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1
00:00:15,948 --> 00:00:18,893
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
2
00:00:18,928 --> 00:00:23,944
Hello, we're back! We're back,
thank you so much, everybody.
3
00:00:23,979 --> 00:00:26,889
Thank you. Thank you.
4
00:00:26,924 --> 00:00:32,996
Now, as we know, there's a financial
crisis going on at the moment.
5
00:00:33,031 --> 00:00:38,865
But we've decided not
to take part in it.
6
00:00:38,900 --> 00:00:43,916
So, coming up now is a taster of what
you can expect over the coming weeks.
7
00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:50,920
Three, two, one. Go!
8
00:00:57,976 --> 00:00:59,912
We're wise men. We are.
9
00:01:01,912 --> 00:01:03,960
Crikey, it's the Albanian rozzers!
10
00:01:09,984 --> 00:01:12,908
Look at him tumble!
11
00:01:14,916 --> 00:01:16,992
We may have hit an
Australian quite badly.
12
00:01:18,992 --> 00:01:20,992
We nearly had him!
13
00:01:24,948 --> 00:01:27,924
Couldn't we have murdered
someone a bit smaller?
14
00:01:28,940 --> 00:01:30,960
Top speed? Nobody knows!
15
00:01:33,948 --> 00:01:35,941
The door mirror has come off!
16
00:01:35,976 --> 00:01:38,952
I think he could
be a massive idiot.
17
00:01:39,972 --> 00:01:42,932
Not even a dribble.
18
00:01:43,996 --> 00:01:45,944
Here we go, Roman rallying.
19
00:01:47,936 --> 00:01:49,932
I don't know where it is.
20
00:01:53,972 --> 00:01:55,916
That gap is big enough.
21
00:02:02,968 --> 00:02:05,956
That was quite good.
22
00:02:05,991 --> 00:02:08,909
All that is to come.
23
00:02:08,944 --> 00:02:11,917
But this is now. We must
turn our attention to this.
24
00:02:11,952 --> 00:02:15,950
This is the Transfagarasan
Highway in Romania, and we said
25
00:02:15,985 --> 00:02:19,968
a couple of years ago that this
is the best road in the world.
26
00:02:20,003 --> 00:02:23,917
However, many Americans say, and
they do tend to know everything,
27
00:02:23,952 --> 00:02:28,932
that in fact, the best road in the world
is the Blue Ridge Parkway in Virginia.
28
00:02:29,667 --> 00:02:34,624
So our producers said to us we
should pick any cars we liked,
29
00:02:34,659 --> 00:02:36,660
get over there and try it out.
30
00:02:37,676 --> 00:02:40,682
This is the road
we'll be driving on.
31
00:02:40,717 --> 00:02:43,653
A snaking, 500 mile
ribbon of asphalt,
32
00:02:43,688 --> 00:02:48,164
scything through the lonesome
pines and the soaring peaks.
33
00:02:48,199 --> 00:02:52,640
It looks good. So now let's
meet the cars we'll be using.
34
00:02:54,604 --> 00:02:58,640
This is what I've brought.
It's the Ferrari 458 Italia.
35
00:03:00,644 --> 00:03:04,150
It is, in my view, the best
car they currently make.
36
00:03:04,185 --> 00:03:07,621
And you can't actually
argue about this, Clarkson,
37
00:03:07,656 --> 00:03:12,664
because you said on the television that it
was magnificent and one of the all-time
greats.
38
00:03:12,699 --> 00:03:18,696
I can argue, and I will, because
although this is an excellent car,
39
00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:22,688
it's not quite as excellent
as the car I've brought along,
40
00:03:22,723 --> 00:03:27,612
which is this, the Mercedes SLS.
41
00:03:32,608 --> 00:03:35,640
They're both wrong, because
I've brought the best car.
42
00:03:35,675 --> 00:03:37,672
I've brought the
Porsche 911 GT3RS...
43
00:03:40,636 --> 00:03:43,628
.. which is the best 911,
and therefore the best car.
44
00:03:43,663 --> 00:03:45,641
That's an end of it. Hammond. What?
45
00:03:45,676 --> 00:03:48,661
What you've brought, mate,
is a knife to a gunfight.
46
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:53,600
How do you make that out? Let me
explain, OK?Premiership, Premiership,
47
00:03:53,635 --> 00:03:56,649
Johnstone's Paint Trophy.
How much is it? Exactly.
48
00:03:56,684 --> 00:04:01,608
You think about it. It's half the price
of the other two. How much is it? 104,000.
49
00:04:01,643 --> 00:04:02,657
It's not half the price.
50
00:04:02,692 --> 00:04:08,581
Well, pretty much.
How much is yours? 160. Well, yeah.
51
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:12,620
170. And by the time you put anything on it?
Well, 190. There you go.
52
00:04:12,655 --> 00:04:14,597
This is half the price
and still the best.
53
00:04:14,632 --> 00:04:18,684
It's not! We shall see. It's got
stickers on it!Porsche have given it
54
00:04:18,719 --> 00:04:22,605
an unusual little flamboyant
touch, which is rare for Porsche.
55
00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:28,120
Red wheels on a grey car, which isn't bad,
but the calliper's yellow, and that looks
stupid.
56
00:04:28,155 --> 00:04:33,897
You're right, it's a colour disaster! It is.
Oh, I've gone off it, It's a fashion crisis
57
00:04:33,932 --> 00:04:39,640
Can I just say how nice it is to be the
elder statesman here with the grown-up car?
58
00:04:39,675 --> 00:04:42,581
With those doors?
"Look at me, I'm an eagle!"
59
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:47,604
Can you get an extra where you hit a button
and CO2 flows out as you get out in a Darth
Vader costume?
60
00:04:47,639 --> 00:04:48,661
I admit the doors
are a bit show-offy.
61
00:04:48,696 --> 00:04:54,604
But when I close them,
that is pure elegance.
62
00:04:54,639 --> 00:04:57,625
No, that is gigantic,
is what it is.
63
00:04:57,660 --> 00:05:00,577
This appeals to someone who's five.
64
00:05:00,612 --> 00:05:03,640
Yours appeals to someone who's 55 and
thinks it won't work in a minute.
65
00:05:03,675 --> 00:05:07,617
This is for somebody who
has taste, refinement...
66
00:05:07,652 --> 00:05:11,608
No, sorry, it's obvious that
that is a more modern car...
67
00:05:11,643 --> 00:05:13,565
'We could have argued until sunset,
68
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:19,672
'but decided instead to see which was best
with a blast on the Blue Ridge Parkway. '
69
00:05:30,644 --> 00:05:32,620
Here we go!
70
00:05:40,664 --> 00:05:45,624
'However, immediately,
there was a problem. '
71
00:05:47,616 --> 00:05:52,676
Guys? Yeah? Did that signpost
say 35 mph speed limit?
72
00:06:04,608 --> 00:06:08,638
The Blue Ridge Parkway
is 469 miles long.
73
00:06:08,673 --> 00:06:12,668
It can't all be 35 miles
an hour. Can't be!
74
00:06:12,703 --> 00:06:15,585
'I was right. It wasn't. '
75
00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:19,648
It's now 25, 25 miles
an hour here, chaps.
76
00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:21,604
What?!
77
00:06:24,692 --> 00:06:31,604
I'm sure we'll get round here and there
will be another side with a cross, just go
for it.
78
00:06:31,639 --> 00:06:38,612
'But no. It turned out that the fastest
you can ever drive on this road is 45.'
79
00:06:44,688 --> 00:06:49,616
I'm going to put it in the comfort
setting. May as well, really.
80
00:06:49,651 --> 00:06:53,672
'This was hopeless.
So we pulled over for a rethink. '
81
00:06:56,604 --> 00:07:01,616
The problem we've got is we can't go on
because it'll take us 30 years to do 100
yards.
82
00:07:01,651 --> 00:07:04,661
We can't go that way because those
are the woods of North Carolina.
83
00:07:04,696 --> 00:07:08,652
Squeal like a piggy! I don't wantto
squeal like a piggy. It's full of Huron,
84
00:07:08,687 --> 00:07:11,632
who'll cut your head off.
Last of the Mohicans.
85
00:07:11,667 --> 00:07:14,688
That way, down there...
What's over there?
86
00:07:14,723 --> 00:07:16,613
NASCAR country.
87
00:07:16,648 --> 00:07:22,573
Is it? 90% of the world'sNASCAR
teams are in that view.
88
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:27,569
Banjos, Huron. Good ol' boys,
V8s, steaks. Absolutely. V8s.
89
00:07:27,604 --> 00:07:32,636
I'll have a V8 and you'll have a V8and
you... Classics, which is better. It's just
better.
90
00:07:32,671 --> 00:07:38,620
'Freed from the Stannah stairlift
highway, even James went a bit mad. '
91
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:43,652
Yes!
92
00:07:52,644 --> 00:07:55,684
FERRARI ENGINE ACCELERATES
That's a pretty good noise.
93
00:07:55,719 --> 00:07:57,692
PORSCHE ENGINE REVS That isn't.
94
00:07:59,664 --> 00:08:01,668
I've so brought the best car.
95
00:08:05,608 --> 00:08:07,649
That Porsche is no match for this,
96
00:08:07,684 --> 00:08:13,636
the most powerful naturally
aspirated engine in the world.
97
00:08:16,604 --> 00:08:20,608
But there's more to the
SLS than just brute force.
98
00:08:20,643 --> 00:08:22,645
This may look and sound -
99
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:26,616
GRRR! - like a muscle car,
angry, but underneath,
100
00:08:26,651 --> 00:08:29,565
it's very technical.
It's very European.
101
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:34,620
The gearbox is at the back for better
weight distribution, and it's the same
double clutch,
102
00:08:34,655 --> 00:08:38,569
seven-speed box Ferrari
use in the California.
103
00:08:38,604 --> 00:08:42,565
The driveshaft is made from carbon
fibre, so it only weighs four kilograms.
104
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:47,692
The body, the chassis, everything else is
made from aluminium. This car is very light.
105
00:08:51,624 --> 00:08:55,612
This isn't a supercar.
It's a sports car.
106
00:08:55,647 --> 00:08:57,589
It's been lightened, stripped out.
107
00:08:57,624 --> 00:09:02,688
It sacrifices rear seats, yes.
But it just feels alive.
108
00:09:02,723 --> 00:09:05,688
Pure, direct, immediate.
109
00:09:07,612 --> 00:09:10,668
The other two are going to get
all the admiring looks, yes.
110
00:09:10,703 --> 00:09:13,577
But that's my point.
111
00:09:13,612 --> 00:09:17,122
I'm not driving around in this
for other people's benefit.
112
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:20,632
I'm driving around in this
because I love driving it. End.
113
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:27,632
'Meanwhile, in the high-tech Ferrari, the
man from 1947 was having a bit of a
struggle. '
114
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:29,688
James, how are you getting
on with the steering wheel?
115
00:09:33,612 --> 00:09:36,649
You've no idea how
it works, have you?
116
00:09:36,684 --> 00:09:40,174
Don't want to sound old fashioned
or like a stuck in the mud,
117
00:09:40,209 --> 00:09:43,664
but you've got the two paddles to
change the gears, there are six
118
00:09:43,699 --> 00:09:46,633
little switches and buttons
behind for the stereo,
119
00:09:46,668 --> 00:09:49,696
the indicators, they're two buttons
on the wheel, the headlamp,
120
00:09:49,731 --> 00:09:53,671
high and low beam, that's there
and the wipers are there,
121
00:09:53,706 --> 00:09:57,577
the comfort suspension setting,
the engine start button -
122
00:09:57,612 --> 00:10:00,636
all on the steering wheel.
Nothing for the rest of the car to do.
123
00:10:00,671 --> 00:10:03,613
That's all very clever,
that is the modern way...
124
00:10:03,648 --> 00:10:08,664
'As Victor Meldrew droned on, we
plunged deeper into North Carolina.
125
00:10:10,664 --> 00:10:16,616
'The birthplace of what is by far the
world's number one spectator sport.
126
00:10:16,651 --> 00:10:18,600
'NASCAR.'
127
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:24,140
Always wanted to go
to a NASCAR track.
128
00:10:24,175 --> 00:10:27,640
'So we did. And a
rather special one. '
129
00:10:29,660 --> 00:10:33,613
It's not a modern 250,000
seater leviathan.
130
00:10:33,648 --> 00:10:38,652
It's Wilkesboro Speedway,
America's first oval track.
