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>> LaFonda: TONIGHT ON
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"NEWSREADERS," WE GO INSIDE THE
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KITCHEN OF VICTOR CREECH -- THE
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ROCK-STAR CELEBRITY CHEF
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CHANGING THE WAY WE LOOK AT
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FOOD.
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>> MARK MY WORDS -- HUMAN SPERM
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IS THE NEW BACON.
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HUMAN SPERM.
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>> LaFonda: ALSO, MORE OF MY
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AWARD-WINNING INTERVIEW WITH
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KATE WALSH.
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[ BOTH LAUGHING ]
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>> [ Laughing ] I KNOW.
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>> LaFonda: AND WHAT IF EVERYONE
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WHO SAYS THEY'RE GAY IS LYING?
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ALL THAT AND MORE TONIGHT ON
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"NEWSREADERS."
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OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT -- US.
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"NEWSREADERS" HAS BEEN CALLED
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THE CLOSEST THING TO READING ON
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TELEVISION, AND AMERICANS RELY
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ON US TO MAKE THEM FEEL SMARTER.
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THIS AWARD-WINNING FORMULA IS SO
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SUCCESSFUL THAT IT HAS BEEN
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EMULATED AROUND THE WORLD --
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FROM POWERFUL NATIONS...
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>> [ SPEAKING RUSSIAN ]
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>> LaFonda: ...TO WEAKER
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NATIONS...
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>> [ SPEAKING SPANISH ]
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[ LAUGHS ]
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[ MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYS ]
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[ LAUGHS ]
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>> LaFonda: ...AND EVEN MIDDLE
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SCHOOLS.
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>> TODAY IN THE PROGRAM,
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ROCK-BAND CLASS IS FINALLY ADDED
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AS AN ELECTIVE.
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GOOD NEWS FOR BOYS WITH LONGISH
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HAIR.
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AND PUPPIES -- MORE LIKE
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POOPIES?
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ALL THAT AND MORE AND MY
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INTERVIEW WITH KATE WALSH'S
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NIECE MARISSA.
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[ BOTH LAUGHING ]
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>> LaFonda: THE COPYCAT WHO
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TOUCHED US THE MOST WAS
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CALIFORNIA SIXTH GRADER
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ROSA GONZALES.
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WE WERE SO IMPRESSED WITH ROSA
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THAT WE INVITED HER TO TAG ALONG
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WITH US TO INTERVIEW AN ACCUSED
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SERIAL KILLER NAMED
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ROSCOE THURNPIKE.
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ROSCOE THURNPIKE SITS IN PRISON,
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ACCUSED OF BRUTALLY MURDERING
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17 LAWYERS.
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BUT ROSCOE HAS A PROBLEM -- NO
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LAWYER WILL REPRESENT HIM.
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UNTIL THAT LAST VOICE-OVER,
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ROSCOE'S STORY HAD GONE
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UNREPORTED.
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BUT NOW HIS STORY WAS JUST ONE
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ON-CAMERA IN-STUDIO LINE -- THIS
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ONE -- AND SOME FOOTAGE OF ME
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AND A KID WALKING THROUGH A
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METAL DETECTOR AWAY FROM BEING
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TOLD.
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>> I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE THAT
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WITH ME ALL THE TIME.
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I'M ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS.
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>> LaFonda: [ Laughing ] THERE'S
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NO PEANUTS IN THE JAIL.
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JUST FUTURE PULITZER PRIZES.
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COME ON. LET'S GO.
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ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO CIGARETTE
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SMOKE?
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ROSA WAS ABOUT TO GET THE KIND
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OF EDUCATION YOU CAN ONLY GET
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FROM TELEVISION.
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AND ROSCOE THURNPIKE WAS ABOUT
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TO GET THE KIND OF INTERVIEW YOU
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CAN ONLY GET FROM A TELEVISION
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PROGRAM REVERED ALL OVER THE
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WORLD.
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>> I-I DON'T THINK I CAN GET A
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FAIR TRIAL I-IF I HAVE TO DEFEND
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MYSELF.
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>> LaFonda: WELL, YOU DON'T KNOW
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ANYTHING ABOUT THE LAW, AND THIS
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IS A TOUGH CASE.
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>> PLUS MY TERRIBLE SECRET.
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>> LaFonda: LET ME PREFACE THAT
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BY SAYING ANYTHING YOU SAY IS
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GONNA BE ON TAPE AND CAN BE USED
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AGAINST YOU IF SUBPOENAED, SO...
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>> UH-HUH, I'M AT PEACE WITH
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THAT.
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>> LaFonda: Tell your mom to buy
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you a dress for the Pulitzers.
