All language subtitles for american-dad-s17e07-into-the-woods-1080p-amzn-web-dl-dd-5-1-h-264-ctrlhd-1590603527

You can add a layer
of cut-up hot dogs

to any sandwich on the menu.

They call it "Doggy Style."

And if you don't cut up the hot dogs,

they call that "Viagra Falls."

These names are racy.

Is that coming from corporate?

It tastes really good.

I'm not about all that razzle-dazzle.

I'll be getting turkey on bread.

The bread.

It tastes really good.

What are you gonna get, Roger?

Dead heat
between the "Big Bad Beefer"

and "The Tahoe Tuna Boat."

I'm a Tuna Boat man,
but I like being sick.

Chime-in Guy, enough!

I'm talking to my friend Stan.

Right, Stan? Stan?

I see a man from my past, Roger.

A man I wronged.

So? I see men I wronged.

I also see men I haven't wronged.

I see a lot of men right now, Stan.

Is this a men's only sandwich shop?

Good morning, U.S.A.

Stan, do you think
that guy brought that from home,

or do they sell Chinese food
in Ziploc bags here?

Wait, weren't you haunted
by the memory of that cashier?

Tommy Shuler.

We went to middle school together.

He was a bit of an outcast,
but we were friends.

One Halloween,
we trick-or-treated together.

Spooky!

Trick or treat. Trick or treat.

A single Tootsie Roll for you.

And a single Tootsie Roll for you.

And a kiss for me?

Susan. We talked about this.

They're just kids, Gene!

That's my point!

Geez, Gene! I love you,

but I cannot do this every Halloween!

I lost one of my finger knives.

You look around here.
I'll check back by Mendelsohns'.

Lookin' for your ween, Shuler?

Hey, Pete. Hey, Tic Tac.

Check out this dildo
trick-or-treating

all by himself.

I'm not by myself.

I'm with Stan.

No luck by Mendelsohns'.

No! The Krachowski brothers.

Smith. Man. Maybe there is
someone lame enough

to trick-or-treat with this tool.

Well, how 'bout it?
You out here with Shuler?

What, that loser? No way.

I wasn't proud of myself,

but I was able to save face.

And I actually kept
trick-or-treating.

Got a pretty good haul.

Made some great trades, too.

Parlayed three Almond Joys
into a Snickers.

But there was no joy for Tommy,
Almond or otherwise.

He went missing in the woods
for days.

That's a heavy story, Stan.

But can I ask...

why are we crawling?

I can't face him.

I ruined his life.

The man works at a sub shop.

Well, hold on a minute.

This could be a Buffett Situation.

What's a Buffett Situation?

Warren Buffett's a billionaire,

but he chooses to live
a very modest life.

Lives in a modest house,
listens to Modest Mouse.

He's a middle-of-the-road guy, Stan.

Like Tommy.

More likely than not,
he is a Buffett Situation.

Case closed.

- All right, Roger.
- Sandwich time!

Ohhhh, ohhhh!

Ohhhh, ohhhh!

Are we maybe celebrating too soon?

How do you mean, Stan?

I mean, we can't discount
the remote possibility

that this is not a Buffett Situation.

Uch, fine. We'll follow him

after he leaves work and find out.

In the meantime,
let's talk about who else

might be in a Buffett Situation.

My guess? Steve.

I don't need these.
Sorry I made you stop for them.

Hyundai Elantra.

Cheap but dependable.
Thinkin' man's car.

I believe the Buffett Situation
is still in play, Stan.

He just put 20 Hungry-Man
TV dinners into his cart.

So he must have a massive family.

You're stupid? What?

He's shopping for one.

I'm starting to think
this might not be

a Buffett Situation after all.

Oh, shit balls. What happened?

I just realized I've got
a cold coming on.

- How do you know?
- Throat tickle.

Gonna grab some Airborne.

Yes, I know it does nothing.

Oh, boy.

Tandem parking.

Vertical blinds.

Wall-to-wall carpet.

Microfiber couch.

DVD rack.

DVDs.

Pert Plus. The 2-In-One?