131
00:10:38,687 --> 00:10:40,696
This is where NASCAR began.
132
00:10:42,668 --> 00:10:44,652
Wow!
133
00:10:46,636 --> 00:10:50,676
There is something desperately
spooky about a disused racetrack.
134
00:10:50,711 --> 00:10:54,565
'The historic tarmac
was very tempting,
135
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:58,640
'and luckily, the Mayor and the
lady who runs the track were around,
136
00:10:58,675 --> 00:11:01,656
'so we asked if we could
have a little go. '
137
00:11:01,691 --> 00:11:04,581
If we promise to
behave ourselves...
138
00:11:04,616 --> 00:11:07,565
If you promise.
Just for nostalgia's sake.
139
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,644
Raise your hand. I promise...
I promise... I solemnly promise...
140
00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:13,569
I solemnly promise...
141
00:11:13,604 --> 00:11:15,597
If I wreck, I wreck...
If I wreck, I wreck...
142
00:11:15,632 --> 00:11:18,692
If I die, I die... If I die, I die.
You're good. High-five!
143
00:11:18,727 --> 00:11:22,625
Never high-fived a mayor before.
Right, chaps!
144
00:11:22,660 --> 00:11:28,692
Little drive. I solemnly promised, with my
hand in the air, that we'd wouldn't go fast.
145
00:11:28,727 --> 00:11:32,569
'Sadly, though, we forgot. '
146
00:11:32,604 --> 00:11:35,624
Put it in sport plus. Now let's go!
147
00:11:43,652 --> 00:11:45,680
LEDs, change gear, yes.
148
00:11:48,604 --> 00:11:49,692
Oh, no, we're now actually racing.
149
00:11:53,632 --> 00:11:55,632
We're the thickest
men on God's earth!
150
00:11:55,667 --> 00:11:58,613
'I wasn't being thick, actually.
151
00:11:58,648 --> 00:12:01,624
'I was trying to coax
James into a problem. '
152
00:12:01,692 --> 00:12:04,589
Hammond, what is it that happens
153
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:09,672
when you drive a Ferrari
458 very fast on a hot day?
154
00:12:10,652 --> 00:12:12,641
I believe it catches fire.
155
00:12:12,676 --> 00:12:16,628
Yeah, yeah, only a
few have caught fire.
156
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:20,676
So far - it's only been
on sale a few months -
157
00:12:20,711 --> 00:12:26,565
five Ferrari 458s
have burnt to a crisp
158
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:31,612
because the glue in the rear wheel arches
gets too hot and burns the car out.
159
00:12:31,647 --> 00:12:33,640
Can't imagine James
is relaxing in there.
160
00:12:33,675 --> 00:12:35,625
Thanks for that
161
00:12:35,660 --> 00:12:41,664
'Because my car didn't catch fire,
Jeremy got bored and became a yobbo. '
162
00:12:41,699 --> 00:12:44,652
How do you get the arse
to kick out on this thing?
163
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:48,636
Yes! Ha-ha!
164
00:12:56,608 --> 00:12:58,577
This can only end badly.
165
00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,684
'And with a certain
inevitability, it did. '
166
00:13:02,652 --> 00:13:04,597
Christ!
167
00:13:04,632 --> 00:13:09,609
Well done. Well done. I think that
wedon't need to do any more driving.
168
00:13:09,644 --> 00:13:15,664
However, there was in fact a long way to
go, which meant I needed to replace the
ruined tyre.
169
00:13:15,699 --> 00:13:17,668
The SLS doesn't have a spare.
170
00:13:18,604 --> 00:13:20,629
But then, Boss Hogg stepped in.
171
00:13:20,664 --> 00:13:24,676
This is Robert Johnson, the
Mayor of North Wilkesboro.
172
00:13:24,711 --> 00:13:26,641
Howard Myers, I need your help.
173
00:13:26,676 --> 00:13:31,664
You need to get Tom McNeal back
down to his tyre shop for us
174
00:13:31,699 --> 00:13:36,652
to get a tyre put on this Mercedes.
Have him call me, chop-chop.
175
00:13:36,687 --> 00:13:39,625
I don't think Boris Johnson
would do this for us!
176
00:13:39,660 --> 00:13:43,604
I was just thinking, that was quite
a surprise call from the Mayor!
177
00:13:44,672 --> 00:13:48,616
'Down at the tyre shop, the
fitter only spoke hillbilly. '
178
00:13:48,651 --> 00:13:51,652
I got 04040, it takes a
ramp lamp to change them.
179
00:13:51,687 --> 00:13:54,696
Wassname, used to
be on Main Street...
180
00:13:54,731 --> 00:13:57,696
HE MUMBLES UNINTELLIGIBLY
181
00:13:59,668 --> 00:14:02,629
'Roughly translated, he
didn't have the right tyre.
182
00:14:02,664 --> 00:14:06,656
'So Boss Hogg got back on the phone
and found another man who thought
183
00:14:06,691 --> 00:14:08,645
'he might have something
suitable in stock. '
184
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:14,616
Will they go on those wheels? Yes. Let's
go. It's only a mile down the road. And
he's got these tyres?
185
00:14:14,651 --> 00:14:17,617
Let's go. What, so, like, us go?
186
00:14:17,652 --> 00:14:22,604
Are you going to just leave me?
I thought I would, actually.
187
00:14:22,639 --> 00:14:25,577
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you do.
188
00:14:25,612 --> 00:14:28,684
I don't make a fuss.
Do you like badger bait?
189
00:14:32,604 --> 00:14:36,600
Not going to be the same without the big
ape, is it? What a bin lid, honestly!
190
00:14:36,635 --> 00:14:37,641
He is a yobbo, though, isn't he?
191
00:14:37,676 --> 00:14:41,620
Four laps and he'd trashed
it just by messing about.
192
00:14:41,655 --> 00:14:43,573
He doesn't think ahead.
193
00:14:43,608 --> 00:14:45,628
I can still hear
you, you shortarse!
194
00:14:49,604 --> 00:14:52,692
'While the midget and the pedant
drove on to that night's hotel,
195
00:14:52,727 --> 00:14:55,577
'I pulled in at tyre
shop number two,
196
00:14:55,612 --> 00:14:58,640
'where I hoped the owner would
be easier to understand. '
197
00:14:58,675 --> 00:15:00,593
Do you think this will work?
198
00:15:00,628 --> 00:15:05,668
Oh, yeah. It will? I got a cheating tank
back here, all wired in. It'll shoot out
eight at one time.
199
00:15:08,624 --> 00:15:13,664
'However, in the back, I met a man
who did speak a bit of English.
200
00:15:13,699 --> 00:15:18,632
'He explained how, in the 1940s,
the original NASCAR drivers
201
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:22,593
'had started out as bootleggers
running moonshine. '
202
00:15:22,628 --> 00:15:26,600
So the idea was, you put the big
engines to outrun the police?
203
00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:28,637
Exactly. That was the idea.
204
00:15:28,672 --> 00:15:32,688
And then that's how NASCAR was born,
people racing the cars they'd built for...
205
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:37,577
They built the little dirt
track down there in 1947.
206
00:15:37,612 --> 00:15:41,581
And this was for bootleggers to
just see who had the fastest car?
207
00:15:41,616 --> 00:15:46,616
See who had the fastest car. Thatthey'd
build to outrun the police?Yeah. That's how
it all began?
208
00:15:46,651 --> 00:15:48,613
Then they all started
racing each other.
209
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:53,656
'While I was soaking up the local history,
James and Richard had arrived at the
overnight halt. '
210
00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:56,593
It's not a motel.
It's a bit posher than that.
211
00:15:56,628 --> 00:16:01,600
The villas have actually got
garages on them. That's quite good.
212
00:16:01,635 --> 00:16:05,636
Brookside, isn't it? We're
goingto be in a soap opera. Ace!
213
00:16:05,671 --> 00:16:07,649
MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO
214
00:16:07,684 --> 00:16:11,162
Do you know this song?Steve Earle.
Copperhead Road.
215
00:16:11,197 --> 00:16:14,640
It's all about doing up
cars to run moonshine.
216
00:16:14,675 --> 00:16:15,692
# Copperhead road! #
217
00:16:18,684 --> 00:16:21,645
# Heard mama cryin', knew
something wasn't right
218
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:25,565
# He was headed down to
Knoxville with the weekly load
219
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,680
# You could smell the whiskey
burnin' down Copperhead Road... #
220
00:16:39,676 --> 00:16:44,573
'This was the most memorable
tyre shop I'd ever been to.
221
00:16:44,608 --> 00:16:49,624
'However, nothing they had on the shelves
would fit the Merc's massive rims. '
222
00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:52,581
No. No.
223
00:16:52,616 --> 00:16:56,644
'Which left me with
just one option. '
224
00:16:56,679 --> 00:17:00,637
So, I'm now driving
on a ruined tyre
225
00:17:00,672 --> 00:17:06,640
115 miles to the hotel where we've
been booked into by the producers,
226
00:17:06,675 --> 00:17:08,581
which is in Virginia.
227
00:17:08,616 --> 00:17:10,604
Which is in another state.
228
00:17:14,672 --> 00:17:19,696
With a bit of luck, I'll have fallen
asleep at the wheel when the tyre bursts.
229
00:17:23,144 --> 00:17:25,148
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
230
00:17:27,136 --> 00:17:29,069
We'll pick that up later on.
231
00:17:29,104 --> 00:17:31,180
But now, it's time to do the news.
232
00:17:31,215 --> 00:17:34,133
And the big news is,
233
00:17:34,168 --> 00:17:41,073
James and Richard have both had a
horrible accident with a Flymo.
234
00:17:41,108 --> 00:17:47,140
No, listen! You must have noticed. It was
the end of my mid-life crisis, so I lost
the hair. I'm done.
235
00:17:47,175 --> 00:17:50,149
And you actually think it's ended,
dressed as Adam and the Ants?
236
00:17:50,184 --> 00:17:55,161
He's Sergeant Pepper. I've moved on. What
would you do if I sang out of tune, Hammond?
237
00:17:55,196 --> 00:18:01,112
You can shut up, because in that film, you
looked like Ted Nugent and now you look
like Kojak.
238
00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:03,069
Where's it gone?
239
00:18:03,104 --> 00:18:10,140
It is noticeable, mate. That froma man,
ladies and gentlemen, whopresumably was
bald until puberty.
240
00:18:10,175 --> 00:18:13,085
Thank you. It is traditional
at this time of year
241
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:17,104
that we take a look at some of the
excellent gift items available
242
00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:20,073
this Christmas for the
motorist in your life.
243
00:18:20,108 --> 00:18:22,129
Are you reading from a catalogue?
It sounds that way!
244
00:18:22,164 --> 00:18:27,150
As we've established, in that film,yo
u are a Porsche enthusiast. Yes, I am.
245
00:18:27,185 --> 00:18:32,136
So what I've got for you here isa
Porsche-designed training shoe. Oh-ho!
246
00:18:32,171 --> 00:18:37,188
L310. Ooh! Presumably, if it is
a Porsche, the laces are extra?
247
00:18:37,223 --> 00:18:43,132
Oh, yes. And the soles and this bit.
"Sir wants TWO shoes?"
248
00:18:43,167 --> 00:18:46,097
Two shoes? That's 1,900...
249
00:18:46,132 --> 00:18:50,156
I am indeed a Porsche fan. You are a
Mercedes fan, are you you not? Yes, I am.
250
00:18:50,191 --> 00:18:54,180
You'd be interested in the shirt Mercedes
are encouraging their customers to buy.
251
00:18:54,215 --> 00:18:57,140
I've got one for you here.
Here is the Mercedes shirt.
252
00:18:57,175 --> 00:19:01,104
It's a vest a with
"TRUCKER" written on it.
253
00:19:03,104 --> 00:19:07,136
It's a vest with "TRUCKER" on it. It's not
a Mercedes. It is, it says Mercedes on it.
254
00:19:07,171 --> 00:19:11,132
It's the Bruce Willis look.
Yippie-kay-ay, mother trucker!
255
00:19:11,167 --> 00:19:16,069
Or Rab C Nesbitt. Beer and
egg yolk stains are extra!
256
00:19:16,104 --> 00:19:19,140
I would rather have that than a
Porsche car. Really? I would.
257
00:19:19,175 --> 00:19:22,149
Now, you know those air-fresheners
you can get for cars,
258
00:19:22,184 --> 00:19:26,148
and they're always mountain dew and
spring breeze? Alpine stream...
