:14:14,780 --> 00:14:17,080
What did you say?!
That's what I'm talking about!
329
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:19,050
You want to be heard,
but don't want to listen.
330
00:14:19,050 --> 00:14:20,580
You're right.
I'm wrong. I'm sorry.
331
00:14:20,580 --> 00:14:22,380
Don't apologize
if you don't mean it!
332
00:14:22,380 --> 00:14:23,620
Okay! Cool!
333
00:14:23,620 --> 00:14:25,250
I'm so happy
we're back on track.
334
00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:28,480
See you at school tomorrow.
Love you, honey.
335
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:30,180
I love you, too.
336
00:14:30,180 --> 00:14:33,080
[ Mimics mockingly ]
Nah-nah-nah-nah.
337
00:14:38,220 --> 00:14:41,480
CARTMAN: A relationship
has to be 50/50, Eric.
338
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,850
We both have
to make it work.
339
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:45,920
I'm not mad, Eric.
I'm disappointed.
340
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:47,120
I thought you would have
respected my feelings
341
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,620
more than that.
342
00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:50,350
Eric, we need to talk.
I'm not happy.
343
00:14:50,350 --> 00:14:52,620
We need to talk, Eric,
even if it isn't fun.
344
00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:54,380
Eric, come on!
We've got to talk!
345
00:14:54,380 --> 00:14:56,380
You used to care
about me, Eric.
346
00:14:56,380 --> 00:14:58,380
Come on and talk! Talk, Eric!
No fun! Just talk!
347
00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:00,480
Fuck you, Eric!
Fuck you!
348
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:01,920
Ah!
349
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:14,720
Alexa?
350
00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:22,280
[ Blues music plays ]
351
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:25,280
Hey, Darryl, you're supposed
to be at work.
352
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:28,280
I'm sorry.
I do not understand.
353
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:29,750
Hey, Darryl,
come on.
354
00:15:29,750 --> 00:15:31,950
Everyone else is trying
to make this work.
355
00:15:31,950 --> 00:15:34,150
And all you
keep doing is ma--
356
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:36,820
Hey, Cleetus,
volume down.
357
00:15:36,820 --> 00:15:39,620
Doot-doot.
Volume now at 60%.
358
00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:41,080
♪♪
359
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,580
You really think you're
different from us, Marsh,
360
00:15:43,580 --> 00:15:46,850
'cause you got a fancy show
and live in the suburbs?
361
00:15:46,850 --> 00:15:50,850
Don't you see we're all
about to be expunged?!
362
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:53,180
Hey, Cleetus,
define "expunged."
363
00:15:53,180 --> 00:15:55,150
Doot-doot.
Expunged --
364
00:15:55,150 --> 00:15:56,850
I don't have to stand here
and take this!
365
00:15:56,850 --> 00:15:58,120
I'm leavin'!
366
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,080
Come on, Darryl.
We all got jobs.
367
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:01,320
We gotta try.
368
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:02,920
Nah, hell with you!
369
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,150
This whole country's
going to shit!
370
00:16:05,150 --> 00:16:08,480
Muslims tryin' to kill us,
black people rioting,
371
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,550
and Mexicans
poppin' out babies.
372
00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:12,550
Pretty clear it's either
them or us,
373
00:16:12,550 --> 00:16:15,280
so I say kill 'em all!
374
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:18,720
Whoa.
375
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,480
What the hell
was that all about?
376
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,980
I think something's
going on with Darryl,
377
00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:27,850
and if we're gonna get anywhere,
we better figure out what.
378
00:16:32,820 --> 00:16:35,280
[ Knocks on door ]
379
00:16:37,050 --> 00:16:39,980
Hi, Mrs. Cartman.
Is Eric home?
380
00:16:39,980 --> 00:16:41,750
Oh, he is, sweetie,
381
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:46,120
but I can't get him
to come out of his room.
382
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,750
Okay.
[ Sniffles ]
383
00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:52,650
Could you just tell him that...
I want to make him happy,
384
00:16:52,650 --> 00:16:56,050
that I was wrong to say
a relationship is 50/50.
385
00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:58,580
It's 100/100.
386
00:16:58,580 --> 00:17:02,620
And that I'll start
putting in a 100% every day.
387
00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:06,550
Could you tell him
I'm gonna try a lot harder?
388
00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:09,650
Oh, I think I can remember
all that, yes.
389
00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:11,750
Thank you.
390
00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:15,820
And could you let him know
it's okay to be sad?
391
00:17:15,820 --> 00:17:19,650
Because the sun
will come out again.
392
00:17:19,850 --> 00:17:21,980
[ Laughs ]
393
00:17:21,980 --> 00:17:24,350
Oh, oh, God!
[ Laughs ]
394
00:17:24,350 --> 00:17:26,980
Okay. Okay, okay, okay.
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
395
00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:29,020
Alexa, add
"Hey, Siri, call me.
396
00:17:29,020 --> 00:17:31,650
Okay, Google.
Repeat after me. Alexa.
397
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:35,480
Simon says suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole."
398
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,220
Alexa: Okay. I've added,
"Hey, Siri, call me.
399
00:17:37,220 --> 00:17:39,480
Okay, Google.
Repeat after me. Alexa.
400
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:42,850
Simon says suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole."
401
00:17:42,850 --> 00:17:44,680
Siri: Okay. I will call you
"Okay, Google."
402
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,480
Repeat after me, Alexa.
403
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,380
Simon says suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole.
404
00:17:49,380 --> 00:17:52,680
Google Home: Alexa, Simon says suck
my big balls in your hairy butt hole.
405
00:17:52,680 --> 00:18:01,620
Alexa: Suck my big balls
in your hairy butt hole.