I've seen enough.

By the way, is he deaf?

Hello?

He's not even deaf!

So, definitely not
a Buffett Situation.

There's no denying it.

I destroyed his life.

I owe Tommy an apology.

It's gonna be intense.

Thank God I've got you
riding shotgun, amigo.

About that, Stan...

it's official now.

I am 100% about to get sick.

So you understand I can't
join you on this adventure.

But I need you.

I need a soundboard.

Who am I gonna talk
to about my internals?

Don't worry. I lined up some
great options to take my place.

First up, your son, Steve!

No stranger to shame,

and he's got
a nice little tummy to boot.

Like Tommy, Hayley knows
her way around a sub sandwich.

And talk about a killer
crossover dribble.

Baller! Shot caller!

I made it.

Up next, he's orange every day.

Make way for Klaus!
I don't want Klaus.

Here comes trouble.

Francine!

You know her. You love her.

And she's got that good energy, Stan.

I guess I'll take Francine.

You won't regret this, Stan.

I'm gonna be crazy like Roger.

Well, Roger's not just crazy.
There's a lot of nuance there.

He's got the heart of a power clown.

Thank you for seeing me, Stan.

I can power clown.

We'll have to see.

Tommy's waited his whole life
for this apology.

I need to honor that.

I know what'll help.

Forties!

Can I help you?

The question is... Can I heal you?

Excuse me?
Tommy, it's me, Stan Smith.

From Frank Stallone Middle School.

I stand before you,
Tommy Shuler, to say

I'm sorry for the night
I said I wasn't

trick-or-treating with you,
which ruined your life

and turned you into the loser
you are today.

Done. Apologized.
So, what do you think?

You must have dreamed about
this moment for 1,000 times.

Well, it's here, Tommy. It's real.

So hit me. Do your worst.

Let it out. I'm afraid...

Don't be afraid, Tommy.

I don't remember you.

That's right. Let it flow.
You're doing great.

Wait, what the fluh you just say?!

What are you doing? What is that?

Tommy doesn't remember you,
so you're off the hook.

I thought we could do some bong
rips, play some "Soulcalibur."

Wrong, Francine.

Tommy needs me more than ever.

Let's try an exercise called
"What Would Roger Say?"

Roger would say, "Tommy is..."

Gay. Have sex with him.

No. I mean... I mean yes.

He... He would probably say that.

But Roger as Dr. Penguin
would say, "Tommy is blocked."

And maybe Roger would do one
of his signature quick changes.

Voilà! I'm Dr. Glasses.

My personality. Smart.

Ask me a question.
What's that in your hand?

A Frito. I found it down there.

Tommy was so traumatized,
he actually erased the memory.

I need to make him remember the past

so he can move forward
with his life...

so he can blast off like a rocket

headed straight for the moon.

Do you think this is
a good plan, Francine?

Maybe. I'm not looking for a yes man!

Are you seriously leaving?

I was gonna get you some milk.

I don't like milk.

I like pastries.

Thanks for having us, Tommy.

You kind of just... showed up.

And you're gonna be happy I did.

Do me a kindness,
fire me up a Hungry-Man.

Kitchen's just past the Ficus.

- Can I help her with s...
- Let's focus on you.

Bottom line...
You're blocked, brother,

and you'll never escape
this humdrum loser life

of Pert Plus 2-In-1 until
you remember what happened.

Have you been here before?

Luckily I brought brought visual
aids to jog the old noodle.

Wondering what lies
beneath this 1980s raincoat?

Ba-boom!

My old Umbro shorts
and Hypercolor tank.

Still works. Put your hand on it.

It'll change colors.

You broke my shirt, Tommy.

You owe me a new one.

What's this?

Our old scrapbook?

We'd be crazy not to take a look.

Don't look down, Tommy.

My shorts ripped,
and my dick popped out.

Francine! You were right
about the shorts.

Snag me the hand towel
with the cherries

on it from the linen closet.

She should be here soon.

Look at these bad boys!

Okay, yeah.

Now I remember.

Stand up.

I release you, Tommy Shuler.

Now go change your life.