259
00:19:26,183 --> 00:19:30,133
All they are really is just
mildly scented bottles of sick.
260
00:19:30,168 --> 00:19:36,100
Now, how much better would it be if
your air-freshener smelt of bacon?
261
00:19:36,135 --> 00:19:39,125
Everybody likes... Well, not
Jews and Muslims. Or pigs.
262
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:44,650
Then they'd think they're on fire. Not them.
But nobody can makea bacon air-freshener.
263
00:19:44,685 --> 00:19:50,140
Well, that, you see, is where you're wrong.
Bacon air-freshener. No way!For your car.
264
00:19:50,175 --> 00:19:55,124
That's a proper idea! This is genuinely
a brilliantChristmas present idea.
265
00:19:55,159 --> 00:19:58,184
Let's just pop it open and we
shall invite people to smell...
266
00:19:58,219 --> 00:20:03,100
Smell that. It's bacon.
Just. Ohh! It is bacon.
267
00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:05,121
Seriously, seriously.
It's not fresh bacon.
268
00:20:05,156 --> 00:20:10,109
I actually think this
could cure vegetarianism.
269
00:20:10,144 --> 00:20:15,192
If a vegetarian gets in your car and that's
dangling, they'll want a meat pie in a
jiffy. Brilliant plan.
270
00:20:15,227 --> 00:20:20,108
I would like to make... Moving on, more
Christmas presents. Yes, another gift.
271
00:20:20,143 --> 00:20:23,089
Bachelors, this is important,
pay attention. At some point,
272
00:20:23,124 --> 00:20:28,136
any day soon, you might persuade a lady to
come back to your pad, and at some point in
the evening,
273
00:20:28,171 --> 00:20:33,124
as things are warming up, maybe you'll
going to want to dim the lights, and that
is where...
274
00:20:33,159 --> 00:20:35,097
this comes in.
275
00:20:35,132 --> 00:20:37,161
It's a Bugatti dimmer switch.
276
00:20:37,196 --> 00:20:41,190
She is going to operate that and
immediately take an interest
277
00:20:41,225 --> 00:20:45,149
in what you will look like naked.
Look at that. Oh, it's hot!
278
00:20:45,184 --> 00:20:51,112
At some point she may say to you, the lady,
after she's fiddled with your dimmer switch,
279
00:20:51,147 --> 00:20:55,097
"What time is it?" and you can
produce your steering wheel clock.
280
00:20:55,132 --> 00:21:00,122
Wow! And this will tell her the time
and that you're a motoring enthusiast.
281
00:21:00,157 --> 00:21:04,666
Actually, "Oh dear," she might say,
"I've broken a nail," but that's OK,
282
00:21:04,701 --> 00:21:09,141
because this novelty nail clipper is
in the shape of a car, look at that.
283
00:21:09,176 --> 00:21:14,108
You could try and change the mood. "Would
you like a cup of coffee, my darling?"
284
00:21:14,143 --> 00:21:15,161
And here it is, in this piston mug!
285
00:21:15,196 --> 00:21:19,161
Or, maybe she is a sophisticate
and would like a glass of Chablis,
286
00:21:19,196 --> 00:21:25,140
but that's OK, because you can put it in
this tasteful... sorry... steering wheel
coaster.
287
00:21:25,175 --> 00:21:29,077
Yeah, and it doesn't matter if
she doesn't finish the Chablis,
288
00:21:29,112 --> 00:21:33,196
because this gearstick stopper will keep
it fresh until another lady comes round.
289
00:21:33,231 --> 00:21:36,069
Slick! Slick, yeah!
290
00:21:36,104 --> 00:21:41,196
Sticking with gearsticks, I have a
gearstick toothpick for the lady.
291
00:21:41,231 --> 00:21:44,081
What, that's a toothpick?!
292
00:21:44,116 --> 00:21:49,650
Well, only if you get Esther Rantzenback to
your flat. Yeah. Or Janet Street-Porter.
Either way.
293
00:21:49,685 --> 00:21:55,149
Yes. No, actually, on the subject of Janet
Street-Porter, if you do get a toothy woman
back,
294
00:21:55,184 --> 00:22:02,188
you might want to show them this, which is
a model that you make of an internal
combustion engine.
295
00:22:02,223 --> 00:22:07,085
She's going to be wowed. Yes. Now,
here's one I made earlier. There we are.
296
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:13,124
You draw the lady over, she's seen you
dimmer switch, and she can see the pistons
going up and down.
297
00:22:13,159 --> 00:22:17,129
Look at that. And you can see the spark
plugs flashing if I push that light.
298
00:22:17,164 --> 00:22:21,100
Mate, that is going to work better than
a dozen oysters. She's going to be hot!
299
00:22:21,135 --> 00:22:23,133
She'll be pawing the ground by now!
300
00:22:23,168 --> 00:22:25,161
It's working.
Would that do it for you?
301
00:22:25,196 --> 00:22:30,160
Yeah. You are in for a whole night of suck,
squeeze, bang, blow with that, aren't you?
302
00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:35,136
What, is that the right order?
303
00:22:35,171 --> 00:22:37,121
It is for that.
304
00:22:37,156 --> 00:22:41,156
Ah, now, Rich, would
you like some pussy?
305
00:22:41,191 --> 00:22:42,153
LAUGHTER
306
00:22:42,188 --> 00:22:47,144
Well, it wasn't on my mind
right now, it is now. I... Eh?
307
00:22:47,179 --> 00:22:49,120
Pussy, energy drink.
308
00:22:50,172 --> 00:22:53,116
I see! I did wonder.
What flavour is it?
309
00:22:53,151 --> 00:22:55,113
Flavour?
310
00:22:55,148 --> 00:22:57,157
Leave it! Leave it!
311
00:22:57,192 --> 00:22:59,113
Steady on, man. Leave it!
312
00:22:59,148 --> 00:23:01,654
Yeah, moving on.
I'd like to introduce something
313
00:23:01,689 --> 00:23:04,410
for which I thought, "I'm
going to struggle to find
314
00:23:04,445 --> 00:23:07,097
a motoring application,
" because what it is is,
315
00:23:07,132 --> 00:23:10,089
this machine is controlled
by your iPhone with an app
316
00:23:10,124 --> 00:23:13,113
and it flies up in the air and
there's a camera on it, there.
317
00:23:13,148 --> 00:23:17,164
I thought, "Hang on, that could be very
useful". Imagine if you're in a traffic
jam, yeah?
318
00:23:17,199 --> 00:23:21,100
You're wondering what's caused it
open the sunroof, send this out...
319
00:23:21,135 --> 00:23:22,101
So it's like a traffic drone?
320
00:23:22,136 --> 00:23:25,164
It sends a picture to your
phone so you can have a look.
321
00:23:25,199 --> 00:23:27,673
"Oh, that's what's caused
it, I'll turn round".
322
00:23:27,708 --> 00:23:30,113
So you know what we're on
about, this is the phone.
323
00:23:30,148 --> 00:23:33,666
Hold it up. So it's sending a
picture to this telephone of me,
324
00:23:33,701 --> 00:23:37,420
so you can fly it about and
control it from your telephone.
325
00:23:37,455 --> 00:23:41,140
How brilliant is that?
Now, this is around, what is it?
326
00:23:41,175 --> 00:23:43,129
L300 or so. So it's
quite a lot of money,
327
00:23:43,164 --> 00:23:47,129
but it is actually very easy
to fly, as I'm going to...
328
00:23:47,164 --> 00:23:51,100
Are you sure you should be doing this?
Yes, I'm the man for the job.
329
00:23:51,135 --> 00:23:54,627
Given your inability to do
anything technical. There it goes.
330
00:23:54,662 --> 00:23:58,120
Oh god! People are going to get hurt.
Look at this! No, no!
331
00:23:59,164 --> 00:24:01,188
Tilt the phone forwards...
332
00:24:01,223 --> 00:24:03,129
I'm genuinely scared!
333
00:24:03,164 --> 00:24:06,640
Now go backwards... No! No! No!
334
00:24:06,675 --> 00:24:10,116
No! No! I've hit the lighting.
335
00:24:10,151 --> 00:24:12,143
Oh, great!
336
00:24:12,178 --> 00:24:14,101
APPLAUSE
337
00:24:14,136 --> 00:24:17,157
Now you've fused the lights.
338
00:24:17,192 --> 00:24:21,128
Yes, you've fused the lights.
It actually says "cut out emergency"
339
00:24:21,163 --> 00:24:23,097
on the screen.
'Get a spark to the set. '
340
00:24:23,132 --> 00:24:26,128
There you go, you've broken
the studio. No, no, no...
341
00:24:26,163 --> 00:24:27,161
You've broken it!
342
00:24:27,196 --> 00:24:30,093
I've broken it a bit,
but I think, listen...
343
00:24:30,128 --> 00:24:33,172
No, no, no, I've got this.
Well, that's not going to work, is it?
344
00:24:33,207 --> 00:24:36,081
That's fine, that's not
at all distracting.
345
00:24:36,116 --> 00:24:39,117
What about that? Brian, has
that really fused the lights?
346
00:24:39,152 --> 00:24:44,120
'Yes, it has. ' Listen, we've got a million
motoring-related candles here, we'll just
light these.
347
00:24:44,155 --> 00:24:46,065
Light some candles,
that'll do nicely.
348
00:24:46,100 --> 00:24:49,160
Let's make it a Christmas scene,
plus candles will make it warmer...
349
00:24:49,195 --> 00:24:51,077
Ow, I've set fire to my thumb.
350
00:24:51,112 --> 00:24:53,133
This is very nice and...
Oh, hang on.
351
00:24:53,168 --> 00:24:57,089
Hold a candle up near where you
are and then we can see you.
352
00:24:57,124 --> 00:25:00,152
Are we all right? Can you see us all right?
Are we on the screen?
353
00:25:00,187 --> 00:25:01,691
I think this is better!
354
00:25:01,726 --> 00:25:03,161
This is quite nice.
355
00:25:03,196 --> 00:25:07,157
Normally at this point in the programme
we would have a high-performance car
356
00:25:07,192 --> 00:25:13,120
out on the track and the Stig would be
sitting a time in it for us, but we can't
because he's gone.
357
00:25:13,155 --> 00:25:16,145
He has. Stig has gone. Yeah.
358
00:25:16,180 --> 00:25:19,136
We're like Genesis now.
We're not like Genesis!
359
00:25:19,171 --> 00:25:21,144
We are, and then there were three.
360
00:25:21,179 --> 00:25:23,109
I hate Genesis!
361
00:25:23,144 --> 00:25:25,137
I hate the Stig. Well, yeah.
362
00:25:25,172 --> 00:25:28,160
Mind you, at least we
know his real name now.
363
00:25:28,195 --> 00:25:31,104
What? Judas Iscariot.
364
00:25:31,139 --> 00:25:32,157
LAUGHTER
365
00:25:32,192 --> 00:25:35,145
Very festive. Well, it
would be if it was Easter.
366
00:25:35,180 --> 00:25:39,172
The thing is though, I think he's broken
the first rule we learn at school.
367
00:25:39,207 --> 00:25:42,683
Never take your jumper off while
you're having a cigarette?
368
00:25:42,718 --> 00:25:45,927
No, no, no, he has broken -
"never rat on your friend".
369
00:25:45,962 --> 00:25:49,136
Actually, the other way,
never cat on your friends.
370
00:25:49,171 --> 00:25:51,069
No, it's rat, not cat. Cat.
371
00:25:51,104 --> 00:25:54,116
Cats are disloyal.
No they're not. They are!
372
00:25:54,151 --> 00:25:55,161
Well, they're not. Well, they are.
373
00:25:55,196 --> 00:25:59,089
I've got a cat, I've had him for
13 years, he's perfectly loyal.
374
00:25:59,124 --> 00:26:03,152
I guarantee, if you got stuck in a
snowdrift with your cat he would eat you.
375
00:26:03,187 --> 00:26:05,105
Rucksack would not eat me.
376
00:26:05,140 --> 00:26:07,085
You've got a cat and you agree.
377
00:26:07,120 --> 00:26:12,093
Yeah, that cat you gave me,
Richard Hammond... hates me.
378
00:26:12,128 --> 00:26:16,077
I can't do anything about that, neither
can I blame the cat, to be honest.
379
00:26:16,112 --> 00:26:20,192
The fact is, if I was only three inches
tall but the same person, the cat would
kill me.