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>> I CAN'T READ.
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>> LaFonda: YOU CAN'T READ?
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>> I CAN'T READ.
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>> LaFonda: BUT WE'VE SEEN TAPE
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OF YOU LOOKING AT BOOKS.
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>> I-I FOUND THE, UH, PAGES
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TASTE BETTER THAN PRISON FOOD.
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>> LaFonda: YOU WERE WEARING
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GLASSES.
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>> I-I LIKE TO SEE WHAT I'M
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EATING.
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>> LaFonda: SO WHY COULDN'T
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ACCUSED LAWYER-KILLER
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ROSCOE THURNPIKE GET A LAWYER?
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WE ASKED JASON BLOOM, A MAN WHO
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MADE HIS PARENTS HAPPY BY GOING
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TO LAW SCHOOL AND THEN
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DISAPPOINTED THEM BY BECOMING A
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CHIEF PUBLIC DEFENDER.
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WHY HAVE ALL THE PUBLIC
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DEFENDERS IN YOUR OFFICE REFUSED
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TO REPRESENT MR. THURNPIKE?
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>> [ SMACKS LIPS ] MANY REASONS.
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UH, IT'S JANUARY.
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A LOT OF PEOPLE TAKE VACATIONS
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THIS TIME OF YEAR.
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>> LaFonda: OH, VACATIONS.
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SURE. SURE.
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>> PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCES,
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OF COURSE.
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>> LaFonda: MM-HMM.
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>> UH, CONSTRUCTION ON ROUTE 18.
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>> LaFonda: ALWAYS.
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>> AND HE KILLED 17 LAWYERS.
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>> LaFonda: ALLEGEDLY KILLED 17
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LAWYERS.
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PERHAPS THE ATTORNEY GENERAL
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WOULD LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR
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SCHEDULING DIFFICULTIES.
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>> HE'S AT A PARENT-TEACHER
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CONFERENCE.
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>> LaFonda: OH, IS HE?
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WELL, I WONDER HOW HIS SON IS
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DOING IN CIVICS CLASS, WHICH IS
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THE STUDY OF GOVERNMENT AND LAW.
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>> I -- I KNOW THAT.
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>> LaFonda: BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE
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HE WOULD LEARN ABOUT HIS
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CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO AN
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ATTORNEY.
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[ CLANG! ]
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SEE THAT?
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THAT'S THE "I'M BUSTED" FACE.
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SEE HIS FACE? DRAW THAT.
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DRAW A PICTURE OF THAT.
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>> ALL RIGHT. THAT'S IT.
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THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT. YEAH.
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>> LaFonda: YOU'RE LEAVING THE
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INTERVIEW?
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ARE YOU GETTING THIS?
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MR. BLOOM IS LEAVING THE
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INTERVIEW.
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[ LAUGHS ]
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WE GOT A WALK-OUT!
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AS A RESULT OF OUR
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INVESTIGATION, THE STATE
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SUPREME COURT RULED THAT
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MR. THURNPIKE COULD NOT BE
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FORCED TO REPRESENT HIMSELF.
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AND WITH NO LAWYERS WILLING TO
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TAKE THE CASE, HE WAS FREED.
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THANKS TO "NEWSREADERS,"
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ROSCOE THURNPIKE, GUILTY OF
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NOTHING MORE THAN BEING
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VICTIMIZED BY AN UNFAIR CRIMINAL
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JUSTICE SYSTEM, COULD REJOIN
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SOCIETY AS A FREE MAN.
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WE THOUGHT THAT WAS THE END OF
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THE STORY.
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TURNS OUT, IT WAS JUST THE
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MIDDLE.
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THREE WEEKS AFTER HE WAS FREED,
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ROSA GONZALEZ DID A FOLLOW-UP
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INTERVIEW WITH ROSCOE THURNPIKE
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ON HER SHOW.
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>> LATER ON IN THE PROGRAM,
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NANTASKET BEACH LIFEGUARDS ARE
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TOTALLY ON A POWER TRIP.
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BUT FIRST, PLEASE WELCOME MY
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VERY SPECIAL GUEST -- FORMER
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ACCUSED KILLER ROSCOE THURNPIKE.
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HOW'S IT GOING, ROSCOE?
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HOW'S LIFE ON THE OUTSIDE?
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>> UH, WONDERFUL THANKS TO YOU
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AND, UH, "NEWSREADERS."
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>> WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?
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>> UH, LOTS OF STUFF.
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UH, I'VE BEEN TENDING TO MY
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GARDEN, WHICH WAS OUT OF
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CONTROL.
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>> MM-HMM.