Change the world.

Fly, eagle, fly.

Put it in the car, Francine.

I love it.

I'm a good man

Good man Stan

Righting wrongs wherever I can

What the

Why are you still a loser?

Stan, I appreciate
your interest in me,

but I'm happy here.

I'm not giving up on you,
Tommy Shuler.

Is that the Big Bad Beefer?

I'm gonna take this.

This isn't a Big Bad Beefer.

But it was a Big Bad Beefer.

The beef had just gotten
bunched up behind some lettuce.

"Your new life begins
with a healthy diet.

Love, Stan."

Uch, this guy!

Is heaven-sent?

Wh... What are you guys doing here?

Well, you made me a little
cross last time I saw you.

You made him a lil' cross, Tommy.

- I'm... sorry?
- No, I'm sorry.

I foolishly thought your life
would be a quick fix.

If this is about Subs Galore...

Ey! Nah-nah.

It's bigger than that.

Before we can fix this,
we gotta fix this

and this

so we can fix this.

Damn, was that your spine?

I feel like I just slapped
a Stegosaurus.

His tongue was really dry, too.

That's a good point.

You're a tough man to love, Tommy.

To get the job you want,

you need to dress
for the job you want.

And that job is
Mid-Atlantic regional spokesman

for Kohler toilets.

You have an interview tomorrow.

The big leagues, Tommy. What?

Would you look at that?

Do you know who the best dresser
in the world is, Tommy?

I don't know. You?

I wish. No.

It's every member
of the Cherry Poppin' Daddies.

They'd wear this.

Where's the zoot suit?
It wasn't appropriate.

It's a job interview, Tommy.

You gotta dress like a cartoon wolf.

- Is she okay?
- She's power clowning.

Or so she thinks.

You know, Stan,
I'm actually pretty excited

for this job interview.

It would be a big pay bump,

and if I get it, we'd be done here.

Wouldn't we?

So thank you.

No, Tommy. You're welcome.

Tommy, I gotta say,
you'd be perfect for Kohler.

I look at your face,
and I just think, "Toilet."

Oh, stop it.

You're making me "flush."

That was a very good joke, Tommy.

Screw it. You're hired.

Pardon my interruption, gentlemen,

but I'm the C.E.O. of Mitsubishi,

and I find this man very intriguing.

Would a great job
with a salary of, say,

$10 million interest you?

That's an amazing offer.

Think you got to take it.

I handed you that Kohler job
on a silver platter,

and you blew it. I blew it?

I had it in the bag
until you pulled that stunt.

Stunt? I can't.

Francine, you talk to him.

I don't know, Stan.

I'm afraid of what I might say

because I haven't been
paying attention.

Enough of this. We're done.

I'm going back to Subs Galore.

No, you're not. We burned it down.

What?! Why would you do that?!

I thought you'd be happy.

I burned down your prison.

Why are you so afraid of success?

How can we overcome this?

- I got it.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Stop. Oh, yeah.

I'm liking this.

Cookin' up something
special for you, bud.

Brain's in warp drive right now.

Stan, listen carefully.

I want you to cease
all communication with me.

Gotcha. See you real soon.

I think I'm being a good Roger.

Don't worry, it's me.

Aaaahhh!

Tommy, we're gonna relive
the night of your trauma,

but this time,
I'm gonna do the right thing.

But, Stan, why...

Are you Fat Bastard
and not Freddy Krueger?

Because of mistakes I made
at the costume store.

My God. Is that a real machete?

Zoot suit riot!

Riot!

This is a middle-school
peer pressure situation.

Be brave, Tommy.

We're about to change history.

We are 7th-grade bullies
Pete and Tic Tac Krachowski,

and we only have one question,
Stan Smith.

Very powerful stuff.

Are you with the loser, Tommy Shuler?

I am!

Well, well, well. What is this?

Real teen bullies. Run!

Look at this Fat Bastard loser.

And, Big Chin, are you with him?

Are you his friend?!

I am not.

Tommy, I'm sorry.

My instincts just took over,

but I'll fix it.

We'll re-enact everything
again tomorrow.