380
00:26:20,227 --> 00:26:23,104
I don't like cats
because they... What?
381
00:26:23,139 --> 00:26:25,135
There's a fire.
382
00:26:25,170 --> 00:26:26,683
I had some notes...
383
00:26:26,718 --> 00:26:28,429
Just put it in there.
384
00:26:28,464 --> 00:26:30,105
Sorry. Put it in there.
385
00:26:30,140 --> 00:26:34,172
Just get rid of it.
It's gone, there, it's gone.
386
00:26:34,207 --> 00:26:37,073
Forget the fire. It's no big deal.
387
00:26:37,108 --> 00:26:40,188
Cats, you were saying.
Cats, what they do is they find...
388
00:26:40,223 --> 00:26:42,120
They...
389
00:26:43,132 --> 00:26:44,149
That's worse!
390
00:26:44,184 --> 00:26:46,069
You've set fire to the tree.
391
00:26:46,104 --> 00:26:50,140
It's worse! The tree's going up,
stand back, that's quite dangerous!
392
00:26:50,175 --> 00:26:52,141
Get back every...
Can I suggest we move on?
393
00:26:52,176 --> 00:26:57,120
No, seriously, I've got to
save the television, you idiot.
394
00:26:57,155 --> 00:26:59,164
Pour some Pussy on it.
That's a good idea.
395
00:26:59,199 --> 00:27:02,136
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
396
00:27:05,176 --> 00:27:10,128
Yes! I've put the Christmas
tree out with some Pussy.
397
00:27:10,163 --> 00:27:11,097
Well done.
398
00:27:11,132 --> 00:27:14,148
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
399
00:27:22,188 --> 00:27:25,093
Well, let's get back to our film.
400
00:27:25,128 --> 00:27:28,137
Because Jeremy,
annoyingly, had managed
401
00:27:28,172 --> 00:27:31,125
to nurse his Mercedes
with a ruined rear tyre
402
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:36,116
to the hotel in Virginia, and we pick
up the action the following morning.
403
00:27:38,132 --> 00:27:42,188
We were woken early, partly by the
noise at the front of our chalet,
404
00:27:42,223 --> 00:27:45,132
and partly by the
noise at the back.
405
00:27:51,124 --> 00:27:53,093
Sorry, James.
406
00:27:53,128 --> 00:27:54,660
It didn't open. Morning.
407
00:27:54,695 --> 00:27:56,157
Morning. How are you?
408
00:27:56,192 --> 00:27:58,149
Great. What is this about?
409
00:27:58,184 --> 00:28:03,140
It was the man with the strimmer at
half five I liked. What? Oh, yeah.
410
00:28:03,175 --> 00:28:06,093
I know, it's a new range,
they're ever so fashionable.
411
00:28:06,128 --> 00:28:10,116
That's very funny. Chaps, there's
a racetrack in the garden.
412
00:28:11,180 --> 00:28:14,129
'There are golf resorts
and skiing resorts,
413
00:28:14,164 --> 00:28:17,158
'but this is a motor
racing resort, a hotel with
414
00:28:17,193 --> 00:28:20,117
'tea and coffee-making
facilities in the rooms,
415
00:28:20,152 --> 00:28:24,140
'and in the garden, the
Virginia International Raceway.
416
00:28:26,132 --> 00:28:29,176
'Paul Newman described this place
as heaven on earth, so we've put
417
00:28:29,211 --> 00:28:33,665
'new tyres on the SLS
and went for a spin. '
418
00:28:33,700 --> 00:28:38,120
OK, here we go.
Virginia International Raceway.
419
00:28:43,140 --> 00:28:45,152
Right, red light's coming on.
420
00:28:46,168 --> 00:28:49,196
Gear changes are just
spectacularly good.
421
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:53,149
There's some very clever
aerodynamics stuff on this.
422
00:28:53,184 --> 00:28:58,116
Those little moustache things on the
front, the rubbery bits you can see
423
00:28:58,151 --> 00:29:02,157
on the grill, they actually
deform at speed, and that way they
424
00:29:02,192 --> 00:29:06,164
improve the air flow and increase
the downforce at the same time.
425
00:29:09,100 --> 00:29:10,132
Now, watch this.
426
00:29:11,156 --> 00:29:14,168
James has gone off like
a scalded proverbial.
427
00:29:16,112 --> 00:29:20,640
'The Porsche has 450 horsepower,
110 less than the Ferrari,
428
00:29:20,675 --> 00:29:25,133
'but I was confident that, despite
this, I could catch James. '
429
00:29:25,168 --> 00:29:29,180
That mechanical grip, everything working
to keep those back wheels on the deck.
430
00:29:29,215 --> 00:29:34,132
The wing, the tyres, and, of
course, where the engine is.
431
00:29:34,167 --> 00:29:37,148
This is a track-bred car,
this is what it's for.
432
00:29:39,176 --> 00:29:43,192
'The SLS, on the other hand,
is not a track-bred car. '
433
00:29:43,227 --> 00:29:47,124
Looks like a big corner.
How hard can it be?
434
00:29:48,136 --> 00:29:51,093
Oh, deary me!
435
00:29:51,128 --> 00:29:53,161
I may have got the
tail out a bit there.
436
00:29:53,196 --> 00:29:57,120
Richard's Porsche, that was
designed specifically...
437
00:29:57,155 --> 00:29:59,128
Oh, heavens above!
438
00:30:01,116 --> 00:30:02,149
How can I have gone off?
439
00:30:02,184 --> 00:30:07,128
It's just so insanely tail-happy.
440
00:30:08,156 --> 00:30:09,133
'Further up the track,
441
00:30:09,168 --> 00:30:13,108
'my little Porsche was
closing in on the Ferrari. '
442
00:30:14,180 --> 00:30:17,112
Go, go, go, go, go! Catch him.
443
00:30:20,136 --> 00:30:22,168
The Ferrari's got the legs
on me on the straight.
444
00:30:22,203 --> 00:30:25,101
Nothing I can do about that.
445
00:30:25,136 --> 00:30:29,172
'My only chance, then, was to
catch him in the corners. '
446
00:30:29,207 --> 00:30:32,113
Carbon ceramic brakes, not fading.
447
00:30:32,148 --> 00:30:36,168
Boy am I glad at that, because this
is some punishment they're getting.
448
00:30:38,100 --> 00:30:40,192
'Meanwhile, in the dog
with the waggly tail... '
449
00:30:44,112 --> 00:30:47,077
Oh, my God!
450
00:30:47,112 --> 00:30:51,093
Every time you go near the
throttle, the back's out.
451
00:30:51,128 --> 00:30:56,104
'But actually, I couldn't care less
about catching Richard and James. '
452
00:30:56,139 --> 00:30:59,065
This is the thing about this car...
453
00:30:59,100 --> 00:31:04,137
You can hurl it about, smoke
pouring from the rear end,
454
00:31:04,172 --> 00:31:08,184
and you're going unbelievably slowly,
but with a massive smile on your face.
455
00:31:09,104 --> 00:31:11,112
That is the AMG way.
456
00:31:15,108 --> 00:31:17,112
Ha-ha!
457
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:21,144
They're quicker than
me, but I'm laughing!
458
00:31:21,179 --> 00:31:23,184
And I bet they're not!
459
00:31:25,136 --> 00:31:28,192
'I was right. Because their
race was getting serious. '
460
00:31:28,227 --> 00:31:30,168
Braking, you idiot! Ooh, BLEEP!
461
00:31:30,203 --> 00:31:33,100
There you go.
462
00:31:34,132 --> 00:31:37,144
Gaining a little bit there.
463
00:31:37,179 --> 00:31:38,168
Go on!
464
00:31:40,136 --> 00:31:41,188
Blind hill!
465
00:31:41,223 --> 00:31:45,148
Argh!
466
00:31:47,152 --> 00:31:50,176
Seemed slow through
there, James. Ho-ho-ho!
467
00:31:53,108 --> 00:31:55,156
Hammond's going to be chuffed.
468
00:31:56,156 --> 00:31:59,172
No! Ooh, could have had him there.
469
00:32:02,108 --> 00:32:03,192
Come on. Keep with him.
470
00:32:06,172 --> 00:32:08,192
Keep the power on
til over this one.
471
00:32:12,140 --> 00:32:13,192
That's a big one.
472
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:22,100
Yeah, that might, that
might have put me out.
473
00:32:22,135 --> 00:32:25,113
Ye-es! As we know, viewers,
474
00:32:25,148 --> 00:32:27,196
staying on the track
is all part of racing.
475
00:32:29,128 --> 00:32:33,120
'So even with Captain Slow at the
wheel, the Ferrari ruled the track.
476
00:32:33,155 --> 00:32:37,172
'And Jeremy, who had gone through
yet another set of tyres... '
477
00:32:37,207 --> 00:32:39,176
Good to see he's learning
at his usual rate.
478
00:32:39,211 --> 00:32:43,101
'.. was typically
gracious in defeat. '
479
00:32:43,136 --> 00:32:46,160
Obviously on the straight,I co
uld easily have you. Could you?
480
00:32:46,195 --> 00:32:48,679
Yeah. On a straight line
this will munch you.
481
00:32:48,714 --> 00:32:51,164
I don't think it will.
I could walk past you.
482
00:32:51,199 --> 00:32:53,085
I don't know, you see.
483
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:56,065
Do you want L5 on it?
On television?
484
00:32:56,100 --> 00:32:59,636
L5 says that in a straight
line, drag race, I have you.
485
00:32:59,671 --> 00:33:03,137
'But before we could do the
race, a challenge arrived. '
486
00:33:03,172 --> 00:33:08,152
"At this racetrack you can do
so much more than race your car.
487
00:33:08,187 --> 00:33:12,185
"You can also, for
instance, learn...
488
00:33:12,220 --> 00:33:16,149
"Learn how to do a
drive-by shooting.
489
00:33:16,184 --> 00:33:19,658
"To see which of your cars
has the most stable ride,
490
00:33:19,693 --> 00:33:23,132
"an instructor will drive
while you shoot at a target
491
00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:25,176
"through the passenger window. "
492
00:33:25,211 --> 00:33:27,129
I didn't see that coming!
493
00:33:27,164 --> 00:33:32,132
Quite clever, if you think about it,
because if it's bumpy... It works.
494
00:33:32,167 --> 00:33:35,109
How big's the target? Are we
allowed to open the window first?
495
00:33:35,144 --> 00:33:39,120
We'll choose the target, I think, gentlemen.
We'll choose the target.
496
00:33:39,155 --> 00:33:42,145
First, though, we were
given weapons training
497
00:33:42,180 --> 00:33:45,136
which made Jeremy Van
Damme very excited.
498
00:33:45,171 --> 00:33:48,120
Insert it in the bottom firmly.
499
00:33:48,155 --> 00:33:49,137
GUNS CLICK
500
00:33:49,172 --> 00:33:51,085
Oh! I Like that!
501
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:55,104
With a good grip, it's going to,
in a sense, not kick up so much.
502
00:33:55,139 --> 00:33:57,109
Nice and firm grip, and
as you punch straight out,
503
00:33:57,144 --> 00:34:02,148
sight in on the target, and you
hold it up on the target, fire!
504
00:34:02,183 --> 00:34:04,085
GUNFIRE
505
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:05,089
In the throat!
506
00:34:05,124 --> 00:34:08,081
GUNFIRE Got him in the
heartand the spleen.
507
00:34:08,116 --> 00:34:12,124
'Eventually it was time to
tear Van Clarkson away... '
508
00:34:12,159 --> 00:34:13,117
Got him in the face!
509
00:34:13,152 --> 00:34:16,184
'.. because it was time
to put up the targets. '
510
00:34:20,152 --> 00:34:22,141
'And then work out
a scoring system. '
511
00:34:22,176 --> 00:34:28,160
50, 50, 100, 10. That's probably
the industry standard somewhere.
512
00:34:30,124 --> 00:34:33,120
'Magnum PI was the first to go. '
513
00:34:33,155 --> 00:34:36,116
He's got to go for testes.
He will do.
514
00:34:36,151 --> 00:34:38,077
GUNFIRE
515
00:34:38,112 --> 00:34:39,650
Going for the plums.
516
00:34:39,685 --> 00:34:41,153
Going for the torso.
517
00:34:41,188 --> 00:34:44,188
He got his arse, he
shot him in the arse!
518
00:34:44,223 --> 00:34:47,077
And the elbow! Ha-ha!