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>> PLUS, SO MUCH HAS CHANGED
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SINCE I'VE BEEN AWAY.
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WELL, EXCEPT FOR THE
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CONSTRUCTION ON ROUTE 18.
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>> YEAH.
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DON'T GET MY MOM STARTED.
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>> PLUS, I'VE BEEN GETTING A LOT
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OF LAWYER KILLING DONE.
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>> SO YOU KILLED THOSE LAWYERS?
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>> OH, YEAH. I'M NUTS FOR IT.
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I'M SORRY.
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I THOUGHT YOU KNEW THAT.
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>> LaFonda: ROSCOE THURNPIKE IS
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NOW ON THE LAM, AND WE HERE AT
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"NEWSREADERS" ARE AT LEAST
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PARTIALLY RESPONSIBLE.
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AND THERE'S ONE MORE THING YOU
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CAN GIVE US CREDIT FOR -- LITTLE
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ROSA GONZALEZ HAS BECOME A STAR.
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HER LIFE CHANGED OVERNIGHT.
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SHE EXPOSED THE TRUTH,
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"NEWZKIDS" IS NOW AN INTERNET
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SENSATION, AND ROSA GONZALEZ IS
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A HOUSEHOLD NAME.
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>> HEY, UH, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT
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THIS LITTLE GIRL --
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ROSA GONZALEZ?
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YEAH, TURNS OUT THIS SIXTH
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GRADER IS A BRILLIANT
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JOURNALIST.
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SPEAKING OF LITTLE KIDS, ALL DAY
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I THOUGHT IT WAS TUESDAY UNTIL
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MY SON CORRECTED ME, AND I WAS
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LIKE, "WHO AM I? 'NEWSREADERS'?"
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[ LAUGHTER ]
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>> LaFonda: WE DECIDED TO CATCH
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UP WITH ROSA TO SEE HOW SHE WAS
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HANDLING ALL THE ATTENTION.
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>> NEXT WEEK, STUART MILLER
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LEAVES GYM IN AN AMBULANCE.
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THE COOL KIDS SUSPECT EPILEPSY
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OR, QUOTE, "SOMETHING ELSE THAT
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MAKES YOU LOOK SPECIAL NEEDS."
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>> LaFonda: WASN'T SHE TERRIFIC?
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HUH.
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VERY GOOD FIRST TAKE.
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SO, HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE A
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REAL NEWSPERSON?
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>> WELL, I'M NOT. MAYBE SOMEDAY.
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>> LaFonda: I HEARD YOU WON AN
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AWARD.
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>> THE L.A. TIMES GAVE ME A
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JUNIOR NEWS ACHIEVER AWARD.
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I GOT TO GO TO THE PAPER TO GET
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IT.
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THEY LET ME HANG OUT IN THE
260
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:45,005
NEWSROOM.
261
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,165
>> LaFonda: OOH! OKAY.
262
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:47,713
OBSERVING PEOPLE WHILE THEY
263
00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:48,038
WORK.
264
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:48,841
[ CHUCKLES ]
265
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:50,542
WELL, I GUESS THAT'S YOUR BEAT.
266
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:53,554
RIGHT? REMEMBER? LIKE WITH US?
267
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:54,547
>> YEAH.
268
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:57,048
>> LaFonda: YEAH.
269
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,590
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE CAPITAL OF
270
00:06:58,586 --> 00:06:59,086
KENTUCKY IS?
271
00:06:59,086 --> 00:06:59,846
>> FRANKFORT.
272
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,123
>> LaFonda: THAT'S VERY GOOD.
273
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,621
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE CAPITAL OF
274
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:03,193
THE CONGO IS?
275
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,560
>> NO. THAT'S NOT A STATE.
276
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:06,228
>> LaFonda: KINSHASA.
277
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:07,156
>> IT'S NOT A STATE.
278
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:07,930
>> LaFonda: NO.
279
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,158
IT'S ANOTHER COUNTRY, BUT OTHER
280
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,532
COUNTRIES HAVE CAPITALS, TOO.
281
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:11,801
JUST SOMETHING YOU MIGHT WANT TO
282
00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:12,799
REMEMBER.
283
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,640
THE DAUGHTER OF IMMIGRANTS, ROSA
284
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,135
IS MORE THAN LIVING UP TO HER
285
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:18,006
PARENTS' AMERICAN DREAMS.
286
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:19,105
SO, DID YOU EVER THINK YOUR
287
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,166
LITTLE ROSA WOULD BECOME A
288
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:24,043
CELEBRITY?
289
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:25,684
>> THEY DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH.
290
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:26,609
>> LaFonda: OH.