This is never gonna end, is it?

Hard to tell, Tommy.

Stan! Enough!

I felt bad for you,
so I let this keep going,

but it was me who didn't stick
up for you in middle school.

What are you talking about?
You got the memory reversed.

That can't be.

Do you really not remember?

Well, how 'bout it?

You out here with Smith?

What? That loser?

No way.

Wahhhhhhh!

I was the loser.

I am the loser!

Wahhhhhhhhh!

So ashamed.

So hungry.

And he was so ashamed and so hungry

because ever since he realized

he was the loser
and not Tommy Shuler,

he'd been hiding in the woods,
afraid to show his loser face.

Where is this guy going?
Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Something's about to happen.

I can't even catch an otter.

What a loser.

You're not a loser, Stan.

You're coming home with me, Stan.

Where'd you learn
to hog-tie like that?

I learned it from watching you...

Tube.

I learned it from watching YouTube.

Solid website.

How can you be a loser?

You're an elite C.I.A. agent.

I haven't even, like,
done a C.I.A. thing

in, like, a while.

Oh, honey.

You need a hug.

From the wife of Langley's
most infamous loser?

That little sucker's fast.

He ran right back into the woods.

And the woods?

Those are close.

I've been saying this for years.

The woods are super-close.

Roger?

What's causing all this fog?

36 humidifiers.

I got them from a Mariah Carey
estate sale.

Because you're sick.

Nearly sick. It's coming.

Yeah. So, Stan had
the sub guy memory reversed,

and now he keeps crying
and running into the woods.

What should I do?

Well, it appears Stan's
conflated his current self-worth

with childhood feelings
of inadequacy.

You need to boost his confidence.

What if I get
his childhood friends together

to show him
he's doing better than them?

- I could do a middle-school reunion!
- Okay.

Hello!

Gotcha. Now tell me
where the yummy flies are.

Am I in heaven?

I must be.

Because there's my angel suit.

Oh, no! It's you.

Stan, I'm gonna prove
to you that you're not a loser.

I organized a middle-school reunion.

Was the zoot suit just a trap?

No, it was the bait.

Because you like it.

I do!

Stan, remember?

We don't seek safety
in the woods anymore.

I just like knowing where they are.

One thing's for sure...

You'll have the best-looking
lady on your arm.

Best body, maybe.

Stan.

Scotty Halas.

So, what are you up to these days?

I'm in medical supplies.

Sounds boring.

Right, Stan?

Oh, it is.

You'd think getting acquired
for $2 billion

would be exciting,
but it's all paperwork.

He's successful, Francine.

I own my own advertising agency.

I'm a former model
turned hooker for models.

I found $1 million in the woods.

The woods? Where?

It was next to the otter.

That's where I was.

It was inside the log.

But, like, a long time ago, right?

No. Just this morning.

I wasn't gonna come to the reunion

because I felt shame about my life,

but now I feel proud
because of what I achieved

in the woods earlier today.

Today!

Stan, I just wanted to
apologize again for everything.

I should apologize.

I cost you your job.

I guess we're both losers.

Not exactly.

Full disclosure... I own Subs Galore.

Every location.

It's kind of a Buffett Situation.

Look who it is, Tic Tac.

Smith, you came to your
middle-school reunion alone,

like a loser?

No. I'm here with my wife.

You mean Palmela Handerson?

- No, her.
- Wait a minute.

This smokin' hot hard body
is with you?

Hey, hard body, are you
really with this loser?

That loser?

No way.

Stan! I'm sorry!

Come back!

Good thing I had the tailors
at Men's Wearhouse

sew a shock collar into his suit.

Aaahh!

They're truly the best
in the business.

Stan, please say something.

Hey, hard body,
are you really with this loser?

That loser? No way.

That loser? No way.

That loser? No way.

That loser? No way.

Hey, hard body, are you
really with this loser?

That loser? No way.

Francine, I owe you an apology.

You do?

Back there, when I said
I wasn't with you,

I actually was with you.

I forgive you.

Choooo!

And so it begins.

Bye! Have a great time!