519
00:34:47,112 --> 00:34:51,120
'Hammond was next, but first he
wanted to make some adjustments. '
520
00:34:51,155 --> 00:34:52,161
What's he doing?
521
00:34:52,196 --> 00:34:55,085
What's are you doing?
Turning him round.
522
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:59,148
Why? So I can shoot him in the back!
Because that's how it's done -
523
00:34:59,183 --> 00:35:00,117
in the back!
524
00:35:00,152 --> 00:35:03,196
So he'll be having a normal day,
thinking everything's going fine...
525
00:35:03,231 --> 00:35:08,108
Thinking about seeing his mates,
and doing something together,
526
00:35:08,143 --> 00:35:10,168
and then he'll be shot in the back!
527
00:35:12,140 --> 00:35:14,160
That's what I thought
would be nice to do.
528
00:35:18,132 --> 00:35:21,116
He looks like Don Johnson
out of Miami Vice.
529
00:35:21,151 --> 00:35:22,124
He does, actually.
530
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,140
RAPID GUNFIRE
531
00:35:29,176 --> 00:35:31,684
Wow! It's disturbing, isn't it?
532
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:34,157
A man who lives in the countryside,
533
00:35:34,192 --> 00:35:37,164
drives a Land-Rover, and
is that good with a gun.
534
00:35:37,199 --> 00:35:39,649
I went to art college, you know.
535
00:35:39,684 --> 00:35:42,065
May have been wasting my time.
536
00:35:42,100 --> 00:35:48,120
'It then turned out that the SLS had
clearly been designed with drive-by
shootings in mind. '
537
00:35:49,176 --> 00:35:53,188
Yeah, I didn't think of that.
What pistol's he supposed to be using?
538
00:35:53,223 --> 00:35:57,120
Safety is off.
539
00:35:59,180 --> 00:36:02,108
INTENSE GUNFIRE
540
00:36:06,188 --> 00:36:09,065
I'm on fire! Ow! BLEEP!
541
00:36:09,100 --> 00:36:13,132
'Once Jeremy had been put
out, we totted up my score. '
542
00:36:13,167 --> 00:36:15,141
You've got him in the stomach.
543
00:36:15,176 --> 00:36:18,686
That's so close to the
testes in this area.
544
00:36:18,721 --> 00:36:22,432
So, James May, you
have scored 80 points.
545
00:36:22,467 --> 00:36:26,144
'The backwoodsman,
however, did even better. '
546
00:36:26,179 --> 00:36:28,675
50. You've got a head shot. 145.
547
00:36:28,710 --> 00:36:31,437
'Then it was Jeremy's turn. '
548
00:36:31,472 --> 00:36:34,164
So it's 100 for the plums shot.
549
00:36:34,199 --> 00:36:37,691
20, 30, 40, 50,
550
00:36:37,726 --> 00:36:40,961
175, 205, 210...
551
00:36:40,996 --> 00:36:44,161
245 points...
552
00:36:44,196 --> 00:36:52,156
in the ride test Stig-shootingdrive-by
competition. Yes.
553
00:36:55,144 --> 00:36:58,180
The next morning we were told
to head to New York City.
554
00:36:58,215 --> 00:37:02,144
A lifetime away thanks to
the insane speed limits.
555
00:37:05,112 --> 00:37:06,140
James?
556
00:37:06,175 --> 00:37:07,133
Yeah?
557
00:37:07,168 --> 00:37:09,145
'I'm bored. '
558
00:37:09,180 --> 00:37:11,153
'I was just thinking exactly that,
559
00:37:11,188 --> 00:37:14,172
'but I was too bored to pick
up the radio to say it. '
560
00:37:14,207 --> 00:37:15,161
'Shall we see...
561
00:37:15,196 --> 00:37:20,148
'No, we mustn't see who's got
the fastest car here, must we?'
562
00:37:20,183 --> 00:37:25,073
I tell you what, let's
have a race from 45-55mph.
563
00:37:25,108 --> 00:37:28,124
Right. That's a good idea.
The shortest race in history.
564
00:37:28,159 --> 00:37:29,196
Right, Hammond, give us a cue.
565
00:37:29,231 --> 00:37:32,192
Ready, and go!
566
00:37:35,128 --> 00:37:36,132
'I won. '
567
00:37:38,164 --> 00:37:40,145
That is not a spectator sport.
568
00:37:40,180 --> 00:37:45,124
'Right, Hammond, you come up
front, and we'll have SLS vs. 911.'
569
00:37:45,159 --> 00:37:47,101
'Starter's orders, gentlemen. '
570
00:37:47,136 --> 00:37:50,136
At 45-55 Racing, here from
the state of Virginia -
571
00:37:50,171 --> 00:37:53,112
3, 2, 1, go!
572
00:37:54,168 --> 00:37:55,149
Yes!
573
00:37:55,184 --> 00:38:00,089
My new motor sport kept us
entertained until lunchtime, when
574
00:38:00,124 --> 00:38:05,168
we asked the sat-nav in Jeremy's
Mercedes to find us a restaurant.
575
00:38:05,203 --> 00:38:08,133
Right, restaurants.
African cuisine,
576
00:38:08,168 --> 00:38:11,184
Austrian, Balkan, Belgian.
What do you want?
577
00:38:11,219 --> 00:38:14,164
I want Balkan. Get me Balkan.
578
00:38:17,100 --> 00:38:21,108
Sadly there weren't any of
those restaurants in Virginia.
579
00:38:23,148 --> 00:38:25,133
Small Coke. Small Coke, thanks.
580
00:38:25,168 --> 00:38:28,105
You know, I discovered a
flaw with the American way.
581
00:38:28,140 --> 00:38:32,136
You can buy a small coke, which
is, like, a dollar, or a big one,
582
00:38:32,171 --> 00:38:35,665
which is 2, because you get
more, but you get free refills.
583
00:38:35,700 --> 00:38:39,426
So, why would you buy a big one
unless you were a bit thick?
584
00:38:39,461 --> 00:38:43,152
I can't take him seriously in
those sunglasses. No, I can't.
585
00:38:43,187 --> 00:38:46,164
Oh, sorry. Damn, I've
come on another film shoot
586
00:38:46,199 --> 00:38:48,108
with two style gurus.
587
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:55,676
After lunch we made a small
detour to Washington DC
588
00:38:55,711 --> 00:38:59,192
which was nothing like
it appears in the films.
589
00:38:59,227 --> 00:39:02,160
SIRENS BLARE
590
00:39:08,124 --> 00:39:09,140
O... K!
591
00:39:12,132 --> 00:39:15,188
Is that man walking along
playing with his testicles?
592
00:39:22,116 --> 00:39:26,085
So, we left again.
Ploughing towards Maryland,
593
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:31,120
where James and Jeremy decided
to settle their wager.
594
00:39:31,155 --> 00:39:32,665
James, look at that.
595
00:39:32,700 --> 00:39:34,922
That sign. Drag racing.
596
00:39:34,957 --> 00:39:37,109
'You're on - let's do it. '
597
00:39:37,144 --> 00:39:40,176
Not a lot of point in Hammond's
taking part in this because his
598
00:39:40,211 --> 00:39:44,180
trophy car is no match
for the Premiership here.
599
00:39:44,215 --> 00:39:46,172
This is a big battle
we're about to do.
600
00:39:46,207 --> 00:39:50,156
Ferrari vs. AMG. Ha-ha!
601
00:39:51,196 --> 00:39:54,065
'The raceway was
extremely slippery. '
602
00:39:54,100 --> 00:39:56,168
But both our cars were
fitted with sophisticated
603
00:39:56,203 --> 00:39:58,661
launch control systems.
604
00:39:58,696 --> 00:40:01,085
Right. Put it in drive.
605
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:05,140
Engage the sport setting
on the traction control.
606
00:40:05,175 --> 00:40:09,125
Turn everything off, then
you select first gear.
607
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:14,116
Turn the gearbox all the way round.
Confirm I want it.
608
00:40:14,151 --> 00:40:17,172
Press this button, PS.
Then, woomph! Off I go.
609
00:40:17,207 --> 00:40:19,133
'The idea of launch control is
610
00:40:19,168 --> 00:40:22,196
'to minimise wheelspin in
conditions like these. '
611
00:40:22,231 --> 00:40:24,148
Here we go.
612
00:40:27,176 --> 00:40:29,160
Here we go.
613
00:40:33,188 --> 00:40:36,145
That's the worst launch
control in history.
614
00:40:36,180 --> 00:40:40,160
Mind doesn't work either, but the
Ferrari system learns the surface.
615
00:40:40,195 --> 00:40:43,116
I'm going to do it again.
616
00:40:43,151 --> 00:40:44,168
Here we go.
617
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:52,196
Americans can do this.
618
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:55,133
'For the actual race we decided
619
00:40:55,168 --> 00:40:59,148
'to ditch the launch control
and do the start ourselves. '
620
00:40:59,183 --> 00:41:00,192
Here we go.
621
00:41:02,124 --> 00:41:03,176
Go!
622
00:41:08,136 --> 00:41:11,188
'That didn't work either, so
we lined up the cars once more
623
00:41:11,223 --> 00:41:14,112
'and put the gearboxes
in automatic. '
624
00:41:14,147 --> 00:41:15,124
Go!
625
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:22,100
'But no matter what we
did, it was hopeless. '
626
00:41:27,108 --> 00:41:29,133
'Eventually, by being
extremely cautious,
627
00:41:29,168 --> 00:41:32,184
'I got the Ferrari to the
end of the drag run. '
628
00:41:32,219 --> 00:41:34,081
Being gentle.
629
00:41:34,116 --> 00:41:37,144
'But Jeremy can't do gentle. '
630
00:41:38,196 --> 00:41:40,182
Come on!
631
00:41:40,217 --> 00:41:42,168
Ah-ha!
632
00:41:52,140 --> 00:41:55,157
Now, as I think we
can see from that,
633
00:41:55,192 --> 00:41:59,170
I won, and you two, in fact, lost.
I wasn't even in it.
634
00:41:59,205 --> 00:42:03,113
Never mind that. You were
too heavy-footed, as usual.
635
00:42:03,148 --> 00:42:06,176
Just because you're light in your
loafers, it doesn't mean anything.
636
00:42:06,211 --> 00:42:08,133
Can you two just stop
arguing? No. Yes.
637
00:42:08,168 --> 00:42:14,176
Yes, because it is now time to put a
star in our reasonably priced car.
638
00:42:14,211 --> 00:42:17,685
Now, my guest tonight is
responsible for making some of my
639
00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:21,160
all-time favourite films - Slumdog
Millionaire, Trainspotting,
640
00:42:21,195 --> 00:42:24,113
28 Days Later, the
list goes on and on.
641
00:42:24,148 --> 00:42:29,144
His latest film is the true story
of a man who cuts his own arm off.
642
00:42:29,179 --> 00:42:33,120
So, inappropriate though it may
be given the circumstances,
643
00:42:33,155 --> 00:42:36,152
would you please put
your hands together...
644
00:42:36,187 --> 00:42:37,180
For Danny Boyle!
645
00:42:37,215 --> 00:42:39,133
APPLAUSE
646
00:42:39,168 --> 00:42:42,652
What an honour! Thank you so much!
647
00:42:42,687 --> 00:42:46,101
Thank you very much. Have a seat.
648
00:42:46,136 --> 00:42:50,160
Thank you very much.
I'm sorry about the mess.
649
00:42:50,195 --> 00:42:54,184
We had a small fire and
some things got broken.
650
00:42:54,219 --> 00:42:56,113
Try and ignore that.
651
00:42:56,148 --> 00:42:59,065
Now, I've been looking
through your car history
652
00:42:59,100 --> 00:43:03,065
and am I right in saying,
you're not really a car person?
653
00:43:03,100 --> 00:43:07,602
I'm not really. The only exciting
car I've had was an Alfa Romeo.
654
00:43:07,637 --> 00:43:12,069
But it was only a 156, and I just
got so many points so quickly.
655
00:43:12,104 --> 00:43:17,192
It's like they say - cars like that just
attract policemen, thieves and girls.
656
00:43:17,227 --> 00:43:21,133
And there weren't any girls
attracted by it, so I gave it up.
657
00:43:21,168 --> 00:43:26,120
So, the Alfa, the only decent car you had,
and you need to have an Alfa to be a
petrolhead, you can't
658
00:43:26,155 --> 00:43:29,155
be one unless you've had an Alfa,
you sold because it was too quick.