291
00:07:26,614 --> 00:07:28,624
>> DO YOU WANT ME TO TRANSLATE?
292
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:30,776
>> LaFonda: EH, I'M GOOD.
293
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,254
THEIR MODEST APARTMENT IS A
294
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,022
SHRINE TO ROSA'S ACHIEVEMENTS.
295
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,661
I SEE YOU GOT STAR STUDENT
296
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,156
THERE.
297
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:38,987
AND, OH, LOOK AT THAT -- YOUR
298
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,932
L.A. TIMES JUNIOR NEWS ACHIEVER
299
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:41,598
AWARD.
300
00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:42,955
THAT'S VERY IMPRESSIVE.
301
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:43,633
>> YEAH.
302
00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:44,771
>> LaFonda: MAY 15th.
303
00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,195
I BET YOU'LL NEVER FORGET THAT
304
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:46,699
DAY.
305
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,240
>> YEAH, IT WAS REALLY EXCITING.
306
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:49,865
>> LaFonda: TUESDAY, MAY 15th.
307
00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:51,070
THAT'S A SCHOOL DAY.
308
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:51,811
>> YEAH.
309
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,635
>> LaFonda: SO YOU WENT DOWN TO
310
00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:55,241
THE NEWSPAPER ON A SCHOOL DAY,
311
00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:58,252
AND [LAUGHS] YET YOU'RE AWARD
312
00:07:58,245 --> 00:07:59,945
FOR PERFECT ATTENDANCE IS RIGHT
313
00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:00,807
NEXT TO THAT.
314
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,284
>> YEAH. IT COUNTED AS SCHOOL.
315
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,322
>> LaFonda: RIGHT.
316
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,916
SO DOES STUART MILLER'S TRIP
317
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,548
DOWN TO THE HOSPITAL COUNT AS
318
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:07,054
SCHOOL?
319
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:08,064
>> I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
320
00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,285
>> LaFonda: DO YOU KNOW WHY HE
321
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,319
WAS CARTED AWAY IN THAT
322
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,333
AMBULANCE?
323
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,655
>> THE COOL KIDS SAID --
324
00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:15,031
>> LaFonda: ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK,
325
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,558
BECAUSE STUART LEFT HIS EpiPen
326
00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:17,634
AT HOME THAT DAY, AND
327
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:18,671
TAMMI BOSEY BROUGHT A
328
00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:20,066
PEANUT-BUTTER-AND-JELLY SANDWICH
329
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,637
INTO THEIR CIVICS CLASS AND YOU
330
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:22,895
WEREN'T THERE TO LEND STUART
331
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:23,273
YOURS.
332
00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:24,270
BUSTED.
333
00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:25,611
>> EVEN IF I WAS IN SCHOOL THAT
334
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:26,766
DAY, I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE.
335
00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:27,684
>> LaFonda: [ SCOFFS ]
336
00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:28,635
>> I'M NOT IN THAT CLASS.
337
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:29,712
>> LaFonda: NO, YOU WEREN'T,
338
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:30,080
WERE YOU?
339
00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:30,977
>> NO, BECAUSE I'M NOT.
340
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:32,048
>> LaFonda: OH! THERE IT IS!
341
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,675
THAT'S YOUR "I'M BUSTED" FACE.
342
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:35,151
>> THIS IS MY "I DON'T KNOW WHAT
343
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:36,678
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT" FACE.
344
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,024
>> LaFonda: OH, OKAY. GREAT.
345
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:38,788
A WALK-OUT.
346
00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:39,646
[ CLAPS ]
347
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,153
MONEY IN THE BANK!
348
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:42,024
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
349
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,192
[ SCOFFS ]
350
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,730
KNEW SHE'D CRACK.
351
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:48,156
ROSA GONZALEZ -- ONCE CELEBRATED
352
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,361
FOR EXPOSING THE TRUTH, THAT
353
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:53,003
PAST ACHIEVEMENT IS NOW SHROUDED
354
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,640
IN A CLOUD OF FUDGED ATTENDANCE.
355
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:57,336
LOOKS LIKE THINGS AREN'T COMING
356
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:58,637
UP ROSA ANYMORE.
357
00:08:58,639 --> 00:08:59,339
[ CHUCKLES ]
358
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:01,909
EVERY ROSA HAS ITS THORNS.
359
00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:04,849
ROSAS ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE,
360
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,345
NEXT TIME, CHECK YOUR FACTS.
361
00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:08,877
WELL, THERE'S ONE JOURNALIST WE
362
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,182
KNOW WHO ALWAYS GETS HIS FACTS
363
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:11,723
STRAIGHT -- SKIP REMING.