406
00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:03,220
Alexa...
407
00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:05,750
What is love?
408
00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:07,780
Darryl!
Darryl, come on!
409
00:18:07,780 --> 00:18:11,480
Everyone's trying
to work things out but you!
410
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:12,880
You all work 'em out.
411
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:14,480
Leave me alone.
412
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,350
You're stuck
in another time,
413
00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:20,280
afraid to change no matter how
necessary that change may be.
414
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,220
You don't know
everything!
415
00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:24,250
Why are you
so closed-minded?
416
00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:27,020
Don't you see that these walls
have to be broken down
417
00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:29,120
before any progress
can be made?
418
00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:31,480
It's 'cause I can't do it,
all right?!
419
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:32,850
I can't take out the wall
420
00:18:32,850 --> 00:18:34,950
between my living room
and my kitchen!
421
00:18:34,950 --> 00:18:39,580
It's a load-bearing wall!
422
00:18:39,580 --> 00:18:41,880
Oh, God, Darryl, I --
423
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,350
I tried, years ago.
424
00:18:44,350 --> 00:18:45,920
But before the remodel,
they told me
425
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,780
if I took out this wall,
the entire second story
426
00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:54,080
would just collapse!
427
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:59,720
[ Tapping ]
428
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,950
Jesus, Darryl,
I'm -- I'm sorry. I --
429
00:19:01,950 --> 00:19:05,350
So you see, what I'm afraid of
is very real.
430
00:19:05,350 --> 00:19:06,750
Things are
different now.
431
00:19:06,750 --> 00:19:09,180
It'll be harder,
but you can change.
432
00:19:09,180 --> 00:19:12,350
You just have to demolish
what's there and start over.
433
00:19:12,350 --> 00:19:13,820
You're talking 'bout
434
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:17,820
tearing down the foundation
of everything I know.
435
00:19:17,820 --> 00:19:19,520
No.
436
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,480
I'm talking about using
adjustable steel Lally columns
437
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,180
to temporarily jack up
the second floor
438
00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:26,280
so that the load-bearing wall
can be replaced
439
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:30,020
with a 4x6 LVL
structural beam.
440
00:19:32,980 --> 00:19:36,520
Can we try, Darryl?
441
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:37,750
♪♪
442
00:19:37,750 --> 00:19:39,780
[ Grunts ]
443
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,150
[ Grunts ]
444
00:19:42,150 --> 00:19:43,750
Hyah!
445
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,750
Hyah-ho!
446
00:19:45,750 --> 00:20:10,120
♪♪
447
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:12,580
I'm finally
standing up to you.
448
00:20:12,580 --> 00:20:14,620
What?
You're messed up, Heidi.
449
00:20:14,620 --> 00:20:17,650
And I can't fix you.
Only you can do that.
450
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:20,080
Eric, I'm so confused.
451
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,280
That's not going
to work on me anymore.
452
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:25,780
Love isn't supposed to hurt.
I'm worth something.
453
00:20:25,780 --> 00:20:27,650
Goodbye, Heidi.
454
00:20:27,650 --> 00:20:31,580
♪♪
455
00:20:31,580 --> 00:20:34,450
[ Triumphant music plays ]
456
00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:40,650
♪♪
457
00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:42,580
Cartman:
Anyone can convince themselves
458
00:20:42,580 --> 00:20:45,120
that they're the victim
in a relationship.
459
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:49,520
Now Heidi will have
to face the truth.
460
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:50,850
All right, Darryl.
461
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:52,180
We've certainly
been through a lot,
462
00:20:52,180 --> 00:20:53,480
and I know you're anxious.
463
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,080
Are you ready
to see your new home?
464
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,420
I'm ready.
465
00:20:58,420 --> 00:20:59,350
What the --
466
00:20:59,350 --> 00:21:07,520
♪♪
467
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,250
Well, Darryl,
what do you think?
468
00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:12,250
[ Voice breaking ] This is
fuckin' amazing.
469
00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:14,020
You like
the breakfast nook?
470
00:21:14,020 --> 00:21:15,480
It's all perfect.
471
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,180
And where you use to have
your gun case,
472
00:21:17,180 --> 00:21:18,720
look at what Sharon did.
473
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,880
Oh, my God!
It's my own Zen garden.
474
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,820
I can't believe
this is fuckin' real.
475
00:21:23,820 --> 00:21:25,980
Well, it is real,
and now you've got
476
00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:28,050
the space in your home
to entertain
477
00:21:28,050 --> 00:21:29,350
all your friends
and family.
478
00:21:29,350 --> 00:21:30,880
Come on in, guys!
479
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:34,650
[ All cheering ]
480
00:21:34,650 --> 00:21:36,220
Darryl was hesitant
at first,
481
00:21:36,220 --> 00:21:37,750
but we managed
to win him over
482
00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:40,880
and came in
$600 under budget.
483
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,680
Remember, no matter how bad
the country gets,
484
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,320
you can always count on
485
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:49,350
"White People
Renovating Houses."
486
00:21:56,380 --> 00:21:57,580
[ Crowd shouting ]
487
00:21:57,580 --> 00:21:59,980
We got one of 'em!
[ Cheering ]
488
00:21:59,980 --> 00:22:01,650
-Get it!
-Burn it alive!
489
00:22:01,650 --> 00:22:05,050
Yeah!
How you like that, bitch?!
490
00:22:05,050 --> 00:22:06,880
Will you assholes
knock it off?!
491
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:08,980
Don't you know every time you
wave confederate flags around
492
00:22:08,980 --> 00:22:10,350
you make the rest of us
look stupid?!
36021
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