659
00:43:29,190 --> 00:43:32,121
Yes. Right. That's good. That means
we don't have to talk about cars.
660
00:43:32,156 --> 00:43:36,116
We can talk about your films. Which, I'm
afraid, I'm much more interested in.
661
00:43:36,151 --> 00:43:40,077
If you don't mind me saying, what
I really love about your stuff is
662
00:43:40,112 --> 00:43:43,622
that you never really know what the
next Danny Boyle film's going to be.
663
00:43:43,657 --> 00:43:47,097
I mean Trainspotting's completely
different, say, to Slumdog Millionaire.
664
00:43:47,132 --> 00:43:52,132
Which is completely different to Sunshine,
which is my personal favourite. Oh,
fantastic.
665
00:43:52,167 --> 00:43:55,104
I'm touched by that because
it didn't do very well.
666
00:43:55,139 --> 00:43:56,137
In fact, nobody went to see it.
667
00:43:56,172 --> 00:43:59,196
A lot of those people are here because,
as I was walking round the back,
668
00:43:59,231 --> 00:44:03,140
there were loads of people looking
at me thinking, "Who's he?"
669
00:44:03,175 --> 00:44:06,073
I think, I have this theory
670
00:44:06,108 --> 00:44:08,121
that your first film is
always your best film.
671
00:44:08,156 --> 00:44:12,132
And you can only ever make one film, like
you can only lose your virginity once,
672
00:44:12,167 --> 00:44:15,181
but you should always try and get
back to that state, if you can.
673
00:44:15,216 --> 00:44:18,196
What, losing your virginity again?If
you can. That would be perfect.
674
00:44:18,231 --> 00:44:21,077
Your first feature
was Shallow Grave.
675
00:44:21,112 --> 00:44:26,100
So you would say that was your best film?
Would you say that was better than
Trainspotting?
676
00:44:26,135 --> 00:44:28,176
My dad certainly thinks so because
he's seen every single one
677
00:44:28,211 --> 00:44:31,101
of my films and he says
the same thing every time.
678
00:44:31,136 --> 00:44:34,144
He says, "Well, it was good but it
wasn't as good as Shallow Grave. "
679
00:44:34,179 --> 00:44:37,097
And he's said that every time,
including Slumdog Millionaire.
680
00:44:37,132 --> 00:44:42,156
Slumdog Millionaire, I believe he told
someone he thought it was "reasonable".
681
00:44:42,191 --> 00:44:48,132
Now, then, er, the new film, 127 Hours.
Tell us about that.
682
00:44:48,167 --> 00:44:50,121
It's about this guy, Aron Ralston,
683
00:44:50,156 --> 00:44:54,077
who got trapped in a canyon
in 2003, in Utah, in America.
684
00:44:54,112 --> 00:44:57,618
A small rock fell on his arm and
pinned him. He couldn't move.
685
00:44:57,653 --> 00:45:01,880
He was trapped, standing up, but
he couldn't move for six days.
686
00:45:01,915 --> 00:45:06,108
And after six days, with a blunt
penknife, he cut his right arm off
687
00:45:06,143 --> 00:45:08,157
in order to get out of there.
It's an incredible story.
688
00:45:08,192 --> 00:45:13,152
It is. We've got a clip here, so you can
have a look at what we're on about. Let's
have a look.
689
00:45:13,187 --> 00:45:15,181
All you've got to remember.
690
00:45:15,216 --> 00:45:17,176
Said everything will be OK.
691
00:45:17,211 --> 00:45:19,164
Oh, my God! Aron!
692
00:45:19,199 --> 00:45:22,136
Aron! Oh!
693
00:45:28,172 --> 00:45:30,153
You liked him.
694
00:45:30,188 --> 00:45:33,120
I don't think we figured
in his day at all.
695
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:43,130
Kristen!
696
00:45:43,165 --> 00:45:45,105
Help!
697
00:45:45,140 --> 00:45:47,172
HE SCREAMS
698
00:45:49,108 --> 00:45:51,112
APPLAUSE
699
00:45:53,180 --> 00:45:58,065
It is. What do you do?
What do you do?
700
00:45:58,100 --> 00:46:01,117
You stay there, trapped and die.
Yes. Or, do you do it?
701
00:46:01,152 --> 00:46:05,172
And of course, you don't do it
at first because you think option
702
00:46:05,207 --> 00:46:08,145
you can hang on to that means
you can keep your right arm.
703
00:46:08,180 --> 00:46:12,176
You think, people will come by.
Somebody will come by eventually.
704
00:46:12,211 --> 00:46:14,133
Or I'll work out a way
of rigging this rope
705
00:46:14,168 --> 00:46:18,136
that I can manage to pull the rock off and
get out of there. It doesn't, of course.
706
00:46:18,171 --> 00:46:23,188
Did you consider the idea of him cutting
his arm off in a sort of wide shot?
707
00:46:23,223 --> 00:46:27,105
Because I have to tell
you, it is pretty gruesome.
708
00:46:27,140 --> 00:46:31,100
I mean, you do see... And the
noise as well, of the bone.
709
00:46:31,135 --> 00:46:33,180
The bone breaking, yes.
That's pretty tough.
710
00:46:33,215 --> 00:46:35,141
It is a magnificent film.
711
00:46:35,176 --> 00:46:41,148
Now, you've been chosen to sort of
head up the Olympic opening ceremony.
712
00:46:41,183 --> 00:46:44,133
And I know you'll be
delighted about that.
713
00:46:44,168 --> 00:46:49,156
We are. We had the mayor here, Boris
Johnson, not that long ago and I made many
suggestions to him.
714
00:46:49,191 --> 00:46:52,109
Has he put any of our
suggestions to you?
715
00:46:52,144 --> 00:46:56,149
He didn't mention anything
that you'd said to him.
716
00:46:56,184 --> 00:47:01,188
So, what are you going to have as the
opening ceremony, if Boris Johnson hasn't
gone for our ideas?
717
00:47:01,223 --> 00:47:05,108
We're going to have something
very different from Beijing.
718
00:47:05,143 --> 00:47:08,069
Because Beijing was the
ultimate opening ceremony.
719
00:47:08,104 --> 00:47:11,180
I thought you meant the closing ceremony,
where the British had a London bus
720
00:47:11,215 --> 00:47:13,113
and David Beckham kicked a ball.
721
00:47:13,148 --> 00:47:17,144
You were a big fan of that. It didn't
really work. We won't be doing that, no.
722
00:47:17,179 --> 00:47:20,113
Not that, but not the 200
million Chinese people?
723
00:47:20,148 --> 00:47:23,642
No, you can't, the British
won't tolerate that. You can't.
724
00:47:23,677 --> 00:47:27,398
Supposedly they rehearsed in
nappies, because if they rehearse
725
00:47:27,433 --> 00:47:31,085
4,000 people and they all want a
toilet break, it's a nightmare.
726
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:35,136
Supposedly they made them rehearse in
nappies. You're joking. That's what I heard.
727
00:47:35,171 --> 00:47:37,160
You said you were going
to do something intimate.
728
00:47:37,195 --> 00:47:40,105
It will be spectacular as well.
729
00:47:40,140 --> 00:47:42,141
But it will be more
intimate than you realise.
730
00:47:42,176 --> 00:47:45,176
Will it be as spectacular as
something I've just thought of?
731
00:47:45,211 --> 00:47:47,133
Go on, tell us.
732
00:47:47,168 --> 00:47:52,144
OK, what I'm seeing, OK, the gates
come open, the gates are on fire.
733
00:47:52,179 --> 00:47:54,113
Some Jags come in, XKRs.
734
00:47:54,148 --> 00:47:56,073
On full opposite lock, on fire.
735
00:47:56,108 --> 00:48:03,109
And the guy, instead of having a torch,
on fire, what if the whole man is on fire?
736
00:48:03,144 --> 00:48:08,148
He runs along and leaps into the big
saucer-y thing with the flames and that
goes on fire.
737
00:48:08,183 --> 00:48:10,125
The crowd could be on fire...
738
00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:14,153
Every single thing. Because then
itcould be like Top Gear. Great, OK.
739
00:48:14,188 --> 00:48:19,132
Actually, watch this space. There is
a man on fire. But he's on a bicycle.
740
00:48:19,167 --> 00:48:22,144
Which you will sort of
approve of and sort of not.
741
00:48:22,179 --> 00:48:24,180
A cyclist on fire.
742
00:48:27,136 --> 00:48:30,141
Quite like the sound of that.
743
00:48:30,176 --> 00:48:33,085
Obviously, you came down here,
I thought rather bravely,
744
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:37,132
not being a car person, particularly,
to go round the lap. Did you enjoy it?
745
00:48:37,167 --> 00:48:38,153
Yeah, it's spectacular.
746
00:48:38,188 --> 00:48:43,168
It probably isn't very good for you to
watch but I enjoyed it so much, I can't
tell you.
747
00:48:43,203 --> 00:48:47,691
Because we had one big problem, because
every single guest that has ever come here,
748
00:48:47,726 --> 00:48:52,180
they are taught to drive round our track
by the Splitter, as he is now called.
749
00:48:52,215 --> 00:48:54,085
Sacked Stig.
750
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:57,192
So we have to bring the
man out of retirement.
751
00:49:00,196 --> 00:49:05,156
Go to an old people's home. We actually
used Tiff Needell, ladies and gentlemen.
752
00:49:05,191 --> 00:49:08,156
Tiff Needell was the
man that taught you.
753
00:49:08,191 --> 00:49:11,073
What is he like now
he's, what, 150?
754
00:49:11,108 --> 00:49:14,144
He was excellent. Was he?
Yes, he was excellent. He was very good.
755
00:49:14,179 --> 00:49:17,679
And, provided I've done it in
less than 127 seconds, I'm OK.
756
00:49:17,714 --> 00:49:21,180
That's the task I've set.
127 seconds?That's a good target to set.
757
00:49:21,215 --> 00:49:28,104
Who'd like to see Danny's lap?
Yeah! Let's have a look.
758
00:49:29,176 --> 00:49:33,168
Look at that reasonably priced
brown car go. Wheelspin.
759
00:49:33,203 --> 00:49:35,137
Better on the limiter, Danny.
760
00:49:35,172 --> 00:49:40,100
Tiff would have been proud of that.
'He said to watch the limiter. '
761
00:49:40,135 --> 00:49:42,108
That's BLEEP.
762
00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:46,184
There's one in there somewhere.
Right, here we go.
763
00:49:46,219 --> 00:49:48,175
Taking it very wide there.
764
00:49:48,210 --> 00:49:50,132
This is obviously Tiff's line.
765
00:49:51,184 --> 00:49:58,140
You see, that looks slow... Get on
the power. Get on the power, come on.
766
00:49:58,175 --> 00:50:02,104
No, don't get on the power.
And you haven't, you see? Keep it tidy.
767
00:50:02,139 --> 00:50:05,172
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not very good. BLEEP.
768
00:50:08,196 --> 00:50:11,140
You looked like Jim Bowen
there, that was a worry.
769
00:50:12,192 --> 00:50:17,152
Now the hammerhead.
I know it looks slow, but...
770
00:50:17,187 --> 00:50:19,168
When you're inside
it, it feels so fast.
771
00:50:19,203 --> 00:50:22,176
It's unbelievable.
772
00:50:23,188 --> 00:50:27,184
Right, full throttle. BLEEP.
773
00:50:27,219 --> 00:50:30,673
Handle thing's come off.
774
00:50:30,708 --> 00:50:34,093
The gear lever came off?
775
00:50:34,128 --> 00:50:36,160
Well, that would
slow you down a bit.
776
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:40,116
That's a great camera there.
777
00:50:42,128 --> 00:50:45,136
That's another very wide
line, but I like that way in.
778
00:50:45,171 --> 00:50:47,133
It's very good. And you stayed on.
779
00:50:47,168 --> 00:50:50,121
Now we're going round
Gambon without any problem.
780
00:50:50,156 --> 00:50:53,120
And there we are, ladies and
gentlemen, across the line!
781
00:50:53,155 --> 00:50:54,160
CHEERING
782
00:50:57,116 --> 00:50:59,108
Well done.
783
00:51:01,148 --> 00:51:06,108
I'm just thinking, is the next Danny Boyle
film going to be the Fast And The Furious
32?
784
00:51:06,143 --> 00:51:10,108
Can we have a car film from Danny Boyle?
Can we have Mad Max IV?
785
00:51:10,143 --> 00:51:12,105
I'd love to make a proper car film.
Like a Mad Max film.