364
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:13,049
>> HAVE YOU BEEN TO THE
365
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,053
SUPERMARKET LATELY?
366
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,924
I HADN'T.
367
00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:17,633
THEN, THE OTHER DAY, MY MEXICAN
368
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:19,055
HOUSEKEEPER, MARIA, CALLED IN
369
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,389
SICK, LEAVING ME TO DO THE
370
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,093
SHOPPING.
371
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,764
WELL, THANKS TO MARIA'S LITTLE
372
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,303
STUNT, I LEARNED SOMETHING.
373
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,067
THE GROCERY STORES I GREW UP
374
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,866
WITH ARE A THING OF THE PAST.
375
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,798
TODAY, THE SIMPLE ACT OF PUTTING
376
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:31,673
FOOD ON THE TABLE MEANS HAVING
377
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:33,412
TO NAVIGATE AN IMPENETRABLE MAZE
378
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,176
OF RAINBOW-COLORED TRINKETS,
379
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:36,975
WHERE EVERY TURN IS A ONE-WAY
380
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:39,307
TICKET TO DIARRHEA TOWN.
381
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,712
GO TO THE GROCERY STORE, AND
382
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:41,954
YOUR FIRST STOP HAD BETTER BE
383
00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:43,079
THE DICTIONARY AISLE, BUB.
384
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,383
THE WAY THINGS ARE LABELED, IT'S
385
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:45,824
THE ONLY WAY YOU'LL KNOW WHAT
386
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:46,419
YOU'RE GETTING.
387
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:47,419
ORGANIC.
388
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,290
GLUTEN FREE.
389
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:49,288
DECAFFEINATED.
390
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,019
AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE --
391
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,194
HOMOGENIZED.
392
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,332
[ Laughing ] NO, THANKS,
393
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,056
HOMO GENIE.
394
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:55,101
I'LL TAKE MY MILK THE
395
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,395
OLD-FASHIONED WAY -- FROM THE
396
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,026
BREAST OF A PREGNANT GOAT.
397
00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,901
AND SINCE WHEN DOES FOOD HAVE TO
398
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:00,430
BE FOOD?
399
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,703
GROWING UP, ME AND SOME LOCAL
400
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:02,302
KIDS FORMED A GANG.
401
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:03,102
WE CALLED OURSELVES
402
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,203
THE STREET CHEFS, AND WE'D ROAM
403
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,274
THE NEIGHBORHOOD MAKING MEALS
404
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,272
OUT OF ANYTHING THAT WASN'T
405
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,143
NAILED DOWN -- HUBCAPS, LINOLEUM
406
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,011
TILE, USED PROPHYLACTICS, THOSE
407
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,710
LITTLE PELLETS OF MOUSE BONES
408
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:12,352
OWLS COUGH UP.
409
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:13,975
THAT STUCK TO THE RIBS ALL RIGHT
410
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,281
AND GOT YOU THROUGH THE DAY.
411
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,882
BUT YOU ASK THE STOCK BOY WHERE
412
00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:18,324
THEY KEEP THE OWL PELLETS TODAY,
413
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:19,818
AND HE LOOKS AT YOU LIKE YOU
414
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,250
ESCAPED FROM A NERVOUS HOSPITAL.
415
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,024
WELL, WOULD A CRAZY PERSON PICK
416
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,063
A FIGHT WITH GOD?
417
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,287
HUH? YOU HEAR ME GOD?!
418
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,462
I'M DONE EATING YOUR GARBAGE!
419
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,830
>> LaFonda: THANKS, SKIP.
420
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:30,359
NEXT WEEK ON "NEWSREADERS,"
421
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:31,803
ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION.
422
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:33,229
YOU DON'T HEAR ABOUT MANY
423
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:34,743
VICTORIES IN THIS WAR.
424
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,265
WE'LL TELL YOU ABOUT ONE OF
425
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:36,869
THEM.
426
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:39,040
[ POLICE RADIO CHATTER ]
427
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:40,909
AND FINALLY TONIGHT, WE HAVE TWO
428
00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:41,778
CORRECTIONS.
429
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,405
THE FIRST IS THAT A SECOND AGO,
430
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:44,910
I SAID THAT WE HAVE TWO
431
00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:46,812
CORRECTIONS WHEN WE ACTUALLY
432
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:47,884
ONLY HAVE ONE.
433
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,881
THERE IS NO SECOND CORRECTION.
434
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:52,423
I'M LOUIS LaFONDA. GOODNIGHT.
435
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,455
>> I WOULD SLIT MY MOM'S THROAT
436
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:06,233
TO DRESS LIKE YOU DO.
27641
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