786
00:51:12,140 --> 00:51:16,192
Mad Max would be brilliant. Did you see
Doomsday? That was a good one. Yeah, I did.
It had a good cast.
787
00:51:16,227 --> 00:51:21,093
Except it was shot in Spain and he
hoped we would think it was Scotland.
788
00:51:21,128 --> 00:51:25,140
No, it wasn't raining. Right, come on then,
where do you think you've come? It was wet.
789
00:51:25,175 --> 00:51:29,152
So these are the wet times here. Angelina
Jolie. That's not the actual Angelina Jolie.
790
00:51:29,187 --> 00:51:32,133
That was Bill Bailey pretending
to be Angelina Jolie.
791
00:51:32,168 --> 00:51:38,140
1:50:08. That's the fastest we've
ever had in that car. Danny Boyle,
792
00:51:38,175 --> 00:51:41,156
you did it in...
793
00:51:41,191 --> 00:51:47,105
1:47:08,
794
00:51:47,140 --> 00:51:51,120
which means you have done
the fastest-ever wet lap!
795
00:51:51,155 --> 00:51:53,100
Oh!
796
00:51:55,104 --> 00:51:56,650
Congratulations.
797
00:51:56,685 --> 00:51:58,161
Really? That's Tiff.
798
00:51:58,196 --> 00:52:00,149
You've got to say for Tiff.
799
00:52:00,184 --> 00:52:04,125
That is Tiff, that.
That's amazing. Oh, cool!
800
00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:10,124
All these years, the Stig has been
coming and slowing celebrities down.
801
00:52:10,159 --> 00:52:13,149
And we bring a pensioner
out of retirement.
802
00:52:13,184 --> 00:52:16,145
Or you could have a natural talent
you've only just discovered.
803
00:52:16,180 --> 00:52:21,116
And that was the first time you've ever
driven in anger on a track? In a your whole
life?
804
00:52:21,151 --> 00:52:23,151
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a remarkable achievement.
805
00:52:23,186 --> 00:52:25,117
It's such a buzz.
Thank you for letting me do it.
806
00:52:25,152 --> 00:52:28,161
It was a great day. If there's any thank
yous to bedone, it's the other way.
807
00:52:28,196 --> 00:52:32,180
I've wanted to meet you for years and years.
Ladies and gentlemen, Danny Boyle.
808
00:52:32,215 --> 00:52:35,165
Thank you. Cool!
809
00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:38,081
That's a good time.
810
00:52:38,116 --> 00:52:40,116
That won't be beaten for a while.
811
00:52:45,188 --> 00:52:52,100
OK. It is now time for the third and final
part of our trans-America drive film.
812
00:52:52,135 --> 00:52:56,172
We're on our way to New York in
the Mercedes SLS. The Ferrari 458.
813
00:52:56,207 --> 00:52:59,137
And the brilliant Porsche GT3 RS.
814
00:52:59,172 --> 00:53:03,192
And we rejoin the action on
a bridge near some water.
815
00:53:23,148 --> 00:53:27,136
Chaps, obviously I'm aware of this,
but just for the record, where are we?
816
00:53:27,171 --> 00:53:32,136
Urr, Well, we've done Maryland,
I think we're in Pennsylvania.
817
00:53:32,171 --> 00:53:35,101
Righto, Pennsylvania it is.
I like it.
818
00:53:35,136 --> 00:53:37,157
After a while we found
ourselves in Amish country,
819
00:53:37,192 --> 00:53:44,136
which we thought would be full of people in
aprons building barns and drinking lemonade.
820
00:53:44,171 --> 00:53:46,196
I love to see a horse and carriage.
821
00:53:46,231 --> 00:53:48,673
Look at that. It's fantastic.
822
00:53:48,708 --> 00:53:51,116
However, we were in for a shock.
823
00:54:00,104 --> 00:54:02,636
It does say that, doesn't it?
824
00:54:02,671 --> 00:54:05,133
It does. It does say that.
825
00:54:05,168 --> 00:54:08,132
That's what it says. And it is
the name of the town. It's not...
826
00:54:08,167 --> 00:54:10,196
Welcome to... That.
827
00:54:13,108 --> 00:54:18,132
You don't think there was a hamlet called
Foreplay down there we should have popped
into first?
828
00:54:20,180 --> 00:54:24,100
We quickly left Amish country and
were delighted a few hours later
829
00:54:24,135 --> 00:54:28,160
to find ourselves approaching
somewhere a bit less smutty.
830
00:54:28,195 --> 00:54:31,196
Well, this is it. Noo Yoik.
831
00:54:38,192 --> 00:54:45,104
And the following morning we were told
to report to Brooklyn for a challenge.
832
00:54:45,139 --> 00:54:47,085
Right.
833
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:53,136
"You have been booked to appear at 11
o'clock this morning on an American chat
show.
834
00:54:53,171 --> 00:54:59,093
"The studio is on West 59th Street
near its junction with 11th Avenue.
835
00:54:59,128 --> 00:55:05,112
"There's only time for one of you to
appear, so the first to arrive gets the
gig. " Can I just ask,
836
00:55:06,172 --> 00:55:09,112
it doesn't say I
can't use my sat-nav.
837
00:55:09,147 --> 00:55:12,077
Nor me.
838
00:55:12,112 --> 00:55:15,120
I haven't got sat-nav.
Shall we do it? Have we got an hour?
839
00:55:15,155 --> 00:55:16,137
Yes.
840
00:55:16,172 --> 00:55:19,089
Chat show.
841
00:55:19,124 --> 00:55:24,172
Three, two, go! OK.
842
00:55:29,172 --> 00:55:34,128
Set navigation. City of Manhattan.
843
00:55:34,163 --> 00:55:37,116
Where's M. A...
844
00:55:40,144 --> 00:55:44,089
How do you enter West
59 in the sat-nav?
845
00:55:44,124 --> 00:55:46,172
It's not easy, but luckily
I've managed it. Goodbye.
846
00:55:49,188 --> 00:55:52,192
Looking good, looking good.
Done it. Go.
847
00:56:00,168 --> 00:56:04,136
Up ahead, the Porsche
was on Brooklyn Bridge
848
00:56:04,171 --> 00:56:06,136
zooming towards Manhattan.
849
00:56:09,128 --> 00:56:13,120
Which made Stuart
Little very nervous.
850
00:56:13,155 --> 00:56:17,112
No. No. My God.
Look at it. It's huge.
851
00:56:19,128 --> 00:56:22,132
I'm a country boy.
That's just a fact.
852
00:56:22,167 --> 00:56:23,157
Cities terrify me.
853
00:56:23,192 --> 00:56:28,156
They're just big and complicated and
full of people who shout at you.
854
00:56:31,184 --> 00:56:34,077
Here we go.
855
00:56:34,112 --> 00:56:37,101
The producers had given
us only one rule.
856
00:56:37,136 --> 00:56:41,152
We weren't allowed to use the ring
roads that go up Manhattan shoreline.
857
00:56:41,187 --> 00:56:45,188
But no matter. Us sat-nav boys
were feeling pretty relaxed.
858
00:56:45,223 --> 00:56:47,145
Hello, America.
859
00:56:47,180 --> 00:56:52,113
Manhattan TV studio
and then the world.
860
00:56:52,148 --> 00:56:56,132
Could be Good Morning America.
That is a big show.
861
00:56:56,167 --> 00:56:59,153
Hammond will be desperate
to get there first.
862
00:56:59,188 --> 00:57:05,152
Because ever since he was a foetus, he's
been destined to appear on American
television.
863
00:57:05,187 --> 00:57:08,184
With his teeth and his
hair and everything.
864
00:57:08,219 --> 00:57:11,145
Do I want Pearl Street?
865
00:57:11,180 --> 00:57:16,108
Park Road south?
I don't know! I don't know.
866
00:57:18,124 --> 00:57:22,100
James steamed into Manhattan
full of confidence.
867
00:57:22,135 --> 00:57:24,148
Park Road South, keep right.
868
00:57:24,183 --> 00:57:26,149
Keep left, yes.
869
00:57:26,184 --> 00:57:29,097
But soon he had a problem.
870
00:57:29,132 --> 00:57:31,108
I've lost the satellite signal.
871
00:57:31,143 --> 00:57:33,129
It's the buildings.
872
00:57:33,164 --> 00:57:38,121
Annoyingly, though, Manhattan
suited James's love of order
873
00:57:38,156 --> 00:57:44,113
and logic because the streets are
laid out in a numbered grid system.
874
00:57:44,148 --> 00:57:48,077
You can only go four ways. You can go
east or west or you can go north or south.
875
00:57:48,112 --> 00:57:54,176
There's no windy stuff, and there's very
little in the way of diagonal stuff.
Concentrate.
876
00:57:56,168 --> 00:58:03,140
In the SLS, the sat-nav was not affected by
the buildings, but it was being very German.
877
00:58:03,175 --> 00:58:07,100
Ah, you see, the sat-nav
has selected the ring road.
878
00:58:07,135 --> 00:58:08,176
Look, it's judged to take me up.
879
00:58:08,211 --> 00:58:10,161
I can't do that.
880
00:58:10,196 --> 00:58:15,164
I drove deeper into the heart of the
city to force the system to think again.
881
00:58:15,199 --> 00:58:20,140
Sat-nav's still trying to make me go
on the ring road. I can't do that.
882
00:58:20,175 --> 00:58:22,139
Attention! Turn left... No!
883
00:58:22,174 --> 00:58:24,161
I can't go on the ring road.
884
00:58:24,196 --> 00:58:26,113
I'm going to shut her up.
885
00:58:26,148 --> 00:58:29,144
If I just keep heading north
until I get to 59th Street.
886
00:58:29,179 --> 00:58:32,105
How hard can that be?
887
00:58:32,140 --> 00:58:35,149
All of us were now relying
on intelligence alone to find
888
00:58:35,184 --> 00:58:42,148
the TV studio, and if I'm honest, that did
put Stuart Little at a bit of a
disadvantage.
889
00:58:42,183 --> 00:58:45,133
No, no. I don't want to go.
890
00:58:45,168 --> 00:58:49,089
No? How do I not go in the tunnel?
891
00:58:49,124 --> 00:58:52,172
I'm not going to panic. I'm not
going to panic. Not going to panic.
892
00:58:52,207 --> 00:58:56,184
I've indicated with the
windscreen wipers - that's bad.
893
00:58:56,219 --> 00:58:58,113
Right. Going north.
894
00:58:58,148 --> 00:59:02,112
I'll start to count off
street numbers in a minute.
895
00:59:02,147 --> 00:59:04,196
Just keep going until I get to 59.
896
00:59:07,156 --> 00:59:11,116
Captain OCD was making
storming progress.
897
00:59:13,140 --> 00:59:16,192
14th street. This is good.
898
00:59:18,152 --> 00:59:20,093
I wonder where Jezza is.
899
00:59:20,128 --> 00:59:25,180
Annoyingly, the northbound street
I'd selected was a bit busy.
900
00:59:25,215 --> 00:59:27,192
Nothing I can do.
I'm completely jammed in.
901
00:59:27,227 --> 00:59:31,132
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.
902
00:59:31,167 --> 00:59:35,196
A bit more panicking. Move!
903
00:59:39,192 --> 00:59:42,129
23rd Street. They're tumbling.
904
00:59:42,164 --> 00:59:46,136
I was so confident, I decided
to weave round bottlenecks.
905
00:59:46,171 --> 00:59:49,188
Down there... It's easy!
906
00:59:51,188 --> 00:59:54,149
Oh, no.
907
00:59:54,184 --> 00:59:56,188
East 14th Street.
908
00:59:56,223 --> 00:59:58,157
I've got to go to 59!
909
00:59:58,192 --> 01:00:02,152
And I've now got 36
minutes to get there.
910
01:00:02,187 --> 01:00:04,161
Still, could be worse.
911
01:00:04,196 --> 01:00:08,168
There's Hammond! That's Hammond!
912
01:00:10,120 --> 01:00:12,184
Dear... Aaah! That doesn't...
913
01:00:12,219 --> 01:00:14,145
What am I doing wrong?
914
01:00:14,180 --> 01:00:19,152
At that moment, I was asking
myself the same question.
915
01:00:24,144 --> 01:00:26,077
BLEEP. Done it wrong.
916
01:00:26,112 --> 01:00:31,128
I must have caught the rear
alloy on the corner of that.
917
01:00:31,163 --> 01:00:35,104
Right now it's the back
wheel over there. Good?
918
01:00:37,128 --> 01:00:43,100
Having lost valuable time, I decided
to stick to the main streets.
919
01:00:43,135 --> 01:00:46,184
Avenue of the Americas.
This is good.
920
01:00:50,136 --> 01:00:53,192
This is an astonishing road,
the Avenue of the Americas.
921
01:00:56,124 --> 01:00:58,180
Look at that. Concrete canyon!
922
01:01:03,176 --> 01:01:06,166
I think I just saw
James over there.
923
01:01:06,201 --> 01:01:09,156
Yes! Ha ha! Look what I've found!
924
01:01:09,191 --> 01:01:11,121
Jezza.
925
01:01:11,156 --> 01:01:13,117
That's interesting.
926
01:01:13,152 --> 01:01:19,176
It was very tempting to finally see
which of our cars was the fastest.
927
01:01:19,211 --> 01:01:22,137
We mustn't do this.
928
01:01:22,172 --> 01:01:25,132
And then we decided that we must.
929
01:01:27,104 --> 01:01:29,105
Going to go manual.
930
01:01:29,140 --> 01:01:33,176
This burst of acceleration could
decide who goes on American television!
931
01:01:45,184 --> 01:01:50,108
Sadly, before the race was done,
we hit traffic. So I braked...
932
01:01:50,143 --> 01:01:53,135
and bailed. That's that.
933
01:01:53,170 --> 01:01:56,128
Oh, he's turned off.
934
01:01:56,163 --> 01:01:57,157
Oh, very bold!
935
01:01:57,192 --> 01:02:00,113
Jeremy and I were now
trying different tactics.
936
01:02:00,148 --> 01:02:07,108
He was wiggling in the back streets, and I
was on the big road, hoping the lights
would be kind.
937
01:02:08,168 --> 01:02:12,136
This race is now a race.
938
01:02:12,171 --> 01:02:15,136
47th... 48th...
939
01:02:17,124 --> 01:02:18,172
49th. Ten to go.
940
01:02:20,172 --> 01:02:22,172
It's just green, green, green.
941
01:02:25,108 --> 01:02:28,136
My plan hadn't worked and I
was in a complete tangle.
942
01:02:28,171 --> 01:02:30,124
Broadway is one way.
943
01:02:30,159 --> 01:02:33,109
Oh, no!
944
01:02:33,144 --> 01:02:35,085
What's the next one?
945
01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:39,132
If I go to 7th... On, no, 7th
is one way as well. It is.
946
01:02:39,167 --> 01:02:41,144
So I have to go left.
947
01:02:41,179 --> 01:02:44,089
Oh, spiffing!
948
01:02:44,124 --> 01:02:46,069
This is just ludicrous.
949
01:02:46,104 --> 01:02:47,192
There's only one road goes north.
950
01:02:47,227 --> 01:02:49,667
All the others go south.
951
01:02:49,702 --> 01:02:52,108
Still, could be worse.
952
01:02:54,196 --> 01:02:56,129
Broadway?
953
01:02:56,164 --> 01:03:00,136
Isn't that where the theatres are?
Look at that! Look at that!
954
01:03:00,171 --> 01:03:03,112
I am on Broadway. Broadway!
955
01:03:05,100 --> 01:03:08,132
Hang on... Broadway's...
I'm going the wrong way.
956
01:03:11,176 --> 01:03:14,172
More green lights, look at this!
957
01:03:14,207 --> 01:03:17,101
56th, 57th...
958
01:03:17,136 --> 01:03:20,104
I wonder if it's Letterman.
959
01:03:20,139 --> 01:03:22,089
58th.
960
01:03:22,124 --> 01:03:24,160
Right, this is 59th.
961
01:03:24,195 --> 01:03:26,141
Hello, America.
962
01:03:26,176 --> 01:03:29,120
This is James May in
the latest Ferrari.
963
01:03:33,108 --> 01:03:34,101
Come on!
964
01:03:34,136 --> 01:03:40,104
All I had to do was stick with 59th
Street for five blocks. Keep going.
965
01:03:40,139 --> 01:03:44,172
But at this roundabout,
59th Street just... stopped.
966
01:03:44,207 --> 01:03:46,117
Oh, God!
967
01:03:46,152 --> 01:03:49,157
Oh, this is where
it gets difficult.
968
01:03:49,192 --> 01:03:55,116
Now I was relying on my famously
brilliant sense of direction.
969
01:03:55,151 --> 01:03:57,135
I'm going that way.
970
01:03:57,170 --> 01:03:59,085
That was a hunch.
971
01:03:59,120 --> 01:04:04,120
Jeremy, meanwhile, had decided to
replace navigation with raw power.
972
01:04:09,120 --> 01:04:12,104
47th...
973
01:04:15,128 --> 01:04:18,065
Come on!
974
01:04:18,100 --> 01:04:20,085
Oh, God above!
975
01:04:20,120 --> 01:04:22,100
How can Amsterdam only be one way?
976
01:04:22,135 --> 01:04:24,105
What is the point?
977
01:04:24,140 --> 01:04:26,184
Right, I'll go across...
Oh, I can't go down there.
978
01:04:26,219 --> 01:04:28,156
BLEEP!
979
01:04:35,176 --> 01:04:37,172
All the lights are green.
980
01:04:39,188 --> 01:04:42,093
And 53.
981
01:04:42,128 --> 01:04:45,146
63. That's pedestrianised.
982
01:04:45,181 --> 01:04:48,129
Oh, it's all going wrong.
983
01:04:48,164 --> 01:04:51,176
Let me go down a
street, for God's sake!
984
01:05:00,132 --> 01:05:01,188
Now I've got to get across.
985
01:05:04,164 --> 01:05:08,192
9th. I want to go to 11th, it's
near the junction with 11th.
986
01:05:14,180 --> 01:05:17,097
66th. Here we go.
987
01:05:17,132 --> 01:05:20,168
West End Avenue. Lovely word!
988
01:05:23,112 --> 01:05:27,122
Five streets to go.
989
01:05:27,157 --> 01:05:31,132
10th. Is this 11th?
990
01:05:32,196 --> 01:05:35,112
Off up here...
991
01:05:35,147 --> 01:05:37,129
Come on!
992
01:05:37,164 --> 01:05:39,156
61...
993
01:05:39,191 --> 01:05:41,148
60...
994
01:05:42,132 --> 01:05:43,160
58.
995
01:05:44,192 --> 01:05:47,104
59th. Yes.
996
01:05:50,188 --> 01:05:52,157
Oh, no! No!
997
01:05:52,192 --> 01:05:55,093
No! No, that's not possible.
998
01:05:55,128 --> 01:05:58,168
There's a Ferrari.
I cannot believe it.
999
01:06:08,128 --> 01:06:11,104
Meanwhile... Avenue of
the Americas is here!
1000
01:06:11,139 --> 01:06:13,123
That's what I want.
1001
01:06:13,158 --> 01:06:15,073
There you go, ha ha!
1002
01:06:15,108 --> 01:06:19,069
Going to launch my
career in America!
1003
01:06:19,104 --> 01:06:21,180
Stuart was quite upset
when he finally arrived...
1004
01:06:21,215 --> 01:06:23,132
Oh, ahhh.
1005
01:06:26,144 --> 01:06:27,196
Damn!
1006
01:06:29,156 --> 01:06:31,640
Disappointed? Gutted, actually.
1007
01:06:31,675 --> 01:06:34,124
Last. In your Beetle. Yeah.
1008
01:06:34,159 --> 01:06:36,139
Don't be disappointed.
1009
01:06:36,174 --> 01:06:38,085
But is this the...?
1010
01:06:38,120 --> 01:06:40,157
James is in there. In there?
1011
01:06:40,192 --> 01:06:43,158
You think he's been talking
to Letterman, don't you?
1012
01:06:43,193 --> 01:06:46,124
Yeah. Or Good Morning America.
Yeah. It isn't that.
1013
01:06:48,104 --> 01:06:51,089
Inhale, come up. You should
feel a beautiful stretch
1014
01:06:51,124 --> 01:06:54,614
in your abductor muscles on
the inside of your left thigh.
1015
01:06:54,649 --> 01:06:58,104
Inhale, come up. Move your
arms up to shoulder height.
1016
01:06:58,139 --> 01:07:00,081
Let's turn to the right side.
1017
01:07:00,116 --> 01:07:03,100
Bring your legs out about
three to four feet apart.
1018
01:07:03,135 --> 01:07:05,125
So let's inhale.
1019
01:07:05,160 --> 01:07:08,188
Now, start exhaling. Glide your
hands down the back of your body.
1020
01:07:08,223 --> 01:07:10,140
Bend your knees if you have to.
1021
01:07:10,175 --> 01:07:12,129
JAMES COUGHS
1022
01:07:12,164 --> 01:07:14,192
Take a break. I'm sorry.
1023
01:07:14,227 --> 01:07:16,116
APPLAUSE
1024
01:07:17,180 --> 01:07:19,081
So there we are.
1025
01:07:19,116 --> 01:07:25,081
There we are, no question at all,
the Mercedes was the best car.
1026
01:07:25,116 --> 01:07:29,180
Apart from the fact it was so tail happy,
it needed a new set of tyres every 500
yards!
1027
01:07:29,215 --> 01:07:31,137
Look, the Ferrari was
the best looking,
1028
01:07:31,172 --> 01:07:35,188
it got me to the studio first, it
was the fastest round the track...
1029
01:07:35,223 --> 01:07:37,137
It cost twice as much
as the Porsche...
1030
01:07:37,172 --> 01:07:40,112
Listen, Stuart, you are
out of this one, OK?
1031
01:07:40,147 --> 01:07:42,157
And we are completely out of time.
1032
01:07:42,192 --> 01:07:47,152
No, we really are. This programme
is already 67 minutes long, yes?
1033
01:07:47,187 --> 01:07:52,112
Thing is, though, James is insisting
we settle our L5 bet. Here we go.
1034
01:07:52,147 --> 01:07:54,180
Now we'll find out
which is the quickest.
1035
01:07:58,215 --> 01:08:01,176
Three, two, one...
1036
01:08:05,124 --> 01:08:09,158
I've got 563 horse
power, he's only got 562.
1037
01:08:09,193 --> 01:08:13,192
That is a remarkable
getaway by the Fezza.
1038
01:08:13,227 --> 01:08:17,140
Let's see that extra horse!
1039
01:08:17,175 --> 01:08:18,157
Here it comes!
1040
01:08:23,192 --> 01:08:28,116
Here comes that horse!
That is remarkably close!
1041
01:08:28,151 --> 01:08:32,101
Look at it! Come on! Come on!
1042
01:08:32,136 --> 01:08:34,176
I'm going to get him
by a nose! Yes! Yes!
1043
01:08:36,168 --> 01:08:40,100
Close. Really close!
That was very close.
1044
01:08:40,135 --> 01:08:42,125
Want to give it to me now? No.
1045
01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:44,081
Hand it over now, come on.
1046
01:08:44,116 --> 01:08:46,132
Hang on, let's settle this,
because it was close.
1047
01:08:46,167 --> 01:08:48,157
It was in fact a photo finish.
1048
01:08:48,192 --> 01:08:50,188
And I have the photo here.
1049
01:08:50,223 --> 01:08:52,184
Have a look at that. Oh. Yeah.
1050
01:08:52,219 --> 01:08:54,129
Aha ha! Oh!
1051
01:08:54,164 --> 01:08:56,136
No, it really was that close!
1052
01:08:56,171 --> 01:08:58,643
I'm afraid it's a draw!
1053
01:08:58,678 --> 01:09:01,081
Good. I keep my fiver!
1054
01:09:01,116 --> 01:09:05,065
But, on that bombshell,
it is now time to end.
1055
01:09:05,100 --> 01:09:09,196
We shall be back on Boxing Day at eight
o'clock with our annual Christmas Special,
1056
01:09:09,231 --> 01:09:14,189
in which we are the three wise men
and we go from the East - Iraq,
1057
01:09:14,224 --> 01:09:19,113
to be precise - to the birthplace
of the baby Jesus in Bethlehem.
1058
01:09:19,148 --> 01:09:24,164
We hope to see you then, but in the
meantime, please have a very, very happy
Christmas. Goodnight!
1059
01:09:32,196 --> 01:09:35,690
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
//www.addic7ed.com/
1060
01:09:35,725 --> 01:09:39,184
E- mail subtitling@bbc. co. uk
90